2
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,307
HARRY: Hey, Jas, you awake?
3
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,065
Jason?
4
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,064
Jason, you awake?
5
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,021
Yeah, been up for hours.
Just getting dressed.
6
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,519
You finish your English paper?
7
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:45,799
I did it last night.
8
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,879
Did you eat your oatmeal?
9
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,182
Yeah. Thanks, Mom.
It was delicious.
10
00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:52,144
Here you go, Trooper.
11
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:05,599
(GROANS)
12
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,106
(SNICKERING)
13
00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:12,999
Nice board, Shepherd.
14
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,159
Bret,
15
00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:19,079
I'd love to stay and be physically
and emotionally abused by you guys,
16
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,428
but I should get to school.
17
00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:24,879
Ow.
18
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:29,504
I had a feeling you were an
excellent bully, and I was right.
19
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,420
Take it easy.
20
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,864
Give me the skateboard.
21
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:43,028
You sure? Because now you're going from
harmless bully to hardened boardjacker.
22
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:44,905
You don't want that, do you?
23
00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,350
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
24
00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:02,159
I assume everyone completed their
creative writing assignments.
25
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:03,871
(PAGER BEEPING)
26
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,879
Read your assignments in a
slow and peaceful manner.
27
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,864
You, Joshua. Go.
28
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:12,679
(INAUDIBLE)
JOSHUA: My dog ate it?
29
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,550
I know you don't have a dog.
30
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,311
Right. Sorry.
31
00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:17,799
Ms. Caldwell?
32
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,279
Yes, Kaylee.
33
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,359
Can you open the door? It's
kind of toasty in here.
34
00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:23,900
I suppose so.
35
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:29,621
(JASON GROANS)
36
00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:35,471
Jason Shepherd. Did you just
come in from that window?
37
00:02:35,719 --> 00:02:36,999
No, you looked a little flushed.
38
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,279
I was just creating
a cross-draft.
39
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,799
Now that we're all comfortable,
why don't you read us your story?
40
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:44,639
Let's give someone
else a chance.
41
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,261
No, I think we'd all
like to hear yours.
42
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,389
You did do it, didn't you?
43
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,919
Ms. Caldwell. Can I
call you Phyllis?
44
00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:56,959
No. Understood.
45
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,786
But, as much as I wanted
to write my paper,
46
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:04,424
I mean I really, really wanted
to write my paper, I couldn't.
47
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:09,788
I spent all last night in the
Greenbury General emergency room.
48
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,951
See, my mom made Swedish
meatballs for dinner.
49
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:19,940
My dad's favorite. He was so excited,
he accidentally swallowed one whole.
50
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,319
It was awful. He started
choking. His face turned purple.
51
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,839
The meatball was literally
bulging out his neck.
52
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,439
We rushed him to the ER.
53
00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,949
I tried to write it in the waiting
room, but it was too hard.
54
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:35,464
I needed to be by my father's side.
After all, he's the only dad I got.
55
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,302
You're lying through your
teeth, you little demon.
56
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,622
I wish I were. Call
my dad if you want.
57
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,239
His number is 555-0147.
58
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:46,871
I think I will.
59
00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:51,319
Are you crazy? You're totally
going to get busted.
60
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:52,599
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
61
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,519
Say, "Harry Shepherd's
office." No way.
62
00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,479
Help me out! What can I do?
63
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,159
How about write the paper?
64
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,508
Do it. No!
65
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:03,599
Harry Shepherd's office.
One moment, please.
66
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,026
Hello?
67
00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:06,199
(GASPING)
68
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,662
Hello, Ms. Caldwell.
69
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:13,101
Yes, it's true. It
was terrifying.
70
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,867
I started to see
the white light.
71
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,504
I was just about to cross
over to the other side
72
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,999
when I heard an Angel's
voice calling out.
73
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,825
When I opened my eyes
74
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:28,079
I saw my sweet, sweet
Jason standing over me.
75
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:31,359
I said, "Back off, Grim Reaper."
76
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,199
"I ain't done living yet."
77
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:37,630
And with every ounce of gas
I had left in my body,
78
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:41,388
(GIRL EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) I burped
that meatball right across the room.
79
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,543
(BOY CHUCKLES)
And I owe it all to my son.
80
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:47,865
I'm sorry, Ms. Caldwell. I
should stop talking now.
81
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:51,702
My throat is still very sore.
Thank you.
82
00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:53,919
(DOOR OPENING)
83
00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,381
Jason?
84
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,719
I am so sorry.
85
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,500
You just take your time
handing in that assignment.
86
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,585
Thank you.
87
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:08,905
Now back to those creative
essays. You, Trevor. Go.
88
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,429
(BELL RINGING)
89
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,119
Jason! Just who I
was looking for.
90
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,919
I need to see you in here.
91
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:21,079
I would love to hang out
and chat with you, Ms. C,
92
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:24,119
but I've got to go home and
help take care of my dad.
93
00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:25,751
Oh, really?
94
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,239
HARRY: How could you
lie to us, Jas?
95
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,799
You told me you
wrote that paper.
96
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:37,919
I don't know.
97
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:42,159
Unfortunately, that essay counts for
one-third of Jason's semester grade.
98
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:44,599
Without it, he'll
fail the class.
99
00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,079
He'll have to repeat the
course in summer school.
100
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,239
What? I can't go
to summer school!
101
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:51,747
There must be something
he can do to make it up.
102
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:56,588
I'm teaching English as a second language
at the community college until 6:00.
103
00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:00,759
If you can get me the paper by
then, I'll consider counting it.
104
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:04,119
Don't even think of downloading
something from the Net, Jason.
105
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,359
I want that essay handwritten.
106
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,279
A 1,000-word story
in three hours?
107
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:12,346
It should be no problem, making up
stories is your God-given talent.
108
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,230
HARRY: Making up stories
is your God-given talent.
109
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,465
"Jason: " Big.
110
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,626
"Fat."
111
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,791
"Liar."
112
00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,479
"Kenny Trooper was the
world's biggest liar.
113
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,919
"They say a little
lie can grow bigger.
114
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,679
"One man will pay the price.
115
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:56,463
"People everywhere stopped and
stared at the big, fat liar. ".
116
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:58,981
Yes!
117
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:01,509
Why'd he have to steal
my board today?
118
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,279
Nice wheels, Shepherd!
119
00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:13,741
(GUFFAWING)
120
00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:15,821
Freak!
121
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,307
(GROANS)
122
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:22,519
Sir?
123
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:24,039
I think we just hit a kid.
124
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,705
I'm on the phone.
125
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:30,267
Sorry about that. Apparently we
ran over a kid or something.
126
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,519
You all right there, buddy?
127
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:35,799
Yeah.
128
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,559
But you have to help get me
to the community college
129
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,079
in two minutes or I
fail eighth grade.
130
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,199
What is going on here?
131
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,740
I need a ride.
132
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,359
What am I, running
a taxi service?
133
00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:50,301
It's right down the road! You're
lucky I don't Sue you for whiplash!
134
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:54,629
Actually, my neck does
feel pretty stiff.
135
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,424
(GROANING)
136
00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,110
Get in the car.
137
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,307
Watch the shoes.
Watch the shoes.
138
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,999
Man. If you only knew the
kind of day I've had.
139
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:15,479
Yeah, it must be really,
really tough to be 11.
140
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,145
I'm actually 14.
141
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,025
My mistake.
142
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,106
Jason Shepherd.
143
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,071
Marty Wolf.
144
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,302
Famous Hollywood producer.
145
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:40,199
I'm in town shooting
my new picture.
146
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,831
Oh, yeah, you're that guy.
147
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:46,509
Dude, no offense, but you have made
some stinkers in the last few years.
148
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:49,039
Everyone has a dry spell, Ebert.
149
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:50,671
It's Jason.
150
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,999
Trust me, all it takes is one
hit to get you back on top.
151
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,159
That's what I'm counting
on with this story.
152
00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:57,519
Really? Why don't you
tell me more about that?
153
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,679
(EXCLAIMS SARCASTICALLY)
154
00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:00,679
I tried to get out of
it, but I got busted.
155
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,719
What'd you say? Dog
ate your homework?
156
00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,022
No. Dad choked on a meatball.
157
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,342
You spent all night
with him in the ER?
158
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:08,959
Yeah.
159
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,119
Teacher called the old man to
confirm. You imitated him.
160
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:13,831
Yeah, pretty much.
161
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:17,519
Listen and learn, short stack.
Here's where you went wrong.
162
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:22,079
You should've made your dad your
sister, the meatball a chicken wing.
163
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:25,879
Much easier to swallow, if you
G.M.D., which means, "Get my drift."
164
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,719
Wow. You're good.
165
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:29,919
No, no. I'm the best.
166
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,319
Here we are.
167
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,159
All right. God
bless you, Jared.
168
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,279
It's Jason.
169
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:37,902
And it always will be. Now you keep
practicing those lies, Jiminy.
170
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:43,229
BECAUSE YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM
ME: The truth, it's overrated.
171
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:47,906
Now get out! I got a
movie to produce!
172
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:51,399
Thanks for the ride, gentlemen.
173
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:52,906
Ciao.
174
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,064
Earl! You left...
175
00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:05,919
Back to the set, Sir?
176
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:08,427
Yeah! Double time it, driver!
177
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,799
Listen, Whitaker,
178
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:18,879
I'm not your sister, I'm not your
girlfriend and I'm not your priest.
179
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:21,719
So if you want to remain my partner,
I've got two words for you.
180
00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,039
(CHICKEN CLUCKING)
181
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,639
Shut the heck up!
182
00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,022
You talk way too much!
183
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:28,439
Can we cut? Can we...
184
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:29,599
(COUGHING)
185
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,279
This ain't working
for me at all.
186
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:33,719
MARTY: What are you doing?
187
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,624
Are you trying to fumigate me?
188
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:41,868
Why did you call cut? I did not
tell you to stop acting, Urkel.
189
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:45,469
Wolf, how many times have I
told you not to call me Urkel?
190
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:47,879
My name is Jaleel White, okay?
191
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:50,839
Urkel was a character I
played when I was a child!
192
00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,380
(CHUCKLING)
193
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,943
Okay, Jaleel.
What's the problem?
194
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,462
You want to know the problem?
195
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,479
I'm getting nothing
from the chicken.
196
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,239
He just sits there with
his head slumped over.
197
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,146
I have no idea what
my motivation is.
198
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,399
Well, you're a police
officer named Fowl.
199
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,519
Mmm-hmm.
200
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,479
Your new partner is a crime-fighting
chicken named Whitaker.
201
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:15,719
And your motivation is a nice, fat paycheck
that keeps you from working at McDonald's!
202
00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:17,909
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
203
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,759
Watch yourself, Wolf.
Watch yourself.
204
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,586
No, you watch yourself, pal!
205
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,759
You're lucky I'm not making you wear
the freaky glasses and suspenders.
206
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:32,279
I swear. I was riding Janie's
old bike and some limo hit me.
207
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:36,639
They offered me a ride. I must
have forgotten it in there.
208
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,639
Give us one reason why
should we believe you.
209
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,307
Because it's true.
210
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:45,661
There was some guy in the limo,
Marty something. Maybe he took it.
211
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,719
What are our options?
212
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,864
Without the essay,
summer school.
213
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,865
Or summer school.
214
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:05,159
Today, students, we are going to learn
about the joys of a special friend
215
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:09,385
I like to call "Mr. Semicolon."
216
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,999
The semicolon was
first used in a
217
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,319
1734 letter to British
Parliament...
218
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,479
Shh.
219
00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:23,627
By Mr. Jedediah Wilkinson.
220
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,039
W-I-L...
221
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,990
(SNORING)
222
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:32,999
Help me.
223
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,759
Come on, Jason. You must have
made at least one friend.
224
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:41,588
Yeah. The kid behind me who kept
flicking boogers at my neck?
225
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,359
He seemed like a
really nice guy.
226
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,119
I shouldn't even be in
that stupid summer school.
227
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:50,230
If it makes you feel better, my
parents are taking an adventure.
228
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:52,479
They're going river rafting
in the Grand Canyon.
229
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,599
But do I get an adventure? No.
230
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:58,905
My big adventure is staying at my
Grandma Pearl's with her toe fungus.
231
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,279
You can hang out at my place.
232
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:05,359
My folks are taking a long weekend at
some health spa for their anniversary.
233
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,345
It'll just be me and Janie
from Thursday till Sunday.
234
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,502
MALE ANNOUNCER: In a time
235
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,184
when a little lie
236
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,479
can grow bigger
237
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:20,639
(THUDDING)
238
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,783
and bigger,
239
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:26,588
one man will pay the price.
240
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:31,270
Next summer, people everywhere
241
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:35,187
will stop and stare.
242
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:39,100
Marty Wolf Pictures presents.
243
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:41,999
Kenny Trooper,
244
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:47,101
the big, fat liar.
245
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,144
You want to see it?
246
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,867
See it? I think I wrote it!
247
00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:57,639
HARRY: Not that again, Jason.
248
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,590
JASON: I'm telling you!
249
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:01,903
Wait. This is it.
250
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:06,759
Big Fat Liar is already being touted
as next summer's must-see movie event.
251
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,839
I recently talked
to Marty Wolf,
252
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,599
the mastermind behind this
sure-to-be blockbuster.
253
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,599
That's him. It's the
guy from the limo!
254
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,519
Where'd you come
up with this idea?
255
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:19,479
Some ideas you struggle
and struggle with
256
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:23,599
but the great ones, well,
they just come to you.
257
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,599
Yeah, from my
backpack, you loser!
258
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,439
Jason.
259
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:28,599
Dad,
260
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:32,109
I'm serious. That
guy stole my paper.
261
00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:34,104
You have to believe me.
262
00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,311
I can't.
263
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,784
I just don't trust
you right now, Jas.
264
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:50,559
Have a nice weekend.
265
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:51,919
JANIE: We will.
266
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,585
CAROL: See you on Sunday.
Have fun.
267
00:14:54,358 --> 00:14:55,919
HARRY: Look out for
your brother, Janie.
268
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,599
Bye. Daddy. Bye-bye.
269
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,743
JANIE: We'll miss you guys.
270
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,359
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)
271
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:06,866
(TIRES SCREECH)
272
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,423
(HIP-HOP MUSIC BLARING)
273
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,799
Later. I'm going over to Rudy's.
274
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:15,959
Rudy?
275
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:17,944
Yo, what's up, dog?
276
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,105
How you living?
277
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,239
It's crackin', kid.
278
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,519
(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)
279
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,470
Peace out, little G.
280
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:37,141
Booyah!
281
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,879
He's not literally a
catcher eating rye bread.
282
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:48,310
It's more of a metaphor for a
state of adolescent angst.
283
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,639
We need to talk. I'm tutoring.
284
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,759
Bet you wish you still
had your skateboard.
285
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:54,879
(LAUGHS)
286
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,184
Let's see.
Fully-developed brain,
287
00:15:58,360 --> 00:15:59,879
skateboard.
288
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,199
I think I'll take the brain.
289
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,343
But I have your skateboard.
290
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,439
Kaylee, pack your bags.
We're going on a trip.
291
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,119
KAYLEE: I can't just
go to Los Angeles.
292
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,599
I can't have my parents
thinking I'm a liar.
293
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:11,759
You are a liar.
294
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:16,559
In general, that's true. But this time I'm
telling the truth. I wrote that paper.
295
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,239
I won't rest until Wolf admits he
stole it and my parents know it.
296
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,020
What are we supposed to do,
walk across the country?
297
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:27,239
Three years of yard work and babysitting
money. Our flight leaves in two hours.
298
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:30,862
What about my Grandma Pearl?
I'm staying at her house.
299
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:33,541
That woman doesn't even
know what year it is.
300
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:35,959
You said you wanted
an adventure.
301
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:40,239
We'll go to LA, I'll get my paper,
and we'll be back before Sunday.
302
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:43,464
My grandma will notice if I
don't even show up at all!
303
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,599
BRET: Kaylee, have
you got a plunger?
304
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:50,559
I took a dookie and I clogged
up the toilet! Oh, boy! Oh, no!
305
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:51,879
(BRET LAUGHING GOOFILY)
306
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,545
What a mess.
307
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,639
KAYLEE: This won't work. She's
not that blind and senile.
308
00:16:58,640 --> 00:16:59,759
JASON: It'll work.
309
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:02,879
If any of my teammates
see me, you're dead.
310
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,439
We made a deal.
311
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,902
You want us to do your summer
school homework or not?
312
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:10,039
Yeah, it's just that...
It's only a few days.
313
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,820
And remember to make your
voice sound like a girl's.
314
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:17,185
Come on, big fella.
315
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,279
Who's there?
316
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,679
I've got a gun.
317
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,142
It's just Kaylee, Grandma.
318
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,621
Kaylee?
319
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:39,119
You can't be Kaylee.
You've grown so tall.
320
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:42,230
And you're so muscular.
321
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,999
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
322
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,559
I'm benching like 220, 230.
323
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:50,386
Good for you. Give me a hug.
324
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:53,781
Come on.
325
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,319
WOMAN ON PA: Welcome to Los
Angeles International Airport.
326
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:11,181
Airport shuttles are located
outside the baggage claiming area.
327
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:20,799
Follow my lead.
328
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,704
Okay.
329
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,864
Hi. I'm Mr. Stroog.
330
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,623
(SNICKERING)
331
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:32,559
Are you serious?
332
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:33,919
Is there a problem?
333
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,221
No.
334
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,719
You're kind of young to be the biggest
fur coat distributor in the Midwest.
335
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:43,661
It's a family business. I've been
selling pelts since I was a baby.
336
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:46,661
Okay.
337
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:49,599
I'm Frank.
338
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,959
We want to get some sightseeing in
before we cover this town in fur.
339
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,119
Okay.
340
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:58,425
So, this here is a little
place I like to call.
341
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,102
(IN SPANISH ACCENT)
Los Angeles.
342
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,679
Thanks for the lift, Frank.
We'll take it from here.
343
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:45,879
You got it, Mr. Stroog. Look, here's my card.
If you need a ride, give me a shout-out.
344
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,306
Thanks.
345
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,119
MAN ON PA: Welcome,
ladies and gentlemen.
346
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:53,799
This is Ron, your driver. And
I am Arthur, your tour guide.
347
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,399
So, what's the plan?
348
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:59,119
When we get to Wolf's building, we
jump off, infiltrate his office,
349
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,661
make him admit he
stole my story.
350
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:06,145
That's it? That's the lamest
plan I've ever heard.
351
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,303
Trust me, it's going to work.
352
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,302
So stay tuned.
353
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:16,919
Folks, this is the backlot, where
many of our hit movies are made.
354
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,159
Speaking of movies, in just a
few days we begin filming...
355
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,303
Come on. Follow me.
356
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:29,679
Excuse me, where is Stage two?
357
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,142
Security. Let's go.
358
00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,989
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
359
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:59,386
Can I take a moment to say
how totally awesome this is?
360
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,027
(GRUNTING)
361
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:14,661
(INAUDIBLE)
362
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:29,599
(PHONE RINGS)
363
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:35,942
Marty Wolf Pictures.
Please hold.
364
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:37,759
Can I help you?
365
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,599
We're here to see Marty Wolf.
366
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,629
Do you have an appointment?
367
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,461
I ask you,
368
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:48,199
Astrid, what kind of
sick world is this
369
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,788
when children need an appointment
to see their own father?
370
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:54,504
Mr. Wolf doesn't have children.
371
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,239
Not that he knows of.
372
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:58,519
Shh.
373
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,759
Look, this will be an emotional
reunion for all of us,
374
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:05,639
so once you let us in, probably gonna
want to hold Papa's calls as well.
375
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:07,559
Mr. Wolf doesn't see anyone
without an appointment.
376
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:08,719
(PHONE RINGING)
377
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,022
Marty Wolf Pictures.
378
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,027
No, she stepped away.
379
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,868
I'd love to take a message.
You got it.
380
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,025
Well, if you'd
slow down, then...
381
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:21,959
Help me out. No.
382
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,439
Help me out. No.
383
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:24,999
Help me out. Okay.
384
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,665
(PHONE RINGING)
385
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,145
Marty Wolf Pictures.
One moment, please.
386
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,380
WOMAN: Operator. Marty
Wolf Pictures, please.
387
00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:37,421
(BARKING)
388
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,505
(PHONE RINGING)
389
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,279
Marty Wolf Pictures.
390
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,359
KAYLEE: Astrid Barker, please.
391
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:48,919
This is Doris Del Rio down in parking.
Do you drive a Saturn, ma'am?
392
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,239
Yes.
393
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:51,839
Well, it's...
394
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,079
Um...
395
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:54,399
Parked on a dog.
396
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,239
I am not going to say that.
Come on.
397
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:57,479
Hello?
398
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,919
Your car is parked on a dog.
399
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:04,383
My car is parked on a dog?
400
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:08,479
Yes, ma'am. In the tail
area, to be more specific.
401
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,863
(GAGGING)
It's gruesome. Listen for yourself.
402
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,269
(YELPING)
403
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:17,585
(RETCHING)
404
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,344
Hang on. I'm coming!
Don't die!
405
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:26,871
Just stay. Keep breathing.
Think of a happy place.
406
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:34,426
Keep a lookout. I'm sure this thing
will be over in just a few minutes.
407
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,542
(PHONE RINGING)
408
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,319
Marty Wolf Pictures.
Can I take a message?
409
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:52,146
Mr. Wolf is about to
go into a meeting.
410
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,061
Uh-huh.
411
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,102
Sandier.
412
00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:01,479
MARTY: We're not just looking for
my personal organizer, Monty.
413
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,719
That thing is my life! If you
lost it, then you've killed me.
414
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:09,025
Draw a line of chalk around
me, baby, because I am dead!
415
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:10,439
MONTY: I understand that!
416
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:11,559
No, you don't.
417
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,159
You always say that.
No, you don't.
418
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,159
Did you check your
jacket pocket?
419
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:17,999
Do I look like a moron?
420
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:20,599
No, it's just if you
remember that one time...
421
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,519
Fine, Monty. Fine.
422
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,983
If it'll make you happy,
I'll check my jacket pocket.
423
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,020
It's in there.
424
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,540
(SIGHS WITH RELIEF)
425
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,347
Hello?
426
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,903
Excuse me. How's it going?
427
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:40,479
Who are you?
428
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:44,102
Jason Shepherd. Remember me?
I wrote Big Fat Liar.
429
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:47,719
Uh...
430
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:49,306
(CHUCKLES)
431
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,982
Monty, hold my calls.
432
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:57,347
Give me a few minutes alone
here with Mr. Shepherd.
433
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,502
Well, well, well.
434
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:14,343
Jason Shepherd. The young man
from Greenbury, Michigan.
435
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:17,863
I must tell you, this
is quite a surprise.
436
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:19,719
What can I do for you?
437
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:22,559
Call my dad and tell him you
stole the story from me.
438
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,340
Call your dad? Why?
439
00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:28,399
It's the truth and you're
the only one he'll believe.
440
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,639
You traveled halfway
across the country
441
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,639
to have me tell your dad
you did your homework?
442
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,830
Make that phone call, and you'll
never hear from me again.
443
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:42,919
(BANGS TABLE)
444
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,919
Okay. Really?
445
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:46,381
Yes.
446
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:54,399
It's a great piece of work, kid.
And I'm not just blowing smoke.
447
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,439
I refer back to it whenever I
get in a bind on the script.
448
00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,981
You'll return it to
me and make the call?
449
00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:04,744
You gave me my movie, Shepherd. It's
the very least I can do for you.
450
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:07,959
You smoke cigars, hot shot?
451
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,039
I'm 14, Wolf.
452
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:11,671
Suit yourself.
453
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:17,345
Jason Shepherd of
Greenbury, Michigan,
454
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,741
it was a pleasure doing
business with you.
455
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:24,119
Oh! No!
456
00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:25,639
What have I done?
457
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:26,879
(EXCLAIMING)
458
00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:30,980
Stand back, son. Let me try and
stamp it out with this lit cigar.
459
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,942
I seem to be making
matters worse.
460
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,981
(EXCLAIMS)
461
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,984
Good move, Smoky!
462
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,069
Hold on! Help is on the way.
463
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,465
Stand back!
464
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,506
(EXCLAIMS)
465
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:55,919
You're sick! All I wanted you to do was
to tell my dad I wrote that paper!
466
00:26:55,920 --> 00:27:00,679
Or what? You'd shoot me with a
spitball? Give me a wedgie?
467
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:05,279
Grow up! This is Hollywood,
baby. It's a dog-eat-dog town.
468
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,239
Worse. We got cats eating cats.
469
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:11,909
We got fish munching fish.
We play by our own rules.
470
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:16,599
I'm not leaving until
you make that call!
471
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,062
I'll make a call, all right.
472
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:20,999
ROCCO: Malone speaking.
473
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,399
Rocco, this is the Wolf.
474
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,021
Send some of your boys
down here. I got a Code W.
475
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:29,346
Another angry writer
refusing to leave. Wolf out.
476
00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:34,039
I tried to play fair, Wolf,
but you asked for it!
477
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:35,359
(IMITATES NERVOUS CHUCKLE)
478
00:27:35,360 --> 00:27:37,959
You don't know who
you're messing with!
479
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,307
Come on!
480
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:43,822
Thanks for holding. Can you
spell Soderbergh for me?
481
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:48,504
Thanks, Steven. I'll
have Mr. Wolf return.
482
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,359
Marty Wolf Pictures.
483
00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:53,869
You don't understand! Let go!
484
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:55,865
It was my idea!
485
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:59,759
And I wrote The Nutty Professor.
I've heard it all before.
486
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:01,199
JASON: Get off me!
487
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:02,559
Hi.
488
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:06,159
Hi, Astrid. Adam Sandier
called to set up a lunch.
489
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:10,101
I sent flowers to Meg Ryan because she
sounded like she had a little cold.
490
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,719
And I scheduled a deep body
massage for you at 3:00.
491
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,546
You look like you could
use a little "you" time.
492
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:22,799
Thank you, kind stranger.
493
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:26,946
What can I say? This is Hollywood,
Kaylee. It's a fish-eat-fish town.
494
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:29,679
They play by their
own rules out here!
495
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,119
Does that mean we're going home?
496
00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:34,468
As soon as Wolf admits
he stole my story.
497
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:35,999
I'm not trying to be negative,
498
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:39,319
but didn't we just find out
Wolf isn't going to admit that?
499
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:40,439
He'll do it.
500
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:41,519
How?
501
00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,061
Because I have his life
in the palm of my hand.
502
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,747
Great. So we're stealing now?
503
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:48,759
We're not stealing,
we're borrowing.
504
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:53,119
I have Wolf's alarm codes, credit
card numbers, his schedule.
505
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:54,159
So?
506
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,199
So, this is awesome.
507
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:59,359
In a day, I'll figure out how
to use this info against him.
508
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,264
I don't know, Jas.
509
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,820
I can't go home until
my dad knows the truth.
510
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:08,742
If you saw how he looked at me.
It was like...
511
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:13,103
I don't know, like I
wasn't his kid anymore.
512
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,422
Do you think your plan might
include food and a place to sleep?
513
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:28,468
The guard! Let's
get out of here.
514
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,788
JASON: Let's check
out that warehouse.
515
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:01,541
Looks like we found
our temporary home.
516
00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:08,662
KAYLEE: Look at all this stuff.
517
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:28,759
JASON: All right, Kaylee. We'll need
clothes and supplies. Let's hunker down
518
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:32,064
until the law dogs leave, then
start racking up the merch.
519
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:34,223
What are you talking about?
520
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:39,230
We stay here until closing
time, then we go shopping.
521
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:52,744
(TAPPING)
522
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,027
Jas?
523
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:00,945
I'm at the beach!
524
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,639
Frank? Mr. Stroog. Meet us
at the studio gate in 20.
525
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:05,941
Hey.
526
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:08,919
What's with the Cokes?
527
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,319
The machine, it's
great, they're free.
528
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,110
(HYSTERICALLY)
They're free.
529
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,426
(CHUCKLES)
530
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:21,622
Good morning, Frank.
Let's get moving.
531
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:23,942
We've got furs to sell.
532
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:31,039
Fur coat King of the
Midwest, my butt!
533
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:35,345
I got some R-rated dialogue
for you, but I'll keep it PG.
534
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:39,785
You owe me $100 for
yesterday's ride.
535
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:43,304
(STAMMERING)
You almost cost me my job.
536
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:44,639
I'm sorry. I can explain.
537
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:45,959
(GIBBERING)
538
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:47,119
Hear that?
539
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:48,839
(GIBBERING CONTINUES)
540
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:51,599
If we could... I don't
want to hear it, okay?
541
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:52,719
(GIBBERING)
542
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,182
(STAMMERING)
543
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:03,706
I'm sorry. We came here to get
even with this guy, Marty Wolf.
544
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:07,199
He stole my story and
he's making it into...
545
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:08,279
Did you just say "Marty Wolf"?
546
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:09,519
You know him?
547
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,999
I used to drive him.
He fired me last year.
548
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:14,079
Why?
549
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:15,506
I'm an actor. See?
550
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:20,039
I asked him if I could audition
for one of his movies.
551
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,919
He could have just said no.
Instead, he takes my headshot,
552
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,599
writes "loser"
across my forehead,
553
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,719
and faxes it to every
casting director in town.
554
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:31,239
You poor thing.
555
00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:34,908
If you want to mess with
Wolf, I got your back.
556
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,907
JASON: Today, it's
know the enemy.
557
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:56,751
Right on schedule.
558
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,279
MARTY: We begin
production in two days.
559
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:02,982
Dusty! El director! First
up's the big stunt.
560
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:06,799
I want to blow them away at
the start! Hit me, kiddo.
561
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:08,559
Rock and roll, baby.
I am ready to party.
562
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:09,839
(EXCLAIMS)
563
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:10,959
(IMITATES HORSE NEIGHING)
564
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:14,039
We open. Twelve different
camera angles.
565
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:17,787
Smoke ascending from the
streets of the city. Kastang!
566
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:19,879
Birds descending
from the heavens,
567
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,159
like winged messengers
from above, beckoning.
568
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:25,462
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
569
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,599
Confucius say, "Easy
does it," skippy.
570
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:32,268
I can barely afford one camera,
let alone 12. And no birds.
571
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:34,710
Monty! Talk to me
about the budget!
572
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:41,079
We're $2 million over, and the studio
hasn't approved the new budget.
573
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:42,999
When are they
supposed to do that?
574
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:47,589
Tomorrow morning. You have a breakfast
meeting at Marcus Duncan's house.
575
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,599
(MOCKINGLY) A breakfast meeting at
Marcus Duncan's house.
576
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:54,519
Tell our little "vice president" he
can drag his sorry butt to my place
577
00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:56,999
if he wants to talk
to the Wolf Man.
578
00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,302
Actually, Sir,
579
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:02,140
he's not the V.P. anymore.
580
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:05,345
He's the president.
581
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:12,744
I see.
582
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,344
Get his address, then. We
don't want to be late, do we?
583
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:19,501
Next!
584
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:23,039
For a big movie, you
need a big stunt.
585
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:26,359
For a big stunt, you need
serious media coverage.
586
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:30,559
I'm talking TV, print, that
Internet crap. Everything.
587
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:31,639
Who's handling that?
588
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:34,671
I am. Jocelyn Davis, Senior V.P.
of Publicity.
589
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,026
Sure you're not Senior V.P.
of Twinkies?
590
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:41,191
MARTY: Funny.
591
00:35:43,240 --> 00:35:45,879
I'll make sure the
shoot is well-covered.
592
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:50,629
Terrific! Okay, people, meeting's
over. What's next, Monty?
593
00:35:55,240 --> 00:35:56,541
Cool.
594
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,063
(PEOPLE APPLAUDING)
12:30, stunt demonstration.
595
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:01,399
What do you think, Marty?
596
00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:04,199
Perfect! What'd
you think, Dusty?
597
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,399
Loved it!
598
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:09,386
Actually, I think I liked it
better the first time I saw it,
599
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,749
in 1942, you dinosaur!
600
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:16,759
Vince, meet my new effects
whiz, Lester Golub.
601
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:18,279
(SHUSHING)
A pleasure to meet...
602
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,039
Lester is going to design
the stunt on his iBook.
603
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:23,759
Your stunt guy will do whatever
the computer tells him.
604
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:25,799
I don't need a
computer to do my job.
605
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:29,279
Geek boy, ignore Father Time
over here and get working.
606
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,479
From the looks of you, I'm sure
you don't have a social life.
607
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:36,102
You two get together tomorrow
to finalize the details.
608
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:39,584
I'm off tomorrow. I'm
taking a personal day.
609
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:45,279
What was that? Personal day? What
are you talking about, Vince?
610
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:48,424
I'm taking my granddaughter
to a birthday party.
611
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:50,759
Oh...
612
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:52,391
May I? Sure.
613
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,102
That's great. Look at that.
614
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,639
The crazy hair. Man.
615
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:00,119
(EXCLAIMING)
616
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:01,479
(WHOOPING)
617
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:02,959
Oh, man. That's fun.
618
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:06,787
See, this is the movie business,
grandpa! The talkies, you know?
619
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:11,629
You can take your personal day in
a year or two, when you're dead!
620
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:19,945
JASON: Today we learned we're officially
dealing with the meanest man alive!
621
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:21,639
All right, colored dye.
622
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:22,999
Check.
623
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,199
MegaGlue.
624
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,025
Check.
625
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:30,265
Oh, my God.
626
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:32,111
Grandma Pearl.
627
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,119
Bret must be in a
living hell right now.
628
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:36,751
(GROANING)
629
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,143
How many more, Kaylee?
630
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:44,664
Fifty. I gotta get ripped, baby!
631
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,239
Yeah. Yeah. Feel the burn!
632
00:37:48,240 --> 00:37:49,359
(GRUNTING)
633
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,504
I'm the best, baby!
I'm the best!
634
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:57,505
You know, Grandma, you should think
about getting into shape yourself.
635
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:01,185
One more, Grandma! One more!
636
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:06,188
It's all you! I ain't helping!
Last one! Yeah!
637
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,503
(PHONE RINGING)
638
00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:17,510
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
639
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,345
Hello. Hi, Jas.
640
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:25,701
Hey, Dad.
641
00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:27,999
Just called to see
how you were doing.
642
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,639
I'm doing good. Staying
out of trouble.
643
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:31,879
(MACHINE CLANGING)
644
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:33,239
What's that noise?
645
00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:35,623
I'm doing an experiment
for science class,
646
00:38:35,624 --> 00:38:38,199
it's this thing with
ball bearings and bells.
647
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:39,439
Sounds good.
648
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,559
I just called because you looked
pretty upset when we left.
649
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,544
Yeah, well, about that, Dad.
650
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:48,439
I totally get what you said
about the whole trust thing.
651
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:52,904
And when you get back, you'll see I've
been trying really hard to earn it.
652
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:54,279
Glad to hear it, pal.
653
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,503
Good night, Dad. Good night.
654
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:59,599
Call forwarding, got to love it.
655
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,239
You really think this will work?
656
00:39:01,240 --> 00:39:03,349
One day. That's
all it'll take.
657
00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:05,742
Wolf won't know what hit him.
658
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,742
Jas? A little help here.
659
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,159
Will your parents call?
660
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,759
They're in the middle of a
canyon. There's no phones.
661
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,586
Thanks for coming
out here with me.
662
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:21,943
I came for the
adventure, remember?
663
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:23,741
Right.
664
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:27,583
Let's get some sleep.
Tomorrow we launch Phase Two.
665
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:29,866
KAYLEE: Whoa!
666
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,029
(ALARM CLOCK BEEPING)
667
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,787
It's showtime, Mr. Funnybones.
668
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:54,319
(CHUCKLING)
669
00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,782
You cute little monkey, you.
670
00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,025
(IMITATING MONKEY)
671
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:05,791
Look out!
672
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:08,039
(EXCLAIMING)
673
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:10,519
(IN HIGH VOICE) Cut it out, Marty!
Hey, that kills, Marty!
674
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,151
(CHORTLES)
675
00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:38,951
MARTY: Hungry!
676
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,542
(SNAPPY POP MUSIC PLAYING)
677
00:41:15,720 --> 00:41:18,705
Mr. Earpiece, meet
Miss MegaGlue.
678
00:41:46,240 --> 00:41:47,587
(WHOOPS)
679
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:55,106
(GROWLS)
680
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:00,221
Let's dance, Funnybones!
681
00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:01,746
(WHOOPING)
682
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,679
Oh, my God!
683
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:39,223
(SCREAMING)
684
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:45,464
(PHONE RINGS)
685
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,319
Marty Wolf Pictures.
This is Monty.
686
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:51,319
Monty! Charisma from
Marcus Duncan's office.
687
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:53,319
I'm temping for his
second assistant.
688
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:57,719
I'm so psyched you're there, cookie.
I was watching Charmed last night,
689
00:42:57,720 --> 00:43:01,359
and just as Alyssa Milano put a
spell on her cute demon boyfriend,
690
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:06,719
I had the biggest panic attack that I
forgot to give you Duncan's new address.
691
00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:09,500
I didn't know he moved.
That was quick.
692
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:13,279
Yeah, in a big way. He
bought like the sickest pad
693
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:16,319
in the 90210. We're
talking mondo bucks.
694
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:17,519
(AFFECTED LAUGHTER)
695
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:21,359
Anyhoo, tell Mr. Wolf
that Duncan lives at
696
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,311
867 North Maple Drive.
697
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:26,504
All right. Thanks. Got it.
698
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,071
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
699
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:31,261
What?
700
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:34,439
It's Monty. I'm glad I
caught you. Duncan moved.
701
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:39,719
Cancel the meeting. Get a makeup chick to
meet me at the office. It's an emergency.
702
00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:41,670
No, you cannot
cancel the meeting.
703
00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:45,359
If he doesn't approve the new budget
we can't start shooting tomorrow.
704
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:46,719
(LAUGHS)
705
00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:51,039
I don't think you understand.
I'm blue.
706
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:54,503
Come on, now. We all
have our off days.
707
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,867
No, I mean I'm literally...
708
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:01,864
And I've got orange...
709
00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:03,919
(GRUNTS)
710
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,239
Come on, Wolf Man.
711
00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:10,228
Forget it. Give me his address.
I'll figure something out.
712
00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:12,079
867 North Maple.
713
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:13,541
Copy that.
714
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,079
You come up with an
ending for the script?
715
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:21,385
I'm working on it. I'm headed across
the lot now to do some research.
716
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:24,226
But I could use a
little help, Marty.
717
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:27,079
I'm writing and producing
a major motion picture.
718
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:30,879
I don't have time to work on
the script! That's your job.
719
00:44:30,880 --> 00:44:32,799
Now stop wasting time
and get to work!
720
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:36,229
I'm 24 hours away from the most
important shoot of my career!
721
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:38,461
(EXCLAIMS)
722
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:40,826
(HORN BLARING)
723
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:43,439
Get glasses, grandma!
724
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:45,230
Up yours, blue boy!
725
00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:46,981
(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)
726
00:44:57,720 --> 00:44:59,545
(CAR LOCK CHIRPS)
727
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:05,986
(KNOCKING)
728
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:09,359
Yeah, I'm...
729
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:10,719
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
730
00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:12,260
Uh-huh.
731
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:32,879
Got the alarm codes?
732
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:34,839
(CAR LOCK CHIRPS)
I'm all over it.
733
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:36,949
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
734
00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:42,305
Sister, I invented
the word "rough."
735
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:45,999
He'll be eating sugar cubes out of
my hand when I'm finished with him.
736
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,919
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
737
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:49,551
Right.
738
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:54,519
(CHILDREN CHATTERING)
739
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:56,151
What the...
740
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:57,981
The clown!
741
00:45:58,320 --> 00:45:59,999
Let's hurt him!
742
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:01,359
(SCREAMING)
743
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:02,991
Excuse me...
744
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:07,359
I need backup!
745
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:09,039
BOY: Incoming!
746
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:10,990
(ALL YELLING)
747
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,741
I'm a very powerful
Hollywood producer!
748
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:21,504
What am I doing here?
749
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,982
Don't touch that. Don't touch.
750
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:27,719
You kids are all gonna be
hearing from my lawyer!
751
00:46:27,720 --> 00:46:29,199
Don't let him get away!
752
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:30,759
Get off of me!
753
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:33,904
You want to dance, kid?
Let's dance!
754
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:38,199
(SCREAMING) You want a piece of me?
You want a piece of me?
755
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:41,185
You're going down, clown!
You're going down.
756
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:45,789
Bring it! I'm Marty Wolf! Do
you have any idea who I am?
757
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:47,705
Come on, four eyes!
758
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:49,386
(GRUNTING)
759
00:46:51,240 --> 00:46:52,399
Hey!
760
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:54,479
Heads up, clown!
761
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:56,199
(SCREAMING)
762
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:57,945
(YELLING)
763
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,541
BOY: You're not
even funny, clown!
764
00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:09,479
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
765
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:11,919
MONTY: Hello? Where the
hell did you send me?
766
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:13,799
Because it sure wasn't
Duncan's house!
767
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,399
How was I supposed to know?
768
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:19,750
Don't speak, just listen. You've got
to get me in there with Duncan!
769
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:21,599
I'll just reschedule
the meeting, Marty!
770
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:22,759
Jeez!
771
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:26,064
Okay, that's all you had to say.
772
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:28,025
Adiós, sugarpuff.
773
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:30,501
(SNARLS)
774
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:35,439
(CAR HORN BLARING)
775
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:37,119
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
776
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:38,751
(BLARING STOPS)
What the...
777
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:40,706
(HORN TOOTING)
778
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:45,342
(POP MUSIC BLARING ON RADIO)
779
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:51,423
(EXCLAIMING)
780
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,626
Stop!
781
00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:56,359
(CAR ALARM BLARING)
782
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:57,799
(SIREN WAILING)
783
00:47:57,800 --> 00:47:59,864
(EXCLAIMING)
784
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:02,265
(CAR HORN HONKS)
785
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:07,464
Marty, I like your new coloring.
It works for you.
786
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:10,519
You did this?
787
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:12,639
Yes. And it can end anytime.
788
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:15,466
All you have to do is make
one phone call to my dad.
789
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:20,827
It shouldn't be much of a problem, since
that headset is superglued to your ear.
790
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:23,950
Here's my dad's number.
791
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:28,945
Hiya!
792
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:31,870
Call me. Bye-bye.
793
00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:36,719
Rotten kids!
794
00:48:36,720 --> 00:48:38,039
(HORN BLARING)
795
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:39,865
(CAR ALARM BLARING)
796
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:47,984
Shepherd!
797
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:56,665
(EXCLAIMING)
798
00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:00,869
(CAR HORN BLARING)
799
00:49:07,240 --> 00:49:08,999
(CAR ALARM CONTINUES BLARING)
800
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:10,631
(SIGHS)
801
00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:12,741
(EXCLAIMS)
802
00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:21,191
(CAR LOCK CHIRPS)
803
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:27,199
Oh, my God! I'm
going to kill you!
804
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:32,039
Take it easy, man. It wasn't my
fault. The old bag rear-ended me.
805
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:33,759
Eat my bloomers, blue boy!
806
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:38,239
Very nice. That's really charming,
from a woman of your advanced years.
807
00:49:38,240 --> 00:49:39,871
Have a nice day!
808
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:43,861
It's just the tire.
You'll pay for this!
809
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:46,399
All right, listen, Masher,
810
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:50,159
I'm sure we can come
to some arrangement.
811
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:52,303
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC BLARING)
812
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:55,101
Yeah, that's what I
thought, tough guy!
813
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:04,710
Who's the tough guy now, pal?
814
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:10,390
Oh, no. Come on.
815
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:12,759
No, dude.
816
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:14,919
Back off, man! No way!
817
00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:17,666
(WAILING)
818
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:22,424
Two meetings in a row, Monty.
819
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:26,759
This is not the way to get on
the new president's good side.
820
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:28,425
I'm sorry, Sir.
821
00:50:28,680 --> 00:50:31,745
I'm sure there must
be some explanation.
822
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:38,101
They told me to pick
up a little blue car.
823
00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:42,106
They didn't say anything
about a little blue man.
824
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:44,548
(LAUGHING)
825
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:48,870
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
826
00:50:49,240 --> 00:50:50,479
You got the Wolf.
827
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:54,262
Where are you? I am at
Duncan's office right now!
828
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:55,781
I'm...
829
00:50:56,240 --> 00:51:00,479
I'm not going to make it. Tell him
it's your fault and reschedule.
830
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:03,799
I'm not going to lie to the new
President of the studio, Marty.
831
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:05,799
Don't get all high
and mighty on me.
832
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:10,999
Because if I go down, you're riding shotgun,
Tootsie Roll. Now make something up.
833
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:13,479
I'll smooth things over
with him at the premiere.
834
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:15,589
Fine. Wolf out.
835
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:20,479
Hi, everybody. I'm Pat O'Brien
and welcome to Tinseltown.
836
00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:22,919
Here we are again,
this time at
837
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:27,839
the world premiere of Marty Wolf's
action-comedy, Whitaker and Fowl.
838
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:30,239
This must be a very
exciting evening for you.
839
00:51:30,240 --> 00:51:32,919
Yes. It's just good to
get the past behind me,
840
00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:35,799
and finally be taken
seriously as an actor.
841
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:37,359
Can I give a shout-out?
842
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:39,230
Oh, God, it's the chicken!
843
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:41,350
(CLUCKING)
844
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:44,144
(CLAMORING)
845
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:49,119
It looks like all of Hollywood
has turned out for this one.
846
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:52,629
But the question is,
where is Marty Wolf?
847
00:51:58,040 --> 00:51:59,879
WOMAN: Sweet Moses,
what is that?
848
00:51:59,880 --> 00:52:01,439
MAN: Don't look in his eyes.
849
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:03,185
(CROWD CHEERING)
850
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:06,871
(EXCLAIMS)
Hey there, Marty.
851
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:12,023
Ready to end this?
852
00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:13,950
(CHORTLING)
853
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:19,039
Kid, you have no idea who
you are dealing with.
854
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:21,399
You think I care about a
couple of little pranks?
855
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:22,679
Nah.
856
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:24,359
(LAUGHS)
857
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:26,310
See you around, Shep.
858
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:32,869
(DIALING CELL PHONE)
859
00:52:33,720 --> 00:52:35,749
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
860
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:38,999
Hello.
861
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:40,639
This is J-Dog calling K-Bird.
862
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:41,919
J-Dog calling K-Bird.
863
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:43,399
Jas, is that you?
864
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:48,388
I'm using code names. Wolf didn't throw in
the towel. We're moving to Phase Three.
865
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:50,020
What's Phase Three?
866
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,519
We're going to our first
Hollywood soirée.
867
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:55,141
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
868
00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:59,559
I don't know what you think, but all
of a sudden, it's like Bam! Bad movie!
869
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:01,319
Can you say boring?
870
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:06,279
I mean, when you did Saved by the
Bell? Quality. Okay? Substance.
871
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:07,959
Worst film in the world.
872
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:09,679
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
873
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:11,220
(CLUCKING)
874
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:13,439
Whoa!
875
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:16,519
There he is! El presidente!
876
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:17,919
(VOCALIZING)
877
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:19,079
(EXCLAIMS)
878
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:22,639
And his wife, the
very lovely Shaniqua.
879
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:23,919
It's Shandra.
880
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:27,799
Great to see you. I think
they loved it! Don't you?
881
00:53:27,800 --> 00:53:31,946
I think that sad excuse for a movie
just lost the studio $30 million.
882
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,661
I'm pulling the plug
on Big Fat Liar. What?
883
00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:35,839
It's over, Wolf.
884
00:53:35,840 --> 00:53:37,790
Just hear me out!
885
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:40,943
The truth is...
886
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:43,183
Would you excuse us
please, Shananny?
887
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:45,784
The truth is
888
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:51,664
I missed those meetings because I had
an incredible breakthrough on BFL,
889
00:53:51,760 --> 00:53:53,639
which I was working on all day.
890
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:56,799
I wanted to wait until we were
in front of the entire industry
891
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:58,625
to make my presentation.
892
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:05,639
One chance is all
I'm giving you.
893
00:54:05,640 --> 00:54:07,159
That's all I need.
894
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:12,466
Strap on your seat belt, Dr. Duncanstein,
because you are about to be blown away.
895
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:15,231
Monty!
896
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:18,590
Sorry. Marty!
897
00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:24,159
What's going on? What is this big
presentation you're giving about the movie?
898
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:26,667
I have no idea!
899
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:28,159
None!
900
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:29,319
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
901
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:30,621
None.
902
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:33,231
I can help you.
903
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:36,820
Why do you keep showing
up in my life?
904
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:40,503
Sounds like you need to come up
with a big idea for Big Fat Liar.
905
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:43,799
(SCOFFS)
What, some 10-year-old kid
906
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,831
is going to tell me how
to fix my entire movie?
907
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:51,345
First of all, I'm 14. Second
of all, I created the story.
908
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:54,825
You think I can't at least come
up with a few good twists?
909
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:58,159
No...
910
00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:03,307
You mean that this kid really
did write Big Fat Liar?
911
00:55:03,440 --> 00:55:06,399
No. He wrote a
little English paper
912
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:08,919
with the same title. Big deal.
913
00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:11,029
(STAMMERING)
914
00:55:15,240 --> 00:55:16,879
Don't do it, Jason.
915
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:20,079
Kid, I swear to you,
916
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:22,239
you get me out of this mess,
917
00:55:22,240 --> 00:55:25,839
and I'll tell your dad
you wrote Big Fat Liar,
918
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:29,781
Erin Brockovich and
Saving Private Ryan, too.
919
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:42,906
Ladies and gentlemen, friends,
920
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:47,159
if I could have your attention
for just a moment, please.
921
00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:49,359
You're all probably wondering
why I'm blue and orange.
922
00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:50,599
(CROWD LAUGHING)
923
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:52,599
No, just go with
me for a second.
924
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,426
You see, Big Fat Liar,
925
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:59,424
BFL, "Biffle," as it
has come to be known,
926
00:55:59,960 --> 00:56:02,959
is full of action,
romance, effects,
927
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:07,584
you bet. But what it lacks
right now is a message.
928
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:09,959
Trooper's girlfriend
makes a new potion.
929
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:14,504
Which is supposed to make him shrink, but
instead it causes him to change color.
930
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:16,261
Why?
931
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:17,945
Because now the twist is,
932
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:20,119
he can't lie about his
feelings anymore.
933
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:24,199
You see, his girlfriend, Penny,
she makes Trooper an antidote,
934
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:28,479
which, instead of curing him,
causes him to change colors.
935
00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:30,559
When he's bummed
out, he turns blue.
936
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:32,399
When he's depressed,
he turns blue.
937
00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:34,799
When he's mad, his
hair turns red.
938
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:37,262
When he's angry, boom,
939
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:40,799
his curly locks turn the color
of a flaming brushfire.
940
00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:43,999
But when he discovers
the ultimate truth,
941
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,559
that he's in love with Penny,
942
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:48,703
the softest shade of pink
943
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,439
finds it's way
across his visage.
944
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:53,469
I didn't tell him that.
945
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:56,159
What are you doing? You're
not listening to me.
946
00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:57,439
Just stick to the plan...
947
00:56:57,440 --> 00:56:58,901
(GROANS)
948
00:57:01,840 --> 00:57:06,464
I'm sorry. The emotions in this
movie are just so painful.
949
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:10,119
They're painful because
950
00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:14,266
they hit home right here,
in the old corazón.
951
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:17,799
Who among us hasn't told
a little white lie?
952
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:20,387
MAN: I have. Anybody else?
You?
953
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:21,861
MAN 2: Guilty. You?
954
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:25,999
It's all right, don't be ashamed.
I am right there with you.
955
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:28,667
I am right there with you.
956
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:32,980
Because our picture looks the
audience right in the eye,
957
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:36,304
and says, "Enough is enough!"
958
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:38,759
The lying has got to stop!
959
00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:43,999
The truth and the truth alone
shall set ye free! Friends!
960
00:57:44,000 --> 00:57:48,039
God bless all of you!
God bless America!
961
00:57:48,040 --> 00:57:52,119
And God bless Big Fat Liar!
962
00:57:52,120 --> 00:57:54,104
(CROWD CHEERING)
963
00:57:57,720 --> 00:57:59,431
Very impressive, Marty.
964
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,039
Does this mean that you
will approve the budget?
965
00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:04,159
You start shooting tomorrow.
That's great.
966
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:07,759
But if anything, and I
mean anything, goes wrong,
967
00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:10,984
your movie, your
deal at the studio,
968
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:13,542
and your career is over.
You hear me?
969
00:58:15,240 --> 00:58:16,559
Okay.
970
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:18,039
(EXCLAIMS)
971
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:19,319
(CHORTLES)
972
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:22,639
Shepherd, you are
a genius, buddy.
973
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:24,226
(EXCLAIMING)
974
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:26,079
Ready to make that call?
975
00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:27,999
Time to let my fingers
do the walking.
976
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:30,029
Here's my dad's phone number.
977
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:32,191
Daddy.
978
00:58:33,880 --> 00:58:35,750
(DIALING)
979
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:41,060
Hello, this is Marty Wolf.
980
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:45,585
I'm standing here in my
kitchen with Jason Shepherd.
981
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:48,783
I'm looking at him as we speak.
982
00:58:50,640 --> 00:58:52,430
And you better bring backup.
983
00:58:55,280 --> 00:58:57,639
Weren't you on the
phone with my dad?
984
00:58:57,640 --> 00:59:00,839
I was on the phone, but it
ain't with your old man.
985
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:03,319
You're a real piece of work.
Who are you?
986
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:05,839
Rocco Malone, head of
security at Wolf Pictures.
987
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:08,302
Thanks for all your help, kid.
988
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:11,829
Saving my butt twice in one
year. Who would have thunk it?
989
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:14,479
Let's go. You, too,
Punky Brewster.
990
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:17,319
You can't do this!
We have a witness!
991
00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:21,625
First lesson in Hollywood, sweetheart:
Always get it in writing!
992
00:59:23,680 --> 00:59:25,505
What a day.
993
00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:36,951
ROCCO: Here's the deal.
994
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:41,189
The two of you are going to
get on a plane, go back home,
995
00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:45,148
and forget this ever happened.
Clear?
996
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:53,986
Good. Let's go get you
two guys packed up.
997
00:59:54,160 --> 00:59:56,827
I can't believe we're
just going to give up.
998
00:59:57,440 --> 01:00:01,381
You're Jason Shepherd. You
can get out of anything.
999
01:00:02,560 --> 01:00:06,182
Come on. You must have a
Phase Four up your sleeve.
1000
01:00:09,360 --> 01:00:11,981
Yeah, I guess I do.
1001
01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:20,823
(DIALING CELL PHONE)
1002
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:29,039
HARRY: Hello? Dad, it's Jason.
1003
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:30,671
I haven't...
1004
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:36,191
I haven't been totally honest about what
I've been up to the last couple days.
1005
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:39,982
And I think it's time
I told you the truth.
1006
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:43,745
The truth?
1007
01:00:48,920 --> 01:00:50,381
Hey, Rocco.
1008
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:53,959
Hey.
1009
01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:57,959
Why don't you head home? I'll
take the kids to the airport.
1010
01:00:57,960 --> 01:00:59,279
You sure?
1011
01:00:59,280 --> 01:01:03,585
I'll be up all night rewriting Wolf's
script anyway, so it's no problem.
1012
01:01:03,920 --> 01:01:08,066
All right, then. I'm getting too
old for this babysitting anyway.
1013
01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:10,599
Take it easy. Good night.
1014
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:12,061
Good night.
1015
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:17,542
The worst part of this whole thing is, Wolf
is just going to keep getting away with it.
1016
01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:21,119
He treats people like dirt
and no one stands up to him!
1017
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:22,279
Forget it, Kaylee.
1018
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:24,759
I can't forget it!
It makes me sick
1019
01:01:24,760 --> 01:01:27,439
your parents will never
know you wrote that story!
1020
01:01:27,440 --> 01:01:31,745
What can we do? My parents will be here
in the morning! We tried everything!
1021
01:01:31,880 --> 01:01:34,799
It'd take an army to get
Wolf to admit the truth!
1022
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:38,070
I think I know where we
can find our troops.
1023
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:41,799
What are you doing here?
1024
01:01:41,800 --> 01:01:45,582
I've been pushed around
by Wolf for too long.
1025
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:48,904
Tomorrow, his whole
career is on the line.
1026
01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:53,306
So are you guys up
for one last fight?
1027
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:55,821
Jas?
1028
01:01:57,800 --> 01:01:59,784
It's payback time.
1029
01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:06,799
You gots to look good for
the first day of shooting.
1030
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:09,944
Do you copy that,
Mr. Funnybones?
1031
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:12,159
(IN HIGH VOICE)
That's a big 10-4, Marty.
1032
01:02:12,160 --> 01:02:13,700
(CHUCKLES)
1033
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:15,359
(WHOOPS)
1034
01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:18,519
I've brought you all here
tonight for two reasons.
1035
01:02:18,520 --> 01:02:21,479
A: You're all the best
in your given fields.
1036
01:02:21,480 --> 01:02:24,784
AND B: You all despise this man.
1037
01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:26,679
A lot.
1038
01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:30,780
Gang, let's roll up our
sleeves and get to work.
1039
01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:37,783
Let's begin. Assignments.
1040
01:02:37,840 --> 01:02:40,839
Red team, you stall him until
my parents get to the set.
1041
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:43,719
That's it. One more!
That's it!
1042
01:02:43,720 --> 01:02:47,502
Blue team, I need your help in
the distract and delay tactics.
1043
01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:50,359
Gold team, you are responsible
for mental warfare.
1044
01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:52,999
To get what we need,
we are talking
1045
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:56,399
complete physical and
psycho-emotional breakdown, people!
1046
01:02:56,400 --> 01:02:58,031
(EXCLAIMING)
1047
01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:00,343
I want to see a broken man.
1048
01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:04,868
I'm talking broken like, "I threw
a baseball through your window."
1049
01:03:04,880 --> 01:03:07,199
Snap him like a twig.
1050
01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:09,319
Squeeze him like a bug!
1051
01:03:09,320 --> 01:03:13,599
I want you to turn him into mincemeat!
And I don't even know what mincemeat is!
1052
01:03:13,600 --> 01:03:15,879
I want him to scream
for his mommy.
1053
01:03:15,880 --> 01:03:16,999
(SCREAMING)
1054
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:19,559
"Mommy! Mommy!" You
hear me, people?
1055
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:21,305
Do you read me?
1056
01:03:21,720 --> 01:03:24,182
I think they read you.
1057
01:03:24,720 --> 01:03:26,226
Fair enough.
1058
01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:27,599
JASON: Guys?
1059
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:29,584
I just got one thing to say.
1060
01:03:32,760 --> 01:03:34,585
It's showtime. It's showtime.
1061
01:03:39,080 --> 01:03:41,382
You from the studio? Yes, Sir.
1062
01:03:42,280 --> 01:03:44,559
Don't I know you?
Yeah, you do.
1063
01:03:44,560 --> 01:03:48,079
Frank Jackson. I was your driver
last year till you fired me.
1064
01:03:48,080 --> 01:03:50,064
Fabulous!
1065
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:53,919
The acting career must really
be taking off. Bravo, Brando.
1066
01:03:53,920 --> 01:03:55,239
Get moving. I don't
want to be late.
1067
01:03:55,240 --> 01:03:56,399
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
1068
01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:58,384
MARTY: Monty, it's me.
1069
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:01,985
Hey, Marty. You get some
rest for the big day?
1070
01:04:02,080 --> 01:04:06,599
Are you kidding me? I spent half the night
with a scrub brush and a can of turpentine.
1071
01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:10,063
But, bye-bye, Little Boy Blue!
I am back!
1072
01:04:10,120 --> 01:04:11,279
Hey!
1073
01:04:11,280 --> 01:04:14,679
Pedal to the metal, Ricky
Retardo! I got a movie to shoot!
1074
01:04:14,680 --> 01:04:16,106
(CAR RATTLING)
1075
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:19,903
Sorry, Sir. There seems to be
something wrong with the car.
1076
01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:25,941
(SIGHS)
1077
01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:29,431
I'll fix it.
1078
01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:34,421
Hot smoke. Very hot smoke.
1079
01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:36,660
(BLOWING)
1080
01:04:37,999 --> 01:04:39,279
What the hell is happening here?
1081
01:04:39,280 --> 01:04:40,519
Stay right there.
1082
01:04:40,520 --> 01:04:44,461
No, Mr. Wolf, don't come up
here. We have a situation.
1083
01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:49,799
The carbide lateral valve is connected
to the defibrillator and it's acting up.
1084
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:51,799
The point is, it
could blow anytime.
1085
01:04:51,800 --> 01:04:53,719
You might want to back up.
Back up.
1086
01:04:53,720 --> 01:04:55,624
What are you saying?
1087
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:57,799
The engine's fried. I
need a backup car.
1088
01:04:57,800 --> 01:05:02,159
Are you kidding me? My movie
starts shooting in an hour!
1089
01:05:02,160 --> 01:05:06,159
Mr. Wolf, please, I would very much
appreciate it if you didn't yell at me, okay?
1090
01:05:06,160 --> 01:05:07,319
Mmm-mmm.
1091
01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:09,319
I want to do right. Don't.
1092
01:05:09,320 --> 01:05:13,147
Don't touch, dude!
Do not touch!
1093
01:05:13,160 --> 01:05:14,791
Don't.
1094
01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:16,981
Hey!
1095
01:05:17,680 --> 01:05:18,999
Everything okay here?
1096
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:22,679
Urkel. Jaleel. Oh, my God.
My man.
1097
01:05:22,680 --> 01:05:25,319
You got to get me
out of here, buddy.
1098
01:05:25,320 --> 01:05:26,985
Hop in.
1099
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:29,999
No! Mr. Wolf, please.
Mr. Wolf, no.
1100
01:05:30,000 --> 01:05:32,906
Could you unlock it?
1101
01:05:34,000 --> 01:05:36,667
No! Mr. Wolf, please! Drive.
1102
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:38,311
Sayonara, loser!
1103
01:05:41,200 --> 01:05:43,104
(SOBBING)
1104
01:05:45,360 --> 01:05:49,759
F-Man to J-Dog. The
Baton has been passed.
1105
01:05:49,760 --> 01:05:51,824
JASON: Roger that, F-Man.
Well done.
1106
01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:57,186
Who's a bad actor now, Mr. Wolf?
Those were real tears!
1107
01:05:57,320 --> 01:05:59,429
K-Bird, the Baton
has been passed.
1108
01:06:00,320 --> 01:06:01,985
Got it!
1109
01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:08,799
Nice car!
1110
01:06:08,800 --> 01:06:13,503
TV money! I didn't wear those glasses and
suspenders all those years for free!
1111
01:06:14,240 --> 01:06:17,719
That's a relief. Do you
know where you're going?
1112
01:06:17,720 --> 01:06:19,039
I'm taking a shortcut.
1113
01:06:19,040 --> 01:06:23,629
Put your seat back and relax, old
man. You're in Jaleel's hands now.
1114
01:06:23,920 --> 01:06:25,381
Okay.
1115
01:06:25,400 --> 01:06:26,559
(WHOOPS)
1116
01:06:26,560 --> 01:06:28,559
MARTY: You're going to fishtail!
1117
01:06:28,560 --> 01:06:30,039
That was close.
1118
01:06:30,040 --> 01:06:31,421
(WHOOPING)
1119
01:06:37,560 --> 01:06:39,385
JALEEL: Yeah, baby!
1120
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:42,479
Where in the hell
are you taking me?
1121
01:06:42,480 --> 01:06:44,039
I told you. I know a shortcut.
1122
01:06:44,040 --> 01:06:45,519
Through the desert?
1123
01:06:45,520 --> 01:06:47,919
Slow down, you maniac!
I'm getting out!
1124
01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:49,159
It's your call.
1125
01:06:49,160 --> 01:06:50,839
I'll do it. Do what
you got to do!
1126
01:06:50,840 --> 01:06:51,919
I'm getting out!
1127
01:06:51,920 --> 01:06:53,301
Go!
1128
01:06:54,080 --> 01:06:56,269
(EXCLAIMING IN PAIN)
1129
01:06:58,920 --> 01:07:00,585
Not bad.
1130
01:07:01,120 --> 01:07:03,229
Yo, Jaleel at the wheel.
1131
01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:05,199
The condor has flown the Coop.
1132
01:07:05,200 --> 01:07:08,439
Roger, J-Dub. Wait.
What does that mean?
1133
01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:12,599
It means I'm leaving Wolf in the
middle of the desert. Urkel is out.
1134
01:07:12,600 --> 01:07:13,981
(WHOOPS)
1135
01:07:33,920 --> 01:07:35,631
(GRUNTS)
1136
01:07:51,520 --> 01:07:53,159
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1137
01:07:53,160 --> 01:07:54,479
Hello?
1138
01:07:54,480 --> 01:07:56,748
Monty, it's me.
1139
01:07:57,040 --> 01:07:59,820
Hey, Marty. Is
everything okay?
1140
01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:03,622
No, no, everything is fine.
Except...
1141
01:08:03,840 --> 01:08:06,791
Yeah, I'm stuck in the
middle of the desert!
1142
01:08:06,840 --> 01:08:08,999
Do you hear what I
am saying to you?
1143
01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:10,079
The what?
1144
01:08:10,080 --> 01:08:11,620
The desert.
1145
01:08:11,680 --> 01:08:14,301
Get me out of here. How?
1146
01:08:14,360 --> 01:08:18,301
I don't care how, Monty!
Just do it!
1147
01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:26,502
Ready to go wolf hunting?
1148
01:08:36,560 --> 01:08:38,942
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)
1149
01:09:11,560 --> 01:09:14,919
I borrowed the chopper from the
shoot. You're in good hands.
1150
01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:17,559
I flew 49 combat
missions in Vietnam.
1151
01:09:17,560 --> 01:09:21,069
Save me the sob
story, Methuselah!
1152
01:09:21,080 --> 01:09:23,399
I already sat through Platoon!
1153
01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:26,067
Just get me to the set.
1154
01:09:29,200 --> 01:09:30,581
(LAUGHING)
1155
01:09:37,440 --> 01:09:39,559
This is Father Time.
We're headed your way.
1156
01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:41,021
Roger, F.T.
1157
01:09:43,080 --> 01:09:45,382
They're airborne. Copy that.
1158
01:09:47,240 --> 01:09:51,439
Let's punch a hole in the
sky, grandpa! Go! Go! Go!
1159
01:09:51,440 --> 01:09:53,071
(YELLING)
1160
01:09:53,240 --> 01:09:56,079
Let's get a tail wind behind
this bird, old-timer!
1161
01:09:56,080 --> 01:09:58,348
Go, go, go!
1162
01:10:02,880 --> 01:10:07,026
Brando to Base. The sheep has located
the Shepherds and we're coming home.
1163
01:10:07,360 --> 01:10:08,661
Yes!
1164
01:10:19,120 --> 01:10:21,388
(BEEPING)
1165
01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:23,625
Oh, boy.
1166
01:10:23,800 --> 01:10:26,626
What's that? What's happening?
1167
01:10:28,960 --> 01:10:32,787
One of our blades is jammed! We're
going to have to do a forced evac!
1168
01:10:33,480 --> 01:10:35,623
What are you talking about?
1169
01:10:37,920 --> 01:10:41,144
We got to jump! This
bird is going down!
1170
01:10:41,640 --> 01:10:43,021
Vince.
1171
01:10:46,480 --> 01:10:47,781
Vince?
1172
01:10:50,320 --> 01:10:51,839
Are you kidding me?
1173
01:10:51,840 --> 01:10:53,630
No, but I wish I was.
1174
01:10:53,840 --> 01:10:56,679
You'll have to hold on tight.
We've only got one chute.
1175
01:10:56,680 --> 01:10:58,823
I hope it supports us both.
1176
01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:03,559
Wait a minute.
This is insanity!
1177
01:11:03,560 --> 01:11:06,119
Vince, have you
done this before?
1178
01:11:06,120 --> 01:11:08,759
Don't worry, Wolf,
I'm a professional.
1179
01:11:08,760 --> 01:11:12,746
Granddad's been doing
this a long, long time.
1180
01:11:13,200 --> 01:11:15,787
(SCREAMING)
1181
01:11:18,200 --> 01:11:21,071
(BEEPING)
1182
01:11:25,760 --> 01:11:28,381
This is Chopper One to Control.
1183
01:11:28,480 --> 01:11:31,181
Papa Bear and the Wolf
have left the building.
1184
01:11:38,080 --> 01:11:39,745
Not like this!
1185
01:11:39,760 --> 01:11:42,839
Sweet God, not like this!
1186
01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:44,744
(SCREAMING)
1187
01:11:56,840 --> 01:11:58,346
Hello, Sir.
1188
01:11:58,440 --> 01:11:59,980
Where's Wolf?
1189
01:12:00,360 --> 01:12:01,821
Late.
1190
01:12:02,280 --> 01:12:03,627
Bad.
1191
01:12:26,240 --> 01:12:27,780
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
1192
01:12:31,760 --> 01:12:32,839
Hello?
1193
01:12:32,840 --> 01:12:36,144
I'm on the lot, Monty!
I'll be there in a minute!
1194
01:12:36,160 --> 01:12:37,439
Marty.
1195
01:12:37,440 --> 01:12:41,519
I'm not lying. Stall Duncan
another second, okay? I'm coming.
1196
01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:42,639
Hey, Wolf.
1197
01:12:42,640 --> 01:12:44,544
How's it hanging, Shepherd?
1198
01:12:58,640 --> 01:13:00,066
(SQUEAKS)
1199
01:13:01,880 --> 01:13:03,306
(GASPS)
1200
01:13:09,280 --> 01:13:11,389
Give me back my monkey.
1201
01:13:11,520 --> 01:13:13,060
Come get him.
1202
01:13:26,600 --> 01:13:29,107
You two, good-bye!
1203
01:13:30,120 --> 01:13:31,879
I'm coming, Funnybones!
1204
01:13:31,880 --> 01:13:33,750
(EXCLAIMING)
1205
01:13:43,480 --> 01:13:44,919
Coming through!
1206
01:13:44,920 --> 01:13:46,199
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
1207
01:13:46,200 --> 01:13:47,501
Move it!
1208
01:13:47,720 --> 01:13:50,182
(CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYING)
1209
01:13:56,720 --> 01:13:58,181
(CHORTLING)
1210
01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:01,465
Look out!
1211
01:14:04,000 --> 01:14:05,631
Come on!
1212
01:14:09,000 --> 01:14:11,621
Right behind you, Shepherd!
1213
01:14:26,600 --> 01:14:29,159
You can't outrun the Wolf, kid!
1214
01:14:29,160 --> 01:14:31,144
We'll see about that.
1215
01:14:32,880 --> 01:14:35,759
Hang on, Funnybones!
Daddy's coming!
1216
01:14:35,760 --> 01:14:37,903
He's all yours, Lester.
1217
01:14:40,360 --> 01:14:42,310
Activate water.
1218
01:14:46,320 --> 01:14:48,031
(SCREAMING)
1219
01:14:53,320 --> 01:14:56,703
Who's the geek boy
now, you spaz?
1220
01:15:03,560 --> 01:15:07,865
This is it, Monty. If he's not here
in 60 seconds, this movie is over.
1221
01:15:07,880 --> 01:15:10,706
Right there is where the
big stunt is taking place.
1222
01:15:13,160 --> 01:15:14,825
This way.
1223
01:15:29,440 --> 01:15:32,266
(IN HIGH VOICE) Help.
Come and rescue me, Marty.
1224
01:15:35,920 --> 01:15:38,063
Feets, don't fail me now.
1225
01:15:44,560 --> 01:15:47,101
(ROARING)
1226
01:15:48,840 --> 01:15:50,744
(BOTH GRUNT)
1227
01:16:00,480 --> 01:16:01,986
(SQUEAKS)
1228
01:16:03,160 --> 01:16:04,586
(GRUNTS)
1229
01:16:15,520 --> 01:16:18,039
Let go of the monkey.
1230
01:16:18,040 --> 01:16:19,159
Call my dad.
1231
01:16:19,160 --> 01:16:20,985
Never. Yes.
1232
01:16:21,280 --> 01:16:23,105
No!
1233
01:16:23,960 --> 01:16:28,743
That's it, kid. It's over!
You lose and I win!
1234
01:16:28,800 --> 01:16:30,199
I don't think so, Wolf.
1235
01:16:30,200 --> 01:16:32,264
You don't think so?
1236
01:16:32,280 --> 01:16:35,424
Come on, Jason. You're
smarter than that.
1237
01:16:35,480 --> 01:16:37,799
You write a story, I steal it,
1238
01:16:37,800 --> 01:16:41,559
and I'm about to shoot the
greatest movie of my career.
1239
01:16:41,560 --> 01:16:43,799
So, you admit you
stole my story?
1240
01:16:43,800 --> 01:16:46,479
We've been over this.
It's ancient history.
1241
01:16:46,480 --> 01:16:48,279
Yeah, I stole your story!
1242
01:16:48,280 --> 01:16:50,079
Whoop-Dee-doodle-doo!
1243
01:16:50,080 --> 01:16:51,639
You happy now?
1244
01:16:51,640 --> 01:16:56,787
I stole Jason Shepherd's paper
and turned it into Big Fat Liar!
1245
01:16:56,960 --> 01:17:00,264
You know who's listening, pal?
No one.
1246
01:17:00,360 --> 01:17:02,199
And they never will.
1247
01:17:02,200 --> 01:17:07,279
So, for the last time, give it up.
Because I will never, ever, ever,
1248
01:17:07,280 --> 01:17:10,424
like, never, ever, ever, ever,
1249
01:17:10,640 --> 01:17:13,591
ever infinity tell the truth.
1250
01:17:14,160 --> 01:17:15,679
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
1251
01:17:15,680 --> 01:17:17,519
Because the truth is
overrated, right?
1252
01:17:17,520 --> 01:17:20,061
That's right! MAN: And cut.
1253
01:17:40,280 --> 01:17:42,719
I told you, Wolf. The only
way to shoot this scene
1254
01:17:42,720 --> 01:17:46,919
is from 12 different camera
angles, with birds flying around.
1255
01:17:46,920 --> 01:17:48,399
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
1256
01:17:48,400 --> 01:17:50,039
By the by,
1257
01:17:50,040 --> 01:17:52,866
Confucius say, "Kastang!"
1258
01:17:52,880 --> 01:17:54,670
"You're busted!"
1259
01:17:57,720 --> 01:17:59,260
Rock and roll, baby.
1260
01:18:09,880 --> 01:18:12,501
It's just like you wanted, Wolf!
1261
01:18:12,720 --> 01:18:15,864
The press is all here!
1262
01:18:42,760 --> 01:18:46,667
You stole the idea for this
movie from a 13-year-old boy?
1263
01:18:46,760 --> 01:18:48,744
Well, he's...
1264
01:18:50,120 --> 01:18:52,070
He's 14.
1265
01:18:52,120 --> 01:18:55,902
This is the end of the
line, Wolf. It's over.
1266
01:19:05,080 --> 01:19:06,586
(GRUNTS)
1267
01:19:07,800 --> 01:19:10,580
Wolf, I want to say thanks.
1268
01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:13,102
You taught me a valuable lesson.
1269
01:19:13,440 --> 01:19:15,105
The truth?
1270
01:19:15,120 --> 01:19:17,104
It's not overrated.
1271
01:19:18,240 --> 01:19:20,463
(SCOFFING)
1272
01:19:24,120 --> 01:19:27,629
I am going to get you, Shepherd!
1273
01:19:32,360 --> 01:19:33,866
(JASON SCREAMING)
1274
01:19:34,240 --> 01:19:35,951
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
1275
01:19:45,640 --> 01:19:47,159
(PEOPLE GASPING)
1276
01:19:47,160 --> 01:19:48,825
(CROWD CLAPPING)
1277
01:19:59,160 --> 01:20:01,679
You did all this just to
prove you weren't lying?
1278
01:20:01,680 --> 01:20:04,142
I wanted to earn your
trust back, Dad.
1279
01:20:04,840 --> 01:20:07,905
You've earned it, buddy.
You've earned it.
1280
01:20:16,200 --> 01:20:17,786
(MARTY SHOUTS)
1281
01:20:20,040 --> 01:20:22,039
We've got a movie to shoot!
1282
01:20:22,040 --> 01:20:24,661
Come on! Let's
make some magic.
1283
01:20:24,880 --> 01:20:27,599
The human hit factory
is ready to roll!
1284
01:20:27,600 --> 01:20:29,140
(SNICKERS)
1285
01:20:29,360 --> 01:20:31,025
Let's go.
1286
01:20:31,440 --> 01:20:33,742
Where do you think you're going?
1287
01:20:34,200 --> 01:20:37,663
You cannot turn
your backs on me!
1288
01:20:37,720 --> 01:20:39,510
I'm Marty Wolf!
1289
01:20:39,880 --> 01:20:42,342
All right, fine! Fine!
1290
01:20:43,040 --> 01:20:44,719
You're all fired!
1291
01:20:44,720 --> 01:20:46,704
MAN: You suck, Marty.
1292
01:21:12,280 --> 01:21:16,107
You certainly know how
to make an entrance.
1293
01:21:16,280 --> 01:21:18,105
What can I say?
1294
01:21:18,440 --> 01:21:19,639
I got big feet.
1295
01:21:19,640 --> 01:21:21,066
(GIGGLES)
1296
01:21:21,800 --> 01:21:26,424
You were right, Penny. The
truth? It's not overrated.
1297
01:21:27,120 --> 01:21:29,309
(APPLAUSE)
1298
01:21:53,840 --> 01:21:55,665
(WHOOPS)
1299
01:22:00,600 --> 01:22:02,231
(EXCLAIMING)
1300
01:22:04,320 --> 01:22:06,907
Congratulations.
It was incredible.
1301
01:22:21,520 --> 01:22:23,106
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1302
01:22:25,360 --> 01:22:27,503
It's showtime.
1303
01:22:31,200 --> 01:22:34,119
Hey, kids. I'm
Wolfie the Clown.
1304
01:22:34,120 --> 01:22:35,501
(WHOOPS)
1305
01:22:35,720 --> 01:22:40,025
(IN HIGH VOICE) And I'm Mr. Funnybones!
Happy Birthday, Darren.
1306
01:22:40,920 --> 01:22:42,959
Oh, my God!
1307
01:22:42,960 --> 01:22:44,359
Oh, no.
1308
01:22:44,360 --> 01:22:46,199
Yo, Little Mash, show
him your nutcracker.
1309
01:22:46,200 --> 01:22:47,679
(SCREAMING)
1310
01:22:47,680 --> 01:22:49,519
(KIDS CHEERING)
1311
01:22:49,520 --> 01:22:51,185
(YELLING)
1312
01:22:52,200 --> 01:22:53,359
(THUDDING)
1313
01:22:53,360 --> 01:22:55,025
(KIDS SIGH)