1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 2 00:01:27,578 --> 00:01:32,017 Sir, how often should one exonerate one's bowels? 3 00:01:32,083 --> 00:01:35,019 One should never, ever interrupt one's desire to defecate. 4 00:01:35,086 --> 00:01:38,544 I have inquired at the Bronx and London zoos... 5 00:01:38,622 --> 00:01:42,182 as to the daily bowel evacuation of primates. 6 00:01:42,258 --> 00:01:45,488 It's not once, twice or three times, sir, but four. 7 00:01:45,561 --> 00:01:48,461 At the end of an average day their cages are filled... 8 00:01:48,529 --> 00:01:51,727 with a veritable mountain of natural health. 9 00:01:51,799 --> 00:01:53,130 And sex? 10 00:01:53,201 --> 00:01:56,067 Sex is the sewer drain of a healthy body, sir. 11 00:01:56,137 --> 00:02:01,162 Any use of the sexual act other than procreation is a waste of vital energy. 12 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,230 Wasted seeds are wasted lives. 13 00:02:03,308 --> 00:02:05,776 - Eating meat? - He that killeth the ox... 14 00:02:05,845 --> 00:02:08,039 is as if he slew a man. 15 00:02:08,112 --> 00:02:12,515 Each juicy morsel of meat is alive and swarming with the same filth... 16 00:02:12,584 --> 00:02:15,642 as found in the carcass of a dead rat. 17 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:20,212 A meat eater, sir, is drowning in a tide of gore. What is a sausage? 18 00:02:20,288 --> 00:02:22,985 A sausage is an indigestible balloon... 19 00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:25,652 of decayed beef riddled with tuberculosis. 20 00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:27,318 Eat it and die. 21 00:02:27,395 --> 00:02:30,795 For I have seen many a repentant meat glutton... 22 00:02:30,865 --> 00:02:35,597 his body full of uric acid and remorse, his soul adrift on a raft... 23 00:02:35,668 --> 00:02:37,635 in an ocean of poisonous slime... 24 00:02:37,704 --> 00:02:39,933 sloshing against the walls of the body's kitchen. 25 00:02:40,005 --> 00:02:41,301 Smoking? 26 00:02:41,371 --> 00:02:44,570 The liver is the only thing standing between the smoker and death. 27 00:02:44,642 --> 00:02:47,702 Also certain other things have to be avoided... 28 00:02:47,778 --> 00:02:50,404 like feather beds... 29 00:02:50,479 --> 00:02:52,141 and romantic novels... 30 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,581 and the touching of one's organs. 31 00:02:54,651 --> 00:02:58,017 Masturbation is the silent killer of the night... 32 00:02:58,086 --> 00:03:01,784 the vilest sin of self-pollution, the sin of Onan. 33 00:03:03,359 --> 00:03:06,623 Dr. Kellogg, how did you come to invent the cornflake? 34 00:03:06,694 --> 00:03:10,855 The cornflake, sir, is just one of 75 of my creations for healthy living... 35 00:03:10,930 --> 00:03:14,127 among them peanut butter and the electric blanket. 36 00:03:14,201 --> 00:03:18,000 And what about your imitators? There are 103 other cornflakes... 37 00:03:18,069 --> 00:03:20,834 presently being manufactured here in Battle Creek. 38 00:03:20,907 --> 00:03:23,873 Sir, corn is the Injun's gift to the New World... 39 00:03:23,941 --> 00:03:26,842 and the cornflake is my gift to the entire world. 40 00:03:26,911 --> 00:03:28,901 And what do you think about your brother? 41 00:03:28,978 --> 00:03:31,606 My younger brother, W.K. Kellogg, worked for me... 42 00:03:31,681 --> 00:03:34,674 as a low-paid assistant for many years. 43 00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:38,847 Now he's on his own and amassing fortunes with my cornflake invention. 44 00:03:38,923 --> 00:03:42,548 Unfortunately he has chosen the family name to promote it. 45 00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:45,649 But the whole world knows only one Kellogg: 46 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,091 Me, Dr. John Harvey Kellogg... 47 00:03:48,161 --> 00:03:52,791 surgeon, inventor, author and crusader for biological livin'. 48 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:55,333 I do not seek monetary reward... 49 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:58,460 for I am called to a greater glory. 50 00:03:58,537 --> 00:04:00,095 Here, at the Battle Creek Sanitarium... 51 00:04:00,172 --> 00:04:03,436 the spirits soar, the mind is educated... 52 00:04:03,508 --> 00:04:06,840 and the bowels... the bowels are born again. 53 00:04:08,244 --> 00:04:11,407 Every woman 54 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:14,743 And every man 55 00:04:14,815 --> 00:04:18,444 Is at the temple of health 56 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:21,818 Here at the Battle Creek San 57 00:04:31,596 --> 00:04:34,394 In, out. In, out. 58 00:04:34,465 --> 00:04:36,900 In, out. In, out. 59 00:05:30,677 --> 00:05:33,112 - Did you? - Nothing. 60 00:05:33,180 --> 00:05:35,340 Oh, my darling Will, I'm so sorry. 61 00:05:35,416 --> 00:05:37,712 Eleanor, if I could only eat something. 62 00:05:37,783 --> 00:05:39,911 My poor thing. 63 00:05:39,986 --> 00:05:41,817 Not now, Will. 64 00:05:55,599 --> 00:05:58,191 Excuse me, sir. But would you mind if we joined your table? 65 00:05:58,267 --> 00:06:00,031 I'm afraid the dining car is rather crowded. 66 00:06:00,103 --> 00:06:02,467 - No, no, no. Not at all. Please. - Thank you. 67 00:06:02,538 --> 00:06:04,630 - Ossining. Charles Ossining. - Eleanor Lightbody. 68 00:06:04,706 --> 00:06:06,765 And this is my husband, Will. 69 00:06:06,841 --> 00:06:10,832 - How do you do. - Allow me to give you my card. 70 00:06:10,910 --> 00:06:12,903 I'm in the breakfast food business. 71 00:06:12,979 --> 00:06:15,539 Really? Which one? Try-a-Bita? Krinkle? Foodle? 72 00:06:15,615 --> 00:06:18,584 Cero-Fruito? Fush? Goodness, there's so many, suddenly. 73 00:06:18,651 --> 00:06:20,016 - It's hard to keep up. - Per-Fo. 74 00:06:20,087 --> 00:06:22,280 Per-Fo? Don't believe I've heard of that one. 75 00:06:22,354 --> 00:06:24,117 Actually, we haven't started yet. 76 00:06:24,189 --> 00:06:26,453 In fact, I'm on my way to Battle Creek to start the company. 77 00:06:26,525 --> 00:06:29,321 - How nice. - You're eating oysters. 78 00:06:29,392 --> 00:06:31,553 Yes. Bluepoints. They're quite good. 79 00:06:31,629 --> 00:06:33,357 - Would you like to try one? - No! 80 00:06:34,564 --> 00:06:37,761 - It's his stomach. - May I take your order, sir, madam? 81 00:06:37,833 --> 00:06:40,630 Oh, yes. 82 00:06:40,702 --> 00:06:43,297 I'll have the cucumber salad and a glass of water. Thank you. 83 00:06:43,372 --> 00:06:45,497 - And sir? - Toast. And a glass of water. 84 00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:47,368 - Toast? - Toast. 85 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,306 And how would you like that, sir? 86 00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:53,807 Toasted. Dry. On its own. On a plate. 87 00:06:53,879 --> 00:06:55,437 Certainly, sir. 88 00:06:58,317 --> 00:07:00,341 Battle Creek, you say. Well, what a coincidence. 89 00:07:00,418 --> 00:07:03,410 That's our destination too. We're going to the sanitarium for the cure. 90 00:07:03,488 --> 00:07:05,852 - I've never been. - Third time for me. First for Will. 91 00:07:05,923 --> 00:07:07,617 I'm one of those Battle freaks that you read about. 92 00:07:07,690 --> 00:07:09,819 Well, well, well. 93 00:07:09,894 --> 00:07:12,883 - Scavengers of the sea, you know. - Excuse me? 94 00:07:12,962 --> 00:07:14,758 Eleanor, not again, please. 95 00:07:14,830 --> 00:07:17,321 Oysters live in muck and filth, and they feed on it. 96 00:07:17,398 --> 00:07:19,026 You said you wouldn't do this. 97 00:07:20,301 --> 00:07:22,736 Oyster juice is nothing more than urine. 98 00:07:22,804 --> 00:07:25,327 - Urine? - Piss, to use the vernacular. 99 00:07:25,405 --> 00:07:28,000 Eleanor, that's enough! 100 00:07:28,075 --> 00:07:31,304 But, Will, the gentleman should know that he's ingesting slimy piss. 101 00:07:31,378 --> 00:07:33,071 Will you never shut up! 102 00:07:36,215 --> 00:07:37,546 Oh, my God! 103 00:07:43,654 --> 00:07:46,054 Terrible thing, indigestion. 104 00:07:59,634 --> 00:08:02,033 Bye, Mr. Ossining. Good luck with your new company. 105 00:08:02,102 --> 00:08:03,536 Good-bye. 106 00:08:16,247 --> 00:08:18,613 Bend and stretch. 107 00:08:21,951 --> 00:08:25,114 Twist, twist. 108 00:09:05,721 --> 00:09:08,587 And I will show to you... 109 00:09:08,658 --> 00:09:11,421 that in the sluggish bowels of the flesh eater... 110 00:09:11,493 --> 00:09:14,017 lays the source of 9/10... 9/10... 111 00:09:14,093 --> 00:09:16,790 of the chronic ills from which human beings suffer. 112 00:09:16,864 --> 00:09:19,127 Ah, Mr. Dab, you're back. 113 00:09:19,199 --> 00:09:23,397 Good. We can continue with the " Question Box" with a small demonstration. 114 00:09:23,470 --> 00:09:26,233 - Sir, he's here. - Later, Poult, later. Sit down. 115 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:32,335 Ladies and gentlemen, here I have in front of me a steak... 116 00:09:32,409 --> 00:09:35,173 which my assistant, Mr. Poultney Dab, assures me... 117 00:09:35,246 --> 00:09:39,340 is the finest porterhouse the nearby Post Tavern Hotel has to offer. 118 00:09:39,415 --> 00:09:43,546 Also, I have here a bag of horse excreta. 119 00:09:44,821 --> 00:09:48,219 Oh, yes. Manure. 120 00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:52,454 Dung from our very own stables, so fresh it is still warm. 121 00:09:54,229 --> 00:09:56,696 Hey, and steaming! 122 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,662 Dr. Linniman, would you be so kind as to prepare a sample of each... 123 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,460 for the microscopes, please? 124 00:10:04,034 --> 00:10:06,766 Ladies and gentlemen, I will now provide you with proof... 125 00:10:06,838 --> 00:10:08,896 which I fervently hope will forever turn you away... 126 00:10:08,973 --> 00:10:11,407 from the disgustin' habit of eating meat. 127 00:10:11,474 --> 00:10:14,000 Disgustin' not only because we should never take the lives... 128 00:10:14,078 --> 00:10:17,638 of our fellow creatures, but disgustin' because, my friends, what lurks... 129 00:10:17,713 --> 00:10:19,807 within that steak... 130 00:10:19,882 --> 00:10:24,080 is as bad or worse than that which crawls inside that bag of barnyard dung. 131 00:10:25,552 --> 00:10:27,521 Now, may I have a volunteer, please? 132 00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:32,385 Oh, come on, don't be shy. 133 00:10:34,694 --> 00:10:37,991 Miss Muntz, who I see in the second row here. 134 00:10:38,062 --> 00:10:40,963 Would you be so kind as to come to the table, Miss Muntz, please? 135 00:10:55,977 --> 00:10:57,409 Watch your step. 136 00:10:57,479 --> 00:10:59,709 - Thank you. - Watch your step, sir. 137 00:11:01,514 --> 00:11:05,076 Oh, breathe it in, Will. Can't you just smell it? 138 00:11:07,321 --> 00:11:11,153 We're both going to get well. I just know it. It's a promise. 139 00:11:15,526 --> 00:11:17,689 What do you see, Miss Muntz? 140 00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,923 White specks crawling. 141 00:11:19,997 --> 00:11:22,931 Dr. Linniman, please, please, do not keep us in suspense. 142 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,799 Please reveal to our good friends here the identity of the offensive slide. 143 00:11:26,869 --> 00:11:32,204 Sir, Miss Muntz has identified the porterhouse steak. 144 00:11:33,375 --> 00:11:37,004 Ladies and gentlemen, please come to the podium and see for yourself. 145 00:12:17,177 --> 00:12:20,202 Oh, it's Dr. Kellogg's "Question Box." What a pity we missed it. 146 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,579 - How much do I tip? - Oh, no dear. Not at the San. 147 00:12:22,648 --> 00:12:25,674 Ah, Mr. Birdwhistle... 148 00:12:25,751 --> 00:12:29,710 Look, Will! There's the great man himself. There's Dr. Kellogg. 149 00:12:29,788 --> 00:12:33,052 Working that program, are we? Good girl. 150 00:12:33,125 --> 00:12:37,753 Mr. Abernathy. I trust the Protose broth is helping with the flatulence? 151 00:12:37,828 --> 00:12:40,525 - Very well, Doctor. - Good. Splendid. 152 00:12:40,598 --> 00:12:44,589 Ah, Mrs. Portois, a glow in your cheeks I detect. 153 00:12:44,666 --> 00:12:47,830 A veritable beacon of natural health! 154 00:12:47,904 --> 00:12:49,596 How pleasing. 155 00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:53,300 Hello, Father. Aren't you going to introduce me? 156 00:12:53,374 --> 00:12:57,310 - Do you have some spare change, miss? - Excuse us, please. 157 00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,709 How dare you, son? I've told you never to come here. 158 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,304 Come on, Father, give us a cuddle. 159 00:13:01,380 --> 00:13:04,476 - You stink, sir. - Don't we all in one way or another? 160 00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,847 Your behavior is unconscionable. 161 00:13:06,918 --> 00:13:11,581 - Now, why are you here? - Money. 162 00:13:11,657 --> 00:13:13,750 You've had all the money you'll ever get from me, boy. 163 00:13:13,824 --> 00:13:15,620 Dr. Kellogg, what a pleasure to see you. 164 00:13:15,692 --> 00:13:18,560 - Ah, yes, Mrs... - Lightbody. Eleanor Lightbody. 165 00:13:18,628 --> 00:13:21,653 I'd like to introduce you to my husband. This is Will. 166 00:13:21,729 --> 00:13:25,722 Hello, You look like you're on your last leg. Can you spare some change? 167 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:27,734 Excuse us, please. 168 00:13:30,339 --> 00:13:32,567 - How much? - One hundred. 169 00:13:32,639 --> 00:13:35,401 Mr. Wilcox. Take this gentleman to Mr. Phipps... 170 00:13:35,474 --> 00:13:37,637 and tell him to give him $100. 171 00:13:37,711 --> 00:13:41,735 Then show him the front gate. Thank you. 172 00:13:43,149 --> 00:13:46,174 Poor wretch. A charity patient. Ah, now, Mr. Lightbody, is it? 173 00:13:46,251 --> 00:13:49,618 How do you do, sir? Oh, dear, you are unwell. 174 00:13:49,689 --> 00:13:53,122 Let me see your tongue, please. Out more. 175 00:13:53,191 --> 00:13:55,954 Wider. More. That... 176 00:13:56,026 --> 00:13:57,685 Oh, yeah. 177 00:13:57,759 --> 00:13:59,988 The tongue is the billboard to the bowels, Mr. Lightbody... 178 00:14:00,063 --> 00:14:03,293 and this piece of furry flesh between my fingers shouts S-l-C-K, sick. 179 00:14:03,366 --> 00:14:07,891 You're a sick man, sir. As severe a case of autointoxication as I've ever seen. 180 00:14:07,968 --> 00:14:11,334 Is there anything you can do? We're both tremendous believers in your methods. 181 00:14:11,404 --> 00:14:14,896 I am, anyway. But Will is really keen to learn. Aren't you? 182 00:14:14,973 --> 00:14:16,907 - Uh... - You've come to the right place. 183 00:14:16,975 --> 00:14:20,340 But we are merely lifeguards at watch on the shores of the alimentary canal. 184 00:14:20,412 --> 00:14:22,641 A wheelchair immediately for Mr. Lightbody! Hurry! 185 00:14:22,714 --> 00:14:26,115 I don't need a wheelchair. I do not need a wheelchair. 186 00:14:26,183 --> 00:14:29,949 Sir, I am a doctor, and you take my word for it. You are in need of a wheelchair. 187 00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:32,885 Wheelchairs are for amputees, for Civil War veterans... 188 00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:35,650 old people with one foot in the grave. 189 00:14:35,725 --> 00:14:38,693 Lucky if you have only one foot in the grave, because I can help you. 190 00:14:38,761 --> 00:14:41,558 Two feet in and your money will be better spent with an undertaker. 191 00:14:41,629 --> 00:14:43,894 Mr. Johnston, I want the finest care for this gentleman. 192 00:14:43,965 --> 00:14:47,901 So get the very best attendant. Graves. Yes, get Nurse Graves. 193 00:14:47,968 --> 00:14:50,333 Hey, one foot in the grave! Ha! 194 00:14:50,402 --> 00:14:53,270 I will see to you personally first thing in the morning. 195 00:14:53,339 --> 00:14:55,771 - If you're still alive, that is. - Thank you. 196 00:14:55,841 --> 00:14:57,901 Thank you, ma'am. 197 00:14:59,276 --> 00:15:01,267 Frank! 198 00:15:01,347 --> 00:15:03,642 Oh, darling, it's Dr. Linniman who I told you about... 199 00:15:03,713 --> 00:15:06,409 who looked after me so wonderfully well the last time... you remember. 200 00:15:06,483 --> 00:15:08,111 No, I don't remember. 201 00:15:08,184 --> 00:15:10,014 How are you? 202 00:15:10,086 --> 00:15:12,212 Oh, it's heaven to be back. 203 00:15:12,287 --> 00:15:16,052 It's good to see you again. Eleanor, you've lost weight. 204 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:19,390 Wait. I want my wife! 205 00:15:32,437 --> 00:15:34,371 - You Charles Ossining? - Yes! 206 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,429 Mr. Bender says you're to come with me. 207 00:15:36,507 --> 00:15:38,839 Thank God, boy! Where's the cab? 208 00:15:38,908 --> 00:15:40,968 No cab, sir. Mr. Bender said to walk. 209 00:15:42,011 --> 00:15:44,480 He did, did he? Is it far? 210 00:15:44,548 --> 00:15:46,481 It wouldn't be if we weren't walkin'. 211 00:15:56,891 --> 00:15:59,917 - Where are you taking me? - Your room. Your wife will go to hers. 212 00:15:59,994 --> 00:16:02,358 - We're together. - Oh, no, sir. That just wouldn't do. 213 00:16:02,427 --> 00:16:04,589 If you get my meaning? 214 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:08,929 Up, please, Harold. Best air in the place. Lovely view too. 215 00:16:15,337 --> 00:16:17,603 Hello, Irene. Here he is. 216 00:16:17,675 --> 00:16:19,800 Welcome to the San. I'm Nurse Graves... 217 00:16:19,876 --> 00:16:22,343 and I'll be your personal nurse during your stay here. 218 00:16:23,979 --> 00:16:26,639 Ah, you must be tuckered, sir, what with all that rail travel. 219 00:16:26,713 --> 00:16:30,740 Terrible. Shakes you up like an eggnog. 220 00:17:03,879 --> 00:17:06,677 Here we are. Nice, cheery room. 221 00:17:07,549 --> 00:17:10,540 Torture. Worse than the Spanish Inquisition. 222 00:17:10,618 --> 00:17:13,110 - Torture? - Rail travel. 223 00:17:13,187 --> 00:17:16,053 Well, I will bid you good night... 224 00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:19,420 and leave you in the capable hands of Nurse Graves. 225 00:17:19,491 --> 00:17:21,686 - Night, Irene. - Good night, Ralph. 226 00:17:23,294 --> 00:17:24,693 Undress, please. 227 00:17:27,633 --> 00:17:31,762 - You're very beautiful, Irene. - Please. Don't talk, Mr. Lightbody. 228 00:17:31,836 --> 00:17:34,065 Not in your condition. 229 00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:37,662 Now, we're gonna have you asleep in no time at all. 230 00:17:37,739 --> 00:17:39,263 But it's only 6:00. 231 00:17:39,341 --> 00:17:42,537 And I haven't slept a wink in 22 days. 232 00:17:42,611 --> 00:17:46,877 Well, tonight you'll sleep like a baby. That's why I'm here. 233 00:17:48,281 --> 00:17:50,408 Now, I want you to relax. 234 00:17:51,985 --> 00:17:54,010 And I'll be back later to give you your bath. 235 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:06,121 Where are you taking me? I thought Mr. Bender was staying at the Post Tavern! 236 00:18:06,198 --> 00:18:09,063 He is. Only you're up there. 237 00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:13,295 $3.25 a week due every Saturday. 238 00:18:13,369 --> 00:18:18,501 Breakfast at 7:00, dinner at 1:00, supper at 6:30... 239 00:18:18,574 --> 00:18:21,372 and she wants a week in advance. 240 00:18:37,256 --> 00:18:40,121 I'm sorry, Nurse, but I think that I'm hallucinating. 241 00:18:40,191 --> 00:18:43,181 Just kneel in the bath, please, Mr. Lightbody. 242 00:18:44,628 --> 00:18:50,361 I don't know what's wrong with me. Ever since I got here, I keep seeing... 243 00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:53,129 I came here with my wife, you know. 244 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,534 Oh, yes, I know. She's on the second floor, room 212. 245 00:18:57,905 --> 00:18:59,371 She won't be staying here? 246 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:02,499 Oh, no. All couples are kept separate here, Mr. Lightbody. 247 00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,099 - They are? - Of course. 248 00:19:04,178 --> 00:19:06,145 Our patients need complete rest. 249 00:19:06,211 --> 00:19:09,477 Any sexual stimulation could be fatal. 250 00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,948 Now, I want you to relax. 251 00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:16,918 - What is that? - This... is a colonic wash. 252 00:19:16,988 --> 00:19:19,547 It is hot paraffin, soap and tepid water. 253 00:19:19,623 --> 00:19:21,889 Now, bend over a little bit please. 254 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,449 There. Just relax, Mr. Lightbody... 255 00:19:24,529 --> 00:19:26,894 and we will purge you of all that ails you. 256 00:19:26,964 --> 00:19:30,056 Oh, but I don't even eat meat. Not anymore, anyway. 257 00:19:30,131 --> 00:19:32,930 Just relax. It'll all be over in a second. 258 00:19:33,001 --> 00:19:36,960 No, l... Honestly, lately it's just beet tops and savory broth. 259 00:19:37,037 --> 00:19:41,098 Your intestines are probably putrid with disease and germs. 260 00:19:41,174 --> 00:19:42,869 Nurse Graves... 261 00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:47,537 I have to confess to you that I'm very sexually stimulated. 262 00:19:47,612 --> 00:19:49,602 I think that I have an erection. 263 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,615 Clean thoughts make for clean bowels, Mr. Lightbody. 264 00:19:52,683 --> 00:19:55,673 Please, just try and think of me as one of nature's nuns... 265 00:19:55,753 --> 00:19:57,617 here at the temple of health. 266 00:20:04,426 --> 00:20:06,290 One card, my dear sir. 267 00:20:06,361 --> 00:20:08,091 Is your wife still available? 268 00:20:09,563 --> 00:20:11,361 It's room 25, sir. 269 00:20:38,589 --> 00:20:40,817 Ah, Charles! You made it! 270 00:20:42,224 --> 00:20:43,988 So sorry I couldn't be there to meet you. 271 00:20:44,060 --> 00:20:46,391 But I was busy cultivating the garden of business. 272 00:20:46,461 --> 00:20:49,328 These gentlemen behind me are the very princes of this town. 273 00:20:49,397 --> 00:20:52,695 Pillars. Important people. How are your lodgings? 274 00:20:52,767 --> 00:20:54,630 Disgusting. Why didn't you put me up here? 275 00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:56,600 Tut, tut, Charles. We're on a budget. 276 00:20:56,668 --> 00:20:59,727 We can't throw your good aunt's money around now, can we? 277 00:20:59,805 --> 00:21:02,240 - But you're staying here! - Show, Charles. All show. 278 00:21:02,307 --> 00:21:05,674 For the gentlemen at the table. Did you bring Mrs. Hookstratten's check? 279 00:21:05,743 --> 00:21:08,974 Yes, and she's very anxious to hear about the factory site you've acquired. 280 00:21:09,048 --> 00:21:10,673 - Ah, the factory. - And the ovens. 281 00:21:10,747 --> 00:21:13,909 Ah, the ovens. There's been a slight hiccup. There are no ovens. 282 00:21:13,983 --> 00:21:16,748 But you wrote that the Vita-Malta flake factory came with ovens. 283 00:21:16,819 --> 00:21:20,185 There are no ovens, because, alas, there is no factory. 284 00:21:20,256 --> 00:21:24,487 There's no factory? Bender, in your letter... 285 00:21:24,559 --> 00:21:28,050 Goodloe. Charles, please. Call me Goodloe. 286 00:21:28,128 --> 00:21:31,359 We are partners, after all. Would you like a brandy? 287 00:21:31,432 --> 00:21:34,161 I don't want a brandy! I want an explanation! 288 00:21:34,232 --> 00:21:37,463 It's true, I almost had a factory. 289 00:21:37,537 --> 00:21:40,097 But the thief I was dealing with wanted rather too much for the lease... 290 00:21:40,173 --> 00:21:42,300 and I lacked the necessary spondulicks. 291 00:21:42,373 --> 00:21:45,468 - Spondulicks? - Capital, Charles. 292 00:21:45,543 --> 00:21:47,943 Money. As in "running short of." 293 00:21:48,012 --> 00:21:53,916 Do you mean that you have spent the whole of the start-up money already? 294 00:21:53,983 --> 00:21:58,214 Please, please. Not in front of company. Step into my office. 295 00:21:58,288 --> 00:22:00,277 I know you're probably tired after the trip. 296 00:22:00,354 --> 00:22:04,722 And it might seem that I'm living it up here in the lap of luxury. 297 00:22:04,791 --> 00:22:08,125 Now you listen to me, you jumped-up streak of pompous piss. 298 00:22:08,195 --> 00:22:10,855 You don't think you could start a company like Per-Fo just like that! 299 00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:13,160 - You've stolen my aunt's money. - It's not stealing! 300 00:22:13,232 --> 00:22:15,632 It's capitalism, you ignorant prick! 301 00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:19,602 And palms are the wheels of capitalism, and they have to be greased, boy. 302 00:22:19,669 --> 00:22:21,900 I'm not your boy, Bender. Get that straight! 303 00:22:21,973 --> 00:22:25,408 Charles, Charles. It all takes money. 304 00:22:25,476 --> 00:22:29,501 You had money! You had my aunt's money, and now you've pissed it all away! 305 00:22:29,578 --> 00:22:33,378 Ah, but you're forgetting one thing. We have a great product. 306 00:22:33,448 --> 00:22:37,611 - We don't have anything! - You're wrong, Charles. You're wrong. 307 00:22:38,753 --> 00:22:43,381 We have cartons. Beautiful Per-Fo cornflake cartons. 308 00:22:43,457 --> 00:22:45,049 And why is it a great product? 309 00:22:45,125 --> 00:22:49,389 Because " it perks up tired blood and exonerates the bowels." 310 00:22:49,462 --> 00:22:51,520 - Didn't you write that? - I did write that. 311 00:22:51,598 --> 00:22:53,860 - It's brilliant. - It's good. 312 00:22:53,931 --> 00:22:56,160 It's an inspiration, is what it is. 313 00:22:56,234 --> 00:22:58,203 It's good. I know it's good. 314 00:23:00,037 --> 00:23:04,336 But you can't sell empty boxes no matter what it does to the bowels. 315 00:23:04,408 --> 00:23:07,738 It has to mean something. We have to make something. 316 00:23:07,810 --> 00:23:12,143 Something that tastes great and is easy to prepare. 317 00:23:12,215 --> 00:23:15,909 - Something good for you. - Right! Health! 318 00:23:15,983 --> 00:23:18,507 The "open sesame" to the sucker's purse. 319 00:24:05,256 --> 00:24:08,020 - Who are you? - George. 320 00:24:08,092 --> 00:24:09,491 I'm called George. 321 00:24:11,564 --> 00:24:13,325 What's your name? 322 00:24:15,432 --> 00:24:18,959 Eleanor Lightbody. Do you work here? 323 00:24:22,872 --> 00:24:24,338 I'm Dr. Kellogg's son. 324 00:24:25,308 --> 00:24:29,402 - Not his real son. I'm adopted. - Oh, of course. 325 00:24:29,476 --> 00:24:31,034 He adopted lots of us. 326 00:24:31,110 --> 00:24:33,203 Yes, I know. 327 00:24:34,147 --> 00:24:37,138 I've got 39 brothers and sisters. Lucky, aren't I? 328 00:24:38,083 --> 00:24:39,676 Yes, that's very nice. 329 00:24:42,622 --> 00:24:45,182 But why are you here? 330 00:24:46,823 --> 00:24:48,381 I came for my allowance. 331 00:24:51,729 --> 00:24:53,662 And I like to look at the nude ladies. 332 00:25:01,103 --> 00:25:03,432 You have a very nice body, Mrs. Nicebody. 333 00:25:03,503 --> 00:25:05,937 Lightbody. Mrs. Lightbody. 334 00:25:06,007 --> 00:25:08,200 My mother had a nice body. 335 00:25:09,075 --> 00:25:10,441 She did? 336 00:25:14,114 --> 00:25:15,945 She was a whore. 337 00:25:20,317 --> 00:25:21,749 She was? 338 00:25:35,296 --> 00:25:37,788 In Chicago. 339 00:25:37,866 --> 00:25:40,698 She was dead when the doctor took me in. 340 00:25:41,435 --> 00:25:43,231 They found me sitting by her dead body. 341 00:26:13,127 --> 00:26:14,719 George Kellogg! 342 00:26:24,370 --> 00:26:25,804 Come here. 343 00:26:35,078 --> 00:26:37,012 Your coat, George. Where's your coat? 344 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:39,014 Look at me. 345 00:26:40,850 --> 00:26:43,512 Why don't you ever speak, George? 346 00:26:45,085 --> 00:26:49,580 It is of great distress to me, to Mrs. Kellogg, to your brothers and sisters. 347 00:26:49,659 --> 00:26:52,626 Your coat, George. Your coat is on the floor, not on the hook. 348 00:26:53,395 --> 00:26:57,260 How many times must you be told to hang your coat up on the hook? 349 00:26:57,331 --> 00:26:59,494 Speak to me. 350 00:27:02,734 --> 00:27:03,927 Hannah! 351 00:27:06,706 --> 00:27:08,139 Yes, sir, Doctor. 352 00:27:08,206 --> 00:27:13,200 You will supervise. George will enter this house, close the door... 353 00:27:13,278 --> 00:27:16,303 climb the stairs, remove his jacket and hang it on its hook. 354 00:27:16,379 --> 00:27:18,210 He will do so until bedtime... 355 00:27:18,281 --> 00:27:22,512 and then continue after breakfast until this time tomorrow. 356 00:27:22,585 --> 00:27:26,145 Until 4:00 tomorrow. Is that understood? 357 00:27:26,222 --> 00:27:28,486 Yes, sir, Doctor. Understood. 358 00:27:38,397 --> 00:27:39,694 Sir! 359 00:27:39,765 --> 00:27:42,495 I said until 4:00 p.m. It is now 7:00. 360 00:27:42,567 --> 00:27:46,833 He won't stop, sir. We've tried to, all of us, but he won't take any notice. 361 00:27:47,705 --> 00:27:50,004 George, that's enough now. You've learned your lesson. 362 00:27:50,076 --> 00:27:52,975 Run off to your supper. 363 00:27:53,042 --> 00:27:55,408 George, stop this moment, I say. 364 00:27:57,246 --> 00:27:58,373 Stop, I say! 365 00:28:00,415 --> 00:28:05,443 Very well, suit yourself. I have work to do. You'll continue until you drop. 366 00:28:56,161 --> 00:28:59,061 George, stop this madness immediately! 367 00:29:00,299 --> 00:29:04,734 Stop it. George, stop, stop, stop! 368 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,564 Stop it! 369 00:29:07,638 --> 00:29:09,901 George, I'm so sorry. 370 00:29:09,973 --> 00:29:15,170 I'm sorry. Please, please go to your room and sleep. 371 00:29:36,428 --> 00:29:39,090 Oh, Virginia, isn't this wonderful? 372 00:29:39,163 --> 00:29:42,655 Don't you sometimes feel you're in the healthiest spot on the whole planet? 373 00:29:42,733 --> 00:29:46,170 My dear Eleanor, there is no greater pleasure for a woman... 374 00:29:46,235 --> 00:29:48,464 than bicycling in one's bloomers. 375 00:29:48,537 --> 00:29:52,371 You know, bicycling for women is still very much frowned upon in Peterskill. 376 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:53,930 Oh, what they're missing. 377 00:29:55,277 --> 00:29:57,904 Fresh air, the exercise! 378 00:29:57,979 --> 00:30:01,608 And the pleasure of a leather saddle between one's thighs. 379 00:30:01,681 --> 00:30:03,649 Oh, Virginia, what do you mean? 380 00:30:03,717 --> 00:30:07,617 "Bicycle smile," I believe they call it. It's changed my life. 381 00:30:07,686 --> 00:30:09,346 I'm afraid I don't follow. 382 00:30:09,421 --> 00:30:13,186 My dear, I have very little use for my husband... 383 00:30:13,257 --> 00:30:15,418 in the sexual gratification department. 384 00:30:15,493 --> 00:30:19,861 And so I find a long ride on my bicycle once a week does the trick. 385 00:30:21,430 --> 00:30:23,591 Come on, you two! Keep up. You're lagging. 386 00:30:23,668 --> 00:30:28,569 You go ahead, Eleanor. I feel a smile coming on. 387 00:30:35,943 --> 00:30:36,144 Every woman, every man 388 00:30:36,144 --> 00:30:40,476 Every woman, every man 389 00:30:40,545 --> 00:30:44,642 - Is at the temple of health - Nurse Graves? Irene? 390 00:30:45,751 --> 00:30:48,879 I'm Nurse Bloethal. Would you join me in the bathroom, please? 391 00:30:48,953 --> 00:30:51,787 I've already had one of those. 392 00:30:51,856 --> 00:30:54,881 Well, now you get another. 393 00:31:39,263 --> 00:31:40,729 Sir? 394 00:31:42,297 --> 00:31:44,593 Bender, Mr. Bender. Fetch him this instant. 395 00:32:54,123 --> 00:32:56,613 - Where the hell have you been? - Please, Charles, please. 396 00:32:56,692 --> 00:32:58,716 You're making a scene. Have a seat. 397 00:32:58,792 --> 00:33:00,760 Are you hungry? You must be. 398 00:33:00,829 --> 00:33:04,230 We had an appointment. We're supposed to be out looking for factories. 399 00:33:04,297 --> 00:33:07,357 Ah, slipped my mind. 400 00:33:07,433 --> 00:33:09,595 Delmonico steak, rare, for this gentleman. 401 00:33:09,668 --> 00:33:13,968 Smothered with onions and a plate of your delicious fried potatoes. 402 00:33:14,039 --> 00:33:16,097 - You look starved. - We're supposed to be on a budget! 403 00:33:16,174 --> 00:33:18,800 Hello. I'm George. 404 00:33:20,578 --> 00:33:23,068 Meet my luncheon companion, George Kellogg. 405 00:33:23,147 --> 00:33:26,842 Charles Ossining. Pleased to meet you. Did you say "Kellogg"? 406 00:33:26,916 --> 00:33:28,577 Mm-hmm. 407 00:33:28,650 --> 00:33:32,587 George has the proud distinction of being John Harvey Kellogg's son. 408 00:33:34,290 --> 00:33:35,916 The doctor's a very great man. 409 00:33:35,991 --> 00:33:38,083 He's a fuck pig. I hate him. 410 00:33:41,127 --> 00:33:45,997 Charles, this worthless bundle of piss and vomit beneath our table... 411 00:33:46,065 --> 00:33:48,861 is the good doctor's estranged adopted son. 412 00:33:48,934 --> 00:33:53,530 - No love lost between them, I'm afraid. - Did you say "worthless"? 413 00:33:53,605 --> 00:33:56,835 - Yeah. - Goodloe, hear me now. 414 00:33:56,908 --> 00:33:59,238 This man is the key to our fortune. 415 00:33:59,309 --> 00:34:01,139 You need your steak. You're delirious. 416 00:34:01,211 --> 00:34:03,701 - What if we made him our partner? - You're most certainly delirious. 417 00:34:04,512 --> 00:34:07,778 - Where the hell is this man's luncheon? - The name! 418 00:34:07,850 --> 00:34:10,944 The magic name. Kellogg. 419 00:34:11,019 --> 00:34:14,386 The good doctor's brother has spent millions advertising it. 420 00:34:14,453 --> 00:34:16,513 Don't you see? It's so simple! 421 00:34:16,590 --> 00:34:19,718 - We become... - Ah! 422 00:34:19,793 --> 00:34:22,660 Kellogg's Per-Fo Incorporated! 423 00:34:23,864 --> 00:34:25,694 It's brilliant, Charles. 424 00:34:25,765 --> 00:34:29,028 You are brilliant. There's no doubt. 425 00:34:29,099 --> 00:34:33,160 I feel a wind crackling with banknotes blowing in our direction. 426 00:34:34,405 --> 00:34:35,995 - But maybe it's... - It's what? 427 00:34:36,072 --> 00:34:38,563 Maybe it's a tad dishonest. 428 00:34:38,641 --> 00:34:40,439 It's enterprise. 429 00:34:40,510 --> 00:34:44,969 It's the lifeblood that pumps through the veins of this wonderful country. 430 00:34:45,047 --> 00:34:46,605 It's a stroke of genius. 431 00:34:48,048 --> 00:34:51,848 Lift up your eyes. Look. What do you see? 432 00:34:53,319 --> 00:34:55,981 - Wellville. - Yes! 433 00:34:58,657 --> 00:35:02,526 The shining spires of Wellville, gleaming in the sun. 434 00:35:02,595 --> 00:35:05,085 A magical land of health and money. 435 00:35:05,163 --> 00:35:08,361 It's a good idea, if I do say so myself. It is a great idea! 436 00:35:08,432 --> 00:35:10,367 You are a genius, Charles. 437 00:35:10,434 --> 00:35:14,597 You know, last night I awoke to the sound of spoons. 438 00:35:14,671 --> 00:35:16,535 - Spoons? - Millions of them. 439 00:35:16,607 --> 00:35:18,870 Rattling against a hundred million breakfast bowls... 440 00:35:18,941 --> 00:35:20,804 brimming with our cornflakes. 441 00:35:20,875 --> 00:35:22,808 Listen, Charles. 442 00:35:24,978 --> 00:35:26,469 What do you hear? 443 00:35:30,251 --> 00:35:32,377 The sound of money! 444 00:35:51,635 --> 00:35:53,727 Where would you like to sit, sir? 445 00:35:53,802 --> 00:35:56,964 - I was looking for my wife, actually. - Here's a menu, sir. 446 00:35:57,039 --> 00:35:59,667 The nut Lisbon steak with the gluten gravy looks delicious today. 447 00:35:59,742 --> 00:36:02,835 No. Toast. Dry toast and water. 448 00:36:06,914 --> 00:36:08,847 Won't you join us? 449 00:36:10,316 --> 00:36:12,113 Introductions, please, Mr. Hart-Jones. 450 00:36:12,184 --> 00:36:13,743 Endymion Hart-Jones. 451 00:36:13,819 --> 00:36:16,082 No, I'll just have the toast. 452 00:36:16,153 --> 00:36:19,215 That's my name. I'm not on the menu. 453 00:36:19,291 --> 00:36:21,283 This is Mrs. Tindermarsh. 454 00:36:21,359 --> 00:36:24,794 Miss Muntz you've met, I believe. 455 00:36:24,862 --> 00:36:26,888 The Russian gentleman at the end we call Mr. Unpronounceable... 456 00:36:26,963 --> 00:36:30,421 is from Saint Petersburg, and neither speaks nor understands English. 457 00:36:34,369 --> 00:36:36,733 Do smile at him. He has chronic wind, poor fellow. 458 00:36:42,909 --> 00:36:47,277 - Will Lightbody. - Eleanor's husband. What a pleasure. 459 00:36:49,615 --> 00:36:53,074 - Sore rectum? - Yes, somewhat. 460 00:36:53,152 --> 00:36:56,018 The enemas take some getting used to, but in time you'll learn... 461 00:36:56,086 --> 00:36:58,282 to look forward to them like an old friend with a cold nose. 462 00:36:58,356 --> 00:37:02,017 I must say five a day does seem a bit too, well, purgative. 463 00:37:02,091 --> 00:37:03,185 Five? 464 00:37:03,260 --> 00:37:08,127 The doctor is rather addicted to his enemas as befits a broom maker's son. 465 00:37:10,499 --> 00:37:13,491 I understand he got the idea in India. He was studying... 466 00:37:13,569 --> 00:37:16,298 Africa. It was Africa. 467 00:37:16,372 --> 00:37:19,429 Africa, India. Anyway... 468 00:37:19,506 --> 00:37:24,739 he was studying apes that apparently ate and pooed, as it were, simultaneously. 469 00:37:24,811 --> 00:37:28,371 Oh. Well, I don't eat very much. I don't eat very much at all. 470 00:37:28,447 --> 00:37:30,813 But the apes suffer not in the slightest... 471 00:37:30,883 --> 00:37:33,180 from the ailments that afflict the civilized bowel. 472 00:37:33,250 --> 00:37:35,946 We're all too house-trained, Mrs. Tindermarsh. 473 00:37:36,020 --> 00:37:39,648 But we couldn't go around evacuating at will, Mr. Hart-Jones. 474 00:37:39,722 --> 00:37:41,622 The mess would be frightful. 475 00:37:41,691 --> 00:37:44,022 Do you masticate, Mr. Lightbody? 476 00:37:44,093 --> 00:37:45,583 Do I what? 477 00:37:45,661 --> 00:37:46,958 Masticate? 478 00:37:47,697 --> 00:37:49,994 You're not a follower of Horace Fletcher? 479 00:37:50,065 --> 00:37:51,792 Fletcherize. 480 00:37:53,134 --> 00:37:56,830 - You really must chew, Mr. Lightbody. - Oh. 481 00:37:57,638 --> 00:38:02,506 One, two, three, four. 482 00:38:02,574 --> 00:38:06,511 Chew, chew, chew That is the thing to do 483 00:38:06,580 --> 00:38:08,102 Chew, chew, chew 484 00:38:08,180 --> 00:38:10,408 Good food is good for you 485 00:38:10,481 --> 00:38:12,449 Chew, chew, chew 486 00:38:12,516 --> 00:38:14,507 But only if you chew 487 00:38:14,586 --> 00:38:18,042 That is the right thing to do 488 00:38:51,883 --> 00:38:55,409 Poor thing has eaten nothing but toast for days. He's probably a little weak. 489 00:38:55,485 --> 00:38:57,419 Drink the water, Mr. Lightbody. 490 00:39:01,357 --> 00:39:02,947 I think I fainted. Ellie. 491 00:39:03,023 --> 00:39:05,015 We'll leave you to it, Mrs. Lightbody. 492 00:39:05,092 --> 00:39:06,993 It's all right, Will. Everything's fine. 493 00:39:07,061 --> 00:39:09,426 Oh, I miss you, Eleanor. 494 00:39:09,495 --> 00:39:12,396 I miss... I miss your kindness. 495 00:39:12,466 --> 00:39:14,228 But I'm here, Will. I'm here now. 496 00:39:14,300 --> 00:39:16,598 I'm scared, EI. I want to go home. 497 00:39:16,668 --> 00:39:19,728 - No, please. Pull yourself together. - I wanna go home! 498 00:39:19,805 --> 00:39:21,533 Please, you're making an exhibition of yourself! 499 00:39:21,606 --> 00:39:23,540 I just won't let you spoil this for me. 500 00:39:27,779 --> 00:39:30,474 I don't like this place. I want to go home. 501 00:39:31,214 --> 00:39:32,908 But we both made a promise. 502 00:39:32,980 --> 00:39:35,072 We're not well. Neither of us. 503 00:39:35,149 --> 00:39:37,880 Don't you see we can never be happy until we're healthy again? 504 00:39:37,954 --> 00:39:40,820 It's such a small sacrifice for all the happy years ahead of us. 505 00:39:40,888 --> 00:39:43,153 But I feel violated here. 506 00:39:43,225 --> 00:39:44,885 I give up. 507 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,892 I love you, Eleanor, sick as I am. 508 00:39:46,961 --> 00:39:48,860 I'm sick too. I'm sick of your self-pity. 509 00:39:48,929 --> 00:39:52,159 Can't you see this is the only place where I'm completely happy? 510 00:39:52,231 --> 00:39:55,529 Eleanor, I know it's been hard for you, but it's these people. 511 00:39:55,601 --> 00:39:59,763 These good people were at my side when I had my baby. You weren't. 512 00:39:59,837 --> 00:40:02,774 You told me to stay away. You made me stay away. 513 00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:06,297 I was in Peterskill chewing at my insides waiting for your telegram. 514 00:40:06,374 --> 00:40:09,242 - I wanted to come. - You were a useless drunk! 515 00:40:09,313 --> 00:40:12,371 I didn't want you near me, and I certainly didn't want you near my baby! 516 00:40:12,447 --> 00:40:15,142 By the time you'd sobered up, our baby was dead! 517 00:40:23,690 --> 00:40:26,283 I'm sorry. 518 00:40:26,359 --> 00:40:28,519 I'm truly sorry. 519 00:40:39,403 --> 00:40:42,929 Is something wrong? What's the matter? 520 00:40:49,612 --> 00:40:51,375 So why on earth did you bring him here? 521 00:40:51,446 --> 00:40:54,643 I had to. He's very sick. 522 00:40:54,715 --> 00:40:57,980 - And in a way, it's all my fault. - Oh, rubbish. 523 00:40:58,051 --> 00:40:59,847 It's true, Virginia. 524 00:40:59,919 --> 00:41:04,517 You see, I poisoned him. 525 00:41:04,591 --> 00:41:07,582 You poisoned him? When? 526 00:41:07,660 --> 00:41:10,321 How? Strychnine? Arsenic? 527 00:41:10,394 --> 00:41:12,295 It wasn't deliberate. I didn't mean to hurt him. 528 00:41:12,363 --> 00:41:15,060 He used to take Hostetter's Bitters for his stomach and... 529 00:41:15,133 --> 00:41:18,465 Don't tell me... 80% alcohol. Wonderful stuff. 530 00:41:18,537 --> 00:41:20,936 I used to take it for my monthly. 531 00:41:21,004 --> 00:41:24,940 Then he went on to drinking a whole bottle of Old Crow a night. 532 00:41:25,009 --> 00:41:28,000 He was like a stranger. And he always wanted... 533 00:41:28,076 --> 00:41:29,406 Sex? 534 00:41:31,547 --> 00:41:33,138 - It was... - Don't tell me. 535 00:41:33,213 --> 00:41:36,651 Grunt, grunt, thank you very much. Good night, spit, snore. 536 00:41:36,717 --> 00:41:41,210 - It wasn't that I didn't want him... - Marriage is legalized prostitution. 537 00:41:41,289 --> 00:41:44,848 I wanted to be more than a hole in the mattress that answers to a name. 538 00:41:45,390 --> 00:41:46,584 Amen. 539 00:41:47,692 --> 00:41:52,253 So I saw this cure for drunkenness in the Lily magazine. 540 00:41:52,329 --> 00:41:56,823 The Sears White Star Liquor Cure, it was called. 541 00:41:56,900 --> 00:42:00,493 And I used to slip a drop into his coffee each evening... 542 00:42:00,570 --> 00:42:02,504 and he slept. 543 00:42:03,673 --> 00:42:08,610 He didn't go out or get drunk, he just slept and slept. 544 00:42:08,678 --> 00:42:12,304 It was... It was wonderful. 545 00:42:12,378 --> 00:42:17,475 But then when I was here last, he found the bottle and had it analyzed. 546 00:42:17,549 --> 00:42:19,483 What was in it? 547 00:42:22,055 --> 00:42:23,919 The juice of the poppy. 548 00:42:25,057 --> 00:42:26,956 Opium? 549 00:42:28,660 --> 00:42:30,592 Yes. 550 00:42:31,696 --> 00:42:35,631 I'd turned him into an opium addict. 551 00:42:35,697 --> 00:42:39,258 He had terrible nightmares. 552 00:42:39,333 --> 00:42:42,235 And finally his stomach just completely gave up on him and... 553 00:42:47,141 --> 00:42:51,839 Supposing he dies, just like my baby died. 554 00:42:51,911 --> 00:42:53,970 Oh, everything's my fault. 555 00:42:58,018 --> 00:43:02,009 I want so much to love him. 556 00:43:02,087 --> 00:43:05,488 I've... I've just forgotten how. 557 00:43:31,311 --> 00:43:33,245 Who is that man? 558 00:43:33,311 --> 00:43:36,042 Bartholomew Bookbinder. One of Kellogg's top men. 559 00:43:36,114 --> 00:43:40,743 And now he works for us. He's good, and he's cheap. 560 00:43:40,817 --> 00:43:42,909 Never heard of him. 561 00:43:42,986 --> 00:43:46,046 - You've never heard of him? - No. 562 00:43:46,122 --> 00:43:48,717 - You know of him? - No. 563 00:43:48,791 --> 00:43:50,019 - Seen him around? - Nope. 564 00:43:50,093 --> 00:43:52,027 - The name must ring a bell. - Nope. 565 00:44:16,547 --> 00:44:17,810 Here she is. 566 00:44:20,016 --> 00:44:24,510 It doesn't seem very... well... hygienic. 567 00:44:27,557 --> 00:44:31,685 Don't be petty, Charles. From humble beginnings... 568 00:44:37,632 --> 00:44:40,794 Gentlemen, I think a little celebration... 569 00:44:40,867 --> 00:44:42,630 is called for. 570 00:44:42,703 --> 00:44:44,694 Charles, please... 571 00:44:44,771 --> 00:44:46,795 as president and chief... 572 00:44:46,871 --> 00:44:49,533 I think a few choice words from you... 573 00:44:49,606 --> 00:44:51,802 are in order. 574 00:44:56,213 --> 00:44:58,908 To our prosperous futures. 575 00:45:01,318 --> 00:45:04,443 No, no, no, no. 576 00:45:04,519 --> 00:45:08,478 To the shining spires of Wellville. 577 00:45:09,623 --> 00:45:10,715 To Wellville. 578 00:45:17,597 --> 00:45:20,361 We love good food! 579 00:45:20,433 --> 00:45:24,128 No fish or fowl... 580 00:45:24,203 --> 00:45:29,334 is a friend of the bowel. 581 00:45:29,406 --> 00:45:32,740 We eat good food. 582 00:45:32,809 --> 00:45:36,074 Puts us in a... 583 00:45:36,147 --> 00:45:38,273 good mood. 584 00:45:41,450 --> 00:45:44,783 Ah, Mr. Lightbody, good morning. I hope I haven't kept you waiting. 585 00:45:44,853 --> 00:45:47,823 - Have a pomegranate. - I don't think that I ought to... 586 00:45:47,889 --> 00:45:51,950 No? Antitoxic. The finest roughage God ever provided. 587 00:45:52,026 --> 00:45:53,958 Off with the robe, please. 588 00:45:58,431 --> 00:45:59,897 A sample of your stool, please. 589 00:45:59,965 --> 00:46:01,523 Here? Now? 590 00:46:01,601 --> 00:46:03,191 Behind the screen, sir. 591 00:46:08,473 --> 00:46:12,202 You are autointoxicated, Mr. Lightbody. Quite frankly, it was obvious. 592 00:46:15,044 --> 00:46:18,605 Drawn features, dry hair, mournful expression, sunken eyes. 593 00:46:19,915 --> 00:46:21,440 Coated tongue. 594 00:46:25,954 --> 00:46:28,182 Now, ready? 595 00:46:36,161 --> 00:46:37,857 Is that it? 596 00:46:37,930 --> 00:46:39,590 Well, I don't eat very much. 597 00:46:39,664 --> 00:46:41,495 And with the enemas... 598 00:46:41,566 --> 00:46:44,328 Your stool, Mr. Lightbody, quite frankly, is pathetic. 599 00:46:44,401 --> 00:46:46,732 Formless, mushy and foul-smelling. 600 00:46:46,804 --> 00:46:49,397 - Take it away, Nurse. - How should they be? 601 00:46:49,472 --> 00:46:51,169 My own stools, sir, are perfect. 602 00:46:51,240 --> 00:46:54,472 They are gigantic and have no more odor than a hot biscuit. 603 00:46:54,544 --> 00:46:57,410 On to the Morris-Scope, if you will, please. 604 00:47:18,796 --> 00:47:20,456 Ha! Just as I thought! 605 00:47:20,531 --> 00:47:23,863 Mr. Lightbody, you, sir, are the reason why so many women... 606 00:47:23,935 --> 00:47:27,529 like your dear, beautiful wife, are old longer than they are young. 607 00:47:27,605 --> 00:47:29,435 But I've done everything I could to help her... 608 00:47:29,505 --> 00:47:31,371 to comfort her, to... 609 00:47:33,243 --> 00:47:37,644 Connubial relations, sir. Your natural urges. 610 00:47:37,712 --> 00:47:38,804 Sex. 611 00:47:39,546 --> 00:47:43,710 Candidly, Mr. Lightbody, the lump of flesh that dangles between your legs... 612 00:47:43,785 --> 00:47:45,843 is a dangerous weapon. 613 00:47:45,920 --> 00:47:48,512 It will have to be harnessed, locked away, retired. For both your sakes. 614 00:47:48,588 --> 00:47:51,648 But we don't... Well, not lately. Not for a long time. 615 00:47:51,724 --> 00:47:53,554 Not since the... 616 00:47:53,624 --> 00:47:56,718 It is my scientific conclusion that sex is unnecessary and dangerous. 617 00:47:56,794 --> 00:47:58,353 But isn't that a bit drastic? 618 00:47:58,431 --> 00:48:00,556 You cannot afford the loss of life-giving fluids. 619 00:48:00,631 --> 00:48:03,393 The shock to the system can be fatal. Please, blow into this. 620 00:48:06,169 --> 00:48:07,931 I get erections. 621 00:48:08,003 --> 00:48:10,300 - You get what? - Erections. 622 00:48:11,406 --> 00:48:14,203 He gets erections. 623 00:48:15,377 --> 00:48:18,904 I warn you, sir, an erection is a flagpole on your grave. 624 00:48:18,979 --> 00:48:20,412 I can't help it. 625 00:48:20,481 --> 00:48:24,849 You listen to me, Lightbody. Our baser appetites can and must be controlled. 626 00:48:24,918 --> 00:48:28,112 I myself am a monk with regard to the sexual intercourse... 627 00:48:28,186 --> 00:48:30,620 and hence I am a beacon of good fine health... 628 00:48:30,689 --> 00:48:32,623 and more importantly, so is my dear beautiful wife. 629 00:48:32,691 --> 00:48:34,156 - I didn't realize... - Fortunately, I can help you. 630 00:48:34,226 --> 00:48:37,022 - And so can someone else. - Who? 631 00:48:37,094 --> 00:48:39,496 - The Bulgarians. - The Bulgarians? 632 00:48:39,562 --> 00:48:43,522 The Bulgarians live longer than any other humans on earth, and you know why? 633 00:48:43,600 --> 00:48:45,658 No, I'm sorry, I don't know any Bulgarians. 634 00:48:46,567 --> 00:48:48,661 - Yogurt. - Yogurt? 635 00:48:48,737 --> 00:48:50,762 Nurse Graves! 636 00:48:51,506 --> 00:48:53,097 - Yes, Doctor? - Take Mr. Lightbody... 637 00:48:53,173 --> 00:48:55,803 to the yogurt room and give him 15 gallons. 638 00:48:55,877 --> 00:48:58,344 Oh, no, no, I can't eat 15 gallons of yogurt. 639 00:48:58,411 --> 00:49:01,847 Oh, it's not goin' in that end, Mr. Lightbody. 640 00:49:43,515 --> 00:49:45,346 But I get desires. 641 00:49:45,418 --> 00:49:48,146 You mustn't. Not at the San. 642 00:49:48,217 --> 00:49:50,277 It's very bad for your health. 643 00:49:51,187 --> 00:49:52,381 Erections? 644 00:49:52,456 --> 00:49:55,721 Yes! All the time. Since I got here. 645 00:49:55,793 --> 00:49:58,487 Ah, the silent killer of the night. 646 00:49:58,561 --> 00:50:02,257 They say nothing takes the rosiness from the cheeks... 647 00:50:02,332 --> 00:50:04,763 as fast as personal fornication. 648 00:50:14,774 --> 00:50:18,141 Oh, the pleasures of the sinusoidal bath. 649 00:50:18,210 --> 00:50:20,733 One of the doctor's better inventions. 650 00:50:20,812 --> 00:50:22,747 Feel the current tingle, Will? 651 00:50:22,815 --> 00:50:26,010 - I do. Isn't it dangerous? - Apparently not. 652 00:50:26,083 --> 00:50:28,813 Can you feel those electric ants nibbling at your privates? 653 00:50:28,885 --> 00:50:33,617 Fish. Fish! More like being eaten alive by fish. 654 00:50:34,491 --> 00:50:38,152 They say it's the equivalent of climbing the steps of the Washington Monument. 655 00:50:38,227 --> 00:50:42,594 - You don't even loosen your tie. - I think it's giving me an erection! 656 00:50:42,663 --> 00:50:45,188 More amperes, please, Mr. Woodbine. 657 00:50:46,432 --> 00:50:49,334 Let us brave the foothills of Mount Everest to... 658 00:50:53,739 --> 00:50:56,502 Nibble, nibble. 659 00:51:09,453 --> 00:51:11,782 In and out. 660 00:51:11,854 --> 00:51:15,382 In and out. 661 00:51:15,457 --> 00:51:18,084 Seize the air with your lungs. 662 00:51:18,159 --> 00:51:22,027 That's the way. In and out. 663 00:51:24,431 --> 00:51:27,456 Inhale, exhale the toxins. 664 00:51:36,808 --> 00:51:40,435 Well, I leave you to the warm threads of the doctor's electric blanket... 665 00:51:40,510 --> 00:51:43,140 one of his inventions that I fear will not catch on. 666 00:51:43,213 --> 00:51:45,179 Enjoy your little nap. 667 00:51:45,248 --> 00:51:49,116 I'm off to the warm embrace of my afternoon enema. 668 00:51:58,526 --> 00:51:59,824 Mr. Lightbody? 669 00:52:02,562 --> 00:52:04,223 It's Ida. 670 00:52:04,296 --> 00:52:06,958 - Ida Muntz. - Oh, Miss Muntz. 671 00:52:08,234 --> 00:52:10,427 How are you enjoying your stay at the San? 672 00:52:11,302 --> 00:52:13,362 Still feeling my way. 673 00:52:13,438 --> 00:52:15,202 Feeling any better? 674 00:52:15,274 --> 00:52:17,432 Ah, yes, lots. 675 00:52:17,507 --> 00:52:21,466 - And you? - About the same. 676 00:52:22,412 --> 00:52:25,038 Miss Muntz, please forgive me for asking... 677 00:52:25,114 --> 00:52:27,776 but what exactly is the matter with you? 678 00:52:27,850 --> 00:52:29,510 Oh, green sickness. 679 00:52:29,584 --> 00:52:32,178 Oh, green sickness. 680 00:52:33,289 --> 00:52:35,050 Don't you just hate the food? 681 00:52:35,121 --> 00:52:37,555 Well, I don't eat very much. 682 00:52:37,622 --> 00:52:40,524 Do you have a bad stomach? 683 00:52:41,359 --> 00:52:46,320 You have very kind eyes and a very noble nose. 684 00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:47,557 I do? 685 00:52:48,533 --> 00:52:52,263 Will, I have a confession to make. 686 00:52:52,336 --> 00:52:57,068 At nights I lay in my bed just across the hallway from you... 687 00:52:57,140 --> 00:53:00,701 and I think but for my green sickness, you might find me attractive. 688 00:53:00,777 --> 00:53:02,300 But I do. 689 00:53:02,377 --> 00:53:05,642 I look at myself in the mirror and think, " Who would kiss me? 690 00:53:05,714 --> 00:53:08,181 Who would make love to a plate of moldy bread?" 691 00:53:08,248 --> 00:53:11,218 Oh, don't say that, Miss Muntz. You mustn't say that. 692 00:53:11,284 --> 00:53:13,185 Can't you see my face? 693 00:53:13,254 --> 00:53:15,278 Yes, I see your face. 694 00:53:16,390 --> 00:53:17,822 Well? 695 00:53:17,891 --> 00:53:21,656 It's a bit pale, that's all. 696 00:53:24,797 --> 00:53:27,093 I've made up my mind. 697 00:53:27,163 --> 00:53:30,258 If I've been scheduled to die, I've decided to live. 698 00:53:32,804 --> 00:53:35,499 Could I ask you a very great favor? 699 00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:41,832 Inhale fresh air. Exhale the toxins. 700 00:53:41,911 --> 00:53:43,843 In and out. 701 00:53:48,682 --> 00:53:51,275 Seize the air with your lungs. 702 00:53:51,351 --> 00:53:53,285 That's the way. 703 00:53:54,955 --> 00:53:57,921 In and out. 704 00:53:57,990 --> 00:54:01,949 In, out. That's the ticket. 705 00:54:02,026 --> 00:54:03,754 In, out. 706 00:54:44,961 --> 00:54:47,292 Will, I came to say I'm sorry. 707 00:54:47,362 --> 00:54:48,920 For everything. 708 00:54:48,997 --> 00:54:51,557 It's okay. 709 00:54:51,634 --> 00:54:54,192 I just... I just want you to get better. 710 00:54:54,269 --> 00:54:57,864 I want us both to get better. It was wrong of me to blame you for the baby. 711 00:54:57,940 --> 00:54:59,908 It was my fault. 712 00:54:59,974 --> 00:55:02,465 No, I blame myself because I just wasn't healthy enough. 713 00:55:02,542 --> 00:55:04,736 That's why this is so important to me, don't you see? 714 00:55:04,811 --> 00:55:07,403 I do. 715 00:55:07,478 --> 00:55:10,778 I know you'll grow to love this place as much as I do. 716 00:55:10,849 --> 00:55:12,817 I'll try. 717 00:55:12,884 --> 00:55:16,149 I really will. That's a promise. 718 00:55:17,355 --> 00:55:19,381 And when we're both well... 719 00:55:19,457 --> 00:55:22,288 I want you to come to me. 720 00:55:22,358 --> 00:55:25,486 I want you to give me another baby. 721 00:55:42,976 --> 00:55:44,772 Not yet, not yet. 722 00:55:44,844 --> 00:55:46,471 In a month or so. 723 00:55:46,546 --> 00:55:49,070 - A month? - When we're both well. 724 00:55:50,749 --> 00:55:52,683 You're so beautiful. 725 00:55:57,720 --> 00:56:00,188 Mr. Lightbody! Mrs. Lightbody! 726 00:56:02,591 --> 00:56:05,492 Ellie! Eleanor, please! 727 00:56:05,561 --> 00:56:07,619 I'm very disappointed in you, Will. 728 00:56:09,164 --> 00:56:11,858 Please make sure you drink your milk. 729 00:56:11,932 --> 00:56:14,662 We only kissed. We didn't do anything. 730 00:56:14,735 --> 00:56:17,000 We were just talking. Just talking. 731 00:56:17,070 --> 00:56:19,400 About how much we like it here. About how much we like the San. 732 00:56:19,472 --> 00:56:21,406 Just drink your milk! 733 00:56:21,474 --> 00:56:24,272 - I have feelings, you know. - So do I. 734 00:56:54,135 --> 00:56:56,431 Oh, I'm sorry. I was just... 735 00:56:56,503 --> 00:56:58,470 I was passing by and your door was open. 736 00:56:58,538 --> 00:57:01,061 It's my face, isn't it? 737 00:57:01,139 --> 00:57:03,004 Your face? 738 00:57:03,074 --> 00:57:05,475 You're staring at my face. 739 00:57:06,878 --> 00:57:09,210 No, I was... 740 00:57:10,114 --> 00:57:11,478 What color is it? 741 00:57:13,283 --> 00:57:15,148 Viridian. 742 00:57:16,219 --> 00:57:18,619 What color is it? Say it. 743 00:57:20,055 --> 00:57:21,989 Creme de menthe? 744 00:57:23,325 --> 00:57:24,758 What color is it? 745 00:57:26,695 --> 00:57:28,456 It's green. 746 00:57:28,529 --> 00:57:30,724 Well, no, no. It isn't really green. 747 00:57:30,799 --> 00:57:33,631 It's more, uh... 748 00:57:33,701 --> 00:57:36,032 It's more pale than green. 749 00:57:37,302 --> 00:57:39,360 Will, I'm cold. 750 00:57:40,105 --> 00:57:42,539 Would you like me to get you a blanket? 751 00:57:45,009 --> 00:57:47,000 Would you please lay on top of me? 752 00:58:08,360 --> 00:58:10,693 Would you please close the flap? 753 00:58:21,905 --> 00:58:23,895 Now do it. 754 00:58:23,974 --> 00:58:25,737 Do it? 755 00:58:25,808 --> 00:58:27,242 Do it. 756 00:58:56,635 --> 00:58:58,065 Mr. Lightbody. 757 00:58:58,135 --> 00:59:00,194 Sorry. 758 00:59:00,272 --> 00:59:03,466 There is nothing finer 759 00:59:03,540 --> 00:59:07,202 Than toasted flakes 760 00:59:07,278 --> 00:59:11,234 And rice Carolina 761 00:59:11,313 --> 00:59:13,804 It's the natural law 762 00:59:13,882 --> 00:59:17,748 To eat the corn and grain 763 00:59:17,817 --> 00:59:20,719 So the spirits soar 764 00:59:20,789 --> 00:59:24,552 And bowels are born again 765 00:59:24,624 --> 00:59:27,321 Every woman 766 00:59:27,395 --> 00:59:30,826 Every man 767 00:59:43,239 --> 00:59:44,900 Eleanor, look. 768 00:59:45,975 --> 00:59:48,998 Do you see who it is? It's Lionel Badger. 769 00:59:49,077 --> 00:59:51,203 - Lionel who? - Dr. Lionel Badger... 770 00:59:51,279 --> 00:59:53,076 of the American Vegetarian Society. 771 00:59:53,146 --> 00:59:56,981 Surely you've heard of him. Oh, he's a wonderful fanatic. 772 00:59:57,050 --> 00:59:58,984 No, I don't know him. 773 00:59:59,052 --> 01:00:02,350 He wrote a fabulous paper on the clitoris. 774 01:00:02,420 --> 01:00:04,615 But I thought you said he was a vegetarian? 775 01:00:04,689 --> 01:00:06,623 It's all related, darling. 776 01:00:06,690 --> 01:00:08,624 It is? 777 01:00:31,312 --> 01:00:34,042 What actually did you do over at Kellogg's, Bart? 778 01:00:34,114 --> 01:00:37,174 Mostly I vacuumed the doctor's cows. 779 01:00:37,250 --> 01:00:41,412 Let me chuck some salt in here, sir. See how that works. 780 01:00:41,486 --> 01:00:44,614 I call this batch number seven. 781 01:00:44,689 --> 01:00:46,214 Excuse me. 782 01:00:47,758 --> 01:00:49,191 Bender? 783 01:00:50,661 --> 01:00:53,424 What is it, Charles? You have that look on your face again. 784 01:00:53,498 --> 01:00:55,760 They don't look very appetizing. 785 01:00:55,832 --> 01:00:57,765 They will. Give it time. 786 01:00:57,832 --> 01:01:00,062 Bookbinder doesn't seem to have much of a clue. 787 01:01:00,134 --> 01:01:02,660 Do you think maybe we hired him a bit too hastily? 788 01:01:02,737 --> 01:01:05,228 He wasn't even a baker at Kellogg's. He worked in the cow sheds. 789 01:01:05,305 --> 01:01:08,503 Never underestimate the abilities of the common man. 790 01:01:09,277 --> 01:01:12,870 Okay, there are 22 batches here. Each one of them different. 791 01:01:12,945 --> 01:01:15,504 An ounce of salt this way. A touch of malt the other. 792 01:01:15,581 --> 01:01:18,174 And I've got it all written down. 793 01:01:18,249 --> 01:01:20,446 And this is batch number one. 794 01:01:20,519 --> 01:01:23,489 Batch number one, it is, Mr. Bookbinder. 795 01:01:23,554 --> 01:01:24,852 Gentlemen... 796 01:01:26,824 --> 01:01:29,290 history is about to be eaten. 797 01:01:39,536 --> 01:01:41,694 Shit! 798 01:01:53,613 --> 01:01:57,378 Well, one down, twenty-one to go. 799 01:01:57,449 --> 01:01:59,609 Batch number two, please, Mr. Bookbinder. 800 01:01:59,684 --> 01:02:01,618 We mustn't get disheartened. 801 01:02:03,954 --> 01:02:06,218 Right, Goodloe? 802 01:02:53,827 --> 01:02:56,558 "The nipples, tongue, neck and lips may be utilized... 803 01:02:56,630 --> 01:02:59,895 to maintain and increase the libido sexualis." 804 01:02:59,968 --> 01:03:01,901 And read that bit at the bottom. 805 01:03:01,969 --> 01:03:05,994 About " it's no more than a woman has the right to demand. Any sexual pleasure..." 806 01:03:06,072 --> 01:03:08,596 What does Dr. Kellogg think of our Mr. Badger? 807 01:03:08,672 --> 01:03:10,334 Hates him. 808 01:03:13,110 --> 01:03:17,171 Tell me, Virginia, honestly, do you think that sex is harmful? 809 01:03:17,247 --> 01:03:21,274 Oh, another ridiculous idea dreamed up by men. 810 01:03:23,252 --> 01:03:25,548 The only thing harmful about sex, my dear... 811 01:03:25,619 --> 01:03:27,852 is when women don't get enough of it when they want it... 812 01:03:27,923 --> 01:03:30,517 or don't get to enjoy it when they do. 813 01:03:44,404 --> 01:03:46,394 Is there another batch? 814 01:03:51,674 --> 01:03:54,645 I've got it! We'll sell this batch as pig food. 815 01:03:55,980 --> 01:03:57,774 Vegopork. 816 01:03:57,847 --> 01:04:00,941 No, no, Per-Fo-Korno for vegetarian pigs. 817 01:04:01,017 --> 01:04:02,779 Don't think so. 818 01:04:05,021 --> 01:04:06,954 Even the pigs won't eat it. 819 01:04:32,510 --> 01:04:36,204 Oh come let us adore him 820 01:04:48,087 --> 01:04:50,556 You did not knock. I'm at my ablutions, sir. 821 01:04:50,624 --> 01:04:53,092 - He's here again, sir. - Who, Badger? 822 01:04:53,159 --> 01:04:54,457 No, sir. 823 01:04:54,527 --> 01:04:57,189 Your son, George. He's throwing projectiles. 824 01:04:57,263 --> 01:04:59,025 Projectiles? 825 01:04:59,098 --> 01:05:01,690 Cornflakes boxes, sir. At the guests. 826 01:05:01,765 --> 01:05:04,961 Boxes? Our cornflakes? 827 01:05:05,034 --> 01:05:07,003 - No, sir. - Not my brother's? 828 01:05:07,070 --> 01:05:10,768 No, sir. They're cornflakes boxes, but there's no cornflakes in 'em. 829 01:05:10,840 --> 01:05:12,603 They have... 830 01:05:12,674 --> 01:05:14,108 rice Carolina. 831 01:05:14,178 --> 01:05:15,336 Rice Carolina? 832 01:05:15,411 --> 01:05:18,676 Well, in a manner of speaking, yes. 833 01:05:18,747 --> 01:05:20,181 Actually... 834 01:05:21,249 --> 01:05:23,547 used rice Carolina, to be more precise. 835 01:05:23,616 --> 01:05:24,980 Used? 836 01:05:25,051 --> 01:05:28,113 I think young George has gained access to the latrines, sir. 837 01:05:28,190 --> 01:05:29,883 Latrines? 838 01:05:29,956 --> 01:05:32,220 He's throwing boxes of shit at the guests! 839 01:05:33,158 --> 01:05:34,717 What? 840 01:05:52,408 --> 01:05:54,932 Stop this at once! 841 01:05:55,008 --> 01:05:57,534 You're a bad boy. You're very, very naughty. 842 01:05:58,979 --> 01:06:00,413 Give us a cuddle. 843 01:06:00,482 --> 01:06:02,574 Silent night 844 01:06:03,649 --> 01:06:08,212 Holy night 845 01:06:08,287 --> 01:06:11,016 All is calm 846 01:06:11,089 --> 01:06:14,923 All is bright 847 01:06:15,826 --> 01:06:20,560 Round yon virgin 848 01:06:20,631 --> 01:06:23,599 Mother and child 849 01:06:23,666 --> 01:06:28,000 Holy infant 850 01:06:28,070 --> 01:06:33,030 So tender and mild 851 01:06:33,108 --> 01:06:36,269 Sleep in heavenly... 852 01:06:36,343 --> 01:06:37,436 Who was it? 853 01:06:37,513 --> 01:06:40,037 Stop it! 854 01:06:40,114 --> 01:06:42,513 Stop laughing! Who was it? 855 01:06:46,519 --> 01:06:48,451 The American foot. Underline. 856 01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:52,718 The American foot, like American teeth and American woman, is deteriorating. 857 01:06:52,791 --> 01:06:56,282 The big toe being so long and so separated as to be useless. 858 01:06:56,360 --> 01:06:59,694 The Japanese, on the other hand, have smaller toes. 859 01:06:59,763 --> 01:07:03,562 I once had a Japanese patient who could play the violin with his feet. 860 01:07:03,632 --> 01:07:07,032 Vivaldi, Beethoven, Mozart, Palestrina. 861 01:07:13,608 --> 01:07:15,542 You all right, Poult? 862 01:07:15,610 --> 01:07:17,634 What's the matter with you? 863 01:07:17,711 --> 01:07:19,143 Poult? 864 01:07:20,445 --> 01:07:23,709 Get that last note about the violin, Poult? Hey! 865 01:07:27,285 --> 01:07:30,049 Poultney Dab, you've had a heart attack. And much worse... 866 01:07:30,121 --> 01:07:31,782 you're dead, sir. 867 01:07:31,856 --> 01:07:35,724 You're a good man. Maybe I worked you too hard, but damn it all, man... 868 01:07:35,791 --> 01:07:39,056 it's very unprofessional of you, if I may say so. 869 01:07:39,129 --> 01:07:41,188 How could you, right here for everyone to see? 870 01:07:41,264 --> 01:07:43,788 What will people think? 871 01:07:43,866 --> 01:07:47,062 A fine advertisement for biological livin' you are, Poultney Dab! 872 01:07:48,470 --> 01:07:51,732 Very unprofessional. Do you hear me? 873 01:08:03,949 --> 01:08:07,112 Will, there you are. We'd quite given up on you. 874 01:08:08,220 --> 01:08:12,621 Mr. Unpronounceable and I were having an interesting conversation about the czar. 875 01:08:15,959 --> 01:08:17,893 Woodbine, more amperes. 876 01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:20,795 My John Thomas is limp between my thighs. 877 01:08:37,176 --> 01:08:39,110 Who are you thinking of? 878 01:08:39,179 --> 01:08:41,839 My dear, dear wife. A lonely religious woman. 879 01:08:41,913 --> 01:08:45,678 And the waitress at the kiosk with the enormous breasts. 880 01:08:45,750 --> 01:08:48,616 Cornflake-fed and yogurt-toned. 881 01:08:48,684 --> 01:08:49,843 And you? 882 01:08:50,922 --> 01:08:52,513 Eleanor, my wife. 883 01:08:53,589 --> 01:08:55,853 And Ida Muntz, no doubt. 884 01:08:55,925 --> 01:08:59,222 Yes, Miss Muntz. And Nurse Graves. 885 01:08:59,294 --> 01:09:01,454 Oh, ho-ho, Nurse Graves. 886 01:09:01,528 --> 01:09:04,726 More amperes please, Mr. Woodbine. 887 01:09:07,568 --> 01:09:09,694 And you, Mr. Unpronounceable? 888 01:09:12,772 --> 01:09:14,864 Oh, come now, Mr. Unpronounceable... 889 01:09:14,939 --> 01:09:17,465 I can't believe there isn't a tit or two... 890 01:09:17,542 --> 01:09:20,635 you would have liked to have squeezed in Saint Petersburg. 891 01:09:36,224 --> 01:09:38,158 What happened? Are they hurt? 892 01:09:38,226 --> 01:09:40,819 I do believe it's worse. I think they're dead. 893 01:09:40,893 --> 01:09:42,829 What? What should we do? 894 01:09:42,897 --> 01:09:46,592 Well, Woodbine, I'm sure, is a Seventh-Day Adventist... 895 01:09:46,666 --> 01:09:49,499 but I know no prayers whatsoever of the Russian Orthodox Church. 896 01:09:49,567 --> 01:09:51,558 They're dead, Endymion? 897 01:09:51,637 --> 01:09:53,829 They're dead! They've been electrocuted! 898 01:09:53,904 --> 01:09:57,601 Please don't get hysterical. It's terribly American and rather vulgar. 899 01:09:57,676 --> 01:10:00,667 These crackpot machines murdered them! Don't you understand? 900 01:10:00,744 --> 01:10:03,508 It is rather a severe cure for flatulence, I do admit. 901 01:10:03,581 --> 01:10:05,411 You're a lunatic. 902 01:10:05,481 --> 01:10:09,611 Mr. Unpronounceable is dead! He's dead! 903 01:10:09,686 --> 01:10:12,948 These... crazy contraptions killed him! 904 01:10:13,019 --> 01:10:16,547 You must get a perspective on things. I talked to the man. 905 01:10:16,625 --> 01:10:19,058 There was very little for him to look forward to in Russia. 906 01:10:19,125 --> 01:10:20,820 You're mad. 907 01:10:20,895 --> 01:10:22,861 And Woodbine? What about Woodbine? 908 01:10:22,928 --> 01:10:25,861 He's a bath attendant. He's probably never heard of Russia. 909 01:10:44,814 --> 01:10:46,576 Nurse Graves? Irene! 910 01:10:46,649 --> 01:10:50,414 - Where is she? - It's her day off. Can I help you? 911 01:10:56,155 --> 01:10:57,417 Ida? 912 01:10:58,660 --> 01:11:00,319 Ida? Miss Muntz? 913 01:11:00,393 --> 01:11:02,588 I'm afraid poor Ida's no longer with us. 914 01:11:02,662 --> 01:11:04,563 - She left? - She died. 915 01:11:05,331 --> 01:11:08,232 - What? - Last night, 4:00 a.m. 916 01:11:09,900 --> 01:11:11,801 It was very peaceful. 917 01:11:30,584 --> 01:11:32,950 - What happened? - Looks as if he had a heart attack. 918 01:11:33,020 --> 01:11:35,318 Everybody's dying! 919 01:11:35,388 --> 01:11:37,788 If this is the healthiest place on earth, why is everybody dying? 920 01:11:40,726 --> 01:11:43,628 Do we not hear the bleating of the calves? 921 01:11:43,695 --> 01:11:46,185 The bellowing of the bull? The cackling of frightened geese? 922 01:11:46,263 --> 01:11:48,459 The gobbling of reluctant turkeys? 923 01:11:50,168 --> 01:11:53,830 Do we not hear the shrieks of thousands of animals... 924 01:11:53,904 --> 01:11:55,996 we dare to call dumb? 925 01:12:16,955 --> 01:12:19,114 What are you having, sir? 926 01:12:19,189 --> 01:12:21,556 A whiskey. A double. 927 01:12:21,627 --> 01:12:23,719 And a beer chaser. 928 01:12:23,796 --> 01:12:26,193 And a hamburger... with bacon. 929 01:12:27,165 --> 01:12:29,291 Mr. Lightbody! 930 01:12:29,365 --> 01:12:32,732 Charles, Charles Ossining. We met on the train. 931 01:12:32,803 --> 01:12:34,598 We're all dying. 932 01:12:34,670 --> 01:12:37,399 Every man, woman and child. I'll drink to that. 933 01:12:41,276 --> 01:12:43,301 How would you like that hamburger, sir? 934 01:12:43,376 --> 01:12:45,900 Rare. No, not just rare. 935 01:12:47,082 --> 01:12:51,709 Really rare. In fact, cold in the middle. 936 01:12:57,154 --> 01:13:00,147 They make glue from animal's hooves. 937 01:13:00,225 --> 01:13:02,851 Buttons from bones. Combs from horns. 938 01:13:02,927 --> 01:13:04,986 Soap from their fat. 939 01:13:05,061 --> 01:13:08,553 They even make quack medicines from their testicles. 940 01:13:08,630 --> 01:13:11,759 That's awful. It's so sad. 941 01:13:13,702 --> 01:13:17,159 I've been so blind. You're a wonderful man. 942 01:13:23,577 --> 01:13:26,101 Dr. Badger! 943 01:13:26,178 --> 01:13:28,613 Your corset is gone, I'm pleased to see. 944 01:13:28,682 --> 01:13:31,343 The bust is the fountain of life. 945 01:13:31,418 --> 01:13:34,079 Flat-chested women are a danger to themselves. 946 01:13:35,886 --> 01:13:38,789 Now your glasses. 947 01:13:39,523 --> 01:13:40,717 My glasses? 948 01:13:40,791 --> 01:13:43,623 Mere crutches for the eyes. You don't need them. 949 01:13:43,694 --> 01:13:45,422 Throw them into the fire. 950 01:13:54,469 --> 01:13:58,631 We had the factory. We had the machinery. We had the staff. 951 01:13:58,705 --> 01:14:01,606 And, may I add, we had a great product! 952 01:14:01,674 --> 01:14:04,700 We were poised and ready for success. 953 01:14:05,944 --> 01:14:10,243 - And we run out of money. - Oh, you want money! 954 01:14:10,315 --> 01:14:12,748 I can give you money. 955 01:14:12,817 --> 01:14:14,750 No, no. I couldn't. 956 01:14:14,818 --> 01:14:17,719 Charlie, you haven't got a pot to piss in. 957 01:14:17,786 --> 01:14:19,583 But I envy you. 958 01:14:19,656 --> 01:14:20,987 You do? 959 01:14:21,056 --> 01:14:23,286 I envy you your dreams. 960 01:14:24,860 --> 01:14:26,553 Charlie. Charlie. 961 01:14:27,629 --> 01:14:29,961 We must never, ever... 962 01:14:30,032 --> 01:14:33,829 live in a world where dreams are rarer than money. 963 01:14:39,404 --> 01:14:42,806 How much do you want? Five hundred? A thousand? 964 01:14:44,243 --> 01:14:48,008 A thousand would be very helpful. 965 01:14:48,079 --> 01:14:50,639 Rejoice ye hands 966 01:14:50,715 --> 01:14:54,809 And be joyful on earth 967 01:14:54,886 --> 01:14:58,319 Rejoice in the face of the Lord 968 01:14:58,389 --> 01:15:00,253 For he cometh 969 01:15:00,323 --> 01:15:01,517 Hallelujah 970 01:15:03,458 --> 01:15:04,890 Hey, folks! 971 01:15:04,959 --> 01:15:07,894 Here at the San, the goose is not cooked! 972 01:15:11,965 --> 01:15:15,264 Merry Christmas to you all! Merry Christmas! 973 01:15:56,102 --> 01:15:59,502 The place is filled with shams... 974 01:15:59,570 --> 01:16:02,540 murderers and wife stealers. 975 01:16:04,543 --> 01:16:06,010 - Charlie? - Yes? 976 01:16:06,077 --> 01:16:08,170 Tell me truthfully, as my friend... 977 01:16:08,245 --> 01:16:10,510 - I am your friend. - You're my friend. 978 01:16:10,581 --> 01:16:13,376 Do I look any better for eating this seaweed? 979 01:16:13,449 --> 01:16:17,852 For having my insides sucked out of me? Do I? 980 01:16:17,920 --> 01:16:22,651 - No, you look like shit. - I look like shit. I feel like shit. 981 01:16:22,724 --> 01:16:25,750 - And you're in the shit. - I am definitely in the shit! 982 01:16:25,828 --> 01:16:28,123 Charlie, with friends like you... 983 01:16:28,193 --> 01:16:30,129 Who needs enemas? 984 01:16:36,102 --> 01:16:39,592 To friendship and to looking like shit. 985 01:16:39,671 --> 01:16:41,865 To being full of shit. 986 01:16:41,941 --> 01:16:45,499 To bad health. To indigestion. 987 01:16:45,575 --> 01:16:47,064 To shitsville! 988 01:16:57,653 --> 01:17:00,416 Why pretend that sex doesn't exist? 989 01:17:00,487 --> 01:17:04,081 Surely it's the clearest expression of health and vitality. 990 01:17:05,224 --> 01:17:08,626 But Dr. Kellogg says the loss of bodily fluids is a drain on the nervous system. 991 01:17:08,694 --> 01:17:10,628 But supposing he's wrong. 992 01:17:10,696 --> 01:17:13,597 Supposing these fluids build up inside you. 993 01:17:13,666 --> 01:17:16,600 And if they're bottled up, what happens to them? 994 01:17:16,668 --> 01:17:18,635 Will they explode? 995 01:17:19,902 --> 01:17:23,202 But isn't it true the good doctor has never had sex? 996 01:17:23,271 --> 01:17:25,764 - Mumps. - No! 997 01:17:25,841 --> 01:17:28,402 Are you saying that he's... That he can't... 998 01:17:28,478 --> 01:17:30,467 - Exactly. - I don't believe... 999 01:17:33,081 --> 01:17:36,050 Please excuse me. I'm terribly sorry. I'm afraid it's Will. 1000 01:17:37,317 --> 01:17:37,450 Every woman, every man 1001 01:17:37,450 --> 01:17:41,717 Every woman, every man 1002 01:17:41,789 --> 01:17:44,814 Is at the temple of shit 1003 01:17:44,891 --> 01:17:47,224 Here at the Battle Creek San 1004 01:17:48,227 --> 01:17:51,160 We thought you should know, ma'am, before the boss finds him. 1005 01:17:51,229 --> 01:17:53,253 Thank you. 1006 01:17:53,331 --> 01:17:56,164 Will, what have you done? 1007 01:18:00,504 --> 01:18:02,868 You've been drinking. 1008 01:18:02,939 --> 01:18:05,737 Yes, thank you very much. I'll deal with it. 1009 01:18:06,874 --> 01:18:09,639 Ellie. Ellie, they killed them. 1010 01:18:09,711 --> 01:18:12,338 You're drunk! I can't believe you! 1011 01:18:12,413 --> 01:18:15,940 After all everyone's done for you! How could you do this to yourself? 1012 01:18:16,016 --> 01:18:19,951 They were murdered. Mr. Unpronounceable and Woodbine! 1013 01:18:20,019 --> 01:18:22,853 Oh, shut up! Did you actually think that you could get away with this? 1014 01:18:22,923 --> 01:18:25,355 They didn't just close their eyes and die. 1015 01:18:25,423 --> 01:18:29,449 They were electrocuted! In the suicidal bath! 1016 01:18:29,527 --> 01:18:33,087 - Fried like pork chops! - Will Lightbody, I've had enough. 1017 01:18:33,163 --> 01:18:36,723 Let me take you away from this place... 1018 01:18:36,800 --> 01:18:40,429 before we end up like Miss Muntz, before they kill us all. 1019 01:18:41,635 --> 01:18:43,604 You make it so difficult to love you. 1020 01:18:48,676 --> 01:18:50,109 Mr. Lightbody! 1021 01:18:50,177 --> 01:18:51,769 Pull him out! 1022 01:18:55,515 --> 01:18:57,141 Sorry, sir. 1023 01:19:01,621 --> 01:19:05,453 You have disobeyed my orders, risked your life... 1024 01:19:05,524 --> 01:19:07,615 plunged into some reckless debauch. 1025 01:19:07,690 --> 01:19:09,853 Are you mad? 1026 01:19:09,927 --> 01:19:11,518 I smell alcohol. 1027 01:19:11,594 --> 01:19:13,585 You are intoxicated, sir! 1028 01:19:22,972 --> 01:19:25,769 Sir, I see pickles and relish and ketchup... 1029 01:19:25,840 --> 01:19:28,001 and pork, yes, I see pork. 1030 01:19:28,076 --> 01:19:30,701 Meat. Red flesh and blood. 1031 01:19:31,778 --> 01:19:34,338 How could you, sir? 1032 01:19:38,116 --> 01:19:41,711 You obviously don't give two hoots about your own life, sir, but I do. 1033 01:19:41,787 --> 01:19:43,981 I'm gonna schedule you for surgery. 1034 01:19:44,055 --> 01:19:48,046 Not the knife! Please not the knife! I'm really sorry. 1035 01:19:48,124 --> 01:19:50,614 Too late to be sorry, sir. I'm gonna remove your kink. 1036 01:19:50,692 --> 01:19:54,093 - But I haven't even touched my wife. - I'm not talking about your penis. 1037 01:19:54,163 --> 01:19:56,496 I'm gonna chop out your offending intestines. Nurse! 1038 01:19:56,565 --> 01:20:02,026 Gastric lavage! Put Mr. Lightbody on the enema machine until further notice. 1039 01:20:46,004 --> 01:20:47,437 Be quick! 1040 01:21:22,070 --> 01:21:23,500 Ladies. 1041 01:21:23,569 --> 01:21:26,095 - Good morning, Doctor. - Good morning. 1042 01:21:47,122 --> 01:21:49,488 Good-bye! Good luck! 1043 01:22:07,972 --> 01:22:10,872 Did I die? Am I in heaven? 1044 01:22:10,941 --> 01:22:13,467 Heaven on earth. You're at the San. 1045 01:22:13,545 --> 01:22:17,602 Will, it was a success. Your kink is gone. 1046 01:22:35,562 --> 01:22:40,056 But surely if the testicles are never called upon, wouldn't they grow useless? 1047 01:22:40,133 --> 01:22:42,658 I can't believe that nature has made such a blunder... 1048 01:22:42,734 --> 01:22:45,636 as to provide the human race with such mischievous organs... 1049 01:22:45,703 --> 01:22:48,263 if we're not meant to put them to good use. 1050 01:22:48,339 --> 01:22:51,465 Mr. Badger, I think the other guests are less than pleased. 1051 01:22:51,541 --> 01:22:55,203 I'm not ashamed of my body. It's completely natural. 1052 01:22:55,277 --> 01:22:56,801 I agree. 1053 01:22:56,880 --> 01:22:59,245 Dress reform is about liberating the body from its artificial constraints. 1054 01:22:59,316 --> 01:23:03,752 - Isn't that what Professor Kuntz says? - You've read Freikorper Kultur, eh? 1055 01:23:03,818 --> 01:23:05,843 Are you familiar with the nudism movement? 1056 01:23:05,920 --> 01:23:07,385 Professor who? 1057 01:23:07,453 --> 01:23:09,150 "Cuntz." 1058 01:23:10,258 --> 01:23:11,884 Kuntz. Kuntz. 1059 01:23:11,959 --> 01:23:15,085 No, I haven't read him, but I think you're right. 1060 01:23:15,161 --> 01:23:17,321 What the heck. 1061 01:23:19,065 --> 01:23:21,759 Do you know what I'm wearing under these shorts? 1062 01:23:21,833 --> 01:23:24,562 - Nothing? - Nothing? 1063 01:23:25,501 --> 01:23:28,402 I'm sorry. I can't keep up with this. 1064 01:23:28,471 --> 01:23:31,201 I was just getting the hang of vegetarianism. 1065 01:23:32,108 --> 01:23:33,836 To the Germans. 1066 01:23:33,909 --> 01:23:36,276 Professor Cu... Kuntz. 1067 01:23:36,347 --> 01:23:39,074 And to Dr. Spitzvogel. 1068 01:23:39,147 --> 01:23:41,272 Who is Dr. Spitzvogel? 1069 01:23:41,349 --> 01:23:42,611 I don't know. 1070 01:23:42,683 --> 01:23:47,016 - He's a specialist in movement therapy. - Eleanor, you have to try it. 1071 01:23:47,087 --> 01:23:51,386 When I left, after my first session, I was floating on clouds. 1072 01:23:52,858 --> 01:23:55,192 But what did he do? 1073 01:23:55,260 --> 01:23:56,455 Well, he... 1074 01:23:56,529 --> 01:23:58,688 - He manipulates the womb. - And the breasts. 1075 01:23:58,762 --> 01:24:01,731 Die Handhabung Therapeutisch, to give it its German name. 1076 01:24:01,798 --> 01:24:04,288 Oh. I'm not doing anything German. 1077 01:24:04,368 --> 01:24:08,531 After only one session, I was weak. Weak! 1078 01:24:08,605 --> 01:24:09,572 Weak? 1079 01:24:11,206 --> 01:24:14,802 I am sure Dr. Kellogg would not approve. 1080 01:24:15,809 --> 01:24:17,640 - Oh, my God! - What? 1081 01:24:17,710 --> 01:24:21,273 There's a woman wearing a fox collar with head, feet, the whole thing! 1082 01:24:27,954 --> 01:24:30,013 That's not wine I spilled, madam, it's blood! 1083 01:24:30,089 --> 01:24:32,146 No animal should suffer for you to look beautiful. 1084 01:24:32,224 --> 01:24:34,157 - You're mad! - As you are ugly! 1085 01:24:34,225 --> 01:24:37,194 No amount of animals slaughtered in your behalf will make you look different. 1086 01:24:37,261 --> 01:24:39,593 Madam, control yourself. 1087 01:24:39,664 --> 01:24:43,258 Look at me, sir! Would you skin the flesh from my body as well? 1088 01:24:45,068 --> 01:24:48,035 - Bravo, Eleanor. - Bravo, Eleanor. 1089 01:24:49,806 --> 01:24:52,740 We're so proud of you, Eleanor. 1090 01:25:25,501 --> 01:25:27,490 It was a great success, Charles. 1091 01:25:27,568 --> 01:25:31,129 Just cast your eyes over those figures, and have a cigar. 1092 01:25:31,206 --> 01:25:33,971 Thirty-two thousand in advance orders. 1093 01:25:34,875 --> 01:25:37,468 I feel like Caesar returning from the Gaelic wars. 1094 01:25:39,012 --> 01:25:41,479 Have a cigar. 1095 01:25:41,547 --> 01:25:43,778 You should be pleased. We're on our way! 1096 01:25:49,187 --> 01:25:52,884 This is a letter from my aunt. She arrives on Friday. 1097 01:25:52,956 --> 01:25:55,187 Arrives? Mrs. Hookstratten? 1098 01:25:55,257 --> 01:25:59,250 Yes! She's going to the San for her nerves. 1099 01:25:59,328 --> 01:26:01,455 - She wants to visit the factory. - What factory? 1100 01:26:02,431 --> 01:26:06,389 Oh! Oh, yes. Our factory. 1101 01:26:06,468 --> 01:26:10,427 Well, that is rather inconvenient. 1102 01:26:10,505 --> 01:26:11,970 Inconvenient? 1103 01:26:15,174 --> 01:26:17,904 You hooked me like a fish, Bender. 1104 01:26:17,977 --> 01:26:21,310 You scaled me, you gutted me, you stuffed me and fried me! 1105 01:26:21,379 --> 01:26:24,347 Chewed me up, swallowed me, and shat me out again! 1106 01:26:24,416 --> 01:26:27,850 You bet your ass it's inconvenient! Don't you see? 1107 01:26:27,917 --> 01:26:31,853 We have no factory! These orders are for someone else's cornflakes! 1108 01:26:31,920 --> 01:26:35,219 You made me lie, you son of a bitch! Bender, I lied! 1109 01:26:35,291 --> 01:26:39,090 As day follows night, Charles, one truth is undeniable: 1110 01:26:39,161 --> 01:26:44,358 Behind every shining fortune lurks the shadow of a lie. 1111 01:26:46,601 --> 01:26:49,399 That's what business is. 1112 01:26:53,706 --> 01:26:56,675 Good-bye, Will. Time to go. 1113 01:26:57,842 --> 01:27:02,744 If I eat any more roughage, I feel I'd do my back passage a permanent injury. 1114 01:27:02,814 --> 01:27:04,576 Good-bye, Endymion. 1115 01:27:04,648 --> 01:27:07,209 I've grown quite fond of you these past few months. 1116 01:27:07,285 --> 01:27:09,845 Take care of yourself, dear boy. It's worth it. 1117 01:27:09,919 --> 01:27:11,887 Is it? Is all of this worth it? 1118 01:27:11,955 --> 01:27:13,889 Dear Will, what is life... 1119 01:27:13,956 --> 01:27:17,392 but a temporary victory over that which causes our inevitable death? 1120 01:27:19,926 --> 01:27:21,723 Looks like rain. 1121 01:27:21,796 --> 01:27:25,324 - Oh! I have a little gift for you. - What is it? 1122 01:27:25,399 --> 01:27:28,629 It's a Dusselberg Belt. German apparatus. 1123 01:27:28,701 --> 01:27:32,432 - Most sexual inventions are these days. - Sexual? 1124 01:27:32,505 --> 01:27:37,805 I didn't use it. I thought it might be useful to you in the twilight hours. 1125 01:27:38,710 --> 01:27:40,905 Thank you. Endymion, I'll miss you. 1126 01:27:40,977 --> 01:27:42,911 Good-bye, Will. 1127 01:27:45,182 --> 01:27:47,877 Follow your heart. It's the one organ... 1128 01:27:47,949 --> 01:27:51,476 that will surely let you down one day, so don't waste it while you're living. 1129 01:27:51,554 --> 01:27:55,045 I'll remember. Endymion, you're a special man. 1130 01:27:55,122 --> 01:27:56,682 Bye, Will. 1131 01:27:56,759 --> 01:27:58,316 Bye, Endymion. 1132 01:28:34,655 --> 01:28:36,590 I'm so glad you could come. 1133 01:28:36,657 --> 01:28:38,716 Come then, ja? 1134 01:29:20,928 --> 01:29:24,259 Please, you will remove your clothing and slip into this. 1135 01:29:24,329 --> 01:29:27,992 And then please, lie on the table and relax... 1136 01:29:28,066 --> 01:29:32,364 and dream and think only beautiful thoughts. 1137 01:29:59,725 --> 01:30:02,887 Here we have a beast of the wild. 1138 01:30:02,961 --> 01:30:06,418 And over here, folks, on the table, docile and benign... 1139 01:30:06,497 --> 01:30:08,691 we have our dearest Fauna. 1140 01:30:08,764 --> 01:30:11,599 The San's much-loved vegetarian wolf. 1141 01:30:14,603 --> 01:30:17,437 And relax, Mrs. Lightbody. 1142 01:30:17,508 --> 01:30:18,940 That's good. 1143 01:30:19,942 --> 01:30:22,341 That's good. Yes. 1144 01:30:22,411 --> 01:30:25,641 Breathe in, breathe out. 1145 01:30:26,781 --> 01:30:30,046 Open your legs, please. Just relax. 1146 01:30:30,117 --> 01:30:34,280 Don't worry. I am a doctor. That's good. 1147 01:30:34,354 --> 01:30:36,914 Relax. Yeah. 1148 01:30:36,989 --> 01:30:40,185 That's good. Enjoy it. Yes. 1149 01:30:40,258 --> 01:30:43,887 Think beautiful thoughts. 1150 01:30:44,862 --> 01:30:46,522 Dream. 1151 01:31:27,864 --> 01:31:30,162 See, not the slightest interest. 1152 01:31:30,232 --> 01:31:32,757 A beautiful passive animal. 1153 01:31:34,536 --> 01:31:36,468 Oh, yes, indeed. 1154 01:31:38,638 --> 01:31:41,630 A beast of the wild. 1155 01:31:43,211 --> 01:31:45,439 He's known only the carnal pleasures. 1156 01:32:25,444 --> 01:32:28,276 - Are you okay? - Yes, I'm fine. Thank you. 1157 01:32:28,345 --> 01:32:30,646 I think that I'm getting better. 1158 01:32:30,716 --> 01:32:33,842 I'll come back after you've had your nap. Can I get you anything? 1159 01:32:33,919 --> 01:32:38,352 No, not at the moment. Thank you, Irene. Maybe later. 1160 01:33:24,560 --> 01:33:27,222 I shall introduce it to the San early next year. 1161 01:33:27,295 --> 01:33:28,853 Mrs. Hookstratten! 1162 01:33:28,930 --> 01:33:30,692 Doctor! 1163 01:33:30,765 --> 01:33:33,232 How delightful to see you again. 1164 01:33:33,302 --> 01:33:35,358 I'm so sorry to hear about your nerves. 1165 01:33:35,435 --> 01:33:37,902 Please sit beside me. Tell me all about it. 1166 01:33:38,904 --> 01:33:42,965 But didn't the Alcotts practice free love, is it called? I mean, really. 1167 01:33:43,041 --> 01:33:45,703 You shouldn't sneer at free love. Its roots are purely feminist. 1168 01:33:45,777 --> 01:33:47,972 Conventional marriage is a prison. 1169 01:33:48,046 --> 01:33:51,071 One should go wherever love leads. 1170 01:33:51,148 --> 01:33:52,843 It's jealousy that's the obscenity. 1171 01:33:53,817 --> 01:33:57,683 And I want to see my nephew Charles whilst I'm here. 1172 01:33:57,752 --> 01:34:02,416 He's not really my nephew. He's the son of one of my under parlor maids. 1173 01:34:02,489 --> 01:34:07,086 Stupid woman. Always getting pregnant by some gate man or other. 1174 01:34:07,162 --> 01:34:10,358 Anyway, he has a thriving new breakfast food company. 1175 01:34:10,431 --> 01:34:12,592 Oh, really? What is it called? 1176 01:34:12,666 --> 01:34:16,531 Kellogg's. Of course. Kellogg's Per-Fo. 1177 01:34:16,601 --> 01:34:20,197 I thought you would've known, what with your son being one of the partners. 1178 01:34:21,272 --> 01:34:22,638 Partners? 1179 01:34:33,182 --> 01:34:34,479 George? 1180 01:34:34,550 --> 01:34:38,112 George Kellogg? What seems to be the problem? 1181 01:34:38,188 --> 01:34:41,053 I don't think he feels well, sir. 1182 01:34:41,122 --> 01:34:45,148 No? Then perhaps he needs a purgative. 1183 01:34:45,226 --> 01:34:48,057 What about calomel or castor oil? 1184 01:34:48,127 --> 01:34:51,757 Or shall we stop this nonsense and eat up our food? 1185 01:34:51,830 --> 01:34:54,162 Food? You call this food? 1186 01:34:56,067 --> 01:34:57,729 What did you say? 1187 01:34:57,802 --> 01:35:01,294 We want proper food. Meat and potatoes is what we want. 1188 01:35:02,707 --> 01:35:04,764 Ida, stop laughing! David, stop laughing! 1189 01:35:04,841 --> 01:35:06,433 Meat and potatoes! 1190 01:35:06,509 --> 01:35:08,500 Stop it, George! 1191 01:35:08,577 --> 01:35:09,635 Stop it! 1192 01:35:12,815 --> 01:35:15,610 I command you to stop now! 1193 01:35:15,683 --> 01:35:17,618 George, stop it! 1194 01:35:40,371 --> 01:35:42,462 Why is he like this? 1195 01:35:42,538 --> 01:35:45,007 What did I do wrong? 1196 01:35:45,074 --> 01:35:48,340 I mean, didn't I give him everything? Everything? 1197 01:35:49,444 --> 01:35:52,139 Everything you could. 1198 01:35:52,214 --> 01:35:54,647 Then why does he hate me so? 1199 01:35:54,716 --> 01:35:57,842 Maybe what you're giving him isn't what he wants. 1200 01:36:24,273 --> 01:36:26,207 Mr. Bender, please. It's Charles Oss... 1201 01:36:26,275 --> 01:36:30,334 I know, sir. Mr. Charles Ossining. You're president of Per-Fo Food Company. 1202 01:36:30,410 --> 01:36:34,073 Indeed. Well, tell Mr. Bender I'm here, will you? 1203 01:36:34,147 --> 01:36:38,084 That's not possible, sir. Unfortunately, Mr. Bender is no longer a resident. 1204 01:36:38,151 --> 01:36:41,984 - What? - He checked out, or rather disappeared. 1205 01:36:42,054 --> 01:36:45,148 The second floor maid found his room empty, but... 1206 01:36:45,223 --> 01:36:49,624 he did leave a note saying that you would be settling his account. 1207 01:36:49,693 --> 01:36:53,185 Which is a substantial sum. A very substantial sum. 1208 01:36:54,264 --> 01:36:56,358 And these two gentlemen also would like a word with you. 1209 01:36:56,432 --> 01:36:57,730 - Yes? - Mr. Ossining? 1210 01:36:57,800 --> 01:37:00,199 - Yes. - Mr. Charles Ossining? 1211 01:37:00,270 --> 01:37:03,363 I have to serve due process, sir, to inform you... 1212 01:37:03,438 --> 01:37:06,736 that separate lawsuits have been filed in the Calhoun County court... 1213 01:37:06,806 --> 01:37:11,073 to enjoin the production, sale and transportation of Kellogg's Per-Fo. 1214 01:37:11,146 --> 01:37:13,545 And substantial damages are being claimed. 1215 01:37:13,613 --> 01:37:15,911 And I have Mr. Bender's bill here, sir... 1216 01:37:15,982 --> 01:37:18,177 and his instructions to give it to you. 1217 01:37:23,588 --> 01:37:25,749 Stop him! 1218 01:37:27,659 --> 01:37:30,093 Stop that man! 1219 01:37:31,161 --> 01:37:32,992 Stop! Stop! 1220 01:37:40,035 --> 01:37:41,561 Lightbody! 1221 01:37:44,706 --> 01:37:47,105 Mr. Lightbody, please sit down. 1222 01:37:48,277 --> 01:37:51,732 Something has come to my attention that I think you should be aware of. 1223 01:37:51,811 --> 01:37:54,301 It is your wife. 1224 01:37:54,380 --> 01:37:56,642 Yes. To my displeasure... 1225 01:37:56,715 --> 01:37:59,707 she's been seeing an outside physician. 1226 01:38:01,186 --> 01:38:05,122 Not Badger. No. Although he is no doubt responsible. 1227 01:38:05,189 --> 01:38:07,919 No, it is worse. It is a German. 1228 01:38:07,992 --> 01:38:11,084 - A German? - Yes, sir, a German. 1229 01:38:11,161 --> 01:38:13,129 By the name of... What is it, Jarvis? 1230 01:38:13,195 --> 01:38:15,754 Spitzvogel. Dr. Spitzvogel. 1231 01:38:15,831 --> 01:38:18,923 It seems that Eleanor's been taken by... 1232 01:38:18,999 --> 01:38:21,993 Die Handhabung Therapeutisch. 1233 01:38:22,071 --> 01:38:23,628 Is it serious? 1234 01:38:23,706 --> 01:38:26,764 It is not a disease. It is a treatment. 1235 01:38:26,839 --> 01:38:29,467 - I'm sorry, I don't follow. - It is her womb. 1236 01:38:29,542 --> 01:38:31,339 Her womb? 1237 01:38:31,409 --> 01:38:34,402 She's been having it manipulated. 1238 01:38:35,413 --> 01:38:38,349 Manipulated? Is that dangerous? 1239 01:38:38,417 --> 01:38:42,146 There are certain things a doctor and a priest cannot share with his flock... 1240 01:38:42,219 --> 01:38:44,780 but I will say this, look to your wife. 1241 01:38:44,855 --> 01:38:47,949 You're neglecting a beautiful woman, sir. 1242 01:38:48,024 --> 01:38:51,017 And now I will move on. Into the next room, please. 1243 01:38:51,095 --> 01:38:53,755 Miss Jarvis, item two, if you will. 1244 01:38:53,830 --> 01:38:55,955 Into the room, sir. Thank you. 1245 01:38:59,332 --> 01:39:01,664 - Morning, ladies. - Morning, Doctor. 1246 01:39:02,869 --> 01:39:07,168 Nurse Bloethal found this apparatus under your bed, sir. 1247 01:39:07,240 --> 01:39:09,433 Don't you know this thing can kill you? 1248 01:39:09,508 --> 01:39:12,840 How could you be so foolish? 1249 01:39:14,512 --> 01:39:16,571 Let me tell you this, sir... 1250 01:39:16,646 --> 01:39:18,808 build up your resolve... 1251 01:39:18,883 --> 01:39:21,612 not your genitals. 1252 01:39:23,019 --> 01:39:25,113 That will be all. 1253 01:39:29,325 --> 01:39:33,453 Masturbation is the vilest sin of self-pollution! 1254 01:39:34,629 --> 01:39:36,562 The most loathsome reptile rolling... 1255 01:39:36,630 --> 01:39:40,087 in the slush and slime of a stagnant pool... 1256 01:39:40,167 --> 01:39:42,658 would not demean himself thus. 1257 01:39:42,735 --> 01:39:45,364 It is the sin of Onan. 1258 01:40:19,098 --> 01:40:20,725 Do you bicycle? 1259 01:40:20,801 --> 01:40:23,098 Oh, what a shame! There's some beautiful terrains. 1260 01:40:23,168 --> 01:40:24,431 Charles? 1261 01:40:26,170 --> 01:40:28,732 We're over here! 1262 01:40:28,808 --> 01:40:31,367 - Aunt! - Oh, my dear boy. 1263 01:40:31,442 --> 01:40:33,501 Oh, how are you? 1264 01:40:33,577 --> 01:40:35,942 You look so different. 1265 01:40:36,013 --> 01:40:40,346 Have you lost weight? Are you growing a beard? 1266 01:40:40,417 --> 01:40:42,609 You look wonderful as always. It's so nice to see you. 1267 01:40:42,683 --> 01:40:44,675 I'm so sorry to hear about your nerves. 1268 01:40:44,753 --> 01:40:47,585 Listen, about our little visit to the factory. 1269 01:40:47,655 --> 01:40:50,749 I think it would be best if we postpone it for a few days, perhaps a week. 1270 01:40:50,825 --> 01:40:53,419 I understand you know Eleanor Lightbody. 1271 01:40:53,493 --> 01:40:55,518 - Of course. - Yes, we've met. 1272 01:40:55,596 --> 01:40:59,053 How are you? May I introduce my friend, Virginia Cranehill. Charles Ossining. 1273 01:40:59,132 --> 01:41:00,654 - It's a pleasure. - Pleasure's mine. 1274 01:41:00,733 --> 01:41:02,858 And how is the breakfast food tycoon today? 1275 01:41:04,402 --> 01:41:05,371 Just fine. 1276 01:41:05,436 --> 01:41:07,529 If you'll excuse us. 1277 01:41:07,605 --> 01:41:09,367 You're not joining us for the luncheon? 1278 01:41:09,438 --> 01:41:11,407 Virginia and I are sneaking off. 1279 01:41:11,476 --> 01:41:13,136 Mr. Ossining. 1280 01:41:13,209 --> 01:41:14,938 - It's very nice meeting you. - Ladies. 1281 01:41:15,011 --> 01:41:19,639 Sadly, so must I. So much to do, so little time. You know me. Work, work. 1282 01:41:19,714 --> 01:41:22,648 Nonsense. We're going for lunch. Give me your arm. 1283 01:41:22,716 --> 01:41:25,414 Now, tell me all about the factory. 1284 01:41:38,530 --> 01:41:39,997 Will. 1285 01:41:40,065 --> 01:41:42,033 Irene. You look very pretty. 1286 01:41:42,099 --> 01:41:44,363 I hardly recognized you with your clothes on. 1287 01:41:44,435 --> 01:41:47,335 - I mean, out of uniform. - Thank you. 1288 01:41:47,403 --> 01:41:49,133 Is Eleanor here? 1289 01:41:49,206 --> 01:41:52,369 No, she's off to a vegetarian seminar. 1290 01:41:52,443 --> 01:41:54,636 They're going to eat dandelions with Badger. 1291 01:41:54,711 --> 01:41:57,611 Both guaranteed to make me vomit. 1292 01:41:57,679 --> 01:42:00,272 I was thinking of going to Goguac Lake. 1293 01:42:00,349 --> 01:42:02,282 That's nice. 1294 01:42:02,352 --> 01:42:05,910 We could go together. That is, if you're not doing anything. 1295 01:42:05,986 --> 01:42:09,251 No. That would be very nice. 1296 01:42:54,793 --> 01:42:58,227 I want it to be perfect for you. 1297 01:43:05,201 --> 01:43:07,294 Ladies and gentlemen, good afternoon. 1298 01:43:07,370 --> 01:43:12,534 I do not wish to spoil the festivities of celebration day... 1299 01:43:12,607 --> 01:43:16,200 a special day that marks the anniversary of this establishment... 1300 01:43:16,276 --> 01:43:18,335 founded by those visionaries of vegetarianism... 1301 01:43:18,413 --> 01:43:21,940 the Seventh-Day Adventists some 42 years ago. 1302 01:43:22,016 --> 01:43:26,178 No, my friends, I will be brief because I have an unpleasant duty to perform. 1303 01:43:26,250 --> 01:43:29,516 Quite simply, friends, we have among us an impostor. 1304 01:43:29,588 --> 01:43:32,149 A charlatan. A fraud. 1305 01:43:32,223 --> 01:43:35,191 A criminal of the very worst stripe. 1306 01:43:35,258 --> 01:43:37,454 A man so heinous and without conscience... 1307 01:43:37,528 --> 01:43:41,428 that I have taken time out of my busy schedule to ensnare and expose him. 1308 01:43:41,498 --> 01:43:44,989 A man who has violated every principle of human decency. 1309 01:43:45,068 --> 01:43:47,001 To defraud his own patron. 1310 01:43:47,068 --> 01:43:49,560 The very woman who took him up from poverty... 1311 01:43:49,636 --> 01:43:52,697 to dress him, educate him and give him a start in life. 1312 01:43:52,773 --> 01:43:57,505 That woman is Mrs. Hookstratten, and that man was you, sir. 1313 01:43:58,446 --> 01:43:59,911 The factory? 1314 01:43:59,978 --> 01:44:01,503 The letters? 1315 01:44:01,580 --> 01:44:04,048 Charles, how could you do this to me? 1316 01:44:04,116 --> 01:44:08,074 It wasn't me. I tried. I really tried. It was this man, Bender! 1317 01:44:09,321 --> 01:44:11,515 Oh, yes, Mr. Goodloe Bender. 1318 01:44:11,589 --> 01:44:14,920 Who I once knew as Nevada Ned of the Kickapoo Indian Medicine Show. 1319 01:44:14,992 --> 01:44:17,755 A villain of the very first order. 1320 01:44:17,827 --> 01:44:19,851 He's now safely in police custody in Buffalo. 1321 01:44:19,929 --> 01:44:22,955 You took advantage of this good woman, sir, for vulgar profit. 1322 01:44:23,032 --> 01:44:24,795 Oh, yes, you did. Oh, yeah. 1323 01:44:24,867 --> 01:44:27,300 Not just profit! 1324 01:44:27,368 --> 01:44:30,770 It wasn't just profit. I had hopes, great hopes! 1325 01:44:32,306 --> 01:44:35,763 What's wrong with profit? Don't you profit, sir... 1326 01:44:35,844 --> 01:44:40,778 from these good people who you've conned into eating grass and sawdust? 1327 01:44:40,848 --> 01:44:46,215 So that they'll defecate and you can suck it out of them with enemas? 1328 01:44:46,284 --> 01:44:48,649 So that you can feed them more sawdust? 1329 01:44:48,718 --> 01:44:52,585 Don't you have workers who strive through the night for a pittance? 1330 01:44:52,656 --> 01:44:55,056 Is there one nurse in this whole sanitarium... 1331 01:44:55,125 --> 01:44:57,115 who dabs ointment... 1332 01:44:57,192 --> 01:45:01,127 on the piles of rich, fat asses... 1333 01:45:01,197 --> 01:45:03,528 who washes out the bedpans... 1334 01:45:03,600 --> 01:45:05,531 who makes more than... 1335 01:45:05,599 --> 01:45:10,229 the cost of this pile of horseshit you call food, sir? 1336 01:45:10,302 --> 01:45:13,761 Mr. Farrington, the manacles, please. 1337 01:45:13,840 --> 01:45:16,739 Lock him away, and as far as I'm concerned, you can throw away the key. 1338 01:45:48,167 --> 01:45:50,101 - I can't do this. - I know, because... 1339 01:45:50,170 --> 01:45:52,139 Certain things have to be avoided... 1340 01:45:52,205 --> 01:45:56,265 like feather beds and romantic novels and the touching of one's organs. 1341 01:45:56,341 --> 01:45:59,276 No, that's not the reason. It's got nothing to do with the doctor. 1342 01:45:59,343 --> 01:46:02,277 I love my wife. It's Eleanor. 1343 01:46:02,346 --> 01:46:04,506 That's why I can't do this. 1344 01:46:06,283 --> 01:46:08,250 Good-bye, Irene. 1345 01:46:08,317 --> 01:46:11,513 I'm sorry. You're really very beautiful. 1346 01:46:15,456 --> 01:46:18,619 Sex is the sewer drain of a healthy body, Will. 1347 01:46:18,692 --> 01:46:21,057 I'm sure that you'll see that. 1348 01:46:21,128 --> 01:46:24,097 Any use of the sexual act other than procreation... 1349 01:46:24,164 --> 01:46:26,961 is a waste of vital energy. 1350 01:46:27,034 --> 01:46:30,433 An erection is a flagpole on your grave. 1351 01:47:30,885 --> 01:47:32,911 Eleanor, you're naked! 1352 01:47:32,988 --> 01:47:34,921 It's Die Freikorper Kultur! 1353 01:47:34,987 --> 01:47:38,185 - And you're being manipulated! - It's Die Handhabung Therapeutisch! 1354 01:47:38,257 --> 01:47:40,192 Don't give me that German crap! 1355 01:47:40,259 --> 01:47:43,820 He was handhabunging you! You let a stranger handhabung you! 1356 01:47:43,895 --> 01:47:46,524 Herr Spitzvogel is a doctor! 1357 01:47:47,832 --> 01:47:53,030 And you, you ginger-haired pig balls, you were masturbating! 1358 01:47:53,103 --> 01:47:54,729 Sir, I was not! 1359 01:47:54,804 --> 01:47:57,068 I saw you with my own eyes! 1360 01:47:57,139 --> 01:47:59,370 I was massaging my colon! 1361 01:47:59,442 --> 01:48:02,103 Massaging your colon? 1362 01:48:02,179 --> 01:48:06,581 I know where the colon is, and it doesn't stick up in the air! 1363 01:48:06,648 --> 01:48:10,481 Will, I know how all this must look, but understand he's a doctor. 1364 01:48:11,552 --> 01:48:12,815 Doctor, my ass! 1365 01:48:12,887 --> 01:48:15,582 Nurse, my ass! What have you been doing with Irene Graves? 1366 01:48:15,655 --> 01:48:18,123 Nurse Graves! Nurse Graves. 1367 01:48:18,191 --> 01:48:19,886 And your green friend, Miss Moss. 1368 01:48:19,959 --> 01:48:21,119 Miss Muntz. 1369 01:48:23,029 --> 01:48:24,619 Shut up! Shut up. 1370 01:48:27,964 --> 01:48:31,127 Shut up! Shut up! 1371 01:48:31,201 --> 01:48:34,295 If I hear one more German word... 1372 01:48:34,370 --> 01:48:37,737 I'll shove this stick right up your alimentary canal! 1373 01:48:38,874 --> 01:48:40,206 Eleanor, wait! 1374 01:48:46,113 --> 01:48:49,981 Eleanor, don't you think I deserve an explanation? 1375 01:48:50,051 --> 01:48:51,983 It's not what it looked like. You're overreacting. 1376 01:48:52,052 --> 01:48:54,645 Overreacting? A man had his hand up your crotch. 1377 01:48:54,720 --> 01:48:58,417 - It was medicine! - Medicine? He was up to his elbows! 1378 01:48:58,490 --> 01:49:02,118 Stop it, Will! All right, maybe I went too far, but you know something? 1379 01:49:02,193 --> 01:49:05,651 It felt good! It felt very good. I felt good! 1380 01:49:05,728 --> 01:49:08,027 - You'd never understand. - But I do understand. 1381 01:49:08,099 --> 01:49:10,759 You don't know how to feel good! You're incapable! 1382 01:49:10,833 --> 01:49:14,098 But I feel good. 1383 01:49:14,170 --> 01:49:16,330 I feel great! 1384 01:49:16,404 --> 01:49:20,272 As a matter of fact, I never felt better in my whole life! 1385 01:49:23,410 --> 01:49:25,344 You do? 1386 01:49:36,054 --> 01:49:38,544 Then I guess we can go home. 1387 01:50:38,772 --> 01:50:40,206 Hello, Dr. Vegetable. 1388 01:50:41,440 --> 01:50:43,273 You get out! 1389 01:50:44,343 --> 01:50:47,278 You can't wait to stick that tube up your ass, can you? 1390 01:50:47,346 --> 01:50:49,370 I said get out! 1391 01:50:49,447 --> 01:50:51,779 I'm gonna burn this place to the ground. 1392 01:50:51,850 --> 01:50:55,045 You're mad, and you're drunk. 1393 01:50:57,287 --> 01:50:59,585 Too late for that. 1394 01:51:03,561 --> 01:51:04,991 Do you like fireworks? 1395 01:51:14,567 --> 01:51:16,001 Fire! 1396 01:51:20,139 --> 01:51:22,130 Come back here, you confounded maniac! 1397 01:51:44,959 --> 01:51:47,792 George, stop this insanity! 1398 01:52:57,253 --> 01:52:59,117 I'll give you $250! 1399 01:53:01,421 --> 01:53:02,912 Five hundred! 1400 01:53:13,166 --> 01:53:15,065 Stop it! 1401 01:53:26,643 --> 01:53:30,544 George Kellogg, you've been a pain to me all my life! 1402 01:53:40,455 --> 01:53:42,354 Come back! 1403 01:53:58,268 --> 01:54:00,862 Georgie, speak to me. Say something. 1404 01:54:04,474 --> 01:54:06,737 Georgie, say something to me. Speak to me. 1405 01:54:10,345 --> 01:54:11,437 Daddy. 1406 01:54:11,513 --> 01:54:14,175 Give us a cuddle, Daddy. 1407 01:54:19,320 --> 01:54:21,253 Give us a cuddle, Daddy. 1408 01:55:34,047 --> 01:55:37,483 The San burned for three nights and three days. 1409 01:55:37,552 --> 01:55:41,348 The glow in the sky could be seen from as far away as Kalamazoo. 1410 01:55:44,056 --> 01:55:47,784 Will and I lived happily in Peterskill where we had four daughters... 1411 01:55:47,857 --> 01:55:50,884 and I opened Westchester's first health store. 1412 01:55:51,995 --> 01:55:53,986 - Huh! - What is it? 1413 01:55:54,065 --> 01:55:59,000 It's a check for $1,000. From Charles Ossining. 1414 01:55:59,067 --> 01:56:02,469 By all accounts, the charges against Mr. Ossining had been forgotten... 1415 01:56:02,537 --> 01:56:05,266 in the confusion as the San burned. 1416 01:56:05,339 --> 01:56:08,775 And he eventually became very rich. 1417 01:56:08,842 --> 01:56:11,435 Apparently he had struck upon the idea of taking sugar water... 1418 01:56:11,510 --> 01:56:14,674 and impregnating it with the leaf of the coca plant. 1419 01:56:16,115 --> 01:56:18,172 And as for Dr. Kellogg... 1420 01:56:18,249 --> 01:56:22,448 he rebuilt the San and soldiered on in his crusade for biological living. 1421 01:56:22,520 --> 01:56:27,514 Gentlemen, I will now perform a forward somersault with a half-twist. 1422 01:56:27,593 --> 01:56:31,423 I'm well in advance of the Biblical age of threescore and ten. 1423 01:56:31,494 --> 01:56:35,428 I'm in perfect health, and I'm convinced I will live forever... 1424 01:56:35,498 --> 01:56:37,124 because... 1425 01:56:37,199 --> 01:56:39,794 my bowels are immaculate! 1426 01:56:42,604 --> 01:56:45,537 Alas, Dr. Kellogg died midsomersault. 1427 01:56:48,908 --> 01:56:50,535 He said he was healthy. 1428 01:56:50,610 --> 01:56:52,770 Proving once and for all that... 1429 01:56:52,845 --> 01:56:55,312 even he was not right about everything. 1429 01:56:56,305 --> 01:57:56,767 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP