1 00:00:01,220 --> 00:00:07,058 - Allaaaaaaaahu akbaaaaaaaaaar... - Noooo... 2 00:00:07,059 --> 00:00:11,563 Ugh, no wonder Morocco Mole was so inept, he never got any damn sleep. 3 00:00:12,865 --> 00:00:15,253 Unlike some people! 4 00:00:15,373 --> 00:00:17,107 Wuzzat?! Oh. G'morning. 5 00:00:17,108 --> 00:00:18,675 Don't "g'morning" me! 6 00:00:18,676 --> 00:00:19,910 What's your problem? 7 00:00:19,911 --> 00:00:22,178 Besides that frickin air raid siren? 8 00:00:22,179 --> 00:00:25,015 It's the muezzin chanting the adhan, Lana. God, 9 00:00:25,016 --> 00:00:26,416 be open to other cultures. 10 00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:29,686 I am! What I'm not open to is not sleeping on the 11 00:00:29,687 --> 00:00:32,689 floor, listening to your drunk ass fart and snore all night in 12 00:00:32,690 --> 00:00:36,126 the only bed, which I'm sure is why you wanted this room! 13 00:00:36,127 --> 00:00:38,128 If I may rebut, point by point? 14 00:00:38,129 --> 00:00:38,829 No, you may - 15 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,328 A, pretty sure I offered to share the bed, B, I 16 00:00:41,332 --> 00:00:43,534 - wasn't that drunk... - Really. 17 00:00:43,535 --> 00:00:46,603 Lana, this is me we're talking about. And okay yeah, 18 00:00:46,604 --> 00:00:49,339 maybe I smoked just a teeny bit too much hashish, but that's 19 00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:51,274 only because I didn't want to be rude. 20 00:00:51,275 --> 00:00:55,145 To who, the creepy old Moroccan dude? Or those Dutch high school girls? 21 00:00:55,146 --> 00:00:58,682 Both, the latter of whom were college juniors, and 22 00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:03,086 C, Lana we had to take this room, Beat history was made here! 23 00:01:03,087 --> 00:01:04,387 Says who, the manager?! 24 00:01:04,388 --> 00:01:06,389 Wh-? Why would he lie?! 25 00:01:06,390 --> 00:01:07,958 You are American, yes? 26 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:09,092 Uh, yes? 27 00:01:09,093 --> 00:01:10,961 Then you know Allen Ginsberg, author of the 28 00:01:10,962 --> 00:01:14,130 poem Howl, "I saw the best minds of my generation 29 00:01:14,131 --> 00:01:18,669 destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked..." 30 00:01:18,670 --> 00:01:20,070 Yes. 31 00:01:20,071 --> 00:01:22,305 So for extra one thousand American, you can 32 00:01:22,306 --> 00:01:23,974 have room where he wrote- Yes! 33 00:01:23,975 --> 00:01:26,076 Archer, Morocco. 34 00:01:26,077 --> 00:01:29,913 Yeah, hang on. Is this really the room where Allen Ginsberg wrote Howl? 35 00:01:29,914 --> 00:01:32,248 Why not. 36 00:01:32,249 --> 00:01:36,352 Yeah why not? And just so we're clear, you're mad at 37 00:01:36,353 --> 00:01:39,856 all that stuff, and not just being weird because we had sex last night. 38 00:01:39,857 --> 00:01:41,625 Are you -- we didn't have sex! 39 00:01:41,626 --> 00:01:46,763 Good, because I lied, I was drunk. Want some? Make ya feel better. 40 00:01:46,764 --> 00:01:49,165 What will make me feel better, is to get out of shit- 41 00:01:49,166 --> 00:01:51,902 reeking Tangier, which we can only do after we extract - 42 00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:55,238 agent what's his name, Kazak - who, why the hell hasn't he 43 00:01:55,239 --> 00:01:58,008 activated his GPS beacon, and while we're on the subject, 44 00:01:58,009 --> 00:02:00,010 where the hell is our GPS? 45 00:02:00,011 --> 00:02:02,312 Oh. Promise you won't get mad? 46 00:02:02,313 --> 00:02:03,680 Uh, no? 47 00:02:03,681 --> 00:02:07,884 - Noooo... - I know, right? It's loud as balls. 48 00:02:07,885 --> 00:02:09,285 When did it start going off?! 49 00:02:09,286 --> 00:02:13,490 I dunno, like... before the muezzin, but after the Dutch co-eds left. 50 00:02:13,491 --> 00:02:14,958 You brought them up to the room?! 51 00:02:14,959 --> 00:02:18,996 Aha, busted! You did get some sleep! 52 00:02:19,063 --> 00:02:29,146 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 53 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 54 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:41,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 55 00:02:54,448 --> 00:02:58,267 How can you not love this place? The sights, the sounds, the smells... 56 00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:02,424 No, Archer, just one smell, singular, which would knock a possum over. 57 00:03:02,425 --> 00:03:06,356 Didelphis virginiana! My second favorite animal with a prehensile - 58 00:03:06,362 --> 00:03:07,096 Tail. 59 00:03:07,097 --> 00:03:08,997 Thanks, Brett Somers, yes, a tail. 60 00:03:08,998 --> 00:03:10,065 You have one. 61 00:03:10,066 --> 00:03:13,401 I wish, then I'd be like my first favorite prehensile-tailed animal - 62 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:14,002 Archer? 63 00:03:14,003 --> 00:03:16,504 Nightcrawler! AKA- Archer. 64 00:03:16,505 --> 00:03:17,973 Kurt Wagner, Lana. 65 00:03:17,974 --> 00:03:20,709 Although he can teleport, so the prehensile tail is - 66 00:03:20,710 --> 00:03:22,444 Goddammit we're being followed! 67 00:03:22,445 --> 00:03:24,113 When were you planning to tell me?! 68 00:03:24,114 --> 00:03:25,180 I -- whooaaa! 69 00:03:25,181 --> 00:03:29,017 Look ooouuut! 70 00:03:30,519 --> 00:03:34,422 Oh yeah?! Well -- damn, I had something in Arabic for this... 71 00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:35,791 Wow, that accidentally worked. 72 00:03:35,792 --> 00:03:36,992 Accidentally? 73 00:03:36,993 --> 00:03:39,194 Just drive. There, take that left. 74 00:03:39,195 --> 00:03:40,796 Hang on, I'm swinging back around. 75 00:03:40,797 --> 00:03:42,765 No you're not, why? 76 00:03:42,766 --> 00:03:44,666 Because look in here and tell me the Arabic phrase for 77 00:03:44,667 --> 00:03:47,302 "your mother is a whore and a goatherd is her pimp". 78 00:03:47,553 --> 00:03:49,187 Oh, right, absolutely. 79 00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:52,124 Oh for -- nice, real mature, Lana! 80 00:03:52,125 --> 00:03:55,260 Look, obviously Morrocan intelligence isn't as stoked about 81 00:03:55,261 --> 00:03:58,096 Kazak coming over to ISIS as your mother is so can you please 82 00:03:58,097 --> 00:03:59,297 quit dicking around! 83 00:03:59,298 --> 00:04:00,532 Who's dicking around?! 84 00:04:00,533 --> 00:04:03,135 Me, who's driving this clown car like Parnelli Frickin 85 00:04:03,136 --> 00:04:05,437 Jones, or you, Lana Litterbug! 86 00:04:05,438 --> 00:04:10,975 Archer, I am seriously not in the mood for your bullshit right n-owww! 87 00:04:10,976 --> 00:04:14,479 Oh. Hold on, I'm stopping. 88 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:15,380 Why. 89 00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:18,783 Because according to this we're here. 90 00:04:18,784 --> 00:04:20,618 Are you coming? 91 00:04:20,619 --> 00:04:23,321 No, but I'm breathing fast. 92 00:04:24,257 --> 00:04:29,827 Get it? Lana, did you get it? Lana? 93 00:04:29,828 --> 00:04:32,830 Or were you just trying not to laugh because you're cranky for some reason. 94 00:04:32,831 --> 00:04:35,434 I'm cranky because I didn't sleep- Inaccurate. 95 00:04:35,435 --> 00:04:38,670 -- and now I can't sleep, because I'm pretty sure I have a concussion! 96 00:04:38,671 --> 00:04:39,571 Wait, seriously? 97 00:04:39,572 --> 00:04:41,739 Yes, Archer, my head totally kills. 98 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:43,808 Well that's not good- Wait, seriously? 99 00:04:43,809 --> 00:04:46,978 -- because Tangier's totally awesome- Wildly inaccurate. 100 00:04:46,979 --> 00:04:50,348 -- but it's probably not the best place to receive medical treatment. 101 00:04:50,349 --> 00:04:54,186 So what say we grab this Kazak guy and get out of this flyblown shithole. 102 00:04:54,187 --> 00:04:55,820 Okay, but you're missing out on all the great 103 00:04:55,821 --> 00:04:57,822 things Tangier has to offer. 104 00:04:57,823 --> 00:04:58,856 Name one. 105 00:04:58,857 --> 00:05:03,195 Besides cheap hash and a repulsingly low age of consent. 106 00:05:03,196 --> 00:05:03,928 Rugs? 107 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:07,165 - Okay... - Shooting me's not gonna change the unbeatableness 108 00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:08,666 of their rug prices. 109 00:05:08,667 --> 00:05:11,369 It might change my mood- To remorseful? 110 00:05:11,370 --> 00:05:14,239 -- but I drew because we don't know what's waiting for us behind this - 111 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:17,309 - Door. Ya know... - Grrowwrrrgrrl! 112 00:05:17,310 --> 00:05:18,042 Ungh! 113 00:05:18,043 --> 00:05:19,043 Lana! 114 00:05:19,044 --> 00:05:19,944 Archer? 115 00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:22,514 - Grrrrrrrr... - How ya dooin, buddy? 116 00:05:22,515 --> 00:05:24,516 I'll be better when you shoot him. 117 00:05:24,517 --> 00:05:28,019 - I was talking to hiiim, stupid... - Great, then I'll shoo - 118 00:05:28,020 --> 00:05:28,720 Grrowwoofwoofwoofrowwrr! 119 00:05:28,721 --> 00:05:35,560 - I don't think he likes guuuuns... - Okay, that's -- stop, 120 00:05:35,561 --> 00:05:38,863 c'mon, cut it -Archer get the damn dog off my tits! 121 00:05:38,864 --> 00:05:41,133 Here boy! C'mon buddy! 122 00:05:41,134 --> 00:05:44,669 Uh, heel? I don't think he speaks English. 123 00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:46,538 Well what's "get off" in Arabic?! 124 00:05:46,539 --> 00:05:49,574 She asked, regretfully, remembering that just moments earlier she'd 125 00:05:49,575 --> 00:05:52,177 thrown away his eleven-dollar phrasebook. 126 00:05:52,178 --> 00:05:53,578 Oh for the -- grrrrt off! 127 00:05:53,579 --> 00:05:56,047 Oof! Who's a good boy? 128 00:05:56,048 --> 00:05:57,982 Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy good boy good boy? 129 00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,384 Ugh, I thought you hated dogs. 130 00:05:59,385 --> 00:06:00,018 I love dogs, Lana. 131 00:06:00,019 --> 00:06:02,053 Except Mother's dog. Hated that dog. 132 00:06:02,054 --> 00:06:04,656 Because she loved it more than you? 133 00:06:04,657 --> 00:06:06,158 Ha ha, very funny. 134 00:06:06,159 --> 00:06:14,732 Although, she never forgot the dog's birthday... 135 00:06:14,733 --> 00:06:16,668 Can we please just do this? 136 00:06:16,669 --> 00:06:17,369 Grrowwoofwoofwoofrowwrr! 137 00:06:17,370 --> 00:06:18,236 Aagh! 138 00:06:18,237 --> 00:06:19,571 What're you-- Lana put it away! 139 00:06:19,572 --> 00:06:21,206 Alright okay okay alright already! 140 00:06:21,207 --> 00:06:24,442 See? He really doesn't like guns, Lana, he can't stress that enough. 141 00:06:24,443 --> 00:06:27,412 Well what are we supposed to do if Kazak doesn't wanna come with us? 142 00:06:27,413 --> 00:06:29,581 Feed him to Cujo here, he can poop him out when we get 143 00:06:29,582 --> 00:06:33,285 home. Who's a poopy boy, who's a poopy boy? 144 00:06:33,286 --> 00:06:36,821 Shit-breath slobberin-ass mutt... - Don't listen to her, 145 00:06:36,822 --> 00:06:41,593 she's- Wow, but you could use a tic-tac. 146 00:06:41,594 --> 00:06:45,129 Kazak? Hello? Kazak. 147 00:06:45,130 --> 00:06:46,130 Kazak! 148 00:06:46,131 --> 00:06:47,399 Woowoowoowoowoof! 149 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:48,700 Get away from me, what're you doing?! 150 00:06:48,701 --> 00:06:49,701 What're you doing?! 151 00:06:49,702 --> 00:06:51,903 Lana, you can't beckon him and then rebuff him! 152 00:06:51,904 --> 00:06:53,104 Beckon and rebuff whom. 153 00:06:53,105 --> 00:06:53,805 Kazak. 154 00:06:53,806 --> 00:06:54,806 Woof? 155 00:06:54,807 --> 00:06:57,975 Noooo, he's not-- he cannot be Kazak. 156 00:06:57,976 --> 00:07:00,745 He can according to his nametag. 157 00:07:00,746 --> 00:07:03,582 Son of a... bitch! 158 00:07:03,583 --> 00:07:05,283 Woowoowoowoowoof! 159 00:07:05,284 --> 00:07:09,621 Well, technically she's right. Who's a sonuvabitch? Are you a 160 00:07:09,622 --> 00:07:11,155 sonuvabitch? 161 00:07:11,156 --> 00:07:12,123 Woof! 162 00:07:12,124 --> 00:07:15,059 Lana, look! He thinks he's people! 163 00:07:19,074 --> 00:07:23,111 Nooo, no, no, no no, nooo. 164 00:07:23,112 --> 00:07:27,882 I did not sign on to be a dogsitter for -- who's frickin dog is this?! 165 00:07:27,883 --> 00:07:32,420 Who gives a shit, Lana, he's like the Pélé of, lemme finish, fetch! 166 00:07:32,421 --> 00:07:33,054 Woof! 167 00:07:33,055 --> 00:07:35,156 Well I will if you bring it here! I can't throw it 168 00:07:35,157 --> 00:07:36,557 if it's in your mouth! 169 00:07:36,558 --> 00:07:37,591 Woowoowoof! 170 00:07:37,592 --> 00:07:39,394 Why didn't you become a vet? 171 00:07:39,395 --> 00:07:40,929 Honestly? Didn't have the grades. 172 00:07:40,930 --> 00:07:42,297 No shit. 173 00:07:42,298 --> 00:07:44,399 Why would I lie about that? And who're you calling? 174 00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:45,766 Who do you think. 175 00:07:45,767 --> 00:07:49,537 Ask her if we can keep him. 176 00:07:49,538 --> 00:07:50,471 Ms. 177 00:07:50,472 --> 00:07:52,240 Archer, Lana for you, line one. 178 00:07:52,241 --> 00:07:53,441 I'm not here. 179 00:07:53,442 --> 00:07:57,109 Ooohhhh! Then... how...? 180 00:07:57,112 --> 00:08:00,711 Oh for the love, obviously I am here-- 181 00:08:00,715 --> 00:08:01,549 Whew... 182 00:08:01,550 --> 00:08:03,484 -- I just don't wish to speak to her! 183 00:08:03,485 --> 00:08:07,155 - But you are here... - Aht! If you walk over 184 00:08:07,156 --> 00:08:09,991 here and touch me, you'll spend your lunch hour being fitted 185 00:08:09,992 --> 00:08:11,659 for a prosthetic hand. 186 00:08:11,660 --> 00:08:15,129 I only get forty-five minutes. But I'll tell her 187 00:08:15,130 --> 00:08:18,433 you're not here. But you are, right? 188 00:08:18,434 --> 00:08:19,233 Out! 189 00:08:19,234 --> 00:08:20,335 Ahh! 190 00:08:20,336 --> 00:08:22,903 I assume Lana's mad because Sterling's pushing her 191 00:08:22,904 --> 00:08:25,139 buttons. What a surprise. 192 00:08:25,140 --> 00:08:29,143 - Speaking of... - You finally saved enough money for a sex change. 193 00:08:29,144 --> 00:08:33,747 - No. I'm actually broker than usual... - Nine...! 194 00:08:33,748 --> 00:08:35,183 Ten...! She's out! 195 00:08:36,318 --> 00:08:40,821 - Uht? Pungash bishiz... - But I'm very comfortable 196 00:08:40,822 --> 00:08:44,993 in my own body, thank you very much, and- Don't thank me, thank - 197 00:08:44,994 --> 00:08:48,696 And before you say- May I finish?! Archer 198 00:08:48,697 --> 00:08:51,866 Daniels Midland, now what do you want, I'm extremely busy. 199 00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:52,933 To be a field agent! 200 00:08:52,934 --> 00:08:54,535 I'm sorry? 201 00:08:54,536 --> 00:08:55,703 You should be! 202 00:08:55,704 --> 00:08:58,506 How was I supposed to know it was gonna make him do that?! 203 00:09:00,476 --> 00:09:02,110 Stuffing him full of street kebabs?! 204 00:09:02,111 --> 00:09:06,881 A, it was kufta, and bee- elzebub's asshole, Kazak! 205 00:09:06,882 --> 00:09:08,282 Bad dog! Bad dog! 206 00:09:11,353 --> 00:09:13,721 Sorry buddy, I didn't mean that, I- I did! It's bad enough 207 00:09:13,722 --> 00:09:16,024 your mother sends me on this bullshit mission, but now she 208 00:09:16,025 --> 00:09:17,725 won't even take my call?! 209 00:09:17,726 --> 00:09:20,895 Lana, New York's five hours behind, maybe she's not in the office yet. 210 00:09:20,896 --> 00:09:22,830 Oh please, she's totally there! 211 00:09:22,831 --> 00:09:24,032 Wh-? 212 00:09:24,033 --> 00:09:24,665 Out! 213 00:09:24,666 --> 00:09:25,666 Just checking! 214 00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:26,734 God! 215 00:09:26,735 --> 00:09:33,007 - Idiot. As I was saying... - I'm! Sorry! And I'm sure I - 216 00:09:33,008 --> 00:09:37,678 -- ugh, also speak for Kazak, who, by the way, is the real victim here. 217 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:39,980 How is he the victim?! 218 00:09:39,981 --> 00:09:42,883 Lana, his nose is like a jillion times more sensitive than ours! 219 00:09:43,885 --> 00:09:47,588 - Gotta be killing him... - Well before I kill him, 220 00:09:47,589 --> 00:09:50,724 and you, just get us to the port. Hopefully the stupid boat 221 00:09:50,725 --> 00:09:52,160 to Spain has aspirin. 222 00:09:52,161 --> 00:09:53,027 What boat? 223 00:09:53,028 --> 00:09:55,096 What what boat, the boat boat! 224 00:09:55,097 --> 00:09:57,098 Wow, you might actually be concussed, because 225 00:09:57,099 --> 00:09:58,533 that was not a real sentence. 226 00:09:58,534 --> 00:09:59,267 Archer? 227 00:09:59,268 --> 00:10:01,669 And the boat's not a boat, Lana, it's a frickin 228 00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:03,704 hovercraft! Woohoohoohoooo! 229 00:10:03,705 --> 00:10:05,573 Woowoowoowooowoowooowooo! 230 00:10:05,574 --> 00:10:10,411 Woohoo... oh. But, boat or not-boat... We won't be getting on it. 231 00:10:10,412 --> 00:10:12,380 A... roadblock?! 232 00:10:12,381 --> 00:10:14,282 So, guess we're driving through the desert to 233 00:10:14,283 --> 00:10:16,117 the backup extraction point. 234 00:10:16,118 --> 00:10:16,850 Rrowrf. 235 00:10:18,454 --> 00:10:19,787 uhh, uhh. 236 00:10:19,788 --> 00:10:23,191 Sorry. I know you had your heart set on that hovercraft ride. 237 00:10:23,192 --> 00:10:25,960 But why on earth do you think you're qualified to 238 00:10:25,961 --> 00:10:28,096 be an ISIS field agent?! 239 00:10:28,097 --> 00:10:29,797 Uh, besides Cyril's one? 240 00:10:29,798 --> 00:10:32,066 - Hey... - Cyril? Ya wanna fresh one? 241 00:10:32,067 --> 00:10:33,134 I do not, no. 242 00:10:33,135 --> 00:10:37,371 Then shut your fist-hole, and show Ms. Archer how I did on the IFAAB. 243 00:10:37,372 --> 00:10:42,276 The ISIS Field Agent Aptitude Battery? You took it? 244 00:10:42,277 --> 00:10:46,280 You aced it?! No, but -- this can't -- you cheated! 245 00:10:46,281 --> 00:10:50,918 How?! Everybody watched me take it! Under sterile conditions, by the way! 246 00:10:50,919 --> 00:10:55,789 Well... 247 00:10:55,790 --> 00:11:01,462 - What. Punkass bitches... - Sterile test conditions, anyway. 248 00:11:01,463 --> 00:11:03,331 But I can promise she didn't cheat. 249 00:11:03,332 --> 00:11:05,500 Be that as it -- hm. 250 00:11:05,501 --> 00:11:12,406 Hmm. Hmmmm? This means nothing, My God, a perfect score on the 251 00:11:12,407 --> 00:11:16,210 IFAAB merely indicates that a person is a candidate for field agent 252 00:11:16,211 --> 00:11:19,647 status, it can't determine if they're suited for actual 253 00:11:19,648 --> 00:11:24,452 field work. I mean, what if she had to subdue an enemy agent? 254 00:11:24,453 --> 00:11:29,190 Cue sad trombone, aaaaaaaaaaaand-Go! 255 00:11:29,191 --> 00:11:31,959 Aaaaaagh! 256 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:39,634 Pam! What the hell did you -- waagh! 257 00:11:39,635 --> 00:11:43,771 - My God... - And it goes on like that, for another thirty-eight 258 00:11:43,772 --> 00:11:45,506 soul-cleaving minutes. 259 00:11:45,507 --> 00:11:47,208 Of which you were there for two. 260 00:11:47,209 --> 00:11:51,345 Three! I was scared, I ran away, sue me. And then 261 00:11:51,346 --> 00:11:53,847 sue me for this! Smoke bomb! 262 00:11:53,848 --> 00:11:56,584 So you aced the test and beat up a nazi, a nerd, and 263 00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:58,653 queen of the robots- Heeyyy! 264 00:11:58,654 --> 00:12:02,890 If the saddle oxford and/or ruby slipper fits! Mister and/or 265 00:12:02,891 --> 00:12:06,561 missy! What makes you think I need another field agent? 266 00:12:06,562 --> 00:12:07,795 I quit. 267 00:12:07,796 --> 00:12:11,499 Lana believe me, nobody wanted to ride a hovercraft more than me, but - 268 00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:13,767 Stop the car! I'm serious, I'm- I'm serious, calm the 269 00:12:13,768 --> 00:12:17,104 hell down! Here, hit this hashbrown, that creepy old dude 270 00:12:17,105 --> 00:12:20,508 put his lips on it, but- Archer stop the goddamn car! 271 00:12:20,509 --> 00:12:24,478 Lana put the gun down, he's gonna- Yipe! 272 00:12:24,479 --> 00:12:28,115 - Stoppin the caaar, buuuddies... - Sorry about that, 273 00:12:28,116 --> 00:12:30,884 furface. Wouldn't have shot you for a gazillion bucks. 274 00:12:30,885 --> 00:12:31,519 Rrowr? 275 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:32,587 You, not so much. 276 00:12:32,588 --> 00:12:36,257 Lana c'mon, we both know you're- Quitting, Archer, yes, exactly. 277 00:12:36,258 --> 00:12:39,927 Oh. I was gonna say "not quitting." 278 00:12:39,928 --> 00:12:41,195 Wildlier inaccurate. 279 00:12:41,196 --> 00:12:45,533 "Wildlier" isn't a real word, by the way. At least not in English. 280 00:12:45,534 --> 00:12:46,867 Rrowr? 281 00:12:46,868 --> 00:12:50,037 I dunno, she threw away my phraseboo- 282 00:12:50,038 --> 00:12:51,572 Almost kind of wishing she'd shot you. 283 00:12:51,573 --> 00:12:52,540 Roowr. 284 00:12:52,541 --> 00:12:55,843 No, no, no, I'm kidding Who's my stinky boy, huh? 285 00:12:55,844 --> 00:12:57,878 Who's my... 286 00:12:57,879 --> 00:13:01,282 So hey, I know we kid around a lot, but I think you 287 00:13:01,283 --> 00:13:02,783 might have dog cancer. 288 00:13:07,539 --> 00:13:11,508 No way, I'm not going back for her. You're new here, 289 00:13:11,509 --> 00:13:14,645 but Lana cries wolf on quitting ISIS like twice a week. 290 00:13:14,646 --> 00:13:15,446 Rowr. 291 00:13:15,447 --> 00:13:18,049 She'll be fine. She's got... oh. 292 00:13:18,050 --> 00:13:22,453 I was gonna say GPS, gun, sat-phone, and canteen full of lifesaving water. 293 00:13:22,454 --> 00:13:23,421 Rowr. 294 00:13:23,422 --> 00:13:26,123 Well?! She's the one who stormed off into the desert 295 00:13:26,124 --> 00:13:30,461 with no GPS, no gun, no sat- phone and no lifesaving water, 296 00:13:30,462 --> 00:13:33,831 and why the hell are you taking her side, she jammed a gun in your - 297 00:13:33,832 --> 00:13:34,665 Rrowrf. 298 00:13:35,467 --> 00:13:38,802 So, were you whining about Lana being an idiot or 299 00:13:38,803 --> 00:13:40,571 about you being carsick? 300 00:13:40,572 --> 00:13:44,375 Rrf. 301 00:13:44,376 --> 00:13:46,143 How much frickin kufta did you eat?! 302 00:13:46,144 --> 00:13:46,944 Ruff! 303 00:13:46,945 --> 00:13:50,348 Well? Whose fault is that?! Okay, so maybe I egged 304 00:13:50,349 --> 00:13:53,084 you on to eat five orders of it, and... maybe I push Lana's 305 00:13:53,085 --> 00:13:56,887 buttons on purpose, and just generally make her life hell... 306 00:13:56,888 --> 00:14:00,757 Which maybe I do, possibly, if I'm being completely honest, 307 00:14:00,758 --> 00:14:05,096 because I still have some pretty strong- Ah, God damn, dude. Okay, 308 00:14:05,097 --> 00:14:12,669 we'll go back for her. But not because you said so! 309 00:14:12,670 --> 00:14:17,041 Because you let him, you let him push your buttons. 310 00:14:17,042 --> 00:14:22,513 That's why you stormed off with no GPS, gun, phone, or lifesaving water. 311 00:14:22,514 --> 00:14:27,051 And that's why you died in the desert. Holy shit I'm 312 00:14:27,052 --> 00:14:31,655 gonna die in the desert. Just like Cheryl's gypsy woman said! 313 00:14:31,656 --> 00:14:36,494 How. Would I ever. Die in a dessert. 314 00:14:36,495 --> 00:14:40,197 Well, pretty close. And you're not gonna die out here, 315 00:14:40,198 --> 00:14:41,632 because any minute now... aha! 316 00:14:41,633 --> 00:14:42,533 Haaa! 317 00:14:42,534 --> 00:14:48,239 Archer's gonna come crawling back to you, tail between his legs, from - From 318 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:51,509 the wrong direction. Oh, shit. 319 00:14:51,510 --> 00:14:55,046 Oh, shit. 320 00:14:55,047 --> 00:14:58,416 Wait wait wait, shut up, what? What are you talking about?! 321 00:14:58,417 --> 00:15:02,086 I dunno, like maybe a gigantic chocolate mousse, or - 322 00:15:02,087 --> 00:15:03,421 I said desert! 323 00:15:03,422 --> 00:15:05,822 Oh. Still pretty close. 324 00:15:05,823 --> 00:15:07,824 Will you put Mother on the damn phone?! 325 00:15:07,825 --> 00:15:09,560 What's the magic woooord? 326 00:15:09,561 --> 00:15:11,529 Oh for the --please! 327 00:15:11,530 --> 00:15:13,330 No, they changed it. 328 00:15:13,331 --> 00:15:19,070 Cheryl, you stupid [beeeeeeeeeeeep] 329 00:15:19,071 --> 00:15:21,272 Lucky guess. 330 00:15:21,273 --> 00:15:23,140 Plus I'm a quick learner plus you've seen me drive I'm 331 00:15:23,141 --> 00:15:25,809 an amazing driver plus I almost never get sick plus I already 332 00:15:25,810 --> 00:15:28,946 bought three pantsuits plus- Alright! I'll think about it! 333 00:15:28,947 --> 00:15:30,781 Is that a real you'll think about it, or a "Pam if 334 00:15:30,782 --> 00:15:33,817 your pig Leon wins a blue ribbon at the county fair maybe 335 00:15:33,818 --> 00:15:36,454 we won't kill him and eat him for Easter dinner and render 336 00:15:36,455 --> 00:15:40,224 what's left into soap" you'll think about it? 337 00:15:40,225 --> 00:15:42,426 It's- Because I never really got over that. 338 00:15:42,427 --> 00:15:45,396 It's a real one- Yaaaaaay! 339 00:15:45,397 --> 00:15:48,899 -- but thank you for that glimpse into your bleak, farmy childhood. 340 00:15:48,900 --> 00:15:53,270 It was actually pretty awesome. And if I'm being honest, so was Leon. 341 00:15:53,271 --> 00:15:54,938 Get out. What. 342 00:15:54,939 --> 00:15:56,471 Mother? Mother it's Sterling, don't talk just... 343 00:15:56,475 --> 00:15:58,309 Ohhhh no! 344 00:15:58,310 --> 00:16:02,379 Guess I had that coming. 345 00:16:02,380 --> 00:16:05,149 - You must really think I'm an idiot... - Well, your 346 00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:07,551 words Mother, but my voicemail doesn't call you. 347 00:16:07,552 --> 00:16:11,722 Oh right. What's going on, did you get Kazak, are you on the boat yet? 348 00:16:11,723 --> 00:16:14,625 Okay, in order, I'll get to that, yes, no, and 349 00:16:14,626 --> 00:16:17,528 it's not a boat, it's a- Hovercraft, whatever, 350 00:16:17,529 --> 00:16:18,395 why aren't you people on it?! 351 00:16:18,396 --> 00:16:21,865 Well for starters, some of us aren't people! But they think they 352 00:16:21,866 --> 00:16:24,168 are! Yes they do! Yes they do! 353 00:16:24,169 --> 00:16:26,003 Yes they - Sterling! 354 00:16:26,004 --> 00:16:29,940 Oh, so anyway, Lana quit, and- She -- what'd you do this time?! 355 00:16:29,941 --> 00:16:31,975 Nothing! She quit because you made us fly to 356 00:16:31,976 --> 00:16:34,978 Morocco, coach, by the way, and don't even get me started on 357 00:16:34,979 --> 00:16:39,683 that! For a dog! You know how insulting that is?! A stupid dog?! 358 00:16:39,684 --> 00:16:41,652 Wh-? Is this about the carriage ride?! 359 00:16:41,653 --> 00:16:44,655 The -- I mean, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a factor! But - 360 00:16:44,656 --> 00:16:46,390 Let me tell you something about that so-called 361 00:16:46,391 --> 00:16:50,661 - "stupid" dog, mister man... - Are you -- that's all 362 00:16:50,662 --> 00:16:54,632 we were after?! Well?! You could've told us, Mother! Oh! 363 00:16:54,633 --> 00:16:58,469 And you could've told me you just took her to the stupid vet! 364 00:16:58,470 --> 00:17:03,040 Whoooo just had a lovely birthday carriage ride through Central Paaark? 365 00:17:03,041 --> 00:17:03,674 Woof! 366 00:17:03,675 --> 00:17:08,379 Yes she did! Yes she did! 367 00:17:08,380 --> 00:17:11,348 - Grrrrrrrr... - Whatever, look, we're 368 00:17:11,349 --> 00:17:14,051 not gonna make it to the backup extraction point, so get a fix 369 00:17:14,052 --> 00:17:17,120 on my signal and reroute the chopper to those coordinates! 370 00:17:17,121 --> 00:17:19,956 Okay, rerouting now, ETA ten minutes. 371 00:17:19,957 --> 00:17:24,562 Whenever, we'll be here... One way or the other. 372 00:17:24,563 --> 00:17:26,363 So hey, how you doin on the kufta? 373 00:17:26,364 --> 00:17:27,164 Rrf. 374 00:17:27,165 --> 00:17:31,635 Yeah good, get it all out now. Because this next part's gonna suck. 375 00:17:33,905 --> 00:17:41,545 Archerrrr! 376 00:17:41,546 --> 00:17:46,383 See?! That's why I said scrooch down! Lana! Lana scrooch down! 377 00:17:46,384 --> 00:17:51,755 No no no, Archer don't Are you out of your mind?! 378 00:17:51,756 --> 00:17:52,723 No! 379 00:17:52,724 --> 00:17:57,728 Although I am out of ammo. Okay buddy, so here's the deal! 380 00:17:57,729 --> 00:18:00,497 A, scrooch down! And B, normally in this situation I 381 00:18:00,498 --> 00:18:02,999 do a a pit maneuver, but if I do that the truck will flip, 382 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,802 and if Lana doesn't die, best case she's a quadriplegic and I 383 00:18:05,803 --> 00:18:08,272 marry her out of guilt but after a few years of feeding 384 00:18:08,273 --> 00:18:11,007 tubes and colostomy bags I start to resent her and the 385 00:18:11,008 --> 00:18:13,577 night nurse is like, Brazilian and twenty? 386 00:18:13,578 --> 00:18:15,279 - Grrrr... - Don't judge me! I have 387 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,148 needs, man! The point is, and it might be a kinda shitty 388 00:18:18,149 --> 00:18:21,352 plan, but I'm gonna jump on the truck, so I need you to take the - 389 00:18:21,353 --> 00:18:22,085 Grrowwrrrgrrl! 390 00:18:22,086 --> 00:18:24,588 -- wheel, exactly, so... Kazak? 391 00:18:24,589 --> 00:18:26,557 Aaaggghhhh! 392 00:18:26,558 --> 00:18:27,891 Grrowwrrghhh! 393 00:18:27,892 --> 00:18:30,894 Lana, look! He thinks he's vampires! 394 00:18:30,895 --> 00:18:33,464 Grrowwrrgh! 395 00:18:33,465 --> 00:18:35,566 Lana look ooouuut! 396 00:18:35,567 --> 00:18:38,769 Kazaaaaaaaak! 397 00:18:38,770 --> 00:18:42,439 Ungh, 398 00:18:53,351 --> 00:18:55,686 Nah, guys probably got nine wives and a jillion 399 00:18:55,687 --> 00:18:59,590 kids and.. holy shit, that's racist Archer, what is wrong with you? 400 00:18:59,591 --> 00:19:01,392 - Seriously... - Lana! 401 00:19:01,393 --> 00:19:04,895 Archer, thank- God is he hit, tell me he's not hit! 402 00:19:04,896 --> 00:19:05,629 He's fine. 403 00:19:05,630 --> 00:19:06,597 Woof! 404 00:19:06,598 --> 00:19:09,287 As am I, not that you give a shit. 405 00:19:09,407 --> 00:19:12,535 - Shhh. Lana, don't ruin the moment... - What moment, what're you 406 00:19:12,655 --> 00:19:13,641 -- ahhh. 407 00:19:13,758 --> 00:19:16,258 What're you doing, what is that? 408 00:19:16,308 --> 00:19:18,948 Microfilm. It was on his collar the whole time, 409 00:19:18,995 --> 00:19:21,829 something about nukes in Pakistan or -- one of the 410 00:19:21,831 --> 00:19:25,498 akistans, I forget which one. Owwww! 411 00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:31,637 My point is sometimes we do good work. So promise me you'll never quit again. 412 00:19:31,639 --> 00:19:36,777 Only if you promise you'll quit being such a colossal asshole. 413 00:19:36,779 --> 00:19:39,113 Mmmm. 414 00:19:39,115 --> 00:19:40,481 I can't. 415 00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:46,955 - Ya know... - Woowoowoowoowoowoowoof! 416 00:19:46,957 --> 00:19:48,123 What. 417 00:19:53,396 --> 00:20:03,636 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 418 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,083 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 419 00:20:08,305 --> 00:21:08,379 Someone needs to stop Clearway Law. Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.