1 00:00:06,266 --> 00:00:07,421 Lana. 2 00:00:07,991 --> 00:00:09,141 Lana. 3 00:00:09,963 --> 00:00:10,998 Let me go ahead 4 00:00:11,086 --> 00:00:12,554 and save you the trouble of shouting my name 5 00:00:12,641 --> 00:00:14,259 - like a shrill five-year-old... - Shrill? 6 00:00:14,346 --> 00:00:16,217 And point out that I'm a little busy 7 00:00:16,305 --> 00:00:17,524 doing both our jobs. 8 00:00:17,612 --> 00:00:18,960 Which I'd be helping you with 9 00:00:19,048 --> 00:00:20,647 if I could find the goddamn cherries. 10 00:00:20,735 --> 00:00:21,582 What cherries? 11 00:00:21,669 --> 00:00:23,079 The maraschino cherries, 12 00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:24,736 - Lana. I... - We are entering the atmosphere 13 00:00:24,823 --> 00:00:27,243 of an uncharted planet at a couple thousand miles per hour 14 00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:28,470 to check out a distress beacon, 15 00:00:28,557 --> 00:00:30,690 and you're talking to me about cherries? 16 00:00:30,809 --> 00:00:32,724 She said. Dryly. 17 00:00:32,811 --> 00:00:35,780 Sorry. I didn't invent how to make a whiskey sour, Lana. 18 00:00:35,868 --> 00:00:36,766 Here's an idea. 19 00:00:36,854 --> 00:00:39,673 Maybe try inventing not doing that right now. 20 00:00:39,761 --> 00:00:41,601 God, lighten up. It's a road trip. 21 00:00:41,689 --> 00:00:43,952 Who goes on a road trip without a few cocktails? 22 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:45,524 - Look... - Trick question, Lana. 23 00:00:45,633 --> 00:00:46,952 - No one does. - This isn't... 24 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,392 The time to try new things. Exactly. 25 00:00:49,448 --> 00:00:52,493 Especially when we're going a thousand miles per... 26 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,016 Goddamn it! 27 00:00:55,282 --> 00:00:56,835 System failure. 28 00:00:56,922 --> 00:00:59,339 - System failure. - Autopilot is out! 29 00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:01,063 I got it. 30 00:01:02,919 --> 00:01:04,333 What is happening? 31 00:01:04,421 --> 00:01:06,817 - What are they doing?! - Goddamn it! 32 00:01:06,905 --> 00:01:08,410 The hell's going on up there? 33 00:01:08,498 --> 00:01:09,852 Don't look at me! 34 00:01:09,940 --> 00:01:12,094 Talk to Captain Road Trip over here! 35 00:01:12,182 --> 00:01:14,860 What? Oh, how is this suddenly my fault? 36 00:01:15,164 --> 00:01:16,636 We're coming in hot! 37 00:01:16,724 --> 00:01:18,508 Everyone, hang on! 38 00:01:18,596 --> 00:01:20,647 Hey, if you happen to see any cherries back there... 39 00:01:20,735 --> 00:01:21,967 Oh, God, give it a rest! 40 00:01:22,055 --> 00:01:24,180 You give it a rest! 41 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:32,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 42 00:01:44,922 --> 00:01:45,938 Ow! 43 00:01:46,092 --> 00:01:48,024 Holy shitsnacks! 44 00:01:52,165 --> 00:01:53,251 Never mind. 45 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,079 Found the cherries. 46 00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:28,900 *ARCHER * Season 10 Episode 06 47 00:02:28,994 --> 00:02:30,994 *ARCHER * Episode Title :"1999: Road Trip" 48 00:02:35,157 --> 00:02:38,664 So, got some good news and some bad news. 49 00:02:40,019 --> 00:02:42,110 Any chance you're gonna tell us what it is? 50 00:02:42,198 --> 00:02:43,912 Oh. Right. The bad news is, 51 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,150 comms are dead and the fuel cell's ruptured, 52 00:02:46,238 --> 00:02:48,462 so we're not going anywhere anytime soon. 53 00:02:48,550 --> 00:02:50,917 Hang on. You mean, we're frickin' stranded? 54 00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:53,215 Not stranded, dummy. 55 00:02:53,371 --> 00:02:54,440 He said "soon." 56 00:02:54,528 --> 00:02:56,283 Though I technically meant "ever." 57 00:02:56,371 --> 00:02:57,401 Then what's the good news? 58 00:02:57,488 --> 00:02:59,806 Hmm. Guess it was mostly just bad news. 59 00:02:59,894 --> 00:03:02,048 - Damn it, Krieger! - God, relax. 60 00:03:02,136 --> 00:03:03,623 He said "mostly." 61 00:03:03,711 --> 00:03:06,837 So... completely inoperable. 62 00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:08,501 Um, what are you doing? 63 00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:11,470 Oh. Uh, since our insurance claims keep getting denied, 64 00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:14,322 Ms. Archer has put me in charge of the paperwork. 65 00:03:14,410 --> 00:03:16,033 Cause of accident: 66 00:03:16,121 --> 00:03:18,126 barely functional alcoholism. 67 00:03:18,214 --> 00:03:19,564 - Hey! - All right, listen up. 68 00:03:19,652 --> 00:03:21,229 Let's salvage what we can from the shuttle 69 00:03:21,316 --> 00:03:22,642 and find the distress beacon. 70 00:03:22,730 --> 00:03:24,103 It's probably a downed ship, 71 00:03:24,191 --> 00:03:26,221 so maybe there's a fuel cell we can use. 72 00:03:26,309 --> 00:03:27,586 Way ahead of you. 73 00:03:27,751 --> 00:03:29,572 On the "salvage what you can" part. 74 00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:31,837 - Unbelievable. - Right? 75 00:03:31,942 --> 00:03:33,324 What are the chances lemons 76 00:03:33,412 --> 00:03:36,392 - would survive the... - Can you please focus? 77 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,415 Why? Mother's probably putting together 78 00:03:38,503 --> 00:03:40,353 a rescue plan as we speak. 79 00:03:41,683 --> 00:03:43,516 Mm. should probably check 80 00:03:43,604 --> 00:03:46,267 on why their comms are down. 81 00:03:47,172 --> 00:03:49,917 Meh. Feels like it can wait. 82 00:03:51,368 --> 00:03:53,212 Everything can wait. 83 00:03:57,118 --> 00:03:58,946 Speaking of, anybody want in on this? 84 00:03:59,034 --> 00:04:00,018 I'm about to make another batch. 85 00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:01,749 - Seriously? - Road trip. 86 00:04:01,837 --> 00:04:04,440 Which we may be on forever if we're stranded here. 87 00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:06,525 Oh, take it easy, Lana. It'll be fine. 88 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,747 And this blithe optimism is based on what, exactly? 89 00:04:09,835 --> 00:04:12,229 Because this is me we're talking about. 90 00:04:12,317 --> 00:04:13,395 Wildly reassuring. 91 00:04:13,483 --> 00:04:14,561 Trust me on this. 92 00:04:14,649 --> 00:04:16,850 I have mastered the art of blind luck. 93 00:04:16,938 --> 00:04:18,706 No offense to your blind luck, 94 00:04:18,794 --> 00:04:20,841 but it might be nice to have a plan B. 95 00:04:20,929 --> 00:04:23,076 Why? Seriously, do you have any idea 96 00:04:23,164 --> 00:04:26,210 how many times I should haveliterally died in the last year? 97 00:04:26,305 --> 00:04:27,887 - Wow me. - Krieger, tell her. 98 00:04:27,975 --> 00:04:29,585 Including that thing last week? 99 00:04:29,679 --> 00:04:31,692 Hey! This is totally safe, right? 100 00:04:31,780 --> 00:04:34,478 - Technically? - As in "actually," Krieger! 101 00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:36,083 Kind of feels like probably. 102 00:04:36,171 --> 00:04:37,339 To both of those. 103 00:04:37,427 --> 00:04:38,880 Whoa, whoa, wait! What?! 104 00:04:38,968 --> 00:04:40,735 - Then nine. - Boosh. 105 00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:42,184 Please tell me there's a point. 106 00:04:42,272 --> 00:04:43,521 Point is, if you hit pause 107 00:04:43,609 --> 00:04:45,503 on your whole angry negativity thing... 108 00:04:45,591 --> 00:04:46,770 Angry what? 109 00:04:46,858 --> 00:04:47,919 For, like, one second, 110 00:04:48,007 --> 00:04:50,356 you'd notice we always end up fine. 111 00:04:58,101 --> 00:05:00,574 Though we may be pushing our luck at this point. 112 00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:05,314 Christ on a cracker. 113 00:05:05,402 --> 00:05:08,022 Is this whole frickin' planet uphill? 114 00:05:08,272 --> 00:05:09,697 Jesus, is that a thing? 115 00:05:09,785 --> 00:05:12,512 At least it means we're not totally lost going in circles. 116 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,208 Though not feeling entirely un-lost. 117 00:05:15,296 --> 00:05:16,340 We're not lost, idiots. 118 00:05:16,428 --> 00:05:18,483 I know how to work the whatchamahickey. 119 00:05:18,571 --> 00:05:19,872 Really? Because "whatchamahickey" 120 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,658 doesn't inspire tons of confidence. 121 00:05:21,776 --> 00:05:23,622 It's technically a whatchamacallit. 122 00:05:23,710 --> 00:05:25,802 Or am I being too negative? 123 00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,934 - When are you not? - All the time, jackass! 124 00:05:28,022 --> 00:05:30,242 - Oh, and there's the angry part. - Look... 125 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,985 Face it, Lana. Angry'sbasically your default setting. 126 00:05:33,073 --> 00:05:34,683 - Says who? - Besides everybody? 127 00:05:34,771 --> 00:05:37,153 - Well, not everybody. - Thank you! 128 00:05:37,241 --> 00:05:39,380 Just the people who've actually met you. 129 00:05:39,468 --> 00:05:41,278 Yeah. Possibly a few others. 130 00:05:41,366 --> 00:05:42,367 Hey, assholes. 131 00:05:42,501 --> 00:05:44,568 I'm not, like, perpetually angry. 132 00:05:45,194 --> 00:05:46,247 Really? 133 00:05:46,335 --> 00:05:48,473 - Yes, really. - Scale of one to ten, Lana, 134 00:05:48,561 --> 00:05:50,559 how happy would you say you are, in general? 135 00:05:50,647 --> 00:05:51,817 Oh, easily a six. 136 00:05:51,905 --> 00:05:54,012 A six? Then what's a seven, 137 00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:55,160 "Yay, I've got 138 00:05:55,248 --> 00:05:57,144 - tons of cancer"? - Like you're any better. 139 00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:59,329 Seriously? I'm always a total nine. 140 00:05:59,417 --> 00:06:00,516 Please. 141 00:06:00,604 --> 00:06:02,716 I'm buoyant, Lana, bordering on bubbly. 142 00:06:02,804 --> 00:06:03,966 Listen to how I talk. 143 00:06:04,054 --> 00:06:05,762 - There's a tone. - A tone? 144 00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:07,348 Yes, Lana, a tone. 145 00:06:07,442 --> 00:06:09,950 Notice how my sentences go up at the end? 146 00:06:10,038 --> 00:06:12,302 Oh, yeah. You mean like, "Shut the hell up"? 147 00:06:12,390 --> 00:06:14,005 Exac... Damn it. 148 00:06:14,093 --> 00:06:15,398 - Ow! - Ha. 149 00:06:15,486 --> 00:06:17,708 Now I'm a seven, by the way. 150 00:06:21,908 --> 00:06:23,700 And now I'm a two. 151 00:06:26,256 --> 00:06:28,192 So which part of the blind luck plan is this? 152 00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,739 Um, I think this is the part where you sh... 153 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,232 it! 154 00:06:32,405 --> 00:06:33,450 Finally! 155 00:06:33,538 --> 00:06:35,453 Some frickin' downhill. 156 00:06:38,724 --> 00:06:42,145 Blind luck, you are my spirit animal. 157 00:06:45,417 --> 00:06:47,549 Holy space snacks. 158 00:06:47,705 --> 00:06:49,385 What the hell happened? 159 00:06:49,521 --> 00:06:51,818 Hopefully nothing a fuel cell couldn't survive. 160 00:06:51,906 --> 00:06:53,901 Yeah, otherwise, we're pretty much screwed. 161 00:06:53,989 --> 00:06:55,026 Easy, Debbie Downer. 162 00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:57,284 No one wants to go to your dark place right now. 163 00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:59,487 - You know... - Yeah, but she's right. 164 00:06:59,575 --> 00:07:01,385 We only have enough food for a few days. 165 00:07:01,473 --> 00:07:04,153 Then what? We sit around and starve? 166 00:07:04,325 --> 00:07:06,151 Please, whoever survives the culling 167 00:07:06,272 --> 00:07:08,284 - will have plenty of food. - The what? 168 00:07:08,372 --> 00:07:09,807 Uh, the culling? 169 00:07:09,895 --> 00:07:11,885 You know, where people suffocatein their sleep 170 00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,759 with gross, sweaty socks stuffed in their mouths 171 00:07:13,846 --> 00:07:15,246 or get accidentally stabbed in the neck 172 00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:16,854 while they pee or whatever? 173 00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:20,167 - What? - The details make it weird. 174 00:07:20,255 --> 00:07:21,417 Just the details? 175 00:07:21,505 --> 00:07:22,636 Section seven, 176 00:07:22,724 --> 00:07:25,206 possible post-accident injuries. 177 00:07:25,302 --> 00:07:28,151 - Uh, that's "culling" with a "C," right? - Look, 178 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:30,543 idiots, there's got to be a fuelcell around here somewhere. 179 00:07:30,630 --> 00:07:32,463 They're basically impossible to destroy. 180 00:07:32,551 --> 00:07:34,649 Unless the pilot spills a cocktail 181 00:07:34,737 --> 00:07:36,260 - all over the flight controls. - Yeah. 182 00:07:36,348 --> 00:07:38,549 But what are the odds their pilot was that kick-ass? 183 00:07:38,637 --> 00:07:41,620 Perhaps better than you think. 184 00:07:41,999 --> 00:07:43,752 Holy... 185 00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,950 Shitsnacks. 186 00:07:46,038 --> 00:07:47,513 Ooh. Fascinating. 187 00:07:47,629 --> 00:07:49,413 Now I'm an eight. 188 00:07:50,081 --> 00:07:52,362 How is this possible? 189 00:07:52,450 --> 00:07:53,625 It-it isn't. 190 00:07:53,712 --> 00:07:54,721 This is insane. 191 00:07:54,809 --> 00:07:56,049 Obviously. 192 00:07:56,346 --> 00:07:58,651 I mean, who shaves off hair like this? 193 00:08:00,712 --> 00:08:02,073 Idiot. 194 00:08:07,081 --> 00:08:10,011 Okay, there's got to be a logical explanation. 195 00:08:10,201 --> 00:08:12,834 Lana, there's nothing logical about shaving... 196 00:08:12,922 --> 00:08:14,570 Not talking about your hair, dumb-ass. 197 00:08:14,658 --> 00:08:16,573 None of this makes any sense. 198 00:08:16,661 --> 00:08:19,571 Uh, ever consider the fact we're obviously ghosts 199 00:08:19,659 --> 00:08:22,101 looking at our own stupid dead bodies? 200 00:08:22,196 --> 00:08:24,375 We're not ghosts, dick nuts. 201 00:08:24,463 --> 00:08:26,007 - How do you... - Ow! 202 00:08:26,191 --> 00:08:28,330 Buy a girl a drink first. 203 00:08:28,418 --> 00:08:29,480 Jesus. 204 00:08:29,568 --> 00:08:32,066 Is anyone here familiar with multiverse theory? 205 00:08:32,154 --> 00:08:33,613 How 'bout pretend we're not? 206 00:08:33,701 --> 00:08:36,530 Long story short, this may be a parallel universe, 207 00:08:36,618 --> 00:08:39,273 making these our doppelgangers. 208 00:08:39,361 --> 00:08:40,705 Doppel-what? 209 00:08:40,793 --> 00:08:43,089 Sort of like everyone's alter egos. 210 00:08:43,428 --> 00:08:45,093 Not everyone's. 211 00:08:45,219 --> 00:08:47,101 Yeah. Where's yours, Krieger? 212 00:08:47,189 --> 00:08:49,312 Huh. Maybe doppel-Krieger survived. 213 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,078 Yeah. And maybe he killed everybody. 214 00:08:52,166 --> 00:08:53,236 Please, 215 00:08:53,323 --> 00:08:55,468 why would I ever finally do that? 216 00:08:57,267 --> 00:08:59,109 What the hell? 217 00:09:00,038 --> 00:09:01,421 Mayday, Mayday. 218 00:09:01,509 --> 00:09:03,541 This is Sterling Archer of the MVSeamus, 219 00:09:03,629 --> 00:09:04,740 and we are going down. 220 00:09:04,828 --> 00:09:06,515 Repeat, we are going down. 221 00:09:06,603 --> 00:09:08,431 Transmitting our location now. 222 00:09:08,519 --> 00:09:10,828 And, on a personal note, whoever gets this, 223 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,551 please know my only regret is... 224 00:09:13,639 --> 00:09:14,947 The hair, obviously. 225 00:09:15,035 --> 00:09:16,023 - Shut up. - Oh, come on. -Shut up, man. 226 00:09:16,111 --> 00:09:18,318 I wasn't able to save my valiant crew. 227 00:09:18,406 --> 00:09:19,731 My dear friends, Cyril, 228 00:09:19,819 --> 00:09:21,156 Pam, Krieger, 229 00:09:21,244 --> 00:09:22,500 Ray, Crystal... 230 00:09:22,588 --> 00:09:25,112 Oh, my God! Totally forgot about the Crystal thing. 231 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:26,873 I love you all dearly. 232 00:09:26,961 --> 00:09:28,915 Truly the best friends a guy could have. 233 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,787 - Aw. - Oh, my God, give me... 234 00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:31,617 Shut up! 235 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:32,836 But, most of all, 236 00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:34,734 I'll miss my wife, Lana. 237 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:37,453 You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me. 238 00:09:37,693 --> 00:09:39,718 I wrote you this poem I want to read. 239 00:09:40,030 --> 00:09:43,140 It's called "I'll Never Stop..." 240 00:09:43,228 --> 00:09:44,778 "Totally Embarrassing Yourself"? 241 00:09:44,866 --> 00:09:46,276 - Come on! - Oh, God! 242 00:09:46,538 --> 00:09:48,801 You realize, theoretically, that was you, right? 243 00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,806 How? He's nothing like me. 244 00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:53,810 Got a point. He did seem entirely non-self-absorbed. 245 00:09:53,897 --> 00:09:55,530 Exactly. Wait, what? 246 00:09:55,618 --> 00:09:57,100 And weirdly not a dick. 247 00:09:57,188 --> 00:09:59,030 You're weirdly not a dick. 248 00:09:59,119 --> 00:10:00,655 - Makes no sense. - Yeah. 249 00:10:00,743 --> 00:10:04,138 That other Archer was refreshingly friendly. 250 00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:06,170 Yeah, like what you think matters, Cyril. 251 00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:07,382 And we're back. 252 00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:09,936 And is it just me, or was that shaved head thing 253 00:10:10,024 --> 00:10:12,249 - super working? - Totally. 254 00:10:12,337 --> 00:10:13,757 - Ka-sploosh! - I was into it. 255 00:10:13,845 --> 00:10:16,266 Just sit thereand be into the non-hair-having, 256 00:10:16,354 --> 00:10:18,138 clearly castrated version of me 257 00:10:18,225 --> 00:10:21,436 while I go find a fuel cell to get us all out of here, which, 258 00:10:21,524 --> 00:10:26,100 P.S., is pretty much the opposite of self-absorbed! 259 00:10:29,068 --> 00:10:31,085 So, how's the bubbly thing going? 260 00:10:31,275 --> 00:10:32,972 Still sporting that nine? 261 00:10:33,153 --> 00:10:34,405 No. 262 00:10:45,781 --> 00:10:48,168 "Are you making any of the following claims 263 00:10:48,255 --> 00:10:49,605 for emotional distress?" 264 00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,077 Yes, yes, yes. 265 00:10:51,165 --> 00:10:52,165 Well, these are all yes. 266 00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:04,097 Shit, I'm heavy. 267 00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:10,706 Incoming! 268 00:11:21,315 --> 00:11:24,057 So, I officially quit. 269 00:11:24,265 --> 00:11:26,503 And speaking of good news, 270 00:11:26,591 --> 00:11:30,035 I assume finding this crammed up my ass qualified? 271 00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,125 Is that a fuel cell? Oh, thank God. 272 00:11:32,212 --> 00:11:34,299 Shut up, Cyril. You still don't matter. 273 00:11:35,747 --> 00:11:37,995 It's funny 'cause it's true. 274 00:11:39,706 --> 00:11:42,540 Okay, got some good news and bad news. 275 00:11:43,723 --> 00:11:46,440 Bad news is, that thing's not going anywhere. 276 00:11:46,649 --> 00:11:48,135 And the good news? 277 00:11:48,223 --> 00:11:50,579 Mm. I swear I had something for this. 278 00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:52,049 - Krieger. - Krieger! -Great. 279 00:11:52,137 --> 00:11:54,237 Making us pretty much screwed. 280 00:11:54,325 --> 00:11:56,022 - Easily a six. - Shut it. 281 00:11:56,141 --> 00:11:58,792 And let the culling begin! 282 00:11:58,978 --> 00:12:00,290 Okay. 283 00:12:01,109 --> 00:12:03,331 Maybe instead of culling each other, 284 00:12:03,419 --> 00:12:05,393 we should come up with an actual plan. 285 00:12:05,481 --> 00:12:07,557 Like, obviously, someone needs to go out there 286 00:12:07,645 --> 00:12:09,846 and distract that thing while everyone else gets away. 287 00:12:09,934 --> 00:12:11,228 And I vote Pam. 288 00:12:11,316 --> 00:12:12,791 What? Screw you, dick nuts. 289 00:12:12,879 --> 00:12:14,254 - What? - Why me? 290 00:12:14,341 --> 00:12:15,691 Because look at you, Pam. 291 00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:17,910 That thing's not gonna want to eat... that. 292 00:12:17,997 --> 00:12:19,129 Well, you either! 293 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:21,275 'Cause who'd want to eat a complete dick? 294 00:12:21,363 --> 00:12:23,129 Just gonna softball it in like that? 295 00:12:23,217 --> 00:12:25,447 Sorry I didn't invent appetizing, Pam. 296 00:12:25,535 --> 00:12:27,723 Yeah, well, I'm sorry we ended up 297 00:12:27,811 --> 00:12:29,943 with the complete asshole version of you. 298 00:12:30,031 --> 00:12:33,246 Oh, what? You'd rather have touchy-feely bald guy? 299 00:12:33,334 --> 00:12:35,027 - Yep, yep, yep. - 100%. -No contest. 300 00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:36,855 Fine. Know what? 301 00:12:37,142 --> 00:12:39,449 You want him? 302 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,051 Then come and get him! 303 00:12:44,358 --> 00:12:45,882 Boom! Wordplay! 304 00:12:46,757 --> 00:12:48,476 Now run, idiots! 305 00:12:53,527 --> 00:12:55,746 So, was it weird? 306 00:12:55,893 --> 00:12:57,055 Probably. 307 00:12:57,143 --> 00:12:58,487 Wait, what are we talking about? 308 00:12:58,575 --> 00:13:01,055 You know, watching your alterego get eaten by a giant lizard. 309 00:13:01,143 --> 00:13:03,581 Please, if that guy was really my alter ego, Lana, 310 00:13:03,669 --> 00:13:05,279 he would have been something really cool, 311 00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:08,012 like a secret agent or a private detective 312 00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:09,659 or a... 313 00:13:15,284 --> 00:13:16,495 Oh, my God! 314 00:13:16,583 --> 00:13:18,013 You guys are alive! 315 00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:19,015 Archer! 316 00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,930 Oh, God. Get it off. 317 00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,453 And your hair! 318 00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:24,674 - Right? - It's glorious! 319 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,588 Aw. Wait a minute. 320 00:13:26,690 --> 00:13:28,197 Doppelganger multiverse theory? 321 00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:29,455 Exactly. 322 00:13:29,543 --> 00:13:31,963 And the rest of my crew's... dead? 323 00:13:32,051 --> 00:13:34,706 - Exactly. - Oh, like you didn't kill them. 324 00:13:34,794 --> 00:13:35,909 What? 325 00:13:35,997 --> 00:13:37,738 Why would I ever do that, finally? 326 00:13:37,826 --> 00:13:38,862 - Right? - Besides... 327 00:13:38,950 --> 00:13:40,274 You know what? What do you say 328 00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:42,429 we take this half-assed reunion on the road 329 00:13:42,516 --> 00:13:45,463 before that tyrannosaurus whatever shows up for seconds? 330 00:13:45,551 --> 00:13:46,877 - Fascinating. - What? 331 00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:49,174 Our Lana had a lot of angry energy, too. 332 00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:50,729 Ha! Hilarious. 333 00:13:50,817 --> 00:13:51,885 Oh, is it? 334 00:13:51,973 --> 00:13:54,336 And that was no Tyrannosaurus rexyou saw. 335 00:13:54,424 --> 00:13:56,307 I mean, unless a T. rexis capable 336 00:13:56,395 --> 00:13:58,920 of camouflaging itself perfectlyin any surroundings 337 00:13:59,008 --> 00:14:00,745 with chameleon-like... 338 00:14:04,306 --> 00:14:05,559 Oh, shit. 339 00:14:05,669 --> 00:14:07,026 It's right behind me, isn't it? 340 00:14:12,964 --> 00:14:17,621 So, how's that whole blind luck thing working out? 341 00:14:19,706 --> 00:14:22,134 No! Me! 342 00:14:27,683 --> 00:14:29,222 You tell me. 343 00:14:37,854 --> 00:14:40,140 Uh, I mean, seriously, Lana, 344 00:14:40,235 --> 00:14:42,640 At some point, you really got to ask yourself... 345 00:14:42,728 --> 00:14:43,843 It's not the time. 346 00:14:43,931 --> 00:14:46,335 If maybe the luckiest spot in the galaxy 347 00:14:46,423 --> 00:14:48,470 is standing right next to me. 348 00:14:48,558 --> 00:14:51,109 Got a whole bunch of wedding photos that say otherwise. 349 00:14:51,197 --> 00:14:53,222 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 350 00:14:55,002 --> 00:14:56,132 We have wedding photos? 351 00:14:56,220 --> 00:14:58,626 Oh, yeah. Big box of 'em labeled "Cautionary Tale," 352 00:14:58,713 --> 00:15:00,715 which is what this whole thing'sgonna turn into 353 00:15:00,802 --> 00:15:03,291 if we can't find our way back to the ship. 354 00:15:04,663 --> 00:15:05,795 How the hell? 355 00:15:05,892 --> 00:15:07,650 I've learned not to ask. 356 00:15:07,738 --> 00:15:09,113 Now, let's get the hell out of here. 357 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,268 Wait, what are you talking about? We can't just fly off. 358 00:15:11,355 --> 00:15:13,812 What? Then why have I been lugging this thing around 359 00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:15,187 - all this time? - No. 360 00:15:15,275 --> 00:15:16,955 I mean we can't just leave everyone. 361 00:15:17,051 --> 00:15:19,335 Of course we're not, Lana. 362 00:15:19,423 --> 00:15:21,390 Assuming they get here on time. 363 00:15:21,478 --> 00:15:23,218 Wow. Such an asshole. 364 00:15:23,306 --> 00:15:24,565 - What? - Could you try 365 00:15:24,652 --> 00:15:27,054 not being completely consumed with yourself 366 00:15:27,142 --> 00:15:29,220 for once in your life? 367 00:15:29,542 --> 00:15:31,314 Why? 368 00:15:32,695 --> 00:15:34,843 Wait, I don't want to go wandering around 369 00:15:34,931 --> 00:15:37,716 a man-eating jungle and suddenly I'm the asshole? 370 00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,538 How does that even work? 371 00:15:43,656 --> 00:15:45,171 Oh, I know. 372 00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:48,140 Maybe I should shave my head and take up poetry 373 00:15:48,249 --> 00:15:51,765 and see how many things I canrhyme with "soul-sucking" and... 374 00:15:51,896 --> 00:15:53,429 Lana! 375 00:15:54,498 --> 00:15:56,796 Psst! Lana! 376 00:15:57,780 --> 00:15:59,076 What are you guys doing? 377 00:15:59,164 --> 00:16:01,099 Well, we werehiding from that stupid, 378 00:16:01,187 --> 00:16:02,497 giant lizard thingy. 379 00:16:02,585 --> 00:16:05,200 But now, thanks to your loud-as-shit ass... 380 00:16:05,288 --> 00:16:06,749 Not so much. 381 00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:10,272 Holy... 382 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,609 Shit. 383 00:16:11,953 --> 00:16:13,507 Oh, wait. 384 00:16:15,162 --> 00:16:17,552 Ow! What are you doing, woman?! 385 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,576 Besides pissing it off even more! 386 00:16:19,663 --> 00:16:22,274 And totally killing our earballs! 387 00:16:22,468 --> 00:16:24,581 - What? - See?! 388 00:16:26,338 --> 00:16:27,844 Goddamn it! 389 00:16:36,941 --> 00:16:39,227 Good God. What the hell's it doing now? 390 00:16:39,376 --> 00:16:41,038 I don't know, moving on to plan B? 391 00:16:41,126 --> 00:16:44,501 Yeah, "B," as in "burying us alive!" 392 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,317 Okay. 393 00:16:54,405 --> 00:16:55,848 Who brought the dog? 394 00:17:04,028 --> 00:17:05,286 Damn it! 395 00:17:11,106 --> 00:17:12,542 No! 396 00:17:41,153 --> 00:17:44,983 Well, look who decided not to be a total dick. 397 00:17:45,071 --> 00:17:47,639 Just couldn't leave my buddy Cyril behind. 398 00:17:47,882 --> 00:17:48,970 Wait, really? 399 00:17:49,057 --> 00:17:50,434 Of course not, idiot. 400 00:17:50,522 --> 00:17:53,910 And yet you had the time to stopand make a cocktail. 401 00:17:53,998 --> 00:17:56,804 God, you are just so glass half-empty. 402 00:17:56,891 --> 00:17:58,239 Ooh, actually, me, too. 403 00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:00,373 So just gonna freshen this up. 404 00:18:12,483 --> 00:18:13,850 Item one. 405 00:18:13,938 --> 00:18:16,039 - Item what? - Yeah, what are we even doing? 406 00:18:16,127 --> 00:18:17,733 It's called an agenda. 407 00:18:17,821 --> 00:18:19,826 - For what? - So confused right now. 408 00:18:19,914 --> 00:18:22,067 I swear, you people! 409 00:18:22,333 --> 00:18:23,699 Item one. 410 00:18:23,787 --> 00:18:25,920 The insurance company has officially deemed 411 00:18:26,007 --> 00:18:27,748 the Seamus Ila total loss, 412 00:18:27,848 --> 00:18:29,197 so this little enterprise 413 00:18:29,285 --> 00:18:32,201 may actually turn a profit this year. 414 00:18:32,435 --> 00:18:34,655 What are you talking about? 415 00:18:34,743 --> 00:18:37,020 - The other crew. - Hang on. I thought those were 416 00:18:37,108 --> 00:18:39,077 our parallel universe doppel-bangers. 417 00:18:39,225 --> 00:18:40,560 Oh, for the love of... 418 00:18:40,732 --> 00:18:42,754 Those were clones, you idiots. 419 00:18:42,842 --> 00:18:45,404 I had you people cloned in your sleep. 420 00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:48,113 - Why? - To double productivity, dear. 421 00:18:48,201 --> 00:18:50,107 It was Krieger's idea. 422 00:18:50,942 --> 00:18:53,271 Oh, did I obviously forget 423 00:18:53,396 --> 00:18:54,818 - to mention that? - Yep. 424 00:18:54,906 --> 00:18:58,131 So wait till you see what we doto you in yoursleep. 425 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:01,467 Now I'm a nine. 426 00:19:26,626 --> 00:19:29,790 Made in Georgia. 427 00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:33,910 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 428 00:19:34,419 --> 00:19:37,038 Sync corrections by srjanapala 428 00:19:38,305 --> 00:20:38,602 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP