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♪ Adventure Time ♪

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♪ Come on, grab your friends ♪

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♪ We'll go to very distant lands ♪

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♪ With Jake the Dog
and Finn the Human ♪

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♪ The fun will never end ♪

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♪ It's Adventure Time ♪
Ripped By mstoll

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If I hear another peep,
there's gonna be trouble.

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Final warning!

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Okay. Go ahead, Beemo.

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Okay, welcome back
to the program.

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We're talking with my special
guest, Finn the Human.

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Hello.

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Now, Finn, you were saying
something interesting...

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that you're getting out
of the romance biz.

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So, what happened?

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Well, I don't want
to bore your listeners...

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but let's just say
the time has come

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to stop dating Princesses
and return to saving 'em.

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And you're not just
saying that to, uh,

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make yourself seem more
attractive?

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Yeah, of course.
No games goin' on here.

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Hold on. What's that noise?

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I think that someone's
knocking at the door.

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- Can you see who it is?
- Yes, Jake.

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So it's going pretty
good, huh?

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Yeah, but maybe we should stop
talking about this love junk

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and get back to
adventuring.

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Finn! Jake! I need your help!
It's an emergency!

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Now we're talking!

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Don't cry, Slime Princess.
We're at your service.

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I need Finn to marry me.

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I'm sorry, S. P., but
I've given up the dating scene.

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You don't understand.

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If I don't get a husband,
I'll lose my kingdom.

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- I'll do it!
- What did I tell you?

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Please let me explain.

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Recently, my much hotter
younger sister Blargatha,

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married a slime rogue
named Guillermo.

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As a result,
Elder Plops decreed

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that if I was not married
by tomorrow,

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rule of the Slime Kingdom
would pass to my sister,

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which I'd be,
like, totally fine with,

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except I recently discovered
they are both evil.

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Evil to the core!

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They plan to militarize
the Kingdom

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and begin a campaign of
aggressive conquest,

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sacking our neighboring
kingdoms,

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stealing their resources,
and eventually

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taking over the entire world!

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Ew.

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Finn, this will happen
unless someone marries me.

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No.

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Psst!

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Please, Finn. I know I've
crushed on you in the past,

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but I have no intention
of locking this down.

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Our marriage will be
in name only.

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Mm...

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Wait! I'm coming,
too!

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I'm gonna eat popcorn
and make hilarious jokes.

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Aw. Who ate
all my popcorn?

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Call this a room?

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There's not even a window.

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Oh, wait. Are we rolling?

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How much farther?

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This popcorn's not gonna
last all day.

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All right, now it might.

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We're here.

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Welcome to my little oasis
in the wasteland.

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Oasis? More like, "No way, sis!"

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Huh?

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Whoa! This is amazing!

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You okay, buddy?

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You could say I got out of there
in the "lick" of time.

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Zing!

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Quickly. We're already late.

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This is the
most important place in the Kingdom.

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The Royal Palace?

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No, it's where me and all
my main splirts hang out.

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Hi, girls!

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H-I-I-I-I-I!

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Tree Trunks and Mr. Pig,
what are you doing here?

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Oh, we always come here when
we want to shake it, Finn.

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It's the only
triple-cray-rated disco

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in all of Ooo.

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Get your face pretty, Finn.

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My people are already
assembled in the courtyard.

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Greetings, loyal slimejects!

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I would like to introduce
my new husband...

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Finn the Human!

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What did I tell you?
Piece of cake.

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Attention, my loyal slimejects.

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It's Blargatha.

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And that's the mysterious
Guillermo.

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He hails from a faraway, much
more somber Slime Kingdom

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where people have
strange customs

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and no love in their eyes.

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Their discos aren't even
rated one cray.

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My husband would like to say
something.

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And, uh, he would, too,

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if not for his extremely
sore throat,

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so I will say it for him.

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We challenge you
to the Trials of Glarb.

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I object!

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Ancient traditions
such as the Trials of Glarb

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are no longer relevant in our
modern self-indulgent society.

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Order! Order! I demand order!

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I, Elder Plops,

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being the coolest guy
in the room,

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will settle this dispute.

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The matter will be settled on
the battleground...

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All right!

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the battleground of love.
- Aw!

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The couple that I deem
most truly in love

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shall rule the Slime Kingdom
for life.

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Plops out.

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This is, like,
the opposite of what you wanted.

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Welcome, everyone to the Trials of Glarb,

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hosted by me, Elder Plops.

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The first trial will be
crooning.

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You guys are gonna get into
these sweet boats I made

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and croon for each other
on the lake.

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The most loving
and heartfelt song,

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judged by me, Elder Plops,
will win.

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I really want to hear some
emotional song work here.

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The people want to hear
emotional stuff.

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So let's see some stuff,
all right?

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Okay, Finn, you can do it.

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I don't know. I'm still
jacked up over my lady biz.

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Well, just lose yourself
in your own mind

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and go numb.

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Then let it all out.

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Okay.

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Just let it all out.

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♪ When I'm heating up
my lunch ♪

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♪ or delivering
a dungeon punch ♪

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♪ I can't ♪

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♪ get over you ♪

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♪ Your kiss is burned
into my brain ♪

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♪ Simon's hair is
clogging up my drain ♪

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♪ I just can't ♪

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♪ get over you ♪

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♪ See your face
all over Ooo ♪

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♪ Sticks to me
like a coat of glue ♪

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♪ I can't ♪

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♪ get over you ♪

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Why can't I get over you?

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Finn, way to go.

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I could tell the people were
really impressed.

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Guillermo, you're up.

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Hmm? Okay, Guillermo.
I'll ask, I'll ask...

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Guillermo still
has a sore throat!

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May I sing on, uh, his behalf?

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Elder Plops thinks
that's okay.

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♪ I want to touch
your hand with my hand ♪

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♪ I want to rub your cheek
with my cheek ♪

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♪ Maybe later we can get
"do not disturb" ♪

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I'm done!

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As Elder Plops, I have heard
many songs in my life,

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and I can only say this...

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Finn, you win this one.

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- Whoo!
- Yes!

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Welcome, everyone,
to our second trial...

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spooning.

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When I say go, the big spoon
will put his arm

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around the little spoon
and cuddle.

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I will be watching you spoon,

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measuring and assessing
your love

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by posture and overall
vibe.

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The best cuddle,
or spoon, wins.

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Wait. What?

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Spooners, get in your
futons.

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Uh, I don't feel good
about this.

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Ready, set...

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spoon!

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No, wait.
I don't want to do this!

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Wrap those gorgeous pythons
around me!

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No! This feels weird!

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Come on, Finn, they're
crushing us!

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Wuh! Wuh! Wuh!

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Blargatha and Guillermo,
very nice.

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Nooooooooooooooooo!

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Yeesh.
All right, everyone, stop.

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I've seen enough.

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Blargatha and Guillermo's love
was way-off-the-charts good.

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They win.
- Yes!

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I love you, baby.
You spoon so good!

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No!

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The score is tied.

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There's one more trial after
spooning and crooning...

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smooching.

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I'm sorry it doesn't rhyme
with crooning and spooning.

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We will begin our next trial
on the morrow!

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This is not going well.

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I'm sorry,
Slime Princess.

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I'm just going to mess
this next trial up.

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Is it because you haven't
done much kissing?

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You don't have to be embarrassed
by your innocence.

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Pretending to be in love
is making me sad.

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It makes me think about
Flame Princess.

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00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:02,641
What if I pretend to be
your ex?

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00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:03,902
That's worse, I think.

203
00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:05,910
Well, it looks like I'm
losing my kingdom

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00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:07,240
to the forces of evil.

205
00:09:07,313 --> 00:09:09,247
No, Slime Princess.

206
00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:11,112
Let's practice this smooch.

207
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,214
Mmmmm.

208
00:09:16,989 --> 00:09:20,049
I'm sorry.
I... I can't!

209
00:09:20,126 --> 00:09:21,821
Bunk this!

210
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:23,452
Wait! Where are you going?

211
00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:25,588
I'm going to punch
Guillermo in his stupid face

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00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:26,996
'til he agrees to leave
the kingdom.

213
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:28,931
I want to come!

214
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,501
Hey, Guillermo!
Can you come out here for a...

215
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,099
quick meeting?

216
00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:39,838
More like a quick beating.
Hey-o!

217
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:42,745
He says eat a fat dollop
and buzz off!

218
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:46,476
Blargatha!

219
00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:49,419
Hyup!

220
00:09:49,488 --> 00:09:50,955
Hmm.

221
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:58,023
Finn, you shouldn't
break in to a woman's room.

222
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,997
Hyah! Hyah!

223
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:00,930
Everyone okay?

224
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,797
Yes. "Tank" you.

225
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,140
Hyah!

226
00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:09,003
Eh?

227
00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:10,736
Guillermo!

228
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:11,970
Hyah!

229
00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:15,138
Are you dead, man?

230
00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:16,806
Aw, geez, bro.

231
00:10:16,882 --> 00:10:18,850
Huh?
These are olives.

232
00:10:18,918 --> 00:10:19,782
Uh-oh.

233
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:22,082
Blargatha, why would you
make a fake husband?

234
00:10:22,154 --> 00:10:24,554
You're <i>so</i> hot!

235
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,888
You don't know how hard
it is to be this hot.

236
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,927
Women don't want to talk to you
because they're intimidated,

237
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:31,793
and guys won't talk to you
because they're too scared.

238
00:10:31,864 --> 00:10:35,163
You're alone in the hottest,
most sexiest prison.

239
00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:36,895
So I stuck some olives
on a glop of gelatin

240
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:38,493
and called him
my lover.

241
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,004
Well, I'm sorry, Blargatha,

242
00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:41,369
but you're going to have
to spend more time

243
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,431
in your metaphorical prison
in a real prison,

244
00:10:43,509 --> 00:10:45,272
'cause what you're doing
is illegal.

245
00:10:45,344 --> 00:10:48,245
Uh, no, it just disqualifies
her from challenging me.

246
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,440
Whoops.

247
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:54,181
By the authority
of Elder Plops,

248
00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:55,845
I officially declare...

249
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:57,684
you are still
the Slime Princess.

250
00:10:57,757 --> 00:10:59,725
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

251
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,555
Finn, what do you think?

252
00:11:01,627 --> 00:11:03,925
I don't want to
disappoint all these people.

253
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:08,600
I'm sorry! I can't do it!

254
00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:17,633
♪ Come along with me ♪

255
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:21,510
♪ And the butterflies and bees ♪

256
00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:25,107
♪ We can wander through the forest ♪

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♪ And do so as we please ♪

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♪ Come along with me ♪

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♪ To a cliff under a tree ♪

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- This party is so crazy!
- Ripped By mstoll

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