1 00:00:02,902 --> 00:00:05,371 Now tell me exactly 2 00:00:05,438 --> 00:00:09,375 what happened. 3 00:00:09,442 --> 00:00:13,345 You, through some shady deal with the Border Patrol, 4 00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:17,149 sent us to south Texas to capture an individual named Moreno... 5 00:00:17,216 --> 00:00:21,953 - Mexico's most notorious coyote... - Which is espa?ol for 6 00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:23,088 people-smuggler. 7 00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:26,358 Thanks, that's -- And also for coyote, turns out. 8 00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:28,126 Archer -- It's a loanword. 9 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,261 Or is it a calque? 10 00:00:29,329 --> 00:00:30,296 Why do you always do this? 11 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:31,664 Because I'm always bored. 12 00:00:31,731 --> 00:00:34,633 Is he -- this is totally nerve wracking! 13 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,067 How are you bored? ! 14 00:00:36,135 --> 00:00:37,336 Don't engage him. 15 00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:39,371 Because I've been lying in scorpion piss for two hours, 16 00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:42,741 in the sunblasted shithole which is Texas, waiting for a 17 00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:47,012 stupid truck stuffed with smallish brown people who just want a job! 18 00:00:47,079 --> 00:00:49,080 And probably Mexican cartel gunmen! 19 00:00:49,148 --> 00:00:49,881 What'd I just say? 20 00:00:49,949 --> 00:00:52,484 Big whoop, I'm spooning a Barrett fifty-cal. 21 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:53,652 I could kill a building. 22 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:56,855 Just put one through the engine block when the truck has to stop. 23 00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:58,190 Please. 24 00:00:58,257 --> 00:00:59,224 This is what he does. 25 00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:02,127 He knows we're tense because we're normal human beings. 26 00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:05,698 My theory, and I'm serious, is that he's got some rare kind of 27 00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:10,035 pervasive developmental disorder, or even undiagnosed atypical autism. 28 00:01:10,102 --> 00:01:12,137 Your uh, mic's hot. 29 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:13,205 I know. 30 00:01:13,272 --> 00:01:14,440 Wow. 31 00:01:14,507 --> 00:01:17,876 - Well, here comes the truck... - Okay, we're in position. 32 00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:21,012 Great, so after we catch him, you can intentionally hurt his feelings. 33 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:24,049 Okay, first of all -- Can I hold the fake baby! 34 00:01:24,116 --> 00:01:25,517 Will you man up? ! 35 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:26,552 Kimberly Kevlar? ! 36 00:01:26,619 --> 00:01:27,686 Here we go. 37 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:28,587 Archer, you ready? 38 00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:32,524 Hang on Lana, I'm stacking rocks in order of descending size. 39 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:33,992 See, right there, that's... 40 00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:36,061 Oye! Mueve el coche! 41 00:01:36,128 --> 00:01:38,330 Hi, yeah, we broke down? 42 00:01:38,398 --> 00:01:41,367 And -- Bueno pues, los traspaso! 43 00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:45,537 Don't run over us, we have a baby! 44 00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:46,438 Oops. 45 00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:47,239 Es un robo! 46 00:01:47,306 --> 00:01:48,474 Vaya! 47 00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:49,341 Archer! 48 00:01:49,409 --> 00:01:51,377 Not talking to you. 49 00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:59,050 Ay! 50 00:01:59,118 --> 00:02:00,652 I can do this all day! 51 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,322 Since I find repetitive behavior so calming! 52 00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:06,625 Jesus Christ, I'm sorry! 53 00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:07,526 Ow! 54 00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:09,294 Apologize to my tinnitus! 55 00:02:09,362 --> 00:02:10,729 Now hands up, Moreno! 56 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:11,797 It's over! 57 00:02:11,865 --> 00:02:18,003 - What're you -- that's not Moreno... - I am Moreno! 58 00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:28,013 Moreno is a woman. 59 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:29,339 No shit. 60 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:37,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 61 00:02:50,893 --> 00:03:01,249 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 62 00:03:04,964 --> 00:03:06,331 I don't understand. 63 00:03:06,399 --> 00:03:09,267 If Moreno had surrendered, how did it go so wrong? 64 00:03:09,335 --> 00:03:14,139 Uh, well, kinda slowly at first... I said slowly! 65 00:03:14,207 --> 00:03:15,807 Whoa, hey, ladies, c'mon! 66 00:03:15,874 --> 00:03:18,343 I know the adrenaline's still pumping, but let's, ya know, 67 00:03:18,411 --> 00:03:20,212 de-escalate the situation. 68 00:03:20,279 --> 00:03:22,280 Oh for -- de-escalate your dick. 69 00:03:22,348 --> 00:03:23,582 De -- wait. 70 00:03:23,649 --> 00:03:25,650 Escalate shutting up. 71 00:03:25,718 --> 00:03:30,155 Hola, soy Sterling Archer, agente de -- De ISIS, no? 72 00:03:30,223 --> 00:03:33,057 Wait, how did you -- Lana, Mexico gets the news! 73 00:03:33,126 --> 00:03:35,693 I think, do you guys, uh, las not?cias...? 74 00:03:35,761 --> 00:03:38,263 Well, here's some news-- Now this is happening. 75 00:03:38,331 --> 00:03:39,931 I actually have some thoughts on that. 76 00:03:39,999 --> 00:03:42,367 No, you actually -- Do, and those thoughts 77 00:03:42,435 --> 00:03:45,403 are, how about we let Se?or... ita? 78 00:03:45,471 --> 00:03:46,304 S?. 79 00:03:46,372 --> 00:03:50,242 Awesome, Se?orita Moreno go, with a stern warning, if she 80 00:03:50,309 --> 00:03:54,879 promises never to do this again, maybe over a drink? 81 00:03:54,947 --> 00:03:55,780 Hola? 82 00:03:55,848 --> 00:03:57,482 Oh shit, I forgot there's people in there. 83 00:03:57,550 --> 00:03:58,983 Cyril, open the door, idiot. 84 00:03:59,051 --> 00:04:00,018 Don't push me! 85 00:04:00,085 --> 00:04:01,085 And do not! 86 00:04:01,154 --> 00:04:02,420 Open that door! 87 00:04:02,488 --> 00:04:04,422 But -- c'mon, they gotta be roasting. 88 00:04:04,490 --> 00:04:06,525 Well I'm sorry, but if we let 'em out, then boom! 89 00:04:06,592 --> 00:04:07,459 They scatter! 90 00:04:07,527 --> 00:04:10,061 To where? ! 91 00:04:10,129 --> 00:04:12,063 Uh, our overburdened health care system? 92 00:04:12,131 --> 00:04:12,697 Ooh! 93 00:04:12,765 --> 00:04:14,866 Or maybe our tax-funded government schools, for which - 94 00:04:14,933 --> 00:04:17,068 spoiler ahead - they don't pay taxes! 95 00:04:17,136 --> 00:04:20,372 How is a Lorax-blowing treehugger like you anti-immigration? ! 96 00:04:20,439 --> 00:04:23,708 Because illegal immigration-- Exactly! I mean, it's 97 00:04:23,776 --> 00:04:27,745 not like your ancestors, ya know... had papers! 98 00:04:27,813 --> 00:04:29,481 Wow. 99 00:04:29,549 --> 00:04:31,349 Cyril I said open the door! 100 00:04:31,417 --> 00:04:35,687 And I said don't push me! 101 00:04:35,754 --> 00:04:39,424 And then very, very suddenly. 102 00:04:39,492 --> 00:04:41,493 Because I couldn't hear you! 103 00:04:41,561 --> 00:04:43,161 Over the sound! 104 00:04:43,229 --> 00:04:45,330 Of now I'm punching you! 105 00:04:45,398 --> 00:04:48,132 Dammit Archer, let him -- Oops. 106 00:04:48,201 --> 00:04:48,800 Lana! 107 00:04:48,867 --> 00:04:49,668 Have you lost your mind? ! 108 00:04:49,735 --> 00:04:50,735 No, just my temper. 109 00:04:50,803 --> 00:04:53,271 Now open the goddamn door. 110 00:04:53,339 --> 00:04:56,174 And Se?orita Moreno, you're free to go. 111 00:04:56,242 --> 00:04:59,544 Although the appropriate thing would be to buy me a thank-you drink. 112 00:04:59,612 --> 00:05:00,044 Uh...? 113 00:05:00,079 --> 00:05:00,812 What're you doing. 114 00:05:00,879 --> 00:05:02,113 What are you doing? ! 115 00:05:02,181 --> 00:05:03,548 You almost killed Lana! 116 00:05:03,616 --> 00:05:05,817 - Nnghh... - No, see, she's fine! 117 00:05:05,884 --> 00:05:08,052 She's not fine, she's at least got a concussion! 118 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:08,920 So? 119 00:05:08,987 --> 00:05:10,388 You get like, six freebies. 120 00:05:10,456 --> 00:05:11,155 No you don't! 121 00:05:11,224 --> 00:05:13,057 Yes you do, Cyril, now put it down! 122 00:05:13,125 --> 00:05:14,092 You put it down! 123 00:05:14,159 --> 00:05:14,892 It's over! 124 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:18,597 We are turning Moreno over to the border patrol and taking Lana to a hospital! 125 00:05:18,664 --> 00:05:19,897 Can't let you do that. 126 00:05:19,965 --> 00:05:22,900 The first part, hospital's probably a good idea. 127 00:05:22,968 --> 00:05:25,437 Well, then we'll just see what your mother has to say about it! 128 00:05:25,504 --> 00:05:28,106 Do not call her, I swear to God I'll -- wait, hang on, 129 00:05:28,173 --> 00:05:29,307 are you wearing kevlar? 130 00:05:29,375 --> 00:05:33,845 Yes, because I'm not an idi -- oh no. 131 00:05:33,912 --> 00:05:36,281 Sorry, I know that hurt. 132 00:05:36,349 --> 00:05:37,382 Nnghhhh... 133 00:05:37,450 --> 00:05:40,017 There, just like "The Defiant Ones." 134 00:05:40,085 --> 00:05:44,289 Now then, I believe there was some mention of a thank-you drink? 135 00:05:44,357 --> 00:05:47,692 So, just so I'm clear... You expect me to believe 136 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:51,229 that Sterling beat both of you up, then shot Cyril? 137 00:05:51,297 --> 00:05:52,664 - Uh... - Uh... 138 00:05:52,732 --> 00:05:53,265 For some 139 00:05:53,332 --> 00:05:54,266 haggard Mexican? 140 00:05:54,333 --> 00:05:57,068 - I wouldn't really describe her as haggard... - I would. 141 00:05:57,136 --> 00:05:58,002 Of course you would. 142 00:05:58,070 --> 00:06:01,906 But, shut up, tempers were kinda high, about the illegals in the truck. 143 00:06:01,974 --> 00:06:03,275 Oh who cares about them. 144 00:06:03,342 --> 00:06:04,142 Not Lana. 145 00:06:04,209 --> 00:06:08,680 Still, though, it doesn't-- Do you mind? ! 146 00:06:08,748 --> 00:06:11,849 Yes, it's the most stupidest boring job in the whole stupid 147 00:06:11,917 --> 00:06:14,719 boring world! 148 00:06:14,787 --> 00:06:17,021 But you insist that we do it. 149 00:06:17,089 --> 00:06:19,090 Not right this second! 150 00:06:19,158 --> 00:06:21,092 Remind me, Pam, when did Ms. Archer say she 151 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,394 wanted us to shred this crap? 152 00:06:22,461 --> 00:06:24,228 You did say right this second. 153 00:06:24,297 --> 00:06:26,063 I said it on Tuesday! 154 00:06:26,131 --> 00:06:26,631 Well? ! 155 00:06:26,699 --> 00:06:28,400 Well what? ! 156 00:06:28,467 --> 00:06:30,101 I actually don't have a follow-up. 157 00:06:30,169 --> 00:06:33,104 But speaking of, I bet a Mexican would do this for a buck an hour. 158 00:06:33,172 --> 00:06:35,106 Those documents are top-secret! 159 00:06:35,174 --> 00:06:36,174 You let Pam do it. 160 00:06:36,241 --> 00:06:37,742 Dicknuts. 161 00:06:37,810 --> 00:06:40,011 I'm just sayin, they work hard as hell, and they work cheap. 162 00:06:40,078 --> 00:06:41,680 Cheap, because they don't pay taxes! 163 00:06:41,747 --> 00:06:42,514 Thank you! 164 00:06:42,581 --> 00:06:44,048 And when did you work with Mexicans? 165 00:06:44,116 --> 00:06:47,185 Where do you think milk comes from? 166 00:06:47,252 --> 00:06:48,720 How's it hangin, Jorge? 167 00:06:48,788 --> 00:06:49,954 Bien, Miss Pam. 168 00:06:50,022 --> 00:06:51,723 How are joo? 169 00:06:51,791 --> 00:06:55,360 Yeah, I think you're ready. 170 00:06:55,428 --> 00:06:57,529 Milk comes from Mexicans? 171 00:06:57,596 --> 00:07:00,998 Oh my God, what's cereal made from? ! 172 00:07:01,066 --> 00:07:01,866 Thank you. 173 00:07:01,934 --> 00:07:02,534 Labor of love. 174 00:07:02,601 --> 00:07:03,401 Well? 175 00:07:03,469 --> 00:07:04,135 Then what? 176 00:07:04,203 --> 00:07:06,671 I suppose next you'll tell me Sterling drove off in the truck 177 00:07:06,739 --> 00:07:08,306 with this Mexican woman? 178 00:07:08,374 --> 00:07:09,040 Uh, no. 179 00:07:09,107 --> 00:07:14,212 Because if you will recall... Archer shot out the engine block... 180 00:07:14,279 --> 00:07:17,749 And I don't think she was the only one he drove off with... 181 00:07:17,817 --> 00:07:19,083 So where did they all go? 182 00:07:19,151 --> 00:07:20,518 And how? 183 00:07:20,586 --> 00:07:22,086 Who the hell knows where? ! 184 00:07:22,154 --> 00:07:28,460 Although we do have a working theory on how... 185 00:07:28,527 --> 00:07:33,698 Hey I'm serious, if I have to pull this car over you will regret it! 186 00:07:33,766 --> 00:07:37,569 So share the goddamn Doritos! 187 00:07:37,636 --> 00:07:40,472 Yeah, lookin right at you, Lupe. 188 00:07:43,573 --> 00:07:45,207 You want me to look for what? 189 00:07:45,275 --> 00:07:46,141 A station wagon! 190 00:07:46,209 --> 00:07:49,144 Clean the impending massive heart attack out of your ears. 191 00:07:49,212 --> 00:07:50,312 A station wagon. 192 00:07:50,380 --> 00:07:51,614 In all of Texas. 193 00:07:51,681 --> 00:07:56,051 - Yeah, or Arizona, Mexico, New Mexico... - Oh my God. 194 00:07:56,119 --> 00:07:57,386 You just got that. 195 00:07:57,454 --> 00:08:01,156 Mmmokay, but that's gonna be kind of a needle in a -- hey, is that it? ! 196 00:08:01,224 --> 00:08:04,460 Oh. No, it was-- Is that it? 197 00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:05,461 Is that it? 198 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:06,495 Is that it? 199 00:08:06,563 --> 00:08:07,529 Or is it that? 200 00:08:07,597 --> 00:08:08,797 Is that it? 201 00:08:08,865 --> 00:08:11,032 Alright, point -- Wait wait wait wait! 202 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:11,833 Is that it? ! 203 00:08:11,901 --> 00:08:13,168 Point taken! 204 00:08:13,236 --> 00:08:14,169 Ow! 205 00:08:14,237 --> 00:08:15,371 Hey, ya know what? ! 206 00:08:15,438 --> 00:08:17,539 Swear to God, you people make me want to pump nerve gas 207 00:08:17,607 --> 00:08:18,807 through the vents. 208 00:08:18,875 --> 00:08:19,841 Just say the word. 209 00:08:19,909 --> 00:08:20,676 Krieger! 210 00:08:20,744 --> 00:08:21,377 No! 211 00:08:21,444 --> 00:08:25,213 Or, nein, or -- And how the hell is this our fault? 212 00:08:25,282 --> 00:08:31,253 - Rrrnn... - She slapped you so hard you died. 213 00:08:31,321 --> 00:08:35,924 - No, I think I'm really dyin... - KRIEGER I know. 214 00:08:35,992 --> 00:08:38,294 Hey, there's Archer. 215 00:08:38,361 --> 00:08:43,064 Aaaaaaagh! 216 00:08:43,132 --> 00:08:46,902 Ugh, whoever that was, I'm serious, pretty sure you've got giardia. 217 00:08:46,969 --> 00:08:52,073 I'm serious, please, thank you, but we need to get back into Mexico. 218 00:08:52,141 --> 00:08:53,842 Solo para reagruparnos! 219 00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:55,844 What the hell kind of plan is this? ! 220 00:08:55,912 --> 00:08:57,546 Mmm, I dunno if I'd call it a plan...? 221 00:08:57,614 --> 00:08:58,914 No one would! 222 00:08:58,981 --> 00:09:00,081 We can't drive around Texas! 223 00:09:00,149 --> 00:09:01,650 What about the border patrol? ! 224 00:09:01,718 --> 00:09:06,154 The what? 225 00:09:06,222 --> 00:09:12,594 What in the... hell? ! 226 00:09:12,662 --> 00:09:14,663 Ten-eighty, we got a ten-eighty! 227 00:09:14,731 --> 00:09:17,866 Neat! 228 00:09:17,934 --> 00:09:21,069 Puto cabezamierda pendejo cabron! 229 00:09:21,137 --> 00:09:22,204 Ow! Ow! 230 00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:23,706 I'm really starting to regret helping you! 231 00:09:23,773 --> 00:09:24,707 Wh-? 232 00:09:24,774 --> 00:09:25,507 This is the opposite of help! 233 00:09:25,575 --> 00:09:27,343 Which no one asked you for anyway! 234 00:09:27,410 --> 00:09:29,745 That's what makes it so noble! 235 00:09:29,813 --> 00:09:30,946 Est? loco! 236 00:09:31,013 --> 00:09:32,013 Loco, no sé. 237 00:09:32,081 --> 00:09:33,048 Tal vez autismo. 238 00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:35,784 Goddammit Chuy I don't have autism! 239 00:09:35,852 --> 00:09:38,721 I thought if I let you go you'd at least blow me! 240 00:09:38,788 --> 00:09:42,157 Pinche cabezamierda pendejo cabron! 241 00:09:42,225 --> 00:09:44,192 You think I am some kind of whore? ! 242 00:09:44,260 --> 00:09:46,995 No, but -- Chuy, back me up here, was there not, like, a 243 00:09:47,063 --> 00:09:48,464 cock-hungry vibe? 244 00:09:48,531 --> 00:09:49,231 Driver. 245 00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:50,131 Driver. 246 00:09:50,199 --> 00:09:50,966 Driver! 247 00:09:51,033 --> 00:09:52,501 Hey guys! 248 00:09:52,569 --> 00:09:55,136 Can you escort us to a hospital? 249 00:09:55,204 --> 00:09:59,608 I bet at least three of these woman are about to give birth. 250 00:09:59,676 --> 00:10:09,050 Whoa, okay, okay, I'm pulling ov -- We're ten-fifty we're ten-fifty! 251 00:10:09,118 --> 00:10:10,619 What the shit? ! 252 00:10:10,687 --> 00:10:14,356 Who did that? ! 253 00:10:14,424 --> 00:10:16,792 Malo, Lupe, muy malo! 254 00:10:16,860 --> 00:10:20,896 Oh, plus you are just covered in... polvo Dorito! 255 00:10:20,963 --> 00:10:23,031 Di?s mio, don't kill them! 256 00:10:23,099 --> 00:10:23,866 What? ! 257 00:10:23,933 --> 00:10:25,667 God, what kind of person do you think I am? 258 00:10:25,735 --> 00:10:27,603 I really think you might be insane. 259 00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:31,106 That was more of a rhetorical-- But I also think you 260 00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:34,476 make a big risk, to help some poor people who just want a better life 261 00:10:34,544 --> 00:10:35,577 for their family. 262 00:10:35,645 --> 00:10:41,082 And that, to me, is muy admirable. 263 00:10:45,154 --> 00:10:45,921 See? 264 00:10:45,988 --> 00:10:50,893 I knew you wanted to blow m -- Sorry, that was inappropriate. 265 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,494 Although so was the response. 266 00:10:52,562 --> 00:10:53,361 Drop the weapon! 267 00:10:53,430 --> 00:10:54,663 Drop it! 268 00:10:54,731 --> 00:10:55,397 Here. 269 00:10:55,465 --> 00:10:56,498 You are crazy! 270 00:10:56,566 --> 00:10:57,566 They'll kill us! 271 00:10:57,634 --> 00:10:58,634 Uh-uh, empty. 272 00:10:58,701 --> 00:10:59,334 Wh-? 273 00:10:59,402 --> 00:11:00,402 Last warning! 274 00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:03,472 Those are three-fifty-seven, ow, Ruger sixes. 275 00:11:03,540 --> 00:11:04,706 They each fired six. 276 00:11:04,774 --> 00:11:06,107 How did you count them? ! 277 00:11:06,175 --> 00:11:08,276 I'm just super good at that. 278 00:11:08,344 --> 00:11:10,779 Oh my God, maybe I am autistic. 279 00:11:10,847 --> 00:11:13,281 O.K. ya dirty-ass beaner! That's it! 280 00:11:14,984 --> 00:11:16,685 Qué? ! 281 00:11:16,753 --> 00:11:20,422 I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of... 282 00:11:20,490 --> 00:11:24,827 espera, ten?a algo para esto. 283 00:11:24,894 --> 00:11:28,564 But I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for that racial slur. 284 00:11:28,631 --> 00:11:29,832 S?? 285 00:11:29,899 --> 00:11:31,633 What about the racial profiling? 286 00:11:31,701 --> 00:11:33,735 Whatever happened to probable cause? 287 00:11:33,803 --> 00:11:36,438 Our probable cause is the border! 288 00:11:36,506 --> 00:11:38,774 Which we protect from terrorists? 289 00:11:38,842 --> 00:11:40,943 Look, we're just doin our job here. 290 00:11:41,010 --> 00:11:45,747 Shittily... Two-for-twelve at that distance? 291 00:11:45,815 --> 00:11:47,983 Although, two does seem like plenty. 292 00:11:48,050 --> 00:11:49,551 Mijo, no debes beber. 293 00:11:49,619 --> 00:11:52,087 Really, you learn that in med school? ! 294 00:11:52,154 --> 00:11:55,023 Lo siento, Lupe, tengo mucho dolor. 295 00:11:55,091 --> 00:11:57,960 But quit hogging the beads, I'm sure Marisol and Paz wanna pray. 296 00:11:58,027 --> 00:12:01,897 And these people aren't -- I mean not to sound racist, but 297 00:12:01,965 --> 00:12:04,666 - we all know who the terrorists are... - Los musulmanes. 298 00:12:04,734 --> 00:12:05,634 Lupe! 299 00:12:05,702 --> 00:12:08,036 C'mon, you're in America now, you just imply it. 300 00:12:08,104 --> 00:12:09,938 Hey, let us go. 301 00:12:10,006 --> 00:12:12,173 You got our first aid kit, the radio outta the truck so you 302 00:12:12,241 --> 00:12:15,811 - can monitor the police band... - And, not to sound racist again? 303 00:12:15,879 --> 00:12:18,981 But how many Mexicans does it take to hook up a car stereo? ! 304 00:12:19,048 --> 00:12:19,715 Hey! 305 00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:20,382 Well? ! 306 00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:21,783 Well what? ! 307 00:12:21,851 --> 00:12:23,284 Don't actually have a follow-up. 308 00:12:23,352 --> 00:12:25,821 But seriously, Chuy, que the hell pasa? 309 00:12:25,889 --> 00:12:30,258 I dunno, the police band is working, but now the eight-track is not. 310 00:12:30,326 --> 00:12:31,092 Why! 311 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,995 Would we need the eight-track? ! 312 00:12:33,062 --> 00:12:36,431 - Oh, that can't be good... - Basta! 313 00:12:36,499 --> 00:12:37,198 Vamonos! 314 00:12:37,266 --> 00:12:38,166 We go to hospital! 315 00:12:38,234 --> 00:12:39,234 You two! 316 00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:39,902 Get your ass off the car! 317 00:12:39,969 --> 00:12:41,302 You can't just leave us here! 318 00:12:41,370 --> 00:12:43,572 We're twenty miles away from our last call-in! 319 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:46,274 We'll die out here! 320 00:12:46,342 --> 00:12:54,816 Goddamnit... I'm actually gonna take that back... I'm glad you took the 321 00:12:54,884 --> 00:12:56,217 time to fix it. 322 00:12:56,285 --> 00:12:58,416 Eight-track was the way to go. 323 00:13:09,591 --> 00:13:11,325 What do you mean "Way to go"? 324 00:13:11,393 --> 00:13:13,093 Which you clearly said sarcastically. 325 00:13:13,161 --> 00:13:14,127 I mean, 326 00:13:14,196 --> 00:13:17,798 thanks to you, now there might not be any... reward money, which I had 327 00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:20,934 earmarked for -- vital operations. 328 00:13:21,002 --> 00:13:22,836 You were gonna re-do your office. 329 00:13:22,904 --> 00:13:26,240 Picture it all sort of pan-Asian Mod, and the carpet 330 00:13:26,308 --> 00:13:28,875 just a sea of white! 331 00:13:28,943 --> 00:13:30,911 But now I'm stuck with cat-puke green. 332 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,546 Because you couldn't control Sterling. 333 00:13:32,614 --> 00:13:36,350 Since when is babysitting Archer my job, my God, that's exactly my job... 334 00:13:36,418 --> 00:13:38,586 Which, to belabor the point, you failed. 335 00:13:38,653 --> 00:13:42,989 Now he's run off with this old Mexican woman to who knows where! 336 00:13:43,057 --> 00:13:44,024 Ewww! 337 00:13:44,092 --> 00:13:46,260 Put a shirt on, what is wrong with you? ! 338 00:13:46,328 --> 00:13:47,394 Archer! 339 00:13:47,462 --> 00:13:48,362 Is what is wrong with me! 340 00:13:48,430 --> 00:13:51,265 And not that I care, at all, but have you tried calling him? 341 00:13:51,333 --> 00:13:53,500 Please, with those idiot voicemails? 342 00:13:53,568 --> 00:13:54,535 Ugh. 343 00:13:54,603 --> 00:14:01,542 - Although, it couldn't hurt... - Hang on, I should get that... 344 00:14:01,610 --> 00:14:02,976 Now? 345 00:14:03,044 --> 00:14:06,313 - Trust me, if you knew my mother... - Please, if you knew mine. 346 00:14:06,381 --> 00:14:08,048 But you should not be talking right now. 347 00:14:08,116 --> 00:14:10,384 And he really shouldn't be drinkin. 348 00:14:10,452 --> 00:14:11,184 Really? 349 00:14:11,253 --> 00:14:12,486 You learn that in med school? 350 00:14:12,554 --> 00:14:16,557 That you obviously didn't get into? ! 351 00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:19,192 I'm sorry, veterinarian, I'm in a lot of pain. 352 00:14:19,261 --> 00:14:21,194 I don't even know how you're alive. 353 00:14:21,263 --> 00:14:22,563 I'm very strong. 354 00:14:22,631 --> 00:14:24,064 And also very drunk. 355 00:14:24,132 --> 00:14:25,633 Which, paging Doctor D.T. 356 00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:27,668 McShakyhands? 357 00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,803 Seriously, get your shit together. 358 00:14:29,871 --> 00:14:30,738 Mother? 359 00:14:30,805 --> 00:14:34,441 - Listen, I'm sorry, I take... - Equal responsibility, with Lana... 360 00:14:34,509 --> 00:14:35,075 Wh-? ! 361 00:14:35,143 --> 00:14:35,942 But -- ow! 362 00:14:36,010 --> 00:14:37,611 C'mon, Katy Hepburn! 363 00:14:37,679 --> 00:14:40,781 The stupid Border Patrol shot me, twice, and I could really 364 00:14:40,848 --> 00:14:42,383 use a medivac chopper. 365 00:14:42,450 --> 00:14:48,422 I'm kinda near -- hey, where -- Goddammit man, pace yourself! 366 00:14:48,490 --> 00:14:49,189 See? 367 00:14:49,257 --> 00:14:51,325 They just get more and more elaborate, and then it's "ha ha 368 00:14:51,393 --> 00:14:53,927 beep" and then somehow I'm the idiot. 369 00:14:53,995 --> 00:14:54,395 What? ! 370 00:14:54,462 --> 00:14:57,564 No no no this isn't a voi-- Smail. 371 00:14:57,632 --> 00:15:00,501 Well, I'm sure there's a lesson in there somewhere, but -- ow! 372 00:15:00,568 --> 00:15:01,468 Hic! 373 00:15:01,536 --> 00:15:03,337 That oughta do 'er. 374 00:15:03,405 --> 00:15:04,505 Gracias a Di?s! 375 00:15:04,572 --> 00:15:05,839 And to you, doctor! 376 00:15:05,907 --> 00:15:07,841 You truly have the gift of healing! 377 00:15:07,909 --> 00:15:10,811 Boy, I wish you'd tell that to the licensing board. 378 00:15:10,878 --> 00:15:12,713 You don't even have a vet license? ! 379 00:15:12,781 --> 00:15:15,316 Thanks to one petty local politician. 380 00:15:15,383 --> 00:15:17,685 And one petty barn fulla dead horses. 381 00:15:17,752 --> 00:15:21,888 Will you shut up and stitch me up? ! 382 00:15:21,956 --> 00:15:25,125 Although... if that wasn't a prank, and the 383 00:15:25,193 --> 00:15:29,697 Border Patrol did shoot him... 384 00:15:29,764 --> 00:15:30,664 Inappropriate. 385 00:15:30,732 --> 00:15:34,000 - Oh he just has to ruin everything... - Yeah, so watch 386 00:15:34,068 --> 00:15:37,504 - out for dehydration... - Thank you, doctor, we will. 387 00:15:37,572 --> 00:15:39,340 And also for internal bleeding. 388 00:15:39,407 --> 00:15:40,774 We -- And sepsis. 389 00:15:40,842 --> 00:15:42,142 We -- And MRSA. 390 00:15:42,210 --> 00:15:43,644 We -- And probably not 391 00:15:43,712 --> 00:15:44,845 a bad idea to get him tested for feline AIDS. 392 00:15:44,912 --> 00:15:45,679 We get it! 393 00:15:45,747 --> 00:15:47,113 Now can we go already? ! 394 00:15:47,181 --> 00:15:51,985 He said, in agony, because the unlicensed vet drank all his tequila! 395 00:15:52,053 --> 00:15:54,421 Es mejor, no debes beber. 396 00:15:54,489 --> 00:15:56,757 Lupe, ya tengo una madre! 397 00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:57,658 Now go! 398 00:15:57,726 --> 00:15:58,625 Thank you, doctor. 399 00:15:58,693 --> 00:16:00,461 Oh, don't thank me. 400 00:16:00,528 --> 00:16:02,496 Seriously, I probably did more harm than good, so if there's 401 00:16:02,564 --> 00:16:06,333 any way to get to one, a medivac chopper wouldn't kill him. 402 00:16:09,937 --> 00:16:13,273 Less he got flung up into the blades somehow. 403 00:16:13,341 --> 00:16:17,244 - Yeah, that'd do it... - That will do, thank you! 404 00:16:17,311 --> 00:16:19,913 I -- wait, but two Border Patrol agents are missing, 405 00:16:19,981 --> 00:16:22,583 Archer's missing, and you want us to do... nothing? 406 00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:24,184 Yes, just like you've done up to now. 407 00:16:24,252 --> 00:16:25,151 Malory, we -- 408 00:16:25,219 --> 00:16:26,219 But thank you both for 409 00:16:26,287 --> 00:16:27,153 all that you did do. 410 00:16:27,221 --> 00:16:28,889 Which, again, was nothing. 411 00:16:28,956 --> 00:16:31,324 Nothing -- I got shot! 412 00:16:31,393 --> 00:16:33,794 Any idiot can get shot, Cyril! 413 00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:34,862 Ask Brett! 414 00:16:34,929 --> 00:16:38,231 Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make some calls to see if I 415 00:16:38,299 --> 00:16:43,637 can get my son out of this mess. 416 00:16:43,705 --> 00:16:44,938 How's it hangin, Grimace? 417 00:16:45,006 --> 00:16:46,306 Owww! 418 00:16:46,374 --> 00:16:47,808 Why? 419 00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,276 Why's the AC on? 420 00:16:49,343 --> 00:16:51,645 That's not the AC, it's the heat! 421 00:16:51,713 --> 00:16:53,013 Then why's it so cold? 422 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,349 - Porque vas al cielo... - Really doubt I'm going to heaven... 423 00:16:56,418 --> 00:16:57,317 Well, dying. 424 00:16:57,385 --> 00:17:01,321 No he's not! 425 00:17:01,389 --> 00:17:03,924 - Well, you say that... - We'll never make it in 426 00:17:03,991 --> 00:17:05,592 time in this crappy car! 427 00:17:05,660 --> 00:17:06,894 You need a helicopter! 428 00:17:06,961 --> 00:17:12,966 Yeah, I dunno if you heard, but-- I don't have access to a helicopter. 429 00:17:13,034 --> 00:17:13,834 They do. 430 00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:16,236 C'mon, we're in enough trouble already! 431 00:17:16,304 --> 00:17:17,571 With who. 432 00:17:17,639 --> 00:17:20,474 - Dammit... - You call headquarters, you say an innocent Amer -- 433 00:17:20,542 --> 00:17:22,309 Republican was shot in a 434 00:17:22,376 --> 00:17:23,644 gunfight with some illegals... 435 00:17:23,711 --> 00:17:24,277 Wh-? 436 00:17:24,345 --> 00:17:26,680 No, that'll just make you people look worse! 437 00:17:26,748 --> 00:17:30,651 No, not worse as in -- okay, screw you guys, you know what I meant. 438 00:17:30,718 --> 00:17:34,488 But if they call this in, you'll -- We will be far away by then. 439 00:17:34,556 --> 00:17:37,891 And besides, what kind of car will the Border Patrol be looking for? 440 00:17:37,959 --> 00:17:43,430 A... ridiculous lowrider truck with fender-flares and louvers and shit? 441 00:17:43,498 --> 00:17:44,665 Exacto. 442 00:17:44,732 --> 00:17:48,502 And so, Mr. Archer, I'm afraid for us, this is adios. 443 00:17:48,570 --> 00:17:49,503 Adios? 444 00:17:49,571 --> 00:17:52,038 Not hasta pronto, or -- 445 00:17:56,043 --> 00:18:01,682 So, I'm guessing that's a no possible on the blowjob? 446 00:18:01,749 --> 00:18:07,053 Adios, lindo. 447 00:18:07,121 --> 00:18:11,391 Well, if that ain't a big loada shit... Turns out he's some kinda spook. 448 00:18:11,459 --> 00:18:13,293 Dude, phrasing! 449 00:18:13,361 --> 00:18:14,962 He's right here! 450 00:18:15,029 --> 00:18:17,898 Don't listen to him, you're beautiful. 451 00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:21,668 As is whatever you're doing, with the, morphine-wise. 452 00:18:21,736 --> 00:18:22,803 Keep that coming. 453 00:18:22,871 --> 00:18:25,138 That was my boss's boss's boss. 454 00:18:25,206 --> 00:18:27,073 He says yer ass gets total immunity! 455 00:18:27,141 --> 00:18:28,241 Ha ha! 456 00:18:28,309 --> 00:18:34,681 For helping the most notorious coyote in todo Mexico, Mercedes Moreno? ! 457 00:18:34,749 --> 00:18:35,582 Mercedes? 458 00:18:35,650 --> 00:18:36,783 Vrooom! 459 00:18:36,851 --> 00:18:41,287 - Shit, she must be her daughter... - Wait, whose daughter? 460 00:18:41,355 --> 00:18:43,690 Maria Moreno, dumbass. 461 00:18:43,758 --> 00:18:46,393 She's who we're after. 462 00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:49,129 Bet she smuggles in a thouzna them sumbitches a year. 463 00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:52,132 But word on the street is, now she's expanding! 464 00:18:52,199 --> 00:18:55,101 Gonna start bringin em in convoys! 465 00:18:55,169 --> 00:18:56,837 And blow me if we can catch her. 466 00:18:56,905 --> 00:18:57,838 Mmm! 467 00:18:57,906 --> 00:19:05,078 But if Mercedes isn't... then why would... but... oh, hang on a sec. 468 00:19:05,146 --> 00:19:06,513 Dear Sterling. 469 00:19:06,581 --> 00:19:09,683 You probably should not be reading this out loud, bec -- 470 00:19:09,751 --> 00:19:12,085 Because hopefully you are with the Border Patrol, on 471 00:19:12,153 --> 00:19:13,520 the way to a real hospital. 472 00:19:13,588 --> 00:19:15,321 I'm so sorry you got shot. 473 00:19:15,389 --> 00:19:19,259 And I don't know how to tell you this, but we did not meet by accident. 474 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:21,795 We knew you would be there, Sterling. 475 00:19:21,863 --> 00:19:23,096 Vale vale, ah? estan. 476 00:19:23,164 --> 00:19:25,331 Prep?rate. 477 00:19:25,399 --> 00:19:29,736 We knew your strengths... And we also knew your -- well, one of your many, many 478 00:19:29,804 --> 00:19:32,539 weaknesses. 479 00:19:32,607 --> 00:19:36,242 Por suerte no es Ray Gillette, eh? 480 00:19:36,310 --> 00:19:38,812 And then... well, you know the rest. 481 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,082 What the... mierda! 482 00:19:42,149 --> 00:19:46,987 Cuidate, Sterling Archer, te guardaré siempre en mi coraz?n. 483 00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:48,455 But... who? ! 484 00:19:48,522 --> 00:19:52,726 Oh hang on, there's a -- P.S., and as for who -- wait, hang on. 485 00:19:52,794 --> 00:19:55,295 Oh, Lupe says she will be praying for you. 486 00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:59,532 And as for who, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but maybe 487 00:19:59,601 --> 00:20:04,671 - you know someone who values money... - Oh my... Mother. 488 00:20:04,739 --> 00:20:07,629 More than their so-called principles? 489 00:20:07,988 --> 00:20:10,334 So what do you care if it's in pesos? 490 00:20:10,772 --> 00:20:14,153 Well, actually, no, I was, but then I thought... 491 00:20:14,273 --> 00:20:15,937 white carpet? 492 00:20:16,057 --> 00:20:18,636 Because he wouldn't believe what those *** are. 493 00:20:19,396 --> 00:20:20,730 What are you doing? 494 00:20:20,850 --> 00:20:23,662 What? Nothing. I'm just a hologram. 495 00:20:28,823 --> 00:20:30,389 Anyhoo... 496 00:20:30,509 --> 00:20:40,958 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 497 00:20:41,305 --> 00:21:41,379 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP