1 00:01:07,495 --> 00:01:08,989 Hello, folks at home. 2 00:01:10,581 --> 00:01:12,538 I'm 100 yards from the top of Mt. Everest. 3 00:01:12,625 --> 00:01:16,290 Yet there's a part of me that can't wait to end this silly vacation... 4 00:01:16,378 --> 00:01:19,712 ...and get back to work, where the real challenges await. 5 00:01:20,883 --> 00:01:23,421 Shouldn't you take your age into consideration, sir? 6 00:01:23,511 --> 00:01:25,550 After all, you're 82 years old. 7 00:01:25,805 --> 00:01:27,215 Am I 82? 8 00:01:27,389 --> 00:01:31,339 These numbers mean nothing to me. My journey through life has just begun. 9 00:01:31,435 --> 00:01:32,894 Sir! Sir! 10 00:01:33,229 --> 00:01:36,146 -Oota tells me the storm's getting worse. -Very, very bad. 11 00:01:36,232 --> 00:01:39,351 We must abandon our ascent and go down the mountain immediately. 12 00:01:39,443 --> 00:01:42,480 We're so very close to the top, Mr. Puffy Jacket Man. 13 00:01:43,114 --> 00:01:46,529 I'm heading down now, sir. I advise you to do the same. 14 00:01:46,617 --> 00:01:48,111 All right, so be it. 15 00:01:48,202 --> 00:01:52,282 See you at the staff meeting on Monday. And I'll bring the Krispy Kremes! 16 00:02:11,016 --> 00:02:14,599 There, once again, the sad footage we've been watching all day. 17 00:02:14,728 --> 00:02:19,141 A beloved visionary who turned a single radio station into a global media empire... 18 00:02:19,233 --> 00:02:22,732 ...Preston Blake, dead at 82. More after this. 19 00:02:27,032 --> 00:02:29,321 You're watching the Blake Broadcasting Network. 20 00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:32,115 The stock of Blake Media, the parent company of this network... 21 00:02:32,204 --> 00:02:34,778 ...plunged this morning on the news of Blake's death... 22 00:02:34,874 --> 00:02:39,002 ...but bounced back after a statement by Blake's long-time number 2, Chuck Cedar. 23 00:02:39,086 --> 00:02:41,375 All the king's horses and all the king's men... 24 00:02:41,464 --> 00:02:44,879 ...couldn't save Preston Blake from becoming a human Popsicle. 25 00:02:44,967 --> 00:02:49,795 And sources indicate that Blake, who was single and had no children, left no will. 26 00:02:50,598 --> 00:02:54,049 So who inherits Blake's 49 percent stake in the company's stock... 27 00:02:54,143 --> 00:02:56,266 ...valued at $40 billion? 28 00:02:56,604 --> 00:03:00,933 We'll discuss that with people close to Blake, including his long-time barber... 29 00:03:01,025 --> 00:03:04,939 ...on tomorrow's Inside Access. Until then, I'm Mac McGrath. 30 00:03:07,031 --> 00:03:08,905 -Are we clear? -Clear! 31 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,525 Babe? Where's Babe? 32 00:03:11,869 --> 00:03:14,538 -I'll come over and choke you to death. -Babe! 33 00:03:14,622 --> 00:03:15,487 I got to go. 34 00:03:15,581 --> 00:03:18,072 Freaking barber! That's the best you could get me? 35 00:03:18,167 --> 00:03:20,836 People tell everything to their barbers. 36 00:03:21,003 --> 00:03:24,372 He's been his closest confidant for more than 20 years. 37 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:28,379 I'm not putting this guy on the air. Get me something better and get it quick. 38 00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:29,928 Or it's your ass. 39 00:03:34,391 --> 00:03:36,183 Did we find this heir yet? 40 00:03:36,268 --> 00:03:39,305 We should be getting that information via fax any minute now. 41 00:03:39,396 --> 00:03:41,638 I have lawyers looking through birth records... 42 00:03:41,732 --> 00:03:44,519 ...in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and Guam. 43 00:03:44,610 --> 00:03:49,106 In fact, we have a little pool going. Guam's paying off at 1000-1. 44 00:03:49,782 --> 00:03:51,406 Is this a joke to you? 45 00:03:52,368 --> 00:03:55,867 Some genetic lottery winner now controls the fate of this company. 46 00:03:55,955 --> 00:03:58,528 No, I agree. It's troubling. 47 00:03:58,624 --> 00:04:01,329 Troubling? Your beard is troubling. 48 00:04:01,794 --> 00:04:06,005 Your pipe is troubling. Your yellow teeth are really troubling. 49 00:04:06,215 --> 00:04:09,880 But if I lose control of this company, it'll be catastrophic. 50 00:04:15,766 --> 00:04:18,340 Does anyone know a Dr. Mendlesohn? 51 00:04:19,311 --> 00:04:21,885 Congratulations, you have a spastic colon. 52 00:04:22,898 --> 00:04:25,105 That would explain a lot. 53 00:04:40,082 --> 00:04:41,660 "Longfellow Deeds." 54 00:04:48,048 --> 00:04:50,670 Chuck, I think we're there. 55 00:04:52,595 --> 00:04:54,303 My God, it's all green. 56 00:05:00,060 --> 00:05:03,844 Look at that thing. Fighter pilot on your left. 57 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:06,894 Got that sucker! 58 00:05:21,916 --> 00:05:23,114 You guys lost? 59 00:05:23,209 --> 00:05:25,996 We're looking for somebody: Longfellow Deeds. 60 00:05:26,295 --> 00:05:28,584 Is that Deeds' first name? 61 00:05:28,672 --> 00:05:31,342 If the Deeds you're referring to is Longfellow Deeds... 62 00:05:31,425 --> 00:05:33,797 ...then yes, that is Deeds' first name. 63 00:05:33,886 --> 00:05:36,803 I don't know Deeds' first name. Maybe it's Greg. 64 00:05:37,139 --> 00:05:39,262 -Maybe it's Longfellow. -Maybe. 65 00:05:39,350 --> 00:05:43,015 But I don't know. I know another guy named Greg. You want me to call him? 66 00:05:43,103 --> 00:05:46,270 No! Thank you. Please, just tell us where Deeds lives. 67 00:05:46,398 --> 00:05:50,313 All right, don't get all hyperactive. I'll take you straight to him. 68 00:05:56,575 --> 00:05:58,235 Step right in, fellows. 69 00:06:01,539 --> 00:06:04,539 -He lives at a pizzeria? -You can't live in a pizzeria. 70 00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:06,748 He lives upstairs. He owns it. 71 00:06:06,836 --> 00:06:09,124 Excuse me. Is Mr. Deeds around? 72 00:06:09,213 --> 00:06:13,839 No, I'm sorry, he's out making deliveries. The regular delivery guy called in sick. 73 00:06:14,009 --> 00:06:18,921 -But you don't look too sick, Murph. -I forgot I was faking sick today. 74 00:06:19,932 --> 00:06:24,558 -You two tricked me into coming here. -Put on an apron and give me a hand. 75 00:06:24,979 --> 00:06:28,098 You guys played me like a fiddle. Touche! 76 00:06:29,150 --> 00:06:31,023 Is Mrs. Deeds around? 77 00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:34,313 Mrs. Deeds? I don't think that poor boy ever had a date. 78 00:06:34,530 --> 00:06:38,444 -Do you know when he'll be back? -Before lunch is out. Today's Card Day. 79 00:06:38,534 --> 00:06:40,610 -Card Day? -Deeds writes greeting cards. 80 00:06:40,703 --> 00:06:43,869 Every Monday, he tries out a few and then he chooses one... 81 00:06:43,956 --> 00:06:46,447 ...and sends it to one of the big card companies. 82 00:06:46,542 --> 00:06:48,867 Now, he hasn't sold any yet, but... 83 00:06:49,170 --> 00:06:50,368 ...he will. 84 00:06:51,547 --> 00:06:53,705 You guys need anything else here? 85 00:06:53,841 --> 00:06:55,300 "To my sweetheart 86 00:06:56,343 --> 00:06:59,013 "I love you completely, with all my soul 87 00:06:59,221 --> 00:07:02,258 "Without you I'm nothing, a butterless roll" 88 00:07:03,726 --> 00:07:05,006 That's good. 89 00:07:05,102 --> 00:07:06,680 Like that, gentlemen? 90 00:07:07,688 --> 00:07:10,523 Hallmark said it showed potential, which is pretty cool. 91 00:07:10,608 --> 00:07:12,896 -Longfellow Deeds? -Just call me Deeds, pal. 92 00:07:12,985 --> 00:07:15,061 Easy with that Longfellow stuff. 93 00:07:15,321 --> 00:07:16,779 Chuck Cedar, CEO. 94 00:07:16,864 --> 00:07:19,699 Cecil Anderson, General Counsel of Blake Media. 95 00:07:19,783 --> 00:07:22,701 Handshakes are for strangers. We hug around here, buddy. 96 00:07:22,786 --> 00:07:24,909 What's up? Welcome to town. 97 00:07:26,081 --> 00:07:28,039 Come on, don't be shy. 98 00:07:28,792 --> 00:07:32,244 I like that beard. Abe Lincoln-style. Have a seat, boys. 99 00:07:32,421 --> 00:07:33,666 -Murph! -Deeds? 100 00:07:33,756 --> 00:07:36,673 -I thought you were sick today. -That was a lie, pal. 101 00:07:36,759 --> 00:07:38,170 You fooled me. 102 00:07:38,260 --> 00:07:39,375 -I did? -Yeah. 103 00:07:39,470 --> 00:07:41,427 -Mr. Deeds? -Just Deeds. 104 00:07:41,847 --> 00:07:45,596 You sounded so sick on the phone. You're good. Do that sick voice again. 105 00:07:45,684 --> 00:07:49,634 Deeds, I can't come to work today. I think I got strep throat. 106 00:07:53,108 --> 00:07:56,524 That's unbelievable. You could be a radio actor or something. 107 00:07:56,612 --> 00:07:58,901 -Thanks, buddy. -Sure. 108 00:07:59,114 --> 00:08:02,566 Hey, Deeds. Read a card already. I got to get back on duty. 109 00:08:03,702 --> 00:08:06,193 I'd better get up there. Good meeting you, gentlemen. 110 00:08:06,288 --> 00:08:09,373 Mr. Deeds, does the name Preston Blake mean anything to you? 111 00:08:09,458 --> 00:08:11,451 Mom's maiden name was Blake. 112 00:08:11,794 --> 00:08:16,290 Only one this week, but I got a feeling it'll end my losing streak with Hallmark. 113 00:08:18,217 --> 00:08:20,459 Preston Blake was your mother's uncle. 114 00:08:20,553 --> 00:08:23,554 You're kidding me, I got an uncle? Awesome. How's he doing? 115 00:08:23,639 --> 00:08:24,837 He's dead. 116 00:08:25,307 --> 00:08:27,596 Oh, no. If there's anything I can do... 117 00:08:27,685 --> 00:08:29,393 Deeds! Deeds! 118 00:08:30,062 --> 00:08:31,971 I'll be right with you guys. 119 00:08:33,232 --> 00:08:35,853 When Mr. Blake died, he left an enormous fortune. 120 00:08:35,943 --> 00:08:38,648 $40 billion. He left it all... 121 00:08:39,238 --> 00:08:40,649 ...to you, Deeds. 122 00:08:42,992 --> 00:08:44,534 Wait a minute. 123 00:08:45,494 --> 00:08:49,326 What are you talking about, you got to get back on duty? You're not a cop. 124 00:08:49,415 --> 00:08:52,036 You're right. I got this down at the costume shop. 125 00:08:52,126 --> 00:08:54,083 But it can't hurt to pretend. 126 00:08:55,045 --> 00:08:56,705 What a wisenheimer! 127 00:08:56,839 --> 00:08:58,831 Okay, everybody, it's show time. 128 00:09:00,676 --> 00:09:02,918 I call this "50th Anniversary Card." 129 00:09:03,512 --> 00:09:05,552 Which is quite a feat nowadays. 130 00:09:06,056 --> 00:09:09,805 "Fifty years have passed by with laughter and tears 131 00:09:10,519 --> 00:09:12,726 "Do you remember when we went to the zoo 132 00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:15,185 "and that time we drank all the beers?" 133 00:09:15,941 --> 00:09:16,937 Beers! 134 00:09:18,527 --> 00:09:21,979 "I promise to love you for 50 years more 135 00:09:22,490 --> 00:09:25,823 "Even when your bosoms sag down to the floor" 136 00:09:27,453 --> 00:09:30,122 That was awesome! How's he do it? 137 00:09:33,542 --> 00:09:36,828 It looks like you won't have to deliver pizza anymore, Deeds. 138 00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:38,581 You're a very rich man. 139 00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:41,461 What's that got to do with delivering pizzas? 140 00:09:41,550 --> 00:09:43,958 Ladies! The top one is yours. 141 00:09:44,053 --> 00:09:46,045 -Thank you, Deeds. -Of course. 142 00:09:46,138 --> 00:09:48,131 -Yummy! -So, Deeds, what's new? 143 00:09:48,766 --> 00:09:51,387 I found out I have an uncle, but he died. 144 00:09:51,727 --> 00:09:53,008 That's too bad. 145 00:09:53,270 --> 00:09:56,722 -He gave me $40 billion, though. -Well, that's nice. 146 00:09:56,899 --> 00:09:57,812 Oh, yeah! 147 00:09:57,900 --> 00:10:01,233 Don't you go and spend it all on some fancy record player. 148 00:10:01,487 --> 00:10:02,566 I won't. 149 00:10:02,655 --> 00:10:04,232 Who are your friends, Deeds? 150 00:10:04,323 --> 00:10:08,736 I'm sorry. Chuck, Cecil, this is Jane, Kitty and Sue. 151 00:10:09,203 --> 00:10:13,117 -Pleasure to meet you, Cecil. -Pleasure's all mine, Kitty. 152 00:10:13,541 --> 00:10:16,114 Or should I just say, "Meow"? 153 00:10:18,254 --> 00:10:20,293 Keep it in your pants, Anderson. 154 00:10:21,590 --> 00:10:26,133 -Now, why am I inheriting this money? -You're Mr. Blake's closest living relative. 155 00:10:26,428 --> 00:10:29,180 -Really? He had nobody else? -Nope, that's it. 156 00:10:29,265 --> 00:10:31,304 Gosh, I never even met the guy. 157 00:10:34,186 --> 00:10:36,345 Would you hold this for a second? 158 00:10:37,481 --> 00:10:39,688 Mr. Wetherley. How you doing, pal? 159 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,937 Very well, Deeds. Just going to the pharmacy. 160 00:10:43,028 --> 00:10:45,698 Well, let me get you there a little quicker. 161 00:10:48,576 --> 00:10:50,699 -How's your wife? -She's fine. 162 00:10:50,786 --> 00:10:53,242 -Terrific. Say hi for me. -I will. 163 00:10:53,330 --> 00:10:54,825 Okay. Here you go. 164 00:10:56,041 --> 00:10:58,793 -Thanks for the lift, Deeds. -You got it. 165 00:11:01,714 --> 00:11:05,628 We need you to come back to New York with us. Just for a few days. 166 00:11:05,718 --> 00:11:08,125 We're drawing up some papers you'll need to sign. 167 00:11:08,220 --> 00:11:09,714 What kind of papers? 168 00:11:09,805 --> 00:11:14,301 Technically, you've inherited 300 million shares of Blake Media, Inc. 169 00:11:14,393 --> 00:11:17,809 Chuck and l, along with some of the partners, will buy that stock... 170 00:11:17,897 --> 00:11:21,147 ...for $40 billion, which we've had to borrow from various... 171 00:11:21,233 --> 00:11:23,392 Who cares about the financial mumbo jumbo? 172 00:11:23,486 --> 00:11:26,321 We need a little time to dot the t's and cross the i's. 173 00:11:26,405 --> 00:11:29,739 And while we're doing that, we need you to stay away from the press. 174 00:11:29,825 --> 00:11:33,111 The media frenzy will die down in a couple weeks but until then... 175 00:11:33,204 --> 00:11:37,284 You don't want reporters crawling all over this lovely little town, do you? 176 00:11:37,374 --> 00:11:38,370 Oh, no! 177 00:11:41,420 --> 00:11:43,662 -Crazy Eyes! -What? 178 00:11:46,675 --> 00:11:50,210 How you doing, pal? I got your pizza, just the way you like it. 179 00:11:50,304 --> 00:11:51,300 Oh, yes! 180 00:11:52,473 --> 00:11:55,676 French fries and Oreos. You know me all too well, Deeds. 181 00:11:55,893 --> 00:11:57,138 What are you in for? 182 00:11:57,228 --> 00:11:59,932 I'm doing a one-nighter for biting Ed the mailman. 183 00:12:00,022 --> 00:12:03,521 The guy was trying to cast a spell on me, like a wizard. 184 00:12:04,652 --> 00:12:08,484 -Are you sure about that? -I don't know. Maybe he was just waving. 185 00:12:10,032 --> 00:12:13,567 -Who are your friends? -This is Chuck and Cecil from New York. 186 00:12:15,037 --> 00:12:16,496 I don't like them. 187 00:12:17,289 --> 00:12:18,997 Okay. Nice seeing you. 188 00:12:19,875 --> 00:12:23,624 I've never been to New York before. I suppose I could check out the sights. 189 00:12:23,712 --> 00:12:26,001 -Give me an hour to pack, okay? -You got it. 190 00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:30,004 I'll be the first guy to leave here since Jimmy McNally went to Disney World. 191 00:12:32,555 --> 00:12:34,298 See you later, everybody! 192 00:12:37,351 --> 00:12:41,100 Tomorrow is "Kids Eat For Free" Day. Don't forget to clean the highchairs. 193 00:12:41,188 --> 00:12:43,560 Don't worry, I'll take care of everything. 194 00:12:43,649 --> 00:12:45,807 -Go, have a good time! -I'll miss you. 195 00:12:45,901 --> 00:12:48,108 'Bye, Jan. Smell you later, Murph. 196 00:12:49,864 --> 00:12:51,488 -Give us a card! -Yeah! 197 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:57,908 "On my way to the big city for a business trip 198 00:12:58,414 --> 00:13:02,708 "Never, ever left Mandrake Falls before Ain't that a pip? 199 00:13:05,463 --> 00:13:09,211 "But while I'm gone I know I'll miss you all a lot" 200 00:13:09,675 --> 00:13:13,589 "So bring your rich butt back here and buy us all a shot" 201 00:13:15,431 --> 00:13:16,925 You got it, pal! 202 00:13:21,437 --> 00:13:22,848 Take it easy. 203 00:13:31,447 --> 00:13:35,445 The biggest story of the year and we've got nothing? 204 00:13:36,035 --> 00:13:39,867 Do you want to be tabloid journalists? Because I don't think so. 205 00:13:39,955 --> 00:13:42,790 You've got to be ruthless. When I started out... 206 00:13:42,875 --> 00:13:45,746 ...I slept in Tom and Roseanne's dumpster for two days... 207 00:13:45,836 --> 00:13:49,039 -...disguised as a giant carton of ice cream. -I got it! 208 00:13:49,381 --> 00:13:51,754 My source at Blake says the company helicopter... 209 00:13:51,842 --> 00:13:55,377 ...took off from there this afternoon with two male passengers aboard... 210 00:13:55,471 --> 00:13:57,428 -...headed for Mandrake Falls. -Where? 211 00:13:57,515 --> 00:13:59,803 Some little hick-ass town in New Hampshire. 212 00:13:59,892 --> 00:14:03,724 But now they're on their way back with three male passengers. 213 00:14:04,438 --> 00:14:06,431 -That's one more! -Duh! 214 00:14:07,316 --> 00:14:10,103 That third guy's our heir. Nice work, Marty. 215 00:14:10,194 --> 00:14:12,767 They were supposed to arrive at Blake Media at 5:00. 216 00:14:12,863 --> 00:14:15,568 But they made an unscheduled stop in Connecticut. 217 00:14:15,658 --> 00:14:18,030 I'm so happy I got the Big Bacon Classic. 218 00:14:18,119 --> 00:14:20,325 Thanks for stopping. This is unbelievable. 219 00:14:20,412 --> 00:14:23,616 -Happy to do it. -How's that Frosty treating you, Cecil? 220 00:14:24,125 --> 00:14:27,375 You got some on your beard. I'm just kidding. 221 00:14:27,461 --> 00:14:29,169 I got him big time, man. 222 00:14:30,047 --> 00:14:32,503 I'm going on the air in two hours' time. 223 00:14:32,591 --> 00:14:36,375 And I want that guy's life story by then. I'm talking to you, Jim. 224 00:14:36,846 --> 00:14:39,383 And I'm also talking to you, Babe. Babe? 225 00:14:40,307 --> 00:14:41,932 Where the hell's Babe? 226 00:14:42,017 --> 00:14:44,769 You missed another staff meeting. Mac's pissed. 227 00:14:44,854 --> 00:14:48,223 He won't be pissed when I crack this Blake story. 228 00:14:48,315 --> 00:14:51,519 -What do you got? -Nothing. Do you have anything? 229 00:14:51,777 --> 00:14:53,734 I'll have a lot more in a few hours. 230 00:14:53,821 --> 00:14:55,232 You got to be a pal. 231 00:14:55,322 --> 00:14:58,905 I need this story. I'm flat broke and Mac is going to fire me. 232 00:14:58,993 --> 00:15:01,994 How're you flat broke? You make more money than anyone here. 233 00:15:02,079 --> 00:15:04,155 -What did you blow it on? -Shoes. 234 00:15:04,248 --> 00:15:06,821 I'll tell you everything I know over lunch tomorrow... 235 00:15:06,917 --> 00:15:09,040 ...as long as your club promoter boyfriend... 236 00:15:09,128 --> 00:15:11,833 ...doesn't try to run me over with his motorcycle again. 237 00:15:11,922 --> 00:15:15,754 You're safe there. Ken and I are kind of taking a break. 238 00:15:15,843 --> 00:15:17,586 Really? So he moved out? 239 00:15:18,929 --> 00:15:22,096 Babe, what are you staying here for? I have a spare bedroom. 240 00:15:22,183 --> 00:15:24,341 We tried that once, remember? 241 00:15:24,435 --> 00:15:28,598 I woke up and you were standing over my bed, breathing heavily. 242 00:15:28,689 --> 00:15:31,975 I was having an asthma attack. I couldn't find my puffer. 243 00:15:34,778 --> 00:15:39,191 Easy, fellows. The Biggie Fries are making a comeback. 244 00:15:39,825 --> 00:15:43,953 You guys football fans? The Pats could take the conference this year. 245 00:15:44,038 --> 00:15:47,039 The Dolphins are overrated and the Jets are choke artists. 246 00:15:47,124 --> 00:15:48,784 I wouldn't say that, Mr. Deeds. 247 00:15:48,876 --> 00:15:52,245 -Just Deeds. Why is that, though? -You own the Jets, Deeds. 248 00:15:52,338 --> 00:15:53,666 I do? 249 00:15:55,883 --> 00:15:57,046 That sucks. 250 00:15:58,135 --> 00:16:02,464 I hope they don't play the Pats in the playoffs or I'll have to kill myself. 251 00:16:04,266 --> 00:16:06,638 I'm still very worried about this. 252 00:16:07,394 --> 00:16:10,977 What do you got in that pipe, hashish? You're paranoid. 253 00:16:11,232 --> 00:16:14,435 -This guy's perfect for us. -What if he won't sell us his shares? 254 00:16:14,527 --> 00:16:16,852 If I got Blake to trust me with his company... 255 00:16:16,946 --> 00:16:17,822 ...I can get this moron to do the same. Look at him. 256 00:16:17,822 --> 00:16:19,779 ...I can get this moron to do the same. Look at him. 257 00:16:45,558 --> 00:16:47,135 That's right, Anderson. 258 00:17:01,448 --> 00:17:02,991 Enough! 259 00:17:04,451 --> 00:17:05,697 Party pooper. 260 00:17:10,249 --> 00:17:11,660 Holy cow! 261 00:17:12,126 --> 00:17:13,750 What's up, New York? 262 00:17:14,378 --> 00:17:18,376 It's an honour to come to the greatest city in the world! 263 00:17:25,764 --> 00:17:30,723 Congratulations, Deeds, you're now the most eligible bachelor in New York. 264 00:17:30,978 --> 00:17:33,765 I don't want to meet a girl just because I'm wicked rich. 265 00:17:33,856 --> 00:17:36,525 That's nice, but let's see how you stick to your guns... 266 00:17:36,609 --> 00:17:40,191 ...once you've paid a visit to one of our many fine gentlemen's clubs. 267 00:17:40,279 --> 00:17:41,192 What? 268 00:17:41,614 --> 00:17:43,405 My father saved my mother. 269 00:17:43,490 --> 00:17:46,112 She was figure skating and fell through the ice. 270 00:17:46,202 --> 00:17:49,986 I always thought I'd meet a girl the same way. Bullspit like that. 271 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:53,746 Then I'll just keep a lookout for ladies in distress, as it were. 272 00:17:53,834 --> 00:17:56,159 -That'd be nice. -Hey, Mandrake Falls! 273 00:17:57,421 --> 00:17:59,129 Security, stop that guy! 274 00:17:59,965 --> 00:18:01,045 Stop! Come back! 275 00:18:01,133 --> 00:18:04,467 He'll get $100,000 for the picture. It'll be on the news in an hour. 276 00:18:04,553 --> 00:18:07,471 He deserves it with those James Bond moves he just pulled. 277 00:18:07,556 --> 00:18:11,720 No, he deserves to get his throat cut, the filthy spy. Come on, let's go. 278 00:18:18,943 --> 00:18:20,651 So this is where my uncle lived? 279 00:18:20,736 --> 00:18:24,319 Yes, sir. For the last 35 years of his astonishing life. 280 00:18:24,698 --> 00:18:28,317 -You kind of snuck up on me there. -I am very, very sneaky, sir. 281 00:18:28,536 --> 00:18:30,991 I see that. My name is Deeds. 282 00:18:31,121 --> 00:18:33,529 I am Emilio, sir. I am your servant. 283 00:18:33,874 --> 00:18:38,417 Servant? I don't want a servant, but if you want to be my friend, I'll take that. 284 00:18:39,046 --> 00:18:40,161 Friends. 285 00:18:40,714 --> 00:18:42,790 Yes, good friends. 286 00:18:43,801 --> 00:18:48,344 Would you like to go to your apartment? I'm sure it's been an exhausting day. 287 00:18:48,472 --> 00:18:50,928 -That okay with you, Chuck? -You'll be safe there. 288 00:18:51,016 --> 00:18:54,266 It'll take us a couple days to draw up the papers for you to sign. 289 00:18:54,353 --> 00:18:56,393 -Go make yourself at home. -Terrific. 290 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:58,639 -Later. -I will be with you shortly, sir. 291 00:18:58,732 --> 00:19:01,852 You got it. Nice to meet you. I'm Deeds. 292 00:19:02,736 --> 00:19:05,441 -I'm Reuben, sir. -This is a wicked nice elevator. 293 00:19:05,531 --> 00:19:08,697 Keep an eye on him, Emilio. Or it's your ass. 294 00:19:08,826 --> 00:19:10,617 It's nice to see you too, sir. 295 00:19:10,703 --> 00:19:13,276 So how's the elevator business treating you, Reuben? 296 00:19:13,372 --> 00:19:15,281 It has its ups and downs. 297 00:19:15,708 --> 00:19:17,831 All right! All right! 298 00:19:18,752 --> 00:19:20,033 That was good. 299 00:19:21,130 --> 00:19:23,455 Jeesum crow, how'd you get down here so fast? 300 00:19:23,549 --> 00:19:26,301 Sneaky-sneaky, sir. Right this way. 301 00:19:30,097 --> 00:19:31,093 Wow. 302 00:19:34,351 --> 00:19:35,680 Wow. 303 00:19:37,438 --> 00:19:39,395 Is something the matter, sir? 304 00:19:41,859 --> 00:19:44,314 -That's an echo, sir. -Yeah, you try it. 305 00:19:44,820 --> 00:19:46,860 -Me, sir? -lt's a lot of fun. 306 00:19:51,869 --> 00:19:54,360 Come on, you can do it louder than that. 307 00:20:02,463 --> 00:20:04,254 -Serious. -Thank you, sir. 308 00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:07,626 Hey, buddy, how you doing? You want to give it a shot? 309 00:20:09,762 --> 00:20:10,675 Nice. 310 00:20:13,098 --> 00:20:15,850 You guys want to join us? Make a weird noise. 311 00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:28,359 That was a great time. Well, I'm tired. I'd like to go to sleep. 312 00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:31,448 -This way. -Thank you very much. Good night. 313 00:20:31,534 --> 00:20:32,732 Good night. 314 00:20:41,293 --> 00:20:44,793 You just going to lie there and let the Post take your story? 315 00:20:58,394 --> 00:21:00,054 What's up, New York? 316 00:21:11,115 --> 00:21:11,532 He had a water fountain in his room. I love it. 317 00:21:11,532 --> 00:21:14,070 He had a water fountain in his room. I love it. 318 00:21:22,543 --> 00:21:24,203 That's Hawaiian Punch. 319 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,249 He adored... 320 00:21:26,422 --> 00:21:27,833 ...Hawaiian Punch. 321 00:21:27,923 --> 00:21:31,968 Wow! You kind of just snuck up on me. 322 00:21:32,553 --> 00:21:35,803 I fear you're underestimating the sneakiness. 323 00:21:36,015 --> 00:21:38,719 I guess I was. What are you doing down there? 324 00:21:38,976 --> 00:21:41,514 I am assisting you with your sock change. 325 00:21:41,604 --> 00:21:44,854 You'd change my socks for me? You don't got to do that. Stand up. 326 00:21:44,940 --> 00:21:45,722 Thank you. 327 00:21:45,816 --> 00:21:48,603 Besides, you don't want to have to touch my right foot. 328 00:21:48,694 --> 00:21:52,478 I got wicked bad frostbite when I was in the Scouts. Check it out. 329 00:21:57,786 --> 00:21:59,329 Pretty messed up, huh? 330 00:21:59,413 --> 00:22:03,707 The hideousness of that foot will haunt my dreams forever. 331 00:22:04,501 --> 00:22:06,375 Yeah, I've heard that before. 332 00:22:06,462 --> 00:22:09,379 But the weird thing is I got no feeling left in it. 333 00:22:09,465 --> 00:22:12,335 So you could jump on it and it wouldn't hurt me. 334 00:22:12,510 --> 00:22:15,676 -Go ahead, jump on it. -I'd really rather not, sir. 335 00:22:15,763 --> 00:22:17,471 Please jump on my foot. 336 00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:29,228 I didn't feel that. 337 00:22:29,318 --> 00:22:33,398 What else you got? Get that fireplace poker and whack my foot. 338 00:22:33,739 --> 00:22:37,357 -Do I absolutely have to? -lt's going to be fun. Just grab it. 339 00:22:39,036 --> 00:22:41,907 All my friends do this when they're wasted. 340 00:22:42,331 --> 00:22:43,327 Come on. 341 00:22:44,583 --> 00:22:46,375 Go ahead, give it a whack. 342 00:22:49,755 --> 00:22:51,036 -Nothing. -Really? 343 00:22:51,131 --> 00:22:52,507 Isn't that sick? 344 00:22:54,009 --> 00:22:56,417 Didn't feel that. Isn't that awesome? Go ahead. 345 00:22:56,512 --> 00:22:57,508 Nothing. 346 00:22:58,264 --> 00:23:01,798 You're starting to like it, aren't you? Chop that wood! 347 00:23:02,184 --> 00:23:03,465 That's it! 348 00:23:05,187 --> 00:23:08,556 You're sick! You're sick! Why would you do that? 349 00:23:08,649 --> 00:23:10,558 I'm just kidding you, pal. 350 00:23:11,902 --> 00:23:15,567 -You had me going there. -I saw your face, you were like... 351 00:23:17,283 --> 00:23:20,983 I got to find out from Cedar and Anderson what I'm supposed to do today. 352 00:23:21,078 --> 00:23:24,696 So could you take that out of my foot? I'm nailed to the ground. 353 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,072 There you go. 354 00:23:26,709 --> 00:23:30,042 I must insist on absolute secrecy regarding this discussion... 355 00:23:30,129 --> 00:23:32,702 ...till I've officially acquired Mr. Blake's shares. 356 00:23:32,798 --> 00:23:35,289 If that's acceptable, then as far as I'm concerned... 357 00:23:35,384 --> 00:23:38,005 ...you've just bought 2,000 radio stations. 358 00:23:39,180 --> 00:23:40,425 Good morning. 359 00:23:41,765 --> 00:23:42,761 Deeds. 360 00:23:43,184 --> 00:23:44,298 What's up? 361 00:23:44,810 --> 00:23:46,518 Doing a little business. 362 00:23:49,607 --> 00:23:53,390 This room's an echo room, too. I'm sure you guys already knew that. 363 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:55,351 May I help you? 364 00:23:55,446 --> 00:23:58,815 I just wanted to see if there's anything I should do today. 365 00:23:59,825 --> 00:24:02,067 I think we've got everything under control. 366 00:24:02,161 --> 00:24:06,787 There's got to be something. Until I sign those papers I own this place, right? 367 00:24:08,334 --> 00:24:09,496 What? 368 00:24:10,002 --> 00:24:12,410 Ladies and gentlemen, pardon me a moment, please. 369 00:24:12,505 --> 00:24:13,584 Of course. 370 00:24:13,672 --> 00:24:17,373 What's up, buddy? I was dreaming about Frosties all last night. You? 371 00:24:17,468 --> 00:24:20,635 I tried to make my own at home, but it wasn't the same. 372 00:24:21,847 --> 00:24:22,629 Deeds. 373 00:24:22,723 --> 00:24:26,673 Every stockholder, large and small, has a say in the operation of this company. 374 00:24:26,769 --> 00:24:29,390 They have this say at the annual stockholders' meeting. 375 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:33,098 The other 364 days of the year, the officers of the company, like me... 376 00:24:33,192 --> 00:24:35,944 -...run the show. -You mean now that my uncle's gone. 377 00:24:36,028 --> 00:24:38,353 Yeah, and it's not all fun and games. 378 00:24:38,697 --> 00:24:41,948 This company is a player on so many levels and in so many areas... 379 00:24:42,034 --> 00:24:45,284 ...that running it is literally a 24-hour-a-day job. 380 00:24:45,871 --> 00:24:48,541 I only got three hours of sleep last night. 381 00:24:48,874 --> 00:24:51,544 Then it's actually a 21-hour-a-day job, huh? 382 00:24:51,877 --> 00:24:54,878 Move it, lady. I don't give a damn about no meeting. 383 00:24:54,964 --> 00:24:56,672 Mr. Cedar, I am sorry... 384 00:24:56,882 --> 00:25:01,260 I passed for 3,500 yards last season and I ain't gonna touch a football... 385 00:25:01,345 --> 00:25:05,888 ...until you get off your fat, rich asses and renegotiate my bullshit contract. 386 00:25:06,892 --> 00:25:10,095 Easy with the language, buddy. There are ladies present. 387 00:25:10,896 --> 00:25:13,268 Shut the hell up, rich boy! 388 00:25:13,941 --> 00:25:17,476 I want more money, or you all can just suck my... 389 00:25:21,991 --> 00:25:23,236 I warned you. 390 00:25:24,618 --> 00:25:28,698 You went down like a sack of potatoes, I'll tell you that much. Come on. 391 00:25:30,082 --> 00:25:32,454 Come on, big man. Upsy-daisy. 392 00:25:32,626 --> 00:25:35,034 Ladies and gentlemen, football! 393 00:25:36,422 --> 00:25:38,794 What's the problem with your contract? 394 00:25:39,383 --> 00:25:43,381 I figured if I played well, I'd renegotiate and get more money. 395 00:25:43,762 --> 00:25:46,966 If you didn't play well, could we renegotiate and pay you less? 396 00:25:47,057 --> 00:25:48,220 Shit, no! 397 00:25:48,726 --> 00:25:50,386 I mean, no. 398 00:25:51,437 --> 00:25:53,513 Doesn't seem fair to me. 399 00:25:53,606 --> 00:25:57,935 -He led the League in touchdown passes. -That's okay, Chuck. I got this one. 400 00:25:58,235 --> 00:26:00,905 Listen, fellows, I want more money... 401 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,901 ...or I ain't even gonna play another down. 402 00:26:06,785 --> 00:26:09,027 Well, we'll have to let you go then. 403 00:26:09,914 --> 00:26:12,749 -Let me go? -Yeah, you're fired. 404 00:26:14,376 --> 00:26:16,084 So can I sign with another team? 405 00:26:16,170 --> 00:26:19,040 You can do anything. I suggest you change your attitude... 406 00:26:19,131 --> 00:26:21,622 ...or nobody will want to work with you. 407 00:26:22,551 --> 00:26:23,547 'Bye. 408 00:26:25,137 --> 00:26:26,133 Deeds. 409 00:26:26,430 --> 00:26:29,929 Kevin won the Heisman Trophy two years ago. He is our best player. 410 00:26:30,017 --> 00:26:33,718 -Don't worry, he'll be back. -Biggest mistake of your lives! 411 00:26:34,021 --> 00:26:35,515 This thing is cool. 412 00:26:36,023 --> 00:26:40,234 Why don't you get out and enjoy the city? Everything's fine here. Take that with you. 413 00:26:40,319 --> 00:26:43,770 I'll leave it here. That's all right. But call me if you need me. 414 00:26:43,864 --> 00:26:46,949 -Absolutely. -Thanks. Love you, Anderson. 415 00:26:47,118 --> 00:26:51,411 All you guys, I noticed you were French. The opposite of bonjour to you. 416 00:26:54,667 --> 00:26:56,244 You look so hot as a blond. 417 00:26:56,335 --> 00:26:59,252 It's not too streaky? I feel like he did it really streaky. 418 00:26:59,338 --> 00:27:02,624 I love it, but let me go undercover. This could get dangerous. 419 00:27:02,716 --> 00:27:06,796 He said he likes ladies in distress, not men who wear too much cologne. 420 00:27:07,054 --> 00:27:09,296 -There he is. -Thanks for the tour. 421 00:27:09,390 --> 00:27:12,759 -You're welcome. -Hidden cameras on, ready? Molest me. 422 00:27:13,894 --> 00:27:15,686 -Molest me! -You got it! 423 00:27:15,771 --> 00:27:17,764 -God, help! -Give it to me. 424 00:27:17,940 --> 00:27:19,932 -Help, I'm being mugged! -All right! 425 00:27:20,025 --> 00:27:22,481 Help! Help! I'm being mugged! 426 00:27:23,153 --> 00:27:25,823 -Stop it! -Good luck. See you at the office. 427 00:27:27,449 --> 00:27:29,941 -Don't worry, I'll get him. -Oh, shit! 428 00:27:30,953 --> 00:27:32,364 Stop right there. 429 00:27:37,626 --> 00:27:38,871 Come on! 430 00:27:43,048 --> 00:27:44,792 What's your problem, pal? 431 00:27:52,141 --> 00:27:53,386 Come up here. 432 00:27:54,977 --> 00:27:57,894 Got your pocketbook. Get a job, pal. 433 00:28:00,274 --> 00:28:01,472 Miss! Miss! 434 00:28:01,984 --> 00:28:04,736 -Are you okay? -What happened? 435 00:28:04,820 --> 00:28:06,314 Let me help you up. 436 00:28:07,364 --> 00:28:09,357 All right, now. All right. 437 00:28:15,247 --> 00:28:18,533 Ma'am, you were just the victim of a New York City mugger. 438 00:28:18,626 --> 00:28:21,081 As I suspected, he was a coward and a weakling. 439 00:28:21,170 --> 00:28:23,922 And also wore more cologne than any man should wear. 440 00:28:24,006 --> 00:28:26,675 -I got this back for you, though. -Thank you. 441 00:28:27,968 --> 00:28:30,803 -Can I take you to the hospital? -No, no. 442 00:28:31,764 --> 00:28:36,177 I'll be all right. I just feel a little dizzy and violated. 443 00:28:37,061 --> 00:28:38,389 I'm fine. 444 00:28:41,398 --> 00:28:44,150 Please, let me take you to the emergency room. 445 00:28:45,194 --> 00:28:47,946 I'm sure I'll be all right. I just need to... 446 00:28:48,364 --> 00:28:50,321 ...perhaps walk it off or... 447 00:28:50,407 --> 00:28:52,115 -Could you? -Sure. 448 00:28:52,201 --> 00:28:53,280 Thank you. 449 00:28:54,495 --> 00:28:55,954 Thank you so much. 450 00:28:56,997 --> 00:28:59,667 My name is Pam. Pam Dawson. 451 00:29:00,292 --> 00:29:04,586 My name is Deeds. I'm not from here. I'm just visiting. 452 00:29:06,173 --> 00:29:07,881 Where do you hail from? 453 00:29:08,217 --> 00:29:12,713 Mandrake Falls, New Hampshire. Just a little town nobody's ever heard of. 454 00:29:13,347 --> 00:29:15,505 I'm from a little town like that. 455 00:29:16,058 --> 00:29:18,976 -ln lowa. -ls that right? What part? 456 00:29:20,479 --> 00:29:23,599 Winchestertonfieldville. 457 00:29:25,401 --> 00:29:29,529 Yes, the small town of Winchestertonfieldville, lowa. 458 00:29:32,408 --> 00:29:33,606 I'm sorry. 459 00:29:33,701 --> 00:29:36,785 -What are you doing in New York? -I'm a school nurse. 460 00:29:37,580 --> 00:29:41,494 -There's no way you're a school nurse. -Why, don't you believe me? 461 00:29:41,959 --> 00:29:44,284 You're too nice to be a school nurse. 462 00:29:44,587 --> 00:29:48,335 My school nurse was so mean, every time I'd tell her I had a tummy ache... 463 00:29:48,424 --> 00:29:51,378 ...she'd send me back to my class and say, "Stop whining." 464 00:29:51,468 --> 00:29:54,256 -But that's awful! -Well, I said it every day. 465 00:29:56,515 --> 00:29:58,009 I missed my mother. 466 00:29:59,518 --> 00:30:00,847 That's sweet. 467 00:30:01,604 --> 00:30:02,802 Miss Dawson? 468 00:30:03,439 --> 00:30:06,356 How would you like to maybe go out... 469 00:30:06,442 --> 00:30:09,063 ...and have a New York City dinner with me? 470 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:10,482 Golly. 471 00:30:12,156 --> 00:30:13,947 That sounds wonderful. 472 00:30:14,158 --> 00:30:15,617 -lt does? -Yeah. 473 00:30:16,035 --> 00:30:18,277 -Let's do it, then. -Okay. 474 00:30:19,663 --> 00:30:21,620 Damn you, Old Spice. 475 00:30:25,127 --> 00:30:28,828 So you run this pizza place and you have your poetry. 476 00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:31,714 What brings you to the big city? 477 00:30:31,801 --> 00:30:34,338 Actually, I just inherited $40 billion. 478 00:30:35,471 --> 00:30:39,634 Well, that's nice, but I think anything over $30 billion is just gravy. 479 00:30:42,686 --> 00:30:43,931 I like that. 480 00:30:45,022 --> 00:30:47,893 Your hair is very blond and pretty. 481 00:30:47,983 --> 00:30:51,317 I'm of Swedish ancestry. 482 00:30:52,112 --> 00:30:53,655 -Really? -Yes. 483 00:30:54,532 --> 00:30:57,486 My grandfather was in ABBA. 484 00:30:58,953 --> 00:31:00,577 ABBA, the band? 485 00:31:01,205 --> 00:31:05,072 Excuse me, do you get any famous people in here? 486 00:31:05,167 --> 00:31:06,578 Famous, rich, powerful. 487 00:31:06,669 --> 00:31:09,504 Really? We don't get any famous people in Mandrake Falls. 488 00:31:09,588 --> 00:31:12,079 Stephen King stopped by our gas station one time... 489 00:31:12,174 --> 00:31:14,546 ...but everyone was too scared to talk to him. 490 00:31:14,635 --> 00:31:16,426 I'd imagine he'd be very spooky. 491 00:31:16,512 --> 00:31:19,881 Jake, the gas station attendant, made eye contact with him. 492 00:31:19,974 --> 00:31:21,931 That night he lost 200 pounds. 493 00:31:24,144 --> 00:31:25,140 Wow. 494 00:31:26,063 --> 00:31:28,269 Your chicken parmesan should be ready soon. 495 00:31:28,357 --> 00:31:32,569 Okay, buddy. I saw a couple over there. It's their anniversary. 496 00:31:33,195 --> 00:31:36,030 Give them this. Don't say it's from us, though. 497 00:31:36,740 --> 00:31:38,199 This is like $20,000. 498 00:31:38,284 --> 00:31:42,115 Tell them it was a restaurant giveaway or something. Thanks, buddy. 499 00:31:43,372 --> 00:31:46,788 That's an awfully nice way to start spending your money. 500 00:31:46,876 --> 00:31:48,952 -ls that who I think it is? -Who? 501 00:31:49,545 --> 00:31:52,380 Preston Blake's nephew, the $40-billion man. 502 00:31:53,299 --> 00:31:55,125 We have to meet him. Dave? 503 00:31:55,509 --> 00:31:58,510 Gosh, I hope that mugger got home okay. 504 00:31:58,846 --> 00:32:00,174 -Mr. Deeds. -Yeah. 505 00:32:00,264 --> 00:32:03,384 Mr. Simonds would like to invite you to join his party. 506 00:32:03,934 --> 00:32:05,132 Why is that? 507 00:32:05,519 --> 00:32:07,678 Just to enjoy the pleasure of your company. 508 00:32:07,771 --> 00:32:09,811 Wow, that's pretty cool of him. 509 00:32:14,194 --> 00:32:16,271 That was a very nice hug, Deeds. 510 00:32:16,405 --> 00:32:19,774 It's wicked nice of you to invite us over. This is awesome. 511 00:32:19,992 --> 00:32:23,076 -Have we met? -Not unless you have a sick kid. 512 00:32:23,495 --> 00:32:26,699 You're a very important man in this town now, Mr. Deeds. 513 00:32:26,791 --> 00:32:28,201 I don't know about that. 514 00:32:28,292 --> 00:32:30,119 I sing at the Metropolitan Opera... 515 00:32:30,210 --> 00:32:33,876 ...and Blake Media contributes 50 percent of our budget. 516 00:32:33,964 --> 00:32:35,874 So, on behalf of the opera: 517 00:32:35,966 --> 00:32:39,916 "Thank you" 518 00:32:43,098 --> 00:32:44,509 That was awesome! 519 00:32:44,850 --> 00:32:48,017 You shouldn't thank me, though. You should thank my great-uncle. 520 00:32:48,103 --> 00:32:49,479 He was an interesting man. 521 00:32:49,563 --> 00:32:51,971 I served on the board of the Guggenheim with him. 522 00:32:52,066 --> 00:32:55,399 Really? I'm not sure what that is, but good luck with it. 523 00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:59,155 I'd love to write a piece on you for The New Yorker. 524 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:00,817 What's The New Yorker? 525 00:33:01,784 --> 00:33:03,159 It's a magazine. 526 00:33:03,953 --> 00:33:06,622 With essays, witty cartoons. 527 00:33:07,331 --> 00:33:11,281 I read the Mandrake Falls Gazette and they got some cartoons in there also. 528 00:33:11,377 --> 00:33:13,950 You know who's a riot? That Beetle Bailey guy. 529 00:33:14,046 --> 00:33:16,917 He's always wearing his hat and doing his thing. 530 00:33:17,258 --> 00:33:20,045 But it is an honour to meet a real writer like you, George. 531 00:33:20,135 --> 00:33:22,757 I've been trying to get my stuff published for years... 532 00:33:22,847 --> 00:33:25,053 ...but Hallmark is one tough cookie to crack. 533 00:33:25,140 --> 00:33:27,678 -Hallmark? -He writes greeting cards. 534 00:33:28,394 --> 00:33:31,560 -I try. -You must share one with us. 535 00:33:31,647 --> 00:33:35,230 -I don't know about that, Mr. French. -Who's Mr. French? 536 00:33:35,317 --> 00:33:38,603 -Doesn't he look like Mr. French? -I've never heard of him. 537 00:33:38,696 --> 00:33:39,645 Come on. 538 00:33:39,738 --> 00:33:41,363 All right, I'll give you one. 539 00:33:41,448 --> 00:33:44,070 This is a Mother's Day card I've been working on. 540 00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:48,240 "Mom, you are the one who brought me to planet Earth 541 00:33:49,123 --> 00:33:52,243 "You are the one who suffered through my 14-hour birth 542 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:56,910 "You're the one who made lemonade for me after I'd come back from play 543 00:33:57,339 --> 00:34:01,467 "I love you, Mom, so have a wicked nice Mother's Day" 544 00:34:02,011 --> 00:34:03,553 Something like that. 545 00:34:04,221 --> 00:34:07,471 -An instant classic! -"Genius, genius, genius" 546 00:34:07,850 --> 00:34:10,222 Do you write your poems with a crayon? 547 00:34:14,189 --> 00:34:15,470 It's amazing! 548 00:34:16,817 --> 00:34:19,735 I see why you brought me here. To goof on me, huh? 549 00:34:20,196 --> 00:34:22,769 -Don't be silly, Deeds. -Pipe down, George. 550 00:34:23,198 --> 00:34:26,235 I may seem funny to you, but if you came to Mandrake Falls... 551 00:34:26,327 --> 00:34:29,447 ...you might seem funny to us. Only nobody would laugh at you... 552 00:34:29,538 --> 00:34:32,409 ...and make you feel stupid, that wouldn't be good manners. 553 00:34:32,500 --> 00:34:36,165 Maybe my poems aren't that great, but I know some people who like them. 554 00:34:36,253 --> 00:34:40,298 Anyways, it's the best I can do. We're going to get going. 555 00:34:40,382 --> 00:34:43,586 Sorry about that, Pam. I hope I didn't embarrass you. 556 00:34:48,599 --> 00:34:52,217 And if it wasn't for Miss Dawson being here, I'd knock your heads in. 557 00:34:52,311 --> 00:34:53,509 I don't mind. 558 00:34:53,812 --> 00:34:54,808 Okay. 559 00:34:58,484 --> 00:34:59,479 "No!" 560 00:35:06,241 --> 00:35:10,109 I think I just shat myself. 561 00:35:10,996 --> 00:35:13,369 How would you like to see the sights now? 562 00:35:13,457 --> 00:35:15,995 I just need to powder my nose. 563 00:35:16,085 --> 00:35:18,623 That would be great. I'll get your coat. 564 00:35:19,088 --> 00:35:22,872 Hey, buddy, this will pay for everything I damaged. Sorry about that. 565 00:35:22,967 --> 00:35:25,339 -Good to meet you guys. -Thank you. 566 00:35:25,427 --> 00:35:27,171 God, that was good stuff. 567 00:35:30,641 --> 00:35:32,183 I want a raise, Mac. 568 00:35:36,564 --> 00:35:38,390 Hey, man! What's up? 569 00:35:38,691 --> 00:35:40,849 Holy cannoli, you're John McEnroe! 570 00:35:40,943 --> 00:35:44,027 I saw what you did to those guys making fun of you. Nice work. 571 00:35:44,113 --> 00:35:47,232 You know what it's like to get riled up don't you, Johnny Mac? 572 00:35:47,324 --> 00:35:50,160 -That I do. -I'm Deeds, by the way. 573 00:35:50,244 --> 00:35:53,945 Deeds, nice to meet you. You got to let me buy you a drink. 574 00:35:54,039 --> 00:35:55,831 Miss Dawson, this is John McEnroe. 575 00:35:55,916 --> 00:35:59,581 -Miss Dawson, nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you, too. 576 00:35:59,795 --> 00:36:02,369 I promised Miss Dawson I'd take her sightseeing. 577 00:36:02,465 --> 00:36:05,715 The sights are great. I've seen the sights. I love the sights. 578 00:36:05,801 --> 00:36:08,885 Let me show you a New York most people will never see. 579 00:36:09,346 --> 00:36:12,715 -That okay with you, Miss Dawson? -Sounds like fun! 580 00:36:12,808 --> 00:36:15,299 Here's to a big night on the town. 581 00:36:27,781 --> 00:36:29,441 What happened? 582 00:36:29,533 --> 00:36:33,780 Here are some aspirins, Mr. Deeds. They make your head seem smaller. 583 00:36:37,791 --> 00:36:40,958 -How did I get in these pyjamas? -I changed you. 584 00:36:41,504 --> 00:36:43,164 I was very gentle, sir. 585 00:36:44,673 --> 00:36:48,007 I think I drank all the alcohol in Manhattan last night. 586 00:36:48,302 --> 00:36:51,303 And you nearly succeeded, according to Miss Dawson. 587 00:36:52,181 --> 00:36:55,846 Miss Dawson! I don't even remember taking her home. Is she okay? 588 00:36:55,935 --> 00:36:59,185 I took the liberty of sending her off in the company limousine. 589 00:36:59,271 --> 00:37:02,272 She was a lady in distress and I helped her. 590 00:37:02,858 --> 00:37:04,768 Dreamt about her last night. 591 00:37:05,069 --> 00:37:08,153 Usually, when you get blackout drunk you don't dream. 592 00:37:09,406 --> 00:37:10,486 So I read. 593 00:37:15,079 --> 00:37:16,489 What's up, Chuck? 594 00:37:19,917 --> 00:37:22,075 America's newest billionaire... 595 00:37:23,796 --> 00:37:25,835 -...stupid and drunk. -What's this? 596 00:37:25,923 --> 00:37:28,840 It was quite a night for Longfellow Deeds. 597 00:37:28,926 --> 00:37:31,547 They'll know my name is Longfellow. 598 00:37:32,012 --> 00:37:34,503 After punching out some society types... 599 00:37:35,891 --> 00:37:40,304 ...Deeds joined forces with the original bad boy of tennis, John McEnroe. 600 00:37:40,604 --> 00:37:43,060 And stupidity won in straight sets. 601 00:37:50,031 --> 00:37:51,940 How'd they get that footage? 602 00:37:52,241 --> 00:37:53,901 Watch out, Johnny! 603 00:37:56,579 --> 00:37:59,745 What kind of driving is that? You're a fucking disgrace! 604 00:38:00,416 --> 00:38:02,455 No, sir. You're a disgrace. 605 00:38:02,543 --> 00:38:04,832 -We did it, man! -Johnny McEnroe! 606 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:08,254 Look at Deedsy hanging out with McEnroe! That's awesome! 607 00:38:09,008 --> 00:38:10,632 I love the Beach Boys. 608 00:38:11,343 --> 00:38:13,466 Here I go, here I go. 609 00:38:15,848 --> 00:38:18,635 This is not the kind of attention we need right now. 610 00:38:18,726 --> 00:38:19,805 What do you mean? 611 00:38:19,894 --> 00:38:22,729 For the moment you're the largest stockholder... 612 00:38:22,813 --> 00:38:25,351 ...and people might think any instability you show... 613 00:38:25,441 --> 00:38:27,932 ...may equal instability in the company. 614 00:38:31,697 --> 00:38:32,693 My bad. 615 00:38:34,742 --> 00:38:36,984 My bad. My bad. 616 00:38:37,077 --> 00:38:38,026 Okay. Okay. 617 00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:39,199 -My bad. -Okay. 618 00:38:39,288 --> 00:38:42,455 Shall I call your car, Mr. Cedar, to take you to the funeral? 619 00:38:42,541 --> 00:38:43,870 What funeral? 620 00:38:44,793 --> 00:38:46,418 Your great-uncle's funeral. 621 00:38:46,503 --> 00:38:48,662 -His funeral's today? -Today, yes. 622 00:38:48,839 --> 00:38:50,631 I'll go get my suit on. 623 00:38:58,140 --> 00:39:00,263 -Cute, bigmouth. -Sir? 624 00:39:00,684 --> 00:39:03,056 As soon as that moron goes back to Cowpie Falls... 625 00:39:03,145 --> 00:39:06,182 ...you are out of here on your fat Puerto Rican ass. 626 00:39:10,820 --> 00:39:12,527 I hail from Spain, sir. 627 00:39:18,702 --> 00:39:19,947 Ole. 628 00:39:21,330 --> 00:39:25,410 Now, Brother Preston is soaring with eagles high above. 629 00:39:26,669 --> 00:39:29,290 Because he lived a life of love. 630 00:39:30,881 --> 00:39:33,716 Yes, he's flying way up high... 631 00:39:34,677 --> 00:39:37,250 ...because he was a super cool guy. 632 00:39:38,597 --> 00:39:41,966 He's gone away, too soon, it seems... 633 00:39:42,601 --> 00:39:45,519 ...leaving behind his unfinished dreams. 634 00:39:45,855 --> 00:39:48,606 This guy could make a fortune writing greeting cards. 635 00:39:48,691 --> 00:39:51,526 Yes, we remember Preston Blake... 636 00:39:52,027 --> 00:39:54,863 ...a man with faith no man could shake. 637 00:39:55,698 --> 00:39:57,856 A strength no man could break. 638 00:39:58,409 --> 00:40:00,900 A character no man could fake. 639 00:40:01,704 --> 00:40:04,277 For goodness sake, let's eat some cake. 640 00:40:04,665 --> 00:40:06,124 Amen. 641 00:40:08,043 --> 00:40:10,961 Excuse me, Reverend, that was a grand slam. 642 00:40:11,046 --> 00:40:13,964 That part with soaring with the eagles gave me goose bumps. 643 00:40:14,049 --> 00:40:17,383 -Thank you, my brother. -My friend got me a mug for my birthday. 644 00:40:17,469 --> 00:40:21,467 It says, "It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys." 645 00:40:21,557 --> 00:40:23,514 But what you said was better. 646 00:40:23,726 --> 00:40:25,006 It's all good. 647 00:40:25,394 --> 00:40:29,308 Rest in peace, Preston. That concludes today's service. 648 00:40:30,858 --> 00:40:33,396 I actually thought I would say something. 649 00:40:34,945 --> 00:40:37,650 Deedsy was always the best speaker in school. 650 00:40:38,323 --> 00:40:39,154 Deedsy? 651 00:40:39,241 --> 00:40:41,649 That's some job, by the way, Your Majesty. 652 00:40:41,744 --> 00:40:44,116 I thought we were watching Scooby-Doo. 653 00:40:44,580 --> 00:40:48,744 Hi, my name is Deeds. I was Preston Blake's great-nephew. 654 00:40:49,168 --> 00:40:52,501 I wrote a poem for him on my way over here, in my head. 655 00:40:52,838 --> 00:40:55,246 And I'm going to recite it for you. 656 00:40:55,925 --> 00:40:59,922 I didn't realize I'd be following the rhyme-master Reverend Sharpton. 657 00:41:00,387 --> 00:41:02,095 But here we go anyways. 658 00:41:02,681 --> 00:41:05,635 "You climbed mountains and built skyscrapers 659 00:41:06,852 --> 00:41:10,766 "You made TV shows and put out newspapers 660 00:41:12,441 --> 00:41:15,014 "You were wicked good at doing stocks 661 00:41:16,153 --> 00:41:19,024 "You liked it when Emilio would change your socks 662 00:41:20,282 --> 00:41:23,117 "We never hung out and that makes me sad 663 00:41:23,953 --> 00:41:26,278 "All the good times we could've had" 664 00:41:26,998 --> 00:41:28,456 Nice rhyme. 665 00:41:28,916 --> 00:41:32,367 "But when I die, Uncle Preston, you better say, 'Cheers!' 666 00:41:33,128 --> 00:41:35,798 "'Cause me and you are hanging at the pearly gates 667 00:41:35,881 --> 00:41:39,796 "I'll bring the beers, I'll bring the beers" 668 00:41:40,511 --> 00:41:41,590 He's good. 669 00:41:42,137 --> 00:41:43,133 Amen. 670 00:41:43,222 --> 00:41:46,887 I know this is supposed to be a closed casket, but where I come from... 671 00:41:46,976 --> 00:41:50,890 ...we feel it's good to see the body for the grieving process, so... 672 00:41:53,607 --> 00:41:56,608 Sorry about that! I'll keep this sucker closed. 673 00:42:01,448 --> 00:42:03,275 He's still pretty frozen. 674 00:42:03,909 --> 00:42:05,154 Almost there. 675 00:42:07,413 --> 00:42:09,820 I'll keep an eye on the company for you. Love you. 676 00:42:09,915 --> 00:42:12,585 Nice meeting you. Thanks for the apartment. 677 00:42:12,668 --> 00:42:14,043 That was freaky. 678 00:42:14,336 --> 00:42:16,128 Everybody drive home safe. 679 00:42:16,213 --> 00:42:18,289 Man, this guy is in way over his head. 680 00:42:18,382 --> 00:42:20,541 -Take care. -You'll see him tonight? 681 00:42:20,634 --> 00:42:23,968 Yes, I'm calling around 4:00. That's when I get off work. 682 00:42:24,179 --> 00:42:26,884 Remember, I'm Pam Dawson, virgin school nurse... 683 00:42:27,016 --> 00:42:29,803 ...from Winchestertonfieldville, lowa. 684 00:42:32,229 --> 00:42:33,640 That's priceless. 685 00:42:35,065 --> 00:42:36,310 You, a virgin. 686 00:42:42,865 --> 00:42:45,356 -All right, thank you. -Excuse me, sir. 687 00:42:45,784 --> 00:42:48,192 -I told him he could have that. -Thanks. 688 00:42:48,287 --> 00:42:50,078 Right on. Nice seeing you. 689 00:42:50,164 --> 00:42:52,951 You need to use our bathroom, come back and use it, okay? 690 00:42:53,041 --> 00:42:54,999 Will do, Deeds! 691 00:42:56,462 --> 00:42:58,620 How do you think I did at the funeral today? 692 00:42:58,714 --> 00:43:00,541 You spoke beautifully, sir. 693 00:43:00,674 --> 00:43:01,837 I still feel bad. 694 00:43:01,926 --> 00:43:05,626 I snapped my uncle's hand off when I put him back in the casket. 695 00:43:06,096 --> 00:43:08,173 Lucky for him, he was dead, sir. 696 00:43:08,557 --> 00:43:11,178 Even though his face was frozen that way... 697 00:43:11,477 --> 00:43:14,644 ...it looked to me like he was a happy guy. Am I right? 698 00:43:14,813 --> 00:43:17,518 -He truly was. -Come on, sit down, please. 699 00:43:18,025 --> 00:43:21,476 And I got to hang out with him, just like this... 700 00:43:21,987 --> 00:43:24,110 ...almost every day for 30 years. 701 00:43:24,615 --> 00:43:26,323 What did you guys talk about? 702 00:43:26,408 --> 00:43:30,572 We spoke of life, love, art, wine, business. 703 00:43:30,996 --> 00:43:32,704 I learned much from him. 704 00:43:32,998 --> 00:43:35,038 -I bet you miss him, too. -I do. 705 00:43:35,334 --> 00:43:37,243 He was like a parent to me. 706 00:43:38,003 --> 00:43:41,088 You see, I never knew my father, and Mama... 707 00:43:41,674 --> 00:43:44,295 ...she passed while giving the birth to me. 708 00:43:47,429 --> 00:43:49,967 -You want some Cocoa Pebbles? -No, thanks. 709 00:43:50,599 --> 00:43:53,885 I have much work to do. 710 00:43:54,186 --> 00:43:57,472 -Thanks. You don't have to do that. -Enjoy your Pebbles. 711 00:43:58,857 --> 00:44:00,268 One more thing. 712 00:44:00,901 --> 00:44:04,566 Your great-uncle did not let me change his socks for him, either. 713 00:44:05,531 --> 00:44:06,776 I like feet. 714 00:44:07,783 --> 00:44:09,242 I do not know why. 715 00:44:17,626 --> 00:44:18,456 Hello. 716 00:44:18,544 --> 00:44:21,213 Hi, Deeds? It's Pam. Pam Dawson. 717 00:44:21,297 --> 00:44:25,294 I'm so happy you called. I'm wicked sorry about last night. 718 00:44:25,384 --> 00:44:26,961 I don't drink very often. 719 00:44:27,052 --> 00:44:29,923 I thought you held your liquor very well. 720 00:44:30,014 --> 00:44:32,421 Unfortunately, I couldn't hold it for too long. 721 00:44:32,516 --> 00:44:36,134 That's okay. I didn't really like that skirt anyway. 722 00:44:37,438 --> 00:44:40,889 I'm getting a call on the other line. Can you hang on for a second? 723 00:44:40,983 --> 00:44:42,643 -Sure. -Thank you. 724 00:44:43,319 --> 00:44:44,101 Hello. 725 00:44:44,195 --> 00:44:47,563 Mr. Deeds, this is Kevin Ward, the quarterback you punched. 726 00:44:47,781 --> 00:44:49,192 What's up, buddy? 727 00:44:49,366 --> 00:44:54,324 I wanted to say that I was thinking it over and I'd like to live up to my word. 728 00:44:54,580 --> 00:44:56,371 And I'd like to win you a Super Bowl. 729 00:44:56,457 --> 00:44:59,826 -That's terrific, pal. -And my daddy wants to speak to you. 730 00:45:00,503 --> 00:45:02,910 Deeds. Buddy Ward here, Kevin's daddy. 731 00:45:03,005 --> 00:45:04,168 How you doing, Mr. Ward? 732 00:45:04,256 --> 00:45:06,629 I just want to thank you for teaching my boy a lesson. 733 00:45:06,717 --> 00:45:10,715 He's a good kid. He just has to watch his language in front of the ladies. 734 00:45:13,807 --> 00:45:15,930 I'll remind Kevin where he comes from. 735 00:45:16,018 --> 00:45:17,477 That sounds terrific. 736 00:45:17,561 --> 00:45:20,681 You used foul language in front of a lady? 737 00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:22,685 No, Daddy, no! 738 00:45:26,821 --> 00:45:27,686 Pam. 739 00:45:28,030 --> 00:45:29,193 Still here. 740 00:45:29,281 --> 00:45:30,906 How's it going? You at work? 741 00:45:30,991 --> 00:45:34,158 -Yep, here in the nurse's office. -Any customers? 742 00:45:34,954 --> 00:45:37,112 Customers? Oh, sick kids. 743 00:45:38,082 --> 00:45:41,415 Well, little Billy Barty's here. 744 00:45:42,252 --> 00:45:47,247 -You're not feeling too good, Billy? -Miss Dawson, my tummy hurts. 745 00:45:47,550 --> 00:45:50,005 Why don't you just lay back and relax? 746 00:45:50,636 --> 00:45:52,213 That was nice. Good job. 747 00:45:52,304 --> 00:45:56,053 I've got too much doo-doo in my underpants. 748 00:45:57,142 --> 00:45:59,468 Make the stinky go away. 749 00:45:59,854 --> 00:46:02,854 Well, you sound like you got your hands full, so... 750 00:46:02,982 --> 00:46:04,974 ...l'll just come out with it. 751 00:46:05,234 --> 00:46:08,235 How would you like to do something with me tonight? 752 00:46:08,612 --> 00:46:10,521 I'd love to do something with you. 753 00:46:10,614 --> 00:46:11,563 Great. 754 00:46:11,698 --> 00:46:14,368 We can't go out drinking. I got our company in trouble. 755 00:46:14,451 --> 00:46:18,070 That's okay. I was brought up never to drink alcohol. 756 00:46:18,789 --> 00:46:20,746 Not even rum raisin ice cream. 757 00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,621 I like that. I'll think of something good. 758 00:46:24,211 --> 00:46:25,242 See you tonight. 759 00:46:25,337 --> 00:46:26,535 Okay. 'Bye. 760 00:46:30,467 --> 00:46:32,010 I got to try this. 761 00:46:44,857 --> 00:46:46,268 Was that awesome? 762 00:46:47,943 --> 00:46:49,568 Am I out or safe? 763 00:46:51,405 --> 00:46:52,864 I'm with you. 764 00:46:54,825 --> 00:46:58,490 What is this? My great-uncle's personal journal. 765 00:47:00,039 --> 00:47:02,530 -Should I read it? -Family. 766 00:47:04,293 --> 00:47:06,084 Family, safe, good. 767 00:47:06,503 --> 00:47:10,169 All right, have a good night. My back hurts! 768 00:47:15,012 --> 00:47:17,384 -Nice doing business with you. -Thank you. 769 00:47:17,473 --> 00:47:19,015 Thanks for the bikes. 770 00:47:19,099 --> 00:47:21,590 What are you gonna do with your $20,000? 771 00:47:21,685 --> 00:47:24,473 Buy a giraffe. What are you gonna do with your $20,000? 772 00:47:24,563 --> 00:47:26,022 Quit school. 773 00:47:26,106 --> 00:47:30,270 Good idea, school is for fools. Look at me! 774 00:47:55,719 --> 00:47:57,593 The park is beautiful. 775 00:47:58,514 --> 00:48:02,179 These trees, they remind you of Winchestertonfieldville at all? 776 00:48:03,269 --> 00:48:05,594 Oh, yes. Very much so. 777 00:48:06,272 --> 00:48:08,430 What was it like growing up there? 778 00:48:08,565 --> 00:48:09,811 It was great. 779 00:48:10,526 --> 00:48:14,274 I remember walking down to the corner drugstore... 780 00:48:14,363 --> 00:48:16,652 ...and getting malted milkshakes. 781 00:48:17,783 --> 00:48:19,574 What was your house like? 782 00:48:20,035 --> 00:48:22,324 We had this big Victorian. 783 00:48:23,372 --> 00:48:25,080 Right off Main Street. 784 00:48:25,875 --> 00:48:29,623 -Blue shutters and a big red door. -All right. 785 00:48:30,004 --> 00:48:33,918 -And a tire swing in the front yard. -I love it. 786 00:48:34,383 --> 00:48:38,926 And I remember the time I fell out of old Boo Radley's apple tree... 787 00:48:39,054 --> 00:48:40,596 ...and broke my arm. 788 00:48:41,098 --> 00:48:45,511 And my father, before he passed away... 789 00:48:45,936 --> 00:48:48,178 ...from the disease of the lepers... 790 00:48:48,272 --> 00:48:52,601 ...he came and he scooped me up and he ran me all the way to Dr. Pepper's. 791 00:48:54,236 --> 00:48:55,399 Dr. Pepper. 792 00:48:56,238 --> 00:48:57,234 Yeah. 793 00:48:57,531 --> 00:48:59,488 I'm glad that guy was around. 794 00:49:00,242 --> 00:49:02,484 -Want to sit down? -Sure. 795 00:49:04,538 --> 00:49:06,246 -Thank you. -My pleasure. 796 00:49:06,749 --> 00:49:10,200 I was reading my great-uncle's journal on my way over to you. 797 00:49:10,294 --> 00:49:12,536 And, when he was age 9... 798 00:49:12,630 --> 00:49:16,378 ...he wrote that he had the only family on the block with a radio... 799 00:49:16,467 --> 00:49:19,384 ...and he was dreaming of becoming a disc jockey someday. 800 00:49:19,470 --> 00:49:21,795 A disc jockey? 801 00:49:24,099 --> 00:49:27,468 You know, when I was a kid, I wanted to be a news reporter. 802 00:49:28,437 --> 00:49:31,189 I used to go around interviewing everyone... 803 00:49:31,273 --> 00:49:34,440 ...and writing notes in my little Holly Hobby notebook. 804 00:49:36,237 --> 00:49:39,487 People didn't like that. I got beat up a lot. 805 00:49:39,657 --> 00:49:43,606 -Do you remember their names? -No, it was a long time ago. 806 00:49:44,787 --> 00:49:46,530 But my grandma said to me: 807 00:49:46,914 --> 00:49:50,117 "One day you'll grow up and work for 60 Minutes... 808 00:49:50,209 --> 00:49:52,700 "...and make a difference in the world." 809 00:49:53,212 --> 00:49:57,292 You do make a difference in the world, every day. You're a school nurse. 810 00:50:00,427 --> 00:50:02,550 Anyways, this is what happened to my uncle. 811 00:50:02,638 --> 00:50:06,849 Later on in his life, he'd go to this radio station that he owned... 812 00:50:06,934 --> 00:50:09,852 ...at 3:00 in the morning and DJ for an hour. 813 00:50:09,937 --> 00:50:11,182 That's great. 814 00:50:12,189 --> 00:50:15,356 So, don't give up hope. You'll be a reporter someday. 815 00:50:15,943 --> 00:50:17,521 If you really want to. 816 00:50:18,988 --> 00:50:20,612 That would be nice. 817 00:50:23,701 --> 00:50:25,824 -Jeesum Crow, a fire! -A fire? 818 00:50:26,328 --> 00:50:28,202 -We should help. -We should? 819 00:50:28,289 --> 00:50:30,281 -Let's get going. -To the fire? 820 00:50:30,833 --> 00:50:34,498 -Fifi, get over here right now. -Come on, we'll catch you. 821 00:50:34,837 --> 00:50:38,372 Go away! I can't leave without my kitties. They're all I got. 822 00:50:39,466 --> 00:50:40,332 Crazy lady! 823 00:50:40,426 --> 00:50:43,462 -Oh, babies, where are you? -Up there now, get going! 824 00:50:43,762 --> 00:50:48,424 Longfellow Deeds, Mandrake Falls volunteer fire chief. I'll be up there in a jiff. 825 00:50:48,517 --> 00:50:51,553 -He's crazy! -He's going up there right now, though. 826 00:50:51,687 --> 00:50:53,763 -Look at him. -Where's he going? 827 00:50:54,815 --> 00:50:56,013 Watch it, man! 828 00:50:56,317 --> 00:50:58,808 -Sully, who's that guy up there? -I don't know. 829 00:50:58,903 --> 00:51:01,987 He says he's from the Mandrake Falls Fire Department. 830 00:51:02,698 --> 00:51:06,281 -How's he climb like that? -He must have monkey blood in him. 831 00:51:06,368 --> 00:51:09,038 It's an honour to work with New York's bravest, guys. 832 00:51:09,121 --> 00:51:10,450 Be careful! 833 00:51:10,539 --> 00:51:13,955 -I'll get you. -Babies, where are you? 834 00:51:14,043 --> 00:51:16,284 -Ma'am! -Lord, it's hot in here. 835 00:51:16,503 --> 00:51:19,837 -Kitties, come to Mommy. -Calm down. Everything will be all right. 836 00:51:19,924 --> 00:51:22,165 Okay, but I'm not leaving without my kitties. 837 00:51:22,259 --> 00:51:24,051 -How many do you got? -Seven. 838 00:51:24,136 --> 00:51:26,176 Holy shit! Let's get cracking. 839 00:51:27,890 --> 00:51:30,760 -I apologize for the language. -Apology accepted. 840 00:51:35,481 --> 00:51:38,150 -Fire excites me. -Knock yourself out. 841 00:51:40,069 --> 00:51:42,357 -Come here. -That's Freddy. 842 00:51:43,197 --> 00:51:46,198 -Here we go! -Oh, my children! 843 00:51:52,331 --> 00:51:55,202 -Nice catch, Pam! -Good throw, Deeds! 844 00:52:06,428 --> 00:52:09,928 -That's Frobo. Thank you, darling. -Coming at you, boys. 845 00:52:13,894 --> 00:52:15,223 I'll take that. 846 00:52:16,021 --> 00:52:18,263 -There's a lot more. -Okay, okay. 847 00:52:30,494 --> 00:52:32,238 Holy shit, it's a cat! 848 00:52:35,958 --> 00:52:38,116 Full snap. I got you, kitty. 849 00:52:40,713 --> 00:52:42,041 Nice grab! 850 00:52:43,507 --> 00:52:44,788 One more to go. 851 00:52:45,259 --> 00:52:47,382 Fifi, where are you? 852 00:52:48,637 --> 00:52:51,638 -I think I found Fifi. -Oh, good! 853 00:52:52,474 --> 00:52:54,348 Hang in there, buddy! 854 00:52:55,853 --> 00:52:57,098 I got it! 855 00:53:04,904 --> 00:53:06,813 Okay, let's do this together. 856 00:53:08,073 --> 00:53:09,568 Be careful! 857 00:53:09,658 --> 00:53:12,529 All right, they do it all the time. Here we go. 858 00:53:15,748 --> 00:53:16,827 Oh, shit! 859 00:53:20,377 --> 00:53:21,373 Deeds. 860 00:53:21,921 --> 00:53:23,249 I'm okay. 861 00:53:23,798 --> 00:53:25,042 Are you okay? 862 00:53:26,217 --> 00:53:28,542 Yes, I am. Thanks to you! 863 00:53:30,971 --> 00:53:32,430 You're hurting me! 864 00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:38,767 Longfellow Deeds is at it again. 865 00:53:39,438 --> 00:53:41,561 His latest victim, Coretta Keeling... 866 00:53:41,648 --> 00:53:44,436 ...whose only crime was loving her cats too much. 867 00:53:44,526 --> 00:53:46,768 And letting Deeds find out about it. 868 00:53:47,071 --> 00:53:49,396 -I'll get you! -Go away! 869 00:53:50,199 --> 00:53:52,191 -I love it. -Here comes two! 870 00:53:55,037 --> 00:53:58,287 -Cat killer! -After he finished with her cats... 871 00:53:58,374 --> 00:54:01,244 ...he turned his sights on Miss Keeling herself. 872 00:54:03,587 --> 00:54:04,832 My God! 873 00:54:05,381 --> 00:54:06,709 That's not what I shot. 874 00:54:06,799 --> 00:54:09,504 Has Longfellow Deeds been locked up? Of course not. 875 00:54:09,593 --> 00:54:14,089 While the rest of us obey the law, rich playboys like himself get to laugh at it. 876 00:54:15,724 --> 00:54:19,140 Longfellow Deeds. Our jackass of the week. 877 00:54:20,062 --> 00:54:22,351 What the hell? Who edited that? 878 00:54:22,690 --> 00:54:27,019 I did. Your first cut was great, but I needed to spice it up a bit. 879 00:54:27,319 --> 00:54:29,229 The truth was a great story. 880 00:54:29,613 --> 00:54:32,614 He saved that woman and her seven cats. 881 00:54:32,699 --> 00:54:35,404 -He was heroic! -Heroic is nice. 882 00:54:35,703 --> 00:54:38,241 -Depraved and insane is better. -Hell, yeah! 883 00:54:38,330 --> 00:54:42,114 This footage you're getting, gorgeous. Keep it coming! 884 00:54:43,210 --> 00:54:45,748 God, how can we do this to such a sweet guy? 885 00:54:45,838 --> 00:54:47,877 Sweet? Sweet? 886 00:54:48,591 --> 00:54:50,049 Look at me! 887 00:54:50,134 --> 00:54:53,668 Was he sweet when he gave me the most savage beating of my life? 888 00:54:53,762 --> 00:54:56,051 -You were mugging me! -Babe! 889 00:54:56,891 --> 00:55:00,224 No one is as good as this guy's pretending to be. 890 00:55:00,853 --> 00:55:02,395 Don't be a sucker. 891 00:55:03,063 --> 00:55:04,771 He doesn't deserve this. 892 00:55:06,942 --> 00:55:08,602 He doesn't deserve you. 893 00:55:10,237 --> 00:55:11,566 My neck! 894 00:55:16,243 --> 00:55:20,407 I feel like an idiot. They made me look like a fool, Jan. 895 00:55:21,082 --> 00:55:24,450 I was thinking of going down to that Inside Access place... 896 00:55:24,585 --> 00:55:27,586 ...and giving Mac McGrath the beating of a lifetime. 897 00:55:27,963 --> 00:55:31,249 That sounds like fun, but don't stoop to their level. 898 00:55:31,759 --> 00:55:33,835 You're better than that, Deedsy. 899 00:55:34,011 --> 00:55:37,546 So hang in there. And know that we are always here for you. 900 00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:42,934 Thanks, Jan. My uncle really built an amazing company. 901 00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:46,770 Because of him, 50, 000 people have jobs. 902 00:55:47,274 --> 00:55:49,848 And he always tried to do the right thing. 903 00:55:50,861 --> 00:55:53,103 Well, he does sound amazing. 904 00:55:53,656 --> 00:55:56,906 But don't forget, he was related to you. 905 00:55:57,326 --> 00:56:01,739 Enough about that. Tell me more about this girl. 906 00:56:02,998 --> 00:56:06,616 She's nice, a small-town kid, like me. 907 00:56:07,461 --> 00:56:10,379 Deedsy, you sick ass mo' fo'... 908 00:56:10,464 --> 00:56:13,964 You got to tap that before she starts boning other guys, kid. 909 00:56:14,593 --> 00:56:15,625 Boo-Yah! 910 00:56:17,554 --> 00:56:20,923 He thinks it's you! He thinks it's you! 911 00:56:22,309 --> 00:56:26,437 -Let's go, Cedar. Put some steam on it, kid. -Here it comes. 912 00:56:29,149 --> 00:56:31,901 He's trying to kill me. You're good at this. 913 00:56:31,986 --> 00:56:35,236 When you asked me to play, I thought you'd done this before. 914 00:56:35,322 --> 00:56:38,074 No, Johnny McEnroe said it was wicked easy. 915 00:56:38,325 --> 00:56:40,532 Plus, it was my uncle's favourite game, right? 916 00:56:40,619 --> 00:56:43,324 -How'd you know that? -I read it in his diary. 917 00:56:44,165 --> 00:56:45,160 Really? 918 00:56:46,166 --> 00:56:48,159 I didn't know he kept a diary. 919 00:56:52,381 --> 00:56:54,089 Sorry about that, dude. 920 00:56:54,216 --> 00:56:56,292 It's okay. He's a new member. 921 00:56:57,094 --> 00:56:58,173 Ball boy. 922 00:56:59,221 --> 00:57:00,301 Ball boy! 923 00:57:02,641 --> 00:57:04,848 All right, baby, I'm ready for you. 924 00:57:09,273 --> 00:57:10,436 You okay? 925 00:57:10,691 --> 00:57:13,478 -Not a problem. -Anderson, you liked that, didn't you? 926 00:57:13,569 --> 00:57:14,731 I did. 927 00:57:14,945 --> 00:57:17,317 Listen, Deeds, I got some good news. 928 00:57:17,406 --> 00:57:19,564 Those papers will be ready to sign tomorrow. 929 00:57:19,658 --> 00:57:23,110 So you can relax knowing your uncle's company'll be in good hands... 930 00:57:23,203 --> 00:57:25,362 ...and you can go home $40 billion richer. 931 00:57:25,456 --> 00:57:28,029 I was thinking about maybe sticking around here... 932 00:57:28,125 --> 00:57:30,877 -...and going to some meetings with you. -What? 933 00:57:33,005 --> 00:57:34,168 Fault! 934 00:57:34,298 --> 00:57:37,168 I figured I could learn, like this tennis thing. 935 00:57:40,638 --> 00:57:43,307 I swear to God, I'm not trying to do that. 936 00:57:44,809 --> 00:57:47,644 I don't got to sell my shares right away, do I? 937 00:57:48,062 --> 00:57:51,894 Plus, I met this girl, Cedar. I swear to God, I think she's the one. 938 00:57:53,150 --> 00:57:54,894 That's wonderful for you. 939 00:57:57,822 --> 00:58:00,194 That got you right in the throat, huh? 940 00:58:01,450 --> 00:58:04,736 Got to ask you, though, if it hits you, is it my point or yours? 941 00:58:04,829 --> 00:58:07,154 -Yours. -I'm winning then, I guess. 942 00:58:13,128 --> 00:58:16,332 "Deeds info, meet in shower"? 943 00:58:21,637 --> 00:58:23,012 Sweet Jesus! 944 00:58:23,722 --> 00:58:27,056 Who are you? And what do you want to tell me? 945 00:58:27,601 --> 00:58:30,009 I'm a junior producer at Inside Access. 946 00:58:30,437 --> 00:58:34,518 I have information that will help you get Deeds out of town. Interested? 947 00:58:34,900 --> 00:58:39,527 Very. Provided the information is good and you stop soaping your ass. 948 00:58:43,534 --> 00:58:46,286 -You know Deeds' girlfriend? -The school nurse. 949 00:58:46,870 --> 00:58:48,199 Not quite. 950 00:58:50,499 --> 00:58:54,164 Lucy, bring me the overnights. J.D. will tell you where they are. 951 00:58:54,336 --> 00:58:57,088 Hey. What the hell are you doing in my chair? 952 00:58:57,631 --> 00:58:58,829 Chuck Cedar. 953 00:58:59,508 --> 00:59:02,177 I think you and I could help each other out. 954 00:59:06,390 --> 00:59:09,723 -You excited about this trip? -I'm so excited. 955 00:59:10,394 --> 00:59:13,680 -Where are you taking me? -I told you, that's a surprise. 956 00:59:20,529 --> 00:59:21,560 Well? 957 00:59:23,574 --> 00:59:26,243 "Winchestertonfieldville, lowa." 958 00:59:27,244 --> 00:59:29,071 You got to be shitting me. 959 00:59:29,705 --> 00:59:31,698 I never heard you curse before. 960 00:59:31,791 --> 00:59:33,333 I'm that excited! 961 00:59:37,129 --> 00:59:41,791 All you Winchestertonfieldvillians, recognize this little girl? 962 00:59:44,595 --> 00:59:47,798 I'll give you a hint. "I fell out of Boo Radley's apple tree... 963 00:59:47,890 --> 00:59:49,883 "...and my arm is killing me!" 964 00:59:53,937 --> 00:59:56,096 Come on, it's little Pammy Dawson! 965 00:59:58,108 --> 00:59:59,140 Hello. 966 01:00:00,069 --> 01:00:01,895 You related to Bill Dawson? 967 01:00:02,196 --> 01:00:04,947 Yes, he's my relative. 968 01:00:05,783 --> 01:00:07,491 I think I remember you. 969 01:00:08,202 --> 01:00:10,693 Did you used to have a hump on your back? 970 01:00:11,622 --> 01:00:15,620 -Yes, that was me. I had a slight hump. -Really? 971 01:00:15,709 --> 01:00:17,417 This was no slight hump. 972 01:00:17,628 --> 01:00:21,839 The girl I'm thinking of looked like she had a damn beach ball on her back. 973 01:00:22,216 --> 01:00:25,916 Okay, it was a huge hump and I'm a little sensitive about it. 974 01:00:26,136 --> 01:00:29,256 Look, Martha, it's Quasimodo, all growed up. 975 01:00:29,515 --> 01:00:32,681 How wonderful! I thought you died. 976 01:00:33,936 --> 01:00:36,142 She actually became a school nurse. 977 01:00:36,272 --> 01:00:37,814 -You're a nurse? -Yes. 978 01:00:38,107 --> 01:00:40,016 What should I do about this? 979 01:00:47,199 --> 01:00:49,524 -I would call Dr. Pepper. -Who? 980 01:00:49,910 --> 01:00:53,990 It was so great seeing everybody again. We're going to leave now. 981 01:00:54,331 --> 01:00:55,245 'Bye. 982 01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:58,329 -Hi, mailman. -'Morning. 983 01:00:58,419 --> 01:00:59,747 How you doing? 984 01:01:03,257 --> 01:01:04,965 Oh, my God, there it is. 985 01:01:05,176 --> 01:01:09,422 Blue shutters, red door, tire swing. That's your house, isn't it? 986 01:01:10,848 --> 01:01:12,425 Wouldn't you know it? 987 01:01:12,975 --> 01:01:14,137 Come on. 988 01:01:16,520 --> 01:01:19,391 How you guys doing? You know who she is? 989 01:01:20,774 --> 01:01:23,811 She used to live in this house when she was a little girl. 990 01:01:23,903 --> 01:01:24,851 It's true. 991 01:01:24,945 --> 01:01:28,777 You live here and she used to live here. You're practically cousins. 992 01:01:31,285 --> 01:01:33,076 So many memories. 993 01:01:34,872 --> 01:01:36,247 Where to begin? 994 01:01:37,082 --> 01:01:39,490 This is our fireplace... 995 01:01:40,044 --> 01:01:42,582 ...where my dad would build fires... 996 01:01:43,339 --> 01:01:44,370 ...out of wood. 997 01:01:44,465 --> 01:01:48,213 And this is the dining room, where we would have our meals... 998 01:01:48,302 --> 01:01:49,677 ...made of food. 999 01:01:50,054 --> 01:01:52,461 And this was my brother's room. 1000 01:01:53,307 --> 01:01:55,216 My parents hated my brother. 1001 01:01:55,476 --> 01:01:59,010 My daddy built this house with his bare hands six years ago. 1002 01:02:00,022 --> 01:02:01,730 Your daddy is a liar. 1003 01:02:02,733 --> 01:02:04,061 How come you... 1004 01:02:07,321 --> 01:02:10,156 He's choking. We should go. 1005 01:02:10,240 --> 01:02:12,150 -Help. -What are you talking about? 1006 01:02:12,243 --> 01:02:14,615 -You're the nurse, help him. -Save him! 1007 01:02:14,745 --> 01:02:17,117 -Stand back, kids. -He's gonna die! 1008 01:02:17,707 --> 01:02:20,197 -Take him to the hospital! -Smack it out! 1009 01:02:20,375 --> 01:02:22,701 -Save him! -Get it out of him! 1010 01:02:23,087 --> 01:02:24,498 Save him, please! 1011 01:02:29,969 --> 01:02:32,257 -That was amazing. -Thank you. 1012 01:02:32,930 --> 01:02:34,341 I saved his life. 1013 01:02:35,307 --> 01:02:37,217 You're my hero, Nurse Dawson. 1014 01:02:42,398 --> 01:02:43,975 Thank you, thank you. 1015 01:02:45,234 --> 01:02:47,642 -Good parking job, buddy. -Thanks, Deeds. 1016 01:02:48,070 --> 01:02:49,612 Testing, testing. 1017 01:02:50,031 --> 01:02:52,106 I had such a wonderful time. 1018 01:02:52,449 --> 01:02:54,905 Thank you for such a great day. 1019 01:02:56,579 --> 01:03:00,623 -Thanks for showing me your town. -I hope sometime to see your hometown. 1020 01:03:01,250 --> 01:03:03,871 Maybe someday this will be my new hometown. 1021 01:03:05,129 --> 01:03:06,125 Deeds. 1022 01:03:07,047 --> 01:03:10,381 -There's something I have to tell you. -What's the matter? 1023 01:03:12,344 --> 01:03:13,258 What? 1024 01:03:14,680 --> 01:03:17,930 Go back to New Hampshire and enjoy being rich. 1025 01:03:18,684 --> 01:03:19,799 Just... 1026 01:03:20,394 --> 01:03:23,015 ...don't let anyone hurt you anymore, okay? 1027 01:03:24,565 --> 01:03:25,728 Sucker. 1028 01:03:28,736 --> 01:03:29,731 Pam. 1029 01:03:31,822 --> 01:03:33,400 I made a card for you. 1030 01:03:34,158 --> 01:03:35,486 It's kind of dumb. 1031 01:03:35,576 --> 01:03:39,408 I never worked on anything harder, though, so don't laugh at me. 1032 01:03:41,040 --> 01:03:43,744 Remember we went to the restaurant that first night... 1033 01:03:43,834 --> 01:03:45,743 ...and you ordered chicken parmesan? 1034 01:03:45,836 --> 01:03:47,496 So I drew you a plate. 1035 01:03:48,297 --> 01:03:50,788 There's the chicken and the cheese... 1036 01:03:51,467 --> 01:03:55,251 ...and the linguini. That took me a long time with the squigglies. 1037 01:03:56,305 --> 01:03:57,585 It's beautiful. 1038 01:03:57,932 --> 01:04:00,008 There's a poem inside for you. 1039 01:04:04,813 --> 01:04:07,565 "Hard to breathe, feels like floating 1040 01:04:08,567 --> 01:04:11,651 "So full of love my heart's exploding 1041 01:04:13,822 --> 01:04:16,148 "Mouth is dry, hands are shaking 1042 01:04:17,493 --> 01:04:19,651 "My heart is yours for the taking 1043 01:04:21,539 --> 01:04:24,076 "Acting weird, not myself 1044 01:04:26,126 --> 01:04:29,376 "Dancing around like the Keebler elf" 1045 01:04:30,131 --> 01:04:31,459 That was funny. 1046 01:04:33,509 --> 01:04:36,296 "Finally time for this poor schlub 1047 01:04:37,012 --> 01:04:39,847 "To know how it feels to fall in lub" 1048 01:04:41,016 --> 01:04:44,183 I couldn't think of anything else that rhymes with "schlub." 1049 01:04:44,270 --> 01:04:46,179 "Rub" and "tub" didn't work. 1050 01:04:55,948 --> 01:04:57,442 I'm sorry, Deeds. 1051 01:04:59,869 --> 01:05:04,329 -I'm really sorry. -Don't be sorry, that was unbelievable. 1052 01:05:08,460 --> 01:05:11,995 Hi, Mrs. Finch... Atticus. 1053 01:05:13,382 --> 01:05:14,710 Sleep well. 1054 01:05:18,929 --> 01:05:21,764 -Al, I'm gonna walk home. -Okay, Deeds. 1055 01:05:31,567 --> 01:05:33,559 I love New York! 1056 01:05:33,944 --> 01:05:35,487 Nobody cares! 1057 01:05:43,120 --> 01:05:44,698 I'm in love with him. 1058 01:05:45,956 --> 01:05:49,041 I'm going to see him tonight and tell him everything. 1059 01:05:50,961 --> 01:05:54,247 -He'll probably punch you in the face. -I kind of hope he does. 1060 01:05:54,340 --> 01:05:56,665 Come on, Babe, snap out of it. 1061 01:05:56,759 --> 01:06:00,210 You really want to throw all this away for a dipshit like that? 1062 01:06:00,304 --> 01:06:04,882 He's not a dipshit. He's a good-hearted guy who we think is a weirdo... 1063 01:06:04,975 --> 01:06:08,807 ...because he doesn't share our sense of ironic detachment. 1064 01:06:09,229 --> 01:06:13,062 -All this hip, snide, smart-alecky... -Bullshit? 1065 01:06:13,150 --> 01:06:14,609 Yes, bullshit. 1066 01:06:15,235 --> 01:06:19,530 Well, in a few moments, I'll put on my Versace overcoat... 1067 01:06:19,615 --> 01:06:23,315 ...get into my Mercedes, drive to my Fifth Avenue apartment... 1068 01:06:23,410 --> 01:06:26,660 ...and squeeze my girlfriend's big, fake boobs. 1069 01:06:27,331 --> 01:06:31,163 And that bullshit you're talking about paid for all of it. 1070 01:06:31,835 --> 01:06:34,920 Good for you, Mac. But I'm still telling him. 1071 01:06:35,339 --> 01:06:36,370 Well... 1072 01:06:38,134 --> 01:06:40,007 Babe Bennett falls in love. 1073 01:06:41,470 --> 01:06:43,961 I'm happy for you. I am. 1074 01:06:45,266 --> 01:06:46,843 Gonna miss you, Babe. 1075 01:06:47,685 --> 01:06:49,095 Something fierce. 1076 01:07:18,382 --> 01:07:20,209 You think she'll like this? 1077 01:07:20,718 --> 01:07:21,832 All right. 1078 01:07:21,969 --> 01:07:25,219 Chicken parmesan? Terrific, thank you. 1079 01:07:25,973 --> 01:07:27,218 Let's hear it. 1080 01:07:30,519 --> 01:07:33,141 -She gonna like that, Mr. Deeds. -Okay. 1081 01:07:33,981 --> 01:07:36,389 -Emilio, it looks beautiful. -Thank you. 1082 01:07:40,112 --> 01:07:43,446 These roses might be a little too high. I won't be able to see her. 1083 01:07:43,532 --> 01:07:45,655 -Do we have anything smaller? -Yes, sir. 1084 01:07:45,743 --> 01:07:46,739 Okay. 1085 01:07:47,661 --> 01:07:48,657 Byron? 1086 01:07:49,413 --> 01:07:50,788 That's terrific. 1087 01:07:51,248 --> 01:07:54,083 -Would you mind sitting for a second? -Yes, sir. 1088 01:07:56,420 --> 01:07:58,626 Say something to me. Pretend you're her. 1089 01:07:58,714 --> 01:08:00,753 -Me, sir? -Please. 1090 01:08:01,759 --> 01:08:02,754 Well... 1091 01:08:03,969 --> 01:08:07,801 ...it's nice of you to have invited me to dine with you this evening. 1092 01:08:07,890 --> 01:08:09,384 It's my pleasure. 1093 01:08:09,516 --> 01:08:12,352 Actually, you're too tall. Can you slink down? 1094 01:08:14,188 --> 01:08:15,848 -Like this? -That's good. 1095 01:08:16,607 --> 01:08:20,106 This is one of the best dates I've ever been on. 1096 01:08:21,111 --> 01:08:23,104 You make me feel very special. 1097 01:08:23,989 --> 01:08:26,196 You make me feel very special, too. 1098 01:08:26,867 --> 01:08:28,860 That's why I got this for you. 1099 01:08:29,704 --> 01:08:31,197 Okay, lean forward. 1100 01:08:36,126 --> 01:08:39,293 -I really like you a lot. -I like you, too. 1101 01:08:39,588 --> 01:08:43,289 -I can't stop thinking about you. -I can't stop thinking about you. 1102 01:08:43,384 --> 01:08:45,376 Please let me touch your feet. 1103 01:08:45,928 --> 01:08:48,845 Okay, this is getting weird. You can stand up now. 1104 01:08:52,017 --> 01:08:53,975 -Deeds! -Fellows! 1105 01:08:54,478 --> 01:08:57,313 We wanted to come and wish you the best on your big night. 1106 01:08:57,397 --> 01:09:01,478 Thanks a lot. I'm so nervous. I never asked anybody to marry me before. 1107 01:09:01,652 --> 01:09:04,190 It's 7:30, time for Inside Access. 1108 01:09:04,280 --> 01:09:07,067 We're not in for any more nasty surprises, are we? 1109 01:09:07,158 --> 01:09:10,906 I don't think so. I haven't done anything stupid all day. I've been here. 1110 01:09:10,995 --> 01:09:15,123 Let's see what lame show they put on when they don't have Deeds to pick on. 1111 01:09:15,207 --> 01:09:16,618 Excuse me! 1112 01:09:17,584 --> 01:09:21,167 -Could you put on Channel 8, please? -You got it. 1113 01:09:23,716 --> 01:09:26,385 Welcome to Inside Access. I'm Mac McGrath. 1114 01:09:27,136 --> 01:09:31,003 All of us here at I.A. take pride in our ability to handle... 1115 01:09:31,098 --> 01:09:33,671 ...every story with sensitivity and empathy... 1116 01:09:33,768 --> 01:09:34,514 Okay, pal. 1117 01:09:34,602 --> 01:09:37,472 ...while maintaining an appropriate journalistic distance. 1118 01:09:37,563 --> 01:09:42,106 But what happens when a reporter becomes part of what she's reporting? 1119 01:09:42,192 --> 01:09:46,060 What happens when a journalist falls in love with an idiot? 1120 01:09:47,281 --> 01:09:49,320 That's Longfellow Deeds with Pam Dawson. 1121 01:09:49,617 --> 01:09:52,534 -I can't believe they involved her in this. -A school nurse... 1122 01:09:52,620 --> 01:09:56,238 ...who recently moved to New York City from Winchestertonfieldville, lowa. 1123 01:09:56,332 --> 01:10:00,199 But wait. Doesn't Pam Dawson bear a striking resemblance to... 1124 01:10:00,460 --> 01:10:03,711 ...Babe Bennett, a producer here at Inside Access? 1125 01:10:04,048 --> 01:10:06,717 In fact, the two are one and the same. 1126 01:10:06,800 --> 01:10:10,584 We'll wire your apartment with state-of-the-art surveillance video. 1127 01:10:11,097 --> 01:10:12,377 Sounds good. 1128 01:10:13,391 --> 01:10:14,386 Deeds. 1129 01:10:21,398 --> 01:10:24,399 I came here to try to explain. 1130 01:10:53,681 --> 01:10:55,922 I'm the biggest sucker in the world. 1131 01:10:56,767 --> 01:10:58,427 This town can be brutal. 1132 01:10:58,978 --> 01:11:00,520 I don't belong here. 1133 01:11:00,646 --> 01:11:03,600 I can't run the company, I can't even run my own life. 1134 01:11:03,691 --> 01:11:06,264 Sure you can. The good news is the papers are ready. 1135 01:11:06,360 --> 01:11:09,942 Once you sign them, we'll get our stock and you'll get your $40 billion. 1136 01:11:10,030 --> 01:11:13,115 I don't want that money. Just give it to a charity. 1137 01:11:13,200 --> 01:11:16,949 -What's a good charity? -The United Negro College Fund? 1138 01:11:17,288 --> 01:11:19,197 Okay, give it to those guys. 1139 01:11:24,670 --> 01:11:28,584 Can we give you a ride to the airport? The company chopper will take you home. 1140 01:11:28,674 --> 01:11:31,379 Thanks, anyway. I'll be all right on my own. 1141 01:11:32,219 --> 01:11:35,054 -Nice meeting you all. -Nice meeting you, Deeds. 1142 01:11:38,684 --> 01:11:39,763 Goodbye! 1143 01:11:41,645 --> 01:11:42,676 Goodbye. 1144 01:12:27,566 --> 01:12:28,846 It's not right. 1145 01:12:29,401 --> 01:12:30,682 It's not right. 1146 01:12:57,846 --> 01:12:59,922 You must be Jan. My name is... 1147 01:13:00,015 --> 01:13:03,219 I know who you are. Wham-bam Dawson. 1148 01:13:04,353 --> 01:13:06,393 A.k.a. Little Miss Slut-Slut. 1149 01:13:07,690 --> 01:13:09,766 Okay, I deserve that. 1150 01:13:09,858 --> 01:13:12,101 Do you have any idea how much you hurt him? 1151 01:13:12,194 --> 01:13:14,401 You're not getting anywhere near that boy. 1152 01:13:14,488 --> 01:13:18,356 I have to find him and there's nothing you can do to stop me. 1153 01:13:19,952 --> 01:13:24,164 -There's a lot I can do to stop you. -He needs to know how bad I feel. 1154 01:13:24,707 --> 01:13:27,198 And that I would go to the end of the earth... 1155 01:13:27,292 --> 01:13:31,160 ...I would do anything to take back what I did to him. 1156 01:13:31,255 --> 01:13:35,003 I'm sorry, all I heard was, "Blah, blah, I'm a dirty tramp." 1157 01:13:36,677 --> 01:13:38,884 Tell you what. You get by me... 1158 01:13:40,973 --> 01:13:42,930 ...l'll tell you where he is. 1159 01:13:49,022 --> 01:13:50,351 Feeling crazy! 1160 01:13:53,110 --> 01:13:54,438 Come to Mama. 1161 01:14:00,868 --> 01:14:05,495 I was a rodeo clown for six years. You'll have to step it up a notch, shorty. 1162 01:14:05,581 --> 01:14:07,123 You mean like this? 1163 01:14:11,545 --> 01:14:14,795 Where were you kicking? I ain't got no balls, dummy! 1164 01:14:15,632 --> 01:14:16,628 Get up! 1165 01:14:17,760 --> 01:14:19,836 -Put me down! -You got it! 1166 01:14:24,267 --> 01:14:27,766 -Just tell me where Deeds is. -Bring your bony ass over here. 1167 01:14:28,770 --> 01:14:32,471 I want to cut you into eight slices of bitch-eroni. 1168 01:14:46,539 --> 01:14:47,997 Are you all right? 1169 01:14:48,916 --> 01:14:51,205 Good kick, honey. Good kick. 1170 01:14:55,047 --> 01:14:56,245 Crazy Eyes! 1171 01:15:03,806 --> 01:15:05,514 -All right. -Here you go. 1172 01:15:06,141 --> 01:15:08,549 Peanut butter and gumballs. Nice combo. 1173 01:15:08,644 --> 01:15:11,811 Don't worry about what happened. Time heals all things. 1174 01:15:12,940 --> 01:15:14,648 Except these crazy eyes. 1175 01:15:15,150 --> 01:15:17,642 It's good to be home. I know that much. 1176 01:15:18,070 --> 01:15:22,233 I wasn't talking to you, Deeds. I was talking to that squirrel over there. 1177 01:15:24,201 --> 01:15:26,573 Although it's a shame about that Cedar fellow... 1178 01:15:26,662 --> 01:15:30,161 ...tearing apart your uncle's company and firing all those nice people. 1179 01:15:30,249 --> 01:15:31,280 Where'd you hear that? 1180 01:15:31,375 --> 01:15:33,948 I watch the stock market channel all the time. 1181 01:15:34,044 --> 01:15:38,125 I watch because I suspect that anchorman of being an evil leprechaun. 1182 01:15:38,215 --> 01:15:40,676 He can bullshit everybody else, but he ain't fooling me. 1183 01:15:40,676 --> 01:15:41,423 He can bullshit everybody else, but he ain't fooling me. 1184 01:15:45,431 --> 01:15:46,759 There it is. 1185 01:15:56,275 --> 01:15:57,270 Someone! 1186 01:15:57,693 --> 01:15:58,772 Help! 1187 01:16:04,575 --> 01:16:06,449 Deeds! Help! 1188 01:16:07,995 --> 01:16:10,118 Deeds! Help! 1189 01:16:10,206 --> 01:16:11,914 Oh, God! Deeds! 1190 01:16:23,135 --> 01:16:24,463 Oh, my God! 1191 01:16:33,604 --> 01:16:36,142 Where do you got the camera hidden, in the woods? 1192 01:16:36,232 --> 01:16:37,394 No camera. 1193 01:16:37,483 --> 01:16:39,974 I'm so cold. Please! 1194 01:16:40,235 --> 01:16:42,359 You gonna get mugged in there, too? 1195 01:16:42,446 --> 01:16:43,644 I'm so... 1196 01:16:44,656 --> 01:16:45,736 ...sorry. 1197 01:16:45,824 --> 01:16:48,825 I really love you. 1198 01:16:49,870 --> 01:16:51,199 Bullshit! 1199 01:17:16,897 --> 01:17:18,060 I'm coming! 1200 01:17:20,526 --> 01:17:23,195 Go down! Go down! 1201 01:17:23,278 --> 01:17:25,187 Here comes the black foot. 1202 01:17:27,199 --> 01:17:28,195 No! 1203 01:17:31,912 --> 01:17:34,201 I know it's gross, but grab it. 1204 01:17:38,794 --> 01:17:40,917 I got you. I got you. 1205 01:17:41,088 --> 01:17:45,797 -Oh, God, your foot is disgusting! -I know, I know. Come here. 1206 01:17:46,427 --> 01:17:49,048 Come on, you okay? You okay? 1207 01:17:49,597 --> 01:17:50,841 I think so. 1208 01:17:54,518 --> 01:17:57,602 You didn't really fall out of an apple tree, did you? 1209 01:17:59,356 --> 01:18:00,352 No. 1210 01:18:02,985 --> 01:18:04,609 But I really love you. 1211 01:18:06,613 --> 01:18:08,736 I don't even know who you are. 1212 01:18:09,825 --> 01:18:11,105 I'm sorry. 1213 01:18:37,687 --> 01:18:39,513 I am so sorry. 1214 01:18:47,530 --> 01:18:51,942 A company in tatters. Preston Blake's great legacy gone to the highest bidder. 1215 01:18:52,034 --> 01:18:55,984 The shocking announcement from Chuck Cedar today confirmed that Blake Media... 1216 01:18:56,080 --> 01:18:58,950 ...will be stripped down and sold off piece by piece. 1217 01:18:59,041 --> 01:19:02,457 The only man who could stand up to Mr. Cedar and save the company... 1218 01:19:02,544 --> 01:19:07,087 ...Longfellow Deeds, has apparently given up his voting rights and left the city. 1219 01:19:07,591 --> 01:19:10,260 The sale's expected to pass with unanimous consent... 1220 01:19:10,344 --> 01:19:14,556 ...at the annual stockholders' meeting here in New York tomorrow afternoon. 1221 01:19:14,724 --> 01:19:18,306 Sources indicate that virtually all of Blake's 50, 000 employees... 1222 01:19:18,394 --> 01:19:20,850 ...are likely to lose their jobs. 1223 01:19:20,938 --> 01:19:23,263 Wait a minute. I'm a Blake employee. 1224 01:19:23,732 --> 01:19:26,520 Holy shit! This sucks. 1225 01:19:27,611 --> 01:19:31,395 Ladies and gentlemen, the bottom line is that this divestiture... 1226 01:19:31,490 --> 01:19:36,484 ...will result in every shareholder, all of you and myself included... 1227 01:19:36,912 --> 01:19:39,866 ...getting a substantial premium for our shares. 1228 01:19:41,708 --> 01:19:45,327 But before we vote, the company bylaws require me to open the floor... 1229 01:19:45,421 --> 01:19:49,501 ...to shareholders for statements either for or against this buyout plan. 1230 01:19:49,592 --> 01:19:51,917 Does anyone wish to make a statement? 1231 01:19:52,178 --> 01:19:55,760 Dismantling this company would be an insult to a great man. 1232 01:19:56,599 --> 01:19:57,844 You scared me. 1233 01:19:58,100 --> 01:20:02,264 It is an unspeakable outrage and it cannot be allowed to happen. 1234 01:20:06,108 --> 01:20:08,266 Excuse me. I got a statement. 1235 01:20:11,072 --> 01:20:12,614 Longfellow Deeds. 1236 01:20:12,698 --> 01:20:15,616 Unfortunately, since you sold me your 300 million shares... 1237 01:20:15,701 --> 01:20:19,201 -...you've no right to speak at this meeting. -Unfortunately for you... 1238 01:20:19,288 --> 01:20:22,040 ...I bought one share of Blake Media this morning. 1239 01:20:22,124 --> 01:20:25,160 You told me every stockholder has a say in this company. 1240 01:20:25,252 --> 01:20:26,794 Even the little guy. 1241 01:20:29,131 --> 01:20:33,544 You have two minutes, but remember, I control 49 percent of this company. 1242 01:20:33,635 --> 01:20:36,720 You're gonna have to persuade just about everyone else... 1243 01:20:36,805 --> 01:20:38,549 ...to start hating money. 1244 01:20:46,106 --> 01:20:48,313 Hello, everybody. I'm Deeds. 1245 01:20:49,192 --> 01:20:52,312 For a little while, I was a big part of this company. 1246 01:20:52,905 --> 01:20:55,146 I was wicked rich and powerful. 1247 01:20:55,949 --> 01:20:58,654 Now being rich and powerful isn't a bad thing. 1248 01:20:59,829 --> 01:21:04,075 It looks like the Monopoly guy over there is pretty darned psyched about it. 1249 01:21:04,791 --> 01:21:07,793 But the problem is what can happen when you decide... 1250 01:21:07,878 --> 01:21:12,255 ...that you would do absolutely anything to become rich and powerful. 1251 01:21:12,341 --> 01:21:15,176 I don't know who licked the red off your lollipop today... 1252 01:21:15,260 --> 01:21:17,834 ...but you are preaching to the wrong choir. 1253 01:21:17,930 --> 01:21:20,088 All I'm saying is, when you were kids... 1254 01:21:20,182 --> 01:21:23,551 ...did you dream about becoming a savvy investor one day... 1255 01:21:23,644 --> 01:21:26,847 ...who would think with his wallet instead of his heart? 1256 01:21:27,690 --> 01:21:29,517 Come on, I know I didn't. 1257 01:21:30,025 --> 01:21:31,769 I wanted to be a fireman. 1258 01:21:32,569 --> 01:21:36,270 I wanted to be the guy everybody called on if they were in trouble. 1259 01:21:36,365 --> 01:21:37,943 I wanted to help people... 1260 01:21:38,034 --> 01:21:41,616 ...and yeah, I wanted to slide down those wicked awesome poles. 1261 01:21:42,538 --> 01:21:45,954 But money, that was the last thing I thought about. 1262 01:21:46,917 --> 01:21:50,001 What about you, sir? Did you want to be a fireman? 1263 01:21:50,087 --> 01:21:51,416 No, I did not. 1264 01:21:52,965 --> 01:21:55,207 Truth be told, I wanted to be a veterinarian. 1265 01:21:55,301 --> 01:21:57,756 Cool. Why would you want to do that? 1266 01:21:58,637 --> 01:22:01,757 -I wanted to help sick animals. -And what do you do now? 1267 01:22:01,849 --> 01:22:04,007 I own a chain of slaughterhouses. 1268 01:22:04,268 --> 01:22:07,435 You kind of went the other way on that one, didn't you? 1269 01:22:08,230 --> 01:22:09,096 Okay. 1270 01:22:09,189 --> 01:22:11,763 In the back. Come on. Tell me what you wanted to be. 1271 01:22:11,859 --> 01:22:14,065 I wanted to be a magician. 1272 01:22:15,696 --> 01:22:19,741 -And what do you do now? -I operate a pornographic website. 1273 01:22:20,451 --> 01:22:24,531 That makes people happy also, I guess. But kind of in a grosser way. 1274 01:22:25,831 --> 01:22:28,156 -Who else? -I wanted to be a senator. 1275 01:22:28,667 --> 01:22:32,535 -I wanted to be a florist. -lnternational House Pancake. 1276 01:22:33,046 --> 01:22:34,707 I wanted to be a man. 1277 01:22:36,884 --> 01:22:38,710 That explains a lot. 1278 01:22:39,303 --> 01:22:41,544 I wanted to be a Ping-Pong champion. 1279 01:22:44,391 --> 01:22:47,511 But you're not those things you wanted to be, are you? 1280 01:22:47,728 --> 01:22:51,512 Everybody made a compromise, then another compromise, and now... 1281 01:22:51,607 --> 01:22:56,518 ...you're about to put 50, 000 people out of work to make a quick buck? Come on. 1282 01:22:56,821 --> 01:23:00,355 I bet if we ran into the 6th-grade versions of ourselves right now... 1283 01:23:00,449 --> 01:23:03,485 ...they would kick our asses and put Bubble Yum in our hair... 1284 01:23:03,577 --> 01:23:05,949 ...for even thinking about doing this. 1285 01:23:07,915 --> 01:23:10,666 He's right. I would've beat my greedy ass red. 1286 01:23:10,751 --> 01:23:13,076 I would've thrown myself off the merry-go-round. 1287 01:23:13,170 --> 01:23:17,631 I would've tied myself naked to a chair and burned myself with lit cigarettes. 1288 01:23:19,093 --> 01:23:22,010 Did anyone here dream of becoming a psychiatrist? 1289 01:23:22,137 --> 01:23:23,596 Just kidding, pal. 1290 01:23:24,306 --> 01:23:27,093 There's still hope for the kids inside of all of us. 1291 01:23:27,184 --> 01:23:29,722 Please don't break up my uncle's company. 1292 01:23:32,022 --> 01:23:33,849 I always wanted to do that. 1293 01:23:44,493 --> 01:23:45,489 Well... 1294 01:23:46,579 --> 01:23:48,080 ...that was very touching, Deeds. 1295 01:23:48,080 --> 01:23:48,744 ...that was very touching, Deeds. 1296 01:23:49,540 --> 01:23:52,291 It appears this divestiture has been defeated. 1297 01:23:52,459 --> 01:23:54,535 Unless I'm forgetting something. 1298 01:23:55,796 --> 01:23:57,374 My 300 million votes... 1299 01:23:57,464 --> 01:24:01,378 ...plus the 5 million votes I control as proxy for the foreign investors. 1300 01:24:01,469 --> 01:24:04,006 So which way should I vote my 51 percent? 1301 01:24:05,389 --> 01:24:06,634 I vote aye. 1302 01:24:07,058 --> 01:24:09,264 305 million times. 1303 01:24:10,561 --> 01:24:14,310 The ayes have it. And Blake Media is no more. 1304 01:24:14,398 --> 01:24:16,189 Not so fast, Chuck. 1305 01:24:17,610 --> 01:24:20,895 Too bad for you, when I was a kid, I wanted to be a good reporter. 1306 01:24:20,988 --> 01:24:23,740 Miss Bennett, I wasn't aware you were a stockholder. 1307 01:24:23,824 --> 01:24:25,947 There's a couple things you're not aware of. 1308 01:24:26,034 --> 01:24:28,572 How to tweeze your eyebrows, for instance. 1309 01:24:29,080 --> 01:24:33,623 Also, when Deeds gave away his fortune, he gave away something that wasn't his. 1310 01:24:35,043 --> 01:24:39,504 -What are you talking about? -I have here the diary of Preston Blake. 1311 01:24:42,384 --> 01:24:43,795 I stole it and read it. 1312 01:24:43,886 --> 01:24:47,468 Please don't be mad at me. I did it for good reasons, I promise. 1313 01:24:47,556 --> 01:24:50,723 I would like to read a passage from Mr. Blake's diary... 1314 01:24:50,810 --> 01:24:53,348 ...dated April 12, 1957. 1315 01:24:54,354 --> 01:24:56,644 "I am a volcano of lust. 1316 01:24:56,774 --> 01:25:00,522 "I've gotten this far in business by following my heart. 1317 01:25:01,028 --> 01:25:02,937 "And I must follow it now... 1318 01:25:03,364 --> 01:25:04,692 "...in love. 1319 01:25:06,408 --> 01:25:09,860 "If she just gives me a sign, an opening." 1320 01:25:10,246 --> 01:25:13,531 Want me to wipe the leaves on your ficus tree, Mr. Blake? 1321 01:25:14,708 --> 01:25:16,452 You can call me Preston. 1322 01:25:18,504 --> 01:25:22,204 Want me to wipe the leaves on your ficus tree, Preston? 1323 01:25:23,884 --> 01:25:24,880 Yes. 1324 01:25:27,054 --> 01:25:28,050 Yes. 1325 01:25:28,931 --> 01:25:29,927 Yes! 1326 01:25:31,142 --> 01:25:33,050 Who was this mystery woman? 1327 01:25:33,269 --> 01:25:37,895 I have here the Blake Media ledger sign-in book from April, 1957. 1328 01:25:38,565 --> 01:25:43,643 On the night of the 12th, there was only one woman working on Blake's floor. 1329 01:25:44,071 --> 01:25:48,567 Sadly, nine months later, she died, giving birth to a son. 1330 01:25:49,118 --> 01:25:50,612 A son born... 1331 01:25:50,911 --> 01:25:53,829 ...January 23, 1958. 1332 01:25:54,582 --> 01:25:56,124 That is my birthday. 1333 01:25:56,250 --> 01:25:58,408 To Miss Consuela Lopez. 1334 01:25:59,002 --> 01:26:00,414 That is my mother. 1335 01:26:00,587 --> 01:26:03,423 And the rightful heir to $40 billion! 1336 01:26:03,841 --> 01:26:05,335 That is my money? 1337 01:26:05,551 --> 01:26:08,006 A simple DNA test will show... 1338 01:26:08,137 --> 01:26:12,217 ...that Emilio Lopez is the majority stockholder to Blake Media. 1339 01:26:12,433 --> 01:26:14,591 -lt is my money! -That's your money! 1340 01:26:14,769 --> 01:26:16,263 That is my money! 1341 01:26:17,896 --> 01:26:19,355 Way to go, Emilio! 1342 01:26:19,565 --> 01:26:21,937 I will do good things for everyone. 1343 01:26:22,317 --> 01:26:24,560 Free flamenco lessons for all. 1344 01:26:24,653 --> 01:26:26,729 People, people! Please! 1345 01:26:26,906 --> 01:26:30,405 -That is my money. -Don't be misled. These are all lies. 1346 01:26:30,701 --> 01:26:31,981 Mr. Cedar... 1347 01:26:32,786 --> 01:26:34,197 ...you are fired. 1348 01:26:34,413 --> 01:26:36,156 You can't fire me! 1349 01:26:36,749 --> 01:26:38,208 I'm in control! 1350 01:26:38,583 --> 01:26:40,162 Get your hands off me! I'm Chuck Cedar! 1351 01:26:40,752 --> 01:26:42,496 At the lake, when you saved my life... 1352 01:26:42,588 --> 01:26:45,458 ...which I never got a chance to properly thank you for... 1353 01:26:45,549 --> 01:26:48,041 -You're welcome. -You said you didn't know who I was. 1354 01:26:48,135 --> 01:26:50,708 And it made me realize I don't know who I am. 1355 01:26:50,805 --> 01:26:54,090 So I started working on it and here's what I got so far. 1356 01:26:54,600 --> 01:26:58,051 My name is Babe Bennett. I grew up in Syossett, Long Island. 1357 01:26:58,187 --> 01:27:02,231 I have brown eyes and I don't know what my natural hair colour is anymore. 1358 01:27:02,608 --> 01:27:05,728 When I was in 5th grade, I got a crush on Walter Cronkite. 1359 01:27:05,819 --> 01:27:09,438 I really did have that Holly Hobby notebook I was telling you about. 1360 01:27:09,532 --> 01:27:13,612 I love Bruce Springsteen, Almond Roca and Abbott and Costello movies. 1361 01:27:13,828 --> 01:27:16,034 I don't like liquorice or my ankles. 1362 01:27:16,455 --> 01:27:19,622 More importantly, I know that I messed up real bad. 1363 01:27:19,791 --> 01:27:22,792 And I'd be willing to spend the rest of my life... 1364 01:27:22,878 --> 01:27:25,250 ...begging you to give me another chance... 1365 01:27:25,339 --> 01:27:28,043 ...because I am so deeply in love with you... 1366 01:27:28,759 --> 01:27:32,175 ...and I know it's definitely that forever kind of love... 1367 01:27:32,262 --> 01:27:33,591 You're crazy. 1368 01:27:36,016 --> 01:27:37,808 You have beautiful ankles. 1369 01:27:48,070 --> 01:27:49,529 Let's go home. 1370 01:27:51,990 --> 01:27:54,742 You're fired! You! You! 1371 01:27:55,036 --> 01:27:57,526 Oh, you, sir. You are definitely fired. 1372 01:27:58,164 --> 01:28:03,205 I'd like to stay. I think I can really do some good if I just got another chance. 1373 01:28:06,922 --> 01:28:10,967 Not fired. But tomorrow morning, you let me change your socks. 1374 01:28:12,595 --> 01:28:13,590 Okay. 1375 01:28:14,889 --> 01:28:18,008 And you, Long-Long-Longfellow... 1376 01:28:18,267 --> 01:28:21,552 ...you are the one who made all this possible... 1377 01:28:21,645 --> 01:28:24,812 ...with your beautiful words and your beautiful spirit. 1378 01:28:24,982 --> 01:28:27,769 And Miss Bennett, with her beautiful research. 1379 01:28:28,319 --> 01:28:29,861 How can I thank you? 1380 01:28:30,154 --> 01:28:33,439 All I want is your friendship, Emilio. You're a good man. 1381 01:28:34,575 --> 01:28:35,773 I'll miss you. 1382 01:28:37,077 --> 01:28:38,073 Deeds! 1383 01:28:39,496 --> 01:28:42,332 -How about $1 billion? -All right. 1384 01:28:42,875 --> 01:28:43,788 Done. 1385 01:28:56,638 --> 01:28:57,718 Holy Jeez! 1386 01:28:58,516 --> 01:28:59,974 I can't believe it! 1387 01:29:00,559 --> 01:29:03,015 -What's that? -A letter from Hallmark. 1388 01:29:03,104 --> 01:29:05,595 They're actually going to buy one of my cards. 1389 01:29:05,689 --> 01:29:09,770 -My gosh! Which one? -The one I wrote for you, remember it? 1390 01:29:10,319 --> 01:29:11,729 Do I remember? 1391 01:29:12,404 --> 01:29:15,240 "Hard to breathe, feels like floating 1392 01:29:15,741 --> 01:29:18,362 "So full of love my heart's exploding 1393 01:29:18,619 --> 01:29:21,655 "Mouth is dry, hands are shaking 1394 01:29:22,081 --> 01:29:24,370 "My heart is yours for the taking 1395 01:29:24,833 --> 01:29:27,123 "Acting weird, not myself 1396 01:29:27,586 --> 01:29:30,208 "Dancing around like the Keebler elf 1397 01:29:30,505 --> 01:29:33,590 "Finally time for this poor schlub 1398 01:29:35,010 --> 01:29:38,177 "To know how it feels to fall in lub" 1399 01:29:38,764 --> 01:29:40,306 I'm so proud of you! 1400 01:29:46,146 --> 01:29:48,898 Can you believe Deeds bought us all these? 1401 01:29:53,487 --> 01:29:55,396 Damn, these things are fast! 1402 01:29:59,701 --> 01:30:00,982 I'm okay! 1403 01:30:02,037 --> 01:30:03,117 I'm okay!