1 00:00:01,343 --> 00:00:03,334 And if it happens again I'll put a lock on it... 2 00:00:03,512 --> 00:00:05,480 so no one can enjoy it. 3 00:00:05,648 --> 00:00:08,310 Moving on, item seven. 4 00:00:08,484 --> 00:00:11,647 Oh, I'm afraid I have some tragic news. 5 00:00:11,820 --> 00:00:13,947 - Um, item six wasn't tragic? - Zip it. 6 00:00:14,123 --> 00:00:15,681 - Wow. - Agent Hector Ruíz... 7 00:00:15,858 --> 00:00:17,917 who had infiltrated El Frente Rojo... 8 00:00:18,093 --> 00:00:20,357 was killed last night when his cover was blown. 9 00:00:20,529 --> 00:00:22,053 - My little burrito. - Wait, who? 10 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:24,165 How in the world did his cover get blown? 11 00:00:31,006 --> 00:00:34,203 Ruíz? Hey man, talk to these chicks, all right? 12 00:00:34,376 --> 00:00:37,072 Tell them how we're really ISIS agents! 13 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,612 They don't believe me. Hello? 14 00:00:39,782 --> 00:00:41,943 Señor Wingman? 15 00:00:42,117 --> 00:00:44,847 - He probably got careless. - I'm sure Hector didn't get... 16 00:00:45,020 --> 00:00:46,783 Oh, come on. Ruíz was a loose cannon. 17 00:00:46,956 --> 00:00:50,016 He played fast and he played loose. And in the end, he got burned. 18 00:00:50,192 --> 00:00:51,750 - Be that as it may! - Loose cannon. 19 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:55,522 For ISIS to continue enjoying Title 6 tax incentives... 20 00:00:55,698 --> 00:00:57,598 we have to meet certain... 21 00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:59,700 diversity requirements. 22 00:00:59,868 --> 00:01:02,029 - Oh, I think we're pretty diverse. - Ha. Please. 23 00:01:02,204 --> 00:01:03,933 What? You're blackish. 24 00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:06,131 - Ish? - Well, what's the word for it, Lana? 25 00:01:06,308 --> 00:01:08,833 - You freaked out when I said "quadroon." - Imagine that! 26 00:01:09,011 --> 00:01:12,105 - You imagine it! - Both of you, imagine shutting up! 27 00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:14,875 Because after losing Agent Pak last year... 28 00:01:15,050 --> 00:01:17,848 Hey, tell this broad what's up with ISIS, Pak-man. 29 00:01:18,020 --> 00:01:20,488 Wokka, wokka, wokka! 30 00:01:20,656 --> 00:01:24,422 - And then Agent Mgumbe... - You going to this lame ISIS picnic? 31 00:01:24,593 --> 00:01:27,084 - Loose cannons! - the ISIS palette has become... 32 00:01:27,262 --> 00:01:28,820 decidedly monochromatic. 33 00:01:28,998 --> 00:01:31,967 - I'm one sixty-fourth Cherokee. - Shut up! 34 00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:33,260 - So stupid. - What? 35 00:01:33,435 --> 00:01:37,098 - A, no, you're probably not. - And B through Z, nobody gives a shit. 36 00:01:37,272 --> 00:01:38,330 - Racist! - What? 37 00:01:38,507 --> 00:01:39,940 You're anti-Native American. 38 00:01:41,343 --> 00:01:43,072 - Jeez! - Come on. 39 00:01:43,245 --> 00:01:44,337 Item eight. 40 00:01:44,513 --> 00:01:46,105 We need a diversity hire. 41 00:01:46,281 --> 00:01:48,806 - I vote Asian chick. - And after an exhaustive search... 42 00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,952 I found the perfect candidate. 43 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,521 So join me in welcoming our new ISIS agent... 44 00:01:54,690 --> 00:01:57,181 Stern. Conway Stern. 45 00:01:57,359 --> 00:02:00,294 He's a diversity double-whammy. 46 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:08,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 47 00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:34,158 So that was the firing range... 48 00:02:34,329 --> 00:02:35,887 and the cafeteria, and... 49 00:02:36,065 --> 00:02:39,626 - Do you keep kosher? - Well, I do have a weakness for prawns. 50 00:02:39,802 --> 00:02:43,499 Me too! I'll have them make paella tomorrow. 51 00:02:43,672 --> 00:02:46,664 Okay, that's the mainframe, and these are all just... 52 00:02:46,842 --> 00:02:48,707 - drones. - Hey, come on! 53 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:51,812 Malory, these are the unsung heroes of ISIS. 54 00:02:51,980 --> 00:02:54,244 Where'd we be without my man Cyril in accounting? 55 00:02:54,416 --> 00:02:56,145 Hey, thanks, bro. 56 00:02:56,318 --> 00:02:59,219 You got it, buddy. Or the lovely Pam in Human Resources. 57 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:00,821 Yeah, I am kind of lovely. 58 00:03:00,989 --> 00:03:04,447 And last but not least... I'm sorry, I don't know your name. 59 00:03:04,626 --> 00:03:07,220 - Me neither. - See? They don't know anything. 60 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:10,763 - Now, over here is a big corner office. - I see it's currently empty. 61 00:03:10,933 --> 00:03:12,798 Like my "vagine." 62 00:03:12,968 --> 00:03:16,404 Yeah, but unlike your dusty "vagine," it's not going to stay empty. 63 00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:19,063 Wait, you don't think you're getting the office. 64 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,471 Well, I am the Human Resources director. 65 00:03:21,643 --> 00:03:25,909 Pam, come on, let's face it. Your entire job could be done by a... 66 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,572 - A bulletin board. - You heard Conway. I'm essential! 67 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:32,846 How? I can go online and get a list of every federal holiday for the next... 68 00:03:33,021 --> 00:03:35,990 - Wow, ten thousand years. - Wait, really? Ten thousand? 69 00:03:36,158 --> 00:03:39,321 Hmm? Oh. No, this isn't even on. 70 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:42,594 - I'm gonna get that office! - I'm getting it, Pam! 71 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:46,256 Oh, my God, I am surrounded by idiots. 72 00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:49,131 And this is the locker room. 73 00:03:49,304 --> 00:03:51,397 Yeah, the, uh, lockers were a tip-off. 74 00:03:51,573 --> 00:03:55,509 Well, I'll leave you to it. But if you need anything... 75 00:03:55,677 --> 00:03:57,804 you know how to whistle, don't you, Conway? 76 00:03:57,980 --> 00:04:03,179 - Yup, lips together, blow. Got it. - Oh. Ha, ha. You are just a little treasure. 77 00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:06,754 Jesus, Conway. 78 00:04:06,922 --> 00:04:11,416 - What have you got yourself into, man? - You better pray it wasn't my mother. 79 00:04:11,593 --> 00:04:14,221 I'm fairly confident you misread that whole situation. 80 00:04:14,396 --> 00:04:18,127 - Oh, yeah? - I'm real confident you misread this one. 81 00:04:20,202 --> 00:04:22,295 - Uh, how about this one? - This one, uh... 82 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:26,134 - actually seems kind of gay. - Maybe because our penises are touching. 83 00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:29,971 Yeah, so, let's go on... 84 00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:31,635 Three! 85 00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:36,311 - What? You, uh, see something you like? - Wha...? No, you queer! 86 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:38,146 Oh, I'm queer? From the guy... 87 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,379 whose tiny gun came with a matching purse? 88 00:04:40,556 --> 00:04:42,615 Hey, it's got plenty of stopping power. 89 00:04:42,791 --> 00:04:44,418 What? That little...? 90 00:04:44,593 --> 00:04:46,652 - Goddamn it, Archer! Again! - Oh, shit. 91 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:49,388 See that? He was putting on his pants and I stopped him. 92 00:04:49,565 --> 00:04:52,728 So you just watch your step, mister, uh... 93 00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:54,732 - Damn it. - There, should have gone with: 94 00:04:54,903 --> 00:04:57,428 - "Sammy Gay-vis Junior." - Damn it! 95 00:04:57,606 --> 00:04:59,801 Come on. She doesn't need a corner office... 96 00:04:59,975 --> 00:05:03,342 - just to Xerox the ISIS newsletter. - Color Xerox. 97 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,878 And what, you need more room to chop vegetables? 98 00:05:06,048 --> 00:05:09,142 All right! Obviously, I need to make a decision. 99 00:05:09,318 --> 00:05:11,411 But which shall it...? Oh! 100 00:05:11,587 --> 00:05:13,521 Or I could just give Conway both! 101 00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:16,157 - You what? - I already took care of those. 102 00:05:16,325 --> 00:05:18,316 Frodo and Salsa were my operations. 103 00:05:18,493 --> 00:05:21,894 At ease, Career Admiral, Malory was getting impatient on Salsa. 104 00:05:22,064 --> 00:05:24,828 - Salsa was a highly complex operation. - Two phone calls. 105 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,525 - And as for Frodo... - Wha...? 106 00:05:27,703 --> 00:05:30,331 Well, some pun involving hobbits. 107 00:05:30,505 --> 00:05:34,407 Like, I bet he wishes he was wearing Bilbo's coat of Dwarven mithril. 108 00:05:34,576 --> 00:05:36,237 - Gonna take your word on that. - Yeah? 109 00:05:36,411 --> 00:05:38,709 Well, take my word on this. 110 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,745 I am the top agent around here. 111 00:05:40,916 --> 00:05:43,180 - So watch it! - So, see, in Middle-earth... 112 00:05:43,352 --> 00:05:45,343 Shh. Shh, shh, shh. 113 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:46,578 Come on, buddy. 114 00:05:46,755 --> 00:05:48,882 - You're kidding. - No, I'm dead serious. 115 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,888 I wanna file a complaint against Conway. 116 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:53,994 - On what grounds? - He touched my penis with his penis. 117 00:05:54,162 --> 00:05:55,459 - Wow. - Yeah. 118 00:05:55,631 --> 00:05:58,156 "Byoop!" 119 00:05:58,333 --> 00:06:00,961 - Where? - All of it. Head and shaft. 120 00:06:01,136 --> 00:06:03,331 - And... Oh, you mean where in the building. - No. 121 00:06:03,505 --> 00:06:06,997 - That shouldn't matter, Pam. - I got this other complaint from Brett... 122 00:06:07,175 --> 00:06:08,733 - who said you shot him again. - Uh... 123 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,343 here's the thing about Brett. 124 00:06:12,614 --> 00:06:15,481 Oh, shit! Those were the newsletters! 125 00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:18,618 Cyril, I need a little favor. 126 00:06:18,787 --> 00:06:20,584 Okay, Carin... Oh. 127 00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:22,587 - Now it's Cristal? - Cristal. 128 00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:26,492 You know? Like the champagne. It's what hot black guys drink. 129 00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:29,962 - Uh, you sure about that? - And I want Conway to drink me... 130 00:06:30,132 --> 00:06:33,761 - so I need you to hook a sister up. - Well, I will certainly try. 131 00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,926 Don't try, do. And here, use this. 132 00:06:38,807 --> 00:06:39,967 Wow, what is this? 133 00:06:40,142 --> 00:06:44,203 Tell Conway that his Secret Santa wants to come early. 134 00:06:45,681 --> 00:06:48,548 Or, you know, whoever brings Jewish people their Christmas presents. 135 00:06:49,918 --> 00:06:52,045 - What are you doing? - Uh, none of your businessing. 136 00:06:52,220 --> 00:06:55,155 What kind of spy agency scrimps on a freaking shredder? 137 00:06:55,324 --> 00:06:58,316 Apparently the kind that scrimps on background checks. 138 00:06:58,493 --> 00:07:00,256 - Who is this guy? - I don't know. 139 00:07:00,429 --> 00:07:03,421 But I got a bad feeling about Mother's little "Project Conway." 140 00:07:03,598 --> 00:07:05,498 So I must be having a stroke... 141 00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:08,465 - because we actually agree on something. - Wait, really? 142 00:07:08,637 --> 00:07:10,730 Totally. I mean, he shows up out of nowhere... 143 00:07:10,906 --> 00:07:13,170 and starts trying to get all up in everything? 144 00:07:13,342 --> 00:07:15,173 I mean, Salsa, Frodo. 145 00:07:15,344 --> 00:07:17,904 - Possibly Mother. - And what do we even know about him? 146 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,072 - Only that he's not circumcised. - Okay. 147 00:07:21,249 --> 00:07:24,616 - Glossing over how you know that... - We touched penises. 148 00:07:24,786 --> 00:07:26,083 No! Glossing. 149 00:07:26,254 --> 00:07:29,280 But a non-circumcised Jewish guy, that's not weird to you? 150 00:07:29,458 --> 00:07:31,756 No, why would...? I mean, I'm not Jewish... 151 00:07:31,927 --> 00:07:34,987 - and I'm circumcised. So it can... - It doesn't work like that. 152 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,927 Lana, come on. I think we both know it works fine. 153 00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:40,796 Oh, come on. Not your dick, dumb-ass. 154 00:07:40,969 --> 00:07:43,301 Oh, my God! This is about you and me, right? 155 00:07:43,472 --> 00:07:47,033 - Oh, my God! Get over yourself! - Hey, I am over me. 156 00:07:47,209 --> 00:07:48,801 But apparently you're not. 157 00:07:50,379 --> 00:07:55,612 - What the hell smells like shrimp? - Just my sensual womanhood. 158 00:07:55,784 --> 00:07:57,376 Oh, wait. Ew. 159 00:07:57,552 --> 00:07:59,486 I bet your womanhood smells divine. 160 00:07:59,654 --> 00:08:03,146 - Conway! - Now, whom can I thank for these shrimps? 161 00:08:03,325 --> 00:08:07,386 Me, your secret Jew Santa. 162 00:08:09,898 --> 00:08:13,356 Conway! That was amazing. 163 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,765 Yes, so, uh... 164 00:08:15,937 --> 00:08:16,961 okay. 165 00:08:17,139 --> 00:08:20,165 - Oh, my God, I hope I'm pregnant. - What are you talking about? 166 00:08:20,342 --> 00:08:23,539 The system bounced your sexual harassment complaint against Conway. 167 00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:26,579 - Well, unbounce it back. - Who am I, Tron? 168 00:08:26,748 --> 00:08:28,477 Talk to your mother, she bounced it. 169 00:08:28,650 --> 00:08:29,981 - Why? - Hey. Whoa. 170 00:08:30,152 --> 00:08:32,552 - Why would she do that? - Don't go starting rumors... 171 00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,552 - about Conway boning your mother. - Oh, my... 172 00:08:37,626 --> 00:08:41,084 - You get any of that in the trash can? - No. 173 00:08:41,263 --> 00:08:43,094 I, uh, missed it on purpose. 174 00:08:43,265 --> 00:08:46,757 - Hey, Malory, uh, you got a second? - I sincerely doubt it. 175 00:08:46,935 --> 00:08:50,530 - It's about Conway. - Then yes, I have entire minutes. 176 00:08:50,705 --> 00:08:52,536 Isn't he just a dream come true? 177 00:08:52,707 --> 00:08:56,438 Well, that's the thing. How did you actually find Conway? 178 00:08:56,611 --> 00:08:58,841 Well, he just sort of appeared. 179 00:08:59,014 --> 00:09:01,812 - Uh, yes, okay. - Like a foundling, carved out of onyx. 180 00:09:01,983 --> 00:09:05,885 Yes, but from where? I mean, if you didn't do a background check... 181 00:09:06,054 --> 00:09:08,955 Are you an idiot? Or do you just think I am? 182 00:09:09,124 --> 00:09:12,252 - He totally checked out. - Okay, so do you mind if I take a little...? 183 00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:16,557 Lana Kane! Just because now you're not the only black agent... 184 00:09:16,731 --> 00:09:20,428 - Hey, that is not... - Urban. Whatever. 185 00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:24,868 You come in here and accuse Conway of what, exactly? 186 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:28,373 Okay, fine, I can't prove anything right now. 187 00:09:28,543 --> 00:09:32,343 But that never stopped J. Edna Hoover from persecuting Martin Luther King... 188 00:09:32,514 --> 00:09:34,880 - now, did it? - What does that have to do...? 189 00:09:35,050 --> 00:09:36,608 Wait, J. Edna? 190 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:40,619 You never heard that? How Hoover was this huge, cross-dressing chicken hawk? 191 00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:44,122 - I had not. - That's exactly the kind of slanderous... 192 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:48,058 and unsubstantiated rumor I will not tolerate at ISIS. 193 00:09:48,230 --> 00:09:51,290 - Think about that while on suspension. - While I'm on what? 194 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:53,491 - What are you, deaf and racist? - Wha...? 195 00:09:53,668 --> 00:09:56,899 - I'm black. - Oh, put it back in the deck. 196 00:09:57,072 --> 00:10:00,098 - Hey, how is my lovely lady. - Suspended. 197 00:10:00,275 --> 00:10:02,175 - What? - Malory suspended me. 198 00:10:02,344 --> 00:10:05,643 Just because I had the nerve to ask questions about her little... 199 00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:08,806 - homeboy McJewerson. - Whoa, Lana, honey. 200 00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:11,179 - What? - Even though it's perfectly natural... 201 00:10:11,353 --> 00:10:12,843 for you to be jealous of Conway... 202 00:10:15,190 --> 00:10:19,286 - Then she cold-cocked you, huh? - Yeah, with that big Flintstoney fist of hers. 203 00:10:19,461 --> 00:10:22,794 - Seriously, "Homeboy McJewerson"? - Oh, come on, I've heard worse than that. 204 00:10:22,964 --> 00:10:24,693 Yeah, but it doesn't even make sense. 205 00:10:24,866 --> 00:10:28,302 - I mean, maybe if you were Scottish or... - Hey, man, racism, anti-Semitism. 206 00:10:28,470 --> 00:10:31,871 You can't go looking for logic in it. Here, this'll help the swelling. 207 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,372 Oh, thank you. Ha, ha. Where'd you get the steak? 208 00:10:34,543 --> 00:10:38,411 Cristal. Yet another offering of unrefrigerated meat and/or seafood. 209 00:10:38,580 --> 00:10:42,710 - Yeah, she's kind of weird that way. - She's kind of weird a bunch of ways. 210 00:10:43,785 --> 00:10:45,343 What you doing, Birdbones? 211 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,785 - Looking for a pregnancy test online. - But there's a drugstore half a... 212 00:10:48,957 --> 00:10:52,120 Oh. You mean that you take online. 213 00:10:52,294 --> 00:10:55,491 - Yeah I want to know like, now. - Well, thank God for them internets. 214 00:10:55,664 --> 00:10:58,997 - Okay, what is this lame meeting about? - No idea, I'm busy and go away. 215 00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:01,533 - Excuse me? - Oh, my God, why are you still here? 216 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:04,968 - Mother called me for a meeting. - But I thought you called a meeting. 217 00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:09,133 Oh, and by the way, you don't call a meeting, only I call a meeting. 218 00:11:09,311 --> 00:11:12,712 - I called the meeting. - Which I love. That you did that. 219 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,610 I know it's not standard procedure... 220 00:11:14,783 --> 00:11:18,480 - but we've got a problem. - A problem or a blessing? 221 00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:21,312 A problem. 222 00:11:21,489 --> 00:11:24,856 It's a silent submarine propulsion system, called the Whisper Drive. 223 00:11:25,026 --> 00:11:27,426 - Oh, sounds sexy. - Would you stop it. 224 00:11:27,596 --> 00:11:28,927 - Folks, please. - Embarrassing. 225 00:11:29,097 --> 00:11:31,292 - You are embarrassing. - Jesus. 226 00:11:31,466 --> 00:11:35,402 This is Wilhelm Schmeck, inventor of the Whisper Drive. 227 00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:38,596 Schmeck went missing along with the plans for the Whisper Drive. 228 00:11:38,773 --> 00:11:41,742 I tracked him to South Beach. He's arranged to sell the plans... 229 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,572 to Cuban Naval Intelligence. If that happens... 230 00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:49,445 undetectable Cuban missile subs could be parked right off Miami Beach. 231 00:11:49,618 --> 00:11:52,781 Ugh. Just what Miami needs. More Cubans. 232 00:11:52,954 --> 00:11:56,685 And all we need is a stand-in, who resembles Schmeck's Cuban contact... 233 00:11:56,858 --> 00:12:00,259 Wha...? What? That looks nothing like me. 234 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,623 - Well, he's just a lot more handsome. - Whatever. 235 00:12:02,797 --> 00:12:05,061 Zip it! Conway, dear? 236 00:12:05,233 --> 00:12:07,098 - The plan? - Using Archer as bait... 237 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:11,432 we slip in just ahead of the real Cubans, capture Schmeck, and recover the plans. 238 00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:14,200 If we could run this thing through your condo, that... 239 00:12:14,376 --> 00:12:16,936 - You have a South Beach condo? - I, uh... 240 00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,875 Oh, hey, how's the, uh, lemon tree doing? 241 00:12:19,047 --> 00:12:21,709 Raúl says it already has tiny lemons. 242 00:12:21,883 --> 00:12:23,874 That was a wonderful thank-you gift. 243 00:12:24,052 --> 00:12:26,520 - Well, it was a wonderful weekend. - It was, wasn't it? 244 00:12:26,688 --> 00:12:29,122 You were there, in the condo, together? 245 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:30,917 - Yeah, last weekend. - Oh, my God. 246 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:36,558 Oh, for... See? That's what happens when you drink all day and skip lunch. 247 00:12:36,731 --> 00:12:39,325 Oh, we were supposed to have paella. 248 00:12:43,271 --> 00:12:45,330 Archer, come on, man, let's go. 249 00:12:45,507 --> 00:12:48,169 You go! Get on the plane, buckle in, sit there... 250 00:12:48,343 --> 00:12:50,903 and think about how you're not the boss of me. 251 00:12:51,079 --> 00:12:53,343 Hey, babe. Got any extra puke bags? 252 00:12:53,515 --> 00:12:55,574 Why? You taking a moral inventory? 253 00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:58,685 Jesus, God, what are you doing here? 254 00:12:58,853 --> 00:13:00,787 - I'm, trying to save... - A relationship? 255 00:13:00,955 --> 00:13:05,358 Lana, maybe when I get back, we can work out some kind of bang-buddy deal, but... 256 00:13:05,527 --> 00:13:06,892 Ow! 257 00:13:07,062 --> 00:13:11,726 - I want you to listen to me. - Well then unperforate my eardrum. 258 00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:13,265 Un... 259 00:13:13,435 --> 00:13:15,062 head up your ass! 260 00:13:15,236 --> 00:13:17,101 I think Conway is totally up to something. 261 00:13:17,272 --> 00:13:20,969 Duh! You think I'm an idiot? I know he wants to marry Mother... 262 00:13:21,142 --> 00:13:22,973 - and cut me out of the will. - Ugh. Archer. 263 00:13:23,144 --> 00:13:26,705 - Which is why I'm going to kill him. - Oh. Okay, well, whatever the reason. 264 00:13:26,881 --> 00:13:29,509 It's not because of the whole black stepfather thing. 265 00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,709 - You know me better than that. - Yeah, I do. 266 00:13:31,886 --> 00:13:35,049 So try not to do anything stupid, okay? Conway could be dangerous. 267 00:13:35,223 --> 00:13:36,713 Yeah. You know what's dangerous? 268 00:13:36,891 --> 00:13:38,358 - Your obsession with me. - Just... 269 00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:41,246 Seriously Lana, call Kenny Loggins because you're in the Danger Zone. 270 00:13:42,630 --> 00:13:45,155 - From Top Gun. - Just be careful. 271 00:13:46,968 --> 00:13:48,230 No. 272 00:13:51,383 --> 00:13:53,943 God, this is so classic Mother. 273 00:13:54,119 --> 00:13:55,882 Yeah, it's pretty tastefully done, huh? 274 00:13:56,054 --> 00:13:58,215 No, you ass. The selfishness. 275 00:13:58,390 --> 00:14:00,381 She never shares anything with anybody. 276 00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:02,390 You're keeping that office for you? 277 00:14:02,561 --> 00:14:05,689 I need it to escape the glare from those windows across the street. 278 00:14:05,864 --> 00:14:07,889 From the...? There's no glare. 279 00:14:08,066 --> 00:14:12,298 Well, not now. But mid-April? Every morning. For almost 20 minutes. 280 00:14:12,470 --> 00:14:15,439 So you're gonna keep that huge corner office empty the other... 281 00:14:15,607 --> 00:14:19,407 - Ninety-gazillion percent of the time. - Just because the glare is annoying? 282 00:14:19,578 --> 00:14:22,445 Well, semi-annoying. 283 00:14:22,614 --> 00:14:25,481 Okay, you're meeting Schmeck at that café across the street. 284 00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:29,484 - And, uh, why do you have that? Exactly? - You never know what's gonna happen. 285 00:14:29,654 --> 00:14:33,681 Yeah, two people all alone together, down here in South Beach. 286 00:14:33,859 --> 00:14:36,225 - I'd rather have it and not need it... - Uh-huh. 287 00:14:36,394 --> 00:14:38,919 - Than need it and not have it. - Ah. Uh-huh. 288 00:14:39,097 --> 00:14:41,657 Kind of like a condom. Which happened last weekend. 289 00:14:41,833 --> 00:14:44,825 - Oh, my...! Ugh! - Damn, man, I was kidding! 290 00:14:45,003 --> 00:14:47,437 - Look, if you're too nervous... - I'm fine, all right? 291 00:14:47,606 --> 00:14:50,200 Just let me rinse off my mustache. 292 00:14:50,375 --> 00:14:53,037 You are more handsome in your photos. 293 00:14:53,211 --> 00:14:55,441 Oh, yeah, talk to me about handsome. 294 00:14:55,614 --> 00:14:57,809 And you have no trace of Cuban accent. 295 00:14:57,983 --> 00:14:59,712 Yeah, it's called tradecraft, genius. 296 00:14:59,885 --> 00:15:02,547 - I blend. - Just shut up and get the plans. 297 00:15:02,721 --> 00:15:04,655 - You shut up and get the plans. - What? 298 00:15:04,823 --> 00:15:07,656 I mean, give me those plans now. Give me those plans. 299 00:15:07,826 --> 00:15:10,795 You may have them once I confirm the balance in my Swiss account. 300 00:15:11,329 --> 00:15:12,728 - Tell him not to bother. - What? 301 00:15:12,898 --> 00:15:14,627 Wait, what are we doing? 302 00:15:16,101 --> 00:15:19,400 - Conway! What the shit, man? - What? Schmeck was a traitor. 303 00:15:19,571 --> 00:15:22,506 Yeah, now he's all over my 400 dollar custom shirt. 304 00:15:22,674 --> 00:15:25,837 I'll buy you a new one. Now grab the plans before it's too late. 305 00:15:26,011 --> 00:15:30,539 - It's already too late. - Ha, ha! Yes it is, now hand over... 306 00:15:30,715 --> 00:15:33,479 Because it's already soaked into the fibers, dumb-ass. 307 00:15:33,652 --> 00:15:35,210 This is linen! 308 00:15:37,055 --> 00:15:40,047 And that is a Cuban hit squad. 309 00:15:40,225 --> 00:15:42,056 And you might want to duck. 310 00:15:46,097 --> 00:15:48,588 Oh, my God. Conway! 311 00:15:48,767 --> 00:15:51,736 - That was amazing! - Yeah, well, you know. 312 00:15:51,903 --> 00:15:54,201 No, seriously, that was like... 313 00:15:54,372 --> 00:15:57,000 - That was like, uh... - A Charles Whitman Sampler? 314 00:15:57,175 --> 00:15:59,837 Damn it, yes. Seriously, thanks. 315 00:16:00,011 --> 00:16:02,206 Oh, don't thank me yet. 316 00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:04,439 What, Conway? No! 317 00:16:05,984 --> 00:16:08,612 - Now you can thank me. - Oh, my God. 318 00:16:08,787 --> 00:16:10,254 You saved my life twice. 319 00:16:10,422 --> 00:16:11,753 You'd have done the same for me. 320 00:16:11,923 --> 00:16:13,163 - No, I wouldn't have. - Ha, ha. 321 00:16:13,258 --> 00:16:15,453 I was actually kind of planning to kill you. 322 00:16:15,627 --> 00:16:18,596 - Wait, what? - I know, now I'm totally embarrassed. 323 00:16:18,763 --> 00:16:21,163 Hey, you know what? Water under the bridge, dude. 324 00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:24,427 - Come over here, let's man-hug it. - All right. Okay. Um... 325 00:16:25,270 --> 00:16:28,398 I mean, after all we are going to be family. Once I marry your Mom. 326 00:16:28,573 --> 00:16:32,236 - What? - I'm kidding. God, relax, man. 327 00:16:32,410 --> 00:16:35,846 Because for a second there, I was like... I mean, not in a racist way, but... 328 00:16:37,415 --> 00:16:38,746 - Conway? - Yeah, buddy. 329 00:16:38,917 --> 00:16:42,444 - Uh, are there more bad guys behind me? - Nope. 330 00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:44,417 You dick. 331 00:16:46,691 --> 00:16:49,285 You dumb-ass. I set this whole thing up. 332 00:16:49,461 --> 00:16:51,861 I just needed a stand-in for those broke-ass Cubans. 333 00:16:52,030 --> 00:16:54,396 - Yeah, I get it. - I mean, come on! 334 00:16:54,566 --> 00:16:57,330 The Chinese'll pay five times as much for the Whisper Drive. 335 00:16:57,502 --> 00:17:01,666 And once they do? Let's just say you better learn to use some chopsticks, buddy. 336 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,638 Conway, wait. Just answer me one question. 337 00:17:04,809 --> 00:17:06,743 Yeah, make it quick. My ride is here. 338 00:17:08,947 --> 00:17:12,747 - And your lungs are filling up with blood. - Did you have sex with my mother? 339 00:17:12,917 --> 00:17:15,408 Wait, what? That is your only question? 340 00:17:15,587 --> 00:17:18,613 Not who am I, not how did I infiltrate ISIS... 341 00:17:18,790 --> 00:17:22,419 - or who the hell is flying the helicopter? - Just answer the question! 342 00:17:22,594 --> 00:17:25,927 No, Archer, I didn't have sex with your mom. 343 00:17:26,097 --> 00:17:28,258 - Oh, thank God. - Oh, and that? 344 00:17:28,433 --> 00:17:31,095 That would have been a though image to get out of my head. 345 00:17:31,269 --> 00:17:33,134 That, right there? That kind of racism... 346 00:17:33,304 --> 00:17:37,297 is exactly why I can't wait to see tiny little Chinese boots... 347 00:17:37,475 --> 00:17:40,171 on your white-ass necks. 348 00:17:40,345 --> 00:17:44,111 Which may sound hypocritical, I know, but... 349 00:17:44,282 --> 00:17:46,045 Would you go? 350 00:17:46,217 --> 00:17:49,584 - Aah! What the...? - Sorry, Conway. 351 00:17:49,754 --> 00:17:52,245 - Oh, wait, shit, I had something for this. - Aah. 352 00:17:52,424 --> 00:17:55,655 Is it something like, uh, "You don't get off the hook that easy"? 353 00:17:55,827 --> 00:17:57,852 - Damn it. - Yeah, he's good at those. 354 00:17:58,029 --> 00:18:00,554 - Well, crawl on over there and blow him. - Hey, come on. 355 00:18:00,732 --> 00:18:05,226 - Now, drop the case, Conway! - It's cuffed on, woman. 356 00:18:05,403 --> 00:18:08,634 Aah! And how the hell are your hands that freaking strong...? 357 00:18:10,742 --> 00:18:12,004 Ew. 358 00:18:12,177 --> 00:18:15,374 You haven't seen the last of Conway Stern! 359 00:18:15,547 --> 00:18:18,539 Which is not my real name! 360 00:18:20,151 --> 00:18:21,846 - Uh, so let me guess. - Yeah. 361 00:18:22,020 --> 00:18:25,319 Whoever he is, he ghosted an ID file onto our worldwide database. 362 00:18:25,490 --> 00:18:28,323 Yeah. Which you probably found while researching me. 363 00:18:29,928 --> 00:18:31,623 Lana, because you're in the, uh... 364 00:18:31,796 --> 00:18:34,094 Danger Zone. 365 00:18:34,265 --> 00:18:36,495 And those were his last words. 366 00:18:36,668 --> 00:18:39,034 Right before he bled to death on the rug. 367 00:18:39,204 --> 00:18:43,766 Which rug? Oh, good. I thought you meant in the bedroom. 368 00:18:43,942 --> 00:18:47,639 No, that one is just jute. Exactly. 369 00:18:47,812 --> 00:18:51,475 Guests come in from the beach, they're all sandy or whatever, and... 370 00:18:51,649 --> 00:18:55,745 Suspension? Lana, dear, you are getting a bonus. My God! 371 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:59,754 You foiled that perfidious Conway, saved Sterling's... 372 00:18:59,924 --> 00:19:02,119 All right, just pull the knife out. 373 00:19:03,962 --> 00:19:06,396 And then slap Saran Wrap on the hole. 374 00:19:06,564 --> 00:19:08,759 Oh! But leave me enough to make guacamole. 375 00:19:08,933 --> 00:19:14,098 No, you squeeze lemon juice over it, then smush the Saran Wrap right down on top. 376 00:19:14,272 --> 00:19:18,174 That way it doesn't go brown. Oh, let the paramedics do that. 377 00:19:18,343 --> 00:19:21,870 You just have fun, dear. Mm-hm. Bye. 378 00:19:22,046 --> 00:19:26,710 Oh, damn. Now I bet she's going to squeeze up all my brand new lemons. 379 00:19:26,885 --> 00:19:29,649 And I'll have nothing left to remind me of Conway. 380 00:19:29,821 --> 00:19:33,313 - Except his little mocha love child. - His what? 381 00:19:33,491 --> 00:19:35,322 - Yeah. - You had sex with Conway? 382 00:19:35,493 --> 00:19:37,586 Yeah, and he totally impregnated me. 383 00:19:37,762 --> 00:19:41,061 Wait, he was only here two days. 384 00:19:41,232 --> 00:19:43,928 How is that pregnancy test showing positive? 385 00:19:44,102 --> 00:19:48,004 Oh, this is just a detergent pen. I just put a little blue sticker on it. 385 00:19:49,305 --> 00:20:49,207 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP