1 00:02:34,801 --> 00:02:37,668 She shoots, she scores! Goal! 2 00:02:37,804 --> 00:02:39,999 - What? That's right! Give it! - Nice kick. 3 00:02:40,140 --> 00:02:42,074 - Very nice kick. - Give me the ball! 4 00:02:42,209 --> 00:02:43,904 Justin! 5 00:02:44,044 --> 00:02:47,844 - Drop... Put me down! - OK. Down like... 6 00:02:47,981 --> 00:02:49,175 Oh, sorry. 7 00:02:49,316 --> 00:02:50,943 - Goodness. - Hey! 8 00:02:51,084 --> 00:02:52,415 Hi. 9 00:02:56,389 --> 00:02:59,790 - OK, you are really getting good. - You too. 10 00:02:59,926 --> 00:03:03,362 I mean, when we first started going out, you couldn't kiss at all. 11 00:03:03,497 --> 00:03:06,466 - I meant at soccer. - Really? 12 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,625 Absolutely. You're... 13 00:03:08,768 --> 00:03:11,862 ...probably already better than half the guys on my team. 14 00:03:12,005 --> 00:03:14,473 Probably more than half. 15 00:03:18,345 --> 00:03:20,540 What do you mean, I couldn't kiss at all? 16 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:23,672 Don't worry. I've taught you well. 17 00:03:27,754 --> 00:03:30,314 I know. 18 00:03:30,457 --> 00:03:32,288 OK, but seriously, don't you think 19 00:03:32,425 --> 00:03:35,189 you'd get more playing time at a school like Michigan? 20 00:03:35,328 --> 00:03:38,388 Maybe, but it's always been about being a Tar Heel for me. 21 00:03:38,532 --> 00:03:40,500 I'm gonna wear that Carolina blue. 22 00:03:40,634 --> 00:03:43,000 - Yeah. - Yeah, baby! 23 00:03:43,136 --> 00:03:45,604 OK, what is the lacrosse team doing on our field? 24 00:03:45,739 --> 00:03:47,764 - The school cut our team. - Wait, what? 25 00:03:47,908 --> 00:03:50,468 - Not enough girls signed up. - So they just cut us? 26 00:03:50,610 --> 00:03:52,703 They can't do that. 27 00:03:55,282 --> 00:03:57,409 OK. This is not over. 28 00:04:02,656 --> 00:04:04,954 Hi, girls. I heard the bad news. 29 00:04:05,091 --> 00:04:07,286 "Bad"? It's a disaster. 30 00:04:07,427 --> 00:04:10,453 Now college scouts won't even get to see us play. 31 00:04:10,597 --> 00:04:13,964 I know. If there's anything I can do, just say the word. 32 00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:17,194 Matter of fact, there is. We wanna try out for the boys team. 33 00:04:19,439 --> 00:04:20,872 Anything besides that. 34 00:04:21,007 --> 00:04:23,475 Coach, come on! You know that we're good enough. 35 00:04:23,610 --> 00:04:27,205 I don't know that that's a thing that I know. 36 00:04:27,347 --> 00:04:28,405 What? 37 00:04:28,548 --> 00:04:30,277 All we're asking for is one shot. 38 00:04:30,417 --> 00:04:32,317 - Yeah. - Girls, 39 00:04:32,452 --> 00:04:34,818 we have two weeks before school starts. 40 00:04:34,955 --> 00:04:39,585 Then we open against Illyria. A rivalry game. We have to win. 41 00:04:39,726 --> 00:04:41,250 And we can help you win. 42 00:04:41,394 --> 00:04:43,760 - Hey, baby. - Hey. 43 00:04:43,897 --> 00:04:45,296 What's going on, coach? 44 00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:49,767 The girls here want to try out for the team. 45 00:04:51,071 --> 00:04:53,733 - You're not serious. - All right, all right! 46 00:04:53,873 --> 00:04:56,068 You're all excellent players. 47 00:04:56,209 --> 00:04:59,076 - But girls aren't as fast as boys. - Right. 48 00:04:59,212 --> 00:05:01,703 - What? - Or as strong. Or as athletic. 49 00:05:03,416 --> 00:05:06,852 This is not me talking. It's a scientific fact. 50 00:05:06,987 --> 00:05:10,514 Girls can't beat boys. It's as simple as that. 51 00:05:10,657 --> 00:05:13,990 OK. Justin, you're the team captain. What do you think about it? 52 00:05:15,261 --> 00:05:17,525 I think the coach said it all. 53 00:05:17,664 --> 00:05:21,361 Yesterday you told me that I was better than half the guys on your team. 54 00:05:21,501 --> 00:05:22,866 What? 55 00:05:24,671 --> 00:05:25,797 I never said that. 56 00:05:25,939 --> 00:05:28,737 What are you talking about? Why are you lying?! 57 00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:31,366 Viola! End of discussion. 58 00:05:31,511 --> 00:05:33,001 Yeah, tell her, man. 59 00:05:33,146 --> 00:05:35,842 Fine. End of relationship. 60 00:05:38,018 --> 00:05:40,885 - Come on, let's go. - Baby, don't be like that. I... 61 00:05:41,621 --> 00:05:44,488 I just don't want to see you get hurt. 62 00:05:44,624 --> 00:05:45,921 You are so full of... 63 00:05:46,393 --> 00:05:47,951 Back to practice. 64 00:05:52,465 --> 00:05:54,160 Sebastian. 65 00:06:00,540 --> 00:06:03,338 Sebastian?! 66 00:06:04,978 --> 00:06:06,104 Sebastian! Jeez! 67 00:06:09,582 --> 00:06:11,174 It's you. 68 00:06:11,317 --> 00:06:14,480 God, you and your brother look scary alike from the back. 69 00:06:14,621 --> 00:06:16,714 I think it's your total lack of curves. 70 00:06:17,924 --> 00:06:20,085 Hi, Monique. It's so good to see you too. 71 00:06:20,226 --> 00:06:22,456 I'm looking for Sebastian. Where is he? 72 00:06:22,595 --> 00:06:23,926 I don't know. 73 00:06:24,064 --> 00:06:27,056 Just remind your brother how lucky he is to be in my life. 74 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,431 And tell him to give me a call if he wants to stay in it. OK? 75 00:06:30,570 --> 00:06:34,336 OK. Does he have your number? 1-800-BEYOTCH? 76 00:06:38,278 --> 00:06:40,303 She will do great things. 77 00:06:44,084 --> 00:06:47,212 I have a surprise for you! 78 00:06:47,353 --> 00:06:49,685 And this is why I don't bring friends over. 79 00:06:49,823 --> 00:06:52,155 Mom, not now. I had a really bad day, so... 80 00:06:52,292 --> 00:06:54,385 This is just the thing to just perk you up. 81 00:06:54,527 --> 00:06:55,551 - Hold on. - OK. 82 00:06:55,695 --> 00:06:56,889 Keep your eyes closed. 83 00:06:57,030 --> 00:07:00,625 - Eyes closed, closed, closed, closed. - They're closed. 84 00:07:00,767 --> 00:07:02,997 All right. Surprise! 85 00:07:04,871 --> 00:07:08,602 Beautiful gowns for my darling debutante. 86 00:07:08,742 --> 00:07:10,903 Mom, have I not told you a thousand times? 87 00:07:11,044 --> 00:07:15,003 I have no interest in being a debutante. It's totally archaic. 88 00:07:15,148 --> 00:07:17,013 How could I wind up with a daughter 89 00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:20,517 who only wants to kick a muddy ball around a field all day? 90 00:07:20,653 --> 00:07:24,020 Well, the world has been set right, Mom. They cut my team. 91 00:07:24,157 --> 00:07:27,524 - What? No soccer? - Yeah, that's right. No soccer. 92 00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:30,322 - How sad. - Yeah, I can see you're all torn up. 93 00:07:30,463 --> 00:07:33,921 Well, Justin's gonna love you in this. 94 00:07:34,067 --> 00:07:36,627 Yet another reason not to wear it. I dumped him. 95 00:07:36,770 --> 00:07:40,331 - What? Why? - I don't wanna talk about it. 96 00:07:40,473 --> 00:07:43,306 He's so handsome and rugged 97 00:07:43,443 --> 00:07:46,378 and chiseled and great. 98 00:07:46,513 --> 00:07:48,947 Then why don't you date him, Mom? 99 00:07:51,117 --> 00:07:53,779 No, I couldn't. 100 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,148 - Hey, Sebastian. - Hey. 101 00:07:55,288 --> 00:07:56,812 You OK? 102 00:07:56,956 --> 00:07:59,254 Monique was looking for you. 103 00:07:59,959 --> 00:08:01,927 Why do you even date her, anyway? 104 00:08:02,061 --> 00:08:04,689 She's hot. It's a guy thing. 105 00:08:04,831 --> 00:08:07,197 But she's so awful. 106 00:08:09,469 --> 00:08:12,063 Hey, you know, you could use the front door. 107 00:08:12,205 --> 00:08:13,832 And Mom can't see me. 108 00:08:13,973 --> 00:08:16,874 She thinks I'm staying at Dad's. Dad thinks I'm at Mom's. 109 00:08:17,010 --> 00:08:19,638 In two days they both think I'm going away to school. 110 00:08:19,779 --> 00:08:22,976 - That is the beauty of divorce. - Where are you going? 111 00:08:23,116 --> 00:08:24,674 London for a couple of weeks. 112 00:08:24,818 --> 00:08:26,547 As in London, England? 113 00:08:26,686 --> 00:08:29,246 Yeah, my band got a slot in a music festival there. 114 00:08:29,389 --> 00:08:31,857 OK, what are you gonna do about school? 115 00:08:31,991 --> 00:08:35,518 Yeah, I was kind of hoping you could help me with that. 116 00:08:35,662 --> 00:08:39,894 Could you just, like, pretend to be Mom, call Illyria, tell them I'm sick? 117 00:08:40,033 --> 00:08:43,525 Something that sounds like it would last for two weeks, like mad cow. 118 00:08:43,670 --> 00:08:47,231 Sebastian, you just got kicked out of Cornwall for skipping. 119 00:08:47,373 --> 00:08:49,841 This is not exactly the way you want to start out. 120 00:08:49,976 --> 00:08:51,136 I want to be a musician. 121 00:08:51,277 --> 00:08:54,178 Last time I heard, they don't need to know trigonometry. 122 00:08:54,314 --> 00:08:56,475 Besides, if you want to chase your dreams, 123 00:08:56,616 --> 00:08:59,050 sometimes you gotta break the rules, right? 124 00:08:59,185 --> 00:09:02,245 You know the percentage of bands that make it to the big time? 125 00:09:02,388 --> 00:09:04,788 Probably the same as female soccer players. 126 00:09:04,924 --> 00:09:07,757 I will see you in two weeks. 127 00:09:07,894 --> 00:09:09,259 Sebastian. 128 00:09:09,395 --> 00:09:12,796 - Sebastian! - Were you talking with your brother? 129 00:09:12,932 --> 00:09:14,832 No. Yes. 130 00:09:14,968 --> 00:09:18,995 On the phone. He's at Dad's. Bye, Dad. 131 00:09:19,138 --> 00:09:20,571 Picture this: 132 00:09:20,707 --> 00:09:22,334 We're at the country club, 133 00:09:22,475 --> 00:09:26,206 they call your name, and you emerge in this. 134 00:09:29,682 --> 00:09:33,743 No. Sorry, Mom. I have a strict no-ruffles policy. 135 00:09:33,887 --> 00:09:38,984 Sometimes I just think you just might as well be your brother. 136 00:09:43,229 --> 00:09:45,527 You know what? 137 00:09:45,665 --> 00:09:49,226 If you can't join them, beat them. 138 00:09:51,004 --> 00:09:53,564 You want me to turn you into your brother? 139 00:09:53,706 --> 00:09:56,231 That's right. I'm going to Illyria as Sebastian. 140 00:09:56,376 --> 00:10:00,938 I'll make the boys soccer team, and in 12 days beat the Cornwall boys team. 141 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,446 You've taken too many soccer balls to the head. 142 00:10:03,583 --> 00:10:05,414 You know I can do it, Paul. 143 00:10:05,551 --> 00:10:09,487 Except for the voice, manneri the breasts, the mentality and... 144 00:10:09,622 --> 00:10:12,750 It doesn't matter. Nobody at Illyria has even met Sebastian. 145 00:10:12,892 --> 00:10:15,827 - They won't know the difference. - They'll know he's a girl. 146 00:10:15,962 --> 00:10:18,931 - Oh, come on, Paul. - Yeah, come on, Paul. 147 00:10:19,065 --> 00:10:20,828 Yeah, come on, Paul. 148 00:10:23,703 --> 00:10:26,831 OK. OK. I'll see what I can do. 149 00:10:26,973 --> 00:10:28,964 Yes! 150 00:11:24,864 --> 00:11:26,729 Where are you going? 151 00:11:26,866 --> 00:11:29,994 Mom, I told you! I'm going to Dad's house for two weeks. 152 00:11:30,136 --> 00:11:32,001 No, you didn't. And you're not going. 153 00:11:32,138 --> 00:11:34,698 We've hardly spent any time together this summer. 154 00:11:34,841 --> 00:11:36,240 Now go upstairs and unpack. 155 00:11:36,376 --> 00:11:38,742 OK, Mom, I thought about what you said. 156 00:11:38,878 --> 00:11:42,939 And you know Monique is g be there 24l7 with Sebastian, 157 00:11:43,082 --> 00:11:45,175 so, I don't know, I was just thinking 158 00:11:45,318 --> 00:11:48,754 that maybe she'd show me the ropes on the whole debutante thing. 159 00:11:48,888 --> 00:11:51,914 - This is so exciting! - Isn't it?! 160 00:11:52,058 --> 00:11:53,616 You're gonna have so much fun. 161 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:55,921 There's the formal ball. And the luncheon. 162 00:11:56,062 --> 00:11:58,530 And, oh, did I mention the fundraiser next week? 163 00:11:58,664 --> 00:12:00,859 It's gonna be a carnival! 164 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,467 Look out! 165 00:12:02,602 --> 00:12:06,197 Your brother promised to be there, so remind him when you see him. 166 00:12:06,339 --> 00:12:10,298 Oh, my little girl. You're finally gonna be a lady! 167 00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,494 Are you sure I can do this?! 168 00:12:36,636 --> 00:12:38,399 Oh, yeah. Absolutely. 169 00:12:42,708 --> 00:12:44,198 What's up? 170 00:12:45,378 --> 00:12:46,606 Oh, my God, he knew! 171 00:12:46,746 --> 00:12:49,408 - I wanna go home! - Relax. He was being friendly! 172 00:12:49,549 --> 00:12:52,609 We're not going home! Stop it! I did not spend all this time... 173 00:12:52,752 --> 00:12:55,380 - It's your fault! Drive home! - My idea?! You asked me! 174 00:12:55,521 --> 00:12:57,421 - I did your hair and makeup! - Reverse! 175 00:12:57,557 --> 00:12:59,855 - I want to go! - You're being a girl! 176 00:12:59,992 --> 00:13:01,857 - We're not going. - Come on! Drive! 177 00:13:01,994 --> 00:13:03,859 - He was being friendly. - All right! 178 00:13:03,996 --> 00:13:05,759 Let's run through it one more time. 179 00:13:06,432 --> 00:13:07,729 Let me hear the voice. 180 00:13:09,001 --> 00:13:12,767 Hey. What's up? I'm Sebastian. 181 00:13:12,905 --> 00:13:14,395 OK. Now show me the strut. 182 00:13:19,345 --> 00:13:20,573 Now, hawk a loogie. 183 00:13:23,149 --> 00:13:24,707 I'm so proud! 184 00:13:25,618 --> 00:13:27,779 - Get off me! - Remember, 185 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,150 inside every girl there's a boy. 186 00:13:30,289 --> 00:13:32,587 That came out wrong. But you know what I mean. 187 00:13:34,026 --> 00:13:35,960 Vi. 188 00:13:39,599 --> 00:13:40,657 Be a good boy. 189 00:14:19,105 --> 00:14:20,629 See you guys. 190 00:14:21,741 --> 00:14:24,471 I can do this. I am a dude! 191 00:14:24,610 --> 00:14:29,445 I am a hunky dude! I'm a badass hunky dude! 192 00:15:07,954 --> 00:15:11,754 Hey! Hey! What up? 193 00:15:14,493 --> 00:15:16,085 You must be my roommates. 194 00:15:20,233 --> 00:15:21,598 What's your name? 195 00:15:21,734 --> 00:15:25,192 - Sebastian Hastings. - Duke Orsino. 196 00:15:26,372 --> 00:15:28,237 OK. 197 00:15:28,374 --> 00:15:30,706 OK, OK, OK. 198 00:15:30,843 --> 00:15:33,038 This is Andrew and Toby. They live next door. 199 00:15:33,179 --> 00:15:36,148 Yeah. Freshman dorm's that-a-way, twiglet. 200 00:15:36,282 --> 00:15:37,647 Seriously, how old are you? 201 00:15:37,783 --> 00:15:40,377 I skipped a couple grades. 202 00:15:40,519 --> 00:15:42,248 I'm brilliant. 203 00:15:49,528 --> 00:15:52,691 Anyway, do you know when soccer tryouts start? 204 00:15:52,832 --> 00:15:54,390 Noon. You play? 205 00:15:54,533 --> 00:15:58,663 Absolutely. Center forward. You know it, bro. 206 00:15:58,804 --> 00:16:01,329 So you play the beautiful game... bro? 207 00:16:01,474 --> 00:16:03,772 Brothers? Brethren? 208 00:16:03,909 --> 00:16:07,310 Yeah, I'm a striker. Andrew and Toby are halfbacks. 209 00:16:07,446 --> 00:16:08,777 Schveet. 210 00:16:10,950 --> 00:16:12,884 OK, why do you have tampons in your boot? 211 00:16:20,993 --> 00:16:22,722 I get really bad nose bleeds. 212 00:16:22,862 --> 00:16:24,830 So, you stick them up your nose? 213 00:16:26,766 --> 00:16:28,028 Yeah. 214 00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:30,761 What? You've never done that? 215 00:16:32,772 --> 00:16:34,967 Oh, my... Beckham does it all the time. 216 00:16:35,107 --> 00:16:36,404 - Seriously? - Yes. 217 00:16:36,542 --> 00:16:39,010 Look. I'll just show you how to do it. 218 00:16:39,145 --> 00:16:41,477 Take that off and... 219 00:16:41,614 --> 00:16:44,378 ...whatever that is. 220 00:16:44,517 --> 00:16:46,883 And you stick it right in. 221 00:16:47,019 --> 00:16:48,350 It absorbs right up. 222 00:16:50,790 --> 00:16:53,691 - Are you kidding me? - That's disgusting. 223 00:16:53,826 --> 00:16:55,726 Oh, my God, your roommate's a freak. 224 00:16:55,861 --> 00:16:57,852 That's so disgusting. 225 00:16:57,997 --> 00:17:01,933 Let's start the season how we finished the last. 226 00:17:02,068 --> 00:17:03,968 Sharp! 227 00:17:06,806 --> 00:17:09,400 What are you, the runt of the family? 228 00:17:18,484 --> 00:17:21,044 OK, shirts and skins. 229 00:17:22,054 --> 00:17:24,614 Pardon me, sir. I have to be a shirt. 230 00:17:24,757 --> 00:17:27,225 - What? - I'm allergic to the sun. 231 00:17:28,928 --> 00:17:30,555 You're allergic to the sun? 232 00:17:30,696 --> 00:17:34,792 Very, very, very deathly, deathly allergic. 233 00:17:34,934 --> 00:17:37,027 We like to accommodate here at Illyria. 234 00:17:37,169 --> 00:17:40,696 So I'll follow you around with a parasol. All right, Nancy boy? 235 00:17:43,342 --> 00:17:45,003 You're a shirt. 236 00:17:46,512 --> 00:17:49,481 OK, guys, let's go. 237 00:17:50,583 --> 00:17:51,948 One, two, three! 238 00:17:52,084 --> 00:17:55,178 One, two, three! One, two, three! 239 00:18:38,330 --> 00:18:39,592 At ease, gentlemen. 240 00:18:43,602 --> 00:18:48,301 I've seen a lot of energy and commitment out there today. 241 00:18:48,441 --> 00:18:50,636 And that makes a coach proud. 242 00:18:50,776 --> 00:18:54,337 Now, I want to split us up into first string and second string. 243 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,677 You second-stringers, don't take it too hard. 244 00:18:57,817 --> 00:19:01,014 You're just as much part of this team as the first-stringers. 245 00:19:01,153 --> 00:19:04,520 Apart from, of course, playing the game part. 246 00:19:04,657 --> 00:19:06,284 Schuler. 247 00:19:08,627 --> 00:19:10,219 Haims. 248 00:19:12,798 --> 00:19:13,822 Potensky. 249 00:19:15,801 --> 00:19:17,462 Donner. 250 00:19:19,071 --> 00:19:21,301 Hastings. 251 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,170 Second string. 252 00:19:24,310 --> 00:19:27,438 The rest of you, congratulations. First-stringers. 253 00:19:27,580 --> 00:19:28,842 Now, hit the showers. 254 00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:33,209 Shower time. 255 00:19:33,352 --> 00:19:35,149 Shower time? 256 00:19:41,427 --> 00:19:45,193 - Hastings! No shower for you. - OK. 257 00:19:45,331 --> 00:19:48,823 Principal Gold wants to see you in his office. 258 00:19:54,106 --> 00:19:58,167 I'm over. It's done. They know. 259 00:20:00,846 --> 00:20:03,178 Sebastian's file. 260 00:20:08,521 --> 00:20:10,955 Sebastian... 261 00:20:11,090 --> 00:20:13,285 Could it be any bigger? 262 00:20:14,627 --> 00:20:16,356 Mr. Hastings. 263 00:20:19,598 --> 00:20:21,498 Horatio Gold... 264 00:20:21,634 --> 00:20:23,158 ...headmaster. 265 00:20:23,302 --> 00:20:26,669 So very pleased to meet you. So very, very pleased. 266 00:20:26,805 --> 00:20:29,706 Hello, sir. Heard you wanted to see me. 267 00:20:29,842 --> 00:20:32,242 I'd like to say welcome. 268 00:20:42,121 --> 00:20:44,589 I just wanted to have you in to say welcome. 269 00:20:44,723 --> 00:20:46,247 See how you're doing. 270 00:20:46,392 --> 00:20:50,260 Yeah, I'm doing great, you know? Just... busy being a guy. 271 00:20:50,396 --> 00:20:52,296 Being a guy. Yeah. 272 00:20:52,431 --> 00:20:56,765 Let's take a look at your file, Sebastian. And... 273 00:20:56,902 --> 00:21:00,338 Seems to be... stuck a bit. 274 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,765 There we go. All right. 275 00:21:04,343 --> 00:21:07,608 OK. Well... 276 00:21:10,482 --> 00:21:11,949 OK, you're busted. 277 00:21:14,486 --> 00:21:18,388 You don't wanna talk to the headmaster. But I won't take no for an answer. 278 00:21:18,524 --> 00:21:22,893 Now, have a sit in the headmaster's chair. Come on, have a sit. 279 00:21:23,028 --> 00:21:24,859 Sit it. 280 00:21:25,965 --> 00:21:30,231 So, Sebastian Hastings. 281 00:21:30,369 --> 00:21:32,837 - How do you like campus? - Beautiful. 282 00:21:32,972 --> 00:21:37,306 You've been inspired by the charcoal black and candy apple red? 283 00:21:37,443 --> 00:21:40,105 - You know it. - Hey! 284 00:21:40,245 --> 00:21:44,238 Don't touch it. Ever. Ever. Do not do that. 285 00:21:44,383 --> 00:21:47,716 You know, Sebastian, I was a transfer student myself... 286 00:21:48,854 --> 00:21:52,221 ...once upon a time. Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. 287 00:21:52,358 --> 00:21:54,383 So I keep a special interest 288 00:21:54,526 --> 00:21:57,051 in the transfer students that come to this school. 289 00:21:57,196 --> 00:22:00,688 Act as a... unofficial big brother. 290 00:22:00,833 --> 00:22:04,701 Don't be surprised if I just pop in unannounced just to check up. 291 00:22:04,837 --> 00:22:08,398 Yeah, I look forward to it. 292 00:22:08,540 --> 00:22:10,337 Now scoot! 293 00:22:15,681 --> 00:22:16,875 Sorry. 294 00:22:17,016 --> 00:22:19,143 - Don't worry about it. - My fault. 295 00:22:19,284 --> 00:22:20,546 What is? 296 00:22:23,322 --> 00:22:25,415 Getting to know the opposite sex, are we? 297 00:22:25,557 --> 00:22:29,357 Male-female dynamics. All that sexual tension. 298 00:22:29,495 --> 00:22:32,726 It's all part of the high school experience. So continue. Please. 299 00:22:32,865 --> 00:22:34,890 But keep it clean, though. OK. 300 00:22:35,034 --> 00:22:39,971 Abstinence is key. Abstinence is... The best way to not is to not. 301 00:22:42,274 --> 00:22:43,673 Yes. 302 00:22:47,212 --> 00:22:49,737 Is he always that friendly? 303 00:22:49,882 --> 00:22:52,077 Are you kidding? That's him being rude. 304 00:22:54,219 --> 00:22:56,710 All right. Cute shoes. 305 00:22:56,855 --> 00:22:58,948 You think so? I got them at Anthropologie. 306 00:22:59,091 --> 00:23:02,720 - No way! They have shoes there? - Oh, yeah. Right by the accessories. 307 00:23:05,664 --> 00:23:06,790 Here are your books. 308 00:23:07,666 --> 00:23:10,294 - Thanks. - Well, I guess I'm gonna, 309 00:23:10,436 --> 00:23:13,997 you know, go take care of some guy stuff. 310 00:23:15,107 --> 00:23:16,199 OK. 311 00:23:19,845 --> 00:23:24,475 There you go. Have a great apple and sandwich. 312 00:23:24,616 --> 00:23:25,913 Hi! I would love a... 313 00:23:26,051 --> 00:23:27,075 - No. - But... 314 00:23:27,219 --> 00:23:30,347 Hey, dudes. Mind if I join? 315 00:23:31,290 --> 00:23:32,587 Thanks. 316 00:23:32,725 --> 00:23:35,125 So those soccer tryouts were bogus, huh? 317 00:23:35,260 --> 00:23:40,197 I mean, second string? Come on, that's ridiculous. Am I right? Am I right? 318 00:23:42,367 --> 00:23:45,302 So the game against Cornwall, that should be interesting. 319 00:23:45,437 --> 00:23:47,166 And why would that be interesting? 320 00:23:47,306 --> 00:23:52,107 Well, my sister goes there, and she used to date that tool Justin Drayton. 321 00:23:52,244 --> 00:23:53,734 I know him. 322 00:23:53,879 --> 00:23:56,177 - I made him cry once during a game. - Wait. 323 00:23:56,315 --> 00:23:58,647 - That was you? - Absolutely. 324 00:23:58,784 --> 00:24:00,615 - That was so funny. - Wow. 325 00:24:00,753 --> 00:24:02,618 Is your sister hot? 326 00:24:04,189 --> 00:24:06,680 I guess so. 327 00:24:06,825 --> 00:24:08,588 She's got a great personality. 328 00:24:11,230 --> 00:24:12,424 Incoming. 329 00:24:17,169 --> 00:24:20,764 Oh, yeah! Check out the booty on that blondie. 330 00:24:20,906 --> 00:24:23,204 Don't talk about her that way. 331 00:24:23,342 --> 00:24:25,333 Is that your girlfriend? 332 00:24:25,477 --> 00:24:28,105 He wishes. 333 00:24:28,247 --> 00:24:30,772 She was dating this college guy, but he dumped her. 334 00:24:30,916 --> 00:24:33,384 I hear she's a total mess now, really vulnerable. 335 00:24:33,519 --> 00:24:35,851 Confidence, self-esteem is way down. 336 00:24:35,988 --> 00:24:38,957 - In man words, it's time to pounce. - Exactly. 337 00:24:42,261 --> 00:24:44,286 I hate that guy. 338 00:24:48,534 --> 00:24:51,469 Did you know bologna is 38 percent hoof? 339 00:24:51,603 --> 00:24:53,662 Thanks, Malcolm. 340 00:24:53,806 --> 00:24:56,639 Looks like you got some competition. 341 00:24:56,775 --> 00:24:59,073 - It's just Malcolm. - Total geek. 342 00:25:01,313 --> 00:25:04,146 She looks so sad. It's heartbreaking. 343 00:25:05,450 --> 00:25:08,180 It... it's just... I can relate, you know? 344 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:11,187 I mean, I just got out of a bad relationship too. 345 00:25:11,323 --> 00:25:14,451 I mean, you think you know someone. 346 00:25:14,593 --> 00:25:18,188 And you realize it's all been a big lie. 347 00:25:18,330 --> 00:25:20,355 Every touch. 348 00:25:20,499 --> 00:25:22,865 Every kiss. 349 00:25:23,001 --> 00:25:27,529 Plus, you know, you can never get chicks to shut up. 350 00:25:27,673 --> 00:25:30,699 All right, guys, catch up with you later. 351 00:25:38,183 --> 00:25:40,777 Empty shower. 352 00:25:42,287 --> 00:25:44,050 Yes! 353 00:25:44,189 --> 00:25:48,853 I get to take a shower. I get to take a shower. 354 00:25:57,402 --> 00:26:00,098 Malcolm Festes, dorm director. 355 00:26:00,239 --> 00:26:03,174 Shower shoes are to be worn in the bathroom at all times 356 00:26:03,308 --> 00:26:05,173 except when in the actual shower. 357 00:26:05,310 --> 00:26:08,006 Did you not read your Dorm Life pamphlet? 358 00:26:08,146 --> 00:26:09,545 It was in your cubby. 359 00:26:11,817 --> 00:26:13,216 Wassup, dawg? 360 00:26:13,986 --> 00:26:16,079 Yeah. OK, homey. 361 00:26:21,493 --> 00:26:23,358 Later. 362 00:26:23,495 --> 00:26:27,864 Hey. You forgot... this, Coolio. 363 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,831 Word, G-Money. 364 00:26:50,489 --> 00:26:52,957 OK, Hastings, you're up! 365 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:56,593 Hastings, are you deaf?! 366 00:26:56,728 --> 00:26:59,390 Come on, let's go! 367 00:26:59,531 --> 00:27:03,262 Get your butt out there! Come on! 368 00:27:03,402 --> 00:27:05,267 Get out! 369 00:27:05,404 --> 00:27:07,565 Jesus! 370 00:27:27,759 --> 00:27:29,590 Come on, baby. Come on. 371 00:27:43,508 --> 00:27:44,839 Rise and shine. 372 00:27:47,446 --> 00:27:49,209 Wait! Let go! 373 00:27:49,348 --> 00:27:50,372 Let go! 374 00:27:50,515 --> 00:27:53,746 Welcome to hell! 375 00:27:59,992 --> 00:28:05,726 Gentlemen! Let me present this year's soccer newbies! 376 00:28:05,864 --> 00:28:07,832 First, you must remove your clothes! 377 00:28:07,966 --> 00:28:10,696 Remove their clothes! Remove their clothes! 378 00:28:10,836 --> 00:28:12,201 Take your clothes off now! 379 00:28:12,337 --> 00:28:14,464 Remove their clothes! 380 00:28:30,756 --> 00:28:32,883 Hello. My life sucks. 381 00:28:33,025 --> 00:28:34,049 - I'm d - What? 382 00:28:34,192 --> 00:28:36,092 Everybody thinks I'm a loser deviant. 383 00:28:36,228 --> 00:28:38,389 I'll never see the field against Cornwall. 384 00:28:38,530 --> 00:28:41,260 And I smell so bad I'm convulsing people. 385 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:45,461 Pick me up, take me home and make I never do anything like this again. 386 00:28:45,604 --> 00:28:50,132 Look, Vi, I don't know what to tell you about the whole soccer team... 387 00:28:50,275 --> 00:28:52,937 ...but as for the social stuff, I got an idea. 388 00:28:53,078 --> 00:28:55,444 - You - Yeah. 389 00:28:55,580 --> 00:28:58,743 We're gonna show everybody the man that you really are. 390 00:28:58,884 --> 00:29:00,146 How are we gonna do that? 391 00:29:00,285 --> 00:29:01,752 Go, Viola. 392 00:29:04,122 --> 00:29:07,922 High five. Nice. 393 00:29:08,060 --> 00:29:10,927 Man. Look who's here. 394 00:29:11,063 --> 00:29:12,997 Foxy mama. 395 00:29:13,799 --> 00:29:15,926 Don't look at him. Maybe he won't see us. 396 00:29:16,068 --> 00:29:18,832 Spread out so it looks like we got no room. 397 00:29:21,473 --> 00:29:23,964 - What's up? - What's up? 398 00:29:24,109 --> 00:29:25,337 Go, Kia. 399 00:29:31,883 --> 00:29:34,750 - Hey, Sebastian. - Kia. 400 00:29:37,222 --> 00:29:39,122 Hey, girl. How you doing, baby? 401 00:29:39,257 --> 00:29:41,623 - Not the same without you. - I know. I'm sorry. 402 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:43,694 New school, new babe pool. 403 00:29:44,830 --> 00:29:47,264 I miss you, Sebastian. 404 00:29:47,399 --> 00:29:49,959 I've been thinking about you a lot. 405 00:29:50,102 --> 00:29:51,865 - Especially at night. - Sweet. 406 00:29:52,003 --> 00:29:53,971 - And late. - Even better. 407 00:29:54,106 --> 00:29:55,801 Did she just say that to Sebastian? 408 00:29:55,941 --> 00:29:58,705 - What just happened? - Oh, Sebastian. 409 00:29:58,844 --> 00:30:01,870 OK, big, mournful sigh. Bittersweet farewell. 410 00:30:02,013 --> 00:30:03,446 You're his plaything, baby. 411 00:30:03,582 --> 00:30:05,641 It was really great to see you, Sebastian. 412 00:30:05,784 --> 00:30:08,810 Call me anytime. 413 00:30:15,861 --> 00:30:17,328 I'd tap that. 414 00:30:17,462 --> 00:30:19,953 Thank you, Kia. You're gorgeous. And go, Yvonne. 415 00:30:20,098 --> 00:30:21,622 Women. 416 00:30:21,766 --> 00:30:23,825 - Yeah. - Yeah, you know what I'm saying? 417 00:30:26,972 --> 00:30:29,497 Sebastian? Is that you? 418 00:30:29,641 --> 00:30:31,666 Hey, what's going on, Yvonne? 419 00:30:31,810 --> 00:30:33,368 - Who's this one? - Nothing. 420 00:30:33,512 --> 00:30:37,812 I mean, our school lost its top gun, Sebastian Hastings. 421 00:30:37,949 --> 00:30:42,386 Well, time comes for a man to move along, Yvonne. 422 00:30:42,521 --> 00:30:44,682 I know, Sebastian. 423 00:30:44,823 --> 00:30:47,018 In the end I wasn't woman enough for you. 424 00:30:47,159 --> 00:30:48,387 No, you weren't. 425 00:30:48,527 --> 00:30:51,018 That's something I'll always have to live with. 426 00:30:51,163 --> 00:30:53,723 - It just hurts, that's all. - Love is pain. 427 00:30:53,865 --> 00:30:57,028 Just know I'll never forget you, Sebastian. 428 00:30:57,169 --> 00:31:00,104 Ever! Never! 429 00:31:06,178 --> 00:31:09,011 Needy. 430 00:31:09,147 --> 00:31:13,413 OK. We might need to do a little reevaluating here. 431 00:31:13,552 --> 00:31:16,385 - Yeah. - Hey there, pretty lady. 432 00:31:16,521 --> 00:31:19,752 What? What are you, hitting on me? 433 00:31:19,891 --> 00:31:22,860 - I was just... - "I was just..." 434 00:31:22,994 --> 00:31:26,862 OK, let me put a stop to that little brain fart right now. 435 00:31:26,998 --> 00:31:31,162 Girls with asses like mine do not talk to boys with faces like yours. 436 00:31:34,039 --> 00:31:38,203 I'm looking for my boyfriend Sebastian Hastings. Have you guys seen him? 437 00:31:40,312 --> 00:31:41,609 Sebastian? 438 00:31:41,746 --> 00:31:44,306 Don't let her get too close, she'll recognize you. 439 00:31:44,449 --> 00:31:46,542 What am I gonna do? 440 00:31:46,685 --> 00:31:48,915 - Keep away from me! - I beg your pardon?! 441 00:31:49,054 --> 00:31:52,080 Pretty ladies. OK, don't come any closer, Monique. 442 00:31:52,224 --> 00:31:53,987 - Sebastian! - It's over! 443 00:31:54,125 --> 00:31:55,558 What are you talking about?! 444 00:31:55,694 --> 00:31:58,492 - I don't want to talk to you! - Sebastian, come back here. 445 00:31:58,630 --> 00:32:00,461 You're hot, Monique. Smoking hot. 446 00:32:00,599 --> 00:32:02,533 Come here. Get! Get! Get! 447 00:32:02,667 --> 00:32:05,397 - But there are plenty of hot girls. - Come back here. 448 00:32:05,537 --> 00:32:10,770 And the truth is, you have absolutely nothing else to offer. 449 00:32:10,909 --> 00:32:14,640 And when my eyes are closed, I see you for what you truly are, 450 00:32:14,779 --> 00:32:18,545 which is ugly! We're done! 451 00:32:21,453 --> 00:32:24,820 That was amazing! 452 00:32:24,956 --> 00:32:26,287 You the man! 453 00:32:26,424 --> 00:32:29,552 What's wrong with you guys? Make some room for the man. 454 00:32:29,694 --> 00:32:31,559 Sit down! 455 00:32:31,696 --> 00:32:33,857 You're officially my idol now, man. 456 00:32:36,234 --> 00:32:37,394 There he is. 457 00:32:37,535 --> 00:32:39,469 - What's up? - What's up, brothers? 458 00:32:39,604 --> 00:32:41,902 - Hey, Sebastian. - Lovelies. 459 00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,565 - Holler at your boy. - Yo! Yo! Sebastian! 460 00:32:44,709 --> 00:32:46,404 Can you get out of my way right now? 461 00:32:46,544 --> 00:32:48,671 I need your advice. I got lady troubles. 462 00:32:48,813 --> 00:32:51,976 I'm here for you, bro. I got a lifetime of knowledge. 463 00:32:52,684 --> 00:32:53,946 How long did you date? 464 00:32:54,085 --> 00:32:57,350 Too long. Ball and frickin' chain, man. 465 00:33:01,226 --> 00:33:03,023 Dude. 466 00:33:03,161 --> 00:33:06,790 Justine. Chick won't stop dogging me, man. 467 00:33:07,999 --> 00:33:11,196 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She's in our class. 468 00:33:11,336 --> 00:33:14,703 Dude, quit blushing. That's lame. 469 00:33:14,839 --> 00:33:16,466 Shut up. I'm not blushing. 470 00:33:16,608 --> 00:33:18,803 Everyone, please take a slip 471 00:33:18,943 --> 00:33:21,673 and read off the name of your lab partner. 472 00:33:24,683 --> 00:33:25,741 "Eunice Bates." 473 00:33:28,153 --> 00:33:30,485 You got to be kidding me. 474 00:33:30,622 --> 00:33:32,817 - Be nice. - Yeah. 475 00:33:32,957 --> 00:33:34,720 She got something-something. 476 00:33:34,859 --> 00:33:37,692 Yeah, asthma and headgear. 477 00:33:39,464 --> 00:33:42,331 "Olivia Lennox." 478 00:33:43,735 --> 00:33:45,896 - You know her? - I talked to her for a second. 479 00:33:46,037 --> 00:33:47,664 About what? She gave you the nod. 480 00:33:47,806 --> 00:33:49,865 - She did a good one. - She gives good nod. 481 00:33:50,008 --> 00:33:51,407 Could everybody calm down? 482 00:33:51,543 --> 00:33:54,706 I can't believe you got her as a lab par... Switch with me. 483 00:33:54,846 --> 00:33:57,542 I can't. I said her name out loud. 484 00:34:00,885 --> 00:34:03,911 Some guys just walk in the light, you know? 485 00:34:04,055 --> 00:34:06,023 - Hello, again. - Hello. 486 00:34:06,157 --> 00:34:09,183 I don't think we introduced ourselves before. I'm Sebastian. 487 00:34:09,327 --> 00:34:10,316 Olivia. 488 00:34:16,901 --> 00:34:22,339 I'm gonna be the best lab partner you ever had. 489 00:34:23,174 --> 00:34:25,142 Cool. 490 00:34:25,276 --> 00:34:27,437 I gotta be completely honest. 491 00:34:27,579 --> 00:34:30,139 The whole dissecting thing kind of freaks me out. 492 00:34:30,281 --> 00:34:33,045 So, think you may have to take the reins on this one. 493 00:34:33,184 --> 00:34:36,813 Wow. Most guys would never admit that. 494 00:34:36,955 --> 00:34:38,217 Oh, crap, you're right. 495 00:34:38,356 --> 00:34:40,654 No, don't worry. I think it's refreshing. 496 00:34:40,792 --> 00:34:43,283 - You do? - No paper near the Bunsen burner. 497 00:34:43,428 --> 00:34:46,955 - Wait. - What's this? Poems? 498 00:34:47,098 --> 00:34:49,225 Lyrics. They're his... 499 00:34:49,367 --> 00:34:51,801 My... my old stuff. 500 00:34:51,936 --> 00:34:55,201 "Wake up, I've been waiting for you." 501 00:35:00,545 --> 00:35:04,140 Those are really good. So honest. 502 00:35:04,282 --> 00:35:08,514 I know. I keep telling him... me... meself... my... myself... 503 00:35:08,653 --> 00:35:10,518 I write songs too, Olivia. 504 00:35:10,655 --> 00:35:12,680 - Really? Wonderful. - Check it out. 505 00:35:25,603 --> 00:35:27,127 You, you sit. 506 00:35:27,272 --> 00:35:31,038 You, go. Go! 507 00:35:31,176 --> 00:35:34,304 - Did you say anything about me? - No. Was I supposed to? 508 00:35:34,446 --> 00:35:36,539 Come on. This is perfect. 509 00:35:36,681 --> 00:35:39,707 You get to spend an hour with her every other day. 510 00:35:39,851 --> 00:35:41,944 You can convince her to go out with me. 511 00:35:42,086 --> 00:35:44,554 She had that option for three and a half years. 512 00:35:44,689 --> 00:35:48,489 I'll tell you what. You do this, I'll work with you on your soccer. 513 00:35:48,626 --> 00:35:51,151 I'll make you good enough to make first string. 514 00:35:51,296 --> 00:35:53,457 - By the Cornwall game? - Absolutely. 515 00:35:53,598 --> 00:35:56,123 OK, yeah. You got a deal. 516 00:35:56,267 --> 00:35:59,065 - You're the man. - Yes, I am. 517 00:37:51,282 --> 00:37:53,045 Right. 518 00:37:54,686 --> 00:37:58,349 Oh, for the love of God! It burns! 519 00:37:58,489 --> 00:38:00,013 It just isn't fair, Malvolio. 520 00:38:00,158 --> 00:38:03,753 I wait three years for Olivia, and then some transfer student comes in 521 00:38:03,895 --> 00:38:06,420 and suddenly she's acting like some... 522 00:38:06,564 --> 00:38:09,931 ...obsessed, love-struck teenager. 523 00:38:10,068 --> 00:38:12,764 I'm not gonna take that lying down, Malvolio! 524 00:38:13,972 --> 00:38:15,769 Yeah, I know. I know. 525 00:38:17,041 --> 00:38:18,440 You're absolutely right. 526 00:38:18,576 --> 00:38:20,942 I'll do some digging, I'll find out what it is, 527 00:38:21,079 --> 00:38:24,378 and I'll nip his chances with Olivia right in the bud. 528 00:38:25,817 --> 00:38:29,514 What's that? Oh, yeah, sure. A walk. Sorry. Come on. 529 00:38:30,788 --> 00:38:32,619 You are so smart. 530 00:38:32,757 --> 00:38:34,315 Hello. 531 00:38:34,459 --> 00:38:36,222 - Miss - What's going on? 532 00:38:36,361 --> 00:38:37,828 What's wrong with your voice? 533 00:38:37,962 --> 00:38:40,294 I just have a little bit of a cold. 534 00:38:40,431 --> 00:38:43,229 So... I'm still a little phlegmy. 535 00:38:43,368 --> 00:38:44,665 - Call my sch - Yeah. 536 00:38:44,802 --> 00:38:48,033 It's all taken care of. Just make sure you're back by the 12th. 537 00:38:48,172 --> 00:38:50,140 It was so cool, Vi. 538 00:38:50,274 --> 00:38:53,141 We went on a couple days ea and the crowd flipped for us. 539 00:38:53,277 --> 00:38:56,508 They wanted an encore, s did one of my songs acoustically. 540 00:38:56,648 --> 00:38:59,549 - They went nuts for my lyrics. - Oh, that's so cool. 541 00:38:59,684 --> 00:39:01,515 And you were right about Monique. 542 00:39:01,653 --> 00:39:03,086 She's history. 543 00:39:03,221 --> 00:39:06,486 - She really is, isn't - I got to go. I'll talk to you later. 544 00:39:06,624 --> 00:39:09,252 OK. Bye. 545 00:39:09,394 --> 00:39:11,988 Trouble with your wig, Hastings? 546 00:39:12,130 --> 00:39:14,928 No, I actually... I have a scalp condition. 547 00:39:15,066 --> 00:39:16,658 - No, you don't. - Yeah, I do. 548 00:39:16,801 --> 00:39:19,326 I really do. It's really acting up during the... 549 00:39:19,470 --> 00:39:21,665 No, you don't. 550 00:39:21,806 --> 00:39:24,001 You've got male pattern baldness. 551 00:39:24,142 --> 00:39:26,110 Scoot over, kiddo. 552 00:39:26,244 --> 00:39:28,337 I don't know if you've realized, 553 00:39:28,479 --> 00:39:30,845 but recently I've started to thin out myself. 554 00:39:30,982 --> 00:39:33,576 I've tried all the creams and the butters, 555 00:39:33,718 --> 00:39:36,846 and I still can't seem to stop Mother Nature's vindictive fury, 556 00:39:36,988 --> 00:39:39,354 and neither can you. 557 00:39:39,490 --> 00:39:42,015 There's gonna be a time when you'll have to come out 558 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,788 of the closet and just accept yourself for who you are. 559 00:39:44,929 --> 00:39:46,453 A baldy. OK? 560 00:39:46,597 --> 00:39:48,861 But it's gonna be all right. OK? 561 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:52,663 Oh, and between you and me, chicks dig it. 562 00:39:55,339 --> 00:39:58,365 Hang ten. Yeah. 563 00:39:58,509 --> 00:40:02,036 Hi, Olivia. I don't want you to be worried, but Malvolio's missing. 564 00:40:02,180 --> 00:40:03,477 - Oh, no! - Yeah. 565 00:40:03,614 --> 00:40:06,481 If you see him, don't feed him. He has an irritable bowel. 566 00:40:06,617 --> 00:40:09,142 Yeah. 'Cause that would be my very first instinct. 567 00:40:09,287 --> 00:40:12,120 To feed the tarantula. 568 00:40:18,863 --> 00:40:20,888 Here's a wild idea. 569 00:40:21,032 --> 00:40:24,160 Have you ever thought about going out with Duke Orsino? 570 00:40:24,302 --> 00:40:25,826 I see that. 571 00:40:27,271 --> 00:40:28,568 - Duke? - Yeah. 572 00:40:28,706 --> 00:40:29,764 - No. - Yeah. 573 00:40:29,907 --> 00:40:30,999 - No. - Yeah. 574 00:40:31,142 --> 00:40:33,076 - Yeah? - No! 575 00:40:33,211 --> 00:40:35,577 I mean, he's good-looking and everything, 576 00:40:35,713 --> 00:40:38,511 but he's just not the guy for me. 577 00:40:38,649 --> 00:40:40,344 I don't know. 578 00:40:40,485 --> 00:40:43,079 Think there may be more to him than you think there is. 579 00:40:43,221 --> 00:40:45,985 So you're telling me he's not just another dumb jock 580 00:40:46,124 --> 00:40:49,423 who wants to hook up with me so he could tell his friends, but too? 581 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:53,087 - Insecure to treat you as an equal? - Exactly. 582 00:40:53,231 --> 00:40:54,357 Tell me about it. 583 00:40:54,499 --> 00:40:57,798 You're the first guy at school who hasn't tried anything with me. 584 00:40:59,036 --> 00:41:00,697 Trust me, you're not my type. 585 00:41:02,006 --> 00:41:03,132 Well, why not? 586 00:41:07,145 --> 00:41:09,204 You know, it's just... 587 00:41:09,347 --> 00:41:11,645 ...I don't think of you in that way. 588 00:41:11,783 --> 00:41:13,273 We're friends, you know. 589 00:41:13,417 --> 00:41:15,647 You're actually one of the few people here 590 00:41:15,787 --> 00:41:18,187 that I feel comfortable around. 591 00:41:18,322 --> 00:41:20,620 I feel the same way about you. 592 00:41:20,758 --> 00:41:23,989 Good. Then just take my advice. 593 00:41:24,128 --> 00:41:27,154 Go out with Duke. 594 00:41:27,298 --> 00:41:28,993 I'll consider it. 595 00:41:30,635 --> 00:41:34,071 So, what is that exactly? 596 00:41:34,205 --> 00:41:36,332 I think that's the spleen. 597 00:41:41,012 --> 00:41:43,503 OK, who's your daddy? 598 00:41:44,949 --> 00:41:49,181 I got her to agree to consider you. You're halfway in. 599 00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,845 All right, OK. So should I ask her out? 600 00:41:51,989 --> 00:41:53,820 No. You don't want to freak her out. 601 00:41:53,958 --> 00:41:57,394 You got to have a casual conversation first. Hello. 602 00:42:01,232 --> 00:42:04,531 Why do I get the feeling you don't do this very often? 603 00:42:04,669 --> 00:42:08,264 Man, I just... I'm not really good at talking to girls. 604 00:42:08,406 --> 00:42:10,499 - Why? You're hot! - What? 605 00:42:10,641 --> 00:42:13,041 You know, you're an appealing guy... 606 00:42:13,177 --> 00:42:16,078 Man... guy... guy-man. 607 00:42:16,214 --> 00:42:19,377 Look, I don't know. I just always say the wrong... 608 00:42:19,517 --> 00:42:21,348 I just always say the wrong thing. 609 00:42:21,485 --> 00:42:24,886 OK. All right. Come on. Let's get up. 610 00:42:25,022 --> 00:42:29,049 I want to try something. I'll act like a girl, and you're going to talk to me. 611 00:42:29,193 --> 00:42:31,058 Do I have to? 612 00:42:31,195 --> 00:42:33,993 Yes! Because I'm Viola. 613 00:42:34,131 --> 00:42:36,190 - Duke? Nice to meet you. - That was creepy. 614 00:42:36,334 --> 00:42:38,564 You really just sounded like a girl just then. 615 00:42:38,703 --> 00:42:40,637 I used to imitate my sister all the time. 616 00:42:40,771 --> 00:42:43,239 I got really good at it. Come on. And get up! 617 00:42:43,374 --> 00:42:45,968 Come on. Ask me some questions, 618 00:42:46,110 --> 00:42:49,238 and if the chemistry's right, things'll just start flowing. 619 00:42:50,948 --> 00:42:54,577 - Questions about what? - Anything. Ask me if... 620 00:42:54,719 --> 00:42:55,947 ...I like... 621 00:42:56,087 --> 00:42:57,076 ...cheese. 622 00:42:58,856 --> 00:43:02,986 OK. Do you like cheese? 623 00:43:03,127 --> 00:43:05,960 Why, yes I do. My favorite's Gouda. 624 00:43:06,097 --> 00:43:09,430 - I like Gouda too. - See? 625 00:43:09,567 --> 00:43:11,091 - See what? - We're flowing. 626 00:43:11,235 --> 00:43:13,100 We're talking about cheese. 627 00:43:13,237 --> 00:43:14,636 So what? Flow is flow. 628 00:43:14,772 --> 00:43:16,899 What? What's that? 629 00:43:17,041 --> 00:43:19,635 What is that?! It touched me! It touched me! 630 00:43:19,777 --> 00:43:22,974 It's Malcolm's tarantula! Get it! 631 00:43:23,114 --> 00:43:25,309 - You get it! - You're the guy! 632 00:43:25,449 --> 00:43:26,438 The bigger guy. 633 00:43:37,328 --> 00:43:38,522 Sorry! 634 00:43:38,663 --> 00:43:42,497 You don't ever, ever do that girl voice again! 635 00:43:42,633 --> 00:43:44,624 - Freaked me out! - My bad. 636 00:43:49,106 --> 00:43:51,165 Sebastian, honey, this is your mother. 637 00:43:51,309 --> 00:43:54,176 I'm calling to remind about the carnival tomorrow. 638 00:43:54,312 --> 00:43:57,679 You and your sister prom you'd both be there. Bye-bye. 639 00:43:59,016 --> 00:44:01,507 Crap! Forgot about that! 640 00:44:01,652 --> 00:44:04,678 - Wait, your mom's in Junior League? - Yeah. How'd you know? 641 00:44:04,822 --> 00:44:07,188 So is mine. I gotta go too. 642 00:44:07,325 --> 00:44:10,783 I can't deal with this right now. I have soccer to worry about. 643 00:44:10,928 --> 00:44:14,056 Not gonna be that bad. Olivia's gonna be there. 644 00:44:14,198 --> 00:44:17,031 It's a perfect opportunity for me to lay some groundwork. 645 00:44:17,168 --> 00:44:19,864 Oh, Olivia's gonna be there. 646 00:44:20,004 --> 00:44:21,369 And my sister. 647 00:44:21,505 --> 00:44:24,133 And Monique. And you. 648 00:44:24,275 --> 00:44:26,209 And my mom. 649 00:44:26,344 --> 00:44:28,539 Great. 650 00:44:38,689 --> 00:44:40,589 Dunk toss. 651 00:44:40,725 --> 00:44:41,714 Hey, dude! 652 00:44:41,859 --> 00:44:43,986 I will cut you, man. 653 00:44:44,128 --> 00:44:47,029 I'll tell you the truth. I never really liked carnivals. 654 00:44:47,164 --> 00:44:52,101 Hey. I'm working the kissing booth. Come see me. 655 00:44:53,037 --> 00:44:55,938 I love carnivals, man. 656 00:44:56,073 --> 00:44:59,509 - Hey, Duke, where you going? - Where do you think I'm going? 657 00:45:03,047 --> 00:45:04,810 - What's up? - Oh, nothing. 658 00:45:04,949 --> 00:45:07,713 Just my psycho ex. I don't really wanna deal with her. 659 00:45:07,852 --> 00:45:11,618 So if you guys don't mind, I'm gonna lay low for a little while. 660 00:45:11,756 --> 00:45:14,953 - Cool. Catch you later. - OK. 661 00:45:15,092 --> 00:45:16,525 Up you go! 662 00:45:19,263 --> 00:45:22,027 I see a kitten... 663 00:45:22,166 --> 00:45:24,794 ...gasping for air. 664 00:45:28,272 --> 00:45:30,866 Sorry. Pretty urgent. 665 00:45:34,779 --> 00:45:36,770 It's all yours. 666 00:45:37,882 --> 00:45:39,543 Hi, Mom! 667 00:45:39,683 --> 00:45:43,244 You look like such a lady. It's a miracle. 668 00:45:43,387 --> 00:45:45,787 - It really is. - So Monique's getting you 669 00:45:45,923 --> 00:45:48,084 all excited about being a debutante? 670 00:45:48,225 --> 00:45:51,388 Super-duper excited. Have a good carnival. 671 00:45:51,529 --> 00:45:54,464 My little petunia. Where do you think you're going? 672 00:45:54,598 --> 00:45:56,793 You have the next shift at the kissing booth. 673 00:45:56,934 --> 00:45:59,402 And your brother's late for the cotton candy cart. 674 00:45:59,537 --> 00:46:02,506 I'm gonna go look for him. Bye. 675 00:46:05,910 --> 00:46:09,004 - Sorry. - Excuse you. 676 00:46:09,146 --> 00:46:12,274 - Wait, do I know you? - No. 677 00:46:12,416 --> 00:46:14,179 Excuse me. 678 00:46:14,318 --> 00:46:15,649 Viola! Hey, hey, hey. 679 00:46:15,786 --> 00:46:18,619 Where you been? I've been calling and calling. 680 00:46:18,756 --> 00:46:20,189 I miss you. We need to talk. 681 00:46:20,324 --> 00:46:22,690 We've talked, Justin. All the talking is done. 682 00:46:22,827 --> 00:46:26,524 Look, no one breaks up over a stupid soccer issue, OK? 683 00:46:26,664 --> 00:46:28,757 Can you just be a girl for five seconds? 684 00:46:28,899 --> 00:46:30,526 For five seconds? 685 00:46:30,668 --> 00:46:34,365 OK, first of all, it's not a stupid soccer issue, 686 00:46:34,505 --> 00:46:37,474 and you're a jerk. Oh, look at that! Time's up! 687 00:46:39,944 --> 00:46:43,107 Excuse me. Sorry. One, please. 688 00:47:18,649 --> 00:47:20,276 Stay in school. 689 00:47:29,827 --> 00:47:32,728 Sebastian? Sebastian! 690 00:47:32,863 --> 00:47:35,525 - Monique's behind me. - Where are you going? 691 00:47:35,666 --> 00:47:38,134 - We're on it. - Sebastian! 692 00:47:45,676 --> 00:47:48,941 Excuse me. No one over 8 years old is allowed inside the Moon Bounce. 693 00:47:49,079 --> 00:47:52,708 - I just saw my boyfriend go in there. - The correct term is "ex-boyfriend." 694 00:47:52,850 --> 00:47:55,876 No relationship is over until I say it is. Understand? 695 00:47:56,020 --> 00:47:58,511 You're still not getting on that Moon Bounce. 696 00:47:58,656 --> 00:48:00,180 Fine. 697 00:48:05,629 --> 00:48:08,689 - What's that? - Kia, don't look. 698 00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:11,160 God! 699 00:48:24,515 --> 00:48:27,780 - She's gone. - Thank you. 700 00:48:27,918 --> 00:48:30,682 - So are we having fun? - Oh, yeah, definitely. 701 00:48:34,758 --> 00:48:36,419 What do you think it will be like? 702 00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:38,323 Duke, you look at me. 703 00:48:38,462 --> 00:48:41,260 I know it's gonna be really, really special. 704 00:48:42,700 --> 00:48:45,464 I mean, she's only kissed like 350 guys at this point. 705 00:48:45,603 --> 00:48:48,094 I just think we need to acknowledge the moment. 706 00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:52,539 After four years, Duke is finally gonna fulfill his destiny. 707 00:48:52,676 --> 00:48:57,704 Life is good. Life is fair. Life is just. 708 00:48:57,848 --> 00:48:59,315 Hi, I'm your relief. 709 00:48:59,450 --> 00:49:01,645 - And yet... - Thank God. 710 00:49:01,785 --> 00:49:03,150 I can't catch a break. 711 00:49:03,287 --> 00:49:08,247 Beware of the old guy chewing gum. It's not gum. 712 00:49:09,893 --> 00:49:13,294 - Do I know you? - No. 713 00:49:15,065 --> 00:49:16,532 That's just my luck. 714 00:49:16,667 --> 00:49:19,158 No. No, no, no. I mean, I didn't mean it like that. 715 00:49:19,303 --> 00:49:23,330 It's just, you k she's, you know... No. OK. 716 00:49:23,474 --> 00:49:27,376 I mean, on the other hand, you're, you know, also... 717 00:49:27,511 --> 00:49:31,277 - I am? Thanks, I guess. - Yeah. 718 00:49:31,415 --> 00:49:34,942 You don't have to flirt with her first, genius. You're paying for it. 719 00:49:35,085 --> 00:49:39,886 Why don't you just... relax. 720 00:49:41,792 --> 00:49:43,555 Maybe I should kiss you now. 721 00:49:43,694 --> 00:49:47,630 I gave that girl my ticket, and I waited in line. 722 00:49:47,765 --> 00:49:51,166 Well, it's the least I can do. 723 00:49:54,938 --> 00:49:57,270 OK. Here I go. 724 00:50:10,654 --> 00:50:12,588 OK, I think that was one ticket's worth. 725 00:50:12,723 --> 00:50:14,384 No, you get a little bit more. 726 00:50:14,525 --> 00:50:17,187 Excuse me. The motel's across the street. 727 00:50:17,328 --> 00:50:20,525 - Viola, what the hell is this?! - Back of the line, buttball. 728 00:50:20,664 --> 00:50:24,498 Excuse me, doofus. You're making out with my girlfriend. 729 00:50:24,635 --> 00:50:26,500 Ex-girlfriend. 730 00:50:26,637 --> 00:50:28,537 Whoa, you're Sebastian's sister? 731 00:50:28,672 --> 00:50:30,833 And you're about to die. 732 00:50:30,974 --> 00:50:32,737 Are you gonna drown me in your tears? 733 00:50:32,876 --> 00:50:35,242 I did not cry. I had something in my eye. 734 00:50:35,379 --> 00:50:37,745 You know what, guys? Can we just dial it down? 735 00:50:37,881 --> 00:50:40,714 And just step away, OK? 736 00:50:40,851 --> 00:50:43,149 She's right. I'll see you on the soccer field, 737 00:50:43,287 --> 00:50:45,585 and we'll settle this all then. 738 00:50:45,723 --> 00:50:47,554 OK, Duke. 739 00:50:47,691 --> 00:50:50,751 Or we can straighten it out right here. 740 00:50:50,894 --> 00:50:52,953 Justin! Stop it! Guys! 741 00:50:57,267 --> 00:50:59,235 Stop it! Justin! 742 00:50:59,370 --> 00:51:01,395 Guys! Stop it! 743 00:51:04,675 --> 00:51:08,406 Justin, get off! 744 00:51:18,589 --> 00:51:21,149 Where's my daughter?! 745 00:51:21,291 --> 00:51:23,225 Excuse me. I'm so sorry. 746 00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:26,887 Viola! Stop! This isn't ladylike. 747 00:51:27,030 --> 00:51:29,590 There is no room for violence here! 748 00:51:29,733 --> 00:51:34,136 This is a lovely children's carnival, goddamn it! 749 00:51:34,271 --> 00:51:36,899 Both of you, out! Now! 750 00:51:41,712 --> 00:51:44,078 Where were you at today? You just disappeared. 751 00:51:44,214 --> 00:51:47,274 Ran into my psycho ex. Had to bolt. 752 00:51:47,418 --> 00:51:49,443 Oh, my God! Is that a? 753 00:51:49,586 --> 00:51:52,487 What? Yeah. 754 00:51:52,623 --> 00:51:56,753 I hope you don't mind. I kind of borrowed one of your... 755 00:51:56,894 --> 00:52:00,125 Yeah. And you're right, by the way. These things actually work. 756 00:52:00,264 --> 00:52:02,357 Oh, my God, you're bleeding. Are you OK? 757 00:52:04,134 --> 00:52:08,195 I mean, suck it up! Be a man! Rub some dirt in it! 758 00:52:08,338 --> 00:52:11,466 OK, I'll rub some dirt on it. 759 00:52:11,608 --> 00:52:14,873 So, what happened? 760 00:52:15,012 --> 00:52:17,037 I got into it with your sister's ex. 761 00:52:17,181 --> 00:52:20,673 Wait. Really? Why? 762 00:52:20,818 --> 00:52:25,619 He saw me and her kind of making out at the kissing booth. 763 00:52:25,756 --> 00:52:28,486 Wait. You kissed her? 764 00:52:28,625 --> 00:52:31,219 Yeah, man, I'm... I hope that's OK. 765 00:52:31,361 --> 00:52:33,329 It was for charity. 766 00:52:33,464 --> 00:52:36,399 Oh, no, I mean, dude, I mean, 767 00:52:36,533 --> 00:52:40,333 if you want to kiss her, you go right ahead and you kiss her! 768 00:52:40,471 --> 00:52:41,836 I mean, knock yourself out. 769 00:52:41,972 --> 00:52:45,408 I mean, you just... you take her and then kiss her 770 00:52:45,542 --> 00:52:47,066 and kiss the crap out of her! 771 00:52:47,978 --> 00:52:49,639 OK. 772 00:52:53,717 --> 00:52:56,015 So... 773 00:52:56,153 --> 00:52:57,484 ...do you like her? 774 00:52:57,621 --> 00:53:00,920 I don't know. Can we not talk about this? 775 00:53:01,058 --> 00:53:03,253 She's your sister. It's kind of weird. 776 00:53:03,393 --> 00:53:05,520 No. Right. Right. 777 00:53:05,662 --> 00:53:10,292 Just... You know, I was just thinking that, 778 00:53:10,434 --> 00:53:13,028 if you liked her then... 779 00:53:13,170 --> 00:53:15,570 ...maybe you should ask her out. 780 00:53:15,706 --> 00:53:19,039 And just, I don't know, forget about Olivia? 781 00:53:19,176 --> 00:53:23,840 Well, I mean, speaking as a completely objective 782 00:53:23,981 --> 00:53:28,475 third-party outsider with absolutely no personal interest in the matter, 783 00:53:28,619 --> 00:53:32,453 I am not sure that you and Olivia 784 00:53:32,589 --> 00:53:35,387 really mesh well together. You know? I mean... 785 00:53:35,526 --> 00:53:38,723 But you and Viola... 786 00:53:38,862 --> 00:53:41,057 ...I mean... 787 00:53:41,198 --> 00:53:42,529 ...be magic. 788 00:53:42,666 --> 00:53:44,258 I don't know. 789 00:53:44,401 --> 00:53:46,961 What does your heart tell you? 790 00:53:47,104 --> 00:53:50,096 I mean, which one would you rather see naked?! 791 00:53:50,240 --> 00:53:53,232 Why do you? Why? Why do you always do that? 792 00:53:53,377 --> 00:53:56,403 Why do you always talk about girls in such graphic terms? 793 00:53:58,215 --> 00:54:00,410 You know what? You... you have issues. 794 00:54:00,551 --> 00:54:04,351 You're a really sensitive guy, aren't you? 795 00:54:04,488 --> 00:54:07,787 What? No. No, it's just... 796 00:54:09,326 --> 00:54:11,851 I don't know. I just think that 797 00:54:11,995 --> 00:54:16,193 relationships should be more than just the physical stuff. 798 00:54:16,333 --> 00:54:18,858 Don't get me wrong, that stuff's important, 799 00:54:19,002 --> 00:54:20,799 but when I'm with someone, 800 00:54:20,938 --> 00:54:24,533 I want to be able to talk about other stuff. 801 00:54:24,675 --> 00:54:27,701 Like, I don't know, serious stuff. 802 00:54:27,844 --> 00:54:31,575 Stuff I can't talk about, you know, with anyone else. 803 00:54:34,518 --> 00:54:36,611 Yeah, like... 804 00:54:37,788 --> 00:54:39,449 ...what kind of stuff? 805 00:54:40,457 --> 00:54:42,721 I don't know, just stuff. 806 00:54:42,859 --> 00:54:46,192 Like, whatever stuff there is. 807 00:54:46,330 --> 00:54:49,857 Like... this kind of stuff? 808 00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:53,367 Yeah. 809 00:54:53,503 --> 00:54:56,063 But what I just told you is for your ears only. 810 00:54:56,206 --> 00:55:00,040 If you tell anyone, I'll kick your ass. 811 00:55:03,413 --> 00:55:05,506 Yeah. No. 812 00:55:05,649 --> 00:55:08,777 I got your back, man. 813 00:55:08,919 --> 00:55:11,888 It's cool. 814 00:56:25,829 --> 00:56:27,160 How's your sister? 815 00:56:31,268 --> 00:56:33,498 Good. Why? 816 00:56:34,504 --> 00:56:36,529 I don't know. 817 00:56:36,673 --> 00:56:39,801 I kind of was thinking I might ask if she wanted 818 00:56:39,943 --> 00:56:41,968 to grab dinner at Cesario's tonight. 819 00:56:42,112 --> 00:56:45,741 You were? Really? I'd love to. 820 00:56:45,882 --> 00:56:46,871 What? 821 00:56:47,017 --> 00:56:49,281 I'd love to give her your phone number. 822 00:56:49,419 --> 00:56:51,319 Hastings! 823 00:56:51,455 --> 00:56:52,854 Yeah, coach? 824 00:56:54,524 --> 00:56:56,822 You're first string for the Cornwall game. 825 00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:58,052 - Really? - No. 826 00:56:58,195 --> 00:57:01,028 I was joking, you idiot. 827 00:57:03,233 --> 00:57:05,224 Dude, that's awesome. 828 00:57:09,506 --> 00:57:11,167 Dude. 829 00:57:13,910 --> 00:57:16,777 - So, you want me to spot you? - No. 830 00:57:16,913 --> 00:57:19,939 - Isn't he cute? - Duke? Yeah. 831 00:57:20,083 --> 00:57:23,177 No. Sebastian. He's so cool. 832 00:57:25,088 --> 00:57:26,612 But he said I'm not his type. 833 00:57:26,757 --> 00:57:29,351 - Impossible. You're everyone's type. - Not his. 834 00:57:29,493 --> 00:57:33,452 I could tell you what us mere mortals would do in this situation. 835 00:57:33,597 --> 00:57:35,861 - What? - Make him jealous. 836 00:57:35,999 --> 00:57:39,025 So, what do you do? You just pretend to like somebody else? 837 00:57:39,169 --> 00:57:42,070 And then use him shamelessly. 838 00:57:42,606 --> 00:57:43,800 Wow. 839 00:57:46,176 --> 00:57:49,373 So, you should call Viola up. 840 00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:52,311 Yeah. I think I will. 841 00:57:54,584 --> 00:57:55,608 Hey, Duke. 842 00:57:55,752 --> 00:57:59,017 - Sebastian. - Olivia. 843 00:57:59,156 --> 00:58:00,453 Olivia. 844 00:58:00,590 --> 00:58:02,820 What're you bench-pressing these days? 845 00:58:02,959 --> 00:58:06,122 225. Very impressive. 846 00:58:06,263 --> 00:58:07,787 Thanks. 847 00:58:07,931 --> 00:58:11,162 So, Duke, about that call that you were gonna make. 848 00:58:11,301 --> 00:58:13,496 - You gonna make that? - Yeah. Thank you. 849 00:58:13,637 --> 00:58:16,299 So how many reps can you do with that 225? 850 00:58:16,439 --> 00:58:19,670 Like 20... 20. 851 00:58:19,810 --> 00:58:22,973 225 is more than twice what I weigh. 852 00:58:23,113 --> 00:58:25,172 How many reps could you do with me? 853 00:58:27,250 --> 00:58:28,410 Forty. 854 00:58:34,825 --> 00:58:35,883 Hello? 855 00:58:36,026 --> 00:58:37,254 Hi, it's Viola. 856 00:58:37,394 --> 00:58:40,329 Sebastian told me to call you. 857 00:58:40,463 --> 00:58:43,591 - I'd love to go to dinner. - Yeah. What? 858 00:58:43,733 --> 00:58:46,463 Can I call you back? 859 00:58:46,603 --> 00:58:49,367 Because I gotta... 860 00:58:49,506 --> 00:58:51,838 ...change my feet. 861 00:58:51,975 --> 00:58:55,536 So, do you have any plans tonight? 862 00:58:57,948 --> 00:58:59,040 My bad. 863 00:58:59,182 --> 00:59:02,913 What about the thing that we talked about that you were going to do later? 864 00:59:03,053 --> 00:59:04,645 What thing? I'm thingless. 865 00:59:04,788 --> 00:59:08,485 Great! Then it's a date. Cesario's, 8:00. 866 00:59:08,625 --> 00:59:10,388 - I'll see you there. - OK. 867 00:59:11,962 --> 00:59:14,055 - Bye, Sebastian. - Later. 868 00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:18,731 Yeah! 869 00:59:19,970 --> 00:59:21,164 You did it. 870 00:59:21,304 --> 00:59:23,499 I'm goin' out with Olivia. 871 00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:26,108 What the hell?! I thought you liked Viola now! 872 00:59:26,243 --> 00:59:29,144 Dude, come on. You're a guy. 873 00:59:29,279 --> 00:59:33,045 What would you do if the hottest girl in the school 874 00:59:33,183 --> 00:59:37,620 came up to you and asked you on a date? 875 00:59:37,754 --> 00:59:39,221 I'll be right back. 876 00:59:39,356 --> 00:59:42,519 Olivia? Hi. Can I talk to you for a second? 877 00:59:42,659 --> 00:59:44,524 Moi? Whatever for? 878 00:59:44,661 --> 00:59:46,356 It's about your date with Duke. 879 00:59:46,496 --> 00:59:50,865 I know! I am so glad I listened to you. You're right. He's awesome. 880 00:59:51,001 --> 00:59:55,062 And he looked so good in those shorts. 881 00:59:56,606 --> 00:59:59,473 He's not a piece of meat, Olivia. 882 00:59:59,609 --> 01:00:02,476 He's a man. A man with feelings. 883 01:00:02,612 --> 01:00:05,046 And I'm a woman with feelings. 884 01:00:05,181 --> 01:00:08,048 And my feelings seem to match his. 885 01:00:08,184 --> 01:00:10,550 You know what? 886 01:00:10,687 --> 01:00:14,145 Speaking as a completely objective third-party observer 887 01:00:14,291 --> 01:00:17,055 with absolutely no personal interest in the matter, 888 01:00:17,193 --> 01:00:20,993 I'm not so sure that you and Duke are a good idea after all. 889 01:00:21,131 --> 01:00:22,792 Well, thank you for your concern. 890 01:00:22,933 --> 01:00:26,664 And if you're so worried, maybe you should come to Cesario's tonight, 891 01:00:26,803 --> 01:00:30,762 just to keep an eye on me. We could double. 892 01:00:30,907 --> 01:00:33,034 I bet Eunice is available. 893 01:00:34,411 --> 01:00:38,370 I'm so there, it's insane. 894 01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:54,496 So do you like... cheese? 895 01:00:59,402 --> 01:01:02,860 - Hey, you two, what's going on? - You're here... 896 01:01:03,006 --> 01:01:05,201 ...with Eunice. 897 01:01:05,342 --> 01:01:06,366 Mind if we join? 898 01:01:06,509 --> 01:01:08,033 - No. Sit down. - No, no, no. 899 01:01:08,178 --> 01:01:10,339 Lady pterodactyl. 900 01:01:11,848 --> 01:01:13,679 Waiter! 901 01:01:15,018 --> 01:01:16,144 Help. 902 01:01:19,723 --> 01:01:20,985 So... 903 01:01:21,124 --> 01:01:23,490 ...I was just telling Duke how great it is 904 01:01:23,626 --> 01:01:26,151 to meet a real man at this school. 905 01:01:26,296 --> 01:01:28,230 You were? 906 01:01:28,365 --> 01:01:30,390 Well, I was just about to. 907 01:01:30,533 --> 01:01:32,933 Isn't it great to have a real man around, Eunice? 908 01:01:33,069 --> 01:01:35,503 Oh, yes. 909 01:01:35,638 --> 01:01:38,129 A real man is difficult to find. 910 01:01:41,311 --> 01:01:42,778 So difficult. 911 01:01:42,912 --> 01:01:46,848 Sebastian's with Eunice. She must be hotter than I thought. 912 01:01:46,983 --> 01:01:49,850 How come when I wanted to ask out Eunice everyone made fun? 913 01:01:49,986 --> 01:01:52,113 Sebastian likes her, suddenly she's cool? 914 01:01:52,255 --> 01:01:53,984 Screw you guys. I hate high school. 915 01:01:55,892 --> 01:01:58,861 Eunice! Hands! 916 01:01:58,995 --> 01:02:02,328 You know what? This has been real fun, but I have to go... 917 01:02:03,666 --> 01:02:05,634 ...shave. 918 01:02:06,636 --> 01:02:08,001 OK. 919 01:02:09,672 --> 01:02:13,574 Well, this has been lovely. Let's do it again sometime. 920 01:02:13,710 --> 01:02:17,077 - What? - Soon. Bye. 921 01:02:19,115 --> 01:02:21,015 So... 922 01:02:22,619 --> 01:02:24,644 ...do you like cheese? 923 01:02:24,788 --> 01:02:29,316 More than almost any other animal byproduct. 924 01:02:29,459 --> 01:02:31,927 Yeah, check please. 925 01:02:32,062 --> 01:02:33,552 Hey Monique, it's Sebastian. 926 01:02:33,696 --> 01:02:35,891 I don't know if Viola told you I'm in London, 927 01:02:36,032 --> 01:02:38,227 but I'm heading home a day early. 928 01:02:38,368 --> 01:02:40,893 Listen, I've been thinking, 929 01:02:41,037 --> 01:02:44,473 and we really need to talk. 930 01:02:44,607 --> 01:02:46,572 Ladies... 931 01:02:46,709 --> 01:02:48,370 Ladies... 932 01:02:49,546 --> 01:02:50,843 Welcome. 933 01:02:50,980 --> 01:02:54,916 My name is Cheryl Lancaster, president of the Stratford Junior League 934 01:02:55,051 --> 01:02:58,509 and coordinator of this year's debutante season. 935 01:02:58,655 --> 01:02:59,917 Oh, please. 936 01:03:00,056 --> 01:03:02,854 Thank you. Today we're gonna go over the guidelines 937 01:03:02,992 --> 01:03:08,123 for a graceful, ladylike entrée into society. 938 01:03:09,399 --> 01:03:12,630 Son of a... 939 01:03:13,336 --> 01:03:14,598 Hello. 940 01:03:14,737 --> 01:03:17,171 Hello there. 941 01:03:21,945 --> 01:03:23,708 - Hi. - Make sure she's in the back 942 01:03:23,847 --> 01:03:24,973 for the group photo. 943 01:03:25,115 --> 01:03:28,312 Thank you for joining us, Viola. 944 01:03:28,451 --> 01:03:31,386 Now, who's ready to come out? 945 01:03:31,521 --> 01:03:32,647 Kill me. 946 01:03:51,207 --> 01:03:53,732 Viola? Darling. 947 01:03:53,877 --> 01:03:57,870 Remember, chew like you have a secret. 948 01:04:05,488 --> 01:04:07,854 Excuse me. 949 01:04:10,093 --> 01:04:11,685 Ladies. 950 01:04:24,507 --> 01:04:27,203 - Hi. - Hey. 951 01:04:27,343 --> 01:04:30,710 Hey! You're the one that saved me in the kissing booth that one time? 952 01:04:30,847 --> 01:04:33,372 - Hi. - Hi. 953 01:04:33,516 --> 01:04:36,451 Oh, what a small world. I'm Viola. 954 01:04:36,586 --> 01:04:37,678 Olivia. 955 01:04:37,820 --> 01:04:39,845 - Nice to meet you. - You too. 956 01:04:43,960 --> 01:04:45,894 So... 957 01:04:46,029 --> 01:04:47,724 I know it's none of my business, 958 01:04:47,864 --> 01:04:50,298 but you went out with that Duke Orsino guy, right? 959 01:04:50,433 --> 01:04:53,834 Yeah. Once. 960 01:04:53,970 --> 01:04:56,200 - Did you kiss him? - No, why? 961 01:04:56,339 --> 01:04:59,740 Oh, no. It's nothing, but... 962 01:04:59,876 --> 01:05:02,401 Just try to postpone it as long as possible. 963 01:05:02,545 --> 01:05:06,276 He has this salivary gland condition. 964 01:05:06,416 --> 01:05:10,512 Yeah. He doesn't really like to talk about it, 965 01:05:10,653 --> 01:05:12,848 but it felt like I was drowning. 966 01:05:12,989 --> 01:05:14,320 Really? 967 01:05:15,491 --> 01:05:18,858 - Oh, my God. - I know. It was repulsive. 968 01:05:18,995 --> 01:05:21,793 But, hey, every happiness to you both. 969 01:05:21,931 --> 01:05:26,231 No, actually, I don't really like Duke. 970 01:05:28,404 --> 01:05:31,168 I have this huge thing for his roommate, Sebastian. 971 01:05:31,307 --> 01:05:35,266 And I was just trying to make Sebastian jealous. 972 01:05:42,619 --> 01:05:43,950 Oh, boy. 973 01:05:44,087 --> 01:05:47,215 Yeah, I know it's really wrong to use a person this way, 974 01:05:47,357 --> 01:05:49,917 and I feel really terrible about it. 975 01:05:50,059 --> 01:05:52,118 But I really, really like Sebastian. 976 01:05:52,262 --> 01:05:53,991 He's so handsome, 977 01:05:54,130 --> 01:05:56,621 not the goonish handsome you see in a lot of guys. 978 01:05:56,766 --> 01:06:00,998 He's a delicate, like, even refined handsome, you know? 979 01:06:01,137 --> 01:06:06,165 Oh, and when he smiles, I just can't stop looking at him. 980 01:06:06,309 --> 01:06:09,369 He's just so wonderful. 981 01:06:09,512 --> 01:06:12,003 You know, Olivia... 982 01:06:12,148 --> 01:06:13,672 - It's Olivia, right? - Yeah. 983 01:06:13,816 --> 01:06:17,047 I'm gonna give you just a little advice. 984 01:06:17,186 --> 01:06:18,983 - OK. - Enough is enough! 985 01:06:19,122 --> 01:06:22,990 You are weaving a really tangled web. 986 01:06:23,126 --> 01:06:24,616 Like really, really tangled. 987 01:06:24,761 --> 01:06:27,958 And, honey... you got to stop! 988 01:06:28,097 --> 01:06:30,691 OK? So you just gotta tell everybody the truth. 989 01:06:30,833 --> 01:06:32,232 Be very, very honest. 990 01:06:32,368 --> 01:06:35,701 Just let the chips fall where they may. 991 01:06:35,838 --> 01:06:37,169 - You're right. - I know. 992 01:06:37,307 --> 01:06:40,037 The next time I see Sebastian I'll march right up to him. 993 01:06:40,176 --> 01:06:42,235 - You march! - And I'll tell him how I feel. 994 01:06:42,378 --> 01:06:43,572 You tell him. 995 01:06:43,713 --> 01:06:45,647 Then I'll kiss him so passionately, 996 01:06:45,782 --> 01:06:48,979 that even the people he hates will feel pleasure. 997 01:06:51,287 --> 01:06:52,515 Hello, Viola. 998 01:06:52,655 --> 01:06:54,486 Oh, this is not good. 999 01:06:54,624 --> 01:06:57,354 And hello to you, you little homewrecker. 1000 01:06:57,493 --> 01:07:01,190 - Who are you? - I am Sebastian's girlfriend. 1001 01:07:01,331 --> 01:07:02,821 Ex-girlfriend. 1002 01:07:02,965 --> 01:07:05,160 OK, everybody's got to stop saying that. 1003 01:07:05,301 --> 01:07:08,327 You were the one he dumped in the pizza parlor the other day. 1004 01:07:08,471 --> 01:07:11,167 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He did not dump me. 1005 01:07:11,307 --> 01:07:13,935 We're just going through a little bit of a rough patch. 1006 01:07:14,077 --> 01:07:17,205 I heard he dumped you. He dumped you big. 1007 01:07:17,347 --> 01:07:20,714 It was just like a big, huge dumping. 1008 01:07:29,826 --> 01:07:31,953 Are you crazy?! Are you OK? 1009 01:07:32,095 --> 01:07:33,687 Get out! 1010 01:07:35,598 --> 01:07:38,032 You are messing with the wrong man! 1011 01:07:44,173 --> 01:07:47,631 Get off me! Get off of me! 1012 01:08:14,137 --> 01:08:15,570 - Get off of her! - Let go of me! 1013 01:08:15,705 --> 01:08:18,902 Ladies! Ladies, stop! 1014 01:08:19,041 --> 01:08:20,736 Please! 1015 01:08:23,813 --> 01:08:28,546 When debutantes disagree they say it with their eyes. 1016 01:08:30,319 --> 01:08:31,911 Well, Hastings. 1017 01:08:32,054 --> 01:08:35,649 Why is it that I always find you in the middle of a tussle? 1018 01:08:37,326 --> 01:08:39,021 Bad timing? 1019 01:08:39,162 --> 01:08:41,187 I am convinced he's hiding something. 1020 01:08:41,330 --> 01:08:45,027 Nonsense, Malcolm. He may be a little lost and confused, 1021 01:08:45,168 --> 01:08:49,264 but deep down he's an all-American, red-blooded male. 1022 01:08:49,405 --> 01:08:51,498 - Just like yourself. - Mom, I will pick out 1023 01:08:51,641 --> 01:08:54,371 my own dress. And no, I will not wear heels. 1024 01:08:54,510 --> 01:08:57,138 Because heels are a male invention 1025 01:08:57,280 --> 01:09:00,477 designed to make a woman's butt look smaller. 1026 01:09:00,616 --> 01:09:03,449 And to make it harder for them to run away. 1027 01:09:08,791 --> 01:09:12,921 Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels? 1028 01:09:13,062 --> 01:09:16,122 - No, sir, I wouldn't... - Not that easy. Not that easy. 1029 01:09:27,877 --> 01:09:30,607 Don't forget your guitar, Mr. Hastings. 1030 01:09:30,746 --> 01:09:34,477 Just do it. Just close your eyes and kiss him. 1031 01:09:40,623 --> 01:09:42,591 Sebastian. 1032 01:09:46,762 --> 01:09:49,287 "Wake up. I've been waiting for you to open your eyes 1033 01:09:49,432 --> 01:09:51,127 so I can tell you I think I'm ready. 1034 01:09:51,267 --> 01:09:54,031 I'm ready to free-fall into the unknown." 1035 01:09:54,170 --> 01:09:56,661 I'll see you at the game tomorrow. 1036 01:10:02,178 --> 01:10:04,646 I think I'm gonna like this school. 1037 01:10:11,854 --> 01:10:13,549 Monique, it's Sebastian. 1038 01:10:13,689 --> 01:10:15,884 I don't know if V told you I'm in London, 1039 01:10:16,025 --> 01:10:18,152 but I'm heading home a day early. 1040 01:10:18,294 --> 01:10:21,730 Listen, I've been think We really need to talk. 1041 01:10:21,864 --> 01:10:24,833 London? 1042 01:10:28,471 --> 01:10:31,201 Hey, brother. Dinklage was looking for you, man. 1043 01:10:32,575 --> 01:10:36,409 Dude. Hello! 1044 01:10:36,546 --> 01:10:39,515 You know, it's... crazy 1045 01:10:39,649 --> 01:10:42,413 how wrong you can be about a person. 1046 01:10:42,552 --> 01:10:45,715 It's crazy. 1047 01:10:46,589 --> 01:10:48,352 You think they're one thing, 1048 01:10:48,491 --> 01:10:51,927 and then they turn out to be the exact opposite. 1049 01:10:52,061 --> 01:10:54,928 - What are you talking about? - You're gonna sit there 1050 01:10:55,046 --> 01:10:57,558 and act like you don't know what I'm talking about? 1051 01:10:57,559 --> 01:10:58,558 and act like you don't know what I'm talking about? 1052 01:11:00,903 --> 01:11:02,700 OK. 1053 01:11:02,838 --> 01:11:05,500 All right. OK. 1054 01:11:07,510 --> 01:11:10,035 I wanted to tell you, Duke, but... 1055 01:11:10,179 --> 01:11:12,204 ...you have to know... 1056 01:11:12,348 --> 01:11:15,340 ...I love soccer more than anything else in the world, 1057 01:11:15,484 --> 01:11:16,849 and I had a point to prove. 1058 01:11:16,986 --> 01:11:19,454 What?! So you're telling me that you used me 1059 01:11:19,589 --> 01:11:20,886 to help you with soccer, 1060 01:11:21,023 --> 01:11:23,287 and then you turn around and stab me in the back? 1061 01:11:23,426 --> 01:11:26,862 Wait, what? Now I really don't know what you're talking about. 1062 01:11:26,996 --> 01:11:29,089 Save it, man. I saw you with her. 1063 01:11:29,231 --> 01:11:32,098 - With who?! - Who?! Olivia, that's who! 1064 01:11:32,234 --> 01:11:34,862 - You kissed when you got out the cab! - What cab?! 1065 01:11:35,004 --> 01:11:37,336 - We were supposed to be friends! - We are! 1066 01:11:37,473 --> 01:11:41,500 - You don't know the meaning! - Olivia never liked you, OK?! 1067 01:11:41,644 --> 01:11:44,340 She was just using you to make me jealous. 1068 01:11:44,480 --> 01:11:46,414 But Viola, she's crazy about you, 1069 01:11:46,549 --> 01:11:48,983 since the first moment that you kissed her. 1070 01:11:49,118 --> 01:11:52,554 I bet that's part of your plan. Distract me so you can move in to Olivia. 1071 01:11:52,688 --> 01:11:56,749 - That is not what happened! - You and your sister have a good life! 1072 01:12:00,563 --> 01:12:03,430 "The Hastings twins couldn't be more opposite." 1073 01:12:04,433 --> 01:12:06,458 - Twins? - Sebastian? 1074 01:12:06,602 --> 01:12:09,127 Sebastian? 1075 01:12:09,271 --> 01:12:11,034 Sebastian, open up! 1076 01:12:11,173 --> 01:12:13,801 It's Monique! You have got a lot of explaining to do, 1077 01:12:13,943 --> 01:12:16,377 followed by a very long night of groveling! 1078 01:12:16,512 --> 01:12:18,742 He's not here! 1079 01:12:21,317 --> 01:12:25,481 Take his stupid cell phone. Justine calls every ten seconds. 1080 01:12:29,025 --> 01:12:30,925 This isn't Sebastian's phone. 1081 01:12:31,861 --> 01:12:34,762 God! Sebastian! 1082 01:12:34,897 --> 01:12:37,627 - Sebastian! - Can I help you? 1083 01:12:41,037 --> 01:12:42,902 - He - Viola. Hey, baby. 1084 01:12:43,039 --> 01:12:45,701 It's Justin. You k the big game is tomorrow and... 1085 01:12:45,841 --> 01:12:47,832 Viola. 1086 01:12:47,977 --> 01:12:50,537 Allow me to introduce myself. 1087 01:12:50,680 --> 01:12:54,673 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007... 1088 01:12:54,817 --> 01:12:58,253 Nice night...2008. 1089 01:12:58,387 --> 01:13:00,548 Hey, Eunice. 1090 01:13:02,591 --> 01:13:04,354 Sorry about running out on our date. 1091 01:13:04,493 --> 01:13:09,192 That's OK. My intensity scares some people. 1092 01:13:09,331 --> 01:13:11,356 Yeah. 1093 01:13:11,500 --> 01:13:13,695 Is something wrong? 1094 01:13:13,836 --> 01:13:16,532 Got thrown out of my room. 1095 01:13:16,672 --> 01:13:20,540 You mean... you need a place to sleep? 1096 01:13:20,676 --> 01:13:24,703 I really do. The Cornwall game is tomorrow. 1097 01:13:24,847 --> 01:13:27,782 I've never had a roommate before. 1098 01:13:39,028 --> 01:13:42,725 Wow. Vi, you set up all my stuff. 1099 01:13:42,865 --> 01:13:44,856 Thanks. 1100 01:14:06,956 --> 01:14:11,393 - You're absolutely certain about this? - Yes, sir, we are. 1101 01:14:12,194 --> 01:14:15,527 - Dude, what are you doing?! - Sebastian, the game's about to start! 1102 01:14:15,664 --> 01:14:18,497 Get out of bed and get over to the soccer field, man! 1103 01:14:20,503 --> 01:14:22,494 The soccer game? 1104 01:14:23,539 --> 01:14:25,598 That's what that girl was talking about. 1105 01:14:27,843 --> 01:14:30,971 Sebastian! You're next. Hurry up. 1106 01:14:31,113 --> 01:14:33,172 Come over here, and I'll do you. 1107 01:14:37,653 --> 01:14:40,315 OK, ladies, listen up. 1108 01:14:40,456 --> 01:14:41,718 Where's Hastings? 1109 01:14:48,531 --> 01:14:49,520 Euni... 1110 01:14:49,665 --> 01:14:51,690 Eunice! Why didn't you wake me?! 1111 01:14:51,834 --> 01:14:54,302 You looked so serene. 1112 01:14:56,038 --> 01:14:58,302 I made breakfast, darling. 1113 01:15:07,149 --> 01:15:10,016 Pardon me. Pardon me. 1114 01:15:15,324 --> 01:15:19,351 What is the big emergency? I canceled my squash game for this. 1115 01:15:19,495 --> 01:15:21,963 I don't know. All that Principal Gold said 1116 01:15:22,097 --> 01:15:25,624 was that we were needed at Sebastian's soccer game. 1117 01:15:30,172 --> 01:15:33,198 Hasn't Viola said anything to you the past couple of weeks? 1118 01:15:33,342 --> 01:15:35,469 How should I know? 1119 01:15:35,611 --> 01:15:38,603 She's been living with you. 1120 01:15:39,849 --> 01:15:41,680 Hasn't she? 1121 01:15:43,185 --> 01:15:45,517 - Excuse me. - This is so exciting, guys. 1122 01:16:09,078 --> 01:16:10,978 Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. 1123 01:16:11,113 --> 01:16:13,547 The biggest rivalry in our district is afoot. 1124 01:16:13,682 --> 01:16:15,047 Illyria versus Cornwall. 1125 01:16:15,184 --> 01:16:18,085 It's gonna be something else, and the atmosphere is crazy! 1126 01:16:19,989 --> 01:16:21,388 Afternoon, gentlemen. 1127 01:16:24,827 --> 01:16:26,488 Handshake, please. 1128 01:16:31,100 --> 01:16:33,000 All right, your call. 1129 01:16:34,236 --> 01:16:35,703 Heads. 1130 01:16:37,239 --> 01:16:38,228 Heads it is. 1131 01:16:38,374 --> 01:16:40,274 We'll stay as we are. 1132 01:16:40,409 --> 01:16:43,003 Good game, gentlemen. 1133 01:16:43,145 --> 01:16:45,170 How's your jaw? 1134 01:16:52,521 --> 01:16:54,785 All right, let's get it on! 1135 01:16:54,924 --> 01:16:56,118 Way to go, boys. 1136 01:16:56,258 --> 01:16:58,556 Listen to me. We can do this. Today is the day 1137 01:16:58,694 --> 01:17:00,491 - Cornwall beats Illyria. - Yeah! 1138 01:17:00,629 --> 01:17:02,324 I ain't got much to say to you. 1139 01:17:02,464 --> 01:17:06,025 - Who's gonna bring blood and pain?! - Black and red! 1140 01:17:06,168 --> 01:17:08,602 - This ain't no game. This is a war! - Yeah! 1141 01:17:08,737 --> 01:17:10,967 Who's gonna bring that blood and pain?! 1142 01:17:11,106 --> 01:17:14,269 One, two, three! Cornwall! 1143 01:17:19,481 --> 01:17:21,142 All right, boys, here we go! 1144 01:17:31,093 --> 01:17:35,462 Hastings! Pass it off! Pass it off! Hastings! 1145 01:17:35,597 --> 01:17:37,622 What in the hell is going on?! 1146 01:17:37,766 --> 01:17:39,495 Nice move, moron. 1147 01:17:42,838 --> 01:17:44,703 What? 1148 01:17:44,840 --> 01:17:47,001 This can't be happening. 1149 01:17:57,386 --> 01:17:59,980 Sebastian? 1150 01:18:05,561 --> 01:18:07,529 Get the ball! Get the ball! 1151 01:18:07,663 --> 01:18:09,563 Get up, get back in there! Get the ball! 1152 01:18:09,698 --> 01:18:11,359 Oh, my God, this is my game! 1153 01:18:11,500 --> 01:18:13,593 What the hell am I doing? This isn't fun. 1154 01:18:13,736 --> 01:18:15,397 You look like Bambi on ice, boy! 1155 01:18:15,537 --> 01:18:17,129 Sebastian! 1156 01:18:18,807 --> 01:18:19,831 Sebastian! 1157 01:18:24,413 --> 01:18:28,873 Can I get a timeout, please? A pause? One brief halftime? 1158 01:18:29,018 --> 01:18:31,509 Stopping the clock. That's it. Stop the clock. 1159 01:18:31,653 --> 01:18:33,211 What the? 1160 01:18:33,355 --> 01:18:35,516 I don't know the technical lingo. 1161 01:18:35,657 --> 01:18:38,217 Armadillos. Fighting Armadillos, please. 1162 01:18:38,360 --> 01:18:40,089 I need... Gather around. 1163 01:18:40,229 --> 01:18:42,424 I played soccer as a young man. Was it chess? 1164 01:18:42,564 --> 01:18:46,295 - Is there a problem, principal? - Yes. Unfortunately there is. 1165 01:18:46,435 --> 01:18:51,463 But I think it's only right that Sebastian Hastings tell you himself. 1166 01:18:51,607 --> 01:18:55,043 Sebastian? Son? Or... 1167 01:18:55,177 --> 01:18:57,577 Do you have anything you'd like to say? 1168 01:19:00,682 --> 01:19:03,617 I'm sorry I'm not a very good soccer player. 1169 01:19:05,454 --> 01:19:06,978 I see. 1170 01:19:07,122 --> 01:19:11,081 Well then, please know that what I say, 1171 01:19:11,226 --> 01:19:13,626 I say with a heavy heart. 1172 01:19:18,300 --> 01:19:20,768 Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed alumni, 1173 01:19:20,903 --> 01:19:23,167 friends and family of Sebastian Hastings, 1174 01:19:23,305 --> 01:19:25,273 I am grievously sad... 1175 01:19:25,407 --> 01:19:29,104 ...to inform you that Sebastian Hastings 1176 01:19:29,244 --> 01:19:31,542 is... a girl. 1177 01:19:32,881 --> 01:19:35,941 Sorry, it's for your own good. You'll thank me for it someday. 1178 01:19:36,085 --> 01:19:37,279 Oh, OK. Certainly. Yes. 1179 01:19:37,419 --> 01:19:41,321 Excuse me. I'm not a girl. 1180 01:19:41,457 --> 01:19:42,685 Hello! Yes. 1181 01:19:42,825 --> 01:19:44,759 In fact, yes, he is. He's a big girl. 1182 01:19:44,893 --> 01:19:47,589 He's actually specifically his own sister, Viola, 1183 01:19:47,729 --> 01:19:51,688 who's been impersonating him for reasons which will become very clear 1184 01:19:51,834 --> 01:19:53,768 after extensive psychoanalysis. 1185 01:19:53,902 --> 01:19:56,200 Folks. 1186 01:19:56,338 --> 01:19:59,307 I'm a boy. I promise. 1187 01:19:59,441 --> 01:20:02,968 - Prove it. - OK. 1188 01:20:05,581 --> 01:20:06,605 God! I saw it. 1189 01:20:06,748 --> 01:20:09,182 Nice work, Paul. Wow. 1190 01:20:09,318 --> 01:20:11,047 That's my boy. 1191 01:20:11,186 --> 01:20:12,710 Kevin, close your eyes. 1192 01:20:12,855 --> 01:20:15,323 Soccer is the world's favorite sport. 1193 01:20:15,457 --> 01:20:16,890 Thank you. Thank you. 1194 01:20:17,025 --> 01:20:19,789 Nothing to see here. No offense. 1195 01:20:19,928 --> 01:20:22,488 Folks, please, hang on for one second. 1196 01:20:22,631 --> 01:20:24,997 Just talk amongst yourselves for a second. 1197 01:20:26,335 --> 01:20:28,735 Malcolm! 1198 01:20:28,871 --> 01:20:32,705 Can you shed some light on the current situation? 1199 01:20:34,643 --> 01:20:38,079 Not any more than has already been shed, sir. 1200 01:20:38,213 --> 01:20:40,841 OK, lads, listen up now. 1201 01:20:40,983 --> 01:20:44,180 Now that we've established this boy... 1202 01:20:44,319 --> 01:20:45,911 ...is a boy... 1203 01:20:46,054 --> 01:20:48,420 ...is it possible we can get back to our game? 1204 01:20:50,893 --> 01:20:54,260 Yes. Enjoy. That was a skit we... 1205 01:20:54,396 --> 01:20:55,863 OK. Yes. 1206 01:20:55,998 --> 01:20:57,522 Let's get to it, guys. Come on. 1207 01:20:57,666 --> 01:21:00,100 - I know, let's play. - Waste of time. 1208 01:21:00,235 --> 01:21:05,400 Baby. Baby, baby, baby. I have missed you so much. 1209 01:21:05,541 --> 01:21:07,338 Oh, my God, we are both so dead. 1210 01:21:07,476 --> 01:21:11,344 We're over, Monique. Done. 1211 01:21:12,681 --> 01:21:15,377 God! Not again! 1212 01:21:21,023 --> 01:21:23,082 Good work, Hastings. 1213 01:21:23,225 --> 01:21:24,385 Bench. 1214 01:21:38,273 --> 01:21:39,604 Good one! 1215 01:21:42,377 --> 01:21:43,810 Halftime, gentlemen. 1216 01:22:04,700 --> 01:22:06,361 Sebastian! 1217 01:22:06,501 --> 01:22:08,025 - Vi? - Yes. 1218 01:22:08,170 --> 01:22:09,364 Why do you look like me?! 1219 01:22:09,504 --> 01:22:11,369 I pretended to be you the last two weeks 1220 01:22:11,506 --> 01:22:13,701 to prove I could play in the boys soccer team. 1221 01:22:13,842 --> 01:22:15,867 - Yes. - OK. OK, cool. 1222 01:22:16,011 --> 01:22:18,343 - No, wait! What?! - I don't have time to explain! 1223 01:22:18,480 --> 01:22:20,311 Why are you wearing my uniform? 1224 01:22:20,449 --> 01:22:22,815 I came to find the girl that kissed me last night. 1225 01:22:22,951 --> 01:22:26,409 - Who kissed you? What girl? - Check it out. That one. 1226 01:22:26,555 --> 01:22:28,352 Olivia? 1227 01:22:28,490 --> 01:22:31,482 She was all over me. She kissed me and recited my own lyrics. 1228 01:22:31,627 --> 01:22:33,993 Vi, this may be the girl of my dreams. 1229 01:22:34,129 --> 01:22:35,790 That's the kiss that Duke saw. 1230 01:22:35,931 --> 01:22:37,125 Wait, are those real? 1231 01:22:37,266 --> 01:22:38,824 Yeah. I'm growing sideburns. 1232 01:22:38,967 --> 01:22:41,299 No! Please stay hidden until the end of the game. 1233 01:22:41,436 --> 01:22:43,996 And give me my uniform back right now! 1234 01:22:52,047 --> 01:22:54,345 We start the second half. 1235 01:22:54,483 --> 01:22:58,214 Illyria, zero, Cornwall, zero. Nothing but a couple of goose eggs. 1236 01:22:58,353 --> 01:23:01,652 - Coach, I'm ready to play. - Is that what you call it? 1237 01:23:01,790 --> 01:23:04,486 I've seen little girls in tutus kick the ball better. 1238 01:23:04,626 --> 01:23:06,287 I've changed. 1239 01:23:06,428 --> 01:23:09,022 Come on, coach, give me one more chance. 1240 01:23:09,164 --> 01:23:10,688 All right. Go. 1241 01:23:10,832 --> 01:23:12,197 Kick. Kill! 1242 01:23:25,847 --> 01:23:27,314 Yeah! Now that's Viola! 1243 01:23:42,998 --> 01:23:45,023 You couldn't score on me in the first half. 1244 01:23:45,167 --> 01:23:48,830 You ain't going to score on me this half, baby! I'm ninja! Ninja goalie! 1245 01:24:00,315 --> 01:24:01,577 Come on, guys! 1246 01:24:41,123 --> 01:24:44,115 Duke! Duke! I'm open! 1247 01:24:44,259 --> 01:24:47,820 Give me the ball! Duke! Hey, over here! 1248 01:24:47,963 --> 01:24:49,931 I'm open! 1249 01:24:51,266 --> 01:24:55,032 Duke! Get back! Get back! 1250 01:24:59,541 --> 01:25:00,974 No! 1251 01:25:01,109 --> 01:25:04,010 Yes, Dan-O, way to go, baby! 1252 01:25:08,950 --> 01:25:10,918 Cornwall's right back in it with a goal. 1253 01:25:20,295 --> 01:25:24,026 - What's the matter?! Sebastian's open! - Rather lose the goal?! 1254 01:25:24,166 --> 01:25:25,326 Shut up, man. 1255 01:25:25,467 --> 01:25:27,492 Duke, I know you're mad at me. 1256 01:25:27,636 --> 01:25:30,537 Don't talk to me. Get out of my face! 1257 01:25:30,672 --> 01:25:34,233 Nothing is going on with me and Olivia! When the game is over I'll explain! 1258 01:25:34,376 --> 01:25:37,675 For right now, you don't have to like me, but I'm your teammate, OK?! 1259 01:25:37,813 --> 01:25:40,338 I want to beat these guys! I have to beat these guys! 1260 01:25:40,482 --> 01:25:43,679 If we're not disturbing you, we have a soccer game to finish. 1261 01:25:43,819 --> 01:25:45,150 Get back in the net, man. 1262 01:25:45,287 --> 01:25:47,346 Or you'll hit my fist with your face again? 1263 01:25:47,489 --> 01:25:49,480 Do you want to see me do it? Let's go! 1264 01:25:49,624 --> 01:25:50,886 Duke, come on. Stop it. 1265 01:25:51,026 --> 01:25:52,721 - Come on! - Duke, stop it. 1266 01:25:56,331 --> 01:25:59,391 Sebastian! 1267 01:25:59,534 --> 01:26:01,695 Duke! Stop it! 1268 01:26:01,837 --> 01:26:03,532 Come on! 1269 01:26:04,506 --> 01:26:05,837 OK! 1270 01:26:05,974 --> 01:26:08,340 Stop it! Oh, my God! 1271 01:26:08,477 --> 01:26:11,241 If you want to roughhouse, take it at least 500 yards 1272 01:26:11,379 --> 01:26:14,177 - away from the stadium grounds. - Break it up! Break it up! 1273 01:26:15,484 --> 01:26:17,543 OK, tough guys. 1274 01:26:17,686 --> 01:26:21,452 You want to box? You get out of my stadium. 1275 01:26:21,590 --> 01:26:23,387 Otherwise, get on with the game. 1276 01:26:23,525 --> 01:26:25,652 Come on, now, Armadillos of Illyria. 1277 01:26:25,794 --> 01:26:27,625 That goes for the rest of you! 1278 01:26:27,762 --> 01:26:31,027 Now get on and play some real football! 1279 01:26:31,166 --> 01:26:33,964 - Like a bunch of girls. - OK. 1280 01:26:34,102 --> 01:26:38,698 The rest of you, let's play some real football like a bunch of girls. 1281 01:26:38,840 --> 01:26:40,740 - All right? - You suck! 1282 01:26:40,876 --> 01:26:44,243 It's not football, it's soccer. That's what we call it in the States. 1283 01:26:44,379 --> 01:26:48,076 - Sebastian! Are you OK? - No, Olivia, Not now. 1284 01:26:48,216 --> 01:26:50,582 Try to tell me again there's nothing going on. 1285 01:26:50,719 --> 01:26:52,380 There is nothing going on! 1286 01:26:52,521 --> 01:26:56,548 - What about last night? - I didn't lie to you, Duke. 1287 01:26:56,691 --> 01:26:59,285 I did, but not about this. 1288 01:27:00,996 --> 01:27:02,293 Here's the truth. 1289 01:27:03,798 --> 01:27:05,060 I love you. 1290 01:27:06,034 --> 01:27:07,023 I beg your pardon? 1291 01:27:07,168 --> 01:27:11,229 What? All right... What're you? That's just a little weird. 1292 01:27:11,373 --> 01:27:14,365 OK, you know what? I can't do this anymore. 1293 01:27:14,509 --> 01:27:17,137 Everybody, I have something to tell you. 1294 01:27:18,013 --> 01:27:20,777 I'm not Sebastian. 1295 01:27:20,916 --> 01:27:21,905 I'm Viola. 1296 01:27:22,050 --> 01:27:24,245 Wait. You're not Viola. 1297 01:27:24,386 --> 01:27:26,911 - Yes, I am. - No, I know Viola. 1298 01:27:27,055 --> 01:27:29,546 - I... I kissed Viola. - You kissed me. 1299 01:27:29,691 --> 01:27:33,787 What are you talking about? I didn't kiss you. 1300 01:27:33,929 --> 01:27:37,524 The girls team at Cornwall got cut. 1301 01:27:37,666 --> 01:27:40,829 The guys wouldn't let me go out for their team. 1302 01:27:40,969 --> 01:27:44,336 So I've been pretending to be my brother 1303 01:27:44,472 --> 01:27:48,568 while he was in London for the past two weeks... 1304 01:27:48,710 --> 01:27:52,908 ...so I could make the team and beat Cornwall. 1305 01:27:58,653 --> 01:28:01,019 But my brother came home early. 1306 01:28:01,156 --> 01:28:06,093 And that's who you saw kissing Olivia and that's who played the first half. 1307 01:28:06,227 --> 01:28:08,752 Because you wear a wig doesn't prove you're a girl. 1308 01:28:08,897 --> 01:28:11,161 OK, then. 1309 01:28:13,168 --> 01:28:15,261 Merciful Jesus. 1310 01:28:15,403 --> 01:28:16,961 Yeah! 1311 01:28:17,105 --> 01:28:18,936 - Viola?! - Is it just me 1312 01:28:19,074 --> 01:28:21,542 or this soccer game have more nudity than most? 1313 01:28:21,676 --> 01:28:23,667 All right, so everybody understand? 1314 01:28:23,812 --> 01:28:25,780 - Yeah. I get it. - OK. 1315 01:28:25,914 --> 01:28:28,883 Wait a minute. If I kissed your brother, where is he? 1316 01:28:29,017 --> 01:28:32,612 Probably halfway to China. He showed his willis and doodleberries... 1317 01:28:32,754 --> 01:28:34,278 - Present. - Hi. 1318 01:28:34,422 --> 01:28:36,356 What the? 1319 01:28:36,491 --> 01:28:38,686 OK, this is freaking me out. 1320 01:28:39,794 --> 01:28:43,321 Ladies and gentlemen, I hate to say "I told you so," but I just... 1321 01:28:44,466 --> 01:28:46,593 See, Duke? I didn't betray you. 1322 01:28:48,503 --> 01:28:49,629 I'm sorry. 1323 01:28:49,771 --> 01:28:53,571 This isn't how I wanted it to happen, and I didn't want to hurt you. 1324 01:28:53,708 --> 01:28:58,338 But I just wanted to prove that I was good enough. 1325 01:28:58,480 --> 01:29:00,573 All I'm asking for is a chance. 1326 01:29:05,053 --> 01:29:07,021 Duke? 1327 01:29:12,527 --> 01:29:15,257 It's just like what coach says before every game: 1328 01:29:17,098 --> 01:29:20,727 "Be not afraid of greatness. 1329 01:29:20,869 --> 01:29:24,270 Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. 1330 01:29:24,406 --> 01:29:29,400 And some have greatness thrust upon them." 1331 01:29:29,544 --> 01:29:33,446 I think the best chance for us to be great here today is to have you play. 1332 01:29:33,581 --> 01:29:36,049 - Yeah! - All right! 1333 01:29:36,184 --> 01:29:39,915 Yeah! Yeah! No! 1334 01:29:40,055 --> 01:29:41,386 No playing! 1335 01:29:41,523 --> 01:29:42,751 You have to forfeit. 1336 01:29:42,891 --> 01:29:45,519 There's no girls in this league. Look in the manual. 1337 01:29:48,163 --> 01:29:49,391 What manual? 1338 01:29:49,531 --> 01:29:52,500 Listen, pal. You're in Illyria. 1339 01:29:52,634 --> 01:29:57,401 We don't discriminate based on gender. 1340 01:29:57,539 --> 01:29:59,404 All right. 1341 01:29:59,541 --> 01:30:01,839 That's gonna bruise. 1342 01:30:01,976 --> 01:30:07,141 Fine. You really think you can beat us with a girl on your team? 1343 01:30:07,282 --> 01:30:09,580 This should be fun. 1344 01:30:09,718 --> 01:30:11,185 Go. 1345 01:30:11,319 --> 01:30:13,753 I get to say the last word, not you. Go. 1346 01:30:16,291 --> 01:30:17,918 OK, team... 1347 01:30:18,059 --> 01:30:21,392 ...let's go kick! Kill! - Yeah! 1348 01:30:21,529 --> 01:30:23,224 Come on! Come on! 1349 01:30:23,364 --> 01:30:25,924 Well, folks, this is a real nail-biter. 1350 01:30:26,067 --> 01:30:29,059 It's a tie score at the bottom of the second half. 1351 01:31:00,168 --> 01:31:01,999 Come on, come on! Open up! 1352 01:31:18,186 --> 01:31:19,175 What? 1353 01:31:19,320 --> 01:31:23,120 Foul? That's not a foul! He got all ball! 1354 01:31:29,130 --> 01:31:31,428 And the penalty kick will decide the game. 1355 01:31:39,674 --> 01:31:43,701 Where you gonna kick it? Right here? I know you're gonna kick it there. 1356 01:31:43,845 --> 01:31:45,506 Am I in your head? Am I in your head? 1357 01:31:45,647 --> 01:31:49,174 You see the goal? It's getting smaller and I'm getting bigger. 1358 01:31:49,317 --> 01:31:50,306 Come on. 1359 01:31:50,451 --> 01:31:52,442 I love you. 1360 01:31:52,587 --> 01:31:55,215 Concentrate. Don't kick like a girl. 1361 01:31:55,356 --> 01:31:57,916 Guys are better. It's not gonna happen. 1362 01:31:58,059 --> 01:31:59,959 You're a loser! This is my house! 1363 01:32:00,094 --> 01:32:02,585 You're pathetic! I'm in your head. 1364 01:32:15,977 --> 01:32:18,172 Yeah! 1365 01:32:19,714 --> 01:32:22,979 - That's my girl! - Mine too! 1366 01:32:34,195 --> 01:32:36,993 It's not fair! It's not fair! 1367 01:32:37,131 --> 01:32:38,860 That was a lucky shot! 1368 01:32:39,000 --> 01:32:42,936 I never wanna see you again! You suck! 1369 01:32:50,245 --> 01:32:52,907 - You did it, Vi! - You were so awesome! 1370 01:32:53,047 --> 01:32:55,743 - I am so proud of you. - It's over. 1371 01:32:55,884 --> 01:32:58,375 You scored the game-winning goal. Say something. 1372 01:32:58,519 --> 01:33:00,851 Mom? Dad? 1373 01:33:03,358 --> 01:33:05,690 - That was really something. - Thanks, Dad. 1374 01:33:05,827 --> 01:33:09,456 - You did all this to play soccer? - I told you, it's important to me. 1375 01:33:09,597 --> 01:33:13,260 If Viola was here pretending to be you, 1376 01:33:13,401 --> 01:33:15,335 - where were you? - Oh, he was... 1377 01:33:15,470 --> 01:33:17,335 I was in London playing my music. 1378 01:33:17,472 --> 01:33:20,270 - London? - It was important to me. 1379 01:33:20,408 --> 01:33:22,876 - You should call before you... - How did you? 1380 01:33:23,011 --> 01:33:25,343 Mom, Dad... Hey! 1381 01:33:25,480 --> 01:33:29,576 Why don't we go to dinner? As a family? 1382 01:33:29,717 --> 01:33:32,880 - Maybe tomorrow? - I suppose I could fit that in. 1383 01:33:33,021 --> 01:33:35,387 Would you like to have my cell phone number? 1384 01:33:35,523 --> 01:33:37,582 - Let me give you my e-mail. - All right. 1385 01:33:37,725 --> 01:33:39,158 Yay! 1386 01:33:39,294 --> 01:33:41,057 - Good job. - Thank you. 1387 01:33:41,195 --> 01:33:44,358 Oh, wait! There is somebody I want you to officially meet. 1388 01:33:44,499 --> 01:33:47,832 Sebastian Hastings, Olivia Lennox. 1389 01:33:49,971 --> 01:33:52,303 - It's very nice to meet you. - You too. 1390 01:33:52,440 --> 01:33:55,705 So I heard you like my lyrics. 1391 01:33:58,346 --> 01:34:01,838 - Eunice? - Toby? 1392 01:34:04,752 --> 01:34:07,243 I have something to say. 1393 01:34:07,388 --> 01:34:09,913 I think you are... 1394 01:34:10,058 --> 01:34:12,583 ...amazing. 1395 01:34:13,828 --> 01:34:16,092 And I'm not ashamed of it. 1396 01:34:19,634 --> 01:34:21,829 I know tricks. 1397 01:34:21,970 --> 01:34:23,961 Oh, Eunice. 1398 01:34:59,440 --> 01:35:02,102 Hey, roomie. 1399 01:35:02,243 --> 01:35:04,871 This is for you. 1400 01:35:27,168 --> 01:35:30,069 "The Stratford Junior League invites you 1401 01:35:30,204 --> 01:35:34,072 to the 38th Annual Debutante Ball." 1402 01:35:36,244 --> 01:35:39,975 - He still could show, you know. - You didn't see his face. 1403 01:35:40,114 --> 01:35:42,309 I found the perfect dress. 1404 01:35:42,450 --> 01:35:46,318 Thanks, Mom, but I don't think I'm gonna get a chance to wear it. 1405 01:35:46,454 --> 01:35:47,546 Nonsense. 1406 01:35:47,688 --> 01:35:51,681 You don't need a man to wear a beautiful dress. 1407 01:35:52,660 --> 01:35:54,651 But it doesn't hurt. 1408 01:35:54,796 --> 01:35:59,256 Viola Hastings, it would be my honor to escort you tonight. 1409 01:35:59,400 --> 01:36:01,300 Thanks, Paul. That's really sweet. 1410 01:36:01,436 --> 01:36:03,996 Caterpillars! My precious caterpillars. 1411 01:36:04,138 --> 01:36:07,130 In 20 minutes you'll all be beautiful butterflies. 1412 01:36:07,275 --> 01:36:10,335 - Caterpillars! - Butterflies! 1413 01:36:10,478 --> 01:36:14,175 You look beautiful. I just... I gotta get some air. 1414 01:36:46,214 --> 01:36:47,909 I didn't think you'd show up. 1415 01:36:49,984 --> 01:36:52,452 It really means a lot to me that you're here. 1416 01:36:54,622 --> 01:36:57,648 - Say something. - I gotta turn the sprinklers on. 1417 01:37:00,228 --> 01:37:02,093 Sorry. 1418 01:37:10,104 --> 01:37:13,096 - Hi. - Hi. 1419 01:37:13,241 --> 01:37:16,267 So, what brings you here? 1420 01:37:17,645 --> 01:37:20,079 Well, a few days ago, 1421 01:37:20,214 --> 01:37:23,479 I kissed this girl at a kissing booth. 1422 01:37:25,019 --> 01:37:29,786 And now I just can't seem to stop thinking about it. 1423 01:37:30,658 --> 01:37:32,558 Neither can she. 1424 01:37:32,693 --> 01:37:37,062 Plus, I miss my roommate. 1425 01:37:37,198 --> 01:37:39,462 I really liked him. 1426 01:37:40,601 --> 01:37:43,035 Well... 1427 01:37:43,171 --> 01:37:44,798 ...he's right in here. 1428 01:37:46,073 --> 01:37:51,375 Listen, I know I should've told you who I was, but... 1429 01:37:51,512 --> 01:37:52,774 ...I was afraid. 1430 01:37:55,149 --> 01:37:58,380 - Sorry. - Well, 1431 01:37:58,519 --> 01:38:00,987 you know, maybe if I'd have known you were a girl, 1432 01:38:01,122 --> 01:38:03,488 we wouldn't have talked like we did 1433 01:38:03,624 --> 01:38:06,821 and got to know each other the same way. 1434 01:38:06,961 --> 01:38:08,622 And that would have been a shame. 1435 01:38:10,798 --> 01:38:13,266 Just so you know, 1436 01:38:13,401 --> 01:38:17,838 everything you told me when I was a guy just... 1437 01:38:17,972 --> 01:38:21,840 ...made me like you so much more as a girl. 1438 01:38:21,976 --> 01:38:25,002 OK, but just from here on in, 1439 01:38:25,146 --> 01:38:27,842 everything would just be a lot easier 1440 01:38:27,982 --> 01:38:31,349 if you stayed a girl. 1441 01:38:31,485 --> 01:38:33,612 I promise. 1442 01:38:33,754 --> 01:38:38,987 Monique Valentine, escorted by Justin Drayton. 1443 01:38:48,002 --> 01:38:49,401 Justin, you're the man! 1444 01:38:56,410 --> 01:39:00,972 Olivia Lennox, escorted by Sebastian Hastings. 1445 01:39:07,955 --> 01:39:13,757 Viola Hastings, escorted by Paul Antonio. 1446 01:39:18,566 --> 01:39:21,000 Viola Hastings. 1447 01:39:23,237 --> 01:39:25,967 This is typical. Well, where is she?