1 00:00:01,601 --> 00:00:02,590 [ARCHER SIGHS] 2 00:00:02,802 --> 00:00:04,599 ARCHER: Oh, man, is this great? LANA: No, Archer. 3 00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:06,328 ARCHER: Was that rhetorical? LANA: Archer. 4 00:00:06,539 --> 00:00:07,972 ARCHER: And also was that? LANA: Archer. 5 00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:11,507 Answer: Yes. They both were, because New Orleans is my kind of town... 6 00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:13,679 ...and I haven't had a vacation in forever. 7 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,575 - Well, that's great but... - NOLA. 8 00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:17,807 The Crescent City, the Big... 9 00:00:18,451 --> 00:00:21,318 - Easy. - Our mission is to stop an eco-terrorist... 10 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:24,752 ...from blowing up the biggest natural gas pipeline in North America... 11 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:27,085 ...so I wouldn't exactly call it a vacation. 12 00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:29,784 - Well, whatever. Working vacation. - Ugh. 13 00:00:29,996 --> 00:00:33,295 Because I'm not too worried about some drum-circling, hippie tree hugger. 14 00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:36,560 - Sir, can you find your seat for me? - Uh, yeah, it's right there. 15 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:39,170 Can you go find some more hurricanes for me? 16 00:00:39,472 --> 00:00:40,496 STEWARDESS: Ugh. 17 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,402 LANA: Hippies aren't the only people who care. 18 00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:45,043 Like, I happen to care. A lot. 19 00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:48,237 And so does our target, Joshua Gray, a.k.a. Gandalf. 20 00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:50,313 His name's Gandalf? And he's not a hippie? 21 00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:53,042 Gray's an ex-Green Beret. He's attacked power plants... 22 00:00:53,253 --> 00:00:55,414 ...hydroelectric dams, whaling ships... 23 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:58,420 Whaling ships? What, he's against clean-burning lamp oil? 24 00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:01,553 Would you relax? We know he's gonna attack the pipeline... 25 00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:03,661 ...and we know where the pipeline is. 26 00:01:03,863 --> 00:01:06,559 Running through a couple hundred miles of marshy wetlands. 27 00:01:06,766 --> 00:01:10,600 So mobility will be key, Lana. And how will we achieve mobility? 28 00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:11,998 Huh? 29 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:13,866 - An airboat. - An airboat, Lana. 30 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,508 - Like Burt Reynolds in White Lightning. - Great, just... 31 00:01:16,709 --> 00:01:18,233 - Not to mention Gator. - Archer. 32 00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:21,903 Which, even though it's the sequel, I think is the stronger of the two. 33 00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:23,548 Just try to keep a low profile. 34 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,913 We could scare off Gray if we don't maintain the element of surprise. 35 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,520 Hey, here's a surprise. Hermès. 36 00:01:29,722 --> 00:01:32,691 And here's another one. Remember Jerry Reed's character in Gator? 37 00:01:32,892 --> 00:01:34,519 - No. - Bama McCall? 38 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,620 - No. - Well, whatever, check this out, I sto... 39 00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:40,322 - Borrowed it from Woodhouse. - Archer, what the shit? 40 00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:42,364 Right? It's just like in Gator. 41 00:01:42,569 --> 00:01:44,196 MARSHAL: Gun! Gun! - Wha...? 42 00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:45,928 - Drop it! Drop it! - You drop it. 43 00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:47,868 - Lana, hijacking. - Damn it, it's not a hi... 44 00:01:48,074 --> 00:01:49,507 [STEWARDESS SCREAMING] 45 00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:53,440 - Oh, great, there better be more of those. - Sky marshal, drop your weapon! 46 00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:55,546 Oh, okay, relax. It's okay, we're... 47 00:01:55,748 --> 00:01:59,548 - Da, da-da-da... - Sterling Archer and Lana Kane of ISIS... 48 00:01:59,752 --> 00:02:01,811 ...and we're on a mission to stop an eco-terrorist... 49 00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:04,114 - Da-da-da. ...from blowing up a gas pipeline. 50 00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:05,621 [LANA SIGHS] 51 00:02:05,825 --> 00:02:09,454 So for the love of God, woman, go make me a fresh batch of hurricanes! 52 00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:12,495 - Great. Way to keep a low profile. - Thanks. 53 00:02:12,699 --> 00:02:14,064 [CHUCKLES] 54 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:22,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 55 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:52,269 BACKUS: This is the AmPetCo gas pipeline. 56 00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:55,566 Runs right underneath these swamps, supplying almost 20 percent... 57 00:02:55,775 --> 00:02:58,437 ...of America's liquid natural gas demand. ARCHER: Right. 58 00:02:58,645 --> 00:03:01,614 - But there's a pig launcher here. ARCHER: Is that what it sounds like? 59 00:03:01,814 --> 00:03:04,840 It's a pipe inspection gauge for cleaning the pipeline. 60 00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:09,215 It's the only section above ground, so if Gray wants to attack our pipeline... 61 00:03:09,422 --> 00:03:10,980 - He'll have to do it there. ARCHER: Right. 62 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:14,991 So we'll set up a defensive perimeter at the launcher and catch him when he tries. 63 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,628 ARCHER: Well, wait, hang on a second. 64 00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:18,729 Can I get the oyster po' boy... 65 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:22,060 ...and a side of crawfish étouffée? I'm not sure I'm gonna like it. 66 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:24,668 - Archer. Archer. - Just an entrée? Okay. Uh... 67 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,237 LANA: Archer. - Okay, so, the po' boy, the... Hello? 68 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:30,642 - Wow, speaking of disastrous... - Speaking of shut up. 69 00:03:30,843 --> 00:03:34,279 Think about what will happen to those wetlands if that pipeline explodes. 70 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:38,678 Screw the damn swamps, think of what'll happen to AmPetCo's profit margin. 71 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,614 - What? - Big money. 72 00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:43,721 Huge tax credits from that hippie Democrat Congress... 73 00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:46,551 ...just for making a few simple changes around here. 74 00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:48,317 A lot of these aren't so simple. 75 00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:51,497 Replacing all the lights with high-efficiency fluorescents... 76 00:03:51,698 --> 00:03:53,529 ...putting low-flow fixtures on plumbing. 77 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:57,362 - Recycling old batteries. - Exactly. Don't we do that already? 78 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:58,867 Um... 79 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,300 [GARBAGE DISPOSAL WHIRRING] 80 00:04:00,506 --> 00:04:04,738 I don't even understand why we have a car battery! 81 00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:07,605 Pretty much. 82 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:10,374 Good. Because I'm not leaving money on the table. 83 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,177 So to get these freebie socialist tax credits... 84 00:04:13,386 --> 00:04:17,288 ...we are going to make this place lean and green. 85 00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:18,923 Typical corporate bullshit. 86 00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:21,685 Thirty acres of wetlands disappear every single day... 87 00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:24,419 ...but all you care about is how much gas you pump out. 88 00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:29,534 - Hey, we're just supplying a demand. - Yeah, AmPetCo's demand for huge profits. 89 00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:33,263 Well, some of those huge profits are paying ISIS to protect that pipeline. 90 00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:36,738 - Which I'm only doing for the wetlands. - Wetlands, profits, whatever. 91 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,969 - Yeah, sounds like a win-win. - Just get out there and do your job. 92 00:04:40,179 --> 00:04:43,979 Yeah, I will. If you will excuse me. 93 00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:45,749 [DOOR SLAMS] 94 00:04:47,253 --> 00:04:49,483 I should go with her. 95 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:51,816 I don't think room service is coming. 96 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,117 REMY: Should have called first. 97 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:56,625 That's the only airboat around for 50 miles, and it reserved. 98 00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:59,059 - What do you mean? - Is that not self-explanatory? 99 00:04:59,265 --> 00:05:02,723 Look, this is kind of an emergency. Can't we work something out? 100 00:05:02,935 --> 00:05:04,994 If you use that money to buy a time machine... 101 00:05:05,204 --> 00:05:07,900 ...go back and be the first person to reserve that boat. 102 00:05:08,107 --> 00:05:09,267 - You sure about that? - Yup. 103 00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:13,138 That's good, because I've waited my entire life to say this exact phrase. 104 00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:16,078 I'm commandeering this airboat. 105 00:05:16,849 --> 00:05:18,248 LANA: Sorry. ARCHER: Whoo! 106 00:05:18,451 --> 00:05:23,548 - It really is an emergency. - Of an awesome and ass-kicky nature. 107 00:05:24,557 --> 00:05:26,923 And some damn guard dog you is. 108 00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:28,115 Annie? 109 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:30,856 Annie. 110 00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:33,191 Well, that's just great. 111 00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:36,391 Now both my dogs is dead. 112 00:05:36,969 --> 00:05:38,129 [REMY SOBS] 113 00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:42,766 Stupid efficient Canadian light bulbs. I can barely even see what I'm doing. 114 00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:43,964 What are you doing? 115 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,839 - I need six more of these. - Why do you need seven? 116 00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:48,911 One for each cat, duh. 117 00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:52,516 For God's sake, Pam. Have you no sense of decency? 118 00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:54,949 That bathroom's like a war crime. 119 00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:57,952 Don't blame me, it's those new low-flow toilets. 120 00:05:58,157 --> 00:06:01,058 With the old ones you could flush a dachshund puppy. 121 00:06:01,260 --> 00:06:03,854 - I mean, not that you would, but... - Next time use the... 122 00:06:04,063 --> 00:06:05,860 - Da-da-da... - Women's restroom. 123 00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:07,191 Da... 124 00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,634 - The what? - Thanks, Cyril. 125 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:15,937 ARCHER: Whoo-hoo! 126 00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:18,906 Airboat! Oh, man! 127 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:21,808 Seriously, this must be what it's like to have sex with me. 128 00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:25,415 - How can an airboat be selfish? - Nope, can't hear you. I'm too happy. 129 00:06:25,618 --> 00:06:28,178 You can't hear me because you're redlining the engine. 130 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,948 Oh, thank you, certified airboat mechanic. 131 00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:32,852 Now, where's this pig launcher thing? 132 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,583 - This heading, one mile. - Whoo! 133 00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:36,591 I'm serious, Archer, if you don't slow down... 134 00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:39,390 I'll keep feeling this incredibly vibrant and alive? 135 00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:42,193 - Yeah, until you blow the damn engine, so... - Lana! 136 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,496 I'm not gonna blow the... 137 00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:47,002 [ARCHER SCREAMS] 138 00:06:59,318 --> 00:07:00,444 [LANA CLEARS THROAT] 139 00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:05,113 - Ahem. - Yeah, try clearing your throat... 140 00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:08,885 ...about a jillion more times, Lana, see if that helps. 141 00:07:09,529 --> 00:07:10,518 [LANA CLEARS THROAT] 142 00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:13,062 No? Nothing? 143 00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:21,237 No, no, by all means, let me do this, Lana. 144 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,375 You just sit there like the African Queen. 145 00:07:23,576 --> 00:07:26,067 - The African Queen was the boat. - No, it was Audrey... 146 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,578 - Katharine. - Whichever Hepburn. She was the queen. 147 00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,811 - Of Africa. - Yeah. 148 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:35,283 The white queen of Africa. 149 00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:38,855 Yeah, back then, Hollywood was pretty weird about the whole race thing. 150 00:07:39,058 --> 00:07:42,255 Like Amos and Andy were white, a white guy played Charlie Chan. 151 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,327 - Archer. - Pretty sure Tonto was a Jew. 152 00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:46,157 - Stop. - What? 153 00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:47,491 - Gator? - Talking. 154 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:51,636 - But I do really wish there was a gator. - Hey, come on, not even as a joke, Lana. 155 00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,430 - It so wasn't. - I said I was sorry. 156 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:56,267 Tell this wildlife you're sorry when the pipeline blows... 157 00:07:56,476 --> 00:08:00,742 ...because we're not there to protect it. - A, all this wildlife can suck it. 158 00:08:00,947 --> 00:08:03,814 Everything out here either wants to eat me or give me malaria. 159 00:08:04,016 --> 00:08:05,313 And B... 160 00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,745 LANA: Oh. - No thanks to you, Queen Audrey. 161 00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:10,252 - Would you just...? - Yeah. 162 00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:11,582 [LANA GROANS] 163 00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:13,759 Okay, let's set up a defensive perimeter. 164 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,190 - Right after I set up the grill. - Will you just...? 165 00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:19,956 Hey, I just dragged this damn boat through a mile of my three biggest fears... 166 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,929 ...so I think I've earned a kebab. 167 00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:23,465 - Well, too bad. - But... 168 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:26,866 Your lab uses more electricity than the rest of ISIS put together. 169 00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:29,041 Yes, and I need every single watt. 170 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:32,473 No, we all have to pitch in to make ISIS green. 171 00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:35,909 Look at me, chopping ice for a Tom Collins like a field hand. 172 00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:38,811 - But l... - Ooh. Or do I want a mint julep? 173 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:41,987 The slightest reduction of power could put lives at risk. 174 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,053 Lives of what, a few lab rats? 175 00:08:45,124 --> 00:08:47,524 [BEEPING] 176 00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:52,720 Also, yes. 177 00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:58,067 Yeah, good, great idea. Do the one thing that could possibly make it hotter. 178 00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:00,603 You gotta sear them first, it locks in the flavor. 179 00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:03,468 And if you're hot, and also somewhat bitchy, drink a beer. 180 00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:06,042 I don't want a beer, Archer, I want water. 181 00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:09,874 Your funeral. God knows what kind of parasites are swimming around in it. 182 00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:12,550 Not swamp water, you ass. Bottled. 183 00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:15,482 - Oh, you are shitting me. - I know, right? 184 00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:18,555 A rainbow should shoot out every time you open it. 185 00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:21,226 - You didn't bring any water? - Where would I put it? 186 00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:24,225 Great, I'll just wait half an hour for a cup of ice to melt. 187 00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:25,624 - Don't. Don't... - Ow! Shit. 188 00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:27,924 ...touch it. - What the f****** shit is this? 189 00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,932 - No, no, no. Lana. It's dry ice. - Ow! 190 00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:33,105 [BLEEPING] 191 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,938 Hurry, put your hands in the swamp. 192 00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:40,271 [LANA GROANS] 193 00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:42,781 [WHIMPERING] 194 00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:45,410 [SQUEALS] 195 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,344 How you doing, buddy? 196 00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:53,286 Because dry ice is something crazy, like, negative a hundred degrees. 197 00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:56,256 - I need you to not talk to me. - I know. 198 00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:59,863 And I know you're in a lot of pain, so just try to relax. 199 00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:02,125 Why are you still talk...? Ow! 200 00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:03,927 ARCHER: And say hi to Sister Morphine. 201 00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:05,501 Morphine? Damn it, I don't need... 202 00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:06,694 [SIGHS] 203 00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:08,100 - Yeah? - Yeah. 204 00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:09,934 That actually feels way better. 205 00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:12,076 Good, get up. You're sitting on the beer. 206 00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:16,639 All right, so wait a second. What are your three biggest fears? 207 00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:18,373 - Nope. - Come on. 208 00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:21,178 - No, hush, I'm trying to fish. - No, don't shoot the fish. 209 00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:24,845 - Come on, this is a very fragile ecosystem. - Too fragile to spare one trout? 210 00:10:25,057 --> 00:10:27,389 - No, but... - Or bass or whatever. What's in here? 211 00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:30,994 Nothing soon, if people like you keep destroying the environment. 212 00:10:31,197 --> 00:10:32,755 What? It's one lousy fish. 213 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:35,593 One lousy black rhino, one lousy Bengal tiger. 214 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:36,893 One lousy Lorax. 215 00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:39,833 Since when are you such a radical environmentalist? 216 00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:42,507 I'm not radical. Well, I mean not anymore. 217 00:10:42,708 --> 00:10:44,471 But back in the day... 218 00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:48,306 PROTESTERS [CHANTING]: Fur is murder! Fur is murder! Fur is murder! 219 00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:51,074 MAN: There's one. Get her. Go, go, go! 220 00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:53,615 How's it feel to be a murderer? 221 00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,680 Shall we find out? 222 00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:58,186 [PROTESTERS SCREAMING] 223 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:04,354 - Lady, you don't scare me. - Dear, this is a.44 Magnum. 224 00:11:05,197 --> 00:11:08,530 - You're really not scared, are you? - No. 225 00:11:09,468 --> 00:11:11,800 Then how would you like a job? 226 00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:14,837 Three weeks later I was in Tunisia, killing a different man. 227 00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:17,771 ARCHER: Heh, heh, heh. - And how and why is that funny? 228 00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:20,104 - I forgot about that afro. - You know what? 229 00:11:20,312 --> 00:11:23,611 You looked like Angela Davis had a lovechild with "Sweet" Lou Dunbar. 230 00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:26,114 - Shut up. - You. I'm trying to catch us some dinner. 231 00:11:26,318 --> 00:11:28,843 - Lf you'd brought enough food... - I wouldn't have beer. 232 00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:31,023 - Since I can't catch beer... - Or a fish. 233 00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:33,885 Yes, I can. Burt Reynolds is my spirit guide. 234 00:11:34,093 --> 00:11:36,857 - Did you say "man crush"? - I'm pretty sure it was "shut up." 235 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:40,189 What are your three biggest fears? 236 00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:42,196 Getting stuck on a boat with you three times. 237 00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:44,562 - Oh, come on. - Oh, here we go. 238 00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:47,170 Come here, fishy, fishy. 239 00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:52,003 And while you eat humble pie with a side of crow, Lana, I will be dining on trout. 240 00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:54,640 [ARCHER & LANA SCREAM] 241 00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:59,250 - What the hell is that? - What the hell does it look like, Lana? 242 00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:00,817 Shoot it, Archer! Shoot it! 243 00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:04,512 Oh, so now it's okay? What happened to your fragile ecosystem? 244 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:08,216 - Screw the damn ecosystem. Shoot! - You are such a hypocrite. 245 00:12:08,427 --> 00:12:10,224 I bet you probably eat veal. 246 00:12:10,429 --> 00:12:11,418 [GUNSHOTS] 247 00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:15,057 [WATER GURGLING] 248 00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:19,499 Did you see that? And hear that? What is that? What is that sound? 249 00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:22,037 LANA: Oh, you are shitting me. 250 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,765 How did you shoot the boat? 251 00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:26,774 Because I was bucking around like a rodeo clown in a barrel. 252 00:12:26,979 --> 00:12:29,379 - Well, did you at least hit the gator? - I don't know. 253 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,551 - I mean, maybe. - Great, so maybe he's wounded. 254 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,014 No, he's definitely wounded. 255 00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:37,553 Oh, right, I forgot he has an arrow sticking out of his head. 256 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,486 Yeah, I think that's what enraged him. 257 00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:43,560 And so now all 20 enraged feet of him is swimming around out there. 258 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:47,756 - In that inky black water. - Into which we are currently sinking. 259 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:49,298 Yeah, it's not ideal. 260 00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:52,699 - I mean, even if we had more shells. - You only brought two shells? 261 00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:55,738 - No, I brought shitloads, thank you. - Well, where are they? 262 00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:57,238 In the gear bags. 263 00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,137 With your guns. 264 00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,313 And everything else. 265 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:02,845 [LANA SIGHS] 266 00:13:03,048 --> 00:13:05,039 Still got the cooler though, so... 267 00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:06,309 [BOAT CREAKING] 268 00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:11,719 Thank God for small miracles, huh? 269 00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:13,682 Lana. 270 00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:15,393 Lana. 271 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,823 - Lana! - What? 272 00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:20,328 I said, thank God for small miracles. 273 00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:23,331 - I heard you. - I know. 274 00:13:23,836 --> 00:13:25,133 [CHUCKLES] 275 00:13:29,675 --> 00:13:30,664 [BOTTLE CAP POPS] 276 00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:33,310 - Yeah, why don't you have another one? - Well, somebody's got to. 277 00:13:33,512 --> 00:13:36,413 - Since you refuse to help... - You don't need help to get drunk. 278 00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:39,015 Oh, please, it takes more than some 3.2... 279 00:13:39,218 --> 00:13:42,244 Wow, six-percent beer. - To get Sterling Archer drunk. 280 00:13:42,454 --> 00:13:45,423 - Six percent, really? - Yeah, so would you lay off? 281 00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:48,218 There is a giant wounded alligator out there... 282 00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:50,918 ...not to mention a dangerous eco-terrorist. 283 00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:54,327 - Holy shit, totally forgot about him. - I didn't. 284 00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:56,933 More reason for you to get on board with my new plan. 285 00:13:57,136 --> 00:14:00,594 - Is it as idiotic as your other plan? - That's how brainstorming works, Lana. 286 00:14:00,806 --> 00:14:03,297 It's free-form, you come up with a lot of ideas. 287 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,637 Yeah, like using the pipeline to set the entire swamp on fire. 288 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:10,873 Which, yes, bad idea, but it got me thinking about chemical reactions. 289 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:14,746 - Like alcohol's effect on the brain? - No, like the reaction between... 290 00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:15,943 [BURPS] 291 00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:20,319 ...solid carbon dioxide, also known as dry ice, of which we have plenty... 292 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:25,725 ...and a fun, sexy little molecule I like to call dihydrogen monoxide. 293 00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:27,991 - Water? - Water. 294 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,567 Combine them in a sealed container and you've got yourself... 295 00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:35,467 - Some kind of dry-ice bomb? - Ugh! Yes, ruiner of explanations. 296 00:14:35,674 --> 00:14:38,905 - I was building to that, but yes. - Well, we got plenty of water. 297 00:14:39,111 --> 00:14:41,272 No, the swamp's too dirty, it's full of... 298 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,506 ...whatever alligators shit out, which I can only assume is people. 299 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:47,151 - They don't eat people. - They eat people all the time. 300 00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:49,184 - They don't... - Sarasota County, Florida. 301 00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:53,449 Chet Willard, age 16, swimming in the Oak River Canal, killed by an 11-footer. 302 00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:55,524 Two years ago, Chatham County, Georgia... 303 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:59,255 ...Ruth Baker, age 39, killed in her backyard by a 10-footer. 304 00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:01,626 - Archer. - Same year, Pinellas County, Florida... 305 00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:05,565 ...Walter Jakes, age 70, and his dog, killed by a 12-footer. 306 00:15:05,771 --> 00:15:08,205 - Three years ago, Dade County... - Archer! 307 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,806 What? 308 00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:12,500 What are your three biggest fears? Archer? 309 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,039 Alligators, by far the biggest. 310 00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:18,512 And so you've memorized every fatal alligator attack? 311 00:15:18,717 --> 00:15:22,153 Just in the U.S., I can't find any information on attacks in China. 312 00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:24,754 They only live here and China. Two different species. 313 00:15:24,957 --> 00:15:28,154 Chinese alligators are smaller, but their bellies are fully-armored... 314 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,851 ...so it kind of equals out. Can we change the subject? 315 00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:33,930 - Okay, what's your second biggest fear? - God, will you just...? 316 00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:35,725 It's crocodiles, okay. 317 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,961 - Do crocodiles even live here? - Not "here" here, in the Everglades. 318 00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:43,107 - That's, like, a thousand miles away. - Three years ago, they caught a 9-foot croc... 319 00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:46,369 ...in the surf at Myrtle Beach, so, you know, shit happens. 320 00:15:46,578 --> 00:15:48,478 Wow. Not sure I wanna know what your third... 321 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,205 - Brain aneurysm. - What? 322 00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:53,908 What does a brain aneurysm have to do with walking around in a swamp? 323 00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:57,350 Nothing. It can happen anywhere at any time, that's why it's terrifying. 324 00:15:57,556 --> 00:15:58,818 Oh, my God. Okay. 325 00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:03,085 - So if the gator-poop water is too dirty... - Yeah, we need distilled water. 326 00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,490 - Your plan include finding some? - Yes, but... 327 00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,359 - But what? - You're not gonna like it. 328 00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:08,999 Do we have to distill our pee? 329 00:16:09,201 --> 00:16:12,830 You can if you want, but I was just gonna use this. 330 00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:15,734 Wha...? There was bottled water in there the whole time? 331 00:16:15,941 --> 00:16:17,602 Yes. Sorry, I forgot. 332 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,244 You forgot. Thanks, idiot. 333 00:16:20,446 --> 00:16:23,176 What? You still would've burned your hands reaching in here. 334 00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:27,011 I hope an alligator attacks you at the exact moment you have a brain aneurysm. 335 00:16:27,219 --> 00:16:30,655 How could you even say that? That's like me saying I hope you get cancer. 336 00:16:30,856 --> 00:16:33,017 - What is wrong with you? - I obviously don't... 337 00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:37,457 ...but holy shit, Lana, I pour my heart out, and you just throw it right back in my face? 338 00:16:38,897 --> 00:16:40,159 - Sorry. - Well, you should be. 339 00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,596 That's... Wait, okay, what's your biggest fear? 340 00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:44,701 - Nope. - Come on, I told you mine. 341 00:16:44,903 --> 00:16:47,872 - I know. You lose. - I think your biggest fear is intimacy. 342 00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:51,304 When what you should be afraid of is falling in love with me again... 343 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,102 ...because of my awesomeness. 344 00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:55,371 - Check this out. - How do you light it? 345 00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:58,482 - Pressure builds until it explodes. - How long does that take? 346 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:01,380 Depends how much water. We're gonna need to dial it in. 347 00:17:01,587 --> 00:17:05,318 - You have no idea when that's gonna go off? - How could I? 348 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,253 [BOTTLE HISSING] 349 00:17:07,459 --> 00:17:08,551 Oh, shit. 350 00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:16,093 - Asshole. - Did it get you? 351 00:17:16,301 --> 00:17:18,235 - No. - Me neither. Wow. Again, small... 352 00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:20,064 Don't. 353 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:21,832 - Miracles. - Argh! 354 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,568 - How long was that? - Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to time it. 355 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,405 It's okay, I forgot to measure it. 356 00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:30,039 So we're both gonna need to do better. 357 00:17:30,249 --> 00:17:31,580 MALORY: Every single one. 358 00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:33,081 To hell with the tax credits. 359 00:17:33,285 --> 00:17:35,981 I want every last one of those low-flow toilets out. 360 00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:38,816 Dump them on the street with those ridiculous light bulbs. 361 00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:41,584 - Why do I have to carry the toilets? - You know why. 362 00:17:41,794 --> 00:17:44,228 Because of the things that come out of your body. 363 00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:47,524 Oh, shut up, Mr. Bigmouth, telling it we have a women's bathroom. 364 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,860 Where I better never catch you again. 365 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,503 PAM: Okay, jeez, hostile work environment. 366 00:17:52,704 --> 00:17:55,502 - Yeah. So everything's back to normal. KRIEGER: Is it? 367 00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:59,734 I told you lives were at risk. Now behold the horror you have wrought. 368 00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:02,470 Pam, if you're dumping stuff on the street, this can go. 369 00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:04,546 PAM: What is it? - Shattered dreams. 370 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,684 - Smells like rotten meat. - Also, yes. 371 00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:08,542 [EXPLOSION] 372 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,244 Yeah, there we go. 373 00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:13,550 - I think we got this recipe figured out. - That was pretty great. 374 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,090 - Duh. You shut up. - Shut up. 375 00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:18,730 I'll get dry ice in the rest of the bottles, you be ready with the water... 376 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:22,196 ...and we'll wait for that big, fat, stupid gator to come back. 377 00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:25,029 GRAY: Destroying his habitat isn't enough? - Wha...? 378 00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:27,535 I would've been here sooner, but you stole my boat. 379 00:18:27,739 --> 00:18:30,139 Do you not understand how reservations work? 380 00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:33,368 - Reserve this, Treebeard. - Oh, please, it's not even loaded. 381 00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:34,637 Wha...? Thanks, Lana. 382 00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:37,008 - Shut up. Hi, Josh. - Hello, Lana. 383 00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:38,205 You know each other? 384 00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:41,944 Josh was my Environmental Policy TA when I was in college. 385 00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:43,143 And her lover. 386 00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:53,955 - Also, yes. - Wait, I thought he was a Green Beret. 387 00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:55,997 I went to grad school on the G.I. Bill. 388 00:18:56,201 --> 00:18:58,431 That's when I realized I had to lead the fight... 389 00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,798 ...against the systematic rape of Mother Nature. 390 00:19:01,006 --> 00:19:03,304 But back then you just organized peaceful protests. 391 00:19:03,509 --> 00:19:05,238 - Like that day at the fur store. - Yeah. 392 00:19:05,444 --> 00:19:08,538 - Where you disappeared without a trace. - I guess I found my calling. 393 00:19:08,747 --> 00:19:11,716 As a hired gun for the military-industrial complex? 394 00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:14,647 A traitor to the cause of environmental protection? 395 00:19:14,853 --> 00:19:15,979 Me? What about you? 396 00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:20,022 - Always running around, blowing shit up. - Threatening our supply of lamp oil. 397 00:19:20,225 --> 00:19:24,525 Shut up. But, Josh, seriously, do you really think the ends justify such violent means? 398 00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:27,130 Yes, because this is a war. 399 00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:30,529 And victory will only come when Americans stop destroying the earth... 400 00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:35,469 ...just so they can drive bigger cars, build bigger houses and eat bigger food. 401 00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,609 - So, like, never. - Yeah. 402 00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:40,903 - Oh, my God, that's depressing. - Sorry. 403 00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,741 And I'm also sorry we can't let you blow up this pipeline. 404 00:19:43,949 --> 00:19:45,109 - I wasn't going to. - Then... 405 00:19:45,317 --> 00:19:50,152 I mean, I was, but I saw you with this idiot yelling on the plane about working for ISIS. 406 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:53,381 - So technically, I saved the pipeline. - Yeah, you're the best. 407 00:19:53,592 --> 00:19:56,026 Whatever, I win. Suck it, Samwise. 408 00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:59,288 - Archer. - So you need a lift back to land? 409 00:19:59,498 --> 00:20:02,023 - Yeah, let me just grab my cooler and... - Not you, ass. 410 00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:06,193 Lana, maybe we can grab dinner, see some Dixieland jazz? 411 00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:08,464 That sounds lovely. 412 00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:10,471 Oh, come on, are you kidding me? 413 00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:13,270 - You're really gonna leave me out here? LANA: Yup. 414 00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:15,207 GRAY: I like your new hairdo, by the way. 415 00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:18,747 LANA: Well, if you like the collar, you're gonna love the cuffs. 416 00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:20,850 Well, that's just great. 417 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,214 She gets dinner and Dixieland and laid... 418 00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:27,916 ...and I get mosquitoes and no beer and not laid. How could this get any...? 419 00:20:28,126 --> 00:20:29,150 [ALLIGATOR GROWLING] 420 00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:31,261 Let me finish. 421 00:20:31,463 --> 00:20:35,058 - Worse. Now... Okay, see? You ruined it. 422 00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:37,333 You ruined the moment. 423 00:21:13,639 --> 00:21:14,606 [English - US - SDH] 424 00:21:15,305 --> 00:22:15,661 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP