1
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,976
- Looks just as good.
- Where do you get these?

2
00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:45,229
- He's got a million.
- They're so funny.

3
00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:48,357
Just remember,
don't mention the Communists.

4
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,567
Calvin's a great guy,
but he's a little....

5
00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:52,569
- Nutty?
- What's his wife like?

6
00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:55,697
- You know, housewife.
- Likes to cook.

7
00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:57,866
- Pregnant.
- Normal, then.

8
00:01:58,076 --> 00:01:59,910
I wouldn't go that far.

9
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:01,620
- Helen. Hi.
- Oh, hi, Betty.

10
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,581
- Hi, Dave.
- Just look at you.

11
00:02:04,749 --> 00:02:07,084
- Any day now.
- Say hi to my sister, Ruth...

12
00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:09,378
Tell me if you heard this one.

13
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:12,089
- A duck walks into a drugstore.
- Ha, ha.

14
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,758
He says, "I'd like some lip gloss."

15
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,928
The clerk says, "Certainly, sir.
Will this be cash or check?"

16
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:21,849
- The duck says, "Put it on my bill." Ah?
- Ha-ha-ha.

17
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,269
Oh, brother.

18
00:02:25,436 --> 00:02:28,397
He was a golden-boy professor
at Caltech.

19
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:30,315
But then he started inventing things.

20
00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:35,821
He suddenly became very rich,
and that was it, he quit teaching.

21
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:39,825
- How's that?
- Just what the doctor ordered. Ha, ha!

22
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:45,122
Calvin spends all of his time out there,
tinkering around in the workshop.

23
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,624
If you ask me, it's all very strange.

24
00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:49,126
Same is true of batteries.

25
00:02:49,335 --> 00:02:54,965
I could take your simple yacht battery
and rig it to last a decade, easily.

26
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:56,633
Say, Helen...

27
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:59,636
what does Calvin think
about this trouble down in Cuba?

28
00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:03,432
Oh, for heaven's sakes,
please don't bring that up.

29
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:17,446
I'd say my baseball card collection
is as complete as any one I've ever seen.

30
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:20,115
Calvin? Hey, Calvin, Calvin.

31
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:23,994
Kennedy is going toe to toe
with Khrushchev on television right now.

32
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,663
- What?
- Ooh, boy.

33
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,457
On the island of Cuba...

34
00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:31,835
unmistakable evidence
has established the fact...

35
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:35,297
that a series
of offensive missile sites...

36
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:39,593
is now in preparation
on that imprisoned island.

37
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:59,529
Tower, this is Wolf 1.
I got five miles to the overhead.

38
00:03:59,697 --> 00:04:01,823
Wolf 1, Tower, report the numbers.

39
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:03,492
You're number one for the overhead.

40
00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:09,039
Tower, this is Wolf 1,
I got a problem here.

41
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:12,251
State your problem, Wolf 1.
Are you declaring an emergency?

42
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:14,336
Stand by, 1.

43
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:17,339
Additional sites appear
to be designed...

44
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:19,508
for intermediate-range
ballistic missiles...

45
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:23,053
and thus capable of striking
most of the major cities...

46
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:25,389
in the western hemisphere.

47
00:04:25,556 --> 00:04:30,227
Folks, given this extraordinary turn
of events...

48
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:33,021
I think it's prudent
we cut this evening short.

49
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:35,440
I'm sure this Cuban thing
will resolve itself...

50
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:36,858
but in the meantime...

51
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:40,696
I suggest we take
a prayerful watch-and-wait stance.

52
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,241
Okay, folks, let's go.

53
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,702
Bye, Helen.
Wish it could have been longer.

54
00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:48,453
- My coat.
- Oh, here you go.

55
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:50,789
I'll call you, Betty.

56
00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:55,210
What did I tell you?

57
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:57,754
Thank you.

58
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,427
I'm not gonna let this pot roast
go to waste.

59
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:06,972
Calvin, could you put that seat cushion
back on the lawn chair, honey?

60
00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:09,308
Shouldn't we at least
turn off the phonograph?

61
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:12,269
- It shuts off automatically.
- Oh. Did you rig it to do that?

62
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,438
- They all do.
- Oh.

63
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:16,273
I never know anymore.

64
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:22,612
I'll bet that's a fighter jet
on its way to Key West.

65
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:24,114
Good luck, amigo.

66
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,158
An emergency has been declared.

67
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,909
An emergency has been declared.

68
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:32,289
You hear that?
I'll come back for the radio.

69
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,459
Oh, Calvin, I wish you would've
at least let me do the dishes.

70
00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:39,129
It's not gonna be easy to get
all this dried-on food off my nice plates.

71
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,965
I just hope those plates
are not radioactive by tomorrow.

72
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,593
Well, cheese
is particularly troublesome.

73
00:05:44,802 --> 00:05:46,803
I've got secondaries of an engine fire.

74
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:49,431
I'm gonna need to find a clear area
to eject.

75
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:52,976
Roger, Wolf 1.
Can you make it to the ocean?

76
00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:56,730
Roger that, Tower.

77
00:05:56,939 --> 00:06:03,153
I'm marking the 180 radial for five
and ejecting, Tower.

78
00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,738
Roger, Wolf 1.

79
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:20,504
So how long will we
have to stay down here?

80
00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:23,340
For this thing to blow over
could take days.

81
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:26,093
Days? Honey, what if I go into labor?

82
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,303
That could happen any time now.

83
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:29,513
I've read up on it.

84
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:33,475
If I have to,
I'll deliver the baby myself.

85
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,711
Home, sweet home.

86
00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:03,171
To you, maybe.

87
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:18,562
- Are you all right?
- I think so.

88
00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:25,402
Aah! It's happened.
Aah, look at that heat.

89
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:30,198
All my surface indicators knocked out.
Oh, Lord!

90
00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:31,908
It's happened.

91
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,125
What was that noise?

92
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,045
The locks.

93
00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:46,631
The locks?

94
00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:52,429
To keep us from trying to leave.

95
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:56,475
There's a radiation half-life
after an atomic blast.

96
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:58,101
It lasts 35 years.

97
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:00,937
Thirty-five years?

98
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:05,984
Then, after that, it's safe to go up.

99
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:13,783
According to Caltech, this Webber guy
was a bona fide genius...

100
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:15,619
but a borderline nutcase.

101
00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:19,748
Well, he and Mrs. Nutcase must have
been out here when the plane hit.

102
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,667
Unless we get a postcard or something,
that'd be my guess.

103
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:26,296
- What about relatives?
- They're all back east.

104
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:29,966
Neighbors over there said
the guy spent day and night out here.

105
00:08:30,134 --> 00:08:34,471
She'd bring him sandwiches
and hot Dr Pepper.

106
00:08:35,806 --> 00:08:38,975
- He drank it hot?
- Yeah.

107
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,520
Good God.

108
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:01,957
Hi, hon. Feeling better?

109
00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:03,458
No.

110
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,252
We have to be strong...

111
00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:09,214
if not for ourselves, for the child.

112
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:15,345
All our friends....

113
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,681
Burnt to a crisp.

114
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:22,727
- I'm not hungry.
- Hot Dr Pepper. Your favorite.

115
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:25,814
No, Calvin, your favorite.

116
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:28,567
Really?

117
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:34,573
Chilly? Shouldn't be.

118
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:38,243
- Temperature's a nice 73 degrees.
- Oh, maybe I've just got the creeps.

119
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,787
How could you? This is just like home.

120
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,873
No. No, Calvin.

121
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:46,585
This is different, believe me.

122
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:48,420
Would you like a tranquilizer?

123
00:09:49,797 --> 00:09:54,301
- You've got tranquilizers?
- I told you, I have everything.

124
00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:57,846
- What?
- Oh.

125
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,473
Oh, hon.

126
00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:05,312
It's gonna be all right.
Yeah. Just breathe.

127
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,481
I'll get my stuff.

128
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:15,363
Oh, it's a good day
For singin' a song

129
00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:18,658
And it's a good day
For movin' along

130
00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:22,579
Yes, it's a good day
How could anything go wrong?

131
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,248
A good day
From mornin' till night

132
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,417
- Yes it's a good day
- It's a lovely day

133
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:28,668
For shinin' your shoes

134
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:31,087
- And it's a good day
- If you want a silver linin'

135
00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:32,297
For losin' the blues

136
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,591
Everything to gain
And nothing to lose

137
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,969
'Cause it's a good day
From mornin' to night

138
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:39,179
You're right!

139
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:42,849
I said to the sun "Good mornin', sun!"

140
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:46,311
- Is there a problem?
- No, Calvin, babies cry.

141
00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:49,856
- I've noticed.
- What should we call him?

142
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:51,858
I don't know.

143
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:54,861
Well, I was thinking
in light of the situation...

144
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:56,905
we should call him Adam.

145
00:10:57,073 --> 00:11:01,034
- That's not sacrilegious, is it?
- No, I think it's just right.

146
00:11:02,286 --> 00:11:05,622
And I was wondering if.... If....

147
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:09,167
Whatever you want, Helen.

148
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:10,794
I want a bedroom ceiling.

149
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,341
You got it.

150
00:11:19,136 --> 00:11:22,305
'Cause it's a good day
For payin' your bills

151
00:11:22,473 --> 00:11:25,600
And it's a good day
For curin' your ills

152
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:29,062
So take a deep breath
Throw away all your pills

153
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,523
'Cause it's a good day
From mornin' till night

154
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,567
See, I flick this switch...

155
00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:38,071
and the image is projected
onto a mirror...

156
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:41,324
and the picture comes out here,
and it's perfect.

157
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,461
- Well, almost perfect.
- Jackie Gleason.

158
00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:58,007
You know something? People will
never get tired of watching these.

159
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:08,852
Lord...

160
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:12,188
bless this food, this family...

161
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:15,024
and make us ever mindful
of the needs of others.

162
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:18,027
- Amen.
- Amen.

163
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:19,821
Let's eat.

164
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,797
Calvin?

165
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:42,218
- Out here, hon.
- Oh, there you are.

166
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,346
We've looked all over for you.

167
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,767
What are you doing back here?

168
00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:52,395
- I was just examining this rear hatchway.
- Why?

169
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:58,401
Well, it's pretty clear that when the bomb
went off, the front entrance caved in...

170
00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:02,655
so, you know, we'll have to return
to the surface using this back entrance...

171
00:13:02,823 --> 00:13:05,658
which is very nice
because it has the service elevator.

172
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:10,455
- Unless it's caved in too.
- Well, yes.

173
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:15,794
- You wanted to see me?
- Yes. You ready, Adam? Watch this.

174
00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:19,798
He can stand up all by himself.
Show Daddy.

175
00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:22,759
- All by himself. Stand up, Adam.
- That's my guy.

176
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,010
Stand up.

177
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,262
My son.

178
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:30,767
Up, Adam, to the moon.

179
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,575
Hey, boss.

180
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:48,952
What do you make of this?

181
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:51,621
- Damned if I know.
- Bet it's some kind of septic tank.

182
00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:53,957
Never seen a septic tank
that looked like that.

183
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:57,210
Don't fool with it. If it is a septic tank,
I don't wanna open it.

184
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:59,212
We'll just lay the foundation over it.

185
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:09,097
"In Wonderland."

186
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:13,852
I'd like to see the public school system
match that. I don't care how terrific it is.

187
00:14:14,019 --> 00:14:16,187
Don't you think
he's a little young for school?

188
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:19,232
People have no idea
what the human mind is capable of.

189
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:24,445
Look, Daddy. Alice went down a hole,
just like us.

190
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:27,073
Will I ever get to go up on top?

191
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:30,910
Yes, you certainly will,
and you'll find a nice girl...

192
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:33,705
and rebuild America
just the way it used to be.

193
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:37,834
Oh, Calvin. I'm not sure we should be
making promises that perhaps can't be kept.

194
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:40,003
I'm convinced there'll be
other survivors.

195
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:43,256
In fact, I'm guessing there's life
on the surface even now.

196
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:47,510
Not life worth living, perhaps,
but believe me...

197
00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:49,637
something is moving around up there.

198
00:15:03,777 --> 00:15:06,446
I'm gonna need two more
banana splits and a Cherry Coke.

199
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:08,031
You bet, Mom. Coming up.

200
00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:11,367
Oh, by the way, Mom, thanks for the job.

201
00:15:11,535 --> 00:15:13,870
- Buck-15 an hour.
- He's cute.

202
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:18,833
Your husband is crazy.

203
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:22,045
All right, what's the big news?

204
00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:26,299
- Ha-ha-ha. Ah.
- Oh, you're a riot.

205
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:31,304
Oh, what a riot you are. Ha-ha-ha.

206
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:34,265
- Watch this.
- Very funny. Ha-ha-ha!

207
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,309
- Ha-ha-ha!
- You're a real riot.

208
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,728
They're coming now to put you
on a stage.

209
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,022
There's been complaints
about me on the bus.

210
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:44,108
He's sending me
to the company psychiatrist.

211
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,778
- Psychiatrist?
- Yeah, psychiatrist.

212
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:50,365
- And that means I'm crazy.
- Oh, don't be silly, Ralph.

213
00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:53,826
Just sending you to a psychiatrist
doesn't mean you're crazy.

214
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:56,120
Stick it. That's right.

215
00:15:56,288 --> 00:16:00,333
Hook off the jab. That's right.
Bob and weave. Bob and weave.

216
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:01,834
Okay. Bob and weave.

217
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:05,338
Excuse me, boys,
but I believe it's my turn now.

218
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:19,978
Three, four, five...

219
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:23,439
five, six, six, spin.

220
00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:36,661
- May I cut in?
- You certainly may.

221
00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:38,955
Thank you, sir.

222
00:17:14,908 --> 00:17:18,995
I miss those nice flower-power kids.
How about you?

223
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,539
Ugh.

224
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:25,209
I've heard people say

225
00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:30,423
What the hell kind of music is that?

226
00:17:31,925 --> 00:17:33,968
Oh, man.

227
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:36,471
I'm not sure I like that.

228
00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:39,640
Change it.

229
00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:42,894
We've shared love and made love

230
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,189
It's just not enough

231
00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:48,816
Oh, oh, babe

232
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:54,989
My darling, I

233
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:58,409
Can't get enough of your love, babe

234
00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:01,871
These are stock certificates.

235
00:18:02,039 --> 00:18:05,750
Your mom and I bought them for you.

236
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:11,089
Of course, they're worthless now,
but at one time they were quite valuable.

237
00:18:11,298 --> 00:18:13,966
They're pretty. Could I have them?

238
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,384
Heh. Sure.

239
00:18:15,552 --> 00:18:19,680
Now, let's move on to our French exam.

240
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:22,975
Latin exam, Dad. It's Tuesday.

241
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:29,690
Gosh, it is Tuesday.
Time flies, doesn't it?

242
00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:47,917
You have a wonderful sense
of humor, son, I must say.

243
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:52,421
The acorn does not fall very far
from the tree.

244
00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:56,717
Oh, no! Agh! Oh, jeez. No.

245
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,094
- I got you.
- I got...

246
00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:01,222
- Hi, hon.
- Hi.

247
00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:07,562
This is wonderful.

248
00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:12,650
It's my baseball card collection.
It's yours now.

249
00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:17,196
- What's baseball?
- It's a game, son.

250
00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:21,534
I can explain it pretty easily.
You see, there's a pitcher.

251
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,619
Oh, like a painting?

252
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,622
No. A pitcher.

253
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:28,875
Like one of Mom's?

254
00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:33,129
No, there's a man who throws the ball
to a man who has a bat.

255
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:36,674
- Oh, the nocturnal flying mammal?
- No.

256
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:05,077
I'm selling this place.
I want out of this hellhole.

257
00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:07,997
Whoa. Uh....

258
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,790
Could I, uh...?

259
00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:12,835
If you sell, uh....

260
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,504
Me.... Could I, uh...?

261
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:18,716
- Buy it from me?
- Yeah, yeah, that's it.

262
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:22,845
- I'll give it to you, no money down.
- Cool.

263
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,515
This neighborhood's going to hell,
anyway.

264
00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:31,646
At last! I am master of all I survey!

265
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:36,776
No, no. Listen.

266
00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:40,154
I'm only gonna explain this
one more time.

267
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,907
The runner on second goes to third.

268
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,743
- It's... He's out there.
- Why?

269
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:49,247
Because he's forced out.
It's... It's a force.

270
00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:54,585
- Then why go there?
- Because he must.

271
00:20:54,753 --> 00:20:57,922
- Calvin.
- Coming.

272
00:21:00,717 --> 00:21:01,884
Yes, dear?

273
00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,262
You get the presents,
I'll get the lights.

274
00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:05,972
You bet.

275
00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:11,852
Happy birthday to you

276
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:15,856
And many more

277
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:17,483
Ha!

278
00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:20,611
Thanks, Mom. Thank you, Dad.

279
00:21:20,862 --> 00:21:21,904
Blow out the candles.

280
00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:23,823
- Make a wish.
- Um....

281
00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:31,372
Here.

282
00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:42,925
Oh, boy, a jacket.

283
00:21:43,093 --> 00:21:46,095
- Your mom made that all by herself.
- No kidding?

284
00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:50,099
No kidding. Who else would have done it?

285
00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:52,310
I made these.

286
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:02,695
Holy cow.

287
00:22:02,904 --> 00:22:04,780
What the heck are these?

288
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:08,284
It's your roller skates, yup.
I redesigned them.

289
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:11,287
These are really swell. I mean swell.

290
00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:13,122
Well, what did you wish for, son?

291
00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:16,167
- If he tells, it won't come true.
- That's a bunch of baloney.

292
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:20,212
- My family never believed that.
- Well, we did, in my family.

293
00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:22,923
I wished that I could meet a girl.

294
00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:27,303
- Oh, well, a nice one?
- Yes, ma'am.

295
00:22:27,512 --> 00:22:31,974
- One that doesn't glow in the dark.
- Calvin Webber, what a thing to say.

296
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:35,311
Well, we'll be going up in two years.
We'll know then.

297
00:22:35,479 --> 00:22:36,687
I'm very hopeful.

298
00:22:38,065 --> 00:22:39,231
Me too.

299
00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:40,649
- Elbows, son.
- Mm?

300
00:22:40,817 --> 00:22:43,444
Oh, I'm sorry, Mom.
What the heck am I thinking tonight?

301
00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:46,989
Well, you never know.
You might someday dine with the president.

302
00:22:47,157 --> 00:22:49,241
If we still have one. Ha, ha.

303
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:54,288
You know, when we do go up,
I'm gonna miss this place.

304
00:22:57,542 --> 00:22:58,626
How about you, hon?

305
00:23:04,841 --> 00:23:07,343
Would you please excuse me?

306
00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:10,012
No, no, no, don't get up.

307
00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:15,911
- Should we say a prayer first?
- Just open the door.

308
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,595
Long time.

309
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:38,601
Well, it's dirty...

310
00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:44,106
but it seems to be okay.

311
00:24:47,569 --> 00:24:49,361
I know you're happy.

312
00:24:52,365 --> 00:24:54,658
Do we just go on up?

313
00:24:55,619 --> 00:24:56,785
No, son.

314
00:24:56,953 --> 00:25:00,331
Now is the time
we must be at our most cautious.

315
00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:03,876
- We wait for night.
- Oh, shit.

316
00:25:04,628 --> 00:25:06,128
Helen Thomas Webber...

317
00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:09,965
maybe we have been down here
a little too long.

318
00:25:10,759 --> 00:25:12,259
Pardon her French, son.

319
00:25:12,802 --> 00:25:14,303
"Shit" is French?

320
00:25:15,639 --> 00:25:16,889
Well, it's archaic French.

321
00:25:17,057 --> 00:25:22,186
It's a 16th-century colloquialism
meaning, roughly, "good."

322
00:25:22,395 --> 00:25:24,063
Your father's right.

323
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:25,856
Well...

324
00:25:26,024 --> 00:25:27,358
shit.

325
00:25:29,861 --> 00:25:30,903
Ah.

326
00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:44,917
All of these things...

327
00:25:45,085 --> 00:25:50,548
Alcoholics Anonymous, Cocaine
Anonymous, uh, Heroin Anonymous...

328
00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:52,841
There's a Heroin Anonymous?

329
00:25:53,009 --> 00:25:56,011
Will you please shut up?

330
00:25:56,179 --> 00:25:57,555
Sorry, sorry.

331
00:25:57,722 --> 00:26:04,228
All of these things ask you to believe in
a power greater than yourself.

332
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:08,607
Well, I have lifted my eyes skyward
a time or two...

333
00:26:08,775 --> 00:26:12,486
and I certainly have not seen
anything coming from up there.

334
00:26:12,654 --> 00:26:15,030
Except a goddamn airplane.

335
00:26:15,198 --> 00:26:18,033
Which I can't afford to get on.
Ha-ha-ha!

336
00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:22,538
Whoa, earthquake. Another earthquake.

337
00:26:22,706 --> 00:26:25,958
Let her come, let her come.
Let's get this over with.

338
00:26:36,052 --> 00:26:38,679
Oh, God. Oh, God.

339
00:26:40,223 --> 00:26:42,349
Oh, God.

340
00:26:42,517 --> 00:26:44,852
Oh, my God.

341
00:26:45,061 --> 00:26:46,854
Oh, God, save me.

342
00:26:49,733 --> 00:26:52,860
For I have seen the light.

343
00:27:01,995 --> 00:27:03,912
I come...

344
00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:06,081
in peace.

345
00:27:23,016 --> 00:27:26,894
Leave my elevator alone.

346
00:27:47,874 --> 00:27:51,168
What happened to my back yard?

347
00:28:29,124 --> 00:28:30,833
Got a light, honey?

348
00:28:31,584 --> 00:28:36,088
A light? Yes, I do have a light.

349
00:28:38,258 --> 00:28:40,342
Good. Thank you.

350
00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:45,639
- So you survived the blast.
- The blast? Ha, ha.

351
00:28:45,807 --> 00:28:47,766
Honey, I've survived a host of things.

352
00:28:47,934 --> 00:28:50,894
Like the song says,
a country boy can survive.

353
00:28:51,104 --> 00:28:52,938
Did you say you were a country boy?

354
00:28:53,148 --> 00:28:56,650
Cute little old man,
if you want a boy, I can be a boy...

355
00:28:56,818 --> 00:28:58,694
and if you want a girl, I can be a girl.

356
00:28:58,862 --> 00:29:00,320
I can be whatever you want me to be.

357
00:29:00,488 --> 00:29:01,989
- Really?
- Uh-huh.

358
00:29:02,198 --> 00:29:05,075
It's all yours
for the remarkably low price of $200.

359
00:29:05,285 --> 00:29:08,579
And if you act now, I may even
throw in some free lawn furniture.

360
00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:10,330
Now, how about that?

361
00:29:10,498 --> 00:29:12,833
No. Thanks.

362
00:29:13,001 --> 00:29:16,754
- Thank you. I have to go.
- Go.

363
00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:18,881
I have to go.

364
00:29:19,048 --> 00:29:21,550
Get out of here, you old drunk.

365
00:29:26,973 --> 00:29:29,892
Surprise. Bang! Ha-ha-ha.

366
00:29:30,059 --> 00:29:31,935
Oh!

367
00:29:36,524 --> 00:29:38,525
No!

368
00:29:41,321 --> 00:29:42,988
I'm gonna give it to you straight.

369
00:29:43,156 --> 00:29:45,157
There's no point
beating around the bush.

370
00:29:45,325 --> 00:29:46,408
There were survivors.

371
00:29:46,868 --> 00:29:51,997
Apparently, the fallout
has created a subspecies, mutants.

372
00:29:53,082 --> 00:29:55,042
Mutants?

373
00:29:55,210 --> 00:29:59,004
Not a pretty sight.
Some eat out of garbage cans, others...

374
00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:01,340
Cover your ears, son, and hum.

375
00:30:01,508 --> 00:30:04,092
I mean that literally.
I mean it right now.

376
00:30:06,012 --> 00:30:09,640
Others are multisexual.

377
00:30:09,849 --> 00:30:14,186
It seems they can be both masculine
and feminine simultaneously.

378
00:30:14,354 --> 00:30:15,771
- No.
- Yes.

379
00:30:15,939 --> 00:30:17,481
- I don't believe it.
- Believe it.

380
00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:20,567
He tried to sell me his body, Helen.

381
00:30:20,735 --> 00:30:24,029
They offer lawn furniture as a come-on.

382
00:30:26,866 --> 00:30:28,075
All right.

383
00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:30,077
They have done a lot of rebuilding...

384
00:30:30,286 --> 00:30:33,497
though society, at least
as we know it, has totally collapsed.

385
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:37,000
People throw up in the streets.
Others point guns.

386
00:30:37,210 --> 00:30:39,878
There's something terribly wrong
with the automobiles.

387
00:30:40,046 --> 00:30:44,258
I can't tell you the rest, I just can't.
Maybe someday.

388
00:30:44,425 --> 00:30:47,094
- So, what do we do now?
- We stay down here.

389
00:30:47,262 --> 00:30:49,388
- We do?
- Yes. We'll make do.

390
00:30:49,556 --> 00:30:52,015
We have clothes,
we have running water from a well.

391
00:30:52,183 --> 00:30:54,810
I am convinced these mutants
will kill each other off...

392
00:30:54,978 --> 00:30:58,480
No, Calvin, we won't make do.
Not me, not Adam.

393
00:30:58,648 --> 00:30:59,982
We're going up.

394
00:31:00,149 --> 00:31:02,568
I don't care how horrible it is.
We deserve it.

395
00:31:02,735 --> 00:31:06,071
- I am the head of this household.
- I want him to at least see the sky.

396
00:31:06,239 --> 00:31:08,866
- We will.
- The ocean, a mountain.

397
00:31:09,033 --> 00:31:11,326
Do as I say!

398
00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:20,878
- Dad?
- Ugh!

399
00:31:21,045 --> 00:31:22,588
- Son...!
- Oh, Adam.

400
00:31:22,755 --> 00:31:24,965
Oh, my goodness.
Let's get him to the bedroom.

401
00:31:26,342 --> 00:31:29,261
He seems to be doing all right now.

402
00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:31,346
I don't know if he had a heart attack...

403
00:31:31,514 --> 00:31:35,017
or just a horrifying experience,
but we need supplies...

404
00:31:35,184 --> 00:31:37,269
and I've gotta stay with him.

405
00:31:37,437 --> 00:31:38,604
I'll go up.

406
00:31:39,397 --> 00:31:42,816
- I'm afraid you must.
- I'll be all right.

407
00:31:43,401 --> 00:31:45,569
My brave boy.

408
00:31:47,488 --> 00:31:51,241
Just act normal.
And if anyone asks, simply say:

409
00:31:51,409 --> 00:31:53,702
"I'm from out of town.
I'm here on business."

410
00:31:53,870 --> 00:31:56,163
- Here on business.
- Write that down.

411
00:31:56,664 --> 00:31:59,291
Now, I'm gonna give you
a shopping list and some money.

412
00:31:59,459 --> 00:32:02,044
We'll need enough to get
through the next year or two.

413
00:32:02,211 --> 00:32:05,631
You'll find these items at what used
to be called a grocery store...

414
00:32:05,798 --> 00:32:08,008
or a hardware store. Write that down.

415
00:32:08,176 --> 00:32:11,178
I don't know how far
you'll have to travel to find supplies...

416
00:32:11,346 --> 00:32:15,390
but if you can't get home by nightfall,
I want you to look for a Holiday Inn.

417
00:32:15,558 --> 00:32:20,479
It's a hotel. Write that down.
There might still be one left standing.

418
00:32:20,647 --> 00:32:22,105
Oh.

419
00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:25,692
- Well, let's get you packed.
- Right.

420
00:32:25,860 --> 00:32:27,736
Just hope this is still good up there.

421
00:32:27,904 --> 00:32:29,655
- Say, Mom?
- Yes, dear?

422
00:32:29,822 --> 00:32:31,531
I was wondering, um...

423
00:32:31,699 --> 00:32:34,660
you know, while I was up there
and all, I was thinking....

424
00:32:34,827 --> 00:32:38,288
Well, you know,
I was wondering if maybe I could, uh...

425
00:32:38,915 --> 00:32:40,749
meet a girl.

426
00:32:41,542 --> 00:32:45,587
I've been thinking about that a little.
Just these last 15 years or so.

427
00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:49,174
Oh, Adam, it would be wonderful
if you could meet a girl.

428
00:32:49,342 --> 00:32:52,219
One who's not a mutant
and hopefully comes from Pasadena.

429
00:32:52,387 --> 00:32:55,597
Nothing against Valley girls,
but in my day, anyhow...

430
00:32:55,765 --> 00:32:59,476
girls from Pasadena, I don't know,
just always seemed a little bit nicer.

431
00:32:59,644 --> 00:33:04,064
Oh, and, son, there's also something
called a liquor store.

432
00:33:04,232 --> 00:33:05,816
Write that down.

433
00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:07,859
Liquor store.

434
00:33:25,128 --> 00:33:26,795
Calvin?

435
00:33:32,969 --> 00:33:34,177
Son.

436
00:33:41,352 --> 00:33:42,728
Adam.

437
00:33:42,895 --> 00:33:44,146
Yes, Father?

438
00:33:44,313 --> 00:33:50,610
Don't forget:
Stay out of the adult bookstore.

439
00:33:51,195 --> 00:33:54,406
Adult bookstore. Why?

440
00:33:55,408 --> 00:33:59,578
Poison gas. Invisible.

441
00:34:01,205 --> 00:34:02,873
Don't forget.

442
00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:05,959
I promise. Is that all?

443
00:34:06,127 --> 00:34:07,669
Uh.

444
00:34:12,050 --> 00:34:13,216
One more thing.

445
00:34:15,553 --> 00:34:20,515
If you find a healthy young woman...

446
00:34:22,268 --> 00:34:24,227
bring her on down.

447
00:34:25,688 --> 00:34:27,064
Yes, sir.

448
00:34:27,648 --> 00:34:29,107
Uh.

449
00:34:49,587 --> 00:34:51,213
Are you all right?

450
00:34:51,380 --> 00:34:55,050
Yes, yes. Oh, Lord, yes.

451
00:34:55,218 --> 00:34:58,970
Are you the one who came last night
all in yellow?

452
00:34:59,180 --> 00:35:02,933
All in yellow? Oh, that was my father.

453
00:35:03,726 --> 00:35:05,769
Oh, of course. The father.

454
00:35:06,562 --> 00:35:11,233
Forgive me.
Can you forgive me for my wasted life?

455
00:35:11,442 --> 00:35:13,318
Everything has been so awful.

456
00:35:13,569 --> 00:35:16,404
I know, it has been terrible.

457
00:35:16,572 --> 00:35:18,740
But it's not your fault.

458
00:35:18,908 --> 00:35:22,327
And now that all the decay is over with,
things are going to get better.

459
00:35:22,954 --> 00:35:26,706
- You understand?
- Yes, yes.

460
00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:32,087
- Well, I have to go now.
- Of course, of course you do.

461
00:35:32,255 --> 00:35:36,216
- I'll stay here and pray.
- See, now, that's always a good idea.

462
00:35:36,425 --> 00:35:37,759
Yeah.

463
00:35:38,302 --> 00:35:39,761
How do I leave this place?

464
00:35:40,429 --> 00:35:42,139
Uh, the front door is open.

465
00:35:43,599 --> 00:35:45,475
Will you be back?

466
00:35:46,269 --> 00:35:47,602
I promise.

467
00:36:25,474 --> 00:36:26,892
What?

468
00:36:27,059 --> 00:36:28,685
What is it?

469
00:36:29,270 --> 00:36:30,312
The sky.

470
00:36:30,980 --> 00:36:34,774
- The sky? Where?
- Up there.

471
00:36:35,318 --> 00:36:37,819
- I don't see anything.
- Just look.

472
00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:39,988
What is it?

473
00:36:40,156 --> 00:36:42,908
He says he sees something.

474
00:36:46,662 --> 00:36:48,079
- What is it?
- The sky.

475
00:36:48,289 --> 00:36:49,331
I see it, Mommy.

476
00:36:49,498 --> 00:36:53,168
I have never in my life
seen anything like it before.

477
00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:56,004
Or like you.

478
00:37:02,887 --> 00:37:04,179
What are you looking at?

479
00:37:04,347 --> 00:37:07,682
Oh, my lucky stars, a Negro.

480
00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:10,101
- Say what?
- How do you do, ma'am?

481
00:37:10,311 --> 00:37:11,937
I do all right.

482
00:37:12,146 --> 00:37:16,233
- Ha, ha. Good.
- Okay?

483
00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:20,237
What is it? What do you see?

484
00:37:20,404 --> 00:37:23,114
Oh, we were just looking at the...

485
00:37:23,282 --> 00:37:24,824
- Oh, no!
- What?

486
00:37:24,992 --> 00:37:28,203
Poisonous gas! Run for your life!
Run! Run! Run for your life!

487
00:37:28,371 --> 00:37:31,539
Invisible poisonous gas!

488
00:37:35,962 --> 00:37:37,462
- You know...
- Aah!

489
00:37:39,924 --> 00:37:41,967
I just wanna say...

490
00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:44,886
I think he's gonna be fine.

491
00:37:45,721 --> 00:37:48,807
Thank you, Calvin. Thank you very much.

492
00:37:48,975 --> 00:37:50,267
He's smart.

493
00:37:50,434 --> 00:37:52,727
Yes, dear, I know.

494
00:37:53,271 --> 00:37:56,064
But he's still such a baby.

495
00:37:56,232 --> 00:37:58,900
He's a man.

496
00:37:59,068 --> 00:38:00,819
He's a baby man.

497
00:38:01,779 --> 00:38:06,574
I tried to give the driver this,
but he wouldn't take it.

498
00:38:07,660 --> 00:38:09,744
Seems kind of angry.

499
00:38:10,246 --> 00:38:11,705
Lot of people do.

500
00:38:11,872 --> 00:38:14,958
Oh, boy. Here we go.

501
00:38:15,126 --> 00:38:17,711
Hold on, everyone. Hold on.

502
00:38:17,878 --> 00:38:19,921
Wow. Ha-ha-ha.

503
00:38:20,089 --> 00:38:22,215
So this is public transportation.

504
00:38:22,383 --> 00:38:25,885
My father says it becomes more and
more important because of pollution...

505
00:38:26,053 --> 00:38:30,223
which is more and more carbon dioxide
and other hazardous gases in the air.

506
00:38:31,475 --> 00:38:33,268
Do you have a gun, by the way?

507
00:38:36,272 --> 00:38:39,399
Oh. Well, thank you
for not waving it around.

508
00:38:39,567 --> 00:38:42,277
And for not vomiting, for that matter.

509
00:38:42,486 --> 00:38:45,613
Say, do you know
where I could find a grocery store?

510
00:38:46,032 --> 00:38:47,073
I have to find that.

511
00:38:47,241 --> 00:38:49,451
That and a hardware store
and a liquor store...

512
00:38:49,618 --> 00:38:52,120
- ...and a standing Holiday Inn.
- Uh... Uh...

513
00:38:52,288 --> 00:38:55,123
- ...there's a grocery store up the street.
- Where? Where?

514
00:38:55,291 --> 00:38:56,750
- Up there.
- Oh, thank you.

515
00:38:56,917 --> 00:39:00,587
Driver, please stop the bus immediately.
I wish to get off.

516
00:39:00,796 --> 00:39:03,590
- Please stop the bus, sir.
- Stop the bus!

517
00:39:07,345 --> 00:39:09,804
- Paper or plastic?
- Paper, please.

518
00:39:10,014 --> 00:39:11,639
Do you have a club card?

519
00:39:13,267 --> 00:39:14,309
Here you go.

520
00:39:14,477 --> 00:39:16,728
I need a price check on Register 4...

521
00:39:16,896 --> 00:39:18,563
Diet Dr Pepper six-pack.

522
00:39:22,526 --> 00:39:24,444
- Ah-ha!
- Ha.

523
00:39:28,491 --> 00:39:31,826
A manager to the front,
check approval, Register 1.

524
00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:33,078
Can I help you?

525
00:39:33,245 --> 00:39:36,498
Oh, yes. Uh, I'd like to get
some all-beef patties.

526
00:39:36,665 --> 00:39:37,832
Fresh or frozen?

527
00:39:38,793 --> 00:39:43,088
Come on. Frozen. How much are they?

528
00:39:43,339 --> 00:39:46,007
Frozen they're 6.30 a dozen
in a 3-pound box.

529
00:39:46,175 --> 00:39:48,468
Twelve into 900 is 75.

530
00:39:48,677 --> 00:39:52,097
That's almost $500
just for the hamburger.

531
00:39:52,264 --> 00:39:54,849
My mother only gave me $3000
for everything.

532
00:39:55,059 --> 00:39:56,935
The yacht batteries, the pipe tobacco...

533
00:39:57,103 --> 00:40:00,271
the diesel oil, the bleach,
the floss, the birthday candles....

534
00:40:00,439 --> 00:40:03,525
You could get a meat order that big
delivered to your home.

535
00:40:03,692 --> 00:40:05,610
- Really?
- Sure.

536
00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:08,363
Oh, well, that's terrific. Heh.

537
00:40:09,323 --> 00:40:12,575
Except it just occurred to me
that I don't know where home is.

538
00:40:14,370 --> 00:40:15,995
I'm lost.

539
00:40:16,163 --> 00:40:18,331
- Do you know where I live?
- No.

540
00:40:18,541 --> 00:40:20,959
- Will you please excuse me?
- Gladly.

541
00:40:21,710 --> 00:40:23,294
Thank you.

542
00:40:47,736 --> 00:40:50,989
Driver, please stop the bus.

543
00:41:19,435 --> 00:41:21,769
- Hello.
- Hi.

544
00:41:21,937 --> 00:41:25,607
The name's Adam Webber,
and I see that you buy baseball cards.

545
00:41:25,774 --> 00:41:28,401
Although these are older
than the ones in the window...

546
00:41:28,569 --> 00:41:30,570
I was hoping
that you still might be interested.

547
00:41:30,738 --> 00:41:32,906
Uh... Oh, ahem.

548
00:41:33,073 --> 00:41:35,700
How much you want for this
Mickey Mantle rookie season?

549
00:41:35,868 --> 00:41:38,203
Well, I was hoping
to sell all of the cards.

550
00:41:38,412 --> 00:41:40,413
Really? No kidding?

551
00:41:40,581 --> 00:41:43,625
All I have are hundred-dollar bills.
I need something smaller.

552
00:41:43,792 --> 00:41:46,377
- You know, ones, tens, fives.
- I see what you mean.

553
00:41:46,545 --> 00:41:47,795
I'll tell you what.

554
00:41:47,963 --> 00:41:52,634
How about I give you $500
in small bills for the whole box?

555
00:41:54,303 --> 00:41:57,055
- That would be wonderful.
- Ah, shit.

556
00:41:59,141 --> 00:42:01,476
I'm working here, Evie-poo,
don't screw me up.

557
00:42:01,685 --> 00:42:04,896
Yeah, I can see you're working,
all right.

558
00:42:07,983 --> 00:42:09,400
Oh, you're French?

559
00:42:10,194 --> 00:42:14,155
No. I'm from out of town.
I'm here on business.

560
00:42:14,323 --> 00:42:16,616
Your business must not
be sports memorabilia...

561
00:42:16,784 --> 00:42:18,826
because this one Mantle card right here?

562
00:42:18,994 --> 00:42:22,163
Worth $6000 all by its itty-bitty self.

563
00:42:22,331 --> 00:42:25,291
- Get out of here.
- No, you get out of here.

564
00:42:25,501 --> 00:42:28,086
Terrific. You're fired,
you know that, huh?

565
00:42:28,295 --> 00:42:30,797
- I quit.
- No, no, no, I fired you.

566
00:42:31,006 --> 00:42:33,508
Just like the hair-salon guy
and the Chevy dealer.

567
00:42:33,759 --> 00:42:36,344
You know why
you can't keep a goddamn job?

568
00:42:36,512 --> 00:42:39,138
Because you can't keep
your goddamn mouth shut.

569
00:42:39,348 --> 00:42:41,349
Excuse me,
but I'd really appreciate it...

570
00:42:41,517 --> 00:42:44,102
if you wouldn't take
the Lord's name in vain again.

571
00:42:44,270 --> 00:42:46,271
You got a problem with that, partner?

572
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:49,774
Yes, I have a big problem with that.

573
00:42:50,818 --> 00:42:53,528
Come on, Heathcliff. I'll walk you out.

574
00:42:54,655 --> 00:42:57,532
Yes, ma'am, but my name's Adam.

575
00:42:57,700 --> 00:43:00,535
Ha! Adam and Eve, the perfect match.

576
00:43:00,703 --> 00:43:03,037
I hope the two of you
will be very happy together.

577
00:43:03,247 --> 00:43:04,539
Mazel-fucking-tov.

578
00:43:04,748 --> 00:43:06,833
And don't come back, neither,
Miss Big-Shot.

579
00:43:07,001 --> 00:43:09,669
I'm serious,
you're finished in the hobby business.

580
00:43:09,878 --> 00:43:12,714
- So where are we going?
- We? I'm going home.

581
00:43:12,881 --> 00:43:15,842
Judging by that coat, you have to
get back to barber college.

582
00:43:16,010 --> 00:43:17,218
No, I'm lost.

583
00:43:17,386 --> 00:43:19,345
- Ugh. You're lost?
- Uh-huh.

584
00:43:19,513 --> 00:43:22,390
Say, did you just lose your job
back there because of me?

585
00:43:22,558 --> 00:43:25,393
Oh, forget about it.
I'm sick of working for that dickhead.

586
00:43:25,561 --> 00:43:26,728
- Dickhead?
- Yes.

587
00:43:26,895 --> 00:43:29,522
A walking penis
capable of intelligent speech.

588
00:43:29,732 --> 00:43:31,357
A dickhead.

589
00:43:31,900 --> 00:43:34,736
- What is wrong with you?
- I just had this mental picture...

590
00:43:34,903 --> 00:43:37,322
Here, help me pick these up.

591
00:43:37,489 --> 00:43:40,366
Oh, thank you.

592
00:43:41,201 --> 00:43:44,329
- Where are you parked?
- I came on a bus.

593
00:43:44,496 --> 00:43:45,913
Why does that not surprise me?

594
00:43:46,081 --> 00:43:48,082
I don't know,
why doesn't it surprise you?

595
00:43:48,334 --> 00:43:50,752
Well, I guess because
I'm a little psychic.

596
00:43:50,919 --> 00:43:54,088
- I have this thing.
- Oh, that's nice.

597
00:43:54,298 --> 00:43:58,092
Yeah. Let me guess something.
This is your first visit to la-la land.

598
00:43:58,302 --> 00:44:00,762
You're staying in Hollywood
because like an idiot...

599
00:44:00,929 --> 00:44:03,681
you thought that would be exciting.
Am I right so far?

600
00:44:03,849 --> 00:44:05,850
- So far.
- Yes, I'm right?

601
00:44:06,060 --> 00:44:07,393
- Right.
- I knew it.

602
00:44:07,561 --> 00:44:09,604
You get on a bus,
and before you know it...

603
00:44:09,772 --> 00:44:12,732
you're stuck in the
San Fernando Valley without a clue.

604
00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:14,942
- Correct again?
- Again.

605
00:44:15,110 --> 00:44:17,570
Where are you staying?

606
00:44:17,946 --> 00:44:19,238
The Holiday Inn.

607
00:44:19,406 --> 00:44:22,909
Whoa. Yes, yes, the Holiday Inn,
that's exactly right.

608
00:44:23,077 --> 00:44:26,454
See? I'm psychic. I mean,
not completely, but pretty much.

609
00:44:26,622 --> 00:44:30,208
- Pretty good, huh?
- No, it was amazing.

610
00:44:30,376 --> 00:44:31,751
Yeah, I know. Thanks.

611
00:44:31,919 --> 00:44:33,878
Anyhow, I'm gonna predict a bus for you.

612
00:44:34,046 --> 00:44:35,797
- You go down here...
- Do you own a car?

613
00:44:35,964 --> 00:44:38,716
Oh, no, sweetie.
Rule number one in North America:

614
00:44:38,884 --> 00:44:40,551
No strangers in the car.

615
00:44:40,719 --> 00:44:43,846
Well, if it'll make you feel any better,
I don't have a gun.

616
00:44:44,348 --> 00:44:45,390
Oh.

617
00:44:45,557 --> 00:44:48,893
Well, that changes everything.
Get away from me.

618
00:44:49,103 --> 00:44:51,104
Oh, no.
I'm sorry, I said something wrong.

619
00:44:51,271 --> 00:44:52,438
Please forgive me.

620
00:44:52,606 --> 00:44:54,565
- Get away from me.
- I'll make you a deal.

621
00:44:54,733 --> 00:44:57,860
I will give you a Rogers Hornsby
if you take me to the hotel.

622
00:45:00,406 --> 00:45:01,739
Rogers Hornsby?

623
00:45:02,324 --> 00:45:04,617
He's yours. I was holding him back.

624
00:45:04,827 --> 00:45:09,080
- Rogers Hornsby's worth like $4000.
- So what? I got two of them.

625
00:45:09,248 --> 00:45:14,419
And this many
Larry "Yogi" Berras and... And, uh....

626
00:45:14,628 --> 00:45:18,005
So for $4000, all I have to do
is drive you to your hotel?

627
00:45:18,173 --> 00:45:19,757
- Uh-huh. Yes.
- That's it?

628
00:45:19,925 --> 00:45:21,968
I don't have to take a physical
on your spaceship?

629
00:45:22,136 --> 00:45:24,846
No, ma'am. What?

630
00:45:32,146 --> 00:45:34,814
So, Mr. Andretti,
your first time on the freeway?

631
00:45:35,023 --> 00:45:37,024
It's Webber. Adam Webber.

632
00:45:37,192 --> 00:45:40,027
Mind if I change the station?
Better traffic reports on a.m.

633
00:45:40,195 --> 00:45:41,654
Sure.

634
00:45:41,822 --> 00:45:44,115
- Wait.
- What? What is it?

635
00:45:44,283 --> 00:45:46,284
Go back. You had him, it's Perry.

636
00:45:46,827 --> 00:45:48,953
- Perry?
- Perry Como.

637
00:45:49,121 --> 00:45:51,831
Go back, you had him. Go back, go back.

638
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:55,376
- Back, back.
- Okay, okay.

639
00:45:55,544 --> 00:45:58,087
- That's it.
- There.

640
00:46:01,550 --> 00:46:04,719
I could die right now.

641
00:46:04,970 --> 00:46:08,222
- Over this?
- Yeah.

642
00:46:08,390 --> 00:46:12,059
Happy sound
As it goes along the ground

643
00:46:12,227 --> 00:46:13,895
Listen to this part.

644
00:46:14,062 --> 00:46:17,231
This is where it really takes off.
Wait for it.

645
00:46:17,441 --> 00:46:18,983
There.

646
00:46:19,151 --> 00:46:21,360
You'll hold her round, round, round

647
00:46:21,528 --> 00:46:24,572
You are one scary son of a gun.

648
00:46:25,908 --> 00:46:29,535
And your head
Goes spinning round, round, round

649
00:46:29,703 --> 00:46:32,663
'Cause you found
What you've been dreamin' of

650
00:46:38,086 --> 00:46:39,462
You better slow down.

651
00:46:39,671 --> 00:46:42,215
I can't help it.
Perry Como always does this to me.

652
00:46:42,382 --> 00:46:44,967
I just get so cranked.

653
00:46:45,928 --> 00:46:49,555
Makes a girl and boy wanna say

654
00:46:49,723 --> 00:46:51,808
- Find the ring
- Find the ring

655
00:46:51,975 --> 00:46:54,060
And put it round, round, round

656
00:46:57,606 --> 00:47:01,442
- Card, please, end of service.
- That was wonderful.

657
00:47:01,610 --> 00:47:04,111
I've never felt anything
like that before in my life.

658
00:47:04,279 --> 00:47:07,031
Yeah, same here.
Don't forget your suitcase.

659
00:47:08,534 --> 00:47:09,951
- Right.
- You know, Eve....

660
00:47:15,415 --> 00:47:16,916
Hello.

661
00:47:17,084 --> 00:47:19,418
- Hi.
- I would like to stay at this hotel.

662
00:47:19,628 --> 00:47:22,380
Fill this out, please,
and I'll need to see a card.

663
00:47:23,757 --> 00:47:26,467
- A card?
- Yes, sir.

664
00:47:27,094 --> 00:47:30,096
Oh, of course.

665
00:47:37,020 --> 00:47:39,814
Okay, then. Ugh.

666
00:47:39,982 --> 00:47:43,734
Bathroom's there,
TV's there, remote is on top.

667
00:47:43,902 --> 00:47:46,529
Room-service menu on the table.

668
00:47:47,531 --> 00:47:49,240
Wow.

669
00:48:00,002 --> 00:48:01,752
Oh, you, uh, dial nine to get out.

670
00:48:03,672 --> 00:48:04,797
Of what?

671
00:48:06,466 --> 00:48:07,925
The hotel.

672
00:48:09,636 --> 00:48:11,262
I see.

673
00:48:13,599 --> 00:48:16,183
Well, thank you.
You've been very, very helpful.

674
00:48:16,351 --> 00:48:18,519
I managed to get some change
downstairs...

675
00:48:18,687 --> 00:48:21,355
and my father taught me
in situations such as this...

676
00:48:21,523 --> 00:48:23,816
it's customary to give a tip.

677
00:48:23,984 --> 00:48:28,571
- Well, your father's a smart guy.
- My father's a genius.

678
00:48:30,574 --> 00:48:31,699
Okay.

679
00:48:31,867 --> 00:48:35,202
All right, well, uh, here's your key,
and good night, sir.

680
00:48:35,370 --> 00:48:37,038
Thank you. Good night, sleep tight.

681
00:48:37,205 --> 00:48:40,207
Don't let the bedbugs bite.
That's what my mom always says.

682
00:48:40,375 --> 00:48:43,169
Who I'm really beginning to miss,
by the way.

683
00:48:43,587 --> 00:48:46,631
I'm sorry.
It's my first night away from home.

684
00:48:47,966 --> 00:48:49,050
How old are you?

685
00:48:50,218 --> 00:48:51,969
Thirty-five.

686
00:48:52,554 --> 00:48:55,514
- You don't look 35.
- How old do I look?

687
00:48:55,682 --> 00:48:59,810
- Oh, 25, around there.
- Hmm.

688
00:49:00,103 --> 00:49:03,147
I guess living up here
makes people look older.

689
00:49:03,815 --> 00:49:05,650
Up here on the 18th floor?

690
00:49:06,652 --> 00:49:10,404
Yes, up here on the 18th floor.
Good night.

691
00:49:23,919 --> 00:49:25,336
Yes, you're absolutely right.

692
00:49:25,504 --> 00:49:27,421
What in the hell am I doing here?

693
00:49:27,589 --> 00:49:30,925
That's what I'd like to know.
Somebody tell me that.

694
00:49:31,635 --> 00:49:38,140
Natural oils, tropical fruits,
flora, nuts, and protective sunscreens.

695
00:49:38,350 --> 00:49:41,102
A complete sun-care line
created by one man...

696
00:49:43,438 --> 00:49:45,564
for one reason...

697
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:49,443
Yes?

698
00:49:49,611 --> 00:49:52,113
Hi. This is the woman
from the baseball card store.

699
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:54,365
- Remember me?
- Oh, yes.

700
00:49:54,533 --> 00:49:58,703
Hi. Hello. Hot diggity dog.

701
00:49:58,870 --> 00:50:00,705
Thanks for calling me on the telephone.

702
00:50:07,629 --> 00:50:10,965
Ha. I'm so glad to see you.
I thought I'd never see you again.

703
00:50:11,174 --> 00:50:12,800
Yeah, okay, okay. Down, boy.

704
00:50:12,968 --> 00:50:15,970
Listen, I can't take this
for driving you home.

705
00:50:16,138 --> 00:50:17,680
I wish I could, but I can't.

706
00:50:17,848 --> 00:50:19,807
- So here, take it back.
- Uh-uh.

707
00:50:20,475 --> 00:50:23,227
I would've left it at the front desk,
but it's valuable.

708
00:50:23,437 --> 00:50:25,813
- I can't take that, it's yours.
- Take it, damn it.

709
00:50:25,981 --> 00:50:27,273
Okay.

710
00:50:27,482 --> 00:50:30,943
- Why are you doing that?
- Because I haven't brushed yet.

711
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:36,157
Oh, okay.
Well, so long. Enjoy your visit.

712
00:50:36,324 --> 00:50:40,745
- Wait. Eve, please wait.
- Please, do not follow me. Don't do it.

713
00:50:40,912 --> 00:50:43,497
Oh, I knew this would happen.
You're like a lost puppy.

714
00:50:43,707 --> 00:50:45,458
Can't you talk to me for one second?

715
00:50:45,625 --> 00:50:48,794
- Just one little second, please?
- Okay.

716
00:50:48,962 --> 00:50:51,172
Damn. I should've
taken the money and run.

717
00:50:51,339 --> 00:50:54,717
That's what Troy told me to do,
but did I listen? No.

718
00:50:54,926 --> 00:50:56,302
Will you put your hand down?

719
00:50:57,929 --> 00:51:00,598
Who's Troy? Is he your husband?

720
00:51:00,807 --> 00:51:03,100
- Or a boyfriend?
- No.

721
00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:07,688
- Thank you!
- Stop that, don't do that.

722
00:51:07,856 --> 00:51:11,484
Listen, I know you like me, okay?
I can tell.

723
00:51:11,651 --> 00:51:14,695
But you know what?
A lot of guys like me.

724
00:51:14,863 --> 00:51:16,030
Not me exactly.

725
00:51:16,198 --> 00:51:19,617
More like my legs, my butt or my hair
or some combination of the above.

726
00:51:19,785 --> 00:51:21,202
I think it's the eyes.

727
00:51:21,995 --> 00:51:23,496
The eyes?

728
00:51:23,663 --> 00:51:26,874
Great, an eye man.
Anyhow, it never works out, okay?

729
00:51:27,042 --> 00:51:29,043
Not that you even need to know that.

730
00:51:29,211 --> 00:51:31,796
You look like crap.
What have you been doing?

731
00:51:31,963 --> 00:51:34,673
Watching television in color.

732
00:51:36,051 --> 00:51:38,010
In color? No kidding.

733
00:51:38,178 --> 00:51:42,973
- Mm-hm. Cross my heart, hope to die.
- Yeah. See you.

734
00:51:43,141 --> 00:51:45,518
- Why doesn't it ever work out?
- What?

735
00:51:45,685 --> 00:51:47,686
Why doesn't it ever work out,
you and men?

736
00:51:47,854 --> 00:51:50,397
Why? Who the hell knows?

737
00:51:50,565 --> 00:51:53,067
If you promise to leave me alone,
I'll tell you why.

738
00:51:53,276 --> 00:51:54,360
Okay.

739
00:51:54,528 --> 00:51:58,906
It never works out because I am into legs
and hair and butts myself, that's why.

740
00:51:59,074 --> 00:52:01,200
I wind up with guys
who are good-looking...

741
00:52:01,368 --> 00:52:04,245
but even more shallow than I am,
if you can picture that.

742
00:52:04,412 --> 00:52:06,997
Excuse me, I have to go find
another low-paying job...

743
00:52:07,165 --> 00:52:10,668
where some guy named Jerry keeps
telling me how lousy his marriage is.

744
00:52:10,836 --> 00:52:12,711
- Why not go to work for me?
- Doing what?

745
00:52:12,879 --> 00:52:14,839
Helping me sell all my baseball cards...

746
00:52:15,006 --> 00:52:18,008
and buying enough food and supplies
to fill several trucks.

747
00:52:18,176 --> 00:52:20,886
Food and supplies?
Who for, like, starving people?

748
00:52:21,054 --> 00:52:24,557
Oh, well, they're not starving yet,
but they do need help.

749
00:52:24,766 --> 00:52:28,102
- Well, how long would you need me for?
- Two weeks.

750
00:52:28,270 --> 00:52:30,521
- What's the pay?
- What's fair?

751
00:52:30,730 --> 00:52:33,899
Well, I gotta make at least
a thousand dollars a week.

752
00:52:39,406 --> 00:52:40,698
You got it.

753
00:52:40,866 --> 00:52:43,117
- Wait here while I get changed.
- Sure.

754
00:52:46,538 --> 00:52:48,038
Sure.

755
00:52:54,129 --> 00:52:55,921
There you go.

756
00:52:56,131 --> 00:53:00,885
Why would someone need
26 yacht batteries?

757
00:53:01,052 --> 00:53:03,470
I don't know, I just work for the guy.

758
00:53:03,638 --> 00:53:05,973
And who does he work for, the CIA?

759
00:53:06,141 --> 00:53:08,392
Pipe tobacco. Ha-ha-ha.

760
00:53:09,060 --> 00:53:10,728
I'm gonna need all of this.

761
00:53:13,481 --> 00:53:15,316
Toilet paper.

762
00:53:17,485 --> 00:53:19,445
Is there a sale?

763
00:53:34,878 --> 00:53:38,172
Well, another day, another dollar.

764
00:53:44,262 --> 00:53:47,264
- Will you stop staring at me?
- Sorry.

765
00:53:47,766 --> 00:53:50,851
- I'll pick you up at 8 in the morning.
- Oh.

766
00:53:53,521 --> 00:53:56,690
- You know, Eve, I was thinking...
- Night.

767
00:53:57,025 --> 00:53:58,776
Night.

768
00:54:16,419 --> 00:54:19,880
We'll need to rent a refrigerated truck
for the beef and poultry.

769
00:54:20,048 --> 00:54:24,343
Well, it's your life.
And by the way, it's a dandy.

770
00:54:26,888 --> 00:54:29,348
Think we're also gonna have to get
another locker.

771
00:54:29,516 --> 00:54:32,393
It's no problem.
We'll just sell another baseball card.

772
00:54:34,187 --> 00:54:36,730
- Coming down.
- Okay.

773
00:54:40,402 --> 00:54:43,612
Ah, whoo. Ha-ha-ha.

774
00:54:45,740 --> 00:54:47,241
You know, Eve...

775
00:54:47,409 --> 00:54:49,994
And don't get mad, okay?

776
00:54:50,704 --> 00:54:53,747
But I would just be lost without you.

777
00:54:57,002 --> 00:54:58,335
Thanks.

778
00:54:59,421 --> 00:55:02,047
Ha-ha-ha. And I guess, uh....

779
00:55:02,716 --> 00:55:04,383
I guess that....

780
00:55:04,551 --> 00:55:07,678
- I think that you and I...
- Adam, don't even think about it, okay?

781
00:55:07,846 --> 00:55:09,972
I'm sorry, I know that sounds mean...

782
00:55:10,181 --> 00:55:12,975
but believe me, it'd be a lot meaner
if I didn't say it, okay?

783
00:55:13,143 --> 00:55:14,268
- Mm-hm.
- Okay?

784
00:55:14,436 --> 00:55:16,186
- Okay.
- Let's take this truck back...

785
00:55:16,354 --> 00:55:18,022
and I'm hungry.

786
00:55:21,234 --> 00:55:22,359
Are you getting in?

787
00:55:27,615 --> 00:55:29,575
There's something else
I'd like help with.

788
00:55:29,743 --> 00:55:30,784
Name it.

789
00:55:30,994 --> 00:55:33,620
I'm afraid this is gonna sound
a little bit crazy.

790
00:55:33,788 --> 00:55:36,749
- Heh. I'm sure it will.
- Then forget it.

791
00:55:36,958 --> 00:55:39,418
No, no. I'm sorry.

792
00:55:39,586 --> 00:55:40,711
What is it?

793
00:55:42,130 --> 00:55:45,799
Eve, I want you to help me find a wife.

794
00:55:46,051 --> 00:55:48,135
- A wife?
- Yes.

795
00:55:48,303 --> 00:55:51,555
- What for?
- Because I want to get married.

796
00:55:51,723 --> 00:55:53,140
Why?

797
00:55:53,308 --> 00:55:54,933
Because I don't want to be alone.

798
00:55:55,101 --> 00:55:59,480
Well, you can be single and not alone.
Marriage bites.

799
00:55:59,647 --> 00:56:01,648
- Bites what?
- The big one.

800
00:56:01,816 --> 00:56:04,401
- It does?
- Sure.

801
00:56:04,569 --> 00:56:07,946
- Oh, I didn't know that.
- Everybody knows that.

802
00:56:08,114 --> 00:56:12,159
Ask my divorced brothers
or my divorced mom and dad.

803
00:56:12,660 --> 00:56:14,286
Everybody knows that.

804
00:56:14,496 --> 00:56:17,748
- They're all divorced?
- Everybody's divorced.

805
00:56:19,542 --> 00:56:20,876
Wow.

806
00:56:22,462 --> 00:56:25,339
- What kind of wife you looking for?
- Hmm? Oh, um....

807
00:56:25,507 --> 00:56:28,759
Well, one who's not a mutant.

808
00:56:28,927 --> 00:56:32,596
Heh. No dogs, huh? Okay, cool.

809
00:56:33,932 --> 00:56:35,182
And if it's possible...

810
00:56:35,350 --> 00:56:37,851
I'd like to marry someone from Pasadena.

811
00:56:43,316 --> 00:56:45,818
Um, when do you need her by?

812
00:56:47,695 --> 00:56:48,821
Two weeks?

813
00:56:49,531 --> 00:56:51,573
I can probably get you laid
in two weeks...

814
00:56:51,783 --> 00:56:57,663
but to locate a non-mutant wife
from Pasadena could take some time.

815
00:56:58,289 --> 00:57:00,582
That's what I was afraid of.

816
00:57:05,839 --> 00:57:08,298
What do you mean, you can get me laid?

817
00:57:10,677 --> 00:57:13,303
- Uh, can we talk about that a little later?
- Of course.

818
00:57:13,471 --> 00:57:14,805
Great.

819
00:57:16,683 --> 00:57:19,143
Lord, bless this food
we are about to receive...

820
00:57:19,310 --> 00:57:22,354
and make us ever mindful
of the needs of others.

821
00:57:22,564 --> 00:57:24,898
And bless my mom and bless my dad...

822
00:57:25,150 --> 00:57:27,234
and bless my new friend Eve.

823
00:57:27,402 --> 00:57:29,069
Amen.

824
00:57:29,237 --> 00:57:31,155
Amen.

825
00:57:39,122 --> 00:57:40,914
- Get out.
- The engine is still running.

826
00:57:41,124 --> 00:57:42,749
Now. Get out.

827
00:57:42,917 --> 00:57:44,585
- Yes, ma'am.
- Stop the "ma'am" crap.

828
00:57:44,752 --> 00:57:46,253
I'm sorry.

829
00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:48,422
You almost got us killed.

830
00:57:48,673 --> 00:57:51,925
- I told you, I've never driven before.
- Well, never drive again.

831
00:57:52,177 --> 00:57:56,388
- You said it would be easy.
- Well, I was wrong.

832
00:57:56,556 --> 00:57:58,599
- Say, is this your house?
- Yes.

833
00:57:58,766 --> 00:58:01,727
- I like it.
- What are you bitching about now?

834
00:58:02,270 --> 00:58:05,439
- What are you doing here?
- I forgot some of my stuff.

835
00:58:05,648 --> 00:58:07,191
- Your stuff?
- Yeah.

836
00:58:07,358 --> 00:58:09,276
Let me see that.

837
00:58:09,444 --> 00:58:11,278
Oh, you came back for your underwear.

838
00:58:11,446 --> 00:58:14,531
Excuse me, these are Ralph Laurens.

839
00:58:14,699 --> 00:58:16,742
How did you get in?

840
00:58:17,368 --> 00:58:19,119
Thanks.

841
00:58:19,287 --> 00:58:21,872
And who's this
interesting-looking fellow?

842
00:58:22,081 --> 00:58:25,918
- This is Adam. Adam, this is Cliff.
- How do you do?

843
00:58:26,085 --> 00:58:27,878
I do fine, Adam.

844
00:58:28,087 --> 00:58:31,924
How about yourself?
You, uh, doing any good lately?

845
00:58:32,133 --> 00:58:34,134
Go home, Cliff, wherever that might be.

846
00:58:34,302 --> 00:58:36,053
Sheena Gilroy's apartment.

847
00:58:36,221 --> 00:58:39,556
You remember her.
She's the, uh, model who went to Harvard.

848
00:58:40,683 --> 00:58:41,725
Hmm.

849
00:58:41,893 --> 00:58:45,062
Well, I'd better be going. Bye, Adam.

850
00:58:45,230 --> 00:58:46,939
- Nice coat.
- Thank you, Cliff.

851
00:58:47,106 --> 00:58:51,151
- It was very nice to meet you.
- That's a nice parking job too.

852
00:58:51,319 --> 00:58:53,820
- May I ask you a question?
- He's a former boyfriend.

853
00:58:53,988 --> 00:58:57,908
We lived together for about six months,
and I still have sort of a thing for him.

854
00:58:58,076 --> 00:58:59,993
That's what you wanted to know,
isn't it?

855
00:59:00,203 --> 00:59:01,662
No, I was gonna ask you...

856
00:59:01,829 --> 00:59:04,498
why Cliff likes to wear
another man's underpants.

857
00:59:04,707 --> 00:59:05,832
What?

858
00:59:14,300 --> 00:59:16,385
Rhinoceros

859
00:59:18,513 --> 00:59:20,097
Rhinoceros

860
00:59:20,265 --> 00:59:23,267
This guy is unbelievable.

861
00:59:23,434 --> 00:59:24,476
I knew you'd like him.

862
00:59:24,644 --> 00:59:27,020
I know. It's like he's
from X-Files or something.

863
00:59:27,230 --> 00:59:29,856
He's got all these
easily negotiable properties, right?

864
00:59:30,024 --> 00:59:31,858
He's obviously setting up something big.

865
00:59:32,026 --> 00:59:34,361
Maybe a self-sustaining island
off South America.

866
00:59:34,529 --> 00:59:39,157
Maybe he's the leader of some cult into
practices involving poultry and tobacco.

867
00:59:40,618 --> 00:59:43,579
You just wake up

868
00:59:44,747 --> 00:59:45,789
Rhinoceros

869
00:59:45,957 --> 00:59:49,543
- You have very nice ceilings.
- Do I?

870
00:59:50,211 --> 00:59:54,006
Well, you like ceilings?

871
00:59:54,173 --> 00:59:56,133
Not particularly.

872
00:59:56,718 --> 01:00:00,846
Ah. Well, I hope you like this.
It's sea urchin wrapped in seaweed, or nori.

873
01:00:01,014 --> 01:00:02,055
I love sushi.

874
01:00:02,890 --> 01:00:06,893
- I love Lucy.
- Who doesn't? She's hilarious.

875
01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:11,273
- Here you go, one champagne cocktail.
- Oh, thank you.

876
01:00:11,482 --> 01:00:13,525
I thought only hookers
drank those things.

877
01:00:13,735 --> 01:00:15,902
Well, I know Mom sure likes them.

878
01:00:20,408 --> 01:00:22,951
Well, dinner's in 15.
Why don't we sit down and chat?

879
01:00:23,119 --> 01:00:24,453
Mm-hm.

880
01:00:24,621 --> 01:00:28,874
- So, Troy, what do you do for a living?
- Oh, I design websites.

881
01:00:29,042 --> 01:00:30,626
Mm.

882
01:00:30,793 --> 01:00:32,669
And, Adam...

883
01:00:32,837 --> 01:00:34,421
where on earth are you from?

884
01:00:34,589 --> 01:00:38,091
- Out of town. That's all he'll say.
- Mm-hm. It's a very small place.

885
01:00:38,343 --> 01:00:41,928
- People don't even know it's there.
- And it's called?

886
01:00:42,180 --> 01:00:44,264
Maybe Eve can guess.

887
01:00:44,432 --> 01:00:46,600
- She's psychic.
- Is she?

888
01:00:47,101 --> 01:00:50,896
- Since when?
- Since I got rear-ended in Palm Springs.

889
01:00:51,105 --> 01:00:54,608
Well, then, Miss Dionne Warwick,
tell us what town he's from.

890
01:00:54,817 --> 01:00:57,027
All right. Give me your hand.

891
01:00:58,446 --> 01:01:00,614
Oh, Lord.

892
01:01:00,782 --> 01:01:02,366
Okay.

893
01:01:02,533 --> 01:01:03,950
I'm not promising anything.

894
01:01:06,579 --> 01:01:08,830
- Are you okay?
- Hmm? Mm.

895
01:01:12,460 --> 01:01:14,544
I see snow.

896
01:01:15,713 --> 01:01:17,839
Lots of snow.

897
01:01:18,049 --> 01:01:19,925
Way up north.

898
01:01:20,093 --> 01:01:21,718
Are we getting hot?

899
01:01:22,595 --> 01:01:24,304
Yes.

900
01:01:26,432 --> 01:01:28,308
You live in Alaska...

901
01:01:28,476 --> 01:01:31,436
and the only way in and out
of your place is by plane.

902
01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:35,440
And, uh, you definitely came here
for food and supplies...

903
01:01:35,608 --> 01:01:37,734
and to find a wife.

904
01:01:38,152 --> 01:01:39,653
Wow.

905
01:01:40,655 --> 01:01:43,865
- That was right?
- Got goose bumps all over me.

906
01:01:44,075 --> 01:01:45,659
I'm clairvoyant, butthead.

907
01:01:45,910 --> 01:01:49,413
Well, why wouldn't you just go to Nome
to get supplies and a wife?

908
01:01:49,580 --> 01:01:51,665
- Isn't that a lot closer?
- Yeah, right.

909
01:01:51,874 --> 01:01:55,419
That's where you'd go to find girls.
Nome.

910
01:01:55,586 --> 01:01:57,337
He's gay, by the way.

911
01:01:58,464 --> 01:02:00,298
Well, good for you.

912
01:02:01,509 --> 01:02:03,593
Well, we try.

913
01:02:03,761 --> 01:02:05,262
Can I ask you some questions?

914
01:02:05,430 --> 01:02:06,763
Hmm?

915
01:02:06,931 --> 01:02:10,308
- When did Alaska become a state?
- 1959.

916
01:02:10,518 --> 01:02:12,853
Okay, and, uh, who owned it
before we did?

917
01:02:13,354 --> 01:02:15,814
- Russia.
- And when did we get it from them?

918
01:02:16,023 --> 01:02:17,691
1867, Seward's Folly.

919
01:02:17,900 --> 01:02:22,154
We purchased it for $7.2 million,
a tidy sum then as well as now.

920
01:02:22,321 --> 01:02:24,406
I'm quoting my father, of course.

921
01:02:24,615 --> 01:02:27,200
- All right, what's the state capital?
- Juneau.

922
01:02:27,410 --> 01:02:29,828
Hello? It's Anchorage. Gotcha.

923
01:02:30,037 --> 01:02:32,998
Mm-mm. Sorry, that's the largest city.

924
01:02:39,714 --> 01:02:41,047
Where's he going?

925
01:02:41,215 --> 01:02:44,050
He's going to check your answers
on his computer.

926
01:02:44,218 --> 01:02:45,719
He has a computer?

927
01:02:45,970 --> 01:02:47,888
- Sure.
- In the house?

928
01:02:48,306 --> 01:02:50,056
No, actually, it's in the back yard.

929
01:02:50,224 --> 01:02:53,727
- Of course it's in the house. It's in there.
- May I be excused, please?

930
01:02:53,895 --> 01:02:56,521
- Yeah.
- Thank you.

931
01:03:44,654 --> 01:03:46,112
Aah!

932
01:03:46,906 --> 01:03:48,490
Who are you?

933
01:03:49,784 --> 01:03:53,119
- I'm the mother.
- It's the mother.

934
01:03:53,287 --> 01:03:55,747
It's the mother. The mother.

935
01:03:55,915 --> 01:04:01,294
The mother, the mother, the mother.

936
01:04:01,546 --> 01:04:04,047
It's the mother.

937
01:04:10,888 --> 01:04:14,391
Troy, I suppose those tall buildings
we saw this morning are new?

938
01:04:14,559 --> 01:04:16,810
Yeah. Almost all of them, anyway.

939
01:04:17,019 --> 01:04:20,313
- Recovery's impressive.
- Recovery? Oh, yeah.

940
01:04:20,523 --> 01:04:23,400
Well, you know, they rebuilt
the freeway in only six months.

941
01:04:23,568 --> 01:04:25,151
- Really?
- Uh-huh.

942
01:04:25,319 --> 01:04:27,320
That's amazing. I'm very impressed.

943
01:04:27,488 --> 01:04:29,823
- Oh, it was impressive.
- Are you sure I look okay?

944
01:04:30,032 --> 01:04:32,826
- Oh, trust me, you look fabulous.
- Well, thank you, Troy.

945
01:04:34,620 --> 01:04:37,163
- Hey.
- Hey.

946
01:04:39,041 --> 01:04:41,334
So, what do you think?

947
01:04:42,503 --> 01:04:44,296
- It works.
- Mm-hm. I should show you...

948
01:04:44,463 --> 01:04:45,839
the entire trousseau.

949
01:04:46,007 --> 01:04:47,966
Shirts, sweaters, socks,
the whole thing.

950
01:04:48,134 --> 01:04:50,343
No. First let's show her these.

951
01:04:51,512 --> 01:04:53,972
Huh? Eve, can I skate around your block?

952
01:04:55,892 --> 01:04:59,436
How about it, Eve?
Can he skate around your block?

953
01:05:00,187 --> 01:05:01,354
No.

954
01:05:01,814 --> 01:05:05,817
- Just a few laps.
- It won't take long.

955
01:05:05,985 --> 01:05:07,819
Ha, ha. No.

956
01:05:24,378 --> 01:05:25,879
Look.

957
01:05:36,682 --> 01:05:38,642
Adam, will you go skate
on the bike path?

958
01:05:38,809 --> 01:05:42,020
- Where?
- The bike path. It's over there.

959
01:05:44,315 --> 01:05:46,107
God, I wish I could wear those pants.

960
01:06:08,005 --> 01:06:09,589
Hi.

961
01:06:59,306 --> 01:07:02,183
Yeah! Ha, ha!

962
01:07:05,271 --> 01:07:08,314
Yeah!

963
01:07:16,365 --> 01:07:18,283
Y.M.C.A.

964
01:07:18,451 --> 01:07:23,121
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

965
01:07:23,289 --> 01:07:26,958
They have everything
For you men to enjoy

966
01:07:27,126 --> 01:07:29,586
You can hang out with all the boys

967
01:07:29,754 --> 01:07:33,384
Its fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

968
01:07:33,550 --> 01:07:37,052
Its fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.

969
01:07:38,512 --> 01:07:41,890
You can get yourself clean
You can have a good meal

970
01:07:42,058 --> 01:07:45,518
You can do whatever you feel

971
01:07:45,686 --> 01:07:47,520
All right, girl, hit that ball.

972
01:07:57,865 --> 01:08:01,534
I get it. I finally get it.

973
01:08:01,702 --> 01:08:04,454
You have to see it to understand it.

974
01:08:06,373 --> 01:08:09,250
Because he must.

975
01:08:19,053 --> 01:08:20,678
Haven't you heard the saying:

976
01:08:20,846 --> 01:08:23,681
"He hasn't got enough sense
to come in out of the rain"?

977
01:08:23,849 --> 01:08:24,974
Yep.

978
01:08:25,142 --> 01:08:29,896
You know, my father,
who is a scientist...

979
01:08:30,064 --> 01:08:32,565
says that everything is a miracle.

980
01:08:32,775 --> 01:08:34,692
- Yeah?
- Everything.

981
01:08:34,860 --> 01:08:38,071
Until recently,
I wasn't sure what he meant by that.

982
01:08:38,239 --> 01:08:41,574
No kidding. Listen, uh, you still
wanna go girl hunting tonight?

983
01:08:41,784 --> 01:08:45,411
- Oh, yes, I certainly do.
- Okay.

984
01:08:45,579 --> 01:08:48,414
But, you know, this whole business
of finding you a wife...

985
01:08:48,582 --> 01:08:49,833
it's pretty ridiculous.

986
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:52,919
- No, it isn't.
- Yes, it is.

987
01:08:53,087 --> 01:08:55,088
A girlfriend, maybe, but a wife, it's...

988
01:08:55,297 --> 01:08:58,049
Well, then help me find a girlfriend.
That's all I ask.

989
01:08:58,217 --> 01:09:01,094
I'll tell you what. I'll give you
every single card I've got.

990
01:09:01,303 --> 01:09:04,013
Screw you. You think I'm just
somebody you can buy off?

991
01:09:04,181 --> 01:09:07,600
Oh, no, Eve, I didn't mean that at all.
Eve, you're my best friend.

992
01:09:07,810 --> 01:09:11,271
Would you do it
because you're my very best friend?

993
01:09:13,941 --> 01:09:15,775
Yeah, okay.

994
01:09:20,114 --> 01:09:21,948
Thank you, Eve.

995
01:09:29,957 --> 01:09:32,876
Well, why did we park way back there?

996
01:09:33,460 --> 01:09:37,297
Miss Rustokov does not allow
total strangers to drive her car.

997
01:09:39,133 --> 01:09:40,967
- What?
- Ladies first, Troy.

998
01:09:41,135 --> 01:09:43,469
- That was close.
- Uh-huh.

999
01:09:43,888 --> 01:09:47,265
My goodness gracious,
this place is something.

1000
01:09:47,433 --> 01:09:50,768
- Look unimpressed.
- Yeah, bored, even.

1001
01:09:51,979 --> 01:09:54,480
Try vaguely bored.

1002
01:09:54,648 --> 01:09:57,734
Unimpressed but still interested.

1003
01:09:59,236 --> 01:10:00,653
- Not crazy.
- Do I look crazy?

1004
01:10:00,821 --> 01:10:04,782
- Yes.
- Just, uh, be loose.

1005
01:10:04,950 --> 01:10:06,659
- Yeah.
- Just be yourself.

1006
01:10:06,827 --> 01:10:08,328
Yeah, that's always good advice.

1007
01:10:08,495 --> 01:10:11,289
Well, for him.
It doesn't work for the rest of us.

1008
01:10:14,501 --> 01:10:17,754
Of all the clubs in all the towns
in all the world...

1009
01:10:17,922 --> 01:10:19,464
you walk into mine.

1010
01:10:19,673 --> 01:10:23,760
So welcome to Club 40's,
where the party never stops.

1011
01:10:23,928 --> 01:10:26,512
Jason, Jonathan, this is Adam.
Adam, that's them.

1012
01:10:26,680 --> 01:10:27,847
Hi, how do you do?

1013
01:10:28,015 --> 01:10:31,476
It's very nice to meet you,
Jason and Jonathan.

1014
01:10:31,644 --> 01:10:34,437
My mother said when you meet
someone for the first time...

1015
01:10:34,605 --> 01:10:36,522
it's easier to remember their names...

1016
01:10:36,690 --> 01:10:40,526
if you use those names right away,
Jason and Jonathan.

1017
01:10:41,028 --> 01:10:42,654
He's from Alaska.

1018
01:10:43,364 --> 01:10:44,864
Oh.

1019
01:10:45,658 --> 01:10:48,368
Hi there, Eve. Who's the hunk?

1020
01:10:48,535 --> 01:10:51,287
- Get lost, Sophie.
- Hi, I'm Sophie.

1021
01:10:51,497 --> 01:10:53,164
Hi, how do you do? I'm Adam Webber.

1022
01:10:53,332 --> 01:10:55,750
- Adam lives in Alaska.
- No shit?

1023
01:10:59,880 --> 01:11:01,756
Oh, you speak beautiful French.

1024
01:11:18,941 --> 01:11:20,942
Adam. Adam.

1025
01:11:21,110 --> 01:11:22,402
Yeah? Oh, um....

1026
01:11:25,572 --> 01:11:27,532
Quit showing off.
We're here on business.

1027
01:11:27,700 --> 01:11:30,201
- I thought we were here to meet women.
- Not that one.

1028
01:11:30,369 --> 01:11:31,411
I like her.

1029
01:11:31,578 --> 01:11:33,705
Tell me, Sophie,
when you fly to Paris...

1030
01:11:33,872 --> 01:11:36,874
do you check these,
or are they carry-on?

1031
01:11:37,042 --> 01:11:39,544
- They're carry-on.
- Ah.

1032
01:11:40,963 --> 01:11:42,547
Excuse me.

1033
01:11:42,715 --> 01:11:45,008
But there's nothin' up my sleeve

1034
01:11:45,175 --> 01:11:48,845
But a place to play
Where the people all swing around

1035
01:11:49,013 --> 01:11:50,722
What are you drinking?

1036
01:11:50,889 --> 01:11:54,100
Oh, this is a Rob Roy.
It's a very popular drink, I'm told.

1037
01:11:56,770 --> 01:11:58,855
How about her?

1038
01:11:59,023 --> 01:12:01,399
- No way.
- No way?

1039
01:12:01,608 --> 01:12:03,943
Why not? I think she's very attractive.

1040
01:12:04,111 --> 01:12:07,280
Adam, she's got "bitch"
written all over her.

1041
01:12:07,531 --> 01:12:10,283
You do know what "bitch" means,
don't you?

1042
01:12:10,492 --> 01:12:12,452
Well, yes, I do. I do have a dictionary.

1043
01:12:12,619 --> 01:12:16,414
But I can't understand for the life of me
why you would say that about her...

1044
01:12:16,623 --> 01:12:19,292
or why Cliff would say that about you.

1045
01:12:21,128 --> 01:12:27,133
Okay, uh, Adam, I think for you,
we should aim for sweet.

1046
01:12:27,885 --> 01:12:29,469
Okay. I like that.

1047
01:12:29,636 --> 01:12:32,472
Yeah, sweet.
That's a lovely way of putting it.

1048
01:12:34,558 --> 01:12:37,643
There's Miss Sweet, over there
by the hors d'oeuvre table, look.

1049
01:12:37,811 --> 01:12:40,146
Oh, yeah, yeah. Could be.

1050
01:12:40,314 --> 01:12:44,275
Yeah, go on, Romeo, say hello.
She looks like a non-mutant to me.

1051
01:12:44,443 --> 01:12:46,652
Okay. All right.

1052
01:12:46,820 --> 01:12:48,237
What do I say to her?

1053
01:12:48,447 --> 01:12:53,076
Oh, say something surprising,
something funny.

1054
01:12:53,243 --> 01:12:54,744
Lie if need be.

1055
01:12:54,953 --> 01:12:56,746
- Lie?
- Oh, yeah.

1056
01:12:56,914 --> 01:13:00,333
Lying can be a very effective
dating tool.

1057
01:13:02,586 --> 01:13:05,338
Okay. All right.

1058
01:13:05,589 --> 01:13:07,673
Well, here I go.

1059
01:13:10,177 --> 01:13:11,844
I don't think I wanna watch this.

1060
01:13:12,096 --> 01:13:13,763
Surprising and funny.

1061
01:13:13,931 --> 01:13:16,682
Well, I know a duck
who bought some lip balm.

1062
01:13:17,309 --> 01:13:18,684
Lie.

1063
01:13:20,854 --> 01:13:22,355
Hi.

1064
01:13:23,190 --> 01:13:25,858
- Yes?
- I was wondering if you could help me.

1065
01:13:26,026 --> 01:13:28,194
I, um, seem to have lost...

1066
01:13:28,362 --> 01:13:32,198
my Congressional Medal of Honor
around here somewhere.

1067
01:13:33,075 --> 01:13:35,451
Ha, ha. Now, that's a great one.

1068
01:13:38,330 --> 01:13:41,958
- This is my new friend.
- Uh, hi.

1069
01:13:42,126 --> 01:13:45,628
- Adam Webber.
- Hi, I'm Heather.

1070
01:13:45,796 --> 01:13:47,004
- Heather?
- Yeah.

1071
01:13:47,172 --> 01:13:49,882
I don't believe
I've ever heard that name before.

1072
01:13:54,638 --> 01:13:55,847
Yeah, do you dance?

1073
01:13:56,014 --> 01:13:58,391
Why, I took a dance lesson
every day of my life...

1074
01:13:58,559 --> 01:14:00,351
up until a couple of days ago.

1075
01:14:00,519 --> 01:14:02,311
- You're kidding.
- No, no, I did.

1076
01:14:04,189 --> 01:14:05,231
Shall we dance?

1077
01:14:05,399 --> 01:14:06,732
- Sure.
- Yeah?

1078
01:14:10,404 --> 01:14:12,738
Wait for me.

1079
01:14:44,104 --> 01:14:46,606
He drives a great big car
Smokes a big cigar

1080
01:14:46,773 --> 01:14:49,275
He looks like a king
And he acts like a star

1081
01:14:49,443 --> 01:14:51,986
When we see him drive by
He goes "toot, toot"

1082
01:14:52,154 --> 01:14:53,946
We all shout
Hey, Mr. Zoot Suit

1083
01:14:54,114 --> 01:14:56,866
He's got purple suspenders
And a yellow tie

1084
01:14:57,034 --> 01:14:59,911
- Say what?
- Come on, boys, I tell you no lie

1085
01:15:00,078 --> 01:15:01,954
Those hats, those funky spats

1086
01:15:02,122 --> 01:15:04,624
He's the hippest hip and the coolest cat

1087
01:15:04,791 --> 01:15:07,168
I tell you no lie
This guy can't be beat

1088
01:15:07,336 --> 01:15:09,337
Wherever he goes
He turns up the heat

1089
01:15:09,505 --> 01:15:12,215
So when you see him drive by
With that big cheroot

1090
01:15:12,382 --> 01:15:15,760
Don't forget to shout
Hey, Mr. Zoot Suit!

1091
01:15:38,367 --> 01:15:40,618
I tell you no lie
This guy can't be beat

1092
01:15:40,786 --> 01:15:42,995
Wherever he goes
He turns up the heat

1093
01:15:43,163 --> 01:15:45,665
So when you see him drive by
With that big cheroot

1094
01:15:45,832 --> 01:15:48,751
Don't forget to shout
Hey, Mr. Zoot Suit!

1095
01:16:15,070 --> 01:16:17,071
Oh.

1096
01:16:21,326 --> 01:16:25,288
- Is that your girlfriend?
- No, no. Will you please excuse me?

1097
01:16:25,497 --> 01:16:28,874
- What are you doing?
- You. You go to the bathroom.

1098
01:16:29,042 --> 01:16:31,877
What, right here?
Well, I thought I should check.

1099
01:16:32,045 --> 01:16:33,963
- I mean, you're being so bossy.
- Go.

1100
01:16:34,172 --> 01:16:36,757
- Thank you both for the dance.
- Thank you.

1101
01:16:42,055 --> 01:16:44,724
I have to go to the bathroom.

1102
01:16:45,475 --> 01:16:46,851
Oh.

1103
01:16:47,686 --> 01:16:50,855
- You wanted to see me?
- You're not from Alaska.

1104
01:16:51,023 --> 01:16:52,857
Where did you learn to dance like that?

1105
01:16:53,066 --> 01:16:55,568
And there are no starving people,
are there?

1106
01:16:55,736 --> 01:16:57,236
Why are you so angry with me?

1107
01:16:57,404 --> 01:17:00,990
- You think I'm some kind of sap, do you?
- No, I don't.

1108
01:17:01,158 --> 01:17:02,408
I admire you.

1109
01:17:02,576 --> 01:17:04,994
I fell in love with you
the very moment I saw you.

1110
01:17:05,162 --> 01:17:07,079
I want you to stop lying to me.

1111
01:17:08,665 --> 01:17:11,208
All right. I'll tell you everything.

1112
01:17:11,418 --> 01:17:14,712
- In 1962...
- Well, well, well.

1113
01:17:14,921 --> 01:17:16,297
Don't we clean up nice?

1114
01:17:18,091 --> 01:17:20,217
Well, hello, Cliff.

1115
01:17:20,427 --> 01:17:23,262
- How are you this evening?
- Not bad.

1116
01:17:23,430 --> 01:17:26,015
Though I, uh, do miss
that green sport coat of yours.

1117
01:17:26,183 --> 01:17:27,433
Oh, why, thank you, Cliff.

1118
01:17:27,601 --> 01:17:29,602
But that's my seat,
and I was just about...

1119
01:17:29,770 --> 01:17:31,437
How about a drink up at the bar?

1120
01:17:39,237 --> 01:17:40,696
Sure.

1121
01:17:40,864 --> 01:17:42,698
Excuse us.

1122
01:17:43,408 --> 01:17:45,117
It's all yours.

1123
01:18:15,482 --> 01:18:17,775
- Please excuse this interruption.
- Oh, brother.

1124
01:18:17,943 --> 01:18:20,986
Eve, I don't mean to be rude,
and, Cliff, please excuse me...

1125
01:18:21,154 --> 01:18:24,156
but, Eve,
isn't Cliff just a butt with hair?

1126
01:18:24,366 --> 01:18:25,825
- What?
- I'm sorry.

1127
01:18:25,992 --> 01:18:28,744
And legs. Legs, butt and hair.

1128
01:18:28,954 --> 01:18:31,080
- And shallow as well?
- Shallow?

1129
01:18:31,289 --> 01:18:32,998
Adam, why don't you go home?

1130
01:18:33,166 --> 01:18:36,085
- Go back to the hotel.
- Yeah, before I kick your ass.

1131
01:18:37,671 --> 01:18:40,297
I must warn you, Cliff,
I do know how to defend myself.

1132
01:18:40,465 --> 01:18:42,091
Oh, do you?

1133
01:18:43,093 --> 01:18:44,427
- Agh!
- Stop it, you two.

1134
01:18:44,636 --> 01:18:46,303
Nice move, really.

1135
01:18:46,513 --> 01:18:49,473
Yeah, Eve's right.
Maybe we shouldn't fight in here.

1136
01:18:49,641 --> 01:18:51,392
I agree.

1137
01:18:52,853 --> 01:18:54,729
- Ugh.
- Adam.

1138
01:18:54,896 --> 01:18:57,273
I'm sorry. He was gonna....

1139
01:18:57,941 --> 01:18:59,483
Maybe we shouldn't fight at all.

1140
01:18:59,651 --> 01:19:02,486
I mean, fighting's pretty immature
when you think about it.

1141
01:19:02,654 --> 01:19:06,866
- It certainly is.
- Eve, I'm leaving.

1142
01:19:07,033 --> 01:19:09,535
- That's probably a good idea.
- Eve, I'm sorry.

1143
01:19:09,703 --> 01:19:12,121
- Oh!
- Gah.

1144
01:19:13,165 --> 01:19:16,834
Well, good night, everyone.

1145
01:19:18,503 --> 01:19:20,463
- Eve...
- I'm leaving too, okay?

1146
01:19:20,672 --> 01:19:21,797
And you know what?

1147
01:19:21,965 --> 01:19:24,049
If you want help, ask Troy,
because I quit.

1148
01:19:24,301 --> 01:19:29,221
This is ridiculous.
You're ridiculous and I'm ridiculous.

1149
01:19:33,059 --> 01:19:35,811
I'll buy you another Rob Roy,
huh, champ?

1150
01:19:36,229 --> 01:19:37,938
Rob Roy for the gentleman.

1151
01:19:44,321 --> 01:19:45,738
Well?

1152
01:19:46,156 --> 01:19:47,740
He go back to the hotel?

1153
01:19:47,991 --> 01:19:51,160
- Um, he might have.
- What does that mean?

1154
01:19:51,328 --> 01:19:53,746
That means
that we did not leave together.

1155
01:19:53,955 --> 01:19:55,372
Well, who did he leave with?

1156
01:19:55,540 --> 01:19:58,501
- What's that to you?
- I'm his pimp.

1157
01:19:58,668 --> 01:20:01,337
He left with those dancers, didn't he?

1158
01:20:02,255 --> 01:20:03,547
You're the psychic.

1159
01:20:03,715 --> 01:20:06,884
Eve, the psychic pimp. You tell me.

1160
01:20:07,052 --> 01:20:09,887
- Those sluts.
- Yeah.

1161
01:20:10,055 --> 01:20:12,973
Then again,
who isn't a slut these days, huh?

1162
01:20:14,559 --> 01:20:16,227
- Where are you going?
- To bed.

1163
01:20:16,394 --> 01:20:17,853
To bed?

1164
01:20:18,021 --> 01:20:19,897
Sure, to bed.

1165
01:20:20,065 --> 01:20:22,441
I'm not the one
that's in love with the guy.

1166
01:20:22,609 --> 01:20:24,777
- What? Oh.
- Mm-hm.

1167
01:20:24,945 --> 01:20:28,447
Now, hold on. Hold on just a minute.

1168
01:20:28,615 --> 01:20:31,367
In the first place,
I do not fall in love with weirdos...

1169
01:20:31,535 --> 01:20:33,702
who I've only known
for four or five days.

1170
01:20:33,870 --> 01:20:34,954
Yes, you do.

1171
01:20:35,121 --> 01:20:38,290
And I don't fall in love with grown men
who collect baseball cards.

1172
01:20:38,500 --> 01:20:39,542
Yes, you do.

1173
01:20:39,709 --> 01:20:41,877
Or pee in their pants
when they see the ocean.

1174
01:20:42,045 --> 01:20:44,880
- Yes, you do.
- Or have perfect table manners.

1175
01:20:45,048 --> 01:20:47,299
You know, I asked him about that.

1176
01:20:47,551 --> 01:20:50,386
He said good manners
are just a way of showing people...

1177
01:20:50,554 --> 01:20:52,137
that we have respect for them.

1178
01:20:52,389 --> 01:20:55,516
I didn't know that. I thought
it was a way of acting superior.

1179
01:20:55,725 --> 01:20:58,435
- Oh, you know what else he told me?
- What?

1180
01:20:58,645 --> 01:21:01,272
He thinks I'm a gentleman
and you're a lady.

1181
01:21:04,109 --> 01:21:06,735
Well... Well, consider the source.

1182
01:21:07,320 --> 01:21:09,405
- I don't even know what a lady is.
- I know.

1183
01:21:09,573 --> 01:21:12,157
I thought a gentleman
was somebody that owned horses.

1184
01:21:12,325 --> 01:21:16,287
But it turns out the short and simple
definition of a lady or a gentleman...

1185
01:21:16,580 --> 01:21:18,747
is someone who always tries
to make sure...

1186
01:21:18,915 --> 01:21:22,835
the people around him or her
are as comfortable as possible.

1187
01:21:23,003 --> 01:21:25,337
Where do you think
he got all that information?

1188
01:21:25,547 --> 01:21:28,966
Oh, from the oddest place. His parents.

1189
01:21:29,134 --> 01:21:31,468
I mean, I don't think
I got that memo from mine.

1190
01:21:31,678 --> 01:21:34,513
Now I suppose
he's trying to make those dancers...

1191
01:21:34,681 --> 01:21:37,349
feel as comfortable as possible.

1192
01:21:37,559 --> 01:21:40,352
No. He didn't go home with them.

1193
01:21:45,275 --> 01:21:47,026
Well....

1194
01:21:47,193 --> 01:21:48,485
He went home with Sophie.

1195
01:21:50,989 --> 01:21:52,573
- No!
- Yep.

1196
01:21:52,782 --> 01:21:54,283
No!

1197
01:21:54,492 --> 01:21:57,494
She swept him out of the room
whispering French sweet nothings.

1198
01:21:57,662 --> 01:22:00,664
No, not Sophie, not Sophie.
Don't tell me that.

1199
01:22:00,874 --> 01:22:03,876
So, what you gonna do,
go to her place and kick the door in?

1200
01:22:04,044 --> 01:22:06,670
You're goddamn right I am.

1201
01:22:07,881 --> 01:22:11,216
- You coming?
- You kidding? Sophie would kill me.

1202
01:22:12,218 --> 01:22:13,719
Oh, coward.

1203
01:22:14,304 --> 01:22:16,221
Gentleman coward.

1204
01:22:30,654 --> 01:22:32,112
Eve!

1205
01:22:34,199 --> 01:22:37,242
So scare me, why don't you?
You stupid son of a bitch.

1206
01:22:37,410 --> 01:22:40,245
- I'm really sorry.
- What are you doing here?

1207
01:22:40,413 --> 01:22:42,748
You're supposed to be
on San Vicente Boulevard...

1208
01:22:42,916 --> 01:22:45,626
having unsafe sex with that slut Sophie.

1209
01:22:46,127 --> 01:22:49,755
- I know, and I'm really sorry.
- I'm limping.

1210
01:22:50,006 --> 01:22:52,508
How attractive is that?
What if this is for life?

1211
01:22:52,676 --> 01:22:54,677
- Adam.
- Where the hell are those bandages?

1212
01:22:54,844 --> 01:22:56,762
- I was just gonna say...
- I know.

1213
01:22:56,930 --> 01:22:59,098
- And then she went, "Aah" and she....
- I know.

1214
01:22:59,265 --> 01:23:01,767
- I didn't mean to scare her.
- Of course you didn't.

1215
01:23:01,935 --> 01:23:04,103
Nothing I do with her
ever seems to be right.

1216
01:23:04,270 --> 01:23:06,605
Used to be up here with the coffee.
Why don't...?

1217
01:23:06,773 --> 01:23:10,109
That's because you're a nice boy...

1218
01:23:10,276 --> 01:23:13,195
but what Eve needs is a nice man.

1219
01:23:13,363 --> 01:23:16,865
Understand, champ? Good night.

1220
01:23:17,409 --> 01:23:19,034
Night, Troy.

1221
01:23:19,452 --> 01:23:20,577
You still here?

1222
01:23:20,745 --> 01:23:22,371
- Let me help.
- I can do it myself.

1223
01:23:22,539 --> 01:23:25,124
I know more about first aid
than you know about cards.

1224
01:23:25,291 --> 01:23:28,961
Give me the stuff and sit down. Sit.

1225
01:23:30,755 --> 01:23:33,549
Let me see. Give me your knee.

1226
01:23:35,301 --> 01:23:38,262
- These pants are ruined, right?
- I'd say so.

1227
01:23:38,430 --> 01:23:39,930
There.

1228
01:23:45,645 --> 01:23:48,063
- Aah.... Ouch.
- Steady.

1229
01:23:48,481 --> 01:23:53,152
- There. And don't be such a baby.
- Oh, I'm the baby?

1230
01:23:59,701 --> 01:24:01,201
Um....

1231
01:24:02,495 --> 01:24:03,996
Did, um...?

1232
01:24:05,832 --> 01:24:07,791
Did you go to Sophie's?

1233
01:24:09,002 --> 01:24:10,335
Of course.

1234
01:24:11,921 --> 01:24:13,672
And?

1235
01:24:14,132 --> 01:24:17,760
- She was hospitable.
- Hospitable?

1236
01:24:18,178 --> 01:24:19,845
Huh.

1237
01:24:23,016 --> 01:24:26,852
But it just wasn't where I wanted to be.

1238
01:24:27,604 --> 01:24:32,608
So I left as politely as I could,
and I found a taxi...

1239
01:24:32,776 --> 01:24:36,820
and I told the driver to bring me here
instead of back to the hotel.

1240
01:24:40,366 --> 01:24:43,827
There is a song that Mr. Como sings...

1241
01:24:43,995 --> 01:24:45,954
called "On the Street Where You Live."

1242
01:24:46,122 --> 01:24:47,623
Do you know it?

1243
01:24:48,541 --> 01:24:50,626
Sing it to me.

1244
01:24:53,838 --> 01:24:55,714
Um....

1245
01:24:55,882 --> 01:24:59,968
I have often walked
Down this street before

1246
01:25:00,136 --> 01:25:05,140
But the pavement always stayed
Beneath my feet before

1247
01:25:05,308 --> 01:25:10,938
All at once am I
Several stories high

1248
01:25:11,106 --> 01:25:16,401
Knowing I'm on the street
Where you live

1249
01:25:16,569 --> 01:25:22,699
It's a song about a young man
who's overjoyed...

1250
01:25:24,577 --> 01:25:26,870
just to be standing
in front of the house...

1251
01:25:27,997 --> 01:25:33,168
of the person that he loves.

1252
01:25:46,808 --> 01:25:50,561
Adam, you know, I...

1253
01:25:58,528 --> 01:26:04,408
Adam, I know this is stupid,
but humor me.

1254
01:26:07,620 --> 01:26:09,705
Have you ever had sex before?

1255
01:26:12,792 --> 01:26:13,876
No.

1256
01:26:15,962 --> 01:26:18,547
How is that possible?

1257
01:26:19,257 --> 01:26:21,383
You better sit back down.

1258
01:26:25,346 --> 01:26:27,806
In 1962, when the bomb
was dropped on Los Angeles...

1259
01:26:27,974 --> 01:26:30,809
my parents were in our fallout shelter.

1260
01:26:30,977 --> 01:26:32,227
That's where I was born.

1261
01:26:33,605 --> 01:26:35,981
We only survived
because it's a huge shelter...

1262
01:26:36,149 --> 01:26:39,067
as far as fallout shelters go.

1263
01:26:39,235 --> 01:26:42,821
My father worked on it secretly
for years.

1264
01:26:42,989 --> 01:26:46,283
When he had to, he used contractors,
but always from out of state...

1265
01:26:46,451 --> 01:26:48,660
and always for only a portion
of the job.

1266
01:26:48,870 --> 01:26:51,330
He told them it was a
secret government experiment...

1267
01:26:51,497 --> 01:26:52,748
done through Caltech.

1268
01:26:52,957 --> 01:26:54,291
Now, my dad's not a liar...

1269
01:26:54,459 --> 01:26:57,002
but in this case,
he felt he had no choice.

1270
01:26:57,170 --> 01:26:59,338
Of course, it had to be kept a secret.

1271
01:26:59,505 --> 01:27:03,508
We only had enough supplies
to last three people for 35 years.

1272
01:27:03,676 --> 01:27:06,011
The really tricky part
was the air-vent system...

1273
01:27:06,179 --> 01:27:09,681
but we were finally able
to cut into the flood-control sewer....

1274
01:27:13,311 --> 01:27:17,356
Eve, what I would like to do...

1275
01:27:17,523 --> 01:27:20,192
is to take you with me
down into the fallout shelter.

1276
01:27:21,027 --> 01:27:24,029
We could live there with my mom and dad.

1277
01:27:24,197 --> 01:27:27,324
My dad said
that if I found a healthy young girl...

1278
01:27:27,492 --> 01:27:29,826
that I should bring her on down.

1279
01:27:30,453 --> 01:27:32,371
Why, Eve...

1280
01:27:33,289 --> 01:27:36,625
you look plenty healthy to me.

1281
01:27:40,338 --> 01:27:43,215
- Adam?
- Yes, Eve?

1282
01:27:45,051 --> 01:27:47,886
I think it's time to call a cab.

1283
01:27:50,098 --> 01:27:52,057
Oh. Of course. You're absolutely right.

1284
01:27:52,225 --> 01:27:55,644
I really shouldn't be over here
at this late hour.

1285
01:27:58,439 --> 01:27:59,940
Mm-hm.

1286
01:28:04,153 --> 01:28:06,071
Good night, Adam.

1287
01:28:11,953 --> 01:28:13,704
Thank you.

1288
01:28:31,222 --> 01:28:34,725
- Goddamn, Adam.
- Wait a minute.

1289
01:28:35,893 --> 01:28:37,602
Oh, look, I'm sorry.

1290
01:28:37,770 --> 01:28:40,522
I know, I took the Lord's name
in vain again. I...

1291
01:28:40,690 --> 01:28:43,734
No. There's an adult bookstore
back there.

1292
01:28:43,901 --> 01:28:45,902
I'll be right back.

1293
01:28:59,584 --> 01:29:00,625
Give us a sign.

1294
01:29:00,793 --> 01:29:01,835
- Amen.
- Yeah.

1295
01:29:02,003 --> 01:29:03,211
- That's all we ask.
- Amen.

1296
01:29:03,379 --> 01:29:06,631
- Just give us some sort of sign.
- Amen.

1297
01:29:06,799 --> 01:29:11,762
- Just show us that we're not alone.
- Yeah.

1298
01:29:35,036 --> 01:29:36,453
Hi, Eve.

1299
01:29:36,621 --> 01:29:40,499
- Hi, Adam. This is....
- Hi, Adam, I'm Nina Aron.

1300
01:29:41,459 --> 01:29:43,627
- Hello, how do you do?
- Very well, thank you.

1301
01:29:43,795 --> 01:29:46,171
I'm with the county
Family Services Department.

1302
01:29:46,339 --> 01:29:51,134
Eve tells me you've been living
in a bomb shelter most of your life.

1303
01:29:52,637 --> 01:29:55,847
Fallout shelter. There is a difference.

1304
01:29:56,057 --> 01:29:59,935
Adam, I'd like to introduce you
to my associate, Mr. Brown.

1305
01:30:01,104 --> 01:30:02,687
Hello.

1306
01:30:03,689 --> 01:30:05,190
We want you to come with us...

1307
01:30:05,358 --> 01:30:07,859
so we can talk some more
about your experiences.

1308
01:30:08,027 --> 01:30:10,695
- Come where?
- My office.

1309
01:30:10,863 --> 01:30:12,697
For how long?

1310
01:30:12,865 --> 01:30:14,658
Well, that depends.

1311
01:30:14,867 --> 01:30:17,202
Well, I thank you very much
for the invitation...

1312
01:30:17,370 --> 01:30:18,703
but I'm very busy today.

1313
01:30:18,871 --> 01:30:23,166
- Perhaps I could see you tomorrow.
- I think you should go with Dr. Aron.

1314
01:30:24,127 --> 01:30:26,670
I think it's the best thing.

1315
01:30:26,838 --> 01:30:30,048
I think it's the best thing
for you, I do.

1316
01:30:35,847 --> 01:30:37,389
All right, Eve, if you say so.

1317
01:30:39,100 --> 01:30:40,976
I do.

1318
01:30:42,979 --> 01:30:44,479
Could I please just go home?

1319
01:30:44,647 --> 01:30:47,065
I was lost,
but I found home this morning.

1320
01:30:47,233 --> 01:30:51,862
And if I can just go home, I promise
I'll never bother any of you ever again.

1321
01:30:52,071 --> 01:30:55,407
Adam, uh, let's go talk first.

1322
01:30:59,036 --> 01:31:01,997
- Yes, ma'am.
- Okay.

1323
01:31:04,917 --> 01:31:06,126
Bye, Adam.

1324
01:31:07,879 --> 01:31:09,588
Bye, Troy.

1325
01:31:16,554 --> 01:31:20,390
- You'll be hearing from me.
- Oh, yes.

1326
01:31:22,727 --> 01:31:25,604
What? What was I supposed to do?

1327
01:31:25,771 --> 01:31:27,898
He told me he wanted
to take me underground.

1328
01:31:28,065 --> 01:31:31,443
That's like Silence of the Lambs.
It's crazy.

1329
01:31:31,652 --> 01:31:34,362
Yeah. You did the right thing.

1330
01:31:38,159 --> 01:31:40,243
- Hey, hey.
- Oh, no.

1331
01:31:40,453 --> 01:31:41,703
Where you going?

1332
01:31:43,539 --> 01:31:45,290
- Oh, my God.
- All right, don't worry.

1333
01:31:45,458 --> 01:31:48,585
Don't worry, he'll catch him.
Yes, this is Nina Aron.

1334
01:31:48,794 --> 01:31:51,463
I've got a runaway,
and I'm gonna need police assistance.

1335
01:31:51,672 --> 01:31:54,049
- No, you cannot call them.
- Young lady, I have to.

1336
01:31:54,217 --> 01:31:56,468
If a complaint is made
and the person resists...

1337
01:31:56,636 --> 01:31:57,928
No, I cannot have that.

1338
01:31:58,137 --> 01:32:00,764
They'll come with their cars
and their guns and...

1339
01:32:00,932 --> 01:32:02,557
All right, all right. Calm down.

1340
01:32:02,725 --> 01:32:05,977
Now, that young man needs help,
and you need protection from him.

1341
01:32:06,187 --> 01:32:07,312
I was frightened.

1342
01:32:07,480 --> 01:32:11,983
I didn't know what to think,
but, you know, I believe him.

1343
01:32:12,151 --> 01:32:13,443
I think he just...

1344
01:32:13,653 --> 01:32:16,988
I do. I really think he just wants
to go home, wherever that might be.

1345
01:32:17,156 --> 01:32:20,575
All right, everybody has to calm down.
That's the most important thing.

1346
01:32:20,743 --> 01:32:22,327
- Eve. Here's my hotel key.
- Adam.

1347
01:32:22,495 --> 01:32:25,413
You can have my baseball cards.
Don't forget to pay my bill.

1348
01:32:25,581 --> 01:32:28,667
You stop right there.
Stop. Don't get in that truck.

1349
01:32:28,834 --> 01:32:31,503
Adam, you gotta stop
trying to drive this truck.

1350
01:32:31,671 --> 01:32:32,796
- Bye, Troy.
- Bye, Adam.

1351
01:32:32,964 --> 01:32:34,464
Thanks for always being happy.

1352
01:32:34,632 --> 01:32:36,841
- What?
- Gay.

1353
01:32:39,387 --> 01:32:41,596
Oh! Oh! Oh!

1354
01:32:41,764 --> 01:32:44,599
That's my car, you son of a bitch!

1355
01:32:45,184 --> 01:32:47,686
- Where the hell have you been?
- I fell down.

1356
01:32:47,853 --> 01:32:50,021
You guys get the license number
on that truck?

1357
01:32:50,189 --> 01:32:53,108
What are you asking them for?
They're as screwed up as he is.

1358
01:32:53,276 --> 01:32:55,527
Everybody keep calm.
That's the important thing.

1359
01:32:55,736 --> 01:32:57,362
Who you talking to, you stupid...?

1360
01:32:57,530 --> 01:32:59,739
- Eve! Eve!
- Okay, okay, okay.

1361
01:33:08,040 --> 01:33:11,501
Mom? Dad? I'm home.

1362
01:33:12,253 --> 01:33:15,088
Oh! Oh.

1363
01:33:15,256 --> 01:33:17,632
Adam. Oh, Adam.

1364
01:33:18,676 --> 01:33:21,219
- Oh.
- I've got almost everything we need.

1365
01:33:21,387 --> 01:33:24,389
- And this nice man...
- Archbishop Melker.

1366
01:33:24,557 --> 01:33:25,974
We met previously.

1367
01:33:26,183 --> 01:33:28,893
...and his church group volunteered
to help bring it down.

1368
01:33:29,145 --> 01:33:31,813
- But we've gotta hurry.
- Are you in trouble, son?

1369
01:33:31,981 --> 01:33:34,357
I think I'm being chased
by a psychiatrist.

1370
01:33:34,525 --> 01:33:36,818
- A psychiatrist?
- It happens.

1371
01:33:37,278 --> 01:33:40,530
Oh, my goodness. How bad is it up there?

1372
01:33:41,073 --> 01:33:42,741
Horrible.

1373
01:33:44,368 --> 01:33:46,494
There's something on your forehead.

1374
01:33:46,704 --> 01:33:49,289
- Calvin.
- I know.

1375
01:34:09,352 --> 01:34:11,770
Okay.

1376
01:34:26,202 --> 01:34:27,285
Is this it?

1377
01:34:31,207 --> 01:34:35,794
- Well, what are we gonna do with it?
- Give it back to him.

1378
01:34:35,961 --> 01:34:38,421
- And what if we can't find him?
- We'll find him.

1379
01:34:38,589 --> 01:34:40,215
Well....

1380
01:35:00,444 --> 01:35:02,904
Hey, Eve.

1381
01:35:03,823 --> 01:35:07,951
Eve, uh, look what I found in the suitcase.
It's stock certificates.

1382
01:35:08,119 --> 01:35:09,327
I mean, it's got, like...

1383
01:35:09,495 --> 01:35:13,498
It's got, like, IBM and AT&T
and Polaroid and....

1384
01:35:13,666 --> 01:35:17,252
Ipana? I remember this brand.

1385
01:35:17,420 --> 01:35:19,754
I didn't know they still made this.

1386
01:35:22,341 --> 01:35:27,637
Oh. Look at this.
It says, "Trademark 1961."

1387
01:35:31,642 --> 01:35:33,768
Hurry, my friends,
we have no time to waste.

1388
01:35:33,936 --> 01:35:36,646
The son has spoken. Let's step it up.

1389
01:35:36,856 --> 01:35:40,775
Leave my elevator alone.
Leave my elevator alone.

1390
01:35:40,943 --> 01:35:43,528
We're losing the light.

1391
01:35:43,779 --> 01:35:47,615
Purchased in 1958 and '59?
Ten thousand shares of each?

1392
01:35:47,783 --> 01:35:49,534
- Mm-hm.
- They'd be worth millions.

1393
01:35:49,702 --> 01:35:52,787
Hell, I don't know.
Millions upon millions...

1394
01:35:52,997 --> 01:35:54,706
Upon millions.

1395
01:35:55,124 --> 01:36:01,004
The stocks, the baseball cards,
the clothes, the toothpaste.

1396
01:36:01,172 --> 01:36:03,173
The guy's on the level.

1397
01:36:03,841 --> 01:36:05,383
Eve.

1398
01:36:05,551 --> 01:36:09,679
Eve, a man walks into your life
who's the kindest, most polite...

1399
01:36:09,847 --> 01:36:11,890
most incredibly rich guy
you've ever met.

1400
01:36:12,057 --> 01:36:14,392
And I have him committed.

1401
01:36:14,560 --> 01:36:17,812
Yes. Yes, you did.

1402
01:36:18,230 --> 01:36:19,898
Yeah.

1403
01:36:20,900 --> 01:36:24,486
Well, at least I fell for him
before I found out he was rich.

1404
01:36:24,653 --> 01:36:27,322
- That's new.
- Yeah.

1405
01:36:28,657 --> 01:36:33,244
He said today he knew where home was.
Where'd you guys go this morning?

1406
01:36:33,913 --> 01:36:36,414
Just to pick up frozen poultry.

1407
01:36:36,582 --> 01:36:39,375
- Then?
- Then back to the house.

1408
01:36:39,543 --> 01:36:41,753
You didn't stop anywhere?

1409
01:36:44,006 --> 01:36:46,591
We did. We stopped at a porn shop.

1410
01:36:47,092 --> 01:36:50,595
We stopped at this adult bookstore.
Adam was very excited to see it.

1411
01:36:50,763 --> 01:36:54,724
- Adam was very excited to see porn?
- Yes.

1412
01:36:54,892 --> 01:36:57,769
Eve, do you think maybe his home...

1413
01:36:57,978 --> 01:37:01,189
is underneath a dirty bookstore
in the Valley?

1414
01:37:06,445 --> 01:37:09,906
- Is this it?
- Yeah. Yeah, this is the place.

1415
01:37:29,301 --> 01:37:32,887
Harder. Adam? Adam?

1416
01:37:34,306 --> 01:37:36,891
Um, heh. Do you have a basement?

1417
01:37:37,059 --> 01:37:41,312
Believe me, all the really good stuff
is right up front.

1418
01:37:42,982 --> 01:37:44,774
Is there a back entrance or something?

1419
01:37:44,984 --> 01:37:46,943
Are you kidding? Of course.

1420
01:37:47,152 --> 01:37:49,654
Nice kid. Nice kid.

1421
01:37:51,782 --> 01:37:54,659
What are we looking for?
This is ridiculous.

1422
01:37:54,827 --> 01:37:57,453
Why would they put a fallout shelter
under a porn shop?

1423
01:37:57,621 --> 01:37:59,289
None of this was here back in '62.

1424
01:37:59,456 --> 01:38:01,833
Back then this was all, like,
cute little homes...

1425
01:38:02,001 --> 01:38:04,752
and, you know, fruit orchards.

1426
01:38:04,962 --> 01:38:07,547
Well, we've come a long way, haven't we?

1427
01:38:08,841 --> 01:38:12,594
- I wanna go home.
- Yeah. Maybe he'll call, huh?

1428
01:38:13,971 --> 01:38:15,930
Uh, Eve?

1429
01:38:16,098 --> 01:38:17,849
This is Adam.

1430
01:38:18,684 --> 01:38:22,145
Look, I just wanted to thank you
for everything you did for me.

1431
01:38:22,313 --> 01:38:25,857
And I wanted to tell you that I....

1432
01:38:26,317 --> 01:38:28,526
That, uh....

1433
01:38:28,694 --> 01:38:31,029
That I wish so many good things for you.

1434
01:38:31,196 --> 01:38:34,699
I wish so hard
that all of your dreams come true.

1435
01:38:34,867 --> 01:38:36,951
And that...

1436
01:38:37,119 --> 01:38:40,371
And that's all I... And that's all.

1437
01:39:05,814 --> 01:39:09,108
Surprise. Bang! Ha-ha-ha.

1438
01:39:12,488 --> 01:39:14,864
Stay out of here, you drunk.

1439
01:39:17,618 --> 01:39:20,078
Mm-mm-mm.

1440
01:39:40,349 --> 01:39:42,016
Adam?

1441
01:40:20,264 --> 01:40:25,101
- How long you gonna set it for this time?
- I thought 10 years.

1442
01:40:25,477 --> 01:40:30,314
Well, it's considerably shorter
than before...

1443
01:40:30,816 --> 01:40:34,485
but I was wondering, Calvin,
I mean, why set the locks at all?

1444
01:40:34,695 --> 01:40:36,112
I mean, the radiation's gone.

1445
01:40:36,280 --> 01:40:38,990
To keep what's up there
from getting down here.

1446
01:40:39,158 --> 01:40:42,201
It's not radiation I'm worried about.

1447
01:40:42,578 --> 01:40:44,245
Mom. Dad.

1448
01:40:47,458 --> 01:40:49,000
Oh, ho.

1449
01:40:54,465 --> 01:40:57,633
I would like for you to meet
Miss Eve Rustokov.

1450
01:40:57,801 --> 01:40:59,969
- Mrs. Webber.
- Hello.

1451
01:41:00,137 --> 01:41:01,846
- Mr. Webber.
- Hello.

1452
01:41:02,514 --> 01:41:05,433
Adam's told me
such wonderful things about you.

1453
01:41:06,018 --> 01:41:08,102
Oh, well, excuse us, please.

1454
01:41:08,270 --> 01:41:12,190
- We haven't entertained a guest in...
- Quite some time.

1455
01:41:12,357 --> 01:41:15,193
Oh, Eve, what can I offer you?

1456
01:41:15,360 --> 01:41:18,863
- Mom, Eve and I have to go.
- Oh, Adam, you just got here.

1457
01:41:19,031 --> 01:41:22,366
I can't explain now, but I want you
to set the locks for two months.

1458
01:41:22,534 --> 01:41:25,620
You've got enough of everything.
We'll be right back to get you.

1459
01:41:25,788 --> 01:41:27,747
But I don't understand.

1460
01:41:27,956 --> 01:41:31,125
And I'm asking you to trust me
without understanding why.

1461
01:41:31,335 --> 01:41:34,879
- In that case, of course.
- Of course, son.

1462
01:41:35,047 --> 01:41:38,341
- They really are wonderful parents.
- Ha-ha-ha.

1463
01:41:38,926 --> 01:41:41,886
Oh, Adam.
Could you at least stay for dinner?

1464
01:41:42,054 --> 01:41:44,764
- Well, we do....
- You must.

1465
01:41:47,434 --> 01:41:48,935
Perfect.

1466
01:41:49,103 --> 01:41:51,020
Now, tell me if you've heard this one.

1467
01:41:51,188 --> 01:41:53,356
Duck walks into a drugstore.

1468
01:41:53,524 --> 01:41:58,486
This gravy is an old favorite of Calvin's.
Now, Eve, the platter is down there.

1469
01:41:58,654 --> 01:42:00,696
Would you get that, honey?

1470
01:42:00,864 --> 01:42:04,951
The sperm swims toward the egg. Pop.

1471
01:42:05,119 --> 01:42:06,577
- Into the egg.
- But why?

1472
01:42:06,745 --> 01:42:08,329
Because it must.

1473
01:42:08,497 --> 01:42:13,084
- But why?
- Because it's out there.

1474
01:42:13,794 --> 01:42:17,421
I don't mean to be nosy,
but are you and Adam dating?

1475
01:42:17,589 --> 01:42:19,632
Yeah, we are.

1476
01:42:21,093 --> 01:42:24,053
And I'm from Pasadena.

1477
01:42:27,432 --> 01:42:30,935
And you thought your parents were weird.

1478
01:42:31,937 --> 01:42:35,273
It's truly amazing what you can get
done when you have unlimited funds.

1479
01:42:36,150 --> 01:42:39,610
Do you know you can have whole
houses built in just a matter of months?

1480
01:42:39,778 --> 01:42:42,196
It's like the Garden of Eden,
don't you think?

1481
01:42:42,406 --> 01:42:45,158
All you have to say is this:
"I don't care what it costs."

1482
01:42:45,325 --> 01:42:48,452
Of course, you've gotta really mean it,
which no one ever does.

1483
01:42:49,121 --> 01:42:51,664
It took a while
to convince Archbishop Melker...

1484
01:42:51,832 --> 01:42:53,207
that Adam wasn't God...

1485
01:42:53,417 --> 01:42:55,751
and he was pretty broken up
about it too.

1486
01:42:55,919 --> 01:42:59,839
Until I showed him my plans
for Los Angeles' hottest nightspot.

1487
01:43:00,007 --> 01:43:01,299
It's my goddamn malt shop.

1488
01:43:01,466 --> 01:43:03,968
- Let's figure out what's gonna happen.
- Okay.

1489
01:43:04,136 --> 01:43:07,471
Now, I want the whole ownership
of everything downstairs, all right?

1490
01:43:07,639 --> 01:43:10,433
- Well...
- I want one of my guys at the door.

1491
01:43:13,353 --> 01:43:17,857
Our idea was to bring Adam's parents
up to the surface very slowly...

1492
01:43:18,025 --> 01:43:21,360
make them very comfortable,
and then break the bad news to them...

1493
01:43:21,528 --> 01:43:24,822
that there was no nuclear holocaust.

1494
01:43:38,879 --> 01:43:40,338
Oh, Adam.

1495
01:43:52,684 --> 01:43:55,019
Oh, son.

1496
01:43:59,066 --> 01:44:03,444
Okay. And here you go. Careful.

1497
01:44:10,244 --> 01:44:11,827
It's hot.

1498
01:44:12,037 --> 01:44:13,537
Careful.

1499
01:44:16,250 --> 01:44:21,087
Have you ever in your life seen a son
who did more for his parents?

1500
01:44:21,880 --> 01:44:24,507
This is beautiful.

1501
01:44:25,425 --> 01:44:28,719
- It's absolutely beautiful.
- Yeah.

1502
01:44:28,887 --> 01:44:34,517
Well, we seem to have everything,
but, you know...

1503
01:44:35,269 --> 01:44:39,230
it's not much different
from the fallout shelter.

1504
01:44:40,065 --> 01:44:44,610
No, Calvin, this is different,
believe me.

1505
01:44:47,948 --> 01:44:52,159
This is great, son.

1506
01:44:54,830 --> 01:44:56,539
By the way....

1507
01:44:57,874 --> 01:45:02,461
Eve, her last name, Rustokov,
that's not Russian, is it?

1508
01:45:02,629 --> 01:45:05,673
No, it's, uh, Ukrainian.
Her grandparents immigrated.

1509
01:45:09,928 --> 01:45:11,887
Dad, I don't know
how to tell you this...

1510
01:45:12,055 --> 01:45:15,182
and I was gonna wait for a while
to do it, but, um....

1511
01:45:17,728 --> 01:45:21,480
Dad, there was no bomb.
A plane crashed in our back yard.

1512
01:45:21,690 --> 01:45:24,358
I looked it up in old newspapers.

1513
01:45:24,985 --> 01:45:27,320
- Are you sure?
- Positive.

1514
01:45:27,529 --> 01:45:30,406
The Soviet Union collapsed
without a shot being fired.

1515
01:45:30,574 --> 01:45:32,074
The Cold War's over.

1516
01:45:35,954 --> 01:45:38,414
That's what everyone believes?

1517
01:45:38,582 --> 01:45:40,374
Oh, yes, sir.

1518
01:45:40,542 --> 01:45:42,001
And it's true.

1519
01:45:43,211 --> 01:45:47,465
What, the Politburo one day said:

1520
01:45:48,216 --> 01:45:50,968
"We give up"? Ha-ha-ha.

1521
01:45:51,762 --> 01:45:54,221
Yes, that's kind of how it went.

1522
01:45:54,431 --> 01:45:57,600
My gosh, those commies are brilliant.

1523
01:45:57,768 --> 01:45:59,643
You have to hand it to them.

1524
01:45:59,853 --> 01:46:02,480
"No, we didn't drop any bombs.

1525
01:46:02,647 --> 01:46:06,817
Oh, yeah, our evil empire has collapsed.
Poor us."

1526
01:46:06,985 --> 01:46:11,155
I'll bet they even asked the West
for aid.

1527
01:46:11,365 --> 01:46:12,656
Right?

1528
01:46:12,824 --> 01:46:15,368
Um, I think they did.

1529
01:46:15,577 --> 01:46:18,829
Oh, boys. Dinnertime.

1530
01:46:18,997 --> 01:46:20,081
Pot roast.

1531
01:46:25,253 --> 01:46:26,921
I'll tell you.

1532
01:46:29,091 --> 01:46:30,800
Funny guy.

1533
01:46:31,510 --> 01:46:34,678
- Don't tell your mother.
- No, okay.

1534
01:46:34,846 --> 01:46:38,015
Adam says that
this is simply how things work.

1535
01:46:38,183 --> 01:46:40,518
First the parents
take care of the children...

1536
01:46:40,685 --> 01:46:43,270
and then the children
take care of the parents.

1537
01:46:43,438 --> 01:46:46,524
He says historically,
that's how it works.

1538
01:46:46,691 --> 01:46:49,193
Damn commies.

1539
01:46:52,489 --> 01:46:56,700
Whenever Adam gives me
such obviously incorrect information...

1540
01:46:56,868 --> 01:47:01,831
I just smile, slap him on the knee,
and look out the window.

1541
01:47:01,998 --> 01:47:03,374
Why spoil his dreams?

1542
01:47:04,292 --> 01:47:07,503
They're such wonderful dreams.