1 00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:12,894 Because this is what was there, Lana! 2 00:00:13,063 --> 00:00:15,293 There, where? Outside a clown college? 3 00:00:15,465 --> 00:00:18,866 - They have those here? - I don't know! Archer, look out! 4 00:00:20,236 --> 00:00:23,034 - We'll never catch him! - You should have thought about that... 5 00:00:23,206 --> 00:00:24,833 before you blew the damn drop! 6 00:00:25,008 --> 00:00:27,374 - I blew jack shit! - Name dropper. 7 00:00:27,544 --> 00:00:30,479 And if you weren't so busy trying to bang that waitress... 8 00:00:30,647 --> 00:00:32,979 you'd have noticed that ODIN had agents in play! 9 00:00:33,149 --> 00:00:35,879 She was the hostess! If you weren't blinded by jealousy... 10 00:00:36,052 --> 00:00:38,213 - Yes, I'm jealous. - First step's admitting it. 11 00:00:38,388 --> 00:00:40,549 Jealous that ODIN's gonna beat us again... 12 00:00:40,724 --> 00:00:43,318 - thanks to your epic poon-houndery! - First of all... 13 00:00:47,397 --> 00:00:49,957 - Oh! Oh, my God. - Great, good job. 14 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,863 Shut up! ODIN doesn't beat Sterling Archer. 15 00:00:53,036 --> 00:00:55,334 Only Sterling Archer beats... 16 00:00:58,842 --> 00:01:01,743 - Did you wanna finish that? - Did you wanna finish... 17 00:01:01,911 --> 00:01:04,106 shutting your big fat, negative-wordsy mouth? 18 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:07,215 Whose fat mouth told the stupid waitress he was an ISIS agent? 19 00:01:07,383 --> 00:01:08,748 Hostess. And I had a plan. 20 00:01:08,918 --> 00:01:13,184 - What, to get laid in the walk-in? - Also. Because I'm not an ant, Lana. 21 00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:17,187 - I happen to see the big picture. - Oh, really? Well, then where's... 22 00:01:19,596 --> 00:01:21,860 - Kasparov? Okay, that was a fluke. - Ha, ha. 23 00:01:22,031 --> 00:01:24,499 Yeah, a fluke of nature. Because I happen to have... 24 00:01:24,667 --> 00:01:27,033 - perfect situational awareness, Lana. - Archer. 25 00:01:27,203 --> 00:01:29,262 - Which cannot be taught, by the way. - Archer. 26 00:01:29,439 --> 00:01:31,737 - Like a poet's mind for... - Archer. 27 00:01:31,908 --> 00:01:33,739 - Archer! - To make the perfect word. 28 00:01:33,910 --> 00:01:35,741 - Archer! - Goddamn it, I'm relishing the... 29 00:01:40,416 --> 00:01:44,147 - Ow. Way to go, Lana. Nice warning. - Nice relishing. Ow. 30 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:47,881 - Oh. Think that was ODIN? - No, it's only you that beats you, buddy. 31 00:01:49,225 --> 00:01:50,745 - Hey, gang. - Barry. 32 00:01:50,894 --> 00:01:52,953 Gee, thanks for helping us catch Kasparov. 33 00:01:53,129 --> 00:01:55,359 - ODIN appreciates the assist. - Yeah. 34 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,966 And if you ever get tired of playing JV ball... 35 00:01:58,134 --> 00:02:00,432 - you know where to find us. - Oh, yeah, uh, where's that? 36 00:02:00,603 --> 00:02:03,401 Um, dick town? Ha, ha. 37 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,540 Jesus, even their cards are nice. 38 00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:08,302 Lana, look at this. It's embossed. 39 00:02:08,745 --> 00:02:12,112 Oh, okay. Then, I guess, just pout. 40 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:20,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 41 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,513 - That was the mayor of Paris... - Name dropper. 42 00:02:52,689 --> 00:02:55,681 Who was just as eager as I am to know why ISIS agents... 43 00:02:55,859 --> 00:02:58,555 - were terrorizing Paris! - So I crashed a few cop cars... 44 00:02:58,728 --> 00:03:00,628 ran over a few mimes! 45 00:03:00,797 --> 00:03:03,891 So I don't play by the rules, Mother, but I get results! 46 00:03:04,067 --> 00:03:06,194 Well, as long as you got Kasparov. 47 00:03:06,369 --> 00:03:08,803 Oh, uh, yeah, about that... 48 00:03:10,173 --> 00:03:11,902 That's why she can't have nice things. 49 00:03:12,075 --> 00:03:14,270 - Either that or I steal them. What? - Hm? What's that? 50 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,969 Hm? What do you want? I'm a little busy for chitchat. 51 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,544 - Busy trying to turn that thing on? - Look at this! 52 00:03:19,716 --> 00:03:22,776 - O-N. Nothing. - Well, just keep at it. 53 00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:25,352 - You're not my supervisor! - I'm sorry, what? 54 00:03:25,521 --> 00:03:27,751 He sort of offered me a job at ODIN. 55 00:03:27,924 --> 00:03:28,948 - Barry Dillon? - Uh... 56 00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:31,457 Barry "We have this whole huge history together" Dillon? 57 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,687 We don't have this whole huge history. 58 00:03:33,863 --> 00:03:37,128 - Oh. Oh, my God. Barry. - Oh, yeah, right. Pretty sweet, huh? 59 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:40,292 Using a mirror to reflect the laser beam back into the laser? 60 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,802 - Oh, my God! - Yeah, sorry, it took so long. 61 00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:46,203 - And that I'm accidentally inside you. - Not a problem. 62 00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:49,737 - But... - I just wanna keep my options open! 63 00:03:49,879 --> 00:03:52,177 So you can't breathe a word of this to Malory. 64 00:03:52,348 --> 00:03:54,077 You know how she gets. 65 00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:56,514 - ODIN? - Well, since I'm not appreciated here... 66 00:03:56,686 --> 00:03:58,153 What's to appreciate? 67 00:03:58,321 --> 00:04:01,051 Exactly! That's indicative of your whole attitude, Mother! 68 00:04:01,224 --> 00:04:03,784 Sterling Malory Archer, you are... 69 00:04:05,228 --> 00:04:08,664 - of course free to pursue your options. - My... Wait, hang on. 70 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:12,164 And if ODIN made you a better offer, what kind of mother would I be... 71 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:14,064 if I stood in the way of your happiness? 72 00:04:14,237 --> 00:04:16,899 Uh... Wait, what just happened here? 73 00:04:17,073 --> 00:04:19,598 Fine! She thinks I won't go? Well, guess what! 74 00:04:19,776 --> 00:04:22,370 - I don't need her! - I, however, do need your keycard. 75 00:04:22,545 --> 00:04:25,514 Yeah, hi, Barry Dillon please? Yes, I'll hold! 76 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:28,344 Oh, and just wait till I get to ODIN. 77 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:30,008 I will. Keycard? 78 00:04:30,253 --> 00:04:33,950 - Oh. Here! God! - They are the stuff-throwingest family. 79 00:04:34,123 --> 00:04:36,751 Okay, so after I call your vase guy... 80 00:04:36,926 --> 00:04:40,259 Freeze every one of his accounts! And then get me Woodhouse. 81 00:04:40,430 --> 00:04:42,955 And we'll just see how tough Sterling is... 82 00:04:43,132 --> 00:04:46,397 - when he can't suckle at my teat! - Ugh. 83 00:04:46,569 --> 00:04:48,560 Woodhouse, she froze my accounts... 84 00:04:48,738 --> 00:04:52,333 and I need to get in my safe, so open the goddamn door already! 85 00:04:52,508 --> 00:04:53,907 I'm afraid I can't... 86 00:04:54,077 --> 00:04:56,568 since ISIS actually pays the rent on the... 87 00:04:57,947 --> 00:05:01,280 Aah! Damn it! When did we get a bulletproof door? 88 00:05:01,451 --> 00:05:03,316 After the Popeye incident, sir. 89 00:05:03,486 --> 00:05:05,920 Oh, right. Wait, so you kick me out of my own house? 90 00:05:06,089 --> 00:05:08,887 Yes, sir. Although it pains me dearly. 91 00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:10,787 I'm gonna pain you dearly, Woodhouse! 92 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:15,056 When I peel all your skin off with a flensing knife, sew it into Woodhouse pajamas... 93 00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:18,029 and then set those pajamas on fire! 94 00:05:19,702 --> 00:05:22,637 - Hello? - It's just you and me now, Reggie. 95 00:05:22,805 --> 00:05:25,467 So be a lad, put on some Mingus. 96 00:05:26,142 --> 00:05:27,575 Hi, Barry Dillon, please? 97 00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:31,407 Yes, it's Sterling Archer... Oh. Yes, I'll hold! 98 00:05:32,448 --> 00:05:34,177 Oh, come on! 99 00:05:34,350 --> 00:05:36,511 We've got MI6 in the semis on Sunday... 100 00:05:36,686 --> 00:05:39,519 - and I am slicing it like a butcher. - Just keep at it. 101 00:05:39,689 --> 00:05:41,520 - I think it's this new grip. - So listen. 102 00:05:41,691 --> 00:05:45,354 Remember how you wanted me to float that job offer to Lana Kane? 103 00:05:45,528 --> 00:05:48,361 - Love her, yeah. When does she start? - Right? 104 00:05:48,531 --> 00:05:51,159 That's the thing. See, I think Sterling Archer thought... 105 00:05:51,334 --> 00:05:53,666 - I was talking to him. - Archer? You're kidding! 106 00:05:53,836 --> 00:05:56,361 I wish. I mean, obviously the guy's great in the field. 107 00:05:56,539 --> 00:05:59,133 - Ha-ha-ha. Well, you would know. - Now, see. Why do you do that? 108 00:05:59,308 --> 00:06:01,640 Why do you softball them in like that? 109 00:06:03,146 --> 00:06:05,580 - I'm sorry, how's the leg? - Hurts when it rains. 110 00:06:05,748 --> 00:06:09,206 And when I think about Archer, and so I blew him off. 111 00:06:09,385 --> 00:06:12,320 No, no, no, Barry, you blow him on! 112 00:06:12,488 --> 00:06:15,548 - "On" as in hire him? As in here? - Yes! 113 00:06:15,725 --> 00:06:17,886 It'll drive his mother crazy. 114 00:06:21,731 --> 00:06:23,494 Gotta be the grip. 115 00:06:26,069 --> 00:06:28,503 And you froze all of Sterling's accounts? 116 00:06:28,671 --> 00:06:32,038 - Domestic and foreign? - Even the one on the Isle of Man. 117 00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:34,168 Oh, my God, is that, like, Whore Island for women? 118 00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,710 - No. - Then you just watch, in no time... 119 00:06:36,879 --> 00:06:39,871 he'll be begging me to take him back. 120 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:43,843 - He hasn't called, has he? - No. How you holding up, Mama Bird? 121 00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:48,081 Well, except for your grossly over-familiar tone, I couldn't be happier. 122 00:06:48,257 --> 00:06:54,025 - Even if Mr. Archer gets a job at ODIN? - Oh, please. ODIN won't hire him. 123 00:06:54,197 --> 00:06:56,665 After the stunt he pulled in Berlin? 124 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:59,199 - Well, whose fault is that, Barry? - Yours. 125 00:06:59,368 --> 00:07:01,598 You bust in, shoot two good double agents... 126 00:07:01,771 --> 00:07:04,399 And you think an appropriate response is to ruin my suit? 127 00:07:04,574 --> 00:07:06,838 - Oh, and my shirt. - I'm sorry. 128 00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:10,103 So will you please just help me up? 129 00:07:11,047 --> 00:07:14,608 - No. - For which I am pretty genuinely sorry. 130 00:07:14,784 --> 00:07:16,081 Nothing two steel rods... 131 00:07:16,252 --> 00:07:20,086 - and 16 titanium screws couldn't fix. - Come on, don't be shitty. 132 00:07:20,256 --> 00:07:22,417 - Yeah, Barry. - It's water under the bridge. 133 00:07:22,592 --> 00:07:25,618 - Yeah, Barry. - Because he's part of the family now. 134 00:07:25,795 --> 00:07:28,195 - So go put his stuff in his office. - Yeah, Barry. 135 00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:30,491 Barry, hi. 136 00:07:30,666 --> 00:07:34,602 So I was wondering if your tempting offer was still open. 137 00:07:36,572 --> 00:07:40,599 No, you silly man. About the job. 138 00:07:40,776 --> 00:07:43,745 No, just keeping my options open. 139 00:07:43,913 --> 00:07:47,542 Definitely come in. I mean, we did kind of fill the position... 140 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:51,483 but I don't know if it's gonna be a good fit. 141 00:07:51,654 --> 00:07:53,815 I just don't see why you need this. 142 00:07:53,990 --> 00:07:56,424 Because this is a huge opportunity for me... 143 00:07:56,592 --> 00:07:58,753 and I need to feel confident. 144 00:07:58,928 --> 00:08:00,725 In the interview? 145 00:08:01,531 --> 00:08:03,556 - Uh-huh. - Oh, that looks great. 146 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:04,927 Yeah, it feels pretty good. 147 00:08:05,101 --> 00:08:07,934 - So come on already, take a cut. - What, like, out the window? 148 00:08:08,104 --> 00:08:11,164 Don't worry about it. I get a deal on those, 90 cents a ball. 149 00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:13,331 Um, okay. 150 00:08:13,509 --> 00:08:16,342 God, you're a natural. 151 00:08:16,512 --> 00:08:20,346 - Bet it's all that lacrosse at boarding school. - Yeah, 13 years' worth. 152 00:08:20,516 --> 00:08:24,953 Thirteen years? What, she ship you off in kindergarten? 153 00:08:25,121 --> 00:08:29,080 - Ahem. Gosh, that must've been tough. - No, l... I loved it. Um... 154 00:08:29,659 --> 00:08:31,183 Made a lot of good friends. 155 00:08:33,629 --> 00:08:35,654 Family, almost, is what they were. 156 00:08:35,831 --> 00:08:38,857 Speaking of, how's your mother taking all this? 157 00:08:39,035 --> 00:08:41,526 Oh, please, I bet she doesn't even miss me. 158 00:08:41,704 --> 00:08:44,673 Because he'll be back, crying for his mommy. 159 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,172 Just like that Christmas break when I moved... 160 00:08:47,343 --> 00:08:50,710 and forgot to give my new address to his stupid boarding school. 161 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:53,405 I mean, he rode the train into the city all by himself. 162 00:08:53,583 --> 00:08:57,280 He couldn't pick up a phone book? Nine years old, and bawling... 163 00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,921 in that police station like a little girl. 164 00:09:00,089 --> 00:09:03,183 - Ha! What's that tell you? - Kind of a lot, actually. 165 00:09:03,359 --> 00:09:05,725 Oh, shut up. I bet you're barren. 166 00:09:05,895 --> 00:09:08,921 - My God. On Christmas? - Well, Christmas Eve, technically. 167 00:09:09,265 --> 00:09:11,733 Well, the lovely Framboise from HR... 168 00:09:11,901 --> 00:09:14,141 has some paperwork for you to sign. 169 00:09:16,105 --> 00:09:17,849 So why don't you follow her on down... 170 00:09:17,873 --> 00:09:19,738 - to your big new corner office. - Okay. 171 00:09:19,909 --> 00:09:22,878 Where the sofa is soaked in Scotchgard. 172 00:09:23,045 --> 00:09:24,740 - It, uh... - If you know what I mean. 173 00:09:24,914 --> 00:09:27,815 - Yeah, I think I do. - It's resistant to stains. 174 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,713 - Right, right, I got it. - Super. 175 00:09:29,885 --> 00:09:32,683 Because we're one big family. 176 00:09:32,855 --> 00:09:33,879 Ugh. 177 00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:36,215 - Why do you make that sound? - Gee, let's see. 178 00:09:36,392 --> 00:09:38,053 You're off to interview with ODIN... 179 00:09:38,227 --> 00:09:41,355 home of Barry "Oh, I forgot to mention the naked laser thing" Dillon. 180 00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:45,728 ODIN isn't some co-ed freshman dorm where everyone runs around screwing. 181 00:09:45,901 --> 00:09:47,835 I'm sorry, Framboise, it's not you. 182 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:51,565 I mean, it's not me, either, obviously. But in the office... 183 00:09:51,741 --> 00:09:54,710 - You don't sex on the women at ISIS? - Constantly, but... 184 00:09:54,877 --> 00:09:57,505 you know, it's not allowed. It's probably illegal. 185 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,376 - But here... - Here we are one big famille. 186 00:10:00,549 --> 00:10:06,044 Yeah, and the, uh, famille thing actually makes this borderline creepy. 187 00:10:06,222 --> 00:10:09,714 - Perhaps if you tried it from behind? - Yeah, let's try that. 188 00:10:11,093 --> 00:10:12,560 Don't get any on that snappy suit. 189 00:10:13,929 --> 00:10:16,454 Don't you have better things to do than mince around and gawk? 190 00:10:16,632 --> 00:10:19,294 About a million. But Cheryl was scared to come in here... 191 00:10:19,468 --> 00:10:22,403 so I took time out of my busy mincing schedule... 192 00:10:22,571 --> 00:10:24,505 to tell you that you have a phone call. 193 00:10:25,841 --> 00:10:28,105 - Is it Sterling? - I am sure I don't know. 194 00:10:28,277 --> 00:10:31,804 - Do you know you're a little bitch? - Will you remember this conversation? 195 00:10:31,981 --> 00:10:34,449 - Probably not, no. - Well, then **** off. 196 00:10:34,617 --> 00:10:37,745 Whoa, whoa with the language. You kiss your mother with that mouth? 197 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,319 You leave Bub out of this. 198 00:10:39,488 --> 00:10:41,979 And how dare you steal my son away from me? 199 00:10:42,158 --> 00:10:44,888 - Steal him? You cut him loose. - You cut him loose! 200 00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,996 - What? - I want you to fire him, this instant. 201 00:10:48,164 --> 00:10:51,622 No, no, I can't do that. He's happy here, he's making new friends. 202 00:10:51,801 --> 00:10:54,326 - Goddamn it, Archer! - What, Barry? 203 00:10:54,503 --> 00:10:57,336 I said don't come in here. Framboise, what'd I say? 204 00:10:57,506 --> 00:11:00,407 - He said do not come in. - Yeah, Barry. 205 00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:02,635 - I don't care if he's happy. - That's obvious. 206 00:11:02,812 --> 00:11:05,838 - Meaning what, exactly? - Meaning, who leaves a 9-year-old kid... 207 00:11:06,015 --> 00:11:08,575 - in a police station on Christmas? - Eve. 208 00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:12,118 - And he told you about that? - Oh, we've had such great talks. 209 00:11:12,288 --> 00:11:15,018 - Fire him! - Join him. Come work for me. 210 00:11:15,191 --> 00:11:17,853 - Have you lost your mind? - Every time I see you. 211 00:11:18,027 --> 00:11:19,460 - Fire him. - Can't do it. 212 00:11:19,628 --> 00:11:21,994 Can't or won't? 213 00:11:22,198 --> 00:11:25,497 - Either? - Fine. Then go check your Telex. 214 00:11:27,470 --> 00:11:29,768 - Oh, my God. A burn notice? - Look at that. 215 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:33,568 "ISIS disavows Agent Sterling Archer, a.k.a. Duchess." 216 00:11:33,743 --> 00:11:36,507 - Man, she loved that dog... - "Who is to be considered..." 217 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:39,648 an unreliable asset and security risk." 218 00:11:39,815 --> 00:11:41,942 Oh, it must have killed her to do this. 219 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,552 - Ha, ha. And I'm smirking. - No, you don't smirk... 220 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,950 at a mother's suffering, Barry, you asshole! 221 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:51,355 Ow! It's just, with the shattered femur, and the gunshot wound... 222 00:11:51,527 --> 00:11:54,519 and I don't know if you knew this, but Framboise and I were... 223 00:11:54,697 --> 00:11:57,393 - kind of engaged. - I did not know that. 224 00:11:57,566 --> 00:12:00,194 - Yeah. - And I served her up like a pudding. 225 00:12:00,369 --> 00:12:02,997 - Barry. - Well, engaged to be engaged. Ow! 226 00:12:03,172 --> 00:12:06,869 Ass. If you love it, put a ring on it. Okay, so you go fix this. 227 00:12:07,042 --> 00:12:08,976 You know, I'm not even sure I want to now. 228 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,409 - She was obviously into him. Mother... - Ass. 229 00:12:11,580 --> 00:12:14,105 - Not Framboise. Archer. - The burn notice? 230 00:12:14,383 --> 00:12:16,078 His mother just sent that to... 231 00:12:16,252 --> 00:12:19,016 - To every agency on the planet. - CIA, MI6, Interpol. 232 00:12:19,188 --> 00:12:22,521 - We can't keep him now, Barry. - Oh. So... 233 00:12:22,691 --> 00:12:25,524 So you take him to the basement, you put one in his ear. 234 00:12:25,694 --> 00:12:29,425 - Can you do that? - Oh, my God. 235 00:12:29,598 --> 00:12:32,863 - That Framboise is a freak, huh? - Yeah. 236 00:12:33,035 --> 00:12:35,435 Yeah, I can do that. 237 00:12:38,808 --> 00:12:40,088 No, as a matter of fact... 238 00:12:40,242 --> 00:12:43,609 - I don't have Barry on speed dial. - Well, that's rather surprising. 239 00:12:43,779 --> 00:12:46,213 Know what's surprising? Kissing you at the airport... 240 00:12:46,382 --> 00:12:50,512 dozing off in first class, then seeing you on my flight when I get up to pee! 241 00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:54,554 - That, to me, is rather surprising. - And really expensive, turns out. 242 00:12:54,723 --> 00:12:55,723 - Just... - Ha, ha. 243 00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,960 Seriously. I mean, I don't wanna sound like a jerk... 244 00:13:00,129 --> 00:13:04,190 but that Framboise chick must have been a prostitute before she got this gig. 245 00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:05,833 - In, like, Bangkok. - Ahem. 246 00:13:06,001 --> 00:13:07,559 I was almost embarrassed for her. 247 00:13:07,736 --> 00:13:09,567 - Where we going? - We are heading down... 248 00:13:09,738 --> 00:13:11,899 - to sub-basement three. - Is there a shower? 249 00:13:12,074 --> 00:13:13,674 Because I bet I just, like, reek of her. 250 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:17,342 - One second. Dillon. - Oh, Barry, you getting that? 251 00:13:17,513 --> 00:13:20,573 - Really? - I'm brushing it your way, Barry. 252 00:13:20,749 --> 00:13:23,411 No, I'm actually at the lobby right now. Two seconds. 253 00:13:23,586 --> 00:13:26,885 - So wait, where are we on that shower? - Head on back up to your office. 254 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,388 There's actually a private bathroom in there. 255 00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:32,755 Oh, good. Because, like I said, I bet I just reek. 256 00:13:32,928 --> 00:13:34,896 Yeah, you've mentioned that. 257 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,191 No. Baby, I am putting you in the corner... 258 00:13:37,366 --> 00:13:39,425 - where you will sit quietly. - Hey, you. 259 00:13:39,602 --> 00:13:42,036 - Hey, you. - And who are you? 260 00:13:42,204 --> 00:13:44,331 Cyril Figgis, ISIS comptroller and... 261 00:13:44,507 --> 00:13:47,237 And very eager to sit here quietly in the corner... 262 00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:48,842 because he is so tired. 263 00:13:49,011 --> 00:13:52,310 Um, so I'll just be here, then? 264 00:13:52,481 --> 00:13:53,743 - Yeah? - Yeah. 265 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,282 No, no, no! 266 00:13:56,452 --> 00:13:58,852 Who put out a burn notice on Sterling? 267 00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:00,682 - That would be you. - What? 268 00:14:00,856 --> 00:14:06,351 - Ha-ha-ha. Holy shit, the look on your face. - But I would never. Not in a million... 269 00:14:06,529 --> 00:14:10,021 - Get a mirror. - Oh, dear God, did I drink absinthe? 270 00:14:10,199 --> 00:14:13,726 - That bottle and most of this one. - Until we wrestled it away from you. 271 00:14:13,903 --> 00:14:16,531 Because you don't know how to share, beyotch. 272 00:14:16,705 --> 00:14:19,299 - Easy, tough guy. - I don't remember any of that. 273 00:14:19,475 --> 00:14:21,375 Absinthe makes me black out. 274 00:14:23,045 --> 00:14:27,072 All right, you yellow sons of bitches. 275 00:14:27,249 --> 00:14:28,773 Let's dance. 276 00:14:30,252 --> 00:14:33,483 - It also makes you incredibly mean. - And ugly. 277 00:14:33,656 --> 00:14:35,817 - Seriously. Danger zone. - Beyotch. 278 00:14:35,991 --> 00:14:38,585 - Well, don't just sit there. Undo this. - Ooh. 279 00:14:38,761 --> 00:14:43,061 - "Ooh" what? - We can't, Ms. Archer. It's too late. 280 00:14:43,666 --> 00:14:46,134 - I'm sorry, so, what are you saying? - I, uh... 281 00:14:46,669 --> 00:14:50,537 - Can you not give me a minute? - No. You fire me, I take my things. 282 00:14:50,706 --> 00:14:53,106 Take all the things! Here, take this! 283 00:14:53,275 --> 00:14:55,209 Go staple my heart back together! 284 00:14:57,713 --> 00:14:59,772 How am I the bad guy in this? 285 00:14:59,949 --> 00:15:03,043 - So, Barry. - Huh? That was Framboise, our head of HR. 286 00:15:03,218 --> 00:15:05,778 - With whom I guess I won't be meeting? - No, she's gone. 287 00:15:05,955 --> 00:15:09,152 And so, remember how I said we'd just hired someone? 288 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:13,056 - Yes. - And so remember Sterling Archer? 289 00:15:13,228 --> 00:15:14,923 Wait, wait, wait, Lana. 290 00:15:15,097 --> 00:15:18,260 Barry, if you touch me, I swear to God I will put you in the ground. 291 00:15:18,434 --> 00:15:20,994 That was before his mother put out a burn notice on him. 292 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,035 What? Malory burned Archer? 293 00:15:23,205 --> 00:15:24,934 - Worldwide. - Holy shit. 294 00:15:25,107 --> 00:15:28,873 - Yeah, so he's gone. - Already? Like, literally gone? 295 00:15:30,946 --> 00:15:33,210 Oh, my God. I liked her better mean. 296 00:15:33,382 --> 00:15:36,647 He's gone. I killed my baby boy... 297 00:15:36,819 --> 00:15:39,515 and now my baby is gone! 298 00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:43,647 - Oh, now, you can always... - Always what? 299 00:15:43,826 --> 00:15:47,193 Well, I was gonna say you can have another baby... 300 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,923 but you're all dried up in there. 301 00:15:50,566 --> 00:15:53,535 No, no, no, like, figuratively gone. Unlike Framboise... 302 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:57,138 whose car should be blowing up any minute. 303 00:15:57,773 --> 00:16:00,071 - Oh! Ooh-la-la! - Uh... 304 00:16:02,111 --> 00:16:05,638 May I help you avec your box? 305 00:16:05,814 --> 00:16:08,942 - So Archer's still here? - Yeah, he's in that corner office. 306 00:16:09,118 --> 00:16:11,712 And once Facilities cleans his brains out of it... 307 00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:13,479 - it can be your office. - Really? 308 00:16:13,656 --> 00:16:15,920 I don't think the cleaning staff does brains. 309 00:16:16,091 --> 00:16:18,218 I mean, you shoot him and I get an office... 310 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:21,659 - overlooking the Champs-Elysées? - And the bank where you'll drive... 311 00:16:21,830 --> 00:16:24,526 your new company car to deposit your insane paychecks... 312 00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:27,999 and maybe, if you stand on those tiptoes, your huge apartment. 313 00:16:28,170 --> 00:16:31,503 - Huge as in? - As in you won't see your live-in servants... 314 00:16:31,674 --> 00:16:34,666 unless you really want to. Let me go shoot this prick. 315 00:16:34,843 --> 00:16:36,868 - Wait. Let me do it. - Really? 316 00:16:37,046 --> 00:16:40,174 - Because I would kind of love to. - Not as much as I would. 317 00:16:40,349 --> 00:16:43,443 - You guys kind of have a history, huh? - Yeah, you could say that. 318 00:16:43,619 --> 00:16:46,520 - Knock yourself out. - These servants, if I did see them... 319 00:16:46,689 --> 00:16:51,126 - would they curtsy meekly? - Heh. Well, otherwise, what's the point? 320 00:16:53,729 --> 00:16:54,753 Archer! 321 00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:56,610 Come on. Lana, why the hell are...? 322 00:16:57,900 --> 00:16:58,980 Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lana, no! 323 00:17:00,836 --> 00:17:03,270 Barry, does this make up for Framboise? 324 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:06,272 It does, Other Barry, it sure does. 325 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:09,605 Barry? I guess, go ahead and call Facilities or whatever. 326 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,778 Because there is lamp everywhere. 327 00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:17,009 - God, Lana! Get on with your life already! - Oh! 328 00:17:17,186 --> 00:17:20,451 - Telex. You got one in here? - Why, so you can smash that too? 329 00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:22,453 - No. - I'm pretty sure I'm financially... 330 00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:26,025 - responsible for the furnishings. - So I can send a telex from ODIN... 331 00:17:26,195 --> 00:17:29,687 to make the burn notice from your mother look like an ODIN black flag. 332 00:17:29,865 --> 00:17:31,628 - Mother burned me? - Apparently. 333 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,529 Oh, my God, that's classic her. 334 00:17:33,702 --> 00:17:36,000 You're both classic her. Shut up, get dressed... 335 00:17:36,171 --> 00:17:37,866 and grab the keys to that car. 336 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:41,976 We've got about two minutes before some ODIN dick sees this and seals the exits. 337 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:44,135 Any way we can bump that to five? 338 00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:45,712 - I need a shower. - Archer! 339 00:17:45,881 --> 00:17:49,180 Okay, God. Climb down off that rag. 340 00:17:49,351 --> 00:17:52,252 Oh, my God, looks like Jonestown in here. 341 00:17:52,421 --> 00:17:56,824 Yes, Pam. Get me some poison. Because I am already dead inside. 342 00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:58,983 Too dead inside to read good news? 343 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,721 - Is it my obituary? - Well, it's not that good. 344 00:18:01,897 --> 00:18:03,694 Give me that, you oaf! 345 00:18:03,866 --> 00:18:05,333 "All agencies..." 346 00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:08,629 disregard ISIS burn notice on Agent Archer... 347 00:18:08,804 --> 00:18:10,499 "a.k.a. Duchess." 348 00:18:11,874 --> 00:18:14,399 An ODIN black flag operation! 349 00:18:14,576 --> 00:18:17,841 Pam, he's alive. My Sterling is alive. 350 00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:20,345 Oh. And look at happy little Mama Bird. 351 00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:23,508 Well, the blowback on ODIN for this will be huge. 352 00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:26,279 - And I saw it coming. I knew it. - Uh-huh. 353 00:18:26,455 --> 00:18:29,583 Just like I knew Sterling would come crying back to mommy... 354 00:18:29,758 --> 00:18:31,988 wiping his snotty nose on his sleeve... 355 00:18:32,161 --> 00:18:35,153 - like a scared little boy on Christmas. - Uh-huh. 356 00:18:35,330 --> 00:18:37,764 Eve. It was only Christmas Eve. 357 00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:40,333 - I know. Good to have you back. - And? 358 00:18:40,502 --> 00:18:43,198 - And? - And do you just plan to loom over me... 359 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:47,604 - all day, like some sort of henge? - Okay. 360 00:18:47,776 --> 00:18:50,210 Well, you see? This is why. 361 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,870 This is why we can't have nice things. 362 00:18:53,048 --> 00:18:55,881 Barry, you asshole! 363 00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:59,817 - How am I the bad guy in this? - Because I wanted this, Archer. 364 00:18:59,988 --> 00:19:02,115 I'm sick of you getting the best assignments... 365 00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:05,727 just because your mother is the boss. Do you know what that's like? 366 00:19:05,928 --> 00:19:08,158 - Besides awesome? - Oh! 367 00:19:08,330 --> 00:19:12,391 - Hang on, I think my car's on P-2. - Well, I have to get Cyril, who's on... 368 00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:15,230 - Framboise, hello. - Hello. 369 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:18,464 Oh, man. That's bad. 370 00:19:21,176 --> 00:19:24,111 - Yes, now. Let's talk this out. - Talk what out? 371 00:19:24,279 --> 00:19:26,247 How you ruined my chance to work for ODIN? 372 00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:29,248 Or, ooh, maybe how I just caught my boyfriend... 373 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:32,080 - balls-deep in some French chick. - Ex-boyfriend, I bet. 374 00:19:32,254 --> 00:19:34,882 - You think? - Yeah, he's not coming back. 375 00:19:35,057 --> 00:19:37,252 That chick was like the Pele of anal. 376 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,417 - Archer? - Sorry, I know this is tough. 377 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:43,656 I mean, Cyril, whatever, but your feelings for me are obviously conflicted... 378 00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:45,993 You're right, Archer, I am conflicted. 379 00:19:46,168 --> 00:19:49,194 Because if I had shot you in the face, I'd be living here. 380 00:19:49,371 --> 00:19:52,772 - Getting curtsied at by servants. - Yeah, but you couldn't do it. 381 00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:56,669 Maybe we both belong at ISIS, you know? 382 00:19:56,845 --> 00:19:59,405 - Maybe that's our real home. - That's what Mother said... 383 00:19:59,581 --> 00:20:02,141 about boarding school. And really, sorry about Cyril. 384 00:20:02,317 --> 00:20:04,376 - Me too. - Even if you brought it on yourself. 385 00:20:04,553 --> 00:20:07,078 - Excuse me? - Oh, come on, I don't recall ever seeing... 386 00:20:07,256 --> 00:20:09,349 - a welcome mat at your back door. - Archer. 387 00:20:09,524 --> 00:20:12,857 But wait, would that cheer you up? Me and you, a little revenge-anal? 388 00:20:13,028 --> 00:20:14,188 - Archer? - Yes? 389 00:20:14,363 --> 00:20:16,593 - You wearing a seatbelt? - Uh, no, why...? 390 00:20:22,938 --> 00:20:26,430 So, uh, is that a yes, or a maybe, or? 391 00:20:26,742 --> 00:20:28,107 What? 392 00:20:28,677 --> 00:20:31,976 Oh, okay. Then, I guess, just pout. 392 00:20:32,305 --> 00:21:32,946 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP