1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 2 00:02:27,816 --> 00:02:29,235 Mother... shittin'... 3 00:02:29,318 --> 00:02:30,736 son of a... 4 00:02:30,819 --> 00:02:32,738 Ass! 5 00:02:32,821 --> 00:02:34,198 I just... 6 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:41,539 I was told... 7 00:02:41,622 --> 00:02:43,207 Have you seen... I was told that if... 8 00:02:43,291 --> 00:02:46,211 I was late again I would be summarily dismissed. 9 00:03:35,887 --> 00:03:37,597 No, no. 10 00:03:54,072 --> 00:03:55,532 Just a moment. 11 00:03:56,867 --> 00:03:59,369 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 12 00:03:59,453 --> 00:04:00,746 Just a moment. 13 00:04:01,997 --> 00:04:04,333 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 14 00:04:04,416 --> 00:04:05,834 Just a moment. 15 00:04:07,836 --> 00:04:10,172 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 16 00:04:10,255 --> 00:04:11,590 Just a moment. 17 00:04:12,633 --> 00:04:14,676 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 18 00:04:15,552 --> 00:04:17,013 Just a moment. 19 00:04:17,096 --> 00:04:19,098 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 20 00:04:19,933 --> 00:04:22,227 Hello, Peter. What's happening? 21 00:04:22,310 --> 00:04:25,438 Ahh... we have sort of a problem here. 22 00:04:25,522 --> 00:04:27,941 Yeah. You apparently didn't put... 23 00:04:28,024 --> 00:04:30,360 one of the new cover sheets on your T.P.S. reports. 24 00:04:30,443 --> 00:04:34,280 Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about that. I... I forgot. 25 00:04:34,364 --> 00:04:36,199 Mmm... yeah. 26 00:04:36,282 --> 00:04:37,742 You see, we're putting the cover sheets... 27 00:04:37,825 --> 00:04:40,703 on all T.P.S. reports now before they go out. 28 00:04:40,787 --> 00:04:43,540 Did you see the memo about this? 29 00:04:43,623 --> 00:04:46,877 Yeah. Yeah, I have the memo right here. 30 00:04:46,961 --> 00:04:48,379 I just, uh, forgot... 31 00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:50,840 but, uh, it's not shipping out till tomorrow... 32 00:04:50,923 --> 00:04:52,341 so there's no problem. 33 00:04:52,424 --> 00:04:54,176 Yeah. 34 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,636 If you could just go ahead and make sure... 35 00:04:55,719 --> 00:04:58,889 you do that from now on, that would be great... 36 00:04:58,973 --> 00:05:00,891 and, uh, I'll go ahead and make sure... 37 00:05:00,975 --> 00:05:03,102 you get another copy of that memo, OK? 38 00:05:03,185 --> 00:05:06,188 No. I have the memo. I've got it... lt's right... 39 00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:08,858 Hello, Phil. What's happening? 40 00:05:08,941 --> 00:05:10,025 Um... 41 00:05:10,109 --> 00:05:13,153 I came by here yesterday... 42 00:05:13,237 --> 00:05:16,073 Four teams out on the Spanish point... 43 00:05:16,156 --> 00:05:18,326 discovered a shipwreck off the coast... 44 00:05:18,410 --> 00:05:19,578 Milton? 45 00:05:20,495 --> 00:05:21,746 Hi. Uh... 46 00:05:21,830 --> 00:05:23,832 could you turn that down just a little bit? 47 00:05:23,915 --> 00:05:26,126 But I was told that I could listen... 48 00:05:26,209 --> 00:05:28,837 to the radio at a reasonable volume from 9:00 to 11:00. 49 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,423 Yeah. I know you're allowed to. 50 00:05:31,506 --> 00:05:34,885 I was just thinkin' maybe like a personal favour. 51 00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:38,597 Well, I... I... I told Bill if Sandra's going to... 52 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:42,100 listen to her headphones while she's filing... 53 00:05:42,184 --> 00:05:43,768 then I should be able to listen to the radio... 54 00:05:43,852 --> 00:05:45,270 while I'm collating... 55 00:05:45,353 --> 00:05:47,355 so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio. 56 00:05:47,439 --> 00:05:48,524 Yeah. All right. OK. 57 00:05:48,608 --> 00:05:50,735 I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume... 58 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:51,903 Thanks. 59 00:05:51,986 --> 00:05:53,321 From 9:00 to 11:00. 60 00:05:53,404 --> 00:05:54,822 Hi, Peter. 61 00:05:54,906 --> 00:05:56,866 What's happening? 62 00:05:56,949 --> 00:05:59,452 We need to talk about your T.P.S. reports. 63 00:05:59,535 --> 00:06:01,871 Yeah. The cover sheet. I know. I know. 64 00:06:01,954 --> 00:06:03,039 Bill talked to me about it. 65 00:06:03,122 --> 00:06:05,666 Yeah. Did you get that memo? 66 00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:08,002 Yeah, I got the memo, and I understand the policy... 67 00:06:08,085 --> 00:06:10,671 and the problem is just that I forgot the one time... 68 00:06:10,755 --> 00:06:12,590 and I've already taken care of it... 69 00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:14,383 so it's not even really a problem anymore. 70 00:06:14,467 --> 00:06:17,261 Ah! Yeah. 71 00:06:17,345 --> 00:06:18,846 It's just we're putting new cover sheets... 72 00:06:18,930 --> 00:06:21,350 on all the T.P.S. reports before they go out now... 73 00:06:21,433 --> 00:06:23,810 so if you could go ahead and try to remember... 74 00:06:23,894 --> 00:06:26,480 to do that from now on, that'd be great. 75 00:06:26,563 --> 00:06:27,731 All right! 76 00:06:32,486 --> 00:06:34,321 Just a moment. 77 00:06:35,739 --> 00:06:38,200 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 78 00:06:38,283 --> 00:06:39,493 Peter Gibbons. 79 00:06:40,577 --> 00:06:41,662 Yes. 80 00:06:41,745 --> 00:06:43,622 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 81 00:06:43,705 --> 00:06:44,790 Just a moment. 82 00:06:44,873 --> 00:06:46,291 I have the memo. 83 00:06:48,210 --> 00:06:50,128 No. Not again. I... 84 00:06:50,212 --> 00:06:52,507 Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? 85 00:06:52,590 --> 00:06:54,551 I swear to God, one of these days... 86 00:06:54,634 --> 00:06:57,679 I just kick this piece of shit out the window. 87 00:06:57,762 --> 00:06:59,681 You and me both, man. 88 00:06:59,764 --> 00:07:00,974 That thing is lucky I'm not armed. 89 00:07:03,393 --> 00:07:04,435 Piece of shit. 90 00:07:04,519 --> 00:07:06,396 "Samir... 91 00:07:07,272 --> 00:07:08,982 "Na-Na... 92 00:07:09,065 --> 00:07:10,817 "Na-Naga..." 93 00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:12,652 No. Thanks. 94 00:07:12,735 --> 00:07:13,987 Please. 95 00:07:14,070 --> 00:07:17,156 "Michael... Bolton"? 96 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:18,408 That's me. 97 00:07:18,491 --> 00:07:20,577 Wow! Is that your real name? 98 00:07:20,660 --> 00:07:22,079 Yeah. Ahem. 99 00:07:22,705 --> 00:07:24,915 So are you related to that singer guy? 100 00:07:24,999 --> 00:07:26,792 No. It's just a coincidence. 101 00:07:29,879 --> 00:07:32,756 No one in this country can pronounce my name right. 102 00:07:33,549 --> 00:07:34,967 It's not that hard. 103 00:07:35,050 --> 00:07:37,178 "Na-ee" and then "anajaad." Nayanajaad. 104 00:07:37,261 --> 00:07:39,263 At least your name isn't Michael Bolton. 105 00:07:40,431 --> 00:07:42,141 You know, there's nothing wrong with that name. 106 00:07:42,224 --> 00:07:44,143 There was nothing wrong with it... 107 00:07:44,226 --> 00:07:45,895 until I was about twelve years old... 108 00:07:45,978 --> 00:07:48,189 and that no-talent ass clown became famous... 109 00:07:48,272 --> 00:07:49,398 and started winning Grammys. 110 00:07:50,649 --> 00:07:54,654 Well, why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael? 111 00:07:54,738 --> 00:07:56,907 Why should I change? He's the one who sucks. 112 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:58,325 Hey, guys. 113 00:07:58,408 --> 00:07:59,993 What's up, G? 114 00:08:00,076 --> 00:08:01,995 Wanna go to Chotchkie's, get some coffee? 115 00:08:02,078 --> 00:08:03,580 Oh, it's a little early. 116 00:08:03,663 --> 00:08:06,041 I gotta get outta here. I think I'm gonna lose it. 117 00:08:07,292 --> 00:08:10,128 Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. 118 00:08:15,008 --> 00:08:17,177 Boy, I tell ya, some days. 119 00:08:17,260 --> 00:08:19,262 One of these days, it's just gonna be like... 120 00:08:22,140 --> 00:08:23,267 Heh heh heh! 121 00:08:23,351 --> 00:08:25,269 So, can I get you gentlemen something more to drink... 122 00:08:25,353 --> 00:08:26,437 or maybe something to nibble on... 123 00:08:26,521 --> 00:08:29,023 some pizza shooters, shrimp poppers, or extreme fajitas? 124 00:08:29,774 --> 00:08:31,067 - Just coffee. - OK! 125 00:08:31,150 --> 00:08:32,985 Sounds like a case of the Mondays. 126 00:08:37,907 --> 00:08:41,827 What if we're still doin' this when we're fifty? 127 00:08:41,911 --> 00:08:44,580 It would be nice to have that kind of job security. 128 00:08:45,414 --> 00:08:46,832 Lumbergh's gonna have me work on Saturday. 129 00:08:46,916 --> 00:08:48,834 I can tell already. 130 00:08:48,918 --> 00:08:51,003 I'm gonna end up doin' it, because, uh... 131 00:08:51,087 --> 00:08:52,880 because I'm a big pussy... 132 00:08:52,964 --> 00:08:55,008 which is why I work at Initech to begin with. 133 00:08:55,092 --> 00:08:56,718 Uh, yeah, well, I work at Initech... 134 00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:58,846 and I don't consider myself a pussy, OK? 135 00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:01,265 Yes. I am also not a pussy. 136 00:09:01,348 --> 00:09:03,475 They're gonna find out the hard way I'm not a pussy... 137 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,185 if they don't start treating their software people better. 138 00:09:05,269 --> 00:09:06,812 That's right. 139 00:09:06,895 --> 00:09:08,480 They don't understand. 140 00:09:08,564 --> 00:09:10,649 I could program a virus that'd rip that place off big time. 141 00:09:10,732 --> 00:09:12,276 Yeah. 142 00:09:12,359 --> 00:09:13,527 Big time. 143 00:09:16,572 --> 00:09:17,739 There she is. 144 00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:21,410 Peter, you know, you always talk about this girl. 145 00:09:22,244 --> 00:09:24,496 If you're so obsessed with her, why don't you just ask her out? 146 00:09:24,580 --> 00:09:25,748 Oh, I can't do that. 147 00:09:26,708 --> 00:09:28,001 I'm just another asshole customer. 148 00:09:28,084 --> 00:09:30,628 You can't just walk up to a waitress and ask her out. 149 00:09:30,712 --> 00:09:32,755 Besides, I'm still trying to work it out with Anne. 150 00:09:33,590 --> 00:09:36,509 Oh, that reminds me. I can't play poker on Friday. 151 00:09:36,593 --> 00:09:37,927 Why not? 152 00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:42,015 I'm gonna see this occupational hypnotherapist with Anne. 153 00:09:42,098 --> 00:09:44,434 Dude, an occupational hypnotherapist? 154 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,895 I know. Anne wants me to go. 155 00:09:46,978 --> 00:09:48,271 She thinks it might help. 156 00:09:49,105 --> 00:09:50,940 Um... 157 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:53,401 You know, sometimes I think that... 158 00:09:53,484 --> 00:09:55,988 I get thinking that she's cheating on me. 159 00:09:56,071 --> 00:09:57,489 Yeah. I know what you mean. 160 00:09:57,573 --> 00:09:59,074 Yeah. 161 00:10:00,284 --> 00:10:01,452 What is that supposed to mean? 162 00:10:02,786 --> 00:10:03,954 Nothing. 163 00:10:04,997 --> 00:10:07,166 Why don't you just tell Anne that you're not into hypnosis... 164 00:10:07,249 --> 00:10:08,334 and you wanna play poker with us? 165 00:10:08,417 --> 00:10:10,002 I can't do that. She'll get all pissed off... 166 00:10:10,085 --> 00:10:14,423 and, besides, I think the guy might actually be able to help. 167 00:10:14,506 --> 00:10:16,091 I mean, he did help Anne lose weight. 168 00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:18,344 Peter, she's anorexic. 169 00:10:18,427 --> 00:10:20,179 Yeah, I know. 170 00:10:20,262 --> 00:10:21,597 The guy's really good. 171 00:10:22,765 --> 00:10:25,267 Yeah, well, I don't think any occupational hypnotherapist... 172 00:10:25,351 --> 00:10:27,020 is gonna help you solve any of your problems. 173 00:10:27,103 --> 00:10:28,855 Hey, and speaking of problems... 174 00:10:28,939 --> 00:10:30,398 what's this I hear about you having problems... 175 00:10:30,482 --> 00:10:31,691 with your T.P.S. reports? 176 00:10:31,775 --> 00:10:34,152 Yeah. Didn't you get that memo? 177 00:10:36,571 --> 00:10:38,365 Hey! Hey, guys! Peter! 178 00:10:38,448 --> 00:10:40,075 Is that Smykowski? 179 00:10:40,909 --> 00:10:42,077 - Samir! - What's he doing? 180 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,828 Oh, probably workin' on another heart attack. 181 00:10:43,912 --> 00:10:45,664 I've been lookin' all over for you guys! 182 00:10:45,747 --> 00:10:48,500 Have you seen this? I knew it. I knew it. 183 00:10:48,583 --> 00:10:50,210 What? It's a staff meeting. So what? 184 00:10:50,293 --> 00:10:52,837 So what? We're all screwed. That's what. 185 00:10:52,921 --> 00:10:54,548 They're gonna downsize Initech. 186 00:10:54,631 --> 00:10:56,841 What are you talking about? How do you know that? 187 00:10:56,925 --> 00:10:59,178 How do I know? They're bringing in a consultant. 188 00:10:59,262 --> 00:11:00,346 That's how I know. 189 00:11:00,429 --> 00:11:02,139 That's what this staff meeting's all about. 190 00:11:02,223 --> 00:11:04,016 It happened at Initrode last year. 191 00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:05,852 You have to interview with this consultant. 192 00:11:05,935 --> 00:11:07,687 They call them efficiency experts... 193 00:11:07,770 --> 00:11:08,896 but what you're really doing... 194 00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:10,356 is interviewing for your own job. 195 00:11:10,439 --> 00:11:11,732 Every week you say you're gonna lose your job... 196 00:11:11,816 --> 00:11:12,984 and you're still here. 197 00:11:13,067 --> 00:11:15,444 Not this time. I bet I'm the first one laid off. 198 00:11:15,528 --> 00:11:17,655 The thought of having to go to the state unemployment office... 199 00:11:17,738 --> 00:11:19,782 and stand in line with those scumbags... 200 00:11:19,866 --> 00:11:21,242 Shit. 201 00:11:22,577 --> 00:11:24,245 You know there are people in this world... 202 00:11:24,328 --> 00:11:26,747 that don't have to put up with all this shit? 203 00:11:26,831 --> 00:11:29,001 Like that guy that invented the pet rock. 204 00:11:29,835 --> 00:11:32,254 You see, that's what you have to do. 205 00:11:33,088 --> 00:11:35,173 You have to use your mind... 206 00:11:35,257 --> 00:11:37,342 and come up with some really great idea like that... 207 00:11:37,426 --> 00:11:39,720 and you can make millions... never have to work again. 208 00:11:39,803 --> 00:11:41,930 You think the pet rock was a really great idea? 209 00:11:42,014 --> 00:11:43,849 Sure it was. 210 00:11:43,932 --> 00:11:46,059 The guy made a million dollars. 211 00:11:48,645 --> 00:11:51,398 You know, I had an idea like that once... 212 00:11:51,481 --> 00:11:52,941 a long time ago. 213 00:11:54,109 --> 00:11:55,569 Really? What was it, Tom? 214 00:11:56,278 --> 00:11:58,155 Well, all right. 215 00:11:58,238 --> 00:12:02,243 It was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat. 216 00:12:03,828 --> 00:12:06,122 You see, it would be this mat... 217 00:12:06,206 --> 00:12:08,374 that you would put on the floor... 218 00:12:08,458 --> 00:12:12,670 and it would have different conclusions written on it... 219 00:12:12,754 --> 00:12:15,048 that you could jump to. 220 00:12:20,094 --> 00:12:22,347 That is the worst idea I've ever heard in my life, Tom. 221 00:12:22,430 --> 00:12:26,142 Yes. Yes, it's horrible, this idea. 222 00:12:28,603 --> 00:12:30,189 Uh, look... 223 00:12:30,272 --> 00:12:31,607 I gotta get outta here. 224 00:12:32,441 --> 00:12:33,442 I'll see you guys later... 225 00:12:33,526 --> 00:12:35,444 if I still have a job. 226 00:12:36,278 --> 00:12:37,363 Yeah. 227 00:12:37,446 --> 00:12:39,240 Our high school guidance counsellor... 228 00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:41,659 used to ask us what you would do if you had a million dollars... 229 00:12:41,742 --> 00:12:42,826 didn't have to work... 230 00:12:42,910 --> 00:12:46,121 and whatever you'd say was supposed to be your career. 231 00:12:46,205 --> 00:12:47,665 So if you wanted to fix old cars... 232 00:12:47,748 --> 00:12:49,500 then you're supposed to be an auto mechanic. 233 00:12:49,583 --> 00:12:50,668 So what did you say? 234 00:12:50,751 --> 00:12:52,628 I never had an answer. 235 00:12:53,587 --> 00:12:55,339 I guess that's why I'm working at Initech. 236 00:12:55,422 --> 00:12:56,882 No. You're working at Initech... 237 00:12:56,966 --> 00:12:59,051 'cause that question is bullshit to begin with. 238 00:12:59,134 --> 00:13:00,761 If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors... 239 00:13:00,845 --> 00:13:03,181 because no one would clean shit if they had a million dollars. 240 00:13:03,265 --> 00:13:05,642 You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? 241 00:13:05,725 --> 00:13:08,854 I would invest half of it in glorious mutual funds... 242 00:13:08,937 --> 00:13:11,356 and then take the other half to my friend Asadulah... 243 00:13:11,439 --> 00:13:12,524 who works in securities... 244 00:13:12,607 --> 00:13:14,734 Samir. Samir, you're missing the point. 245 00:13:14,818 --> 00:13:16,403 The point of the exercise is you're supposed to figure out... 246 00:13:16,486 --> 00:13:18,947 what you would want to do if... 247 00:13:20,073 --> 00:13:22,951 "PC load letter"? What the fuck does that mean? 248 00:13:45,099 --> 00:13:47,894 Hey, Peter, man! Check out channel nine! 249 00:13:47,977 --> 00:13:49,187 Check out this chick! 250 00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:51,689 Damn it! Lawrence, can't you just pretend... 251 00:13:51,772 --> 00:13:53,733 like we can't hear each other through the wall? 252 00:13:53,816 --> 00:13:56,068 Oh, sorry, man! Anne over there or somethin'? 253 00:13:56,152 --> 00:13:57,320 No, but... 254 00:13:58,279 --> 00:14:00,865 If you want to talk to me, just come over. 255 00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:07,289 Hey, man, check this out, dude. 256 00:14:09,625 --> 00:14:12,127 ANNOUNCER: The key is early detection. 257 00:14:12,211 --> 00:14:13,295 Tumours that are detected... 258 00:14:13,378 --> 00:14:15,339 Aw, jeez, Lawrence. 259 00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:17,174 Sorry, man. I thought you'd want to see this. 260 00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:19,676 Doesn't that chick look like Anne? 261 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,345 Yeah. 262 00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:22,638 A little bit. I... 263 00:14:22,721 --> 00:14:24,514 Hey, she hasn't been over here in a while. 264 00:14:24,598 --> 00:14:25,974 You two still goin' out? 265 00:14:26,058 --> 00:14:27,684 Yeah. 266 00:14:27,768 --> 00:14:29,269 I guess. I... I don't know. 267 00:14:29,353 --> 00:14:31,647 Sometimes I get the feeling like she's cheating on me. 268 00:14:31,730 --> 00:14:33,900 Yeah. I get that feeling, too, man. 269 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:36,819 What do you mean by that? 270 00:14:36,903 --> 00:14:38,446 I don't know, man. 271 00:14:39,239 --> 00:14:41,491 I just get that feeling lookin' at her, like... 272 00:14:41,574 --> 00:14:43,910 she's the type of chick that just... 273 00:14:44,911 --> 00:14:46,079 Uhh. 274 00:14:48,998 --> 00:14:51,167 Oh, I'm sorry, man. Look, I... I... 275 00:14:51,251 --> 00:14:53,294 You know, I'm talkin' outta my ass. 276 00:14:53,378 --> 00:14:54,712 Forget it. Don't worry. It's all right. 277 00:14:54,796 --> 00:14:56,506 Just... I had a rough day. 278 00:14:56,589 --> 00:14:58,216 Tell me about it, man. 279 00:15:00,843 --> 00:15:02,595 Ooh, I gotta wake my ass up... 280 00:15:02,679 --> 00:15:05,683 at six a.m. Every day this week... 281 00:15:05,766 --> 00:15:07,893 drag up to Las Golindas. 282 00:15:07,977 --> 00:15:10,771 I'm doin' the drywall up there at the new McDonald's. 283 00:15:11,397 --> 00:15:12,565 Let me ask you something. 284 00:15:13,899 --> 00:15:16,151 When you come in on Monday, and you're not feelin' real well... 285 00:15:16,235 --> 00:15:17,361 does anyone ever say to you... 286 00:15:17,444 --> 00:15:19,947 "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays"? 287 00:15:21,574 --> 00:15:22,741 No. 288 00:15:23,576 --> 00:15:24,994 No, man. 289 00:15:26,287 --> 00:15:27,663 Shit, no, man. 290 00:15:27,746 --> 00:15:30,332 You'd get your ass kicked, sayin' something like that, man. 291 00:15:30,416 --> 00:15:32,001 Huh. 292 00:15:32,084 --> 00:15:33,502 We still goin' fishin' this weekend? 293 00:15:33,586 --> 00:15:35,672 Ah, Lumbergh's gonna have me come in on Saturday. 294 00:15:35,755 --> 00:15:36,840 I just know it. 295 00:15:36,923 --> 00:15:38,341 Well, you can get out of that easily. 296 00:15:38,425 --> 00:15:40,468 Yeah? How? 297 00:15:40,552 --> 00:15:41,720 Well... 298 00:15:42,429 --> 00:15:44,180 when a boss wants you to work on Saturday... 299 00:15:44,264 --> 00:15:47,225 he generally asks you at the end of the day, right? 300 00:15:47,309 --> 00:15:48,393 Yeah. 301 00:15:48,476 --> 00:15:50,478 So all you gotta do is avoid him... that's all right... 302 00:15:50,562 --> 00:15:52,772 I got it... on the last few hours on Friday... 303 00:15:52,856 --> 00:15:54,691 duck out early... 304 00:15:54,774 --> 00:15:56,359 turn off your answering machine... 305 00:15:56,443 --> 00:15:58,111 you should be home free, man. 306 00:16:00,572 --> 00:16:02,240 That's a really good idea. 307 00:16:03,116 --> 00:16:04,284 Fuckin' "A," man. 308 00:16:05,076 --> 00:16:09,874 Lawrence, what would you do if you had a million dollars? 309 00:16:09,957 --> 00:16:11,876 I'll tell you what I'd do, man. 310 00:16:13,044 --> 00:16:15,213 Two chicks at the same time, man. 311 00:16:19,634 --> 00:16:21,135 That's it? 312 00:16:21,219 --> 00:16:22,386 If you had a million dollars... 313 00:16:22,470 --> 00:16:24,513 you'd do two chicks at the same time? 314 00:16:24,597 --> 00:16:27,350 Damn straight. I've always wanted to do that, man. 315 00:16:27,433 --> 00:16:30,186 I think if I were a millionaire, I could hook that up, too... 316 00:16:30,269 --> 00:16:32,021 'cause chicks dig dudes with money. 317 00:16:32,104 --> 00:16:33,481 Well, not all chicks. 318 00:16:33,564 --> 00:16:36,317 The type of chicks that would double up on a dude like me do. 319 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:37,528 Good point. 320 00:16:37,611 --> 00:16:39,530 What about you, now? What would you do? 321 00:16:39,613 --> 00:16:40,989 Besides two chicks at the same time? 322 00:16:41,073 --> 00:16:42,241 Well, yeah. 323 00:16:42,324 --> 00:16:43,867 Nothing. 324 00:16:44,868 --> 00:16:45,953 Nothin', huh? 325 00:16:46,036 --> 00:16:48,205 I would relax. 326 00:16:48,288 --> 00:16:50,457 I would sit on my ass all day. 327 00:16:52,125 --> 00:16:53,710 I would do nothing. 328 00:16:53,794 --> 00:16:56,380 You don't need a million dollars to do nothin', man. 329 00:16:56,463 --> 00:16:57,923 Take a look at my cousin. 330 00:16:58,006 --> 00:17:00,092 He's broke, don't do shit. 331 00:17:03,428 --> 00:17:05,889 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 332 00:17:05,973 --> 00:17:07,391 Just a moment. 333 00:17:07,474 --> 00:17:09,894 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 334 00:17:09,978 --> 00:17:11,854 Just a moment. 335 00:17:11,938 --> 00:17:14,190 Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. 336 00:17:14,274 --> 00:17:15,859 Just a moment. 337 00:17:16,776 --> 00:17:18,528 So, you should ask yourself... 338 00:17:18,611 --> 00:17:21,155 with every decision you make... 339 00:17:21,239 --> 00:17:23,366 "Is this good for the company? 340 00:17:23,449 --> 00:17:25,076 "Am I helping with..." 341 00:17:25,159 --> 00:17:26,661 Is that the guy? 342 00:17:26,744 --> 00:17:28,872 Yeah. We're screwed. 343 00:17:28,955 --> 00:17:31,583 OK, then, um... 344 00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:35,086 I'd like to go ahead and welcome, uh... 345 00:17:35,169 --> 00:17:37,505 a new member to our team here. 346 00:17:37,589 --> 00:17:38,924 This is, uh... 347 00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:41,510 Bob Slydell. 348 00:17:43,137 --> 00:17:45,055 Yeah. Uh... 349 00:17:45,139 --> 00:17:47,558 Bob is a consultant. 350 00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:51,228 Yeah. He's gonna be sort of, uh... 351 00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:53,856 helping us out... 352 00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:55,357 a little here... 353 00:17:55,441 --> 00:17:56,859 asking some questions... 354 00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:58,402 maybe seeing if there are some ways... 355 00:17:58,485 --> 00:18:01,197 we can make things run a little more smoothly... 356 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,448 around here. 357 00:18:03,532 --> 00:18:05,284 Yeah. 358 00:18:05,367 --> 00:18:07,661 Oh, and remember, next Friday... 359 00:18:07,745 --> 00:18:10,081 is Hawaiian shirt day. 360 00:18:11,917 --> 00:18:15,670 So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and, uh... 361 00:18:15,754 --> 00:18:17,339 wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans. 362 00:18:18,548 --> 00:18:21,218 And I said I don't care if they lay me off, either. 363 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:22,510 Because I told Bill... 364 00:18:22,594 --> 00:18:25,013 that if they move my desk one more time... 365 00:18:25,096 --> 00:18:27,849 then I'm... I'm quitting. I'm going to quit... 366 00:18:27,933 --> 00:18:29,392 and I told Dom, too... 367 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:32,687 because they've moved my desk four times already this year... 368 00:18:32,771 --> 00:18:34,940 and I used to be over by the window... 369 00:18:35,023 --> 00:18:38,235 and I could see the squirrels, and they were married... 370 00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,530 but then they switched from the Swingline... 371 00:18:40,613 --> 00:18:43,032 to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler... 372 00:18:43,115 --> 00:18:45,034 because it didn't bind up as much... 373 00:18:45,117 --> 00:18:47,662 and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler. 374 00:18:47,745 --> 00:18:48,829 OK, Milton. 375 00:18:48,913 --> 00:18:50,998 No, it's not OK, because if they make me... 376 00:18:51,082 --> 00:18:54,502 If they take my stapler, then I'll... I'll... I'll... 377 00:18:54,585 --> 00:18:56,837 I'll set the building on fire. 378 00:18:56,921 --> 00:18:59,173 OK, well, that sounds great. 379 00:18:59,257 --> 00:19:01,008 Uh, I'll talk to you later, all right? Bye. 380 00:19:01,092 --> 00:19:02,260 Peter... 381 00:19:18,235 --> 00:19:19,444 Good-bye. 382 00:19:41,884 --> 00:19:43,261 Come on. 383 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,390 Oh, for cryin'... 384 00:20:09,162 --> 00:20:11,623 Hello, Peter. What's happening? 385 00:20:11,706 --> 00:20:13,334 Um... 386 00:20:13,417 --> 00:20:15,336 I'm gonna need you... 387 00:20:15,419 --> 00:20:17,254 to go ahead and come in tomorrow... 388 00:20:17,338 --> 00:20:21,467 so if you could be here around... 389 00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:24,011 nine, that would be great. 390 00:20:24,094 --> 00:20:25,304 OK? 391 00:20:27,056 --> 00:20:29,016 Oh, oh, and I almost forgot. 392 00:20:29,099 --> 00:20:30,851 Um... 393 00:20:30,935 --> 00:20:33,687 I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in... 394 00:20:33,771 --> 00:20:36,315 on Sunday, too, OK? 395 00:20:36,398 --> 00:20:38,025 We, um... 396 00:20:38,108 --> 00:20:39,860 lost some people this week... 397 00:20:39,944 --> 00:20:42,029 and, uh... 398 00:20:42,112 --> 00:20:44,115 we need to sort of play catch-up. 399 00:20:44,199 --> 00:20:45,450 Thanks. 400 00:20:49,454 --> 00:20:50,997 So I was sitting in my cubicle today... 401 00:20:51,081 --> 00:20:55,085 and I realised, ever since I started working, um... 402 00:20:56,378 --> 00:20:58,838 every single day of my life has been worse than... 403 00:20:58,922 --> 00:21:00,632 the day before it. 404 00:21:01,591 --> 00:21:05,303 So that means that every single day that you see me... 405 00:21:06,263 --> 00:21:08,139 that's on the worst day of my life. 406 00:21:08,890 --> 00:21:10,350 What about today? 407 00:21:10,433 --> 00:21:11,685 Is today the worst day of your life? 408 00:21:11,768 --> 00:21:14,396 - Yeah. - Wow. That's messed up. 409 00:21:17,275 --> 00:21:18,776 I'm sorry. 410 00:21:18,859 --> 00:21:20,069 Go on. 411 00:21:20,152 --> 00:21:23,698 Is there any way that you could sort of... 412 00:21:23,781 --> 00:21:26,534 just zonk me out so that, like, I don't know... 413 00:21:26,617 --> 00:21:29,036 that I'm at work... in here? 414 00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:30,538 Could I come home... 415 00:21:30,621 --> 00:21:34,041 and think that I've been fishing all day or something? 416 00:21:34,125 --> 00:21:36,836 That's... really not what I do, Peter. 417 00:21:36,919 --> 00:21:38,170 Heh. 418 00:21:38,254 --> 00:21:39,422 However... 419 00:21:40,423 --> 00:21:42,967 the good news is, I think I can help you. 420 00:21:43,926 --> 00:21:46,096 I want you to do something for me, Peter. 421 00:21:47,764 --> 00:21:49,975 I want you to try and relax. 422 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,523 I want you to relax every muscle in your body... 423 00:21:56,607 --> 00:22:00,944 beginning with your toes to your fingertips. 424 00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:05,866 Now I want you to relax your legs. 425 00:22:07,242 --> 00:22:09,870 You're beginning to feel your eyelids getting heavy... 426 00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:13,207 as you slip deeper and deeper... 427 00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:16,543 into a state of complete relaxation. 428 00:22:16,628 --> 00:22:20,798 All your cares and concerns are disappearing. 429 00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:22,383 Deeper and deeper. 430 00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:24,385 Way down. 431 00:22:24,469 --> 00:22:26,679 Your concern about your job... 432 00:22:27,472 --> 00:22:29,682 melts away... 433 00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:31,684 way... 434 00:22:31,768 --> 00:22:33,186 way down. 435 00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:34,604 Unh. 436 00:22:37,232 --> 00:22:39,108 Now, when I count backwards from three... 437 00:22:39,817 --> 00:22:42,570 you'll be in a state of complete relaxation. 438 00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:45,615 Your worries, cares, and inhibitions will be gone... 439 00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:48,327 and you will remain in that state... 440 00:22:49,537 --> 00:22:51,830 until I snap my fingers. 441 00:22:51,914 --> 00:22:53,374 Three. 442 00:22:53,457 --> 00:22:55,125 Deeper and deeper. 443 00:22:55,209 --> 00:22:56,835 Way... 444 00:22:56,919 --> 00:22:58,379 way down. 445 00:22:58,462 --> 00:23:00,464 Two. 446 00:23:00,548 --> 00:23:02,550 Deeper and deeper... 447 00:23:02,633 --> 00:23:05,469 W-w-w-way down... 448 00:23:07,513 --> 00:23:09,890 Whu... whu... 449 00:23:09,974 --> 00:23:11,183 One. 450 00:23:12,351 --> 00:23:15,104 Oh, my God! Dr. Swanson! 451 00:23:16,146 --> 00:23:17,856 Ew... ew... 452 00:23:17,940 --> 00:23:19,192 - Is he breathing? - Call 911! 453 00:23:19,276 --> 00:23:23,029 Oh! Where's the phone? Where's the goddamn phone?! 454 00:23:49,097 --> 00:23:50,600 Ahh... 455 00:23:58,107 --> 00:24:00,234 Yeah, hi, it's Bill Lumbergh. 456 00:24:00,318 --> 00:24:01,527 It's about... 457 00:24:01,611 --> 00:24:03,362 ten o'clock. 458 00:24:03,446 --> 00:24:04,864 Yeah. Just, uh... 459 00:24:04,947 --> 00:24:06,324 wondering where you are. 460 00:24:08,951 --> 00:24:12,038 Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lumbergh again. 461 00:24:12,121 --> 00:24:13,039 Uh... 462 00:24:13,122 --> 00:24:14,707 I just wanted to make sure you knew... 463 00:24:14,790 --> 00:24:17,251 that we did start at the, uh... 464 00:24:17,335 --> 00:24:19,712 usual time this morning. 465 00:24:19,795 --> 00:24:23,008 Yeah. It isn't a half day or anything like that... 466 00:24:23,091 --> 00:24:25,052 so if you could just go ahead... 467 00:24:25,135 --> 00:24:27,137 and get here as soon as possible... 468 00:24:27,221 --> 00:24:29,097 that would be terrific. 469 00:24:35,562 --> 00:24:36,730 Ahh... 470 00:24:48,617 --> 00:24:50,827 Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lum... 471 00:24:50,911 --> 00:24:54,165 Yeah. It's... Yeah. Hi. It's Bill Lumber... 472 00:24:54,249 --> 00:24:56,042 Yeah. It's me again. 473 00:24:56,125 --> 00:24:58,962 Uh, I was away from my desk for a minute. 474 00:24:59,045 --> 00:25:02,215 Just checking in. 475 00:25:03,424 --> 00:25:04,509 Hello? 476 00:25:04,592 --> 00:25:06,261 Peter, what's going on? 477 00:25:07,595 --> 00:25:10,014 It's three-thirty. Why aren't you at work? 478 00:25:11,432 --> 00:25:13,017 Because I... I... 479 00:25:13,101 --> 00:25:14,519 I didn't feel like it. 480 00:25:15,270 --> 00:25:16,688 Peter, what's gotten into you? 481 00:25:16,771 --> 00:25:18,773 First, you just sit there while Dr. Swanson dies... 482 00:25:18,856 --> 00:25:21,693 then you walk out and embarrass me in front of my friends... 483 00:25:21,776 --> 00:25:23,445 and don't blame this on hypnosis, either. 484 00:25:23,529 --> 00:25:25,322 That's total bull... 485 00:25:31,370 --> 00:25:33,497 Listen, asshole. Nobody hangs up on me. 486 00:25:33,581 --> 00:25:35,040 We're through. 487 00:25:35,124 --> 00:25:37,042 Oh, and one more thing... 488 00:25:37,126 --> 00:25:39,211 I've been cheating on you! 489 00:25:44,341 --> 00:25:47,094 So, from now on, only use the new time sheets... 490 00:25:47,177 --> 00:25:51,682 if you've worked on two or more job codes in one day... 491 00:25:51,765 --> 00:25:54,728 and you need the extra columns to fit it all in. 492 00:25:54,811 --> 00:25:56,104 Otherwise, use the old time sheets... 493 00:25:56,187 --> 00:25:57,689 Where's Peter? 494 00:25:57,772 --> 00:25:59,190 I heard he didn't show up this weekend. 495 00:25:59,274 --> 00:26:00,358 Uh, I don't know. 496 00:26:00,442 --> 00:26:01,943 ...really, really help us out. 497 00:26:02,027 --> 00:26:03,528 Who's that guy? 498 00:26:03,612 --> 00:26:07,282 So, uh... any questions? 499 00:26:20,921 --> 00:26:22,339 Hi. I'm Peter. 500 00:26:22,422 --> 00:26:23,506 Hi. Can I help you? 501 00:26:23,591 --> 00:26:24,717 What are you doin' for lunch today? 502 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:28,346 Uh, well, our specials today are blackened chicken. 503 00:26:28,429 --> 00:26:30,723 It's actually right there on the board. Excuse me. 504 00:26:33,851 --> 00:26:35,186 Hey, look who's back! 505 00:26:35,269 --> 00:26:36,979 Table for three to... 506 00:26:39,815 --> 00:26:41,734 I was askin' what you were doin' for lunch. 507 00:26:41,817 --> 00:26:43,444 Would you like to have lunch with me? 508 00:26:45,029 --> 00:26:46,239 Are you... are you serious? 509 00:26:46,322 --> 00:26:47,490 Yeah. 510 00:26:48,658 --> 00:26:51,786 Yeah. I... I don't think I'm supposed to do that. 511 00:26:52,411 --> 00:26:54,790 Oh. OK, well, I'll tell you what I'll do. 512 00:26:54,873 --> 00:26:56,291 I'm gonna go next door and get a table... 513 00:26:56,375 --> 00:26:58,043 and if you'd like to join me, uh... 514 00:26:58,126 --> 00:26:59,378 no big deal, all right? 515 00:26:59,461 --> 00:27:01,338 And if not, that's cool, too. 516 00:27:01,421 --> 00:27:02,631 - OK? - OK. 517 00:27:02,714 --> 00:27:03,840 All right. 518 00:27:04,841 --> 00:27:05,926 When you say, "next door..." 519 00:27:06,009 --> 00:27:08,512 do you mean Chili's or Flinger's? 520 00:27:08,595 --> 00:27:10,222 Flinger's. 521 00:27:10,305 --> 00:27:11,473 OK. 522 00:27:12,766 --> 00:27:14,977 What you do at Initech... 523 00:27:15,060 --> 00:27:17,854 is you take the specifications from the customers... 524 00:27:17,938 --> 00:27:20,357 and you bring them down to the software engineers? 525 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,693 Yes. Y-yes. That's... that's right. 526 00:27:22,776 --> 00:27:24,403 Well, then I just have to ask... 527 00:27:24,486 --> 00:27:25,697 why couldn't the customers... 528 00:27:25,780 --> 00:27:29,325 just take them directly to the software people, huh? 529 00:27:29,409 --> 00:27:31,452 Well, I'll tell you why. 530 00:27:32,787 --> 00:27:34,372 Uh, because... 531 00:27:34,455 --> 00:27:37,709 engineers are not good at dealing with customers. 532 00:27:37,792 --> 00:27:39,460 Uh-huh. So... 533 00:27:40,461 --> 00:27:45,133 you physically take the specs from the customer? 534 00:27:46,092 --> 00:27:47,302 Well... 535 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,848 no. My secretary does that or the fax. 536 00:27:51,931 --> 00:27:53,641 Huh. 537 00:27:53,725 --> 00:27:55,435 So then you must physically bring them... 538 00:27:55,518 --> 00:27:56,562 to the software people. 539 00:27:56,645 --> 00:27:57,771 Well... 540 00:27:59,148 --> 00:28:00,232 no. 541 00:28:00,316 --> 00:28:01,567 I mean... 542 00:28:01,650 --> 00:28:03,193 sometimes. 543 00:28:03,277 --> 00:28:07,531 What... what would you say you do here? 544 00:28:08,616 --> 00:28:10,701 Well, look, I already told you. 545 00:28:10,784 --> 00:28:13,037 I deal with the goddamn customers... 546 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:14,914 so the engineers don't have to. 547 00:28:14,997 --> 00:28:17,041 I have people skills. 548 00:28:17,124 --> 00:28:19,084 I am good at dealing with people! 549 00:28:19,168 --> 00:28:20,544 Can't you understand that?! 550 00:28:20,628 --> 00:28:23,047 What the hell is wrong with you people?! 551 00:28:23,130 --> 00:28:24,340 I... 552 00:28:30,972 --> 00:28:32,057 Let's see... 553 00:28:32,140 --> 00:28:34,351 you are... 554 00:28:34,434 --> 00:28:35,727 Michael... 555 00:28:37,145 --> 00:28:39,856 - Bolton? - Yeah. 556 00:28:41,274 --> 00:28:42,442 Is that your real name? 557 00:28:43,193 --> 00:28:44,361 Yeah. 558 00:28:46,404 --> 00:28:48,448 Are you any relation to the pop singer? 559 00:28:48,531 --> 00:28:50,533 No, it's... it's just a coincidence. 560 00:28:50,617 --> 00:28:52,160 Ha ha. To be honest with you... 561 00:28:52,244 --> 00:28:53,870 I love his music. I do. 562 00:28:53,954 --> 00:28:56,081 - I'm a Michael Bolton fan. - Me, too. 563 00:28:56,164 --> 00:28:57,832 For my money, I don't know if it gets any better... 564 00:28:57,916 --> 00:29:00,378 than when he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman." 565 00:29:00,461 --> 00:29:02,380 But you must really love his music, huh? 566 00:29:05,299 --> 00:29:06,592 Yeah, he's... he's... 567 00:29:06,676 --> 00:29:08,344 he's pretty... he's pretty good, I guess. 568 00:29:08,427 --> 00:29:10,012 You're goddamn right, he is. 569 00:29:10,096 --> 00:29:12,557 Right. 570 00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,101 So tell me, what's your favourite song of his? 571 00:29:20,189 --> 00:29:22,191 I don't... I don't know. 572 00:29:22,275 --> 00:29:24,610 I mean, I guess I sort of like them all. 573 00:29:24,694 --> 00:29:27,822 That's a riot. I'm the exact same way. 574 00:29:27,905 --> 00:29:29,157 But it must be twice as hard for you... 575 00:29:29,241 --> 00:29:30,659 being you have the same name as him. 576 00:29:30,742 --> 00:29:33,620 I celebrate the guy's entire catalogue. 577 00:29:33,704 --> 00:29:36,206 Anyway, let's get down to business, Michael. 578 00:29:36,290 --> 00:29:38,458 You know, you can just call me Mike. 579 00:29:43,922 --> 00:29:45,007 Hi. 580 00:29:45,090 --> 00:29:46,383 Hey. 581 00:29:48,302 --> 00:29:51,179 I wonder if I'm allowed to, uh, wear this in here? 582 00:29:52,014 --> 00:29:53,348 I think it would be OK. 583 00:29:55,017 --> 00:29:56,101 Would you like to sit down? 584 00:29:56,184 --> 00:29:57,436 OK. 585 00:29:58,604 --> 00:29:59,772 Ahh. 586 00:30:01,274 --> 00:30:02,358 Wow! 587 00:30:02,442 --> 00:30:05,194 This place is really... nice. 588 00:30:05,278 --> 00:30:07,572 Yeah. Is it? 589 00:30:07,655 --> 00:30:09,866 Yeah, my God, compared to Chotchkie's! 590 00:30:09,949 --> 00:30:12,285 I like the uniforms better, anyways. 591 00:30:13,119 --> 00:30:14,203 I like yours. 592 00:30:18,708 --> 00:30:20,293 "We're not in Kansas anymore." 593 00:30:20,376 --> 00:30:22,420 Yeah. 594 00:30:22,503 --> 00:30:24,881 Really. 595 00:30:24,964 --> 00:30:26,382 It's on your... 596 00:30:27,717 --> 00:30:29,886 Ohh! Yeah. That's... 597 00:30:29,969 --> 00:30:31,847 That's, uh... 598 00:30:31,931 --> 00:30:34,892 That's one of my... my pieces of flair. 599 00:30:34,975 --> 00:30:36,060 What's a "piece of flair"? 600 00:30:36,143 --> 00:30:38,145 Oh, it's, uh, where, you know... 601 00:30:38,229 --> 00:30:41,774 like these suspenders and, uh, buttons, they're all sort of... 602 00:30:41,857 --> 00:30:43,901 We're actually required to wear... 603 00:30:43,984 --> 00:30:46,946 um, fifteen pieces of flair. 604 00:30:47,029 --> 00:30:49,198 It's really stupid, actually. 605 00:30:49,281 --> 00:30:50,491 Do you get to pick 'em yourself? 606 00:30:50,574 --> 00:30:52,034 Yeah, yeah, we do. 607 00:30:52,117 --> 00:30:53,244 Although I didn't actually choose these. 608 00:30:53,327 --> 00:30:57,623 I just sort of grabbed, you know, fifteen buttons. 609 00:30:57,706 --> 00:31:00,459 I don't even know what they say. I don't really care. 610 00:31:01,126 --> 00:31:02,754 I don't really like talking about my flair. 611 00:31:02,837 --> 00:31:04,214 OK. 612 00:31:04,297 --> 00:31:07,300 So, where do you, work, Peter? 613 00:31:07,384 --> 00:31:08,885 Initech. 614 00:31:08,969 --> 00:31:10,762 And... Yeah? What... what do you do there? 615 00:31:11,846 --> 00:31:13,515 I sit in a cubicle... 616 00:31:13,598 --> 00:31:16,601 and I update bank software for the 2000 switch. 617 00:31:18,019 --> 00:31:19,145 What's that? 618 00:31:19,229 --> 00:31:21,356 Well, see, they wrote all this bank software... 619 00:31:21,439 --> 00:31:23,358 and, uh, to save space... 620 00:31:23,441 --> 00:31:25,193 they used two digits for the date instead of four. 621 00:31:25,277 --> 00:31:28,196 So like 98 instead of 1998. 622 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:31,491 Uh, so I go through these thousands of lines of code... 623 00:31:31,575 --> 00:31:34,370 and, uh... It doesn't really matter. 624 00:31:34,453 --> 00:31:37,331 I, uh, I don't like my job, and, uh... 625 00:31:37,415 --> 00:31:39,709 I don't think I'm gonna go anymore. 626 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:42,211 You're just not gonna go? 627 00:31:42,295 --> 00:31:43,462 Yeah. 628 00:31:43,546 --> 00:31:44,714 Won't you get fired? 629 00:31:45,631 --> 00:31:46,841 I don't know. 630 00:31:46,924 --> 00:31:50,720 But I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go. 631 00:31:51,888 --> 00:31:52,889 So you're gonna quit? 632 00:31:52,972 --> 00:31:56,142 Nah-uh. Not really. Uh... 633 00:31:56,225 --> 00:31:57,810 I'm just gonna stop going. 634 00:32:00,104 --> 00:32:01,188 What? 635 00:32:01,272 --> 00:32:03,358 Uh, when did you decide all that? 636 00:32:03,442 --> 00:32:04,526 About an hour ago. 637 00:32:04,610 --> 00:32:06,028 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 638 00:32:06,111 --> 00:32:07,279 An hour ago. 639 00:32:08,614 --> 00:32:10,157 So you're gonna get another job? 640 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:12,367 I don't think I'd like another job. 641 00:32:12,451 --> 00:32:16,288 Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and... 642 00:32:16,371 --> 00:32:18,874 You know, I've never really liked paying bills. 643 00:32:18,957 --> 00:32:20,459 I don't think I'm gonna do that, either. 644 00:32:22,502 --> 00:32:23,629 Ahh... 645 00:32:23,712 --> 00:32:25,797 well, so what do you want to do? 646 00:32:25,881 --> 00:32:27,841 I want to take you out to dinner... 647 00:32:27,925 --> 00:32:30,219 and then I want to go back to my apartment and watch "Kung Fu." 648 00:32:30,302 --> 00:32:31,637 Do you ever watch "Kung Fu"? 649 00:32:33,764 --> 00:32:35,433 I love "Kung Fu." 650 00:32:35,516 --> 00:32:37,769 - Channel 39. - Totally. 651 00:32:37,852 --> 00:32:39,604 You should come over and watch "Kung Fu" tonight. 652 00:32:39,687 --> 00:32:41,648 - OK. - Great. 653 00:32:41,731 --> 00:32:43,858 OK. Can we order lunch first? 654 00:32:43,942 --> 00:32:45,485 - Yeah. - OK. 655 00:33:00,959 --> 00:33:03,253 Took a stapler off my desk... 656 00:33:09,843 --> 00:33:12,555 Anyway, sounds great, Bob. See you in a few. 657 00:33:15,224 --> 00:33:17,685 Hi, Milton. What's happening? 658 00:33:17,768 --> 00:33:19,353 Nothing. 659 00:33:19,436 --> 00:33:21,355 I'm going to have to ask you to go ahead... 660 00:33:21,438 --> 00:33:23,691 and move your desk again, so... 661 00:33:23,774 --> 00:33:26,527 if you could go ahead and get it as far back... 662 00:33:26,610 --> 00:33:28,445 against that wall as possible... 663 00:33:28,529 --> 00:33:29,780 that would be great. 664 00:33:29,863 --> 00:33:31,365 No, because I was... 665 00:33:31,448 --> 00:33:32,908 That way, we'll have some room... 666 00:33:32,992 --> 00:33:34,785 for some of these boxes and things... 667 00:33:34,868 --> 00:33:37,998 we need to put in here, and, uh... 668 00:33:38,081 --> 00:33:41,501 Oh. Oh, there it is. 669 00:33:41,585 --> 00:33:44,254 Here, let me just go ahead and get that from you. 670 00:33:46,423 --> 00:33:47,716 Great. 671 00:33:48,884 --> 00:33:52,137 So if you could just get to that as soon as possible... 672 00:33:52,220 --> 00:33:54,931 that would be terrific, OK? 673 00:33:55,015 --> 00:33:57,684 Thanks a bunch, Milton. Good-bye. 674 00:33:57,767 --> 00:34:00,103 OK. 675 00:34:01,104 --> 00:34:03,481 I could set the building on fire. 676 00:34:06,777 --> 00:34:08,779 - Peter. - Michael. 677 00:34:08,863 --> 00:34:09,947 What the hell's going on, man? 678 00:34:10,031 --> 00:34:11,866 I thought you'd come in here and start shooting. 679 00:34:11,949 --> 00:34:13,993 No. I just came to get my address book. 680 00:34:14,076 --> 00:34:15,202 I'm not gonna stay. 681 00:34:15,286 --> 00:34:17,580 I got a phone number, Mike, that I don't wanna lose. 682 00:34:17,663 --> 00:34:19,373 What? Peter, you're in deep shit. 683 00:34:19,457 --> 00:34:21,459 You were supposed to come in Saturday. What were you doing? 684 00:34:22,335 --> 00:34:25,171 Michael, I did nothing. 685 00:34:25,254 --> 00:34:26,714 I did absolutely nothing... 686 00:34:26,797 --> 00:34:29,717 and it was everything that I thought it could be. 687 00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:32,386 I hope you have a better story for Lumbergh. 688 00:34:32,470 --> 00:34:35,056 You're supposed to be at your interview with the consultants. 689 00:34:35,139 --> 00:34:36,265 The who? 690 00:34:36,349 --> 00:34:38,644 The consultants. What has gotten into you? 691 00:34:40,604 --> 00:34:43,899 Oh, yeah... right. 692 00:34:44,816 --> 00:34:47,653 Wait, Peter. You gotta postpone it, man. 693 00:34:47,736 --> 00:34:48,820 Tell 'em you've been sick. Make something up. 694 00:34:48,904 --> 00:34:51,031 Oh, no way. No, I feel great. 695 00:34:51,114 --> 00:34:52,950 It's the best day of my life. 696 00:34:55,202 --> 00:34:57,537 Next batter looks like a Peter Gibbons. 697 00:34:58,830 --> 00:35:01,124 Ah, there you are. We were just talking about you. 698 00:35:01,208 --> 00:35:02,834 You must be Peter Gibbons. 699 00:35:02,918 --> 00:35:04,253 Uh-huh. Terrific. 700 00:35:04,336 --> 00:35:06,713 I'm Bob Slydell. This is my associate Bob Porter. 701 00:35:06,797 --> 00:35:08,215 Oh, hi, Bob. Bob. 702 00:35:08,298 --> 00:35:10,843 Grab a seat and join us for a minute or two. 703 00:35:12,387 --> 00:35:14,097 You see, what we're actually trying to do here... 704 00:35:14,180 --> 00:35:17,100 is we're just, we're trying to get a feel... 705 00:35:17,183 --> 00:35:19,060 for how people spend their day at work. 706 00:35:19,143 --> 00:35:20,770 So if you would... 707 00:35:20,853 --> 00:35:24,440 would you walk us through a typical day for you? 708 00:35:25,608 --> 00:35:27,860 - Yeah. - Great. 709 00:35:27,944 --> 00:35:31,406 Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late. 710 00:35:31,489 --> 00:35:33,908 Uh, I use the side door. 711 00:35:33,992 --> 00:35:36,953 That way Lumbergh can't see me. 712 00:35:37,036 --> 00:35:40,958 And after that, I just sort of space out for about an hour. 713 00:35:41,041 --> 00:35:43,544 Uh, "space out"? 714 00:35:43,627 --> 00:35:44,712 Yeah. 715 00:35:44,795 --> 00:35:46,630 I just stare at my desk. 716 00:35:46,714 --> 00:35:48,173 But it looks like I'm working. 717 00:35:48,257 --> 00:35:52,052 I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. 718 00:35:52,136 --> 00:35:53,929 I'd say in a given week... 719 00:35:54,013 --> 00:35:55,848 I probably only do about fifteen minutes... 720 00:35:55,931 --> 00:35:58,809 of real, actual work. 721 00:36:00,311 --> 00:36:03,522 Peter, would you be a good sport... 722 00:36:03,606 --> 00:36:05,566 and indulge us and just... 723 00:36:05,649 --> 00:36:06,692 tell us a little more? 724 00:36:06,775 --> 00:36:08,235 Oh, yeah. 725 00:36:08,319 --> 00:36:11,990 Let me tell you something about T.P.S. reports. 726 00:36:12,073 --> 00:36:13,199 Ahh... 727 00:36:13,283 --> 00:36:16,661 The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy. 728 00:36:16,745 --> 00:36:18,705 It's that I just don't care. 729 00:36:18,788 --> 00:36:20,957 Don't... don't care? 730 00:36:21,041 --> 00:36:23,543 It's a problem of motivation, all right? 731 00:36:23,627 --> 00:36:25,211 Now, if I work my ass off... 732 00:36:25,295 --> 00:36:27,172 and Initech ships a few extra units... 733 00:36:27,255 --> 00:36:29,049 I don't see another dime. 734 00:36:29,132 --> 00:36:30,759 So where's the motivation? 735 00:36:31,509 --> 00:36:33,386 And here's something else, Bob... 736 00:36:33,470 --> 00:36:35,388 I have eight different bosses right now. 737 00:36:35,472 --> 00:36:36,556 - I beg your pardon? - Eight bosses. 738 00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:37,724 - Eight? - Eight, Bob. 739 00:36:37,807 --> 00:36:40,560 So that means that when I make a mistake... 740 00:36:40,644 --> 00:36:44,190 I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. 741 00:36:44,273 --> 00:36:47,568 That's my only real motivation, is not to be hassled. 742 00:36:47,652 --> 00:36:48,861 That and the fear of losing my job. 743 00:36:48,945 --> 00:36:50,780 But you know, Bob... 744 00:36:50,863 --> 00:36:52,531 that'll only make someone work just hard enough... 745 00:36:52,615 --> 00:36:53,783 not to get fired. 746 00:36:54,450 --> 00:36:57,370 Would you bear with me for just a second, please? 747 00:36:57,453 --> 00:36:58,788 OK. 748 00:37:00,039 --> 00:37:01,791 What if... and believe me... 749 00:37:01,874 --> 00:37:04,835 this is strictly hypothetical... 750 00:37:04,919 --> 00:37:08,923 but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option... 751 00:37:09,006 --> 00:37:10,716 equity-sharing program? 752 00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,052 Would that do anything for you? 753 00:37:12,135 --> 00:37:14,346 I don't know. I guess. Listen, I'm gonna go. 754 00:37:14,429 --> 00:37:17,391 Uh, it's been really nice talking to both of you guys. 755 00:37:17,474 --> 00:37:18,725 - Yes. - Absolutely. 756 00:37:18,809 --> 00:37:21,395 Pleasure's all on this side of the table, trust me. 757 00:37:21,478 --> 00:37:23,021 Good luck with your layoffs, all right? 758 00:37:23,105 --> 00:37:24,856 I hope your firings go really well. 759 00:37:24,940 --> 00:37:26,066 - OK. - Thanks a lot. 760 00:37:26,149 --> 00:37:27,901 Great. Wow. 761 00:37:35,534 --> 00:37:37,869 So, Peter, what's happening? 762 00:37:37,953 --> 00:37:39,329 Listen, uh... 763 00:37:46,713 --> 00:37:49,048 Joanna, would you come here a minute, please? 764 00:37:49,132 --> 00:37:51,009 Yeah. 765 00:37:51,092 --> 00:37:55,263 I'm sorry I was late, but I was having lunch, and I, uh... 766 00:37:55,346 --> 00:37:56,973 We need to talk about your flair. 767 00:37:57,849 --> 00:38:00,727 Really? I... I have fifteen pieces on. 768 00:38:00,810 --> 00:38:02,270 I also... 769 00:38:02,353 --> 00:38:05,481 Well, fifteen is the minimum, OK? 770 00:38:05,565 --> 00:38:06,649 Oh. OK. 771 00:38:06,733 --> 00:38:08,651 Now, you know, it's up to you whether or not... 772 00:38:08,735 --> 00:38:11,571 you want to just do the bare minimum or... 773 00:38:11,654 --> 00:38:12,864 Well, like Brian, for example... 774 00:38:12,947 --> 00:38:16,327 has thirty-seven pieces of flair on today. 775 00:38:16,410 --> 00:38:17,703 And a terrific smile. 776 00:38:17,786 --> 00:38:20,122 OK, so you want me to wear more? 777 00:38:21,749 --> 00:38:22,833 Look, Joanna... 778 00:38:22,917 --> 00:38:24,001 Yeah? 779 00:38:24,084 --> 00:38:25,920 People can get a cheeseburger anywhere, OK? 780 00:38:26,003 --> 00:38:29,131 They come to Chotchkie's for the atmosphere and the attitude. 781 00:38:29,924 --> 00:38:31,216 OK? That's what the flair's about. 782 00:38:31,300 --> 00:38:32,968 - It's about fun. - Yeah. 783 00:38:33,052 --> 00:38:35,221 OK, so more then, yeah? 784 00:38:36,972 --> 00:38:40,184 Look, we want you to express yourself, OK? 785 00:38:40,267 --> 00:38:44,689 Now if you feel that the bare minimum is enough, then, OK... 786 00:38:44,773 --> 00:38:47,525 but some people choose to wear more... 787 00:38:47,609 --> 00:38:49,486 and we encourage that, OK? 788 00:38:50,820 --> 00:38:52,822 You do want to express yourself, don't you? 789 00:38:53,949 --> 00:38:55,033 Y- yeah. 790 00:38:55,116 --> 00:38:57,535 OK, great, great. That's all I ask. 791 00:38:57,619 --> 00:38:59,246 OK. 792 00:39:00,372 --> 00:39:03,083 Right, so there's three more people... 793 00:39:03,166 --> 00:39:05,168 we can easily lose. 794 00:39:05,252 --> 00:39:08,463 Then there's Tom Smykowski. 795 00:39:09,381 --> 00:39:10,465 He's useless. 796 00:39:10,548 --> 00:39:12,092 Gone. 797 00:39:12,175 --> 00:39:13,760 Sounds good to me. 798 00:39:13,843 --> 00:39:16,222 Here's a peculiar... 799 00:39:16,305 --> 00:39:18,558 - Uh, Milton Waddams. - Who's he? 800 00:39:18,641 --> 00:39:20,643 You know, squirrelly looking guy. Mumbles a lot. 801 00:39:20,726 --> 00:39:21,811 Oh, yeah. 802 00:39:21,894 --> 00:39:23,563 We... we can't actually find a record... 803 00:39:23,646 --> 00:39:25,898 of him being a current employee here. 804 00:39:25,982 --> 00:39:27,775 I looked into it more deeply... 805 00:39:27,858 --> 00:39:29,777 and I found that apparently what happened... 806 00:39:29,860 --> 00:39:32,572 is that he was laid off five years ago... 807 00:39:32,655 --> 00:39:33,823 and no one ever told him about it... 808 00:39:33,906 --> 00:39:36,367 but through some kind of glitch in the payroll department... 809 00:39:36,450 --> 00:39:37,743 he still gets a paycheque. 810 00:39:37,827 --> 00:39:40,663 So we just went ahead and fixed the glitch. 811 00:39:40,746 --> 00:39:41,831 Great. 812 00:39:41,914 --> 00:39:44,584 So, uh, Milton has been let go? 813 00:39:44,667 --> 00:39:45,751 Just a second there, professor. 814 00:39:45,835 --> 00:39:49,381 We, uh, we fixed the glitch. 815 00:39:49,464 --> 00:39:51,592 So he won't be receiving a paycheque anymore. 816 00:39:51,675 --> 00:39:54,136 So it'll just work itself out naturally. 817 00:39:54,219 --> 00:39:57,264 We always like to avoid confrontation whenever possible. 818 00:39:57,347 --> 00:39:58,432 The problem is solved from your end. 819 00:39:59,683 --> 00:40:03,145 I'd like to move us right along to a Peter Gibbons. 820 00:40:03,228 --> 00:40:05,772 Now, we had a chance to meet this young man... 821 00:40:05,856 --> 00:40:08,442 and, boy, that's just a straight shooter... 822 00:40:08,525 --> 00:40:10,193 with upper management written all over him. 823 00:40:10,277 --> 00:40:12,654 Eech. Ooh. 824 00:40:12,738 --> 00:40:16,033 Yeah. Um... 825 00:40:16,116 --> 00:40:17,368 I'm going to have to go ahead... 826 00:40:17,452 --> 00:40:19,579 and sort of disagree with you there. 827 00:40:19,662 --> 00:40:22,206 Yeah, uh, he's been real flaky lately... 828 00:40:22,290 --> 00:40:26,044 and I'm just not sure that he's the calibre person... 829 00:40:26,127 --> 00:40:28,379 that we would want for upper management. 830 00:40:28,463 --> 00:40:31,132 He's also been having some problems... 831 00:40:31,215 --> 00:40:33,134 with his T.P.S. reports. 832 00:40:34,218 --> 00:40:36,095 I'll handle this. 833 00:40:36,179 --> 00:40:39,223 We feel... 834 00:40:39,307 --> 00:40:41,392 that the problem isn't with Peter. 835 00:40:43,311 --> 00:40:45,396 It's that you haven't challenged him enough... 836 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:46,564 to get him really motivated. 837 00:40:46,648 --> 00:40:47,815 There it is. 838 00:40:49,235 --> 00:40:51,695 Yeah... Ah, well... 839 00:40:51,779 --> 00:40:54,031 I'm just not sure about that right now. 840 00:40:54,114 --> 00:40:56,825 Yeah, Bill, let me ask you a real quick question here. 841 00:40:56,909 --> 00:41:00,204 How much time would you say you spend each week... 842 00:41:00,287 --> 00:41:02,289 dealing with these T.P.S. reports? 843 00:41:07,503 --> 00:41:08,671 Yeah... 844 00:42:16,115 --> 00:42:17,325 Hey, Peter, man! 845 00:42:17,408 --> 00:42:20,954 Check out channel nine. It's the breast exams. Whoo! 846 00:42:36,803 --> 00:42:38,055 Hi, Peter. 847 00:42:38,138 --> 00:42:39,890 Oh, hi, Dom. 848 00:43:28,315 --> 00:43:30,192 So... Peter... 849 00:43:30,276 --> 00:43:31,360 what's happening? 850 00:43:31,443 --> 00:43:34,738 Ahh, now, are you going to go ahead... 851 00:43:34,822 --> 00:43:38,659 and have those T.P.S. reports for us this afternoon? 852 00:43:38,742 --> 00:43:40,119 No. 853 00:43:41,370 --> 00:43:43,872 Ahh... yeah... 854 00:43:43,956 --> 00:43:45,833 So I guess we should probably go ahead... 855 00:43:45,916 --> 00:43:48,794 and have a little talk, hmm? 856 00:43:48,877 --> 00:43:51,880 Not right now, Lumbergh, I'm... I'm kinda busy. 857 00:43:51,964 --> 00:43:55,802 In fact, I'm going to have to ask you to go ahead. 858 00:43:56,678 --> 00:43:57,887 Just come back another time. 859 00:43:57,971 --> 00:44:00,390 I got a meeting with the Bobs in a couple of minutes. 860 00:44:01,474 --> 00:44:03,602 Uh, I wasn't aware of a meeting with them. 861 00:44:03,685 --> 00:44:05,895 Yeah, they called me at home. 862 00:44:10,692 --> 00:44:11,776 That sounds good, Peter. 863 00:44:11,860 --> 00:44:14,029 And, uh, we'll go ahead and... 864 00:44:14,112 --> 00:44:16,406 get this all fixed up for you. 865 00:44:16,489 --> 00:44:17,532 Great. 866 00:44:22,537 --> 00:44:25,249 Hi, Milton. What's happening? 867 00:44:26,542 --> 00:44:28,878 I... I didn't receive my paycheque this week. 868 00:44:28,961 --> 00:44:33,549 Uh, you're going to have to talk to payroll about that. 869 00:44:33,633 --> 00:44:34,884 I did and they said... 870 00:44:34,967 --> 00:44:36,761 Milt, we're gonna go ahead... 871 00:44:36,844 --> 00:44:40,556 and move you downstairs into storage "B." 872 00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:42,350 No, I... I... 873 00:44:42,433 --> 00:44:46,395 New people are coming, and we need the space. 874 00:44:46,479 --> 00:44:47,730 But there's no space... 875 00:44:47,813 --> 00:44:51,400 So if you could go ahead and pack your stuff... 876 00:44:51,484 --> 00:44:53,152 and move it down there... 877 00:44:53,236 --> 00:44:55,239 that would be terrific. 878 00:44:55,322 --> 00:44:56,615 OK? 879 00:44:56,698 --> 00:44:58,700 Uh, excuse me... 880 00:44:58,784 --> 00:45:04,373 I believe you have my stapler, please. 881 00:45:04,498 --> 00:45:06,750 You've been missing a lot of work lately. 882 00:45:06,833 --> 00:45:09,002 I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob. 883 00:45:10,420 --> 00:45:11,672 Good one. 884 00:45:11,755 --> 00:45:13,548 Oh, that's terrific, Peter. 885 00:45:13,632 --> 00:45:16,760 I'm sure you've... you've heard some of the rumours... 886 00:45:16,843 --> 00:45:18,553 circulating around the hallways... 887 00:45:18,637 --> 00:45:21,390 about how we're going to do a little "housecleaning..." 888 00:45:21,473 --> 00:45:22,724 with some software people. 889 00:45:22,808 --> 00:45:25,979 Well, Bob, I have heard that. You gotta do what you gotta do. 890 00:45:26,062 --> 00:45:28,064 We'll be getting rid of these people. 891 00:45:28,147 --> 00:45:32,944 First, Mr. Samir Naga... 892 00:45:33,027 --> 00:45:34,195 Naga... 893 00:45:34,279 --> 00:45:37,490 Naga-gonna work here anymore, anyway. 894 00:45:37,574 --> 00:45:40,952 And Mr. Mike Bolton. Nobody's gonna miss him. 895 00:45:41,035 --> 00:45:42,704 You're gonna layoff Samir and Michael? 896 00:45:42,787 --> 00:45:45,290 Yeah. We're gonna bring in some entry-level graduates. 897 00:45:45,373 --> 00:45:47,542 Farm some work out to Singapore, that's the usual deal. 898 00:45:47,625 --> 00:45:48,876 It's standard operating procedure. 899 00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:51,129 Do they know this yet? 900 00:45:51,212 --> 00:45:53,381 No. No, of course not. 901 00:45:53,464 --> 00:45:56,259 We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. 902 00:45:56,342 --> 00:45:58,554 Studies have statistically shown... 903 00:45:58,637 --> 00:46:00,306 there's less chance of an incident... 904 00:46:00,389 --> 00:46:02,057 if you do it at the end of the week. 905 00:46:02,141 --> 00:46:05,227 Peter, what we'd like to do is put you into position... 906 00:46:05,311 --> 00:46:08,981 to have as many as four people... 907 00:46:09,064 --> 00:46:10,357 working right underneath you. 908 00:46:10,441 --> 00:46:12,568 This is a big promotion, Pete. 909 00:46:12,651 --> 00:46:15,279 So you're going to fire Michael and Samir... 910 00:46:15,362 --> 00:46:17,197 and give me more money? 911 00:46:23,203 --> 00:46:26,165 Hmm. Yeah. 912 00:46:26,248 --> 00:46:29,044 That's it. That's exactly what I need. 913 00:46:29,127 --> 00:46:30,378 Give it to me. 914 00:46:30,462 --> 00:46:31,922 Come on, you little fucker, let's go. 915 00:46:32,005 --> 00:46:33,548 That's what I need. Let's do that. 916 00:46:33,632 --> 00:46:36,176 Let's do exactly that, you little fuck... 917 00:46:36,259 --> 00:46:38,053 - Michael. - Hey. 918 00:46:38,136 --> 00:46:39,512 Listen to me. 919 00:46:42,057 --> 00:46:43,642 What are you doing tonight? 920 00:46:45,185 --> 00:46:48,063 Michael, there comes a point in a man's life... 921 00:46:48,146 --> 00:46:50,649 and maybe that time for you is now... 922 00:46:51,775 --> 00:46:55,403 when it doesn't hurt to start thinking about the future. 923 00:46:55,487 --> 00:46:57,572 Uh, no offence there, Peter... 924 00:46:57,656 --> 00:46:59,408 but speak for yourself there, sport. 925 00:46:59,492 --> 00:47:02,662 I'm not the one who's been flakin' out at work. 926 00:47:02,745 --> 00:47:06,749 I know you had this religious experience or whatever... 927 00:47:06,832 --> 00:47:09,585 but get your shit together, or you're gonna get canned. 928 00:47:10,586 --> 00:47:13,089 Yeah, and, uh, and I... Listen... 929 00:47:14,131 --> 00:47:15,883 That virus you're always talking about... 930 00:47:15,967 --> 00:47:18,094 the one that could rip off the company... 931 00:47:18,177 --> 00:47:19,595 for a bunch of money. 932 00:47:19,679 --> 00:47:20,930 Yeah, what about it? 933 00:47:21,013 --> 00:47:22,682 Well, how does it work? 934 00:47:23,474 --> 00:47:24,850 It's pretty brilliant. 935 00:47:24,934 --> 00:47:27,061 What it does is every time there's a bank transaction... 936 00:47:27,144 --> 00:47:29,564 where interest is computed... there are thousands a day... 937 00:47:29,648 --> 00:47:31,608 the computer ends up with these fractions of a cent... 938 00:47:31,692 --> 00:47:33,193 which it usually rounds off. 939 00:47:33,277 --> 00:47:35,612 What this does is it takes those little remainders... 940 00:47:35,696 --> 00:47:37,614 and puts it into an account. 941 00:47:37,698 --> 00:47:40,409 - This sounds familiar. - They did it in "Superman III." 942 00:47:40,492 --> 00:47:41,618 Right, uh... 943 00:47:41,702 --> 00:47:43,412 An underrated movie, actually. 944 00:47:43,495 --> 00:47:46,790 There were hackers that did it in the seventies as well. 945 00:47:46,873 --> 00:47:49,876 - So they check for this now. - No, here's the thing. 946 00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:53,213 Initech's so backed up with all the software we're updating... 947 00:47:53,297 --> 00:47:54,423 they'd never notice. 948 00:47:54,506 --> 00:47:56,508 You're right. 949 00:47:56,592 --> 00:47:58,927 Even if they wanted to, they couldn't check all that code. 950 00:47:59,011 --> 00:48:02,015 Thumbs up their asses. Thumbs up their asses. 951 00:48:02,098 --> 00:48:06,019 So, Michael, what's to stop you from doing this? 952 00:48:06,102 --> 00:48:08,646 It's not worth the risk. I got a good job. 953 00:48:09,856 --> 00:48:12,317 What if you didn't have a good job? 954 00:48:13,776 --> 00:48:14,986 Cock gobblers! 955 00:48:18,656 --> 00:48:22,410 Samir and I are the best programmers they got. 956 00:48:22,493 --> 00:48:24,662 You haven't been showin' up, and you get to keep your job. 957 00:48:24,746 --> 00:48:26,539 Actually, I'm being promoted. 958 00:48:26,623 --> 00:48:29,250 - What?! - I know, Michael. 959 00:48:29,334 --> 00:48:31,837 It's completely unfair. 960 00:48:31,921 --> 00:48:34,381 And I realised something today. 961 00:48:34,465 --> 00:48:37,384 It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. 962 00:48:37,468 --> 00:48:39,470 It's about all of us together. 963 00:48:41,138 --> 00:48:44,475 I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist. 964 00:48:44,558 --> 00:48:47,061 Maybe it was just shock, and it's wearing off now... 965 00:48:47,144 --> 00:48:49,813 but when I saw that fat man keel over and die... 966 00:48:49,897 --> 00:48:52,858 Michael, we don't have a lot of time on this earth. 967 00:48:52,942 --> 00:48:55,861 We weren't meant to spend it this way. 968 00:48:55,945 --> 00:48:59,240 Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles... 969 00:48:59,323 --> 00:49:01,242 staring at computer screens all day... 970 00:49:01,325 --> 00:49:02,410 filling out useless forms... 971 00:49:02,494 --> 00:49:04,120 and listening to eight different bosses... 972 00:49:04,204 --> 00:49:06,623 drone on about mission statements. 973 00:49:06,706 --> 00:49:09,584 I told those fudgepackers I liked Michael Bolton's music. 974 00:49:09,668 --> 00:49:13,338 Ohh. That is not right, Michael. 975 00:49:13,421 --> 00:49:16,258 For five years now, you've worked your ass off... 976 00:49:16,341 --> 00:49:20,387 hoping for a promotion, profit sharing, or something. 977 00:49:20,470 --> 00:49:21,846 Five years... 978 00:49:21,930 --> 00:49:24,724 of your mid-twenties now gone. 979 00:49:24,808 --> 00:49:26,059 And you're gonna go in tomorrow... 980 00:49:26,142 --> 00:49:28,728 they're gonna throw you out on the street. 981 00:49:28,812 --> 00:49:30,563 You know why? 982 00:49:30,647 --> 00:49:35,069 So Bill Lumbergh's stock will go up a quarter of a point. 983 00:49:35,152 --> 00:49:36,737 Ugh. 984 00:49:36,821 --> 00:49:38,906 Michael, let's make that stock go down... 985 00:49:38,990 --> 00:49:40,950 and let's take enough money out of that place... 986 00:49:41,033 --> 00:49:44,328 so that we never have to sit in a cubicle ever again. 987 00:49:45,788 --> 00:49:47,707 Your software works, right? 988 00:49:47,790 --> 00:49:49,458 Of course it works. That's not the point. 989 00:49:50,918 --> 00:49:53,004 Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know how to install it. 990 00:49:53,087 --> 00:49:55,590 I don't know the credit union's software well enough. OK? 991 00:49:55,673 --> 00:49:58,634 Yeah. But Samir does. 992 00:49:59,468 --> 00:50:00,928 But that's not much money. 993 00:50:01,012 --> 00:50:02,221 That's the beauty of it. 994 00:50:02,305 --> 00:50:06,351 Each withdrawal, it's a fraction of a cent, too small to notice. 995 00:50:06,435 --> 00:50:08,604 But you take a few thousand withdrawals a day... 996 00:50:08,687 --> 00:50:10,105 you space it out over a couple of years... 997 00:50:10,188 --> 00:50:12,441 that's a few hundred thousand dollars. 998 00:50:12,524 --> 00:50:13,734 It's like "Superman III." 999 00:50:13,817 --> 00:50:15,861 "Superman lll"? 1000 00:50:15,944 --> 00:50:19,615 I have to leave now. I have to get my résumé ready. 1001 00:50:19,698 --> 00:50:23,869 For another job where they can fire you for no reason? 1002 00:50:23,952 --> 00:50:26,663 That's right. If I'm lucky. 1003 00:50:26,747 --> 00:50:30,876 I'm tired of being pushed around. Aren't you? 1004 00:50:30,959 --> 00:50:33,712 Yes, but I'm not going to do anything illegal. 1005 00:50:33,795 --> 00:50:36,215 Illegal? Samir, this is America. 1006 00:50:36,299 --> 00:50:38,343 Come on. Sit down. 1007 00:50:39,302 --> 00:50:41,512 Come on. This isn't Riyadh. 1008 00:50:41,596 --> 00:50:44,515 They're not going to saw your hands off here. 1009 00:50:44,599 --> 00:50:46,976 The worst they'd do is put you for a couple of months... 1010 00:50:47,060 --> 00:50:50,355 into a white-collar, minimum-security resort. 1011 00:50:50,438 --> 00:50:54,108 Shit, we should be so lucky. They have conjugal visits there. 1012 00:50:54,192 --> 00:50:55,818 - Really? - Yes. 1013 00:50:55,902 --> 00:50:57,195 Shit! 1014 00:50:57,278 --> 00:51:00,031 I'm a free man. I haven't had a conjugal visit in six months. 1015 00:51:00,114 --> 00:51:01,866 So what do you think? 1016 00:51:01,950 --> 00:51:04,452 This thing is actually pretty fail-safe, Samir. 1017 00:51:04,535 --> 00:51:05,746 Samir? 1018 00:51:07,456 --> 00:51:10,209 You came here looking for a land of opportunity. 1019 00:51:10,292 --> 00:51:13,420 And this is the knock of that opportunity. 1020 00:51:13,504 --> 00:51:15,881 Tomorrow is your last day at Initech. 1021 00:51:15,965 --> 00:51:17,466 You have two options... 1022 00:51:17,549 --> 00:51:19,927 unemployment or early retirement. 1023 00:51:20,010 --> 00:51:21,595 What's it gonna be? 1024 00:51:22,388 --> 00:51:23,973 - I have a question. - Yes? 1025 00:51:24,056 --> 00:51:27,768 In this conjugal visits, you can have sex with women? 1026 00:51:27,851 --> 00:51:30,562 Yep, you sure can. 1027 00:51:34,066 --> 00:51:35,234 OK, I'll do it. 1028 00:51:35,317 --> 00:51:38,196 That's what I'm talkin' about when I talk about America! 1029 00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:39,656 Can we discuss the plan? 1030 00:51:39,739 --> 00:51:41,408 OK, yeah, good, right. 1031 00:51:41,491 --> 00:51:42,951 It works like a computer virus. 1032 00:51:43,034 --> 00:51:45,620 All we do is load it into the credit union's mainframe. 1033 00:51:45,704 --> 00:51:46,871 It'll do the rest. 1034 00:51:46,955 --> 00:51:49,291 Get me that disk, and I'll take it from there. 1035 00:51:49,374 --> 00:51:52,210 Before we go any further, all right? 1036 00:51:52,294 --> 00:51:54,796 We have to swear to God, Allah... 1037 00:51:54,879 --> 00:51:57,382 that nobody knows about this but us, all right? 1038 00:51:57,465 --> 00:52:00,552 No family members, no girlfriends. Nobody. 1039 00:52:00,635 --> 00:52:01,845 - Of course. - Agreed. 1040 00:52:01,928 --> 00:52:04,097 Don't worry, man! I won't tell anyone, either. 1041 00:52:04,180 --> 00:52:06,391 - What the fuck is that? - Don't worry. He's cool. 1042 00:52:06,474 --> 00:52:09,854 All right. Here's how I see it all going down. 1043 00:52:09,937 --> 00:52:12,732 Peter, congratulations. This is one heck of a promotion. 1044 00:52:12,815 --> 00:52:14,025 Thank you, Bob. 1045 00:52:14,108 --> 00:52:16,402 We'll get some people under you right away. 1046 00:53:42,116 --> 00:53:43,367 That was easy. 1047 00:53:43,450 --> 00:53:45,452 Yeah, I guess it was. 1048 00:53:45,536 --> 00:53:47,121 What'd you do with the... 1049 00:53:47,288 --> 00:53:49,081 Hey, man. 1050 00:53:49,164 --> 00:53:50,833 Oh, hey, Drew. 1051 00:53:50,916 --> 00:53:52,543 You guys hear about Tom Smykowski? 1052 00:53:52,626 --> 00:53:53,711 That he got laid off? 1053 00:53:53,794 --> 00:53:55,296 No, man, check it out. 1054 00:53:55,379 --> 00:53:57,923 Last week, after he found out he was getting laid off... 1055 00:53:58,007 --> 00:54:01,385 he tries to kill himself by running the car in the garage. 1056 00:54:01,468 --> 00:54:02,595 Is he dead? 1057 00:54:02,678 --> 00:54:04,221 No, man, check it out. 1058 00:54:04,305 --> 00:54:07,433 His wife comes home early and catches him. 1059 00:54:07,516 --> 00:54:09,393 He tries to play it off like nothing happened. 1060 00:54:09,476 --> 00:54:12,397 I was having some trouble with the shifter here. 1061 00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:13,773 It's jammed. 1062 00:54:13,857 --> 00:54:16,318 I... I couldn't get it into drive. 1063 00:54:16,401 --> 00:54:19,070 - I... I... I mean, reverse. - You OK, Tom? 1064 00:54:19,154 --> 00:54:21,448 Then as he's lookin' at her... 1065 00:54:21,531 --> 00:54:23,533 he decides he wants to live. 1066 00:54:23,617 --> 00:54:25,076 Yeah, I think I'm OK. 1067 00:54:25,160 --> 00:54:26,536 Right. 1068 00:54:26,620 --> 00:54:28,788 Seems to be working now. 1069 00:54:30,582 --> 00:54:32,292 See you later, honey. 1070 00:54:32,375 --> 00:54:33,627 Love ya. 1071 00:54:35,211 --> 00:54:39,090 But as soon as he backs out of his driveway... Bam! 1072 00:54:39,174 --> 00:54:41,802 He gets slammed big-time by a drunk driver. 1073 00:54:41,886 --> 00:54:43,846 - Is he OK? - Sort of. 1074 00:54:43,930 --> 00:54:47,058 Broke both his wrists, legs, a couple of ribs, his back... 1075 00:54:47,141 --> 00:54:49,310 but he's getting a huge settlement out of this. 1076 00:54:49,393 --> 00:54:50,561 Like seven figures. 1077 00:54:50,645 --> 00:54:52,146 He's getting out of the hospital tomorrow. 1078 00:54:52,229 --> 00:54:54,148 He's throwing a big party this weekend to celebrate. 1079 00:54:54,231 --> 00:54:56,233 We're all invited. 1080 00:54:56,317 --> 00:54:58,945 I'm thinking I might take that new chick from logistics. 1081 00:54:59,028 --> 00:55:01,572 Things go well, I might be showing her my "Oh" face. 1082 00:55:04,116 --> 00:55:07,161 You know what I'm talking about. 1083 00:55:07,244 --> 00:55:09,372 Yeah. Right. 1084 00:55:09,455 --> 00:55:10,790 See you guys there. 1085 00:55:12,124 --> 00:55:15,337 Wow, our last day at Initech. 1086 00:55:16,630 --> 00:55:18,632 I can't believe they had security escort us out. 1087 00:55:18,715 --> 00:55:20,968 It's not like we're going to steal something. 1088 00:55:23,220 --> 00:55:24,346 I stole something. 1089 00:55:24,429 --> 00:55:26,431 Oh, yeah. I guess we all did. 1090 00:55:26,515 --> 00:55:29,184 No, I stole something else. 1091 00:55:30,227 --> 00:55:31,687 What did you steal? 1092 00:55:33,272 --> 00:55:35,565 Call it a going-away present. 1093 00:57:12,791 --> 00:57:14,251 Who's got my keys? 1094 00:57:14,334 --> 00:57:15,710 I'm driving. 1095 00:57:15,794 --> 00:57:17,463 Everything is gonna be OK. 1096 00:57:17,546 --> 00:57:19,382 All right? OK? 1097 00:57:19,465 --> 00:57:21,050 It's fun, and it's exciting. 1098 00:57:21,133 --> 00:57:23,678 I gotta... I gotta go. All right? 1099 00:57:23,761 --> 00:57:24,929 Joanna's coming over. 1100 00:57:25,012 --> 00:57:28,182 Don't worry. You're worrying. All right? 1101 00:57:28,266 --> 00:57:30,393 Monday morning, we're gonna check the account balance. 1102 00:57:30,476 --> 00:57:31,560 Everything will be OK. 1103 00:57:31,644 --> 00:57:33,771 Don't miss Tom's barbecue. I'll see you there. 1104 00:57:33,854 --> 00:57:35,564 All right? Good night! 1105 00:57:35,648 --> 00:57:38,317 Back up in your ass with the resurrection 1106 00:57:40,903 --> 00:57:43,030 What were you guys celebrating last night? 1107 00:57:43,114 --> 00:57:47,828 Oh, um... l'm not really at liberty to talk about it. 1108 00:57:51,039 --> 00:57:52,666 I really can't. 1109 00:57:55,377 --> 00:57:58,422 So, when the subroutine compounds the interest... 1110 00:57:58,505 --> 00:58:00,716 it uses all these extra decimal places... 1111 00:58:00,799 --> 00:58:02,676 that just get rounded off. 1112 00:58:02,759 --> 00:58:04,303 So we simplified the whole thing... 1113 00:58:04,386 --> 00:58:07,639 and we round 'em all down and drop the remainder... 1114 00:58:07,723 --> 00:58:09,725 into an account that we opened. 1115 00:58:10,851 --> 00:58:12,269 So you're stealing? 1116 00:58:13,312 --> 00:58:15,147 Uh, no. No, you don't understand. 1117 00:58:15,230 --> 00:58:18,985 It's, uh, very complicated. It's, uh... 1118 00:58:19,068 --> 00:58:22,071 It's aggregate, so I'm talking about fractions of a penny... 1119 00:58:22,155 --> 00:58:25,450 and, uh, over time, they add up to a lot. 1120 00:58:25,533 --> 00:58:29,245 Oh, OK. So you're gonna make a lot of money, right? 1121 00:58:29,329 --> 00:58:30,622 - Yeah. - Right. 1122 00:58:30,705 --> 00:58:31,789 It's not yours? 1123 00:58:31,873 --> 00:58:34,042 Uh... well, it becomes ours. 1124 00:58:34,125 --> 00:58:35,960 How is that not stealing? 1125 00:58:38,630 --> 00:58:41,841 I don't think I'm explaining this very well. 1126 00:58:41,925 --> 00:58:45,011 Um, the 7-Eleven, right? 1127 00:58:45,094 --> 00:58:47,347 You'd take a penny from the tray. 1128 00:58:47,430 --> 00:58:48,681 From the crippled children? 1129 00:58:48,766 --> 00:58:49,892 No, that's the jar. 1130 00:58:49,975 --> 00:58:53,479 I'm talking about the tray... the pennies for everybody. 1131 00:58:53,562 --> 00:58:54,897 Oh, for everybody. OK. 1132 00:58:54,980 --> 00:58:57,066 Yeah. Well, those are whole pennies. 1133 00:58:57,149 --> 00:59:01,070 I'm just talking about fractions of a penny, OK? 1134 00:59:01,153 --> 00:59:02,905 But we do it from a much bigger tray... 1135 00:59:02,988 --> 00:59:05,074 and we do it a couple of million times. 1136 00:59:05,157 --> 00:59:06,575 So what's wrong with that? 1137 00:59:06,659 --> 00:59:08,285 I don't know. It just seems wrong. 1138 00:59:08,369 --> 00:59:09,536 It's not wrong. 1139 00:59:09,620 --> 00:59:10,788 Initech is wrong. 1140 00:59:10,871 --> 00:59:13,374 Initech is an evil corporation, all right? 1141 00:59:13,457 --> 00:59:15,542 Chotchkie's is wrong. 1142 00:59:15,626 --> 00:59:17,544 Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning... 1143 00:59:17,628 --> 00:59:19,630 and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair? 1144 00:59:19,714 --> 00:59:22,092 Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start... 1145 00:59:22,175 --> 00:59:23,843 taking money from the register. 1146 00:59:23,927 --> 00:59:25,136 Well, maybe you should. 1147 00:59:26,930 --> 00:59:30,225 The Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear. 1148 00:59:30,308 --> 00:59:31,559 What? 1149 00:59:33,270 --> 00:59:34,896 Look, we don't... l'm... 1150 00:59:34,980 --> 00:59:36,606 We don't have to talk about this now. 1151 00:59:36,690 --> 00:59:40,193 Let's just go to the barbecue, all right? 1152 00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:45,949 Michael, Samir, how you doin'? 1153 00:59:46,032 --> 00:59:47,158 - Hey, Tom. - Hello, Tom. 1154 00:59:47,242 --> 00:59:50,287 I'd like you to meet my lawyer Rob Newhouse. 1155 00:59:50,370 --> 00:59:53,082 Rob, Michael. Samir. 1156 00:59:53,165 --> 00:59:56,627 Peter! How are you? I'm glad you could make it. 1157 00:59:56,711 --> 00:59:59,714 Tom, hi. This is somebody I'd like you to meet. 1158 00:59:59,797 --> 01:00:01,632 - This is, uh, Joanna. - Hi. 1159 01:00:01,716 --> 01:00:04,135 Hi. Forgive me for not getting up. 1160 01:00:10,808 --> 01:00:13,644 Ooh, ooh. 1161 01:00:13,728 --> 01:00:16,147 Peter, come here a minute. I wanna show you something. 1162 01:00:17,481 --> 01:00:20,109 Well... what do you think? It's a prototype. 1163 01:00:20,192 --> 01:00:21,945 Huh... that's... 1164 01:00:22,029 --> 01:00:24,615 that's exactly as you described it. 1165 01:00:26,617 --> 01:00:29,119 Uh, listen, I heard about your... your settlement. 1166 01:00:29,202 --> 01:00:30,370 Congratulations. 1167 01:00:30,454 --> 01:00:31,580 Well, thanks, Peter. 1168 01:00:31,663 --> 01:00:35,542 You know, I'm glad you're here, because I wanted to talk to you. 1169 01:00:35,626 --> 01:00:38,962 I know how you get depressed about your job and all, and... 1170 01:00:39,046 --> 01:00:41,715 I just wanted you to know that I know how you feel. 1171 01:00:41,798 --> 01:00:43,467 I used to be the same way. 1172 01:00:43,550 --> 01:00:45,552 - Really? - Sure. 1173 01:00:45,636 --> 01:00:47,262 Maybe I didn't whine as much. 1174 01:00:47,346 --> 01:00:50,182 But I bet I hated my job even more than you... 1175 01:00:50,265 --> 01:00:52,560 and I'd been doing it for over thirty years. 1176 01:00:52,644 --> 01:00:53,937 Wow. 1177 01:00:54,020 --> 01:00:57,565 Just remember, if you hang in there long enough... 1178 01:00:57,649 --> 01:01:00,902 good things can happen in this world. 1179 01:01:00,985 --> 01:01:03,071 I mean, look at me. 1180 01:01:04,072 --> 01:01:05,490 Thanks, Tom. 1181 01:01:06,532 --> 01:01:08,409 Ah, sure. 1182 01:01:13,790 --> 01:01:17,001 Conjugal visits? Not that I know of. 1183 01:01:17,085 --> 01:01:19,712 Minimum-security prison is no picnic. 1184 01:01:19,796 --> 01:01:21,923 I have a client in there right now. 1185 01:01:22,006 --> 01:01:23,634 He says the trick is... 1186 01:01:23,717 --> 01:01:25,552 kick someone's ass the first day... 1187 01:01:25,636 --> 01:01:27,096 or become someone's bitch. 1188 01:01:27,179 --> 01:01:29,765 Then everything will be all right. 1189 01:01:29,848 --> 01:01:31,475 Why do you ask, anyway? 1190 01:01:31,558 --> 01:01:33,811 Oh, no, we just... 1191 01:01:33,894 --> 01:01:35,104 It's a... 1192 01:01:41,360 --> 01:01:43,404 - Hey, Peter. - Drew. 1193 01:01:43,487 --> 01:01:45,656 That's something about old Smykowski, huh? 1194 01:01:45,739 --> 01:01:47,533 - Yeah. - Lucky bastard. 1195 01:01:48,701 --> 01:01:51,870 Hey, isn't that the girl that works over at Chotchkie's? 1196 01:01:51,954 --> 01:01:53,706 Yep. 1197 01:01:53,789 --> 01:01:55,375 Who's she here with? 1198 01:01:55,458 --> 01:01:56,751 She's with me. 1199 01:01:58,586 --> 01:02:00,714 - Really? - Yep. 1200 01:02:00,797 --> 01:02:04,259 All right, Peter. Ooh, ooh, right on. 1201 01:02:05,302 --> 01:02:07,429 Make sure you wear a rubber, dude. 1202 01:02:09,723 --> 01:02:10,849 Why's that, Drew? 1203 01:02:10,932 --> 01:02:12,559 Are you kidding me? 1204 01:02:12,642 --> 01:02:14,728 She gets around. All right? 1205 01:02:16,229 --> 01:02:18,231 She does, does she? 1206 01:02:18,315 --> 01:02:20,442 Oh, yeah, like a record. 1207 01:02:23,320 --> 01:02:24,738 Like with who? 1208 01:02:24,821 --> 01:02:27,742 Oh, let's see, uh... 1209 01:02:27,825 --> 01:02:29,994 Hell, Lumbergh fucked her. 1210 01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:32,830 Uh, let me see, who else? 1211 01:02:34,915 --> 01:02:36,083 Lumbergh? 1212 01:02:38,461 --> 01:02:40,796 What if you get caught? 1213 01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:44,091 Oh, I just don't know if this was such a good idea. 1214 01:02:44,175 --> 01:02:47,219 Maybe it wasn't such a good idea for you to sleep with Lumbergh. 1215 01:02:47,303 --> 01:02:48,638 What? 1216 01:02:48,721 --> 01:02:49,931 What are you... 1217 01:02:51,098 --> 01:02:53,059 Oh, right, Lumbergh. 1218 01:02:54,685 --> 01:02:57,814 Oh... God... Lumbergh! 1219 01:02:57,898 --> 01:02:59,900 Peter, what is wrong with you? 1220 01:02:59,983 --> 01:03:01,693 That was, like, two years ago. 1221 01:03:01,777 --> 01:03:03,153 What? Did you know him? 1222 01:03:03,236 --> 01:03:04,821 Yeah, I know him. I know him. 1223 01:03:04,905 --> 01:03:06,198 He's my boss. 1224 01:03:06,281 --> 01:03:09,701 He's my unholy, disgusting pig of a boss. 1225 01:03:09,785 --> 01:03:11,828 Oh, he's not that disgusting. 1226 01:03:11,912 --> 01:03:15,123 He represents all that is soulless and wrong... 1227 01:03:15,207 --> 01:03:16,917 and you slept with him. 1228 01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:20,379 Hey, that is none of your business, OK? 1229 01:03:20,462 --> 01:03:23,298 I didn't ask you who you slept with before we were together. 1230 01:03:23,382 --> 01:03:24,549 I don't care. 1231 01:03:24,633 --> 01:03:26,719 I didn't think you slept with guys like Lumbergh! 1232 01:03:26,803 --> 01:03:28,972 Listen to you. 1233 01:03:29,055 --> 01:03:30,515 Who do you think you are? 1234 01:03:30,598 --> 01:03:33,101 How dare you judge me? 1235 01:03:33,184 --> 01:03:35,979 I mean, what are you? You think you're an ángel? 1236 01:03:36,062 --> 01:03:38,773 No, you're just this penny-stealing... 1237 01:03:38,856 --> 01:03:41,526 wannabe criminal man. 1238 01:03:41,609 --> 01:03:43,278 Yeah, well, that may be. 1239 01:03:43,361 --> 01:03:45,822 But at least I never slept with Lumbergh. 1240 01:03:45,905 --> 01:03:47,198 OK, that's... l'm done. 1241 01:03:47,282 --> 01:03:50,535 I wanna get out of the car, OK? Stop. 1242 01:03:50,618 --> 01:03:52,412 Call me when you grow up. 1243 01:03:52,495 --> 01:03:54,664 Wait. That's probably never gonna happen. 1244 01:03:54,747 --> 01:03:55,873 So don't call me, OK? 1245 01:03:55,957 --> 01:03:58,168 Say hello to Lumbergh for me! 1246 01:04:05,092 --> 01:04:06,885 Hell, Lumbergh fucked her. 1247 01:04:06,969 --> 01:04:08,512 Lumbergh fucked her. 1248 01:04:08,596 --> 01:04:10,764 Lumbergh fucked her. 1249 01:04:10,848 --> 01:04:12,766 That is great. 1250 01:04:12,850 --> 01:04:15,894 I mean, she was seeing the "Oh" face for sure. 1251 01:04:21,483 --> 01:04:24,111 If you could just move a little bit to the left. 1252 01:04:24,194 --> 01:04:26,572 That's it. Great. 1253 01:04:26,655 --> 01:04:28,783 Peter, what's happening? 1254 01:04:28,867 --> 01:04:33,747 Um, could you give me those T.P.S. reports ASAP, OK? 1255 01:04:49,220 --> 01:04:50,805 - Joanna. - Yeah. 1256 01:04:51,389 --> 01:04:53,183 We need to talk. 1257 01:04:53,266 --> 01:04:55,143 Do you know what this is about? 1258 01:04:59,064 --> 01:05:00,733 My, uh, flair? 1259 01:05:00,816 --> 01:05:02,902 Yeah. 1260 01:05:02,985 --> 01:05:06,781 Or your lack of flair, because, uh... 1261 01:05:06,864 --> 01:05:09,241 I'm counting, and I only see fifteen pieces. 1262 01:05:09,325 --> 01:05:11,619 Let me ask you a question, Joanna. 1263 01:05:11,702 --> 01:05:15,831 What do you think of a person who only does the bare minimum? 1264 01:05:17,375 --> 01:05:20,086 Huh, what do I think? Um, you know what, Stan... 1265 01:05:21,337 --> 01:05:24,382 if you want me to wear thirty-seven pieces of flair... 1266 01:05:24,465 --> 01:05:26,759 like your, uh, pretty boy over there, Brian... 1267 01:05:26,842 --> 01:05:28,427 why don't you just make the minimum... 1268 01:05:28,511 --> 01:05:30,472 thirty-seven pieces of flair? 1269 01:05:30,555 --> 01:05:33,141 Well, I thought I remembered you saying... 1270 01:05:33,225 --> 01:05:35,435 that you wanted to express yourself. 1271 01:05:35,519 --> 01:05:37,479 Yeah. You know what? Yeah, I do. 1272 01:05:37,562 --> 01:05:40,023 I do want to express myself. 1273 01:05:40,107 --> 01:05:42,943 And I don't need thirty-seven pieces of flair to do it. 1274 01:05:44,486 --> 01:05:47,072 All right? There's my flair. OK? 1275 01:05:47,155 --> 01:05:51,451 And this is me expressing myself. OK? 1276 01:05:51,535 --> 01:05:53,245 There it is. 1277 01:05:53,328 --> 01:05:54,871 I hate this job. 1278 01:05:54,955 --> 01:05:57,624 I hate this goddamn job, and I don't need it. 1279 01:06:13,433 --> 01:06:14,517 Oh, shit. 1280 01:06:14,601 --> 01:06:16,185 - Shit. - Shit. 1281 01:06:16,269 --> 01:06:18,771 - Shit. - Son of a bitch. 1282 01:06:18,855 --> 01:06:21,566 - Shit. - This is a fuck. 1283 01:06:21,649 --> 01:06:22,734 I... I... Shit. 1284 01:06:22,817 --> 01:06:24,235 What happened? 1285 01:06:24,319 --> 01:06:26,487 You tell me, Michael! It's your software! 1286 01:06:26,571 --> 01:06:28,114 Yes, it's your software. 1287 01:06:28,197 --> 01:06:30,366 Corporate accounting is sure as hell gonna notice... 1288 01:06:30,450 --> 01:06:33,120 three hundred five thousand, three hundred... 1289 01:06:33,203 --> 01:06:36,415 twenty-six thirteen, Michael! 1290 01:06:36,498 --> 01:06:37,833 Oh, shit. 1291 01:06:37,916 --> 01:06:39,918 They probably won't know it's gone... 1292 01:06:40,002 --> 01:06:41,712 for another three or four days. 1293 01:06:41,795 --> 01:06:45,341 Michael! You said this thing was gonna take two years. 1294 01:06:45,424 --> 01:06:47,885 What happened? You said the thing was supposed to work! 1295 01:06:47,968 --> 01:06:49,219 Technically, it did work. 1296 01:06:49,303 --> 01:06:50,596 No, it didn't! 1297 01:06:50,679 --> 01:06:53,557 It did not work, Michael, OK? 1298 01:06:53,641 --> 01:06:55,225 OK. 1299 01:06:55,309 --> 01:06:58,437 I must have put a decimal point in the wrong place or something. 1300 01:06:58,520 --> 01:07:01,065 I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail. 1301 01:07:01,148 --> 01:07:05,195 Oh! Well, this is not a mundane detail, Michael! 1302 01:07:05,278 --> 01:07:06,780 Quit getting pissed at me. 1303 01:07:06,863 --> 01:07:08,782 This was all your idea, asshole. 1304 01:07:10,033 --> 01:07:11,993 All right. OK. 1305 01:07:12,077 --> 01:07:14,579 Let's try not to get pissed off at each other. 1306 01:07:14,663 --> 01:07:17,165 Let's calm down, try to figure this thing out together. 1307 01:07:17,248 --> 01:07:20,919 We gotta close that account before it gets bigger. 1308 01:07:21,002 --> 01:07:25,173 WORKERS SINGING: Happy birthday to you 1309 01:07:25,256 --> 01:07:30,220 Happy birthday to you 1310 01:07:30,303 --> 01:07:35,893 Happy birthday, Mr. Lumbergh 1311 01:07:35,977 --> 01:07:40,106 Happy birthday to you 1312 01:07:44,402 --> 01:07:45,736 Looks terrific. 1313 01:07:47,029 --> 01:07:49,740 Here, Peg, you wanna get everybody started? 1314 01:07:54,245 --> 01:07:55,621 Oh, that is terrific. 1315 01:07:55,705 --> 01:07:56,998 Just terrific. 1316 01:07:57,081 --> 01:08:00,876 Thanks, everybody. I really, really appreciate it. 1317 01:08:00,960 --> 01:08:02,253 It's very special. 1318 01:08:02,336 --> 01:08:04,548 Now, Milton, don't be greedy. 1319 01:08:04,631 --> 01:08:07,884 Let's pass it along and make sure everyone gets a piece. 1320 01:08:07,968 --> 01:08:11,054 But last time I didn't receive a piece and I was told... 1321 01:08:11,138 --> 01:08:12,639 Just pass. 1322 01:08:12,723 --> 01:08:17,936 OK, here. But this... 1323 01:08:19,521 --> 01:08:23,025 The cake... There's lots of cake? 1324 01:08:24,067 --> 01:08:27,070 The ratio of people to cake is too big. 1325 01:08:44,339 --> 01:08:47,050 I could set the building on fire. 1326 01:08:47,133 --> 01:08:51,220 Is there some way to just give the money back? 1327 01:08:51,304 --> 01:08:54,098 Hand them a cheque for the exact amount they're missing? 1328 01:08:54,182 --> 01:08:57,101 I... I think they'd figure that out. 1329 01:08:57,185 --> 01:08:59,437 Well, we have to do something. 1330 01:08:59,520 --> 01:09:01,522 Maybe we could launder the money. 1331 01:09:02,857 --> 01:09:04,817 That's a great idea. 1332 01:09:04,901 --> 01:09:05,944 OK, how do we do that? 1333 01:09:06,027 --> 01:09:07,738 I don't know. 1334 01:09:07,821 --> 01:09:09,490 I don't even know what it means. I was hoping you knew. 1335 01:09:09,573 --> 01:09:11,283 I think coke dealers do it. 1336 01:09:11,367 --> 01:09:13,953 OK, all right. Do we know any coke dealers? 1337 01:09:14,828 --> 01:09:16,330 My cousin's a cokehead. 1338 01:09:21,835 --> 01:09:23,379 Fuck. 1339 01:09:23,462 --> 01:09:24,713 We're in deep shit. 1340 01:09:24,797 --> 01:09:28,467 Yes, we are in very, very deep shit. 1341 01:09:33,472 --> 01:09:35,391 - Milton. - Yes. 1342 01:09:35,474 --> 01:09:36,642 What's happening? 1343 01:09:36,725 --> 01:09:39,229 Say, Milton, you know what'd be great? 1344 01:09:39,312 --> 01:09:40,397 But... no. 1345 01:09:40,480 --> 01:09:42,232 Since you're down here... 1346 01:09:42,315 --> 01:09:45,527 it would be really great if you could just sort of... 1347 01:09:45,610 --> 01:09:48,363 take care of the cockroach problem we've had in here. 1348 01:09:48,446 --> 01:09:51,449 That's really not my job, and I haven't received my paycheque... 1349 01:09:51,533 --> 01:09:53,326 For now, why don't you go ahead... 1350 01:09:53,410 --> 01:09:56,746 and get yourself a flashlight and a can of pesticide... 1351 01:09:56,830 --> 01:09:57,998 and crawl down... 1352 01:09:58,081 --> 01:10:00,500 Bill? We need you upstairs right away. 1353 01:10:00,583 --> 01:10:02,419 We got a big problem... big. 1354 01:10:02,502 --> 01:10:05,422 Some major glitch in accounting, a lot of money missing. 1355 01:10:10,636 --> 01:10:11,804 'Scuse me. 1356 01:10:13,639 --> 01:10:14,807 'Scuse me. 1357 01:10:17,476 --> 01:10:21,397 OK... but that's the last straw. 1358 01:10:21,480 --> 01:10:23,899 Here we go, here we go. 1359 01:10:23,983 --> 01:10:28,237 Uh, launder. "To clean," no. "To wash..." 1360 01:10:28,321 --> 01:10:31,532 "To conceal the source of money... 1361 01:10:31,616 --> 01:10:34,869 "as by channelling it through an intermediary." 1362 01:10:35,661 --> 01:10:37,038 "To conceal..." 1363 01:10:37,121 --> 01:10:39,583 That doesn't really help us, Michael. 1364 01:10:39,666 --> 01:10:41,376 I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. 1365 01:10:41,460 --> 01:10:43,587 We're looking up money laundering in a dictionary. 1366 01:10:43,670 --> 01:10:48,175 Yeah, well, you guys can both eat my ass, OK? 1367 01:10:48,258 --> 01:10:49,968 I can't believe Joanna slept with Lumbergh. 1368 01:10:50,052 --> 01:10:51,219 That's what I can't believe. 1369 01:10:51,303 --> 01:10:54,264 - Yeah. You didn't know that? - Yeah, you didn't know that? 1370 01:10:54,348 --> 01:10:56,391 A couple of years ago, before he moved to Atlanta. 1371 01:10:58,852 --> 01:11:02,731 You mean Ron Lumbergh, the Initrode guy? The young guy? 1372 01:11:02,814 --> 01:11:05,317 Yeah. Who'd you think I meant? Bill? 1373 01:11:07,361 --> 01:11:10,198 Her fucking... Her children would have hooves. 1374 01:11:12,075 --> 01:11:13,743 Ron's not related to Bill, is he? 1375 01:11:15,203 --> 01:11:16,913 Who's that? 1376 01:11:17,914 --> 01:11:19,415 All right, nobody panic. 1377 01:11:19,499 --> 01:11:21,167 Probably just Lawrence. 1378 01:11:24,671 --> 01:11:26,422 Good evening, sir. My name is Steve. 1379 01:11:26,506 --> 01:11:28,007 I come from a rough area. 1380 01:11:28,091 --> 01:11:29,676 I used to be addicted to crack... 1381 01:11:29,759 --> 01:11:31,636 but now I'm off and trying to stay clean. 1382 01:11:31,719 --> 01:11:34,138 That is why I'm selling magazine subscriptions. 1383 01:11:34,222 --> 01:11:36,224 - No, no. - Wait a minute. 1384 01:11:36,307 --> 01:11:38,267 You used to be addicted to crack? 1385 01:11:39,519 --> 01:11:41,063 Yeah. Um... 1386 01:11:42,690 --> 01:11:44,817 Look, I'm very sorry. 1387 01:11:44,900 --> 01:11:47,403 I do not know anything about any money laundering. 1388 01:11:47,486 --> 01:11:49,905 We're not asking you about money laundering. 1389 01:11:49,989 --> 01:11:51,365 All we need is for you to hook us... 1390 01:11:51,448 --> 01:11:53,242 If he doesn't know anybody... 1391 01:11:53,325 --> 01:11:55,077 No. Wait a minute. 1392 01:11:55,160 --> 01:11:58,080 Look, you just give us the name of one drug dealer. 1393 01:11:58,163 --> 01:12:00,582 I could talk to him. I have good networking skill. 1394 01:12:00,666 --> 01:12:01,792 I lied. 1395 01:12:01,875 --> 01:12:04,920 All that stuff I said about being a crackhead... 1396 01:12:05,004 --> 01:12:07,423 just helps me sell magazines. 1397 01:12:07,506 --> 01:12:10,009 I'm actually an unemployed software engineer. 1398 01:12:13,805 --> 01:12:16,891 - You're a software engineer? - Yep. 1399 01:12:16,975 --> 01:12:19,519 Things, they must be very rough for you. 1400 01:12:19,602 --> 01:12:21,229 Actually, man... 1401 01:12:21,313 --> 01:12:23,315 I make more money selling magazine subscriptions... 1402 01:12:23,398 --> 01:12:24,858 than I ever did at Initrode. 1403 01:12:24,941 --> 01:12:27,068 Heh. At Initrode? 1404 01:12:27,152 --> 01:12:29,112 Wait a minute, you're not gonna tell anybody... 1405 01:12:29,195 --> 01:12:30,530 about all this stuff we told you. 1406 01:12:30,614 --> 01:12:33,825 I mean, we know a lot of the same people. That's... 1407 01:12:35,660 --> 01:12:38,330 Actually, um, that all depends. 1408 01:12:43,210 --> 01:12:46,297 What am I gonna do with forty subscriptions to "Vibe"? 1409 01:12:47,590 --> 01:12:48,674 We never should have done this. 1410 01:12:48,758 --> 01:12:50,593 What were we thinking? 1411 01:12:51,510 --> 01:12:52,595 You know what I can't figure out? 1412 01:12:52,678 --> 01:12:55,848 How is it that all these stupid Neanderthal Mafia guys... 1413 01:12:55,931 --> 01:12:57,308 can be so good at crime... 1414 01:12:57,391 --> 01:12:59,894 and smart guys like us can suck so badly at it? 1415 01:12:59,977 --> 01:13:01,520 We're new to it, though. 1416 01:13:01,604 --> 01:13:04,106 If we had more experience... 1417 01:13:04,190 --> 01:13:07,568 No. You know what I think? I think we're screwed. 1418 01:13:07,652 --> 01:13:09,111 I think there's enough evidence... 1419 01:13:09,195 --> 01:13:11,238 all over that building to link us to this. 1420 01:13:11,322 --> 01:13:13,408 Even if we could launder money, I wouldn't want to. 1421 01:13:13,492 --> 01:13:15,077 What we've done is bad enough. 1422 01:13:15,160 --> 01:13:16,411 We get caught laundering money... 1423 01:13:16,495 --> 01:13:18,455 we're not going to white-collar resort prison. 1424 01:13:18,538 --> 01:13:21,458 No. We're going to federal "pound me in the ass" prison. 1425 01:13:21,541 --> 01:13:23,585 I don't want to go to any prison. 1426 01:13:23,669 --> 01:13:25,921 Why the hell did I do this? 1427 01:13:26,004 --> 01:13:28,674 I've never done anything wrong in my whole life. 1428 01:13:28,757 --> 01:13:29,967 We weren't thinking clearly... 1429 01:13:30,050 --> 01:13:32,219 because you told us we were losing our jobs. 1430 01:13:32,302 --> 01:13:34,596 Now look at us, we're worried about going in a prison. 1431 01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:36,890 Don't worry about it. I'll think of something. 1432 01:13:38,600 --> 01:13:40,644 I'm going home. 1433 01:13:40,727 --> 01:13:41,895 Me, too. 1434 01:13:43,563 --> 01:13:47,735 You are a very... bad person, Peter. 1435 01:14:07,964 --> 01:14:09,340 Lawrence, you awake? 1436 01:14:09,424 --> 01:14:10,675 Yeah. 1437 01:14:12,427 --> 01:14:13,636 You wanna come over? 1438 01:14:13,720 --> 01:14:14,804 No, thanks, man. 1439 01:14:14,887 --> 01:14:17,099 I don't want you fucking up my life, too. 1440 01:14:22,646 --> 01:14:25,524 In light of the senselessness of these heinous crimes... 1441 01:14:25,607 --> 01:14:28,027 that you have committed against Initech... 1442 01:14:28,110 --> 01:14:31,113 I hereby sentence you, Michael Bolton... 1443 01:14:31,196 --> 01:14:36,035 and Samir Naan... Nanadajibad... 1444 01:14:36,118 --> 01:14:38,370 to a term of no less than four years... 1445 01:14:38,454 --> 01:14:42,041 in a federal "pound me in the ass" prison. 1446 01:14:45,878 --> 01:14:47,672 Peter Gibbons... 1447 01:14:47,756 --> 01:14:50,508 you've led a trite and meaningless life... 1448 01:14:52,260 --> 01:14:55,180 and you're a very bad person. 1449 01:15:32,426 --> 01:15:33,594 Hey. 1450 01:15:35,012 --> 01:15:37,556 You're not working at Chotchkie's anymore, huh? 1451 01:15:37,640 --> 01:15:39,809 No, no. I got fired. 1452 01:15:40,601 --> 01:15:43,062 - What happened? - I flipped off my boss. 1453 01:15:43,145 --> 01:15:45,231 Some customers... 1454 01:15:45,314 --> 01:15:47,066 Actually, a line cook... 1455 01:15:47,149 --> 01:15:49,152 but he just happened to be standing there, so... 1456 01:15:50,445 --> 01:15:52,531 I might be going away for a while. 1457 01:15:52,614 --> 01:15:56,034 Uh... to jail. 1458 01:15:56,118 --> 01:15:58,036 You were right about that computer scam. 1459 01:15:58,120 --> 01:15:59,454 That was a bad idea. 1460 01:15:59,538 --> 01:16:02,124 I'm gonna take the blame for it, I decided. 1461 01:16:03,292 --> 01:16:05,544 I'm on my way now to return the money... 1462 01:16:05,627 --> 01:16:08,005 and leave the confession under Lumbergh's door. 1463 01:16:10,382 --> 01:16:11,633 Joanna, I want to apologise. 1464 01:16:11,717 --> 01:16:14,219 I had no right to get pissed off at you about Lumbergh. 1465 01:16:14,303 --> 01:16:15,887 Lumbergh is not my problem. 1466 01:16:15,971 --> 01:16:18,015 It wasn't even the right Lumbergh. 1467 01:16:18,098 --> 01:16:21,978 I don't know why I can't just... go to work and be happy... 1468 01:16:22,061 --> 01:16:24,480 like I'm supposed to, like everybody else. 1469 01:16:24,564 --> 01:16:26,733 Peter, most people don't like their jobs. 1470 01:16:26,816 --> 01:16:30,778 But you go out there and find something that makes you happy. 1471 01:16:30,862 --> 01:16:32,739 Yeah. Well... 1472 01:16:34,407 --> 01:16:36,451 I may never be happy at my job... 1473 01:16:36,534 --> 01:16:39,412 but I think that if I could be with you... 1474 01:16:39,495 --> 01:16:41,497 that I could be happy with my life. 1475 01:16:41,581 --> 01:16:43,583 I've been a real asshole. 1476 01:16:43,666 --> 01:16:46,753 But, if you'd give it another shot, I promise... 1477 01:16:46,836 --> 01:16:48,087 OK, shut up. 1478 01:16:52,509 --> 01:16:55,262 Hey, what's going on here? 1479 01:16:55,346 --> 01:16:57,848 Get a room, you two! Ha ha! 1480 01:17:01,310 --> 01:17:03,395 I hate that guy. 1481 01:17:54,323 --> 01:17:56,409 Then Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll... 1482 01:17:56,492 --> 01:17:59,078 and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh. 1483 01:17:59,161 --> 01:18:01,747 And I still haven't received my paycheque. 1484 01:18:01,831 --> 01:18:04,500 And he took my stapler, and he never brought it back. 1485 01:18:04,583 --> 01:18:06,919 And then they moved my desk to storage room "B." 1486 01:18:07,003 --> 01:18:08,838 And there was garbage on it, and... 1487 01:18:08,921 --> 01:18:11,424 Why don't you go back down and sit at your desk? 1488 01:18:11,507 --> 01:18:12,967 Mr. Lumbergh should be here any minute. 1489 01:18:13,050 --> 01:18:16,262 - Mr. Lumbergh... - Just go sit at your desk. 1490 01:18:16,345 --> 01:18:18,806 OK. But, I... I'm gonna just... 1491 01:18:26,481 --> 01:18:28,317 I have to take my stapler back... 1492 01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:32,112 because I told him it's my stapler. 1493 01:18:36,992 --> 01:18:38,827 It's my stapler. 1494 01:18:38,910 --> 01:18:42,664 A Swingline, the brand I've been using for a long time. 1495 01:19:01,851 --> 01:19:03,186 Lawrence, you in there? 1496 01:19:05,021 --> 01:19:07,065 Hey, Peter, man. 1497 01:19:07,148 --> 01:19:08,816 Hey. 1498 01:19:08,900 --> 01:19:11,110 So, I might be going away for a while. 1499 01:19:11,194 --> 01:19:13,112 Yeah, I know, man. 1500 01:19:13,196 --> 01:19:15,698 It's a bummer, dude. What can I say? 1501 01:19:15,782 --> 01:19:17,825 Yeah. Yeah. 1502 01:19:19,494 --> 01:19:22,997 Well, time to go face the music. 1503 01:19:23,081 --> 01:19:25,668 You take care of yourself if I don't see you, all right? 1504 01:19:25,751 --> 01:19:28,253 You too, man. Take her easy, bud. 1505 01:19:28,337 --> 01:19:29,797 All right. 1506 01:19:30,923 --> 01:19:32,299 Hey, Peter. 1507 01:19:32,383 --> 01:19:34,051 Yeah? 1508 01:19:35,177 --> 01:19:36,845 Watch out for your cornhole, bud. 1509 01:19:38,347 --> 01:19:39,765 OK, Lawrence. 1510 01:19:53,487 --> 01:19:55,991 Stay clear, now. Stay clear. 1511 01:19:56,074 --> 01:19:58,243 Holy shit. 1512 01:21:07,731 --> 01:21:10,484 Wait a minute. Let me take a look at that. 1513 01:21:11,318 --> 01:21:12,694 You don't want that, Peter, man. 1514 01:21:12,778 --> 01:21:14,154 That's toasted, man. 1515 01:21:14,237 --> 01:21:17,449 I think I know someone who might want this. 1516 01:21:28,753 --> 01:21:29,921 Hey, man. 1517 01:21:31,172 --> 01:21:32,966 Wanna go to lunch? 1518 01:21:33,716 --> 01:21:35,009 Brought mine in a pail... 1519 01:21:35,093 --> 01:21:37,679 plus Joanna's supposed to come by a little later. 1520 01:21:38,680 --> 01:21:41,099 How do you like your new job? 1521 01:21:41,182 --> 01:21:43,101 Not too bad, not too bad. 1522 01:21:43,184 --> 01:21:44,769 How's Penetrode? 1523 01:21:44,852 --> 01:21:46,479 Initrode. 1524 01:21:46,562 --> 01:21:47,855 They're all right. 1525 01:21:47,939 --> 01:21:49,273 It's work. 1526 01:21:49,357 --> 01:21:51,025 Yeah, yeah. 1527 01:21:51,109 --> 01:21:52,777 Probably get you a job there. 1528 01:21:52,860 --> 01:21:54,654 No, thanks. I, uh... 1529 01:21:54,737 --> 01:21:56,155 I'm doing good here. 1530 01:21:57,991 --> 01:22:01,829 So, uh... we're gonna be OK, right? 1531 01:22:01,912 --> 01:22:03,747 Yeah. 1532 01:22:04,665 --> 01:22:07,126 I think the fire pretty much took care of everything. 1533 01:22:07,209 --> 01:22:09,795 I wonder if the money burn up. 1534 01:22:09,878 --> 01:22:11,130 It would be shame. 1535 01:22:11,213 --> 01:22:12,589 Yeah. 1536 01:22:12,673 --> 01:22:15,551 So you sure you don't want us to get you a job? 1537 01:22:15,634 --> 01:22:18,929 That's one thing I'm definitely sure of. 1538 01:22:21,098 --> 01:22:22,975 All right, chief. 1539 01:22:23,058 --> 01:22:24,310 You guys take care, all right? 1540 01:22:24,393 --> 01:22:25,769 All right. 1541 01:22:26,895 --> 01:22:27,896 Stay in touch, man. 1542 01:22:27,980 --> 01:22:29,733 OK. Will do. 1543 01:22:33,945 --> 01:22:35,864 This isn't so bad, huh? 1544 01:22:37,032 --> 01:22:41,995 Making bucks, getting exercise, working outside. 1545 01:22:42,078 --> 01:22:43,872 Fuckin' "A." 1546 01:22:46,499 --> 01:22:48,251 Fuckin' "A." 1547 01:23:06,729 --> 01:23:08,939 Excuse me. Excuse me, señor. 1548 01:23:09,023 --> 01:23:10,900 May I speak to you, please? 1549 01:23:10,983 --> 01:23:13,569 I asked for a mai tai, and they brought a piña colada. 1550 01:23:13,653 --> 01:23:15,946 And I said no salt, no salt... 1551 01:23:16,030 --> 01:23:17,740 for the margarita, but it had salt on it. 1552 01:23:17,823 --> 01:23:20,409 Lo siento mucho, señor. Pinche gringo. 1553 01:23:20,493 --> 01:23:24,080 I won't be leaving a tip, 'cause I could... 1554 01:23:24,163 --> 01:23:25,998 I could shut this whole resort down. 1555 01:23:26,082 --> 01:23:27,625 Sir? 1556 01:23:27,708 --> 01:23:32,172 I'll take my traveller's cheques to a competing resort. 1557 01:23:34,091 --> 01:23:36,593 I could write a letter to your board of tourism. 1558 01:23:36,677 --> 01:23:38,929 I could have this place condemned. 1559 01:23:39,012 --> 01:23:43,767 I could put, I could put strychnine in the guacamole. 1560 01:23:43,850 --> 01:23:46,395 There was salt on the glass, big grains of salt. 1561 01:24:01,326 --> 01:24:03,287 Give a ride on the old bone roller coaster. 1562 01:24:20,013 --> 01:24:21,639 Don't come back in a dress, man. 1563 01:24:21,723 --> 01:24:23,933 Ha ha ha. You big fag. 1564 01:24:46,665 --> 01:24:47,916 I'm working at Hooters now, you know... 1565 01:24:48,000 --> 01:24:50,002 and it's very cool. 1566 01:24:51,305 --> 01:25:51,843 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP