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KELLOGG: Mayday mayday mayday,
this is Commander Kellogg of
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00:00:05,415 --> 00:00:08,248
I.S.A. Space Station Horizon, [garbled]
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secure transmission [garbled]
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00:00:10,284 --> 00:00:11,283
Commander Drake.
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00:00:11,285 --> 00:00:15,352
Tony, the crew has [garbled],
and we are under [garbled].
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I say again, we are under [garbled].
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Croatoooooan!
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DRAKE: And that, Mrs. Archer...
MALORY: Ms.
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ARCHER: Don't.
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DRAKE: Ahh -- Ms. Archer, I beg your pardon --
ARCHER: Don't.
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DRAKE: -- that was the last
transmission from the Horizon.
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ARCHER: Which, obviously pretty vague.
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DRAKE: Vague?!
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You heard Commander Kellogg, he
said the Horizon is under attack!
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LANA: Well, under something...
ARCHER: He could've been saying underfinanced.
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DRAKE: What?
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MALORY: Sterling -- ARCHER: What, they're
always whining about needing more
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money for their boondocks.
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LANA: Doggles.
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ARCHER: What?
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DRAKE: You think space
exploration is a boondoggle?!
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LANA: Well c'mon, in this economy?
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DRAKE: Exactly!
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Now, more than ever, is when
we need to look to space
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for the solutions to
mankind's problems.
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In just two hundred years,
Earth's population will exceed
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her capacity to produce enough food.
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And even as the famines begin,
global war will erupt as fresh
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water becomes scarcer than gold.
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But if we begin now, using the lessons
learned aboard Space Station Horizon,
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a small group of brave
colonists, can terraform Mars.
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And mankind can finally slip
the surly bonds of Earth,
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to live forever among the stars!
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ARCHER: Yeah, Lana.
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LANA: Wh-?
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ARCHER: Jesus, read a
book once in your life.
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So where does ISIS fit in, Commander?
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DRAKE: Well -- MALORY: Well I think
that's a bit premature, until we discuss
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our fee structure.
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DRAKE: As to that, you
can name your price.
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LANA: Oh now they've got --
MALORY: Enough!
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Commander? As to our role?
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DRAKE: Horizon has an
international crew.
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American, German, Chinese, French--
ARCHER: Ba-dum-bump!
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Sorry, I thought "French"
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was a joke DRAKE: Is mutiny
funny to you, Mr. Archer?
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ARCHER: I dunno, maybe a mutiny of clowns...
DRAKE: Because I fear that one
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faction, led by radical
nationalists, has mutinied.
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LANA: But who?
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Which one?
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DRAKE: Well if I --
ARCHER: If he knew, he would tell us!
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MALORY: Read a book!
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DRAKE: And since I don't know which
faction is behind the mutiny --
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LANA: If there even was one...
DRAKE: -- I can't trust anyone at the I.S.A.
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Which is why I came to ISIS.
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MALORY: Because of our loyalty.
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DRAKE: Or lack thereof.
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MALORY: Or whatever.
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DRAKE: Because I need a small
cadre of highly trained agents
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to fly into orbit and help me
to retake control of Horizon.
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LANA: Nooope!
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ARCHER: Yeahhhp!
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LANA: Archer!
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ARCHER: Lana!
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LANA: He just said "highly-trained"!
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And last time I checked, none of us were
even lowly-trained to be astronauts!
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ARCHER: Well how hard could it be?
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DRAKE: Incredibly.
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MALORY: But since apparently money is no object...
DRAKE: The training schedule
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will have to be highly compressed,
because the shuttle Intrepid is
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launching in three days.
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And I won't lie to you, this
mission will be dangerous.
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ARCHER: Would you say we'll be
venturing into a zone of danger?
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DRAKE: Well yes, obviously.
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ARCHER: No, but -- how
would you phrase that?
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DRAKE: I -- the zone
will be one of danger?
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ARCHER: No, I mean say --
oh forget it, never mind.
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And you never mind and also shut up.
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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ARCHER: Oww!
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Jesus Krieger, that's the bone!
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KRIEGER: Oh, da mean doctor take widdle
baby's bwud, and widdle baby goes --
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owww!
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ARCHER: You're a baby.
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And astronaut training
sucks complete ass!
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Literally!
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What is the deal with all the enemas?!
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KRIEGER: Uh --
ARCHER: And why do you need so much blood?!
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And wait, now that I think about it --
DRAKE: Why is this man in
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the restricted area?!
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KRIEGER: Who, him?
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DRAKE: You.
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ARCHER: Wh-? Krieger!
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KRIEGER: Uh -- smoke bomb!
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DRAKE: And why aren't you
with the other trainees?
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ARCHER: I was told I had to
undergo a bunch of extremely
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invasive medical tests.
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DRAKE: Well normally you
would, but by our doctors.
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But since you're on such an
accelerated training schedule --
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ARCHER: Six enemas is a luxury
we can ill afford, got it.
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MALORY: Six?!
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ARCHER: Or -- who knows,
he put me under.
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Maybe twelve.
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DRAKE: Now you've wasted half a day,
so the other trainees are way
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ahead of you.
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ARCHER: Not for long they're not!
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[loud crash]
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DRAKE: Well he's eager,
I'll give him that.
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MALORY: Well, you inspire him.
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With all those medals
on that powerful chest.
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Your wife is a very lucky--
DRAKE: I'm a widower.
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MALORY: Oh!
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Difficult to meet people,
isn't it, in jobs like ours.
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I only mention it because I also happen
to be single -- DRAKE: Yes, I know.
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Excuse me.
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MALORY: I hope to God that was alcohol.
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LANA: No!
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ARCHER: Yes!
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LANA: Dammit Archer, it's--
ARCHER: It's my turn!
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Cyril! Cyril!
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Drake said lemme fly it!
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CYRIL: Cut it out, Archer!
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I'm landing!
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C'mon, baby, keep that nose up...
[SMASH]
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CYRIL: What the --?!
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SEXY ROBOTIC VOICE:
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Explosive decompression.
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Explosive decompression.
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ARCHER: Happy, Cyril?!
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You just destroyed Alderaan!
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LANA: Dammit, that was closer than any
of us have gotten to actually landing!
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ARCHER: A, because you're all crap, and
B, who cares, we're not gonna land it!
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CYRIL: What the hell --
DRAKE: -- is going on in here?!
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LANA: Archer --
ARCHER: Saw an electrical fire in the simulator,
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and knowing that my colleague's
life was in danger, I --
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DRAKE: You acted without thinking!
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LANA: As always.
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ARCHER: Not always...
DRAKE: Well, thank God you did -- LANA: Wh-?
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ARCHER: But almost always!
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DRAKE: -- because that's exactly
the kind of decisive action
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this mission calls for.
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You could all learn something from him.
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EVERYBODY: Oh my God...
DRAKE: Starting with a little training exercise we
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00:06:04,518 --> 00:06:10,455
lightheartedly call... The Vomit Comet!
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And if you're wondering why we call it that...
LANA: [huge retch]
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GILLETTE: Gagh!
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Aw, it's all in my hair!
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CYRIL: Oh Jeezy H. Petes!
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ARCHER: What the hell is
wrong with you, Lana?!
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DRAKE:... that's why we call it that.
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LANA: What possible reason, could there
be, to subject human beings to --
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SKEWWWWWWW...
ARCHER: Such mind-shattering awesomeness!
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DRAKE: The KC-135 flies in a parabolic arc--
ARCHER: Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo caaaaaaaaaares!
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DRAKE: -- which allows us to achieve
weightlessness for about thirty seconds.
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We'll do this twenty times --
ARCHER: Woooooo! Weightlessness!
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DRAKE: -- so you can get acquainted
with the sensation of being weightless.
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It takes some time getting used to, but --
CYRIL: Ow.
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DRAKE: Agent Kane.
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Are you alright?
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LANA: Yep.
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Yep yep yep.
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GILLETTE: What is going on with you?
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LANA: Do not like.
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GILLETTE: What're you, crazy?
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What's not to --
LANA: [huge retch]
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GILLETTE: Oh.
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CYRIL: No! Archer, noooo!
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ARCHER: Yeesss!
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CYRIL: Please don't do this!
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ARCHER: What's that?
Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the
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sound of the vawshiiiit!
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DRAKE: Looking good!
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Only nineteen more to go!
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LANA: Nineteen more times...
Until there was literally
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no more fluid left in my body.
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CYRIL: Yeah, and thanks
so much for that.
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LANA: Cyril...
ARCHER: She's not the one who kept riding you into it
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00:07:32,205 --> 00:07:33,571
holding your mouth open.
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CYRIL: Jeez, even in zero gravity you're
an assho -- ARCHER: You were saying?
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To the wet-towel wielding
survivor of fifteen years of
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boarding school locker rooms?
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LANA: Wait, fifteen?
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ARCHER: Or -- whatever,
the normal number.
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LANA: Twelve?!
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00:07:46,287 --> 00:07:48,053
DRAKE: Yes, we will
launch in twelve hours.
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We received another
transmission from the Horizon.
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They can't wait.
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LANA: But we haven't
been trained properly!
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ARCHER: To what, wear a seat belt?
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00:07:54,828 --> 00:07:56,728
Actually, is it a
five-point harness, or...?
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DRAKE: I admit this isn't an ideal scenario --
LANA: Speaking of,
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00:08:00,099 --> 00:08:02,599
what's the scenario when
we get to the Horizon?
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00:08:02,601 --> 00:08:06,069
We don't have a tactical plan, we don't--
DRAKE: We'll have plenty of time
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00:08:06,071 --> 00:08:07,704
to discuss our plan of
action during the flight.
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00:08:07,706 --> 00:08:08,839
LANA: But --
MALORY: Lana!
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00:08:08,841 --> 00:08:09,639
What has gotten in to you?
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00:08:09,641 --> 00:08:13,243
CYRIL: More like what got out of her...
GILLETTE: Sir, I'm not sure Lana-
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00:08:13,245 --> 00:08:16,179
sorry honey - is physically
capable of spaceflight.
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LANA: Ray!
200
00:08:17,516 --> 00:08:19,116
Actually I may not be cut out for it.
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00:08:19,118 --> 00:08:24,441
DRAKE: I'm sorry to hear that, Agent Kane...
Because you're going.
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00:08:29,997 --> 00:08:36,442
ARCHER: [chuckling] To a zone,
which is one of danger.
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SEXY ROBOTIC VOICE:
T-minus ninety seconds.
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00:08:44,088 --> 00:08:46,555
DRAKE: Roger, Control,
all systems are go.
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00:08:46,557 --> 00:08:48,356
Next stop, Horizon.
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00:08:48,358 --> 00:08:49,690
Okay. Archer.
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00:08:49,692 --> 00:08:51,959
ARCHER: Sorry, are you talking to me?
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00:08:51,961 --> 00:08:54,262
Or to her, who why is she here?!
209
00:08:54,264 --> 00:08:55,930
MALORY: Because Tony invited me!
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00:08:55,932 --> 00:08:56,798
ARCHER: Tony?!
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00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:00,068
What, you trying to get my mother
into the Million-Mile High Club?!
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00:09:00,070 --> 00:09:00,902
MALORY: Sterling!
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00:09:00,904 --> 00:09:02,971
DRAKE: Archer...
GILLETTE: Would you calm the hell down?!
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00:09:02,973 --> 00:09:03,771
ARCHER: I am calm!
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00:09:03,773 --> 00:09:04,906
And I'm also outta here!
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00:09:04,908 --> 00:09:06,974
DRAKE: Take your hands
off that harness.
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00:09:06,976 --> 00:09:07,675
ARCHER: Make me!
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00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:09,410
Oh, and just so you know?!
219
00:09:09,412 --> 00:09:12,079
She -- Can't breathe.
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00:09:12,081 --> 00:09:14,314
MISSION CONTROL: Uh, Flight,
we're showing suit number two
221
00:09:14,316 --> 00:09:15,516
with an oh-two malfunction.
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00:09:15,518 --> 00:09:18,351
DRAKE: Double-check that, Control,
I'm showing green across the board.
223
00:09:18,353 --> 00:09:19,686
MISSION CONTROL: Stand by.
224
00:09:19,688 --> 00:09:22,822
DRAKE: Roger, standing by.
225
00:09:22,824 --> 00:09:24,457
Doo do doooo...
MALORY: Tony, please!
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He'll behave!
227
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:26,459
Won't he!
228
00:09:26,461 --> 00:09:27,726
ARCHER: Ip.
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00:09:27,728 --> 00:09:32,698
DRAKE: Excellent... Because I won't-
I can't - let anyone jeopardize the
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00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:34,067
success of this mission.
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00:09:34,069 --> 00:09:37,237
MISSION CONTROL: Flight, oh-two
on suit two is showing normal.
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00:09:37,239 --> 00:09:38,706
But uh, keep an eye on it.
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00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:41,409
DRAKE: Oh, I will.
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00:09:41,411 --> 00:09:43,444
ARCHER: Hooray...
DRAKE: Resume countdown, Control.
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00:09:43,446 --> 00:09:44,579
MISSION CONTROL: Roger, Flight.
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00:09:44,581 --> 00:09:47,916
SEXY ROBOTIC VOICE: T-minus five... four...
DRAKE: Exciting, isn't it?
237
00:09:47,918 --> 00:09:49,684
SEXY ROBOTIC VOICE:
Three.
238
00:09:49,686 --> 00:09:50,318
Two.
239
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:50,885
One.
240
00:09:50,887 --> 00:09:51,753
DRAKE: I think it is.
241
00:09:51,755 --> 00:09:52,720
SEXY ROBOTIC VOICE:
242
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,121
Ignition.
243
00:09:54,123 --> 00:09:59,059
MISSION CONTROL: Liftoff.
244
00:09:59,061 --> 00:10:01,562
DRAKE: Just relax, and
rely on your training!
245
00:10:01,564 --> 00:10:03,497
LANA: Which we didn't have!
246
00:10:03,499 --> 00:10:05,599
DRAKE: Because Phase
Two's a little rough!
247
00:10:05,601 --> 00:10:06,667
ARCHER: Phase Two?!
248
00:10:06,669 --> 00:10:08,568
What's Phase -- [BOOOOM!]
249
00:10:08,570 --> 00:10:16,142
EVERYBODY: Aaaaaaghhhhh!
250
00:10:16,144 --> 00:10:17,944
DRAKE: That was Phase Two.
251
00:10:17,946 --> 00:10:19,546
LANA: Did not like.
252
00:10:19,548 --> 00:10:21,348
DRAKE: Wait'll you see Phase Three.
253
00:10:21,350 --> 00:10:23,217
EVERYBODY: What?
254
00:10:23,219 --> 00:10:25,587
DRAKE: I'm kidding, there
is no Phase Three.
255
00:10:25,589 --> 00:10:26,854
Just a little space-humor.
256
00:10:26,856 --> 00:10:28,523
ARCHER: Yeah, funny stuff.
257
00:10:28,525 --> 00:10:30,592
DRAKE: Right?
258
00:10:30,594 --> 00:10:33,795
Right, then... I want to brief you
all on we can expect when we dock
259
00:10:33,797 --> 00:10:34,996
with Horizon.
260
00:10:34,998 --> 00:10:37,432
LANA: Ugh, can we expect a pharmacy?
261
00:10:37,434 --> 00:10:39,167
ARCHER: Lana, it's not a strip mall.
262
00:10:39,169 --> 00:10:41,102
Although I assume there's a bar?
263
00:10:41,104 --> 00:10:41,770
DRAKE: A bar?
264
00:10:41,772 --> 00:10:43,705
ARCHER: Or whatever, cantina.
265
00:10:43,707 --> 00:10:44,873
DRAKE: Ah... No.
266
00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:46,775
Please pay attention.
267
00:10:46,777 --> 00:10:50,479
We'll dock here, move forward on foot
toward Horizon's bridge, and --
268
00:10:50,481 --> 00:10:51,580
CYRIL: Wait, on foot?
269
00:10:51,582 --> 00:10:54,349
DRAKE: Horizon has artificial gravity.
270
00:10:54,351 --> 00:10:57,019
See how it spins on its
longitudinal axis?
271
00:10:57,021 --> 00:10:59,321
ARCHER: Lana, look at it spin.
272
00:10:59,323 --> 00:11:02,625
DRAKE: When we reach the bridge,
we'll retake control of Horizon.
273
00:11:02,627 --> 00:11:06,695
But we can expect heavy resistance,
I'm sure the mutineers are armed.
274
00:11:06,697 --> 00:11:08,764
ARCHER: With what,
slide rules and Tang?
275
00:11:08,766 --> 00:11:13,302
DRAKE: The M-41 Mark Two plasma-pulse
rifle with concussion grenade launcher.
276
00:11:13,304 --> 00:11:14,637
EVERYBODY: Oh shit!
277
00:11:14,639 --> 00:11:18,708
DRAKE: On "kill" mode, the M-41
fires lethal plasma ammunition.
278
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:21,244
On "stun" it fires an ion pulse.
279
00:11:21,246 --> 00:11:22,778
Similar to an EMP.
280
00:11:22,780 --> 00:11:24,981
ARCHER: And can it be
fired with an erection?
281
00:11:24,983 --> 00:11:25,381
MALORY: Ugh.
282
00:11:25,383 --> 00:11:26,849
LANA: Archer! Muzzle?!
283
00:11:26,851 --> 00:11:28,417
ARCHER: Relax, it's on stun Lana.
284
00:11:28,419 --> 00:11:29,252
DRAKE: Careful.
285
00:11:29,254 --> 00:11:34,624
Even on stun it can --
ARCHER: Oops.
286
00:11:34,626 --> 00:11:35,058
DRAKE: Clear!
287
00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:37,360
LANA: Clear! GILLETTE: Clear!
288
00:11:37,362 --> 00:11:39,963
CYRIL: Owwwwwww!
289
00:11:39,965 --> 00:11:44,434
DRAKE: Whew! As I was saying, it's possible
for the EMP to stop a man's heart.
290
00:11:44,436 --> 00:11:45,835
ARCHER: So "stun,"
291
00:11:45,837 --> 00:11:47,737
maybe a bit of a misnomer.
292
00:11:47,739 --> 00:11:50,607
CYRIL: Dammit, Archer...
ARCHER: I'm not the one who was all sweaty!
293
00:11:50,609 --> 00:11:54,244
DRAKE: Mr. Archer, that's twice you've
jeopardized the success of this mission!
294
00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:55,679
There will not be a third!
295
00:11:55,681 --> 00:11:58,715
MISSION CONTROL: Uh, Flight,
we have a problem...
296
00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:03,387
ARCHER: Well don't look at me...
DRAKE: My God, on this trajectory we'll miss
297
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:04,288
Horizon!
298
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:05,422
Control, what happened?!
299
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:10,227
MISSION CONTROL: Burn rates were
good, Flight, uh... stand by.
300
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:13,464
Uh, Flight, we're showing that
you are grossly overweight.
301
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:14,632
PAM: Oh, for --!
302
00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,466
I wouldn't say grossly!
303
00:12:16,468 --> 00:12:17,734
CHERYL/CAROL: I would.
304
00:12:17,736 --> 00:12:22,539
DRAKE: I would be well within my rights
to jettison both of you into space!
305
00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:23,740
MALORY: Well within them!
306
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:24,374
LANA: Malory!
307
00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:25,141
DRAKE: However!
308
00:12:25,143 --> 00:12:30,513
For uh, numerous reasons - one being
this ship can't actually do that -
309
00:12:30,515 --> 00:12:32,148
I've decided take you with us.
310
00:12:32,150 --> 00:12:33,283
EVERYBODY: [Sigh of relief]
311
00:12:33,285 --> 00:12:35,319
DRAKE: But I want to
know how you got aboard.
312
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,054
PAM: Whaddya mean, how?
313
00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:42,394
Mr. Ar --
ARCHER: Yeah so that safety's tricky, huh?
314
00:12:42,396 --> 00:12:42,828
DRAKE: Clear!
315
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:44,997
LANA: Clear! GILLETTE: Clear!
316
00:12:44,999 --> 00:12:47,533
PAM: Owwwwwww!
317
00:12:47,535 --> 00:12:52,638
CHERYL/CAROL: Awesome...
PAM: Son of a shitsnackin whore... DRAKE: Mr. Figgis!
318
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:56,742
Lock that man in the cargo hold.
319
00:12:56,744 --> 00:12:57,543
ARCHER: Who, me?
320
00:12:57,545 --> 00:12:59,278
CYRIL: Aye freaking aye.
321
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,546
DRAKE: Ms. Archer.
322
00:13:00,548 --> 00:13:03,215
MALORY: In case I need
to sterilize something?
323
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:04,416
DRAKE: Get strapped in.
324
00:13:04,418 --> 00:13:07,051
Agent Gillette, monitor
this woman's vital signs.
325
00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:08,753
Agent Kane, come with me.
326
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:11,322
I may need some help
getting us to Horizon.
327
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:15,360
So that we don't die writhing in
agony when we run out of oxygen.
328
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,830
ARCHER: Yeah, been there, no picnic.
329
00:13:17,832 --> 00:13:20,266
Speaking of, great for picnics.
330
00:13:20,268 --> 00:13:22,869
The tofu teriyaki, not so much.
331
00:13:22,871 --> 00:13:24,938
PAM: There's teriyaki?
332
00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:25,839
CYRIL: No!
333
00:13:25,841 --> 00:13:27,141
ARCHER: Cyril, c'mon, lemme out.
334
00:13:27,143 --> 00:13:27,775
CYRIL: No, you jerk!
335
00:13:27,777 --> 00:13:30,611
You shoot me in the heart with a
space-blaster... ARCHER: Wh-?!
336
00:13:30,613 --> 00:13:32,680
You're still mad about that?!
337
00:13:32,682 --> 00:13:36,984
CYRIL: Not to mention whatever idiot
reason you had for smuggling Pam on board!
338
00:13:36,986 --> 00:13:38,486
GILLETTE: You're screwin
him, aren'tcha?
339
00:13:38,488 --> 00:13:41,021
PAM: Whaaaaaaaat?
340
00:13:41,023 --> 00:13:41,622
Yes.
341
00:13:41,624 --> 00:13:42,456
CYRIL: No!
342
00:13:42,458 --> 00:13:45,693
Because if we don't die, for all
I care you can rot in there!
343
00:13:45,695 --> 00:13:48,095
ARCHER: Cyril?! Cyril!
344
00:13:48,097 --> 00:13:57,038
Well good luck fighting a bunch of
whatever, space-pirates without me.
345
00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,007
[BEEP] you, space.
346
00:14:05,388 --> 00:14:10,425
DRAKE: Come on baby,
just a few more seconds!
347
00:14:10,427 --> 00:14:12,260
Damn it!
348
00:14:12,790 --> 00:14:14,356
I don't know if that was
a long enough burn!
349
00:14:14,358 --> 00:14:17,493
Agent Kane, I need a readout!
350
00:14:17,495 --> 00:14:19,663
For God's sake, woman, Dramamine!
351
00:14:19,665 --> 00:14:22,499
LANA: It makes me sleepy...
CYRIL: I think we're okay, sir!
352
00:14:22,501 --> 00:14:23,834
DRAKE: Thank God.
353
00:14:23,836 --> 00:14:25,769
Because we're out of fuel.
354
00:14:25,771 --> 00:14:26,403
CHERYL/CAROL: What?!
355
00:14:26,405 --> 00:14:28,139
How are we gonna get back to Earth?!
356
00:14:28,141 --> 00:14:30,041
DRAKE: There is fuel.
357
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,075
On Horizon.
358
00:14:31,077 --> 00:14:33,010
CHERYL/CAROL: Well I didn't know that.
359
00:14:33,012 --> 00:14:34,612
DRAKE: The flight computer
will dock the ship.
360
00:14:34,614 --> 00:14:35,980
Assemble the boarding party.
361
00:14:35,982 --> 00:14:38,183
CHERYL/CAROL: Nor was I told
there would be a party.
362
00:14:38,185 --> 00:14:39,284
Lana, what're you wearing?
363
00:14:39,286 --> 00:14:41,920
DRAKE: Bio-matrix composite body armor.
364
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:43,489
Effective against small-arms fire.
365
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,658
And we need all the help we can get.
366
00:14:45,660 --> 00:14:47,260
GILLETTE: Since there's
only four of us.
367
00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:49,829
CYRIL: Yeah, that seems kinda... few.
368
00:14:49,831 --> 00:14:51,864
PAM: Heck, if you need some help, I'll --
DRAKE: No!
369
00:14:51,866 --> 00:14:54,834
We can't jeopardize the women!
370
00:14:54,836 --> 00:14:55,734
LANA: Cough.
371
00:14:55,736 --> 00:14:57,602
MALORY: Well not you...
DRAKE: No, no, no, Agent Kane,
372
00:14:57,604 --> 00:15:01,939
I'm afraid your particular skill-set
outweighs your --
373
00:15:01,941 --> 00:15:04,041
SEXY ROBOTIC VOICE: Docking complete.
374
00:15:04,043 --> 00:15:05,209
CHERYL/CAR: Is that a ghost?
375
00:15:05,211 --> 00:15:05,743
PAM: Nope.
376
00:15:05,745 --> 00:15:07,478
DRAKE: Boarding party,
into the airlock.
377
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:08,245
SEXY ROBOTIC VOICE:
378
00:15:08,247 --> 00:15:09,714
Gravity engaged.
379
00:15:09,716 --> 00:15:12,717
DRAKE: Weapons on stun, fast
and hard to the bridge.
380
00:15:12,719 --> 00:15:14,619
And remember, these are mutineers.
381
00:15:14,621 --> 00:15:24,330
Even if they try to say --
CYRIL: Suppressing fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire!
382
00:15:24,332 --> 00:15:25,898
DRAKE: Otherwise.
383
00:15:25,900 --> 00:15:26,699
Just follow me.
384
00:15:26,701 --> 00:15:29,502
LANA: And try not to
shoot me in the awshit!
385
00:15:29,504 --> 00:15:30,370
GILLETTE: What the hell.
386
00:15:30,372 --> 00:15:31,571
LANA: Is wrong with me?
387
00:15:31,573 --> 00:15:33,473
DRAKE: It's the artificial gravity!
388
00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,208
You have to readjust to it!
389
00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:38,844
LANA: I'll get my inner ear right on that...
DRAKE: We don't have time
390
00:15:38,846 --> 00:15:40,546
for this, they're --
HORIZON DRONE: There they are!
391
00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:41,280
Get 'em, get 'em!
392
00:15:41,282 --> 00:15:41,980
Drop your weapons!
393
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:43,114
Drop your weapons!
394
00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:50,287
CYRIL: Suppressing -- So does
this run on batteries, or...?
395
00:15:50,289 --> 00:15:54,392
DRAKE: Fiiiiire!
396
00:15:54,394 --> 00:15:58,230
EVERYBODY: Get some! Get some!
397
00:15:58,232 --> 00:15:59,731
DRAKE: We're pinned down!
398
00:15:59,733 --> 00:16:00,933
LANA: Really?
399
00:16:00,935 --> 00:16:03,469
CHERYL/CAROL: You don't
think I could rock this?
400
00:16:03,471 --> 00:16:07,339
MALORY: Couple things...
One, I don't know what that means.
401
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:10,410
And two... hang on.
402
00:16:10,412 --> 00:16:12,512
Hang on.
403
00:16:12,514 --> 00:16:15,848
Hang on.
404
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:22,020
Hang on.
405
00:16:22,022 --> 00:16:25,823
And two, you obviously don't know
what "boarding party" means.
406
00:16:25,825 --> 00:16:30,094
CHERYL/CAROL: Who am I, sixteenth-century
female Irish pirate Gráinne O'Malley?
407
00:16:30,096 --> 00:16:32,596
Or her sole female descendant!
408
00:16:32,598 --> 00:16:33,797
ARCHER: I'm sorry.
409
00:16:33,799 --> 00:16:34,331
PAM: For what?
410
00:16:34,333 --> 00:16:36,800
Space-blastering me in
the frickin tits?!
411
00:16:36,802 --> 00:16:38,969
Or tricking me into that
fart-locker to get blasted into
412
00:16:38,971 --> 00:16:44,375
outer goddamn space on the off
chance you might wanna bang me!
413
00:16:44,377 --> 00:16:47,178
ARCHER: Both I guess, look --
PAM: After you blew me off
414
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,815
for Katya the big-titted cyborg!
415
00:16:49,817 --> 00:16:52,884
Littleiss, uh...
ARCHER: R2-double-D2?
416
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:53,852
PAM: Nice.
417
00:16:53,854 --> 00:16:56,988
ARCHER: Thanks, and I'm sorry,
but you gotta let me out, Pam,
418
00:16:56,990 --> 00:16:59,357
they're fighting
space-pirates out there!
419
00:16:59,359 --> 00:17:01,325
With Cyril!
420
00:17:01,327 --> 00:17:03,027
CYRIL: It's supposed to fire.
421
00:17:03,029 --> 00:17:04,562
What is wrong with you?
422
00:17:04,564 --> 00:17:06,464
ARCHER: And Lana can't even stand up!
423
00:17:06,466 --> 00:17:09,700
LANA: You idiot, just
reset the -- unghff!
424
00:17:09,702 --> 00:17:12,436
GILLETTE: Jesus, like a
dog in a station wagon.
425
00:17:12,438 --> 00:17:13,770
DRAKE: No, no!
426
00:17:13,772 --> 00:17:15,339
We're losing the beachhead!
427
00:17:15,341 --> 00:17:17,207
ARCHER: They're running
out of time, Pam!
428
00:17:17,209 --> 00:17:24,648
PAM: Oh, alright...
ARCHER: That being said... quickie?
429
00:17:24,650 --> 00:17:27,450
PAM: Meh.
430
00:17:27,452 --> 00:17:28,417
Whew!
431
00:17:28,419 --> 00:17:29,685
Okay, good luck.
432
00:17:29,687 --> 00:17:31,587
ARCHER: Thanks, normally
I'd say I don't need it,
433
00:17:31,589 --> 00:17:33,456
but I can barely feel my legs.
434
00:17:33,458 --> 00:17:35,458
PAM: I call that the MOAB.
435
00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:37,093
It stands for --
ARCHER: I know!
436
00:17:37,095 --> 00:17:40,229
What it stands for, I was there,
please don't say it out loud.
437
00:17:40,231 --> 00:17:48,104
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to...
Kick some space-pirate ass!
438
00:17:48,106 --> 00:17:48,972
Woooooo!
439
00:17:48,974 --> 00:17:49,806
EVERYBODY: Archer?!
440
00:17:49,808 --> 00:17:50,707
ARCHER: Hang on?
441
00:17:50,709 --> 00:17:52,009
Yes, Archer, duh.
442
00:17:52,011 --> 00:17:56,314
And if you're done doing each other's hair, let's --
DRAKE: Let's retake the shiiiiip!
443
00:17:56,316 --> 00:17:59,117
ARCHER: Or just run around
interrupting people.
444
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,019
DRAKE: Gagh! I'm hit, I'm hit!
445
00:18:01,021 --> 00:18:05,290
ARCHER: Oh, for -- Do I
have to do everything?
446
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:08,593
He asked, intending to be facetious!
447
00:18:08,595 --> 00:18:09,294
LANA: I'm sorry!
448
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:10,929
I don't know what's wrong with me!
449
00:18:10,931 --> 00:18:13,130
ARCHER: Besides suffering
from gigantism?!
450
00:18:13,132 --> 00:18:13,898
LANA: Shut up.
451
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:14,598
DRAKE: The bridge!
452
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,733
We have to make it to the --
ARCHER: The bridge, yes, I heard you!
453
00:18:17,735 --> 00:18:20,068
So unless we're going the wrong way...!
454
00:18:20,070 --> 00:18:21,436
DRAKE: Uhh... oh.
455
00:18:21,438 --> 00:18:22,370
No, that's it right there.
456
00:18:22,372 --> 00:18:24,372
ARCHER: Then shut up! God!
457
00:18:24,374 --> 00:18:25,372
Okay, now what?
458
00:18:25,374 --> 00:18:26,306
You can un-shut up.
459
00:18:26,308 --> 00:18:30,009
DRAKE: The com-link, by the door...
Commander Kellogg?
460
00:18:30,011 --> 00:18:30,709
It's Drake!
461
00:18:30,711 --> 00:18:31,677
KELLOGG: Tony?!
462
00:18:31,679 --> 00:18:34,212
ARCHER: "Tony?!"
463
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:36,281
KELLOGG: Oh my God,
am I glad to see you!
464
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:37,749
We couldn't have held out much longer!
465
00:18:37,751 --> 00:18:40,251
DRAKE: Well, we got here
as fast as we could.
466
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:41,285
KELLOGG: My God, you're wounded.
467
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:45,189
Put him here, please, and we'll take those...
ARCHER: Uh, oh.
468
00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:48,525
Yeah, here you go...
KELLOGG: Oh dear, are you wounded too?
469
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,927
LANA: No, just --
DRAKE: Just a little space-sickness.
470
00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:52,662
But eventually she'll get acclimated.
471
00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:54,464
LANA: I -- eventually?
472
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:57,433
KELLOGG: Yes, she's strong,
good breeding stock.
473
00:18:57,435 --> 00:18:58,301
LANA: Wh-?! Hey!
474
00:18:58,303 --> 00:19:01,571
ARCHER: Whoa, Charles
Benedict Davenport.
475
00:19:01,573 --> 00:19:03,873
Uh, the father of eugenics.
476
00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:05,241
Seriously guys, read a book.
477
00:19:05,243 --> 00:19:09,812
DRAKE: And two more on the Intrepid,
stowaways, almost as good as her.
478
00:19:09,814 --> 00:19:10,779
KELLOGG: Two more?!
479
00:19:10,781 --> 00:19:14,182
Then we can populate Mars
even faster than we'd hoped!
480
00:19:14,184 --> 00:19:15,083
CYRIL: What? GILLETTE: What?
481
00:19:15,085 --> 00:19:16,784
LANA: Did you say Mars?!
482
00:19:16,786 --> 00:19:20,287
ARCHER: Oh now your ears --
wait, why did you say Mars?
483
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:23,391
HORIZON DRONE: Don't you see?
484
00:19:23,393 --> 00:19:26,580
They're the mutineers!
485
00:19:31,766 --> 00:19:37,195
DRAKE: Welcome to the... Danger Zone!
486
00:19:37,784 --> 00:19:48,309
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com