1
00:00:01,248 --> 00:00:02,750
[MOUSE SQUEAKS]

2
00:00:02,817 --> 00:00:06,321
[PENGUINS CHIRP]

3
00:00:06,387 --> 00:00:10,494
[ALL CHEERING]

4
00:00:10,558 --> 00:00:13,562
[SCREECHES]

5
00:00:13,627 --> 00:00:14,697
♪ Adventure Time ♪

6
00:00:14,762 --> 00:00:16,332
♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪

7
00:00:16,397 --> 00:00:18,843
♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪

8
00:00:18,899 --> 00:00:21,175
♪ With Jake the dog
and Finn the human ♪

9
00:00:21,235 --> 00:00:23,010
♪ The fun will never end ♪

10
00:00:23,070 --> 00:00:25,175
♪ It's Adventure Time ♪

11
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:33,074
-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-

12
00:00:37,084 --> 00:00:39,086
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

13
00:00:41,121 --> 00:00:43,226
Donkin' princess!

14
00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:46,169
[RADIO CHATTER CONTINUES]

15
00:00:46,227 --> 00:00:48,173
[FEEDBACK]
Okay, okay.

16
00:00:48,229 --> 00:00:51,301
How about I give you a big
cowboy hat?

17
00:00:51,365 --> 00:00:54,574
Then will you let
the hostages go?

18
00:00:54,635 --> 00:00:56,581
No! No!

19
00:00:56,637 --> 00:00:58,742
Don't play games with me,
Princess!

20
00:00:58,806 --> 00:01:02,219
I want that crown!
No crown, no hostages!

21
00:01:02,276 --> 00:01:05,519
Well, obviously,
that's going to be a problem

22
00:01:05,579 --> 00:01:09,186
because I'm the princess,
and I need my crown.

23
00:01:09,250 --> 00:01:10,786
So...

24
00:01:10,851 --> 00:01:12,387
No, Princess!
You are problem —

25
00:01:12,453 --> 00:01:14,399
The problem princess!

26
00:01:14,455 --> 00:01:16,992
Just give me that crown!

27
00:01:17,057 --> 00:01:19,401
Why does he want your crown,
anyway, Princess?

28
00:01:19,460 --> 00:01:21,098
Yeah. What's his beef?

29
00:01:21,161 --> 00:01:23,266
I don't know, guys.
He's crazy.

30
00:01:23,330 --> 00:01:25,606
He's left me no choice.

31
00:01:25,666 --> 00:01:28,272
I'm sending in the banana guards.

32
00:01:28,335 --> 00:01:31,009
It's about to turn
crazy-nasty.

33
00:01:31,071 --> 00:01:33,017
Hello.
Captain Banana Guard?

34
00:01:33,073 --> 00:01:35,178
JAKE:
Wait a second, Princess.

35
00:01:35,242 --> 00:01:37,620
Why don't me and Finn just
sneak in there incognito

36
00:01:37,678 --> 00:01:40,454
and neutralize the threat
old-fashioned spy-guy style?

37
00:01:40,514 --> 00:01:41,891
Hmm...

38
00:01:41,949 --> 00:01:44,896
Okay, but if you guys aren't
out of there by 4:00,

39
00:01:44,952 --> 00:01:46,863
I'm sending in the guards.

40
00:01:46,921 --> 00:01:49,697
Okay. I was thinking I could
dress up like a mailman!

41
00:01:49,757 --> 00:01:51,703
Yeah! Yeah!
And I could wear all black!

42
00:01:51,759 --> 00:01:53,705
And I could be like,
you know,

43
00:01:53,761 --> 00:01:57,334
like... your shadow!

44
00:01:57,398 --> 00:02:00,140
Hmm... I can't really
see that working.

45
00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,806
Yeah, the shadow thing
might be pushing it.

46
00:02:02,870 --> 00:02:05,146
Oh, no, no, no.
That part's fine.

47
00:02:05,205 --> 00:02:07,811
I was talking about you
dressing up like a mailman.

48
00:02:07,875 --> 00:02:08,876
What?

49
00:02:08,943 --> 00:02:10,820
But I always wanted to be a mailman!

50
00:02:10,878 --> 00:02:13,722
Nah, you don't
look like a mailman.

51
00:02:13,781 --> 00:02:15,317
You look like a milk/nan.

52
00:02:15,382 --> 00:02:18,022
Let's get you a proper
milkman outfit.

53
00:02:18,085 --> 00:02:20,725
BOTH:
[GRUNTING]

54
00:02:23,891 --> 00:02:26,235
Hmm... You ready?

55
00:02:26,293 --> 00:02:29,638
Yeah! Let's bust it!

56
00:02:34,902 --> 00:02:36,404
Hello!

57
00:02:36,470 --> 00:02:38,416
Hello?
Who the heck are you?

58
00:02:38,472 --> 00:02:40,179
I'm gonna smash your face!

59
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,117
Uh, milkman, sir.

60
00:02:42,176 --> 00:02:44,782
I brought the milk...
for the hostages, sir.

61
00:02:44,845 --> 00:02:46,449
Huh? Oh.

62
00:02:46,513 --> 00:02:48,288
I thought maybe you were
a spy guy or something.

63
00:02:48,349 --> 00:02:50,124
Go ahead.
Give everyone some milk,

64
00:02:50,184 --> 00:02:51,822
then get the math outta here!

65
00:02:51,885 --> 00:02:53,728
Yes, sir.

66
00:02:53,787 --> 00:02:55,130
- Milk, sir?
- Thanks.

67
00:02:55,189 --> 00:02:56,634
- Milk?
- Thanks.

68
00:02:56,690 --> 00:02:58,135
- Milk?
- Thank you.

69
00:02:58,192 --> 00:02:59,227
Some milk?

70
00:02:59,293 --> 00:03:00,738
Psst! Get ready, Jake.

71
00:03:00,794 --> 00:03:02,239
When we get to the cookie,

72
00:03:02,296 --> 00:03:04,071
you throw some milk in his face

73
00:03:04,131 --> 00:03:06,577
and yell,
"Alvin's Hot Juice Box.

74
00:03:06,633 --> 00:03:09,512
Alvin's Hot Juice Box."

75
00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:11,345
He'll be really confused.

76
00:03:11,405 --> 00:03:13,351
And that's when we grab him
and tie him up style.

77
00:03:13,407 --> 00:03:14,943
[RADIO CRACKLES]

78
00:03:15,008 --> 00:03:16,919
RADIO:
Come in, Cookie. This is Chipper. Over.

79
00:03:16,977 --> 00:03:18,422
Go ahead, Chipper. Over.

80
00:03:18,479 --> 00:03:20,959
CHIPPER:
I'm too short to lock the backdoor. Over.

81
00:03:21,014 --> 00:03:22,960
Hold tight, Chipper.
Chipler's on his way.

82
00:03:23,016 --> 00:03:24,620
[GRUNTS]

83
00:03:24,685 --> 00:03:28,360
- You got that, Chipler?
- Affirmative.

84
00:03:28,422 --> 00:03:29,526
Did you hear that?

85
00:03:29,590 --> 00:03:31,365
Yeah. Change of plans.

86
00:03:31,425 --> 00:03:33,029
I'll go take care of those chips.

87
00:03:33,093 --> 00:03:35,039
You keep the cookie distracted.

88
00:03:35,095 --> 00:03:36,506
Yeah, I can do that.

89
00:03:36,563 --> 00:03:38,702
FINN:
Okay, awesome.

90
00:03:40,968 --> 00:03:43,642
Milk? Milk?

91
00:03:43,704 --> 00:03:45,240
Milk?

92
00:03:45,305 --> 00:03:46,409
Some milk?

93
00:03:46,473 --> 00:03:48,146
What?
Oh. Look.

94
00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:50,154
You should probably split, buddy.

95
00:03:50,210 --> 00:03:52,156
Things are about to get pretty
flipped-out in here.

96
00:03:52,212 --> 00:03:53,816
Oh. Sure.
Sorry, man.

97
00:03:53,881 --> 00:03:55,656
I was just trying
to get away from that

98
00:03:55,716 --> 00:03:57,787
rotten Princess Bubblegum
for a while, you know?

99
00:03:57,851 --> 00:03:59,421
Isn't she just the worst?

100
00:03:59,486 --> 00:04:02,057
Wait, you hate
Princess Bubblegum, too'?

101
00:04:02,122 --> 00:04:03,123
Get outta here!

102
00:04:03,190 --> 00:04:05,329
Oh, yeah, man!
She's the worst —

103
00:04:05,392 --> 00:04:07,838
sitting out there all safe and cozy

104
00:04:07,895 --> 00:04:10,171
while I'm risking my life
tootin' around in here

105
00:04:10,230 --> 00:04:13,370
in a stupid milkman costume.

106
00:04:13,434 --> 00:04:14,936
Wait, costume?

107
00:04:15,002 --> 00:04:16,447
Oh. Um...

108
00:04:16,503 --> 00:04:18,505
I just mean it <i>feels</i> like
a costume.

109
00:04:18,572 --> 00:04:20,848
'Cause I wanted to be
a mailman so bad, you see?

110
00:04:20,908 --> 00:04:24,321
But the princess made me be
a milkman, anyway.

111
00:04:24,378 --> 00:04:25,823
Boy, I hear you, brother.

112
00:04:25,879 --> 00:04:27,984
[RADIO CRACKLES]
Cookie? You there? Over.

113
00:04:28,048 --> 00:04:30,995
Yeah.
Go ahead, Chipolina. Over.

114
00:04:31,051 --> 00:04:33,156
CHIPOLINA:
I just saw a light go on in the stock room.

115
00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:35,496
Probably nothing.
I'll check it out. Over.

116
00:04:35,556 --> 00:04:37,001
Okay. Over.

117
00:04:37,057 --> 00:04:39,298
[DOOR CREAKS]

118
00:04:40,494 --> 00:04:41,996
Hmm...

119
00:04:42,062 --> 00:04:43,507
[RADIO CRACKLES]

120
00:04:43,564 --> 00:04:45,475
Looks like a false alarm, Cookie.

121
00:04:45,532 --> 00:04:47,478
It's just some kid's
Baby Snuggleghost night-light.

122
00:04:47,534 --> 00:04:48,842
Hes-yang

123
00:04:48,902 --> 00:04:51,007
[CRASH!]

124
00:04:51,071 --> 00:04:52,675
Alvin's Hot Juice Box!
Alvin's Hot Juice...

125
00:04:52,739 --> 00:04:54,309
So, what's your story, man?

126
00:04:54,374 --> 00:04:55,978
How'd she doodie on you?

127
00:04:56,043 --> 00:04:57,989
[INHALES SHARPLY: GROANS]

128
00:04:58,045 --> 00:05:00,616
I was just a kid, man —
just a little kid

129
00:05:00,681 --> 00:05:03,025
when I got doodied on.

130
00:05:03,083 --> 00:05:04,323
[FLIES BUZZING]

131
00:05:04,384 --> 00:05:06,022
COOKIE: I was the new guy
at the candy orphanage.

132
00:05:06,086 --> 00:05:07,690
They called me Baby Snaps.

133
00:05:07,754 --> 00:05:09,700
I tried to make friends
with the other kids.

134
00:05:09,756 --> 00:05:11,702
Come on, guys!
Let's dance it up!

135
00:05:11,758 --> 00:05:13,465
COOKIE: They were always
too depressed to play.

136
00:05:13,527 --> 00:05:16,371
No, no.
We're too depressed.

137
00:05:16,430 --> 00:05:18,376
COOKIE:
Things went on like that for a while,

138
00:05:18,432 --> 00:05:20,912
then one day...

139
00:05:20,968 --> 00:05:22,504
She showed up.

140
00:05:22,569 --> 00:05:24,207
Everything was different.

141
00:05:24,271 --> 00:05:28,048
a thunderous cheer,
as Baby Whoozlefut...

142
00:05:28,108 --> 00:05:30,850
COOKIE: Everything was — was
better with her around.

143
00:05:30,911 --> 00:05:33,687
And something inside me changed
that day, too.

144
00:05:33,747 --> 00:05:36,193
And then later, she told me
I could be anything I wanted.

145
00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:39,595
Anything your sweet heart desires!

146
00:05:39,653 --> 00:05:42,099
COOKIE: I told her I wanted
to be a princess like her,

147
00:05:42,156 --> 00:05:44,432
so I could make
all the children happy.

148
00:05:44,491 --> 00:05:47,472
I want to be a princess, like you!

149
00:05:47,528 --> 00:05:49,872
[GIGGLES]

150
00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:54,379
COOKIE:
And she laughed in my face, man!

151
00:05:54,434 --> 00:05:56,778
It really messed me up.

152
00:05:57,771 --> 00:06:01,048
Holy schmow, man!
That's terrible!

153
00:06:01,108 --> 00:06:03,088
That's really terrible.

154
00:06:03,143 --> 00:06:05,749
Listen, I —
- [SOBBING]

155
00:06:05,812 --> 00:06:07,450
She lied to me!

156
00:06:07,514 --> 00:06:09,289
Yeah, but maybe she didn't realize

157
00:06:09,349 --> 00:06:11,226
how much it meant to you.

158
00:06:11,285 --> 00:06:15,028
No, she just wants to hog all
the princessin' for herself!

159
00:06:15,088 --> 00:06:17,034
[RADIO CRACKLES]
All chips, report in!

160
00:06:17,090 --> 00:06:19,092
It's time to get real!
Over.

161
00:06:19,159 --> 00:06:22,106
Chips? Chips?
Over.

162
00:06:22,162 --> 00:06:25,234
Chips?
Where are my chips?

163
00:06:25,299 --> 00:06:28,246
Chipolina! Chipler!
Chipton! Chipper?

164
00:06:28,302 --> 00:06:30,578
Is anyone there?
Chipface?

165
00:06:30,637 --> 00:06:32,082
[RADIO CRACKLES]

166
00:06:32,139 --> 00:06:33,618
Something happened to my chips!

167
00:06:33,674 --> 00:06:35,449
Aaaah!

168
00:06:35,509 --> 00:06:37,284
[PANTING]

169
00:06:37,344 --> 00:06:39,654
I'm about to flip out, man...

170
00:06:39,713 --> 00:06:42,250
and take that crown!
- Whoa, whoa. Wait.

171
00:06:42,316 --> 00:06:43,920
It doesn't have to be like this!

172
00:06:43,984 --> 00:06:45,657
You don't need that crown!

173
00:06:45,719 --> 00:06:47,221
You can start over, man.

174
00:06:47,287 --> 00:06:49,631
You can start a new kingdom —
your own kingdom,

175
00:06:49,690 --> 00:06:53,194
where everyone can be
whatever they want to be.

176
00:06:53,260 --> 00:06:55,536
I can be the mailman, and you —

177
00:06:55,596 --> 00:06:57,667
you can be the princess.

178
00:06:57,731 --> 00:07:00,075
- My own kingdom?
- Yeah, man.

179
00:07:00,133 --> 00:07:02,943
I... I'd like that.

180
00:07:03,003 --> 00:07:05,506
Okay, then.
Just sit tight, Princess.

181
00:07:05,572 --> 00:07:07,518
I'll get us out of here.

182
00:07:07,574 --> 00:07:09,576
[MUFFLED]
Hey! Hey!

183
00:07:09,643 --> 00:07:11,281
[NORMAL VOICE]
I'm coming out!

184
00:07:11,345 --> 00:07:13,347
BUBBLEGUM: [MUFFLED]
What?

185
00:07:15,182 --> 00:07:16,991
Jake!

186
00:07:18,085 --> 00:07:20,361
Jake, what's going on?
Where's Finn?

187
00:07:20,420 --> 00:07:22,422
Where are the hostages?

188
00:07:22,489 --> 00:07:24,400
Don't worry, Princess.
It's okay now.

189
00:07:24,458 --> 00:07:27,064
Princess Cookie's gonna go away.

190
00:07:27,127 --> 00:07:29,073
You just got to give him
a horse to escape with,

191
00:07:29,129 --> 00:07:30,267
and he'll go.

192
00:07:30,330 --> 00:07:31,604
Right.

193
00:07:31,665 --> 00:07:33,667
And then you and Finn
hunt him down

194
00:07:33,734 --> 00:07:35,372
and put him in the dungeon.

195
00:07:35,435 --> 00:07:38,041
No, wait. He said
he'd go away forever.

196
00:07:38,105 --> 00:07:39,914
Can't we just let him go?

197
00:07:39,973 --> 00:07:42,180
No. That cookie is a menace.

198
00:07:42,242 --> 00:07:46,213
Once the hostages are safe,
Cookie goes in my dungeon...

199
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:49,261
in my dungeon for his life.

200
00:07:49,316 --> 00:07:50,989
[GROANS]

201
00:07:56,223 --> 00:07:57,964
Oh, boy!

202
00:07:58,025 --> 00:08:00,528
Would you look at that!

203
00:08:00,594 --> 00:08:02,301
Dang!

204
00:08:02,362 --> 00:08:06,242
Okay, well, she's all yours.

205
00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:08,007
Hot diggity!

206
00:08:08,068 --> 00:08:10,674
Ah-ah-ah. Man, that horse
ain't no good.

207
00:08:10,737 --> 00:08:14,981
That's a trap horse!
- What are we gonna do?

208
00:08:15,042 --> 00:08:16,885
It's okay, man.
I'm Jake.

209
00:08:16,943 --> 00:08:18,547
J-J-J-Jingo-Jango!

210
00:08:18,612 --> 00:08:20,956
Whoa! Ha-ha!
You're magic!

211
00:08:21,014 --> 00:08:22,459
JAKE:
Yeah!

212
00:08:22,516 --> 00:08:24,189
COOKIE: [LAUGHS]
Yee-hoo!

213
00:08:24,251 --> 00:08:25,662
After them!

214
00:08:25,719 --> 00:08:28,199
[LAUGHS]

215
00:08:28,255 --> 00:08:29,859
We're really doing it!

216
00:08:29,923 --> 00:08:31,630
[LAUGHS]

217
00:08:32,759 --> 00:08:33,931
[SQUEAK!]

218
00:08:33,994 --> 00:08:37,066
Jake! What are you doing?
What happened to the plan?

219
00:08:37,130 --> 00:08:40,077
New plan. I'm gonna
help Princess Cookie escape.

220
00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:42,374
What?
But — but he's a criminal.

221
00:08:42,436 --> 00:08:45,042
No, man.
Princess Cookie's a good guy.

222
00:08:45,105 --> 00:08:46,880
He just got dealt a bad hand.

223
00:08:46,940 --> 00:08:48,544
He's only trying to be what

224
00:08:48,608 --> 00:08:51,248
following how his dreams
make you want to be, man.

225
00:08:51,311 --> 00:08:52,756
Whaaaat?

226
00:08:52,813 --> 00:08:54,690
You're either with us
or against us.

227
00:08:54,748 --> 00:08:57,194
Um...
against?

228
00:08:57,250 --> 00:08:58,729
Aah! Ohh!

229
00:08:58,785 --> 00:09:00,560
[LAUGHING]

230
00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,691
[SQUEAK!]

231
00:09:05,826 --> 00:09:07,499
[LAUGHING]

232
00:09:07,561 --> 00:09:09,336
Hold on tight, Cookie!

233
00:09:09,396 --> 00:09:11,740
I'm gonna jump the gorge!

234
00:09:14,534 --> 00:09:16,207
No, Jake.
Stop the horse.

235
00:09:16,269 --> 00:09:18,442
I can make it!

236
00:09:18,505 --> 00:09:21,281
BOTH:
Ohh! Aah!

237
00:09:21,341 --> 00:09:22,843
Princess Cookie!

238
00:09:22,909 --> 00:09:24,081
Are you all right?

239
00:09:24,144 --> 00:09:25,020
[GROANS]

240
00:09:25,078 --> 00:09:26,989
I'm done for, Jake.

241
00:09:28,448 --> 00:09:30,394
No!
Everythings gonna be fine!

242
00:09:30,450 --> 00:09:32,396
I won't let them
put you in the dungeon!

243
00:09:32,452 --> 00:09:34,398
Just let me talk to them!

244
00:09:34,454 --> 00:09:35,990
No, Jake.

245
00:09:36,056 --> 00:09:39,526
Thank you for your help, but
it's too late for me.

246
00:09:41,962 --> 00:09:44,135
I'll never be a princess.

247
00:09:44,197 --> 00:09:46,143
At least for a moment,

248
00:09:46,199 --> 00:09:49,146
you helped me feel like a princess.

249
00:09:49,202 --> 00:09:51,148
It was wonderful.

250
00:09:51,204 --> 00:09:53,115
Thank you, Jake.

251
00:09:55,008 --> 00:09:56,419
Careful, Princess!

252
00:09:56,476 --> 00:09:58,513
You know what —
it's funny,

253
00:09:58,578 --> 00:10:02,116
but you sort of remind me
of a mailman I used to know.

254
00:10:02,182 --> 00:10:03,593
I do?

255
00:10:03,650 --> 00:10:05,994
Yep.

256
00:10:07,220 --> 00:10:09,097
[WIND HOWLING]

257
00:10:10,457 --> 00:10:12,266
Princess!

258
00:10:15,195 --> 00:10:17,402
[CRASH!]

259
00:10:17,464 --> 00:10:19,466
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]

260
00:10:22,068 --> 00:10:24,173
I glubbed up!

261
00:10:24,237 --> 00:10:26,274
[BIRDS CHIRPING]

262
00:10:26,339 --> 00:10:28,819
Knight to E5.

263
00:10:30,644 --> 00:10:32,590
Where's Baby Snaps?

264
00:10:32,646 --> 00:10:34,387
Excuse me, your highness?

265
00:10:34,448 --> 00:10:37,054
[GASPS]
Jake!

266
00:10:39,052 --> 00:10:40,998
Oh, hey.
Check it out.

267
00:10:41,054 --> 00:10:43,660
Special delivery
from the Grass Kingdom.

268
00:10:43,723 --> 00:10:44,997
[TWINKLE!]

269
00:10:45,058 --> 00:10:46,332
ALL:
[GASP]

270
00:10:46,393 --> 00:10:48,236
[GASPS]

271
00:10:52,966 --> 00:10:54,570
He's a princess?

272
00:10:54,634 --> 00:10:57,114
- I had no idea.
- Royalty!

273
00:11:00,807 --> 00:11:02,480
Ahh!

274
00:11:17,157 --> 00:11:18,463
[BIRDS CHIRPING]

275
00:11:18,523 --> 00:11:20,965
[MUNCH! MUNCH!
MUNCH!]

276
00:11:21,021 --> 00:11:22,362
Aaah!

277
00:11:24,054 --> 00:11:26,554
[SLUUUUURP!]

278
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:30,586
[MUNCHING LOUDLY]

279
00:11:34,483 --> 00:11:37,483
[SIGHING]

280
00:11:40,614 --> 00:11:42,489
Hey, Jake.
What's wrong?

281
00:11:42,547 --> 00:11:44,751
You look dumpy.
How come?

282
00:11:44,813 --> 00:11:48,585
I-Is it because
of that metal box?

283
00:11:48,645 --> 00:11:50,247
Is something sad inside?

284
00:11:50,312 --> 00:11:52,220
No. It's nothing.

285
00:11:52,277 --> 00:11:54,447
There's lots of boxes
that have nothing in them.

286
00:11:54,510 --> 00:11:56,612
But also, you could put
something in the box.

287
00:11:56,676 --> 00:11:58,244
And then it won't be empty!

288
00:11:58,309 --> 00:11:59,911
Does that make you feel better?

289
00:11:59,975 --> 00:12:01,350
[CHUCKLES]

290
00:12:01,408 --> 00:12:03,112
You're a charmer,
Finn human.

291
00:12:03,172 --> 00:12:05,309
No.
It's... well...

292
00:12:05,372 --> 00:12:07,247
Lady Rainicorn doesn't want to play

293
00:12:07,305 --> 00:12:09,407
the game Card Wars with me.

294
00:12:11,304 --> 00:12:12,747
I always beat her.

295
00:12:12,803 --> 00:12:15,246
So she says, "no more
card warring."

296
00:12:15,302 --> 00:12:16,746
What's Card Wars?

297
00:12:16,801 --> 00:12:18,074
It's a fantasy card game

298
00:12:18,135 --> 00:12:20,338
that's super-complicated and awesome,

299
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,503
but, well...
oh, it's kinda stupid.

300
00:12:22,566 --> 00:12:24,167
Never mind.

301
00:12:24,232 --> 00:12:25,834
How come you never
talked about it before?

302
00:12:25,897 --> 00:12:27,670
It sounds cool.
- Really?

303
00:12:27,730 --> 00:12:29,832
Well, I thought you'd say
it was for nerds

304
00:12:29,896 --> 00:12:31,430
who do not know how life is

305
00:12:31,496 --> 00:12:33,337
outside of the nerd universe.

306
00:12:33,396 --> 00:12:34,634
I-it is, man.

307
00:12:34,695 --> 00:12:36,797
But I still totally
want to play it.

308
00:12:36,860 --> 00:12:38,202
So no more moping, okay?

309
00:12:38,259 --> 00:12:40,066
Thanks, Finn.

310
00:12:43,091 --> 00:12:45,863
[WINDOW CREAKS: GLASS SHATTERS]

311
00:12:48,423 --> 00:12:50,730
Oh, hey, Beemo.
You want to play, too'?

312
00:12:50,789 --> 00:12:54,663
No! I do not play
such games... with Jake!

313
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:56,754
- What's that mean?
- JAKE: Ah, whatever.

314
00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:59,728
Let's play the game!

315
00:12:59,785 --> 00:13:01,956
So, what kind of stakes
do we play for?

316
00:13:02,019 --> 00:13:03,892
How about the loser...

317
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,552
is a dweeb,

318
00:13:05,616 --> 00:13:07,184
and the winner is a cool guy?

319
00:13:07,249 --> 00:13:08,851
Those are good stakes.

320
00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,481
Coffee grounds, beetle butter,

321
00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:19,147
grape jelly, kimchi,

322
00:13:19,211 --> 00:13:22,313
aaand this stuff.

323
00:13:22,377 --> 00:13:25,047
Hey! You're ruining that pop
with weird taste!

324
00:13:25,109 --> 00:13:28,382
[SQUIGGLE! SQUIGGLE!]

325
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:30,816
We drink when the game is over.

326
00:13:30,874 --> 00:13:32,112
Oh, gross.

327
00:13:32,173 --> 00:13:34,514
Now, let me explain the rules.

328
00:13:35,505 --> 00:13:37,176
That's basically the basics.

329
00:13:37,238 --> 00:13:39,306
So once we have
our kingdom setup...

330
00:13:39,371 --> 00:13:40,404
[ELECTRONIC BEEPING]

331
00:13:40,470 --> 00:13:41,913
it's time to start to play...

332
00:13:41,969 --> 00:13:43,844
for the gloryyyy!

333
00:13:43,903 --> 00:13:45,437
Huh?

334
00:13:45,502 --> 00:13:46,843
Hey, were you asleep?

335
00:13:46,902 --> 00:13:49,208
I'll have to explain it
all over again!

336
00:13:49,267 --> 00:13:50,972
Doesn't matter.
Let's just play.

337
00:13:51,033 --> 00:13:52,806
But if you don't know the rules,

338
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,809
then you're gonna lose
in the first couple rounds,

339
00:13:54,865 --> 00:13:56,467
like Lady always does.

340
00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:58,973
And then you'll hate the game.
And then you'll hate max'

341
00:13:59,030 --> 00:14:00,473
And then, and then —

342
00:14:00,529 --> 00:14:02,302
Pfft!
You think you're gonna win?

343
00:14:02,363 --> 00:14:05,602
I'm gonna crush you —
party-dance style, dweeb!

344
00:14:05,661 --> 00:14:07,433
[LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY]
Bring it!

345
00:14:07,493 --> 00:14:09,437
So, how do I get
my land on the map'?

346
00:14:09,493 --> 00:14:11,095
Oh.

347
00:14:11,159 --> 00:14:13,533
You, uh, floop your land cards.

348
00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:15,330
[ELECTRONIC BEEPING]

349
00:14:16,324 --> 00:14:17,824
Uh...

350
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,390
Keep those honeys hidden,

351
00:14:19,456 --> 00:14:21,364
or I'll get a strategic advantage!

352
00:14:21,421 --> 00:14:23,057
Oh!
Hmm...

353
00:14:23,121 --> 00:14:24,894
Okay, I go first.

354
00:14:24,954 --> 00:14:27,794
I floop the Silo of Truth!

355
00:14:27,853 --> 00:14:29,421
[WHIRRING]

356
00:14:29,486 --> 00:14:31,258
[GASPS]
Hey!

357
00:14:31,318 --> 00:14:33,261
Pfft!
You got really lame cards.

358
00:14:33,317 --> 00:14:34,294
Hmm...

359
00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:37,294
I'll take the Cerebral Blood
Storm, though.

360
00:14:37,350 --> 00:14:38,725
[WHIRS]

361
00:14:38,782 --> 00:14:40,054
Huh?

362
00:14:40,115 --> 00:14:42,058
Okay, now it's the battle phase.

363
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:45,522
I'm attacking your schoolhouse
with my Husker Knights.

364
00:14:45,579 --> 00:14:46,817
[HORSE SNORTS]

365
00:14:46,878 --> 00:14:50,878
And, I'm casting Cerebral Blood Storm.

366
00:14:50,944 --> 00:14:52,115
[SHIMMER!]

367
00:14:52,177 --> 00:14:55,586
So, what do you use to defend?

368
00:14:55,643 --> 00:14:57,483
[HORSE WHINNIES]

369
00:14:57,542 --> 00:14:59,951
Uh...
can my Cool Dog

370
00:15:00,008 --> 00:15:01,951
and Ancient Scholar
defeat your Husker Knights?

371
00:15:02,007 --> 00:15:03,642
[LAUGHS]

372
00:15:03,706 --> 00:15:05,308
Of course not!

373
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:08,144
Hmm.
Then I floop the pig...

374
00:15:08,204 --> 00:15:09,738
What?
[LAUGHS]

375
00:15:09,804 --> 00:15:11,906
- What?
- Okay, okay.

376
00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:15,742
First of all, you don't floop
a creature to make it fight.

377
00:15:15,802 --> 00:15:17,404
You activate a creature.

378
00:15:17,468 --> 00:15:19,069
Hmm. No!

379
00:15:19,133 --> 00:15:22,133
It says I can
floop the pig. See?

380
00:15:22,199 --> 00:15:26,437
[PIG SNORTING]

381
00:15:26,497 --> 00:15:28,441
[GASPS]
No!

382
00:15:28,497 --> 00:15:30,337
He's eating all my cornfields!

383
00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:33,600
My Husker Knights
draw energy from corn!

384
00:15:33,661 --> 00:15:35,661
And since I'm not
actually attacking,

385
00:15:35,728 --> 00:15:37,534
your Cerebral Blood Storm
only does damage

386
00:15:37,594 --> 00:15:39,662
to your own kingdom's troops.

387
00:15:39,726 --> 00:15:40,567
[THUNDER CRASHES]

388
00:15:40,626 --> 00:15:41,932
[GASPS]

389
00:15:41,992 --> 00:15:44,935
You just wiped out
my entire attack!

390
00:15:44,991 --> 00:15:47,831
What do you expect if all your
power units come from corn?

391
00:15:47,890 --> 00:15:50,833
Pigs eat corn, dude.
Cornfields stink.

392
00:15:50,889 --> 00:15:53,297
Cornfields are awesome!

393
00:15:53,354 --> 00:15:55,991
What makes you think you know
so much about Card Wars?

394
00:15:56,054 --> 00:15:58,724
- It's just logic.
- Your turn.

395
00:15:58,786 --> 00:15:59,888
Hmm...

396
00:15:59,952 --> 00:16:01,623
You're supposed
to discard a card

397
00:16:01,685 --> 00:16:03,458
and pick up a new one first.

398
00:16:03,518 --> 00:16:04,620
Oh, right.

399
00:16:04,684 --> 00:16:06,921
Look at you.
You're a babe in the woods.

400
00:16:06,982 --> 00:16:09,051
Your beginner's luck
ends this round!

401
00:16:09,115 --> 00:16:11,183
Hmm.

402
00:16:14,513 --> 00:16:17,718
Spirit Tower!
And the Cave of Solitude?

403
00:16:17,779 --> 00:16:19,881
Now my battle phase
begins.

404
00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:23,887
I activate my ancient scholar
to begin studying.

405
00:16:23,943 --> 00:16:26,681
And I also move my pig
to the Cave of Solitude

406
00:16:26,741 --> 00:16:28,946
so he can take a nap.

407
00:16:29,008 --> 00:16:31,746
That's it?
You're not attacking?

408
00:16:31,807 --> 00:16:33,443
I'll attack on a different turn.

409
00:16:33,507 --> 00:16:35,450
Ha!
Then the seas have aligned

410
00:16:35,506 --> 00:16:37,449
and the five winds
waft the smell of victory

411
00:16:37,505 --> 00:16:39,311
to my palace doors!

412
00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:41,439
I cast
"Field of Nightmares"

413
00:16:41,504 --> 00:16:43,412
and activate my legion of ear-lings

414
00:16:43,469 --> 00:16:44,968
to scare your pig to death!

415
00:16:45,035 --> 00:16:46,070
♪ La, la, la, la ♪

416
00:16:46,136 --> 00:16:47,975
My pig's in the Cave of Solitude.

417
00:16:48,034 --> 00:16:50,308
Um...
I cast "Teleport"

418
00:16:50,367 --> 00:16:52,071
to move your
pig to the empty field

419
00:16:52,133 --> 00:16:53,633
so I can attack him!

420
00:16:53,699 --> 00:16:55,642
Uh... wouldn't "Teleport"
only work

421
00:16:55,698 --> 00:16:57,936
on your own creatures?
- You're right.

422
00:16:57,997 --> 00:16:59,736
I'm gonna slay that pig, though.

423
00:16:59,796 --> 00:17:02,467
How? You don't have any
creatures that can touch him.

424
00:17:02,529 --> 00:17:03,597
Ugh!

425
00:17:03,662 --> 00:17:06,537
Face it, man.
I'm the cool guy.

426
00:17:06,594 --> 00:17:07,832
Hmm...

427
00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:10,460
[GASPS]
You're the cool guy, huh?

428
00:17:10,525 --> 00:17:13,434
Well, let me make it a little
hot for you, then.

429
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,093
[CHUCKLES]

430
00:17:15,157 --> 00:17:17,135
I floop the volcano.

431
00:17:17,191 --> 00:17:18,133
What?

432
00:17:18,190 --> 00:17:19,963
That'll destroy your kingdom,
too, won't it'?

433
00:17:20,023 --> 00:17:21,966
Hmph! Maybe
Oh!

434
00:17:22,022 --> 00:17:23,829
Aah!

435
00:17:23,888 --> 00:17:24,921
My Pig!

436
00:17:24,987 --> 00:17:26,055
♪ La, la ♪

437
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,257
Aah!

438
00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,489
[CHUCKLES EVILLY]

439
00:17:30,552 --> 00:17:32,427
The pig is dead.

440
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,291
Now I reconstitute my cornfields

441
00:17:34,350 --> 00:17:37,122
using the "Reclaim Landscape" spell.

442
00:17:37,183 --> 00:17:38,683
My Husker Knights, revive!

443
00:17:38,749 --> 00:17:39,886
[HORSE SNORTS]

444
00:17:39,948 --> 00:17:42,823
And I still have
my battle phase.

445
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:47,345
Hiding in the useless swamp,
the Immortal Maize Walker!

446
00:17:47,412 --> 00:17:49,583
I love corn!

447
00:17:49,646 --> 00:17:51,588
Ah!

448
00:17:51,644 --> 00:17:54,849
Cornfields give the immortal
maize walker triple damage.

449
00:17:54,910 --> 00:17:56,216
Uh...

450
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:58,651
I told you cornfields
are awesome!

451
00:17:58,708 --> 00:18:00,582
Your Ancient Scholar
and Cool Dog

452
00:18:00,641 --> 00:18:02,380
won't survive this time.

453
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,383
Actually, my Ancient
Scholar's been studying

454
00:18:04,439 --> 00:18:06,110
the "Raise the Dead" ability.

455
00:18:06,173 --> 00:18:08,013
- So what?
- So...

456
00:18:08,071 --> 00:18:10,605
My Ancient Scholar
raises the dead.

457
00:18:10,671 --> 00:18:11,943
[PIG SNORTS]

458
00:18:12,004 --> 00:18:13,276
I floop the pig.

459
00:18:13,336 --> 00:18:17,039
No-o-o-o-o-o!

460
00:18:17,101 --> 00:18:19,976
Look.
My towefls doing a thing.

461
00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:23,374
Hominy-hominy-hominy!

462
00:18:23,433 --> 00:18:25,706
You ganked
my Spirit Walker!

463
00:18:25,765 --> 00:18:27,242
Ah!

464
00:18:27,298 --> 00:18:30,332
[MUMBLING ANGRILY]

465
00:18:30,397 --> 00:18:33,033
Uh, maybe we should
take a break?

466
00:18:33,096 --> 00:18:35,197
[GROANS]

467
00:18:35,261 --> 00:18:36,704
Your turn.

468
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,294
Huh?

469
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:39,394
You Play!

470
00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:40,903
You Play!

471
00:18:41,893 --> 00:18:43,335
Oh, zang.

472
00:18:43,391 --> 00:18:45,300
I do not play such games...

473
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:48,597
with Jake.

474
00:18:48,657 --> 00:18:52,497
Sorry! I gotta
use the boy style room.

475
00:18:52,555 --> 00:18:55,930
Beemo! Beemo!

476
00:18:55,988 --> 00:18:57,260
Beemo chop!

477
00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:59,922
If this were a real attack,
you'd be dead.

478
00:18:59,986 --> 00:19:02,485
Beemo! Jake's acting
boonoonoonoos!

479
00:19:02,551 --> 00:19:05,551
Oh, no! Are you winning
the game of Card Wars?

480
00:19:05,617 --> 00:19:07,560
- Yeah!
- That's terrible!

481
00:19:07,616 --> 00:19:10,559
If Jake loses that game,
he gets super depressed!

482
00:19:10,615 --> 00:19:14,252
When I beat him, he wouldn't
talk to me for a month!

483
00:19:14,314 --> 00:19:15,723
What?

484
00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,723
I only played
so he wouldn't be bummed!

485
00:19:17,779 --> 00:19:20,517
Finn, you must take a dive.

486
00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:21,919
Okay, I'll try.

487
00:19:21,978 --> 00:19:24,250
But I'm a Card Wars
super Amadeus.

488
00:19:24,309 --> 00:19:26,877
Whoop!

489
00:19:26,942 --> 00:19:30,407
Play... the... game.

490
00:19:30,474 --> 00:19:32,418
[THINKING]
Grob. Better make this look good.

491
00:19:32,474 --> 00:19:34,177
[BREATHES DEEPLY]

492
00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:37,512
All right, Jake.
Prepare for my ultimo-attack!

493
00:19:37,571 --> 00:19:41,139
Well, I've still got
my Wandering Bald Man.

494
00:19:41,203 --> 00:19:42,908
Oh, no.

495
00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:44,379
I need to get rid of my pig

496
00:19:44,436 --> 00:19:48,207
so Jake can reconstitute
his cornfields.

497
00:19:48,267 --> 00:19:50,006
I activate the pig

498
00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:52,907
to attack your Wandering Bald Man.

499
00:19:52,966 --> 00:19:55,307
That's stupid.

500
00:19:55,364 --> 00:19:56,740
Just attack
with Immortal Maize Walker

501
00:19:56,798 --> 00:19:58,399
and get the game over with!

502
00:19:58,463 --> 00:19:59,702
No way!

503
00:19:59,764 --> 00:20:05,570
You've underestimated me
and my pig all day.

504
00:20:05,628 --> 00:20:08,503
[THINKING]
Please lose. Please lose.

505
00:20:15,991 --> 00:20:18,058
No-o-o-o!

506
00:20:18,123 --> 00:20:19,759
[GRUNTS]

507
00:20:19,822 --> 00:20:22,095
[DIG SNORTS]

508
00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:25,291
[PIG SQUEALING]

509
00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:28,796
Oh-ho!
Oh! Oh, yeah!

510
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:32,125
Pigs can't leave mud landscapes
once they're on them!

511
00:20:32,184 --> 00:20:35,059
Ha ha ha!
The pig is mine!

512
00:20:35,117 --> 00:20:37,821
First, I'll play Reclaim Landscape.

513
00:20:37,882 --> 00:20:40,553
Then I cast "Summon Archer Dan."

514
00:20:45,546 --> 00:20:48,251
Whoa, math...

515
00:20:51,877 --> 00:20:52,877
[GRUNTS]

516
00:20:52,944 --> 00:20:54,320
M'boys!

517
00:20:54,376 --> 00:20:56,216
You have no creatures left.

518
00:20:56,275 --> 00:20:58,549
That's the game, boy!

519
00:20:58,609 --> 00:21:02,210
The five winds blow through
cornfields once again

520
00:21:02,273 --> 00:21:04,716
for the glory of Jakoria!

521
00:21:04,773 --> 00:21:07,306
Heh. You got me.

522
00:21:07,372 --> 00:21:09,316
In your face!

523
00:21:09,371 --> 00:21:12,473
It's time to drink up!

524
00:21:12,536 --> 00:21:15,036
It looks like
you are the dweeb

525
00:21:15,103 --> 00:21:17,375
and Mn the cool guy.

526
00:21:17,434 --> 00:21:19,708
[SLURPS]

527
00:21:19,768 --> 00:21:21,438
[SNIFFS]

528
00:21:21,500 --> 00:21:23,340
[GAGS]

529
00:21:23,399 --> 00:21:25,035
Is it too gross for you, man?

530
00:21:25,099 --> 00:21:26,542
No, no.

531
00:21:26,598 --> 00:21:28,302
I got to take what's coming to me.

532
00:21:28,363 --> 00:21:30,432
[SLURPS]

533
00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:31,667
[GULPS]

534
00:21:31,730 --> 00:21:34,639
Hey, it's not that bad!
I like it!

535
00:21:34,695 --> 00:21:38,002
- What?
- You want a taste?

536
00:21:38,061 --> 00:21:39,832
[SLURPS]

537
00:21:39,892 --> 00:21:41,392
Ah, it's gross!

538
00:21:41,459 --> 00:21:43,698
[LAUGHS]
In your face, dweeb!

539
00:21:47,224 --> 00:21:49,598
[SLURPING]

540
00:21:49,656 --> 00:21:51,656
[BOTH LAUGH]

541
00:21:51,723 --> 00:21:54,757
[SLURPING]

542
00:21:55,854 --> 00:21:59,819
♪ Come along with me ♪

543
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:03,794
♪ and the butterflies and bees ♪

544
00:22:03,851 --> 00:22:07,793
♪ We can wander through the forest ♪

545
00:22:07,849 --> 00:22:11,792
♪ and do so as we please ♪

546
00:22:11,848 --> 00:22:15,814
♪ Come along with me ♪

547
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,447
♪ to a cliff under a tree ♪

548
00:22:19,305 --> 00:23:19,525
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