Here it is. Item number seven of next week's school board meeting.
A proposal to transition Abbott Elementary
into a Legendary Charter School for the 2023-24 school year.
Times New Roman, the most decisive of the fonts.
Well, I guess that's it.
Draemond goes to the school board, we become a charter.
This is horrible. I can't be a charter teacher.
I-I don't have the wardrobe for it.
School district's gonna hang us out to dry yet again.
Can't we call the teacher's union or something?
All they can do is help us find a job at another public.
I was really hoping that I had gotten through to that young man.
As his former teacher, I thought that Draemond
would take my words to heart.
But now we don't know who will be asked to stay
and who will be forced to leave,
and that goes for teachers and students.
I know that this seems really, really bad,
but look, no matter what happens,
we are still Abbott Elementary.
You know, they can't take that away from us.
Just found out we're not gonna be Abbott Elementary anymore.
Draemond is changing the name to "Legendary Schools Presents:
Abbott Charter."
What in the Lee Daniels?
I mean...
Wait, I don't get it.
You know what? No.
This is not happening.
Not on our watch.
- Yeah, that's right. - Right?
- Mm-hmm. - Yeah, no.
We can do something about this.
- Who is Lee Daniels? - Yes. We're gonna fight back.
Here is what I found for Lee Daniels.
African Amer...
- Synced and corrected by synk - - www.addic7ed.com -
That's what needs to happen.
Operation Save The School starts now.
Okay, I'm gonna staple all the info
about what's going on to the kids' clothes
- so the parents see it. - Nice.
I'm gonna butter up Delisha Sloss like a hot dinner roll
and see what she can do for us on the school board level.
And I am gonna talk to every parent I see
and tell them what Legendary is up to.
When they find out, they are going to storm the gates...
...of the school board.
- If they have gates there. - Wait.
We can hardly get parents to come to the Open House.
I don't think you're gonna get that many at drop off.
Oh, no, I'm very good at canvassing.
People always open the door for me 'cause they think I'm a lost child.
Oh, Ava, you look great.
It'd be breaking news if I didn't.
Where are you headed?
To handle my business.
I would tell y'all my plan, but then it'd be compromised
and this walk off wouldn't be as enticing.
Oh, hey! You're the mom with the bi...
Mm. You're Krystal, right?
Yep.
- Oh, cute look. - Thank you.
You should let me hook you up with my brand.
We just released our line of extra-petite bitch.
- Okay. Thank you. - Yeah.
Listen, I'm trying to spread the word
about Draemond Winding and Legendary Charter...
Oh, let me stop you right there. I read about that on Facebook.
Look, I'm all for keeping the schools public. What do you need?
Wow, that was so easy.
Man, I had a whole presentation prepared,
and if that didn't work, begging.
Well, keep me updated.
- Look, take my e-mail... - Okay.
It's S-L-U... Oh, you know what?
Actually, I can get it from Venus, 'cause I'm sure she has it.
- Alright, Miss Teagues. - Teagues.
Okay. Nice to meet you.
Nice to see you.
I've got good news,
and I've got bad news.
The good news is every day is a blessing.
The bad news is Draemond has already buttered up
Delisha Sloss like a freshly cooked piece of corn on the cob.
Son of a bitch!
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I'm... This whole situation's got me on edge.
My night terrors have spread into day terrors.
I can't tell if I'm asleep right now,
or if this is some kind of waking nightmare. Like, you know...
I think I might be saving Abbott.
I already got a parent on board, and I didn't even have to fake cry.
Or real cry.
The bell went off before I could get more signatures,
but the parents want to help.
We just have to engage them. So, who's with me?
I'll do it with you after school, Janine.
Oh!
Uh, I mean I'll get engaged with you.
With the parents.
- We're gonna get signatures. - Yes, we are. Yes.
- Who... Who else? - Yes! Alright, I'm with you.
Yeah, so are we.
I'm not loved by all of the parents,
uh, except for the one that calls me Stuart Little.
But even that, I'm not sure is the compliment
I want it to be.
Okay, you hold down the fort here,
and the rest of us will go car to car together.
- Yes! - Yes! Si se puede!
Yes! Si se p... Yes!
- Actually, no. - Um... no.
- No, no, no. - We've got three more classes.
Yeah, okay. We'll do it after school.
'Cause I'm about to pick the kids up now...
Hello. Hey. Hi!
Sorry, I'm not interested in saving the whales or whatever.
Oh, no. I mean, neither am I.
I don't get the hype. It's like seahorses...
Uh, sorry, that's not what we're here to talk about.
So, I want to talk to you about making a change.
I don't believe in climate change.
Uh, alarming, but no.
Actually, I'm talking about saving Abbott.
Ugh, I was more interested in the whales.
Okay, I just need a little bit of your time.
I don't understand. I thought Abbott was already a charter.
Actually, it's complicated, but if you coul...
Well, unless you can uncomplicate it,
I gotta get to work.
But I... Come on, come on.
Hey!
Are you the teacher that stapled that letter
to my son's brand-new jacket?
Jacob!
I told you, quit stapling stuff to the kids.
Excuse me, miss. I was wondering...
- Oh, hey, Erika. - Hey, Greg.
What you doing out here, begging for money?
I told you I can get you involved with my cousin's Herbalife thing.
- Let me text him. - No. No.
I'm just trying to get petitions signed.
Um, Janine tell you about this?
She might have mentioned it. Mm-hmm.
I'll sign.
So, heard you and Janine just friends now.
We are.
Did she tell you everything?
That's what friends do...
Mr. It Was A Whoopsie.
So, you cool being just friends, or...
Yes.
I am, Erika.
It's... fine.
Are you done signing?
Ooh, testy.
I heard that pause, though.
I'm... I... Well, I barely got anything.
Me neither. I mean, I get it.
I wouldn't sign anything I handed me.
Janine, how'd you get that first person to sign up so easily?
Well, I just explained to Krystal that if...
Oh, the mom with the "bitch" tattoo.
Of course she signed on.
She's one of our most active parents.
- Yeah. - Oh, this was a fool's errand.
Now it makes sense, 'cause we were sent on it by a fool.
Hey! I'm sorry.
I know you're trying really hard,
but... this may be a lost cause.
Hey! Don't go!
This will only take 27 minutes of your time.
So, how'd that begging work out?
Okay, we are not begging.
We are respectfully pleading, and not well. Mm.
- Where'd you go? - Job interview.
Ava!
I'll be the first one fired by Legendary.
You know the saying... "Finest one in, first one out."
I thought you were trying to stop us from going charter.
I've been trying to stop it.
Even went down to the school board myself, but now...
Let's get every teacher in a room, okay?
And then we don't leave until we figure this out.
Or until 9:00 p.m.
That's when my neighbors start arguing,
and you can't DVR that.
What job did you interview for, anyway?
Chief Marketing Officer, Legendary Schools.
What?
Their branding needs work.
I can't believe we might all get fired.
We don't know that yet.
I have had just about enough, Morton.
Sorry. That man knows where my buttons are
and just loves to push.
We don't know anything. This could be good.
Or very bad.
Thank you for that crack analysis, Ally.
Okay.
My plan A didn't work out, so now I turn to you, my plan B's.
Well, I really don't know where we go from here.
We didn't get enough signatures, and we need at least 500
to prove to the school board that
the community's against going charter.
Hold up. All we need is signatures?
That's easy. I know tons of names.
Barbara, Melissa, Jason, Marge,
Homer, Peter Pan...
They need to be real names of real people
- who live in this community. - Oh.
What if we just focus on new ideas?
Because what we've been doing isn't working.
No idea is too stupid to pitch.
How about if we just lock all the doors in the school?
Then they can't get in. Like "Lean on Me."
In a rare turn of events, I was wrong.
Please only pitch good ideas.
Alright, what if we petition to take over Addington?
You know, we go on the offense.
Oh! I like it. A hostile takeover.
Did a lot of "hostel" takeovers in Peru.
Get it? I stayed in them.
Just trying to lighten the mood.
Normally, I would politely chuckle,
but this might not be the right time
- to lighten the mood. - That's it, Morton.
You want to get nuts? Let's get nuts.
Sorry. Sorry.
We could bribe the superintendent.
With what money?
Would you get your head in the game, Ally?
In my safety deposit box,
I have 3/4 of what I think is a treasure map.
Now if we find the other quarter...
We have to trick them.
We have to trick the community
into simply signing their names on our petition,
and then we will submit it to the school board, and...
we will win.
It's not my preference to dance with the devil,
but this is a special case.
I'm sorry. Tricking them just seems wrong.
They need to know what they're signing
and the why behind it.
No, let's trick 'em.
Oh, guys, how would we even do that?
What, we throw a big festival during Open House
and make people sign the petition to get in?
Like... Now, that's absurd, but it does give me an idea.
We should throw a big fun festival during the Open House
and make everyone sign the petition to get in.
You just repeated what I said and added the word "fun" in it.
- Yeah. - One problem.
The parents don't come to Open House.
This'll be more than an Open House.
We have a couple weeks to make this thing a blowout
with games and prizes and must-see entertainment.
Why can't you ever give me credit for a good idea?
Stop making everything about you, Janine.
AVA Fest is about the kids.
Hold up. Ava Fest?
Why is it named after you, all of a sudden?
It's not, Melissa. A-V-A.
A Very Abbott Festival.
AVA Fest prep is popping off.
Now, we don't have a lot to work with,
so we're leaning on our strengths.
Janine is trying to locate her rhythm
and help the step team with their performance.
Oh, Ava, thank goodness you're here.
So, the girls told me you said they could dance to Ice Spice.
I'm gonna say no, but I have a catalog
that I think is pretty good.
Mr. Johnson found an old dunk tank
- in the basement. - Oh, come on.
What, are you kidding me? You said it yourself.
The parents don't exactly love you.
They would be psyched to come and dunk your ass.
I don't know how to swim.
And now it's dangerous? Even better.
Barb is working on a motivational speech.
And to them I say, "This is how you Abbott."
I'm thinking about ending with a song.
And we welcome your vocal acrobatics.
This is gonna be the best show in Philly
since Dru Hill sold out the Wachovia Center in '03.
They were like two hours late, but Sisqó did like 30 backflips.
Mr. J is working to keep the place spotless.
What do you call this?
Sharpening my mop.
We're going to war.
Sure, whatever.
We got sharp mops, dunk tanks, step, and food?
What's the problem?
They have conflicting opinions on the consistency of the macaroni.
- He would like soupy... - Solid.
And I believe he would like solid.
I would like to go back to my classroom.
This is AVA Fest, baby.
We'll have soupy and solid.
Double 'ronis.
Congrats.
Miss Teagues, are you getting fired?
What? No. N-No. I don't... think so.
I heard the school is changing, and I think I'm getting fired, too.
Okay. No one is going anywhere, at least not for now.
So we're getting fired later?
Go back to your art project.
Oh, hey. It is so busy.
They are making projects for AVA Fest and Open House.
I'm worried this isn't gonna be enough, though.
Feels like we need more than popsicle-stick houses
to get people to show up.
Well, some are castles.
I'm thinking more of a headliner.
It's like going to see Paramore without Hayley Williams.
There are other people in that band?
- Yeah, actually. - Hmm.
Maybe I can call Tariq.
What? Why?
Well, because he's from the neighborhood,
and... And people like him.
And he's on the WNBA pre-game pump-up playlist on Spotify.
He could draw a crowd.
Um, I don't... I don't... I don't think so.
Um, he's a bit of a wild card.
But I do think we're on the right track.
We're gonna figure this out.
Okay. Yeah.
Hey! You better watch that.
Anytime the score gets past 20,
- that thing starts to shake. - Please.
That scoreboard's been here since you had
a full head of hair and a look of hope on your face.
So, this is all great, Ava, but, you know, Gregory and I
were thinking that we needed something, you know, flashy.
Like something big, a big name. Something for the parents.
Ooh, ooh. What about Nikki Giovanni?
Oh, my God. Do you know her?
- No. - You know what?
I've already handled this.
Walk with me.
Boom!
You got Jazmine Sullivan to come here tomorrow night?
That's amazing, Ava.
We're gonna pull this off.
Yes.
Who is Jazmine Sulliv...
Things are looking up.
But nothing more dangerous than an uninformed signatory.
So I have a plan in place to make sure the community
understands the situation at hand.
Now turn around. I gotta wand you, son.
Is that a curling iron?
Can't be too careful.
Hey, where the party at?
Oh, my God. It's right here.
Wow, isn't this fun?
Um, I'm sure you guys are members of the community like I am,
and I heard there's an informational sesh
taking place about the issues facing Abbott.
Yo, don't you work here?
- She does. - Alright, okay.
Guilty. Serving a life sentence as an educator.
But I just want you to know the petition you're signing
means we can keep Abbott, Abbott.
Information is power.
Listen, lady, I'm just trying to dunk a white dude.
Next!
♪ Two bad brauds ♪
♪ Lookin' like they down right ♪
♪ Ah, baby, tell me is you down right? ♪
Alright, step right up. Step right up.
You're not really a fan of him,
and now's your chance to send him plunging
into whatever our tap water's made of.
Let's go. Come on.
Oh, I knew it, Morton.
I knew you hated me.
Oh, uh...
Sorry.
Hey, Gregory.
Hey, Amber. Um, how are you?
Good. Cute. You?
I'm good. I see you finally got your bag.
Thank you.
My boyfriend got it for me.
Your boyfriend? We broke up like two weeks ago.
And? I met Rashon a week after.
Gregory, look.
It's a wrap between us,
but you'll find somebody more your speed.
Let's just focus on the festival.
You know I don't like hanging around.
When is Jazmine Sullivan getting here?
I bet I won't.
Look, I'm giving it about 10 more minutes.
I need to get on home.
Hey. How we doing?
Still quite a few signatures short.
Man, well, people are starting to, like,
call their friends and tell them not to come, you know?
Where's our headliner?
You know, that's a really good question.
Right?
Um, Ava?
When is Jazmine Sullivan getting here?
Good one, Gregory. Like she'd ever come here.
What? But you said she was coming.
Yeah, but before I said that, Barb said to trick 'em.
So she's not coming?
You need to pay better attention, Janine.
Buckets!
- Ava, why did you lie? - I thought that was the whole point.
You lie to them, not to us.
- My lies don't discriminate. - Oh, my God.
Look, either way, we still don't have enough signatures.
Well, look, maybe they won't realize it.
Hey, yo, Jazmine Sullivan ain't even coming, y'all.
Yeah, they done tricked us into supporting the school
by dangling the carrot of a local yet global
R songstress in our face!
Well, they put that together quite quickly.
Okay, I had a feeling that Ava may pull an Ava,
so I called in a backup plan, but...
Ah. Well, well, well.
If it isn't the little people who first believed in me,
and then I left behind for FADE and fortune.
- Tariq, you're here? - Yeah, what's up, 'Neen?
Don't try to win me back with some type of grand gesture.
I am very busy right now, actually.
Get on the stage.
You're right, Talent Manager.
- Alright. - Give me that.
You called Tariq?
Anything for Abbott, right?
Aw, yeah.
Time to slay one for my day ones.
What's up, y'all? Yeah!
Legendary Schools, they said that my jingle
infringed upon a "existing melody."
Like...
And then FADE, they fired me
because I had become a liability.
So, yeah, between Legendary Schools, FADE,
that one dude at Lady Foot Locker,
I got enough beefs to start a butcher shop right now.
Let me see y'all put a fist up. Yeah.
Put that fist up real quick.
This a powerful symbol.
This... This the universal symbol for...
Hey, we... We will fight y'all.
Yeah, you feel me? Let's go.
♪ Abbott on Abbott on Abbott ♪
♪ That booty big, so I'mma grab it ♪
♪ You tryin' to finesse the teacher ♪
♪ You better start prayin', go call up your preacher ♪
♪ Abbott on Abbott on Abbott ♪
♪ That booty big, so I'mma grab it ♪
♪ You tryin' to finesse the teacher ♪
♪ You better start prayin', go call up your preacher ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Your children are our future ♪
♪ It ain't no debate ♪
♪ Play with a teacher's aide ♪
♪ I'mma catch a case ♪
♪ Better not be slippin' ♪
♪ Or that steel, you gon' be kissin' ♪
♪ Packed my bags 'cause they was trippin' ♪
♪ They want beef, I'm in the kitchen ♪
♪ Play with a teacher, you fittin' to get slapped ♪
♪ No gonorrhea, but you gon' get clapped ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Put your hands up ♪
Put them adult hands up. Yeah.
Hey, now, Abbott going up! They got a rapper now.
You should pull up.
Never have I ever
been so happy to hear such explicit content.
Yep. Mm.
So happy I thought of this.
Oh, no. Is that...
Draemond.
What is he doing here?
Did y'all get a youth pastor to do stand-up during my set?
What's going on?
Good evening, everyone.
I'm Draemond Winding from Legendary Schools,
and I'm sorry to say you're being lied to.
The petition that's circulating this evening
is nothing more than a promise to hold your children back.
These teachers are afraid of change.
They want to keep this place tore up from the floor up.
Okay, just give me the signal.
But I want to turn it into a beautiful,
new Legendary property.
Yo, I just walked around this school.
This place looks alright to me.
But we can do better. We will do better.
I heard those Legendary Schools do look fresh and new.
And we can bring that here.
The truth is Abbott is failing.
I haven't been here all year,
but they're making race cars, doing goofy murals and fun stuff here.
They do the best with what they have.
I went to Abbott.
The great Mrs. Howard was my teacher, and she gave me so much.
Then I struggled
until I found my way into a charter school.
Folks, you talk to any parent from Addington...
My kid went to Addington, and you kicked him out.
No, we don't... We don't kick kids out.
We encourage a small few
to explore other educational opportunities.
Yeah, by kicking them out.
I want to focus on the future.
This place is going to get a full and complete facelift.
We are going to hire the best and brightest teachers.
What about the teachers we have here now?
What you gonna do? You gonna fire Mrs. Howard?
- Huh? - No, not Mrs. Howard. No.
Oh, yeah? Then who?
If your child becomes a student
at Legendary Charter, you will s...
If? Wait, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
My kid might not even get to go here?
We employ a lottery system to ensure equality.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
I play the lottery every single day,
and I never win.
This man is playing the Powerball with our kids!
The reality is
Legendary has resources Abbott just does not.
Then why don't you spend that money on Abbott?
Help us make this school better, since you care so much.
See, I told you our community would step up.
I guess they know more about this stuff than we thought.
Yeah, no. What they know is a phony when they see one.
- Yeah. - Folks, listen. What... What I...
Man, get out of here with that nut-ass suit.
Yeah.
Go on somewhere.
Yeah, yeah. Get them all.
Get 'em out of here. Bye!
Get 'em out of here.
Yeah. Get 'em out of here.
♪ Abbott on Abbott on Abbott ♪
♪ Impact bulletproof ♪
♪ So we don't got... to prove ♪
♪ Suwoo, on my blood ♪
♪ But we still gon' rock the blue, too ♪
♪ Call me a doll, but he don't know that it's voodoo ♪
♪ Sippin' Stella, this my era ♪
♪ Baby, it's a new groove ♪
♪ It's water weight in diamonds ♪
♪ You could say I chew with Bluetooth ♪
I guess I've been bested by the best.
And I hope that now we can just
put this whole endeavor behind us.
This actually takes a lot off my plate.
I really brought the community together tonight, huh?
Bless your soul, Draemond.
Every student is special,
and you have to give them your best.
And you hope that they will carry it with them,
but at the end of the day,
they have to decide who they want to be.
And this one decided to be a jackass.
Alright, I think we have cleaned up enough for tonight.
We can do the rest tomorrow.
It is so magical when everyone comes together for a cause.
See? This is what I love about emergencies.
You know what? Now that we've got the community all fired up,
we should ask them for more stuff,
like calculators and another dunk tank.
You know, Tariq really bailed us out.
Yes, and you called him. You saved Abbott.
Well, we all did.
And the best part is Mr. Morton and I
- are practically BFFs now. - Ooh.
No, he still hates you.
Impossible. What did he say?
He said, "I still hate Jacob. Pass the chips."
Wait a minute. There were chips?
Why was I eating wet-yet-dry macaroni all night?
I am so happy Abbott is safe.
This is the best...
Oh, geez.
Ooh, what in the immaculate reception?
Oh.
- Melissa Oh. Scoreboard. - Always something.
Well, Abbott's gonna Abbott.
You know what? Let's go home.
We can hit the ground running on this Monday.
Hell, yeah.
Guys...
I think I can pick this up, right?
Janine, don't try and fix that!
Oh, yeah, yeah. You know.
I'm tryin' to find a new lane since this FADE beef.
I'm looking at a lot of avenues untouched by mainstream rappers.
I got a whole gang of national park songs,
mainly about how mountaintops look like boobies.
I got a anti-Amazon song.
I got a pro-Amazon song called
"She Gon' Get This Package."
I got a song about, uh, endangered species,
'cause I'm trying to help them bring velociraptors back.
You know, when they get the mosquitos in that amber.
You know how they do.
Um, hey, any of y'all got a car?
'Cause I need a ride back to New York and then...
And then back here to Philly with all my stuff in it.
- Synced and corrected by synk - - www.addic7ed.com -