1 00:00:05,929 --> 00:00:10,681 Encoded by Judas Enjoy! 2 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,177 Hi. Welcome to the future. 3 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:20,681 San Dimas, California, 2688, 4 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:23,183 and l'm telling you, it's great here. 5 00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:25,769 The air is clean. The water's clean. 6 00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:28,730 Even the dirt is clean. 7 00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:30,691 Bowling averages are way up. 8 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:33,068 Mini-golf scores are way down. 9 00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,445 And we have more excellent water slides 10 00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:38,198 than any other planet we communicate with. 11 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:41,243 l'm telling you this place is great. 12 00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,036 But it almost wasn't. 13 00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:49,042 You see, 700 years ago, the two great ones ran into a few problems. 14 00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:52,129 So now l have to travel back in time to help them out. 15 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,716 lf l should fail to keep these two on the correct path, 16 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,968 the basis of our society will be in danger. 17 00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:01,054 Don't worry, it'll all make sense. l'm a professional. 18 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:04,933 l'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire. 19 00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,602 And l'm Ted "Theo..." 20 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,772 - Bill, here, you take it. - OK. 21 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:18,280 - And l'm Ted "Theodore" Logan. - Yeah! 22 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:27,122 And we're Wyld Stallyns! 23 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:39,468 Let's bail. 24 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,938 We blew it. 25 00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:53,941 Guess we used too much power. 26 00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:56,109 l liked it. 27 00:03:57,153 --> 00:04:02,950 Ted, while l agree that in time our band will be most triumphant, 28 00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:06,036 the truth is, Wyld Stallyns will never be a super band 29 00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:08,247 until we have Eddie Van Halen on guitar. 30 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:12,668 Yes, Bill, but... l do not believe we will get Eddie Van Halen 31 00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:14,503 until we have a triumphant video. 32 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,339 Ted, it's pointless to have a triumphant video 33 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:20,175 before we even have decent instruments. 34 00:04:20,343 --> 00:04:23,387 How can we have decent instruments when we really don't know how to play? 35 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:26,139 That is why we need Eddie Van Halen. 36 00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:29,184 And that is why we need a triumphant video. 37 00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:32,646 - Excellent! - Excellent! 38 00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:37,359 Uh-oh. 39 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,319 - We're late. - For what? 40 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:42,239 - For school, dude. - Oh, yeah. 41 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,375 Bill, l'm waiting. 42 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:58,463 He's dead? 43 00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:01,049 So Bill, what you're telling me, essentially, 44 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:06,221 is that Napoleon was a short, dead dude. 45 00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:09,057 Well, yeah. 46 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,727 You totally blew it, dude. 47 00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:14,021 - Ted, stand up. - Stand up? 48 00:05:14,188 --> 00:05:15,647 Yes, son, stand up. 49 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:21,903 Now... who was Joan ofArc? 50 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,908 Noah's wife? 51 00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:34,750 Listen guys, don't forget, tomorrow, final report, 1 :30 to 3:30, OK? 52 00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:42,174 Hey, guys. 53 00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:48,638 Mr. Ryan, before you say anything, 54 00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:54,102 my distinguished colleague Ted and l wish to express to you our thanks 55 00:05:54,270 --> 00:05:56,688 for all the things we have learned in your class. 56 00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:58,940 And what have you learned? 57 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,695 We have, uh... 58 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:06,782 We've learned that the world has a great history. 59 00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:10,952 Yes, and that thanks to great leaders 60 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,039 such as... Genghis Khan, 61 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,792 Joan ofArc, and Socratic Method, 62 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:21,046 the world is... full of history. 63 00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:25,967 lt seems to me that the only thing you have learned 64 00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:31,848 is that Caesar... is a salad dressing dude. 65 00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:35,477 Bill, Ted, this is really quite simple. 66 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,854 You have flunked every section of this class. 67 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:43,068 Now unless you get an A-plus on your final oral report tomorrow... 68 00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:47,280 ...guys, l have no choice but to flunk the both of you. 69 00:06:48,324 --> 00:06:51,785 Now you know your topics, so l would suggest that you at least 70 00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:56,081 cover those areas if you want to pass the course. 71 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,042 - Understand? - Yes, sir. 72 00:06:59,627 --> 00:07:00,877 OK. 73 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,381 Guys. 74 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:09,344 Your report had better be something very special. 75 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:13,515 Ah, man. 76 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,854 Well, what are we supposed to know for our report? 77 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:20,147 l'm not sure. 78 00:07:20,314 --> 00:07:23,567 One thing l know is that Joan ofArc is not Noah's wife. 79 00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:26,570 Well then, who is Noah's wife? 80 00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:28,321 l don't know, Ted. 81 00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:31,283 But l do know we're in serious trouble. 82 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,660 Listen to this: 83 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:36,830 "Express to the class how an important historical figure 84 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:42,502 from each of your time periods would view the world of San Dimas, 1988." 85 00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:47,591 We're in danger of flunking most heinously tomorrow, Ted. 86 00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:50,594 Hi, Bill. Want a ride? 87 00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:51,761 Sure, Missy. 88 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,181 l mean, Mom. 89 00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:59,436 - Your stepmom's cute. - Shut up, Ted. 90 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,313 Remember when she was a senior and we were freshmen? 91 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,856 Shut up, Ted! 92 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,157 l'll be right back, as soon as l get my books. 93 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,920 Ted. 94 00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:27,589 What are you doing home, Dad? 95 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,633 - l'm looking for my keys. - Oh. 96 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,760 You haven't done anything with them, have you? 97 00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:34,429 No, sir. 98 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,765 l spoke to your principal today, Ted. 99 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,725 He said you're failing history. 100 00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,727 - Me and Bill... - He also said 101 00:08:40,895 --> 00:08:43,480 that if you fail history, you flunk out of school. 102 00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:47,442 You know what that would mean, don't you, Ted? 103 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:51,613 That l would have to go to Oates Military Academy, sir. 104 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:55,116 Uh-huh. l spoke to Colonel Oates this morning. 105 00:08:57,495 --> 00:09:00,455 He's anxious to meet you, Ted. 106 00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:19,516 Dude, we gotta pass. Otherwise there's no more band. 107 00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:20,850 Why? 108 00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:23,895 My dad's sending me to military school. 109 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,647 Where? 110 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,483 Alaska. 111 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,319 Alaska... 112 00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:39,327 lt is time. 113 00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:42,372 Their separation is imminent. 114 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,945 Be excellent to each other. 115 00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:17,657 Party on, dude. 116 00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:48,104 OK, Ted. George Washington. 117 00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,607 One: the father of our country. 118 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,568 Two: born on President's Day. 119 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,571 Three: the dollar bill guy. 120 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:58,490 Bill, you ever made a mushroom out of his head? 121 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,909 Ted... Alaska. 122 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:06,414 OK. Um... 123 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,959 Had wooden teeth, chased Moby Dick. 124 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,254 That's Captain Ahab, dude. 125 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:18,760 Oh, wait. Remember Disney World, the Hall of Presidents? 126 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,762 Yeah, good, what'd he say? 127 00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:24,307 "Welcome to the Hall of Presidents." 128 00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,812 Hi, l brought you guys some food. 129 00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:42,450 lt's your mom, dude! 130 00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,744 How's it going, guys? 131 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,414 Bad! 132 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:51,459 We are destined to flunk most egregiously tomorrow. 133 00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:56,548 And l am destined to end up at Oates Military Academy. 134 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,134 And then we will never start our band. 135 00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:04,431 Good. 136 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,230 - What are you guys studying anyway? - History. 137 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,315 - Mr. Ryan? - Uh-huh. 138 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:16,443 Tell him, "hi." 139 00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:19,696 Why don't you guys take a dinner break? 140 00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,157 Thanks, Dad. 141 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:39,716 Now your dad's going for it... in your own room! 142 00:12:39,884 --> 00:12:41,676 Shut up, Ted. 143 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:44,846 - Your stepmom is cute, though. - Shut up, Ted. 144 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,431 Remember when l asked her to the prom? 145 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,183 Shut up, Ted! 146 00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:54,647 Twelve-seventy-five, 1275, 1275... 147 00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:59,235 OK, the lady in that car over there 148 00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:03,072 said that Marco Polo was in the year 1275. 149 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,867 So it's notjust a water sport, l knew it. 150 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,538 Excuse me, when did the Mongols rule China? 151 00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:13,416 l don't know. l just work here. 152 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,590 Well, you wanna try the Thrifty Mart? 153 00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:21,716 Sure. 154 00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:38,650 Whoa! 155 00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:45,865 Not bad. 156 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,747 Greetings, my excellent friends. 157 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,543 Do you know when the Mongols ruled China? 158 00:13:56,710 --> 00:14:00,922 Well... perhaps we could ask them. 159 00:14:04,134 --> 00:14:07,136 Bill S. Preston, Esquire... 160 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,765 ...and Ted "Theodore" Logan. 161 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:15,353 Gentlemen, l'm here to help you with your history report. 162 00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:17,438 What? 163 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:18,940 How? 164 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:21,776 Whoa! 165 00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:23,862 - Whoo! - l hate that part. 166 00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:27,282 - Bill? - What? 167 00:14:27,449 --> 00:14:31,035 Strange things are afoot at the Circle K. 168 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:39,460 Dudes, you guys are gonna go back in time. 169 00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:40,587 Yeah! 170 00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:44,883 You are going to have a most excellent adventure through history. 171 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:48,553 - Who are you guys? - We're you, dude! 172 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:52,432 No way. No way! 173 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,810 - Yes way, Ted! - Look, we know how you feel. 174 00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:58,187 We didn't believe it either when we were you 175 00:14:58,355 --> 00:15:01,107 and we-us said what we-us are saying right now. 176 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:05,987 OK wait, if you guys are really us... 177 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,324 ...what number are we thinking of? 178 00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:12,535 Sixty-nine, dudes! 179 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,622 Whoa! 180 00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:21,127 Look, we've gotta go. 181 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:24,005 Yeah, we gotta get back to the report. 182 00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,840 Rufus! 183 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,719 Listen to this dude, Rufus. He knows what he's talking about. 184 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:33,598 Right. Oh, and Ted, give my love to the princesses. 185 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:37,143 - Who? - You'll see. 186 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,647 Gentleman... is everything all right? 187 00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:43,524 Yeah, except, how come... 188 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:47,278 Ted, don't forget to wind your watch! 189 00:15:49,573 --> 00:15:51,783 Thanks, Rufus. 190 00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:55,370 Catch ya later, Bill and Ted. 191 00:16:07,007 --> 00:16:09,759 Dude, are you sure we should be doing this? 192 00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:13,888 Ted, you and l have witnessed many things, 193 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:18,017 but nothing as bodacious as whatjust happened. 194 00:16:18,185 --> 00:16:20,561 Besides we told ourselves to listen to this guy. 195 00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:23,564 What ifwe were lying? 196 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,152 Why would we lie to ourselves? 197 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,743 How are you gonna help us? 198 00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:38,287 Yeah, are you gonna call someone and get the answers? 199 00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:40,790 Gentlemen, we're gonna do a lot more than that. 200 00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:46,421 Whoa. Excellent. 201 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,925 Brace yourselves, amigos. 202 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,102 Gentlemen... 203 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,230 ...we're history. 204 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:16,200 Rufus, where are we, dude? 205 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,120 These are the circuits of history, gentlemen. 206 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,914 They'll take us to any point in time we wish. 207 00:17:22,082 --> 00:17:23,958 How? 208 00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,627 Modern technology, William. 209 00:17:26,795 --> 00:17:29,130 Whoa! 210 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:48,441 - That was most unprecedented, Rufus. - Yeah. 211 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:51,944 But where are we, Rufus? 212 00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:58,159 Austria, 1805, the French have just invaded. 213 00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:03,581 Bill, check it out! 214 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,834 We're in the middle of a war, dude! 215 00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:22,100 Amigos, time to depart. 216 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,521 How's it going, dude? 217 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:02,557 Now where are we, dude? 218 00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:05,726 Oh, it's my house. 219 00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:10,398 Rufus, can we go anywhere we want, at any time? 220 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:13,693 Gentlemen, you can do anything you want, as long as you remember this: 221 00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:17,905 no matter what happens, you must get to that report. Got it? 222 00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:21,617 All right, amigos, that book will give you the number 223 00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:26,247 of any place you want to go. Now, most important, 224 00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:29,000 no matter what you do, no matter where you go, 225 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:34,797 that clock, the clock in San Dimas, is always running. Got it? 226 00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:38,217 - Yeah. - All right, time for me to go. 227 00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:39,844 What do you mean, Rufus? 228 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,762 Yeah, aren't you coming with us? 229 00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:44,765 Gentlemen, you're on your own. 230 00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:01,991 - Ted? - What? 231 00:20:02,159 --> 00:20:04,827 This has been a most unusual day. 232 00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:17,548 - Ted, it's Napoleon. - Who? 233 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:20,635 The short, dead dude from our history review. 234 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:24,096 Ted, l have a most excellent idea. 235 00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:26,557 Grab his legs, we gotta get him inside. 236 00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:31,062 l think l've figured out a way to pass our report. 237 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,313 How? 238 00:20:32,481 --> 00:20:34,607 Well, we've got one historical figure here. 239 00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:36,984 Maybe we can go back and get some more. 240 00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:38,361 Yeah! 241 00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:41,864 Deacon, you have to watch this guy. 242 00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:46,535 His name is Napoleon. He's a very famous French dude. 243 00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:49,372 We have decided to collect other important figures from history 244 00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:51,290 for an oral report we are doing. 245 00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:54,877 While we are gone, you are not to let him out of your sight. 246 00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:56,921 Here is some money. 247 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,006 Take him to the movies or something. 248 00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:10,518 Napoleon, l am Bill. 249 00:21:12,145 --> 00:21:15,314 We'll take you back to France after you tell us what you think of San Dimas. 250 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,943 - This is Ted's little brother, Deacon. - Hi. 251 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,611 He'll take care of you. 252 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,659 - Ready, Ted? - Ready, Bill. 253 00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:31,080 Let's go back into history. 254 00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:36,294 This should be most triumphant. 255 00:21:37,587 --> 00:21:39,171 l want to speak with you, son. 256 00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:42,383 Alone please, Bill. 257 00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:46,762 All right, sit down. 258 00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:52,101 What am l gonna do with you? You can't... 259 00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:53,352 Great. 260 00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:56,772 You lose my keys. You fail history. 261 00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:58,774 You spend all your time with your loser friend 262 00:21:58,942 --> 00:22:00,860 planning a band that'll never happen. 263 00:22:01,028 --> 00:22:03,362 Now you're not to leave this house again until tomorrow morning. 264 00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:10,369 - Yes? - Captain Logan? 265 00:22:10,537 --> 00:22:13,748 This is Deputy Van Halen down at the station. 266 00:22:13,915 --> 00:22:15,041 Deputy Van Halen? 267 00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:21,881 l'm new, dude... sir. 268 00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:24,717 Look, we found your keys, 269 00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:28,596 and if you want 'em, you better come and get 'em. 270 00:22:31,641 --> 00:22:35,269 When l get back from the station, l want you packed and ready to go. 271 00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:36,437 Got it? 272 00:22:43,695 --> 00:22:45,571 We are in serious trouble. 273 00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:48,949 My dad already signed me up, my plane leaves tomorrow night. 274 00:22:49,951 --> 00:22:52,078 Only ifwe fail, dude. 275 00:22:56,541 --> 00:22:58,125 No way! 276 00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:03,464 OK, we got Sigmund Freud, Beethoven... Uh... 277 00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:08,010 ls there one for Western Movement in America in the 19th Century? 278 00:23:09,179 --> 00:23:10,304 Yeah. 279 00:23:10,472 --> 00:23:12,014 Well then... 280 00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:15,768 ...let's reach out and touch someone. 281 00:24:05,193 --> 00:24:07,027 How's it going, Old West Dude? 282 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:12,199 Hey, Bill, this is just like Frontierland. 283 00:24:12,367 --> 00:24:14,702 Yeah, but you can get shot here, Ted. 284 00:24:14,870 --> 00:24:16,203 Oh. 285 00:24:16,371 --> 00:24:19,039 - Just try to act natural. - OK. 286 00:24:22,752 --> 00:24:24,295 - Howdy, partner. - Howdy. 287 00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,088 Watch out for the horse crap, Ted. 288 00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:28,340 Ugh. Thanks, dude. 289 00:24:28,508 --> 00:24:30,759 - Hey, Bill, l'm totally thirsty. - Me too. 290 00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:47,943 Two beers, please. 291 00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,910 Whoa! He didn't even card us, dude! 292 00:24:56,077 --> 00:24:58,746 Yeah, we have to remember this place. 293 00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:07,254 So, who should we take with us? 294 00:25:18,433 --> 00:25:20,976 - Who's he? - He's Billy the Kid. 295 00:25:22,479 --> 00:25:25,940 He's famous, dude. Let's bag him. 296 00:25:29,027 --> 00:25:30,903 l need two men. 297 00:25:32,447 --> 00:25:33,781 Who's with me? 298 00:25:34,658 --> 00:25:36,367 We're with you, Billy the Kid. 299 00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:50,297 Here's the deal. What l win, l keep. 300 00:25:50,465 --> 00:25:53,551 What you win, l keep. 301 00:25:54,427 --> 00:25:57,137 Sounds good, Mr. The Kid. 302 00:26:11,486 --> 00:26:15,447 Dude, you gotta have a poker face, like me. 303 00:26:20,495 --> 00:26:22,454 Whoa! Three aces! 304 00:26:23,832 --> 00:26:26,166 What the hell's going on here, Billy? 305 00:26:27,836 --> 00:26:29,878 Are you cheating us, Kid? 306 00:26:31,798 --> 00:26:32,965 Cheatin'? 307 00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:36,760 Me? 308 00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:49,857 Billy! 309 00:26:53,653 --> 00:26:55,029 Excellent! 310 00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:05,414 Look, we're totally weak. 311 00:27:05,582 --> 00:27:07,708 We can't possibly fight you. 312 00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:11,462 However, how would you gentlemen like... 313 00:27:12,047 --> 00:27:16,592 ...free passes to Waterloo. Home of excellent water slides. 314 00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:19,511 Nice try, dude. 315 00:27:20,597 --> 00:27:26,935 Whoa! 316 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,230 - Whoa! - Whoa! 317 00:27:30,398 --> 00:27:31,523 What? 318 00:27:33,568 --> 00:27:34,777 Come on. 319 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,907 - Look! - lt's the Goodyear blimp. 320 00:27:40,075 --> 00:27:41,033 Huh? 321 00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:49,333 l can't believe they fell for that! 322 00:27:51,252 --> 00:27:52,836 Yeah! 323 00:27:54,214 --> 00:27:55,839 - Let's get 'em! - Kill 'em! 324 00:27:57,592 --> 00:27:58,425 Come on! 325 00:28:00,428 --> 00:28:03,514 - You guys saved my life. - Nothing doing, Billy the Kid. 326 00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:06,308 - Where we going? - The Golden Age of Civilization. 327 00:28:06,476 --> 00:28:08,602 - Where? - Ancient Greece, dude. 328 00:28:08,770 --> 00:28:11,814 Don't worry, we'll bring you back as soon as you talk in our report. 329 00:28:13,775 --> 00:28:14,608 What?! 330 00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:22,116 What the...? 331 00:28:49,519 --> 00:28:51,103 Socrates. 332 00:28:51,813 --> 00:28:53,814 - Hey, we know that name. - Yeah! 333 00:28:53,982 --> 00:28:56,150 Hey, look him up. 334 00:28:56,818 --> 00:29:00,320 - Oh. lt's under So-crates. - Oh, yeah. 335 00:29:04,284 --> 00:29:06,160 "So-crates: 336 00:29:06,327 --> 00:29:11,081 'The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing."' 337 00:29:13,501 --> 00:29:16,503 - That's us, dude! - Oh, yeah! 338 00:29:17,338 --> 00:29:19,089 - Let's bag him. - Yeah. 339 00:29:35,398 --> 00:29:36,857 How's it going? 340 00:29:45,658 --> 00:29:48,619 l'm Bill, this is Ted. 341 00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:50,120 We're from the future. 342 00:29:52,290 --> 00:29:54,875 Socrates. Hm... 343 00:29:55,627 --> 00:29:57,044 Now what? 344 00:29:58,213 --> 00:29:59,630 l don't know. 345 00:30:00,924 --> 00:30:02,841 Philosophize with him. 346 00:30:08,389 --> 00:30:13,393 All we are is dust in the wind, dude. 347 00:30:21,486 --> 00:30:22,611 Dust. 348 00:30:24,531 --> 00:30:26,824 - Wind. - Dude. 349 00:30:37,252 --> 00:30:38,919 Ha! 350 00:30:39,087 --> 00:30:40,712 Let's get out of here, dude. 351 00:30:48,054 --> 00:30:50,430 Whoa! 352 00:30:50,598 --> 00:30:51,974 All right! 353 00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:57,938 Yee-ha! 354 00:30:58,106 --> 00:30:59,982 Not bad, eh, So-crates? 355 00:31:01,609 --> 00:31:05,696 - Where are we, dude? - England, 15th century. 356 00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:08,532 We are in most excellent shape for our report. 357 00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:11,285 Yeah, all we need is one more speaker from medieval. 358 00:31:11,452 --> 00:31:12,786 Excellent. 359 00:31:12,954 --> 00:31:16,248 Billy, you are dealing with the oddity of time travel 360 00:31:16,416 --> 00:31:18,292 with the greatest of ease. 361 00:31:19,878 --> 00:31:21,628 Excuse me. 362 00:31:21,796 --> 00:31:25,007 Do you know where there are any personages of historical significance 363 00:31:25,174 --> 00:31:26,800 around here? 364 00:31:29,971 --> 00:31:31,597 Whoa! 365 00:31:33,766 --> 00:31:35,309 Check it out. 366 00:31:37,186 --> 00:31:39,146 lt must be the castle of King Henry. 367 00:31:40,023 --> 00:31:41,648 Let's go, dude! 368 00:31:43,443 --> 00:31:45,485 Billy, guard the booth. 369 00:31:46,154 --> 00:31:47,988 And watch So-crates. 370 00:31:50,825 --> 00:31:52,159 So-crates. 371 00:31:52,327 --> 00:31:55,746 So, who should we get from medieval? 372 00:31:57,999 --> 00:32:00,500 How about that gnarly old goat dude? 373 00:32:02,003 --> 00:32:03,503 Ted? 374 00:32:04,839 --> 00:32:06,089 l'm in love, dude. 375 00:32:10,053 --> 00:32:11,970 Whoa! 376 00:32:12,889 --> 00:32:17,559 Those must be the princesses you told yourself about at the Circle K. 377 00:32:19,395 --> 00:32:23,148 We gotta go, it's a history report, not a babe report. 378 00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:25,359 But Bill... 379 00:32:26,194 --> 00:32:29,404 ...those are historical babes. 380 00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:34,368 OK, you're the ladies man, 381 00:32:34,535 --> 00:32:36,328 how we gonna meet 'em? 382 00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:47,464 Excellent. 383 00:32:55,515 --> 00:32:57,557 - Bill? - What? 384 00:32:57,725 --> 00:33:01,395 - These are heavy. - Yeah, heavy metal. 385 00:33:07,318 --> 00:33:09,319 We gotta go find the princesses. 386 00:33:09,487 --> 00:33:11,405 Yeah. 387 00:33:11,572 --> 00:33:12,739 Watch it! 388 00:33:13,616 --> 00:33:15,409 Who turned out all the lights? 389 00:33:15,576 --> 00:33:17,786 - Hey, Bill? - What? 390 00:33:17,954 --> 00:33:20,247 l'm Darth Ted. 391 00:33:21,457 --> 00:33:24,751 Yeah, well l'm Luke Bill. And you're not my father. 392 00:33:27,797 --> 00:33:29,006 Come on! 393 00:33:36,764 --> 00:33:38,056 Hey! 394 00:33:38,224 --> 00:33:40,600 l totally conquered you, dude! 395 00:33:40,768 --> 00:33:42,227 No way! 396 00:33:42,395 --> 00:33:44,104 Come on! 397 00:33:45,606 --> 00:33:47,482 l'll never rule the universe with you. 398 00:33:50,403 --> 00:33:51,445 - Hey, Bill. - What? 399 00:33:51,612 --> 00:33:53,113 We totally know how to sword fight. 400 00:33:53,281 --> 00:33:55,699 Yeah! 401 00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:58,618 Ah! Whoa! 402 00:34:06,919 --> 00:34:19,973 Ted. 403 00:34:22,143 --> 00:34:24,436 Search the castle, there might be more of them. 404 00:34:59,514 --> 00:35:02,682 Get out of here! 405 00:35:06,979 --> 00:35:08,146 Bogus. 406 00:35:10,691 --> 00:35:12,067 Heinous. 407 00:35:15,613 --> 00:35:18,115 Most non-triumphant. 408 00:35:22,203 --> 00:35:27,499 Ah, Ted... don't be dead, dude. 409 00:35:36,926 --> 00:35:40,053 You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed! 410 00:36:01,784 --> 00:36:03,493 Whoa! 411 00:36:04,871 --> 00:36:07,581 - Ted, you're alive! - Yeah! 412 00:36:07,748 --> 00:36:10,000 l fell out of my suit when l hit the floor. 413 00:36:12,879 --> 00:36:14,087 Fag. 414 00:36:15,214 --> 00:36:17,257 Dude, you totally boned that dude in the head. 415 00:36:17,425 --> 00:36:18,592 Yeah! 416 00:36:18,759 --> 00:36:20,427 He's a total bonehead. 417 00:36:20,928 --> 00:36:23,930 ...that fat old man. l must find a way to escape before the night. 418 00:36:24,098 --> 00:36:25,765 But how? 419 00:36:27,268 --> 00:36:29,561 - What's that? - Whoa... 420 00:36:30,479 --> 00:36:31,771 Boys. 421 00:36:31,939 --> 00:36:34,065 l can't believe they're here. 422 00:36:36,944 --> 00:36:39,446 How's it going, ladies? 423 00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:42,532 You're the ones we saw in front of the castle. 424 00:36:45,036 --> 00:36:48,288 l am Ted of San Dimas. 425 00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:53,126 And, uh... l bring to you a message of love. 426 00:36:55,463 --> 00:37:00,091 - From who? - From... from myself. 427 00:37:00,259 --> 00:37:03,053 And what is this message you speak of? 428 00:37:04,263 --> 00:37:06,014 Uh... 429 00:37:06,182 --> 00:37:09,184 Lyrics, dude. Recite 'em some lyrics. 430 00:37:13,481 --> 00:37:17,192 Oh, you beautiful babes from England, 431 00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,361 for whom we have traveled through time. 432 00:37:20,947 --> 00:37:23,365 Will you go to the prom with us in San Dimas? 433 00:37:23,532 --> 00:37:27,285 - We will have a most triumphant time. - Way to go, dude. 434 00:37:27,453 --> 00:37:31,164 - Joanna! Elizabeth! - lt's father! 435 00:37:41,092 --> 00:37:43,593 - What does your father want? - We're to be married 436 00:37:43,761 --> 00:37:47,013 - to horrible old men today. - No way! 437 00:37:47,181 --> 00:37:49,057 Will you help us escape? 438 00:37:50,351 --> 00:37:52,477 Of course, babes. 439 00:37:57,191 --> 00:37:59,526 How's it going, royal ugly dudes? 440 00:38:03,197 --> 00:38:05,699 l am the Earl of Preston. 441 00:38:05,866 --> 00:38:09,536 And l am the Duke of Ted. 442 00:38:22,883 --> 00:38:26,219 Put them in the iron maiden. 443 00:38:26,387 --> 00:38:28,096 lron Maiden? 444 00:38:28,264 --> 00:38:29,681 Excellent! 445 00:38:29,849 --> 00:38:31,850 Execute them! 446 00:38:32,727 --> 00:38:34,394 Bogus. 447 00:38:36,772 --> 00:38:38,148 We'll save you, babes! 448 00:38:41,694 --> 00:38:43,737 Witches! Heretics! 449 00:38:43,904 --> 00:38:46,948 l saw them! They fell from the sky! 450 00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:49,451 Heretics! 451 00:38:49,618 --> 00:38:51,453 They fell out of the sky! 452 00:38:52,371 --> 00:38:56,416 They had fire in their eyes, and they had horns! 453 00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,135 Offwith their heads! 454 00:39:07,303 --> 00:39:08,470 Oh, no. 455 00:39:13,267 --> 00:39:15,143 - Bill? - What? 456 00:39:15,311 --> 00:39:20,190 l believe our adventure through time has taken a most serious turn. 457 00:39:27,406 --> 00:39:29,115 Huh? 458 00:39:31,660 --> 00:39:33,328 - Billy! - So-crates! 459 00:39:33,496 --> 00:39:34,954 Let's go! 460 00:39:36,832 --> 00:39:38,792 - Guards! After them! - Ah! 461 00:39:38,959 --> 00:39:41,795 - So-crates! - Bye, babes! 462 00:39:43,798 --> 00:39:45,799 Catch you later, medieval dudes. 463 00:39:46,425 --> 00:39:48,635 Kill them! Guards! 464 00:39:52,932 --> 00:39:54,808 Stop them! Stop them! 465 00:39:57,103 --> 00:39:58,478 Hurry up, Billy! 466 00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:00,772 Get out of the way! 467 00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:03,316 Move out of the way! Come on, get out of here! 468 00:40:35,933 --> 00:40:38,810 Whoa! 469 00:40:46,861 --> 00:40:48,194 Dial fast, dude! 470 00:40:51,198 --> 00:40:53,867 l'm sorry, the number you have dialed is not in service at this time. 471 00:40:54,034 --> 00:40:55,869 Please check your directory and dial again. 472 00:40:56,036 --> 00:40:57,996 - Oh, no. - Party on, dude. 473 00:41:01,709 --> 00:41:04,502 Bill! 474 00:41:04,670 --> 00:41:06,671 OK, l got one, let's go! 475 00:41:40,998 --> 00:41:42,999 You guys stay here. 476 00:41:45,586 --> 00:41:47,587 Where are we, dude? 477 00:41:48,797 --> 00:41:50,215 l don't know. 478 00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:54,260 They sure do play excellent music. 479 00:41:54,428 --> 00:41:56,513 Most outstanding. 480 00:42:16,033 --> 00:42:18,743 - lt's you. - Yeah! 481 00:42:18,911 --> 00:42:20,537 lt's us! 482 00:42:20,704 --> 00:42:22,330 Who are we? 483 00:43:12,089 --> 00:43:15,008 Bill, l think they want us to say something. 484 00:43:16,218 --> 00:43:17,844 What should l say? 485 00:43:19,013 --> 00:43:20,263 Make something up. 486 00:43:28,981 --> 00:43:31,691 Be excellent to each other. 487 00:43:38,324 --> 00:43:39,991 Party on, dudes! 488 00:43:40,784 --> 00:43:43,036 Good one, dude. 489 00:43:47,916 --> 00:43:51,169 Well, we gotta get back to our report. 490 00:43:51,337 --> 00:43:53,129 Yeah, we'd take you with us, 491 00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:57,175 but it's a history report, not a future report. 492 00:44:00,679 --> 00:44:02,055 Later. 493 00:44:02,765 --> 00:44:04,140 Later. 494 00:44:07,394 --> 00:44:09,395 Let's get back and do our report. 495 00:44:09,563 --> 00:44:11,356 Good idea. 496 00:44:28,248 --> 00:44:31,084 - Dude, where're we going? - l don't know. 497 00:44:31,251 --> 00:44:32,627 l think the booth's broke. 498 00:44:32,795 --> 00:44:36,673 We gotta keep going to San Dimas until we get back and get Napoleon. 499 00:44:39,134 --> 00:44:40,426 Behold. 500 00:44:40,594 --> 00:44:42,762 Behold, the Ziggy Pig. 501 00:44:42,930 --> 00:44:46,516 The single greatest ice cream spectacle known to man. 502 00:44:46,684 --> 00:44:48,810 Eat the pig. Eat the pig. 503 00:44:48,977 --> 00:44:51,312 Ziggy, ziggy, ziggy, zig! 504 00:44:52,314 --> 00:44:54,607 Whoo-hoo! 505 00:44:59,279 --> 00:45:02,740 lt's ice cream. You eat it. 506 00:45:04,451 --> 00:45:05,493 lt's good. 507 00:45:10,165 --> 00:45:11,624 Whatever, just eat it. 508 00:45:15,546 --> 00:45:16,546 Hm... 509 00:45:32,104 --> 00:45:35,148 All behold, he ate the pig. 510 00:45:35,315 --> 00:45:39,318 Thus proving that he's a Ziggy Piggy, 511 00:45:39,486 --> 00:45:43,156 Ziggy Piggy, Ziggy Piggy. 512 00:45:58,338 --> 00:45:59,881 What's that? 513 00:46:04,011 --> 00:46:05,344 l don't know. 514 00:46:09,683 --> 00:46:12,018 - Shit! - Whoa! 515 00:46:35,125 --> 00:46:36,626 Where'd we land now? 516 00:46:38,128 --> 00:46:40,254 Dude, it's Sigmund Freud. 517 00:46:40,422 --> 00:46:42,632 How much time have we got left? 518 00:46:43,383 --> 00:46:45,259 Tons! Why? 519 00:46:45,427 --> 00:46:47,637 Extra credit, dude! 520 00:46:51,391 --> 00:46:52,975 How's it going, Freud dude? 521 00:47:03,946 --> 00:47:06,072 Let go of me. What are you doing? 522 00:47:49,074 --> 00:47:50,449 Come on, So-crates. 523 00:48:40,334 --> 00:48:42,418 Welcome aboard, Ms. Joan ofArc. 524 00:48:43,170 --> 00:48:45,880 My name's Ted, and this is Bill. 525 00:49:06,026 --> 00:49:08,861 Oh! 526 00:49:12,866 --> 00:49:14,533 Want a Twinkie, Genghis Khan? 527 00:49:14,701 --> 00:49:16,243 Say "please." 528 00:49:16,411 --> 00:49:19,372 Mm... 529 00:49:19,539 --> 00:49:21,040 Come on, guys! Jump him! 530 00:49:26,380 --> 00:49:27,380 Candygram. 531 00:49:38,350 --> 00:49:41,686 Yes, what can l... 532 00:49:47,609 --> 00:49:51,779 We've got plenty of time, but we don't have any more room left. 533 00:49:51,947 --> 00:49:54,073 - Ted, we're outta control. - What? 534 00:49:54,241 --> 00:49:57,827 The next place we stop we gotta try and figure out what's wrong with the booth. 535 00:50:06,294 --> 00:50:09,964 Bill, l think l got an idea what's wrong. 536 00:50:10,132 --> 00:50:11,298 What? 537 00:50:11,466 --> 00:50:14,010 The antenna's broken. 538 00:50:21,977 --> 00:50:23,769 Yeah! All right. 539 00:51:16,907 --> 00:51:17,990 Come on, let's ditch him. 540 00:51:34,174 --> 00:51:36,008 Hold on there. Not so fast, buddy. 541 00:51:36,176 --> 00:51:39,553 - Buddy? - You ain't paid yet. 542 00:51:39,721 --> 00:51:42,056 - Pay? - Pay. 543 00:51:46,686 --> 00:51:49,271 l don't want to see you around here anymore! Beat it! 544 00:51:51,066 --> 00:51:52,691 Beat it, buddy! 545 00:51:54,194 --> 00:51:55,486 ldiot! 546 00:52:12,420 --> 00:52:13,420 Deacon! 547 00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:28,227 Here is a treat to make a minor prehistoric pit stop 548 00:52:28,395 --> 00:52:30,271 a bit more enjoyable. 549 00:52:32,524 --> 00:52:33,524 Thank you. 550 00:52:42,617 --> 00:52:43,909 Uh-oh. 551 00:53:02,095 --> 00:53:03,554 Thanks, guys. 552 00:53:07,392 --> 00:53:08,934 l sure hope this works. 553 00:53:23,742 --> 00:53:25,492 l think it's working, dude. 554 00:53:38,632 --> 00:53:40,174 Just a little farther... 555 00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:41,967 ...l hope! 556 00:53:48,934 --> 00:53:51,560 Hey! That's us. 557 00:53:51,728 --> 00:53:53,187 We're back in San Dimas. 558 00:53:53,355 --> 00:53:57,524 Yeah, only now it's not now. lt's last night. 559 00:53:57,692 --> 00:53:59,235 - Dude. - What? 560 00:53:59,402 --> 00:54:01,237 Let's go talk to ourselves. 561 00:54:01,404 --> 00:54:02,863 Excellent. 562 00:54:03,031 --> 00:54:04,323 What do we say anyway, anyways? 563 00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:07,618 l don't know. Let's go find out. 564 00:54:08,536 --> 00:54:10,537 Sixty-nine, dudes! 565 00:54:10,705 --> 00:54:13,165 Whoa! 566 00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,709 Look dudes, we've gotta go. 567 00:54:15,877 --> 00:54:17,670 Rufus! 568 00:54:18,797 --> 00:54:21,757 Listen to this dude Rufus, he knows what he's talking about. 569 00:54:21,925 --> 00:54:26,262 Right. Oh, and Ted, give my love to the princesses. 570 00:54:27,180 --> 00:54:29,848 - Who? - You'll see. 571 00:54:31,184 --> 00:54:33,560 Gentlemen, is everything all right? 572 00:54:33,728 --> 00:54:37,022 Yeah, except how come the number we dialed for San Dimas 573 00:54:37,190 --> 00:54:39,817 brought us here instead of to tomorrow, Rufus? 574 00:54:39,985 --> 00:54:42,987 Because in San Dimas it is tomorrow, William. 575 00:54:43,154 --> 00:54:45,531 You have to dial one number higher. 576 00:54:45,699 --> 00:54:49,201 Oh, yeah. Thanks Rufus. 577 00:54:49,369 --> 00:54:51,870 And you better hurry, because you don't have much time. 578 00:54:52,038 --> 00:54:54,957 What do you mean, Rufus? We got ten hours left. 579 00:54:55,875 --> 00:54:58,419 You got two hours. 580 00:54:58,586 --> 00:55:01,213 Ted, you forgot to wind your watch again. 581 00:55:01,381 --> 00:55:03,549 Even after you reminded yourself not to. 582 00:55:03,717 --> 00:55:05,718 Well, l better remind myself again. 583 00:55:05,885 --> 00:55:09,013 Ted, don't forget to wind your watch! 584 00:55:10,056 --> 00:55:12,016 Thanks, Rufus. 585 00:55:14,352 --> 00:55:15,894 Catch ya later, Bill and Ted. 586 00:55:17,856 --> 00:55:20,858 That conversation made more sense this time. 587 00:55:21,026 --> 00:55:22,943 Ted, you're too tall, man. 588 00:55:35,248 --> 00:55:37,583 - Great, we made it! - Huh? 589 00:55:37,751 --> 00:55:38,751 Whoa! 590 00:55:38,918 --> 00:55:43,797 - Who's the señorita? She's cute. - lt's his mom, dude. 591 00:55:47,427 --> 00:55:51,013 - Hi, guys. - Hi, Missy. l mean Mom. 592 00:55:51,181 --> 00:55:55,642 Uh, Mrs. Preston, we'd like you to meet some of our friends. 593 00:55:55,810 --> 00:55:59,271 Yeah, this is, uh, Dave Beethoven. 594 00:55:59,439 --> 00:56:01,231 Ah. 595 00:56:01,399 --> 00:56:05,778 And, uh... Maxine ofArc. Missy. 596 00:56:06,571 --> 00:56:08,197 Herman the Kid. 597 00:56:08,365 --> 00:56:10,282 Bob Genghis Khan. 598 00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:13,702 - So-crates Johnson. - Hi. 599 00:56:13,870 --> 00:56:16,997 Dennis Freud and, uh... 600 00:56:19,959 --> 00:56:21,502 ...Abraham Lincoln. 601 00:56:22,337 --> 00:56:24,671 Well, it's nice to meet you all. 602 00:56:24,839 --> 00:56:26,382 There are sodas in the fridge. 603 00:56:28,259 --> 00:56:30,052 Mom, can you give us a ride someplace? 604 00:56:30,220 --> 00:56:33,389 Bill, l'm not taking you anywhere until you do your chores. 605 00:57:09,968 --> 00:57:11,468 Done! 606 00:57:13,304 --> 00:57:15,597 This is the San Dimas mall. 607 00:57:15,765 --> 00:57:18,892 And this is where people of today's world hang out. 608 00:57:20,103 --> 00:57:22,438 All right, everybody, watch your step getting off. 609 00:57:22,605 --> 00:57:25,190 Beethoven, make sure you don't get sucked under. 610 00:57:28,027 --> 00:57:30,696 Everybody get together, remember who your buddy is. 611 00:57:32,031 --> 00:57:34,366 So-crates, watch out for your robe, dude. 612 00:57:37,704 --> 00:57:41,081 OK, follow me. 613 00:57:41,374 --> 00:57:44,585 You've got your Broadway down here, and got your Sears over here. 614 00:57:45,503 --> 00:57:47,504 The stratification of our society 615 00:57:47,672 --> 00:57:49,715 is much like Marie Antoinette's. 616 00:57:49,883 --> 00:57:52,384 The few possess much, while the masses 617 00:57:52,552 --> 00:57:54,803 possess little but their television sets. 618 00:57:54,971 --> 00:57:57,264 This dichotomy led to a revolution 619 00:57:57,432 --> 00:58:00,184 in which Antoinette and her husband were beheaded. 620 00:58:00,351 --> 00:58:03,103 Today, leaders are impeached rather than beheaded. 621 00:58:04,230 --> 00:58:08,400 Still, while in her day, Marie Antoinette said "Let them eat cake," 622 00:58:08,568 --> 00:58:11,361 perhaps today she would say, "Let them eat fast food." 623 00:58:17,911 --> 00:58:21,288 - Enjoy. - OK, look around, see what you think. 624 00:58:21,456 --> 00:58:24,208 We'll be back as soon as we find Napoleon. OK? 625 00:58:24,375 --> 00:58:27,002 Come on, dude, we don't got much time. 626 00:58:27,754 --> 00:58:29,588 Yes, but what do we... 627 00:58:30,089 --> 00:58:31,924 You ditched Napoleon?! 628 00:58:32,091 --> 00:58:35,636 Deacon, do you realize you've stranded one of Europe's greatest leaders 629 00:58:35,803 --> 00:58:37,930 - in San Dimas? - He was a dick. 630 00:58:41,142 --> 00:58:43,810 Well... how are we gonna find him? 631 00:58:47,232 --> 00:58:52,319 OK, wait, ifwe were one of the greatest generals in history, 632 00:58:52,487 --> 00:58:58,242 and we were stranded in San Dimas for one day, where would we go? 633 00:59:01,871 --> 00:59:03,622 Waterloo! 634 00:59:16,344 --> 00:59:18,262 Eleven children, please. 635 00:59:18,429 --> 00:59:20,180 Are you OK? 636 00:59:47,458 --> 00:59:49,501 This is fun! 637 00:59:52,714 --> 00:59:54,464 Buddy, you're holding up the line! 638 01:00:00,221 --> 01:00:01,388 Come on, buddy. 639 01:01:25,890 --> 01:01:28,934 Come on, Napoleon. Everybody's waiting for us. 640 01:01:29,102 --> 01:01:31,853 - No, no, no! - Yes, yes, yes! 641 01:01:35,358 --> 01:01:39,611 Why be soft and flabby when you can be firm and trim? 642 01:01:39,779 --> 01:01:43,240 When you can have a body that cries out, "Look at me, admire me." 643 01:01:43,408 --> 01:01:46,326 With our specialized weight training and aerobics program, 644 01:01:46,494 --> 01:01:50,205 we can help you attain the kind of body you've only dreamed of having. 645 01:01:50,373 --> 01:01:53,500 All right, let's go ladies! 646 01:01:53,668 --> 01:01:56,294 You guys are looking great! 647 01:01:56,462 --> 01:02:00,424 OK, jumping jacks. Jump! Jump! 648 01:02:05,471 --> 01:02:07,180 You a musician? 649 01:02:09,851 --> 01:02:12,018 Well here, try this. 650 01:02:35,626 --> 01:02:37,502 What is...? 651 01:02:38,838 --> 01:02:41,173 What are they doing? 652 01:02:41,799 --> 01:02:43,633 Look at his sandals. Ooh! 653 01:02:45,136 --> 01:02:47,387 - l don't know. - He's creepy. 654 01:02:47,555 --> 01:02:50,098 - Weird, huh? - Oh, they're coming over. 655 01:02:53,352 --> 01:02:58,398 Hi. l'm Billy, this here is So-crates. 656 01:02:58,566 --> 01:03:00,776 - Socrates. - We're from history. 657 01:03:04,071 --> 01:03:08,241 Hello, l'm Dr. Freud. But you may call me Siggy. 658 01:03:08,409 --> 01:03:10,535 Oh, my God! 659 01:03:11,579 --> 01:03:15,916 You both seem to be suffering from a mild form of hysteria. 660 01:03:16,834 --> 01:03:19,085 You are such a geek. 661 01:03:22,507 --> 01:03:24,424 Way to go, egghead. 662 01:03:26,260 --> 01:03:29,805 - Geek! - What is a "geek"? 663 01:03:32,558 --> 01:03:33,725 Huh... 664 01:03:34,894 --> 01:03:36,394 Oh... 665 01:03:39,357 --> 01:03:40,774 Oh. 666 01:04:02,380 --> 01:04:04,256 l need some help. l've got a live one here. 667 01:04:08,511 --> 01:04:09,636 - OK... - Thank you. 668 01:04:09,804 --> 01:04:11,638 ...l need the Lincoln hat and the stupid beard back. 669 01:04:11,806 --> 01:04:15,642 You don't understand, l'm Abraham Lincoln. 670 01:04:15,810 --> 01:04:17,394 Yeah, right. Ha, ha, ha. 671 01:04:17,562 --> 01:04:18,645 Now, come on, mister... 672 01:04:18,813 --> 01:04:21,481 This is my hat and my beard. l am...! 673 01:04:29,907 --> 01:04:32,117 Keep it up! You're looking great! 674 01:04:47,300 --> 01:04:49,801 Yah! 675 01:04:51,178 --> 01:04:52,679 Hey! That crazy there! 676 01:04:52,847 --> 01:04:54,764 - Son, hold it right there. - Get that guy off there. 677 01:04:54,932 --> 01:04:55,932 Oh! 678 01:04:59,145 --> 01:05:00,812 Stop him! 679 01:05:05,234 --> 01:05:07,319 Yee-haw! 680 01:05:07,486 --> 01:05:09,446 Ya-ha! 681 01:05:13,659 --> 01:05:15,785 - No, Sig, over here. - Sorry, miss. 682 01:05:15,953 --> 01:05:16,912 Excuse me, miss. 683 01:05:17,079 --> 01:05:19,623 - Move, move. - Pardon me. 684 01:05:20,708 --> 01:05:22,125 Oh, no. 685 01:05:22,293 --> 01:05:24,002 l demand a lawyer. 686 01:05:24,170 --> 01:05:26,004 Don't get smart with me, buddy. Let's go. 687 01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:44,022 Hey, there they are! 688 01:05:50,529 --> 01:05:52,697 Ah! 689 01:05:52,865 --> 01:05:54,908 All right, come on, Grandpa. 690 01:05:59,413 --> 01:06:00,747 Bogus! 691 01:06:03,668 --> 01:06:05,126 That's enough. 692 01:06:13,761 --> 01:06:16,054 Mom, can't you go any faster? 693 01:06:31,737 --> 01:06:35,448 l want to know why you claim to be Sigmund Freud. 694 01:06:35,616 --> 01:06:38,201 Why do you claim l'm not Sigmund Freud? 695 01:06:38,369 --> 01:06:41,121 Why do you keep asking me these questions? 696 01:06:42,123 --> 01:06:43,748 Tell me about your mother. 697 01:06:44,458 --> 01:06:47,335 - Oh, God. - Would you like a couch to lie on? 698 01:06:47,503 --> 01:06:49,546 No, l don't want a couch to lie on. 699 01:06:56,929 --> 01:06:58,555 All right, what's your name? 700 01:06:58,723 --> 01:07:00,098 Abraham Lincoln. 701 01:07:00,266 --> 01:07:03,768 That's L-l-N-C-O-L-N. 702 01:07:03,936 --> 01:07:06,187 l know how to spell Lincoln. 703 01:07:08,941 --> 01:07:10,900 What's your birthday, Mr. Lincoln? 704 01:07:11,068 --> 01:07:14,988 February 12th, 1809. 705 01:07:18,242 --> 01:07:21,119 Everything is different, but the same. 706 01:07:21,287 --> 01:07:25,248 Things are more moderner than before, 707 01:07:25,416 --> 01:07:29,669 bigger, and yet smaller. 708 01:07:33,799 --> 01:07:35,216 lt's computers. 709 01:07:38,846 --> 01:07:41,639 Take your time! 710 01:07:42,683 --> 01:07:44,976 San Dimas High School football rules! 711 01:07:59,325 --> 01:08:01,993 l can't believe my dad arrested them all. 712 01:08:03,662 --> 01:08:05,038 What are we gonna do? 713 01:08:05,206 --> 01:08:08,333 OK, Ted, you go in and talk to your dad. l'm gonna scope the place out. 714 01:08:08,501 --> 01:08:12,128 Missy, l mean Mom, please keep an eye on Napoleon. 715 01:08:14,632 --> 01:08:15,632 Stay! 716 01:08:20,513 --> 01:08:22,555 All right, lock him up with the rest of those wackos. 717 01:08:22,723 --> 01:08:24,557 - l am a lawyer, you know... - Dad! 718 01:08:24,725 --> 01:08:27,393 - You pack your bags, Ted. - What? 719 01:08:27,561 --> 01:08:28,686 You're going to military school. 720 01:08:28,854 --> 01:08:30,522 - But, Dad... - No, l don't want to hear it, Ted. 721 01:08:30,689 --> 01:08:32,357 - But... - Ted, you go home 722 01:08:32,525 --> 01:08:34,442 and you pack your bags, now! 723 01:08:42,076 --> 01:08:43,701 - How'd it go? - Bad. 724 01:08:43,869 --> 01:08:47,539 Our historical figures are all locked up and my dad won't let them out. 725 01:08:48,624 --> 01:08:50,041 Can we get your dad's keys? 726 01:08:50,209 --> 01:08:53,086 l could steal them, but he lost them two days ago. 727 01:08:53,254 --> 01:08:57,215 lf only we could go back in time to when he had them and steal them then. 728 01:08:58,134 --> 01:09:00,552 Well, why can't we? 729 01:09:00,719 --> 01:09:02,053 'Cause we don't got time. 730 01:09:02,221 --> 01:09:04,222 We could do it after the report. 731 01:09:05,182 --> 01:09:06,975 Ted, good thinking, dude! 732 01:09:07,143 --> 01:09:09,811 After the report, we'll time travel back to two days ago, 733 01:09:09,979 --> 01:09:12,397 steal your dad's keys, and leave them here. 734 01:09:12,565 --> 01:09:14,232 - Where? - l don't know. 735 01:09:14,400 --> 01:09:16,568 How about behind that sign? 736 01:09:16,735 --> 01:09:19,988 That way, when we get here now, they'll be waiting for us. 737 01:09:22,241 --> 01:09:24,576 - See? - Whoa! Yeah! 738 01:09:24,743 --> 01:09:28,872 So, after the report we can't forget to do this, otherwise it won't happen. 739 01:09:29,039 --> 01:09:32,917 But it did happen! Hey, it was me who stole my dad's keys! 740 01:09:33,085 --> 01:09:35,086 Exactly, Ted. Come on. 741 01:09:38,841 --> 01:09:40,049 - Mom? - Yes? 742 01:09:40,217 --> 01:09:42,177 Can you please bring the car around back? 743 01:09:42,344 --> 01:09:43,178 Sure. 744 01:09:44,805 --> 01:09:48,933 Come on, Ted. We've got some historical figures to rescue. 745 01:09:49,101 --> 01:09:50,518 Over and out. 746 01:10:06,702 --> 01:10:08,786 How are we gonna get past my dad? 747 01:10:10,247 --> 01:10:12,207 You got a tape recorder at home? 748 01:10:12,374 --> 01:10:14,751 - Yeah. - OK. 749 01:10:15,586 --> 01:10:17,629 - Remember to get the tape recorder. - Yeah. 750 01:10:17,796 --> 01:10:22,300 Set a timer on it for, uh... 2:13. 751 01:10:22,468 --> 01:10:24,344 - Got it? - Got it! 752 01:10:27,014 --> 01:10:28,806 What am l gonna say on it? 753 01:10:28,974 --> 01:10:31,935 Dad! Hey, Dad! 754 01:10:32,102 --> 01:10:34,187 lt's you, dude. 755 01:10:38,692 --> 01:10:39,734 Ted? 756 01:10:39,902 --> 01:10:41,152 l'm over here. 757 01:10:43,447 --> 01:10:45,865 Yeah, this way. 758 01:11:07,554 --> 01:11:09,472 Whoa. Check it out. 759 01:11:11,558 --> 01:11:14,686 "Dear Bill and Ted, good luck on the report. 760 01:11:14,853 --> 01:11:19,399 Sincerely, Bill S. Preston, Esquire and Ted "Theodore" Logan." 761 01:11:19,566 --> 01:11:20,984 That was nice of us. 762 01:11:21,151 --> 01:11:24,362 "P.S. Duck!" 763 01:11:30,035 --> 01:11:31,828 - Excellent work, dude. - Way to go! 764 01:11:31,996 --> 01:11:33,162 Come on. 765 01:11:41,213 --> 01:11:45,008 Shh! 766 01:11:45,175 --> 01:11:49,554 Time is of the essence. 767 01:11:49,722 --> 01:11:52,765 May l ask that you all work together so that we can get down to the car. 768 01:11:52,933 --> 01:11:54,892 Very quiet now. Quiet. 769 01:11:56,812 --> 01:11:59,564 Against the wall. Single file. 770 01:12:00,399 --> 01:12:02,567 - Hurry up, Billy. - How do we get out of here? 771 01:12:03,610 --> 01:12:05,611 Over here, Dad. 772 01:12:05,779 --> 01:12:06,904 Down here! 773 01:12:07,072 --> 01:12:09,157 Way to go, dude. We stalled him. 774 01:12:09,325 --> 01:12:11,075 What else do l say? 775 01:12:11,243 --> 01:12:14,078 And now, opening for lron Maiden... 776 01:12:14,246 --> 01:12:16,748 ...Wyld Stallyns! 777 01:12:19,793 --> 01:12:22,628 - Come on, Bill, put your back into it. - Ted? 778 01:12:22,796 --> 01:12:24,964 What in the hell do you think you're doing? 779 01:12:25,132 --> 01:12:28,426 Trash can. Remember a trash can! 780 01:12:28,594 --> 01:12:30,261 Trash can? What are you talking about...? 781 01:12:30,429 --> 01:12:33,556 - Get this thing off me, Ted! - Sorry, Dad, 782 01:12:33,724 --> 01:12:36,100 but we've got to go pass our history report. 783 01:12:36,268 --> 01:12:39,604 - Oh, by the way, l found your keys. - Ted! 784 01:12:39,772 --> 01:12:42,815 Ted, where are you? Get this off me! Ted! 785 01:12:49,281 --> 01:12:52,283 ln conclusion, l think Abraham Lincoln 786 01:12:52,451 --> 01:12:55,620 would be most impressed with the world of San Dimas. 787 01:12:55,788 --> 01:12:59,791 l know l am. 788 01:13:07,591 --> 01:13:11,469 - Down the hall, to the left. - Quiet. 789 01:13:12,805 --> 01:13:17,225 And l'm sure l speak for Mr. Ward and Mrs. Rowe when l say 790 01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:19,811 that your reports were very entertaining 791 01:13:19,978 --> 01:13:22,105 and very informative for all of us. 792 01:13:22,940 --> 01:13:27,443 So, it seems we may be one report short today, so we'll leave just a bit early. 793 01:13:30,155 --> 01:13:33,324 But once again, l want to thank you all for your very hard work... 794 01:13:33,492 --> 01:13:37,036 Hey, who turned out the lights? 795 01:13:40,165 --> 01:13:42,375 Hello, San Dimas. 796 01:13:42,543 --> 01:13:47,046 Please welcome, for the final report of the afternoon, 797 01:13:47,214 --> 01:13:48,923 from all throughout history, 798 01:13:49,091 --> 01:13:52,218 some of the greatest people who have ever lived, 799 01:13:52,386 --> 01:13:56,973 in their 1988 World Tour! 800 01:14:04,857 --> 01:14:08,151 How's it going? l'm Billy the Kid. 801 01:14:21,623 --> 01:14:24,417 l'd like you all to put your hands together. 802 01:14:31,133 --> 01:14:34,260 And now, my good friends, 803 01:14:34,428 --> 01:14:38,139 Bill S. Preston, Esquire, 804 01:14:38,307 --> 01:14:42,226 and Ted "Theodore" Logan! Whoo! 805 01:14:42,394 --> 01:14:44,562 Thank you! Thank you! 806 01:14:45,314 --> 01:14:48,065 Hello, San Dimas High! 807 01:14:48,233 --> 01:14:54,113 Mr. Ryan, fellow distinguished classmates, teachers, babes. 808 01:14:54,823 --> 01:14:56,699 Our first speaker was born 809 01:14:56,867 --> 01:15:00,286 - in the year 470 B.C. - Hi, long time no see. 810 01:15:00,454 --> 01:15:02,580 A time when much of the world 811 01:15:02,748 --> 01:15:06,083 looked like the cover of the Led Zeppelin album Houses ofthe Holy. 812 01:15:06,251 --> 01:15:07,793 We were there. 813 01:15:07,961 --> 01:15:11,797 There were many steps and columns, it was most tranquil. 814 01:15:11,965 --> 01:15:15,718 He is sometimes known as the father of modern thought. 815 01:15:15,886 --> 01:15:19,764 He was the teacher of Plato, who was in turn the teacher ofAristotle. 816 01:15:19,932 --> 01:15:25,436 And like Ozzy Osbourne, was repeatedly accused of corruption of the young. 817 01:15:25,604 --> 01:15:28,606 And since he doesn't speak English, my friend Ted here, 818 01:15:28,774 --> 01:15:30,608 is going to interpret for him. 819 01:15:30,776 --> 01:15:33,569 So please welcome, to tell us what he thinks of San Dimas, 820 01:15:33,737 --> 01:15:37,406 the most bodacious philosophizer in Ancient Greece... 821 01:15:37,950 --> 01:15:39,617 ...Socrates! 822 01:15:42,287 --> 01:15:45,540 ...is totally out of control. l got a good idea where he gets it from. 823 01:15:45,707 --> 01:15:48,668 l mean if you and that wife of yours would show a little discipline 824 01:15:48,835 --> 01:15:50,753 maybe your son wouldn't be such a bad influence. 825 01:15:50,921 --> 01:15:52,713 ls discipline your key to the success with Ted? 826 01:15:52,881 --> 01:15:55,633 Yes, it is! He's going to an Alaskan military school. 827 01:15:55,801 --> 01:15:59,136 He loves you best... 828 01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:03,307 ...in all the world. 829 01:16:04,268 --> 01:16:05,685 What are they doing up there? 830 01:16:07,229 --> 01:16:08,312 He also loves... 831 01:16:09,773 --> 01:16:11,107 ...baseball! 832 01:16:12,150 --> 01:16:15,820 Therefore, Ted's father's own fear of failure 833 01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:18,114 has caused him to make his son 834 01:16:18,282 --> 01:16:20,658 the embodiment of all of his own 835 01:16:20,826 --> 01:16:25,162 deepest anxieties about himself. 836 01:16:25,330 --> 01:16:30,167 And, hence, his aggression transference onto Ted. 837 01:16:32,546 --> 01:16:35,590 - Whoa! - OK, Ted? 838 01:16:37,843 --> 01:16:40,928 Yes, thank you very much, Sigmund Freud. 839 01:16:42,347 --> 01:16:43,681 Hm? 840 01:16:44,725 --> 01:16:47,560 Nah, just got a minor Oedipal complex. 841 01:16:49,688 --> 01:16:52,315 lt is indeed a pleasure to introduce to you 842 01:16:52,482 --> 01:16:57,737 a gentleman we picked up in Medieval Mongolia in the year 1269. 843 01:16:57,904 --> 01:17:01,365 Please welcome the very excellent barbarian... 844 01:17:01,533 --> 01:17:04,160 ...Mr. Genghis Khan. 845 01:17:07,456 --> 01:17:12,793 This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China. 846 01:17:12,961 --> 01:17:14,837 And who we are told, two hours ago, 847 01:17:15,005 --> 01:17:17,632 totally ravaged Oshman's Sporting Goods. 848 01:17:20,052 --> 01:17:23,679 A most bodacious soldier, and general, 849 01:17:23,847 --> 01:17:27,516 Ms. OfArc totally rousted the English from France. 850 01:17:27,684 --> 01:17:31,187 And then turned this dude, Dauphin, into a king 851 01:17:31,355 --> 01:17:34,065 and all this by the time she was 17. 852 01:17:44,076 --> 01:17:45,951 ...waterslide. 853 01:17:47,120 --> 01:17:50,247 The music of Ludwig van Beethoven. 854 01:17:53,752 --> 01:17:56,504 As you can see, Genghis very much enjoys Twinkies 855 01:17:56,672 --> 01:17:58,756 because of the excellent sugar rush. 856 01:17:58,924 --> 01:18:01,801 He also loves billiards. 857 01:18:04,096 --> 01:18:07,390 Beethoven's favorite works include Mozart's "Requiem," 858 01:18:07,557 --> 01:18:11,894 Handel's "Messiah," and Bon Jovi's Slippery When Wet. 859 01:18:12,062 --> 01:18:14,438 To improve on the condition of her armies, 860 01:18:14,606 --> 01:18:18,776 Joan ofArc plans on instituting a full scale aerobics program 861 01:18:18,944 --> 01:18:20,778 on her return to France. 862 01:18:20,946 --> 01:18:22,988 l don't think it's gonna work. 863 01:18:23,615 --> 01:18:24,615 No? 864 01:18:35,877 --> 01:18:37,169 He loves... 865 01:18:38,797 --> 01:18:41,006 He loves San Dimas. 866 01:18:50,434 --> 01:18:53,185 And now, for our last speaker. 867 01:18:54,479 --> 01:18:59,316 One of the greatest presidents in American history... 868 01:19:00,235 --> 01:19:04,196 ...Mr. Abraham Lincoln. 869 01:19:24,342 --> 01:19:26,343 Four score and... 870 01:19:28,513 --> 01:19:30,556 ...seven minutes ago, 871 01:19:30,724 --> 01:19:35,019 we, your forefathers, 872 01:19:35,187 --> 01:19:40,232 were brought forth upon a most excellent adventure. 873 01:19:41,651 --> 01:19:45,488 Conceived by our new friends... 874 01:19:46,573 --> 01:19:48,073 ...Bill... 875 01:19:49,993 --> 01:19:51,535 ...and Ted. 876 01:19:53,371 --> 01:19:56,916 These two great gentlemen 877 01:19:57,083 --> 01:20:00,461 are dedicated to a proposition 878 01:20:00,629 --> 01:20:03,005 which was true in my time, 879 01:20:03,173 --> 01:20:06,217 just as it's true today. 880 01:20:09,888 --> 01:20:13,724 Be excellent to each other... 881 01:20:15,477 --> 01:20:20,397 ...and... party on, dudes! 882 01:20:28,740 --> 01:20:30,241 - No... - Way! 883 01:20:40,752 --> 01:20:43,879 Thank you, San Dimas High! 884 01:21:11,449 --> 01:21:15,578 We want more! We want more! 885 01:21:22,586 --> 01:21:24,128 lntro. 886 01:21:24,296 --> 01:21:27,339 l'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire. 887 01:21:37,559 --> 01:21:40,060 - Bill? - What's up, Ted? 888 01:21:42,063 --> 01:21:46,442 Well... we traveled through time. 889 01:21:46,610 --> 01:21:49,320 l mean, we met lots of great leaders, 890 01:21:49,487 --> 01:21:52,323 and we got an A-plus on our history report... 891 01:21:53,408 --> 01:21:56,911 ...but look at us, nothing's different. 892 01:21:59,497 --> 01:22:01,206 Maybe it's time we get Eddie Van Halen. 893 01:22:03,084 --> 01:22:05,377 Maybe we should start learning how to play. 894 01:22:06,963 --> 01:22:08,339 Maybe you're right, Ted. 895 01:22:23,855 --> 01:22:27,066 Hello, again, my excellent friends. 896 01:22:27,859 --> 01:22:28,901 Whoa! 897 01:22:29,069 --> 01:22:32,237 Congratulations on passing your history report. 898 01:22:33,198 --> 01:22:34,281 Rufus. 899 01:22:34,449 --> 01:22:36,033 The babes! 900 01:22:36,201 --> 01:22:38,369 We looked all over England for you. 901 01:22:38,536 --> 01:22:41,246 Where'd you get those savory clothes? 902 01:22:42,248 --> 01:22:45,376 Rufus introduced us to a place called the mall. 903 01:22:45,543 --> 01:22:48,253 And something called credit cards. 904 01:22:49,422 --> 01:22:51,632 l got them out of England just before they had to marry 905 01:22:51,800 --> 01:22:53,717 those royal ugly dudes. 906 01:22:53,885 --> 01:22:55,719 Way to go Rufus. 907 01:23:05,438 --> 01:23:07,564 How can we ever thank you, Rufus? 908 01:23:07,732 --> 01:23:11,402 Well, you can start by signing this for my kids. 909 01:23:12,320 --> 01:23:13,570 Why? 910 01:23:13,738 --> 01:23:15,572 They're big fans of yours. 911 01:23:15,740 --> 01:23:18,075 - What? - Everyone is. 912 01:23:18,243 --> 01:23:22,913 Wyld Stallyns' music has become the foundation of our whole society. 913 01:23:24,791 --> 01:23:26,291 No way. 914 01:23:26,459 --> 01:23:28,293 Yes way. 915 01:23:28,461 --> 01:23:31,088 ln fact, l believe you were there. 916 01:23:31,256 --> 01:23:33,882 That futuristic place with the domes? 917 01:23:34,050 --> 01:23:37,553 And the totally excellent music. 918 01:23:37,721 --> 01:23:39,638 They totally worshipped us there, Rufus. 919 01:23:39,806 --> 01:23:41,015 l know. 920 01:23:41,182 --> 01:23:44,810 That's why l was sent to make sure you passed your history report. 921 01:23:44,978 --> 01:23:49,314 lf you guys were separated it would have been disastrous for life as we know it. 922 01:23:49,482 --> 01:23:55,154 You see, eventually your music will help put an end to war and poverty. 923 01:23:55,321 --> 01:23:58,949 lt will align the planets and bring them into universal harmony, 924 01:23:59,117 --> 01:24:02,077 allowing meaningful contact with all forms of life, 925 01:24:02,245 --> 01:24:07,207 from extraterrestrial beings to common household pets. 926 01:24:07,375 --> 01:24:11,795 And... it's excellent for dancing. 927 01:24:11,963 --> 01:24:15,174 Whoa. 928 01:24:15,341 --> 01:24:17,885 Why don't you have the ladies sign as well, would you please? 929 01:24:18,053 --> 01:24:20,971 - After all, they are in the band. - They are? 930 01:24:21,139 --> 01:24:23,807 - Excellent. - Excellent. 931 01:24:23,975 --> 01:24:26,143 Where are you going, Rufus? 932 01:24:27,228 --> 01:24:29,188 l got a surprise for you. 933 01:24:38,156 --> 01:24:40,491 Here. 934 01:24:40,658 --> 01:24:42,826 That's to help you as you start your new band. 935 01:24:42,994 --> 01:24:44,661 Thanks, Rufus. 936 01:24:44,829 --> 01:24:48,624 Now l just have one further humble request. 937 01:24:48,792 --> 01:24:52,336 lf l might be so honored to jam with you? 938 01:24:53,338 --> 01:24:57,091 - Do you know how to play, Rufus? - Well, l play a little. 939 01:25:16,861 --> 01:25:19,071 Whoa! 940 01:25:20,698 --> 01:25:22,991 Most outstanding, Rufus. 941 01:25:23,159 --> 01:25:24,368 Let's jam. 942 01:25:32,710 --> 01:25:35,087 - Bill, my friend? - Yes, Ted, my friend? 943 01:25:35,255 --> 01:25:37,965 This has been a most excellent adventure. 944 01:25:39,259 --> 01:25:40,300 - One... - Two... 945 01:25:40,468 --> 01:25:42,052 One, two, three, four! 946 01:25:49,394 --> 01:25:50,727 They do get better.