1 00:00:03,045 --> 00:00:05,630 Come on, Cyril, beat it. Get out of here. 2 00:00:05,798 --> 00:00:08,299 This meeting is for field agents only. 3 00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:10,134 Which brings me to item one. 4 00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:14,681 We don't have enough field agents to effectively run our covert operations... 5 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,975 ...especially since this one went and got himself paralyzed. 6 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,852 Yeah, that's me, Mr. Selfish. 7 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,729 More like "Ms." 8 00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:24,982 Anyway, effective immediately, I'm promoting Cyril to field agent. 9 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,068 What? That sounds great. Best of luck. 10 00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:28,403 Where are you going? 11 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:31,906 Sorry, I gotta get back to Earth before the Stargate closes. 12 00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:33,116 Get back in here. 13 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:34,867 Mother, the chevrons are locking. 14 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:39,664 And Cyril is utterly, laughably unqualified to be a field agent. 15 00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:41,791 Some offense. Uh, some taken. 16 00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:44,335 None of you were qualified when you first started. 17 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,754 And you've already given Cyril some training. 18 00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:49,048 Which ended with a dead hooker in my trunk. 19 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,259 No, it didn't. It easily could have. 20 00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:52,677 Malory, you can't just... 21 00:00:52,845 --> 00:00:58,099 End of discussion. And since this meeting is for field agents only... 22 00:00:58,267 --> 00:00:59,892 You're taking me out of the field? 23 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:03,312 Well, unless we need someone to go undercover as a shopping cart. 24 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:11,404 This is Román Calzado, the notorious Colombian drug lord. 25 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,699 And hopefully an infusion of much-needed capital. 26 00:01:14,867 --> 00:01:16,409 Since when are we bounty hunters? 27 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:20,413 Since the DEA's budget was gutted by all those federal spending cutbacks. 28 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,082 Which is ridiculous, given the current economy. 29 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,835 The most efficient way to decrease the budget deficit... 30 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:28,588 ...is to increase tax revenue, through, um... 31 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,674 Cyril, don't make me regret this decision. 32 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:33,885 Sorry. And if you were in my tax bracket... 33 00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:36,512 ...you wouldn't be spouting that socialist propaganda. 34 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,640 Or wearing such shitty clothes. Or doing such shitty missions. 35 00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:42,935 What are you talking about? The reward is a million dollars! 36 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,439 Exactly, and how many drug users could be treated with that money? 37 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,024 Who cares? Seriously? 38 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:51,152 They'd just go buy a million dollars' worth of crack with it. 39 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:54,697 You don't give them the money. You can't. They'll blow it on crack. 40 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,240 Oh, my God. No, they won't... 41 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,576 ...because it'll be in the ISIS bank account. 42 00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:01,871 Because you're going to get Calzado, dead or alive. 43 00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:05,249 Cyril, dress appropriately. You'll be helicoptering into the jungle. 44 00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:09,086 Cool. Oh, and this whole thing reminds me. 45 00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:14,801 Pam, 9 a.m. Friday morning, all ISIS employees will take a drug test. 46 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:16,969 Okay. 47 00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:22,350 And knock off that damn beatboxing! 48 00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:23,726 Transform. 49 00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:24,894 Ugh. 50 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:27,396 Last week it was freestyling. 51 00:03:02,558 --> 00:03:05,309 Yes, this LZ, you dumbass. 52 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:10,898 Where we are right now, in 24 hours. And you better be here! 53 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,484 What a dick. 54 00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:16,279 Well, he's probably just under a lot of stress... 55 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:20,199 ...since he's our only way out of this stupid jungle, dumbass. 56 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,952 Seriously. Thanks, ghost of Teddy Roosevelt. 57 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,079 Ms. Archer said dress for the tropics. 58 00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:27,248 Um, tropics or Busch Gardens? 59 00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:28,833 Hey, you know what? Yes. 60 00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:32,044 Uh, Heckle, Jeckle, between us and Calzado's fortified compound... 61 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:36,591 ...there's about 10 klicks ofjungle that I just assume is one giant booby-trap showroom. 62 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:40,803 So shut your dickholes, get your gear, shut up again, and start walking. 63 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,221 Any questions? 64 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:45,141 Cyril. 65 00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:47,310 What's a "klick"? Ugh. 66 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:50,271 You say that all the time. I never know what you're talking about. 67 00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:53,816 - I'm assuming it's a sound of some sort. Nuh-uh! 68 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:57,361 Swear to God, first thing Friday morning, we all gotta pee in a cup. 69 00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,363 Which I can't even do, y'all. 70 00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:02,658 Cleaning out my freezer last week, I found a big bag of skank. 71 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,994 I guess I brought it back from Jamaica, but... 72 00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,871 But it's just a pot test, right? 73 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:09,206 No, stupid. All drugs. 74 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:10,416 Oh, shit. 75 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,335 I call them groovy bears. 76 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,670 How about you, Ironside? You rolling dirty? 77 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:15,963 Um... 78 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,510 Possibly. Well, then we're all screwed. 79 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,180 Talking about the drug test, huh? Duh. 80 00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:29,810 Well, what if I told you I had a way to beat any drug test in the world? 81 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:32,021 Are you telling us that? 82 00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:34,023 Yes. Well? What is it? 83 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:37,276 I call it Krieger-Kleanse. It's an herbal tea, all-natural... 84 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:41,781 ...and it's guaranteed to rid your body of all traces of any illicit substance. 85 00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:44,408 Well, here. Give me, give me, give it! Ah, ah, ah. 86 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:49,205 I literally... Figuratively scoured the globe for these special herbs... 87 00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,666 ...at no small expense to myself. 88 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,251 Ugh! How much? Hundred bucks each. 89 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,379 Oh, come on! That's more than the drugs! 90 00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:59,882 Or you can save your money and try your luck in the current job market. 91 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:03,886 Non-sequential bills, please. 92 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:06,097 Well, then why not just say "kilometer"? 93 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:08,724 Because shut up. Oh, jungle zing. 94 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:12,228 So it says here that Calzado isn't even the head of the whole operation. 95 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:14,397 Cyril. He's actually just a distributor... 96 00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:17,233 ...for somebody named "La Sombra." La sombra. The Shade? 97 00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:20,653 Cyril. No, I bet in this context, the "Shadow." 98 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,364 Cyril! Ooh! Hey, what's your problem? 99 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:26,867 My problem is I don't want a thousand steel balls to shred my genitals. 100 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:29,412 Huh? Claymore mine full of steel balls... 101 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:32,707 ...that fly 1000 meters, or one klick, a second... 102 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,418 ...right at dick level. Jeezy Petes. 103 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,546 Or ass level, which in your case would also take off your head. 104 00:05:38,714 --> 00:05:42,591 So quit reading and pay attention. But there's a lot of useful stuff in here. 105 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:46,929 Organizational charts, inventory and cash-flow analyses, spreadsheets. 106 00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,890 Of what, possible outcomes with a 20-sided die? 107 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,851 You don't need a spreadsheet for that. 108 00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:55,146 And you don't need one to know you'll suck at being a field agent. 109 00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:56,731 So why do you wanna be one? 110 00:05:56,898 --> 00:06:00,776 Oh. I don't know, I just wanna feel like I'm a part of the team, you know? 111 00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:03,654 I guess I wanna feel like I matter more. 112 00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:07,283 Wow, not afraid to dump out your purse in the jungle, huh? 113 00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,577 Okay, Cyril, then lesson 1A: 114 00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:14,165 In a potentially hostile environment like this, the key is total situational awareness. 115 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,667 Okay. You look, you listen, you smell... 116 00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:18,586 ...and you remember to check your 6. 117 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:21,839 My six what? Is that my gun? The old six-shooter? 118 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,800 Oh, my God. O'clock, Cyril. It means behind you. 119 00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:27,595 Because the last thing you want is... Lana, hold up a sec. 120 00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:30,222 Ah. Archer, we don't have... 121 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,558 Cyril? Yeah, that's why I said hold up. 122 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:34,018 Archer! Don't yell at me. 123 00:06:34,186 --> 00:06:36,520 I looked away for literally one second. 124 00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:40,649 Well, where the hell did he go? I don't know, it's like he just... 125 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,988 You're looking for Predator, aren't you? 126 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:50,785 Yes. Oh. Couple things. A, he's invisible. 127 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,912 Not totally. He has a telltale shimmer. 128 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,998 Ow! And B, lower your freaking voice. 129 00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,251 Is that Cyril? 130 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,795 Mm, no, it's not whimpery enough. 131 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,340 Cyril. Cyril. 132 00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:07,551 Oh. Goddamn it. Well, look on the bright side. 133 00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:09,428 Which is? 134 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,931 Which is what? What's the bright side? 135 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,892 Oh. It's a figure of speech. 136 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:22,983 All I'm saying is there's a million green rectangle-y reasons to complete the mission... 137 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,568 ...and zero reasons not to. 138 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:27,321 You mean besides Cyril getting captured? Besides that. 139 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:30,741 And if Calzado's men got Cyril, we'll rescue him when we get Calzado. 140 00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:32,493 Problemo solved-o. 141 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:34,662 What if it was FARC? Or the ELN? 142 00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:37,706 We'll use some of the million-dollar reward to pay his ransom. 143 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:39,959 So shut up, Cyril's gonna be fine. 144 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:44,880 Unless a tiger ate him. Tigers don't live in South America. 145 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:48,259 Well, at least one does, because I just heard its spine-tingling roar. 146 00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:49,718 That was a jaguar, dumbass. 147 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:54,890 Thanks, Marlin Perkins. I think I know a tiger when I hear one! 148 00:07:56,643 --> 00:08:00,646 Every time. Your big, fat mouth gets us caught every time. 149 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,440 Not every time. Like a third of the time. 150 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:07,903 And 1000 bucks that's a tiger, Lana. 151 00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:12,908 If this doesn't work, we just paid a hundred bucks for liquid fart. 152 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:15,661 Yeah, well, here's shit in your eye. 153 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:20,040 Oh, God, it tastes worse than it smells. 154 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:24,336 Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a guy say that... 155 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,213 ...I'd have eight nickels. 156 00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:29,341 Archer, I swear to God, if you don't shut up... 157 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,720 I'm just saying, if it comes down to that... And I hope it doesn't. 158 00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:34,763 - There's no sense in us both getting raped. 159 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:40,436 Our special guests must not be injured in any way. 160 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,605 Uh, does that include rape-related injury? 161 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:46,192 Of course. No one is going to rape you. What is wrong with you? 162 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,195 We're scared. We're just tourists. Our car broke down, so... 163 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:53,365 So the assault weapons and plastic explosives, why do you have these? 164 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:57,244 Okay, yes, let me explain. Busted. We're arms dealers. 165 00:08:57,412 --> 00:09:00,372 No, heh-heh, I think not. 166 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:04,627 I think you are hunting Román Calzado in the hopes of a million-dollar reward. 167 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:09,465 Okay, yes, busted again, but I think now we're kind of rethinking that, so... 168 00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:13,469 So if I give you 2 million, will you go away and say you never found me? 169 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,846 I... Oh, my God, totally, yes! 170 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:19,308 Then we give Mother a million and you and I split the other million. 171 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,894 Uh, Calzado, you've got yourself a deal. 172 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,438 Excellent. But of course I was joking. 173 00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,899 But... Obviously, I cannot allow you to live. 174 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,150 No! Yes, you can. 175 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:29,944 Or choose not to, whatever. 176 00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:33,489 Besides, throwing money away like that would displease El Contador. 177 00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:37,117 - El contador? Doesn't that mean...? - The accountant, sí. 178 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,203 Cyril? Oof! Unh! 179 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,998 No, he said, uh, "cereal." 180 00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:50,047 And people in hell want ice water. 181 00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:06,814 Oh, my God! I'm gonna die in a toilet stall, just like the gypsy said. 182 00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:10,192 Damn that Krieger. Nazi-clone bastard. Ah. 183 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,611 Well, we don't know it was the the... Aah! 184 00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,446 Who the hell are you?! 185 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,574 I'm your friend, Pam, I'm... Pam? 186 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,619 - You're not my friend. You're a Decepticon. - Aah! 187 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,205 How are you both still alive?! 188 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:28,669 The floor is lava! The floor is lava! 189 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:32,172 Clinical trial 13. Subjects' responses are exceeding expectations. 190 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:36,260 Pam, you're melting! You're melting! 191 00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:39,263 Because the floor is lava! 192 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:43,434 Must kill Decepticon! 193 00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:46,562 Call Terry. 194 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:49,732 The tiger says... 195 00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:54,528 The tiger also says you owe me $1000, so... 196 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,739 No, I don't, because I didn't bet. 197 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,866 - Bloop! The welsher says... - Psst! 198 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,409 No, that's a snake. 199 00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,828 Oh, boy, am I glad to see you guys. 200 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,914 Cyril, what the hell is going on? Are you a drug dealer now? 201 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:09,084 What? No. You guys aren't gonna believe what happened. 202 00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:13,964 I had, um, gastric distress, or whatever, so I was just gonna duck off the trail. 203 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,258 You remember to check your 6. My six what? 204 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,093 Before I knew what was happening... 205 00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:25,559 Unh! Oh, man, right in my new pants. 206 00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:33,817 And I only had a second to answer, so I thought, "What would Lana do?" 207 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:37,237 Um, not Archer? No, I had to outsmart them. 208 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:40,657 He said, suddenly too big for his shit-caked britches. 209 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:43,077 Archer. And then it came to me. 210 00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:52,336 What's a "La Sombra"? 211 00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:54,838 Calzado's boss. Don't you remember the dossier? 212 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:57,383 No. Yes. But what about the gunshot? 213 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,846 Then they brought me here. I bluffed my way through the rest. 214 00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:04,848 La Sombra did not say you were coming. 215 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:08,435 I assume he did not want to give you the time to cook your books. 216 00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:10,354 Oh, I... I swear I don't do that. 217 00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:12,272 Well, then you are a fool. 218 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,359 You pay La Sombra 64 cents on every dollar you make, no? 219 00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:21,824 I can get that down to 30 cents, and he will never even know. 220 00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:25,369 You just leave that to me, amigo. 221 00:12:25,537 --> 00:12:27,538 Wait, what's in this for you? 222 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:32,209 We split the difference, of course. 223 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:36,839 But first I need some clean clothes. This is not mud all over my pants. 224 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:38,257 It's caca. 225 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,843 Holy shit, Cyril. Heh. Literally. 226 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,387 I kind of wish I'd skipped the diarrhea part. 227 00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,722 No, forget that, you did great! Really? 228 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:49,643 It figuratively kills me to say this, Cyril, but yeah, you did. 229 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,311 So now what? What's the plan? 230 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:54,189 Oh. Well, I was hoping you guys could come up with something. 231 00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:56,650 And ideally before tomorrow at dawn. 232 00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:58,527 Why, what's...? What is going on here? 233 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,988 Ha, ha. Amigo, I was just mocking... 234 00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:03,699 ...this giant Negress and her sissy sidekick. 235 00:13:03,867 --> 00:13:07,369 Heh-heh-heh. Yes, they are ridiculous, no? 236 00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,913 Are the accommodations to your liking? Honestly? 237 00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:13,500 No. You shouldn't even keep animals in these conditions. Look at them. 238 00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:18,255 Cement floors, steel bars, no room to run around, nothing to play with... 239 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:21,300 Ah. I think perhaps you are confusing this with a zoo. 240 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,052 I think maybe it's all these exotic animals. 241 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,722 Yes, exotic animals for me to hunt. 242 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:29,391 - You hunt them? How can you do that? - Like this. 243 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,895 Goddamn, dude! 244 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:37,566 But you see, even the majestic Bengal tiger is too easy to kill. It's boring... 245 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:42,529 ...which is why tomorrow, at dawn, I will be hunting the most dangerous game in the world. 246 00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:43,906 Jai alai? Us! 247 00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:46,241 What? Sí, so sleep well, amigos. 248 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:48,619 I want you rested and strong for tomorrow. 249 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,624 So yeah, try to think of a plan. 250 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:56,919 Well, go ahead and say it. Say what? 251 00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:59,880 Since we're gonna die in the morning, we should have sex now. 252 00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:02,132 After seeing a tiger get murdered, Lana? 253 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:05,260 No offense, but I'm not really in the mood. 254 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:09,431 If you want, I can watch while you masturbate. 255 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:12,392 But I can tell you right now, my heart won't be in it. 256 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,103 It'll be with that tiger's family. 257 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:18,565 But go ahead. I mean, start. 258 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:27,449 And so begins the hunt for the most dangerous game! 259 00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:30,202 So, what are the rules here, exactly? Ah. Lana, be still. 260 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,870 You get a 30-minute head start. 261 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:36,041 Then El Contador and I, just us alone, will track you and kill you. 262 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,335 Uh... Oh! Can they split up? 263 00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:39,836 Uh, sure, why not. 264 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:41,964 Then I propose a friendly wager. 265 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:45,634 We each hunt one of them, and the first to kill his quarry is the winner. 266 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,302 I like this idea, but, uh, which...? 267 00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:49,179 I get the woman. Called it! Boom! 268 00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:53,225 Uh... All right, since you called it. 269 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:59,356 Okay, let's hunt some humans. 270 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:00,732 Go, go, go! 271 00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,486 - Are you really that selfish?! - Apparently! 272 00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:08,699 Clinical trial 13, update. 273 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,577 As hypothesized, after mind-shredding hallucinations... 274 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:15,330 ...subjects B and C have lapsed into deep unconsciousness. 275 00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:19,001 Subject A, however, remains at large. 276 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:23,297 Begin clinical trial 14. 277 00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:25,674 Lana? Lana? 278 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,301 Where the heck is sh...? 279 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:28,510 Don't scream, it's me. 280 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:31,138 Oh, thank God. I thought those were yeti hands. 281 00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:34,725 Never gets old. But good idea back there, getting everybody to split up. 282 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:38,770 Thanks. Yeah, I figured you'd know to head back to the, uh, LZ thingy... 283 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:42,524 Which we only have an hour to get to, so... And I figured once I found you... 284 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:45,944 ...we'd work together to rescue Archer, capture Calzado and escape. 285 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:49,114 You know, you don't actually suck at this. Really? 286 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:52,743 You're thinking tactically, making quick decisions, and I gotta tell you... 287 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:55,370 ...confidence is pretty damn sexy. Really? 288 00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:56,872 Theoretically. Sorry. 289 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,584 Okay, you're doing pretty well so far, so, what's the plan, rookie? 290 00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:02,961 And sooner would be better than later. 291 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,714 Calzado is on a three-wheeler. Can you believe that guy? 292 00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:08,717 Who, the drug lord who hunts humans for sport? 293 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,844 I know, but that's just lame. Cyril. 294 00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:13,889 Uh, okay. We have to assume Archer's heading back to the LZ too... 295 00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:17,809 ...but he can't possibly outrun Calzado. Yeah, neither can we, so... 296 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,562 We don't need to outrun him, just Archer. 297 00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:22,606 What? Come on. 298 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:27,069 Ow! Oh, eat a dick, jungle! 299 00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:31,239 Cover it with malaria and leeches, sprinkle some dengue fever on it... 300 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:34,743 ...and eat a big goddamn jungly dick! 301 00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,286 Yeah, you do that... 302 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:41,124 ...and I'll just wait here for a bask of Orinoco crocodiles to wander by and eat me. 303 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,878 Oh, great, that's probably them now... 304 00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:48,924 ...tearing around on specially-equipped croc-choppers. 305 00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:50,384 Wait, what the? 306 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:07,734 Oh. Oh, Goddess of the Jungle, I take it all back. 307 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:11,279 For when I was thirsty, you saw fit to slake my... 308 00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:16,910 Goddess of the Jungle, you are a whore. 309 00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:20,747 Oh, thank God, I thought you were crocodiles. 310 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:23,709 Ha, ha. Crocodiles? On a three-wheeler? 311 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,377 Right? How scary would that be? 312 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:29,131 Probably not as scary as knowing that I'm going to cut you down from there... 313 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:31,216 ...and then gut you like a fish. 314 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:34,553 Well, then you're obviously an idiot when it comes to crocodiles... 315 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,389 ...a.k.a. The world's most deadliest predators. 316 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,641 I am the world's deadliest predator. 317 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,393 Or are you? 318 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,145 - Cyril? - No breakfast for you. 319 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:47,315 No, that's my name, Calzado. Cyril Figgis, ISIS agent. 320 00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:50,068 ISIS? That's right. 321 00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:53,363 And you're under arrest, albeit extra-judicially. 322 00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:54,823 Over my dead body. 323 00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:57,325 Well, that can be arranged. Lana? 324 00:17:58,161 --> 00:17:59,244 Hello. 325 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,372 Wait a minute, was I just bait? 326 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:05,167 That's right, Archer. All part of my brilliant plan. 327 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,836 Lana, get some vines and tie him up, chop-chop. 328 00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:10,046 "Chop-chop"? Here we go. 329 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:14,468 Uh, yeah, it means hurry? Come on, we got a chopper to catch. Tie him up. 330 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,219 You do it. 331 00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:19,598 Okay, I see what you're doing here. Hands behind your back, Calzado. 332 00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:23,351 Make me, cabrón. I... Look, she will shoot you. 333 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,771 No, I won't. No, no, she won't. 334 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,315 Come on, Cyril, go all rogue on him. 335 00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:30,442 Guys, come on, this is ridic... 336 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:33,945 I think I'm gonna be... 337 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:38,325 Yeah, I'm definitely gonna be sick. 338 00:18:38,493 --> 00:18:40,285 Here, maybe this will help. 339 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,872 My eyes! Ow! 340 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,459 Ooh. Probably shouldn't have done that. Not enough left to get drunk on. 341 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:53,131 And now, bastardo, I kill you! 342 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:57,219 Oh! Lana! 343 00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,972 Aah! What the hell?! Damn guy. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. 344 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:04,976 You're welcome, Cyril. So learn any valuable lessons today? 345 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,020 - Yes, I did. - Me too. 346 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,315 I learned I don't like being bait. 347 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,401 Ow! Sorry, Cyril, did that hurt? 348 00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:16,571 Cyril. 349 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,449 Cyril! Yes, it freaking hurt! 350 00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:20,742 Yeah, right? 351 00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:23,912 What? Yes, obviously I heard what you said. 352 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:28,583 I just can't believe the head of the DEA has the balls to say it. 353 00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:30,418 Oh, is that a fact? 354 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,045 Oh, it is. 355 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,381 Hmm. Yep. 356 00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:38,510 So, um, how'd that go? 357 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,762 Oh, fine. He was just explaining to me... 358 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:44,599 ...why ISIS won't be receiving any reward for capturing Calzado. 359 00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:46,518 What? What are you talking about? 360 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,437 Because apparently there's no proof that we did. 361 00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,940 We literally handed Calzado to them. 362 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:55,986 And in return, did they hand you a signed receipt for the prisoner? 363 00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,445 No, they... 364 00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:58,738 Oh. Oh, shit. 365 00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:00,907 Mm. So well done. 366 00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:05,287 Because that's exactly the brand of unparalleled professional excellence... 367 00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:08,123 - ...that I've come to expect at ISIS. - No, no, no! 368 00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:10,292 - What? Pam? - I wish I was still blind. 369 00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:13,128 You'll never take me alive! 370 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:18,049 What was I saying? Oh, yes, unparalleled... 371 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,301 Pam! 372 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:23,513 For the love of God, seal the exits! 373 00:20:24,432 --> 00:20:26,141 - Professional... 374 00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:31,813 That's our pee, and that's the last I better hear about it... 375 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:37,485 ...because this stupid building is a tinderbox and I will burn it to the ground. 376 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:41,489 - Excellence. 377 00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:44,951 Oh, hey, speaking of excellent, did you hear we met a tiger? 378 00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:49,289 But he got murdered.