1
00:00:02,265 --> 00:00:04,834
Time and
tide, they wait for no man.
2
00:00:04,835 --> 00:00:08,137
Nor do I, Mr. Tunt, nor do I.
And unless my demands are
3
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:11,307
met, I will launch my nerve
gas missiles on New York,
4
00:00:11,308 --> 00:00:15,177
Washington and Miami in...
Eleven hours and -- oh look at
5
00:00:15,178 --> 00:00:17,780
that, eleven minutes.
Hey, make a wish.
6
00:00:17,781 --> 00:00:21,150
Uh, I wish you wouldn't
launch nerve gas missiles on
7
00:00:21,151 --> 00:00:23,351
New York, Washing-
And I wish you fools
8
00:00:23,471 --> 00:00:27,757
would stop destroying the oceans! Overfishing,
industrial runoff, don't even get me
9
00:00:27,758 --> 00:00:31,231
started on whaling, oh, and
plastic bottles?! That's --
10
00:00:31,351 --> 00:00:35,197
I can't even - there is a floating
mass of garbage in the Pacific
11
00:00:35,198 --> 00:00:38,334
twice the size of the United States!
Oh, and where the hell
12
00:00:38,335 --> 00:00:40,202
is the news crew I asked for?!
13
00:00:40,203 --> 00:00:44,640
With me! And with your permission,
I'm sending them down in the DSV.
14
00:00:44,641 --> 00:00:47,610
Good, yes! I need to
get my message to the world!
15
00:00:47,611 --> 00:00:49,078
Who'd you get? Oprah?
16
00:00:49,079 --> 00:00:50,312
Bigger.
17
00:00:50,313 --> 00:00:52,615
- Ya know...
- Hello. Is that her?
18
00:00:52,616 --> 00:00:55,585
I -- oh right,
he can't see us.
19
00:00:55,586 --> 00:00:58,821
Which has really got me...
nettled!
20
00:00:58,822 --> 00:01:05,862
Alright, Mr. Tunt, send them down.
But if this is some sort of ruse...
21
00:01:05,863 --> 00:01:09,264
Are -- was there
a follow-up, or...?
22
00:01:09,265 --> 00:01:11,000
No, I was leaving
the consequences to your
23
00:01:11,001 --> 00:01:16,105
imagination. But trust me, they are grave.
As in watery grave?
24
00:01:16,106 --> 00:01:18,440
I -
Sealab out!
25
00:01:18,441 --> 00:01:21,844
God damn it! Off! Turn
off, you...
26
00:01:21,845 --> 00:01:26,248
- So, I have a question...
- How are none of these a minibar?!
27
00:01:26,249 --> 00:01:29,218
Oh my God, I know what
you mean, right? I mean it is a
28
00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:30,920
giant floating biodiesel-
29
00:01:30,921 --> 00:01:32,555
powered hotel room...
30
00:01:32,556 --> 00:01:33,723
Don't get snotty with
31
00:01:33,724 --> 00:01:36,792
me, missy! You people lure us
out here to help the government
32
00:01:36,793 --> 00:01:39,562
recover a hydrogen bomb-
Which, let's be honest,
33
00:01:39,563 --> 00:01:40,997
you were going to
hold for ransom.
34
00:01:40,998 --> 00:01:43,733
Reward! When the whole
time you knew this crazy Murphy
35
00:01:43,734 --> 00:01:46,636
character was going to bomb
New York with nerve gas?!
36
00:01:46,637 --> 00:01:47,302
Well!
37
00:01:47,303 --> 00:01:49,104
Not to mention D.C.
and Miami.
38
00:01:49,105 --> 00:01:50,840
Which no one
who matters will miss.
39
00:01:50,841 --> 00:01:52,474
What about your
South Beach condo?
40
00:01:52,475 --> 00:01:55,177
Hello! Florida real
estate collapse! It's farther
41
00:01:55,178 --> 00:01:59,114
underwater than Sealab. But if
my homeowner's policy covers
42
00:01:59,115 --> 00:02:01,350
nerve gas attacks,
that's a win-win.
43
00:02:01,351 --> 00:02:05,588
Wow. So my question,
ignoring the obvious one of why
44
00:02:05,589 --> 00:02:08,190
an ocean research lab has nerve
gas missiles in the first
45
00:02:08,191 --> 00:02:12,327
place! Is how many men
does Murphy have?
46
00:02:12,328 --> 00:02:14,830
Mmmmmlike, two?
47
00:02:14,831 --> 00:02:15,965
Oh, then -
48
00:02:15,966 --> 00:02:17,466
Score. Two score, so
49
00:02:17,467 --> 00:02:20,135
around forty, sorry, should've
50
00:02:20,136 --> 00:02:21,303
finished that thmmpf.
51
00:02:21,304 --> 00:02:24,473
Sooo, since we're talking
about forty hostiles, I
52
00:02:24,474 --> 00:02:25,841
have a follow up question.
53
00:02:25,842 --> 00:02:28,878
Something
something danger zone?!
54
00:02:28,879 --> 00:02:31,847
- Ahhhhh!
- I know, I'm not even trying anymore.
55
00:02:31,848 --> 00:02:34,116
Archer-
Noop! Randy! I'm
56
00:02:34,117 --> 00:02:36,285
Cameradude Randy, and this
57
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:40,056
pathetic, trout-shouldered excuse
for a boom operator is Chet.
58
00:02:40,057 --> 00:02:42,692
Shut up, what's
pathetic is your plan!
59
00:02:42,693 --> 00:02:44,994
Wait, you have
an actual plan?
60
00:02:44,995 --> 00:02:47,930
Duh, yes Lana. So,
obviously they're gonna search
61
00:02:47,931 --> 00:02:52,367
us for weapons when we get down
there, so wait whaaaaaaaat?
62
00:02:52,368 --> 00:02:54,436
Something else danger zone.
63
00:02:54,437 --> 00:02:56,405
Get Murphy alone, get
him at gunpoint, and make him
64
00:02:56,406 --> 00:02:59,208
disarm the missiles. Ya know,
that might actually work.
65
00:02:59,209 --> 00:03:02,712
Of course it'll work, I've thought
through every aspect of the mission.
66
00:03:02,713 --> 00:03:05,781
Hence those ridiculous
fake mustaches, since Murphy's
67
00:03:05,782 --> 00:03:09,118
never seen you before and has
no idea what you look like?
68
00:03:09,119 --> 00:03:10,853
God damn it, Archer!
69
00:03:10,854 --> 00:03:13,856
No, that was just an experiment.
I wanted to see if Ray looked
70
00:03:13,857 --> 00:03:15,124
gayer without his.
71
00:03:15,125 --> 00:03:20,096
- Ya know...
- But you don't. You just look as gay.
72
00:03:20,097 --> 00:03:21,230
Boop.
73
00:03:21,932 --> 00:03:32,121
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
74
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:40,074
Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports
Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP
75
00:03:56,301 --> 00:03:58,735
Sea Tunt to DSV Goddess.
Wait for my command to
76
00:03:58,736 --> 00:04:00,037
disengage the coupler.
77
00:04:00,038 --> 00:04:02,706
Roger Sea Tunt, on your-
Noop! Lana
78
00:04:02,707 --> 00:04:03,540
move, I'm skippering.
79
00:04:03,541 --> 00:04:06,043
- Archer, no!
- Goddammit I'm skippering!
80
00:04:06,044 --> 00:04:08,478
AAHHHHH!!!
81
00:04:08,479 --> 00:04:12,682
Huh. Mildly
inauspicious.
82
00:04:12,683 --> 00:04:13,683
Asshole.
83
00:04:13,684 --> 00:04:16,453
What Lana, I clearly
called "skipper!" And I clearly
84
00:04:16,454 --> 00:04:20,991
said "seatbelts," so... You
only have yourselves to blame.
85
00:04:20,992 --> 00:04:21,725
Really?
86
00:04:21,726 --> 00:04:23,860
Jesus, Ray!
Your nose is broken!
87
00:04:23,861 --> 00:04:24,661
Really?
88
00:04:24,662 --> 00:04:26,530
Cyril, gear bag!
First aid kit!
89
00:04:26,531 --> 00:04:29,733
Just give him a couple of tampons.
What, that's their job.
90
00:04:29,734 --> 00:04:30,500
Really?
91
00:04:30,501 --> 00:04:32,702
Just give him some tam-
I don't have any!
92
00:04:32,703 --> 00:04:34,738
Do you...
think that was wise?
93
00:04:34,739 --> 00:04:36,006
Meaning?
94
00:04:36,007 --> 00:04:38,342
Well I'm just assuming,
I mean, your breasts
95
00:04:38,343 --> 00:04:40,277
are slightly bigger, you're-
Shut your stupid
96
00:04:40,278 --> 00:04:43,513
mustachey dickhole and drive
the goddamn submarine!
97
00:04:43,514 --> 00:04:45,682
Slightly irritable?
98
00:04:45,683 --> 00:04:47,084
Shut up!
99
00:04:47,085 --> 00:04:49,086
Jesus, will you drop it?!
100
00:04:49,087 --> 00:04:50,921
He tried to have me committed
so he could steal my
101
00:04:50,922 --> 00:04:54,391
inheritance! I hate him and I'm
never speaking to him again ever!
102
00:04:54,392 --> 00:04:57,995
But -- okay granted, that
was super shitty. But trust me,
103
00:04:57,996 --> 00:05:00,197
you don't want to go through
life hating your only sibling.
104
00:05:00,198 --> 00:05:04,034
- Take my sister Edie...
- Ha, ha, ha, you have a sister?
105
00:05:04,035 --> 00:05:06,636
Edie, yes, shut up, and
when we were kids she was so
106
00:05:06,637 --> 00:05:10,274
mean to me? Always teasing me,
calling me Spamela, rubbing
107
00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:13,577
cheese curds in my eyes? One
time she stabbed me in the neck?
108
00:05:13,578 --> 00:05:15,946
So, now you
guys are super-close, or...?
109
00:05:15,947 --> 00:05:18,949
Ha ha ha, hell no, I wouldn't
piss on her neck-stabbin ass if
110
00:05:18,950 --> 00:05:20,217
it was on fire.
111
00:05:20,218 --> 00:05:22,152
Ugh, is this
the infamous Edie?
112
00:05:22,153 --> 00:05:24,121
Yeah, Pam thinks
I should forgive Cecil since
113
00:05:24,122 --> 00:05:25,856
he's the only
family I have left.
114
00:05:25,857 --> 00:05:29,093
Who could forgive a person who
buys a boat this big with no bar on it?!
115
00:05:29,094 --> 00:05:31,495
There was a ton
of booze on the helicopter...
116
00:05:31,496 --> 00:05:35,299
- Exactly, was...
- Yeah sorry, I had to ditch it.
117
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,667
Well yeah, who needs a
first aid kit when you've got
118
00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:38,835
ten gallons of booze?!
119
00:05:38,836 --> 00:05:42,139
Three and three-fifths
gallons, Cyril, and I counted
120
00:05:42,140 --> 00:05:43,573
'em so keep your mitts off!
121
00:05:43,574 --> 00:05:48,178
Except to pass me one up here, but-
Oh great! The world's first DSVUI!
122
00:05:48,179 --> 00:05:50,647
May I finish?! But
since I have zero experience
123
00:05:50,648 --> 00:05:54,018
skippering submersibles, I
should probably have something
124
00:05:54,019 --> 00:05:58,288
light! So Cyril, I'm
thinking coffee liqueur?
125
00:05:58,289 --> 00:06:00,924
I mean, not
even cooking sherry?
126
00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:03,160
I got some Kentucky Moon in my-
Ooh, gimme!
127
00:06:03,161 --> 00:06:05,829
Dut dut dut dut! You drink
it, you replace it. Grain
128
00:06:05,830 --> 00:06:08,432
alcohol's a key component
of a good bug-out bag.
129
00:06:08,433 --> 00:06:09,433
A what?
130
00:06:09,434 --> 00:06:12,969
Bug-out bag? Oh
my God, for teotwaki?!
131
00:06:12,970 --> 00:06:14,505
The bear
from Star Wars?
132
00:06:14,506 --> 00:06:16,873
The end of the
world as we know it!
133
00:06:16,874 --> 00:06:20,444
Pam's like, gay
for doomsday, she thinks our
134
00:06:20,445 --> 00:06:24,381
whole society's gonna collapse if
we run out of oil or whatever.
135
00:06:24,382 --> 00:06:28,352
If?! You mean when!
Wow, and that is a perfect
136
00:06:28,353 --> 00:06:31,055
example of a pre-post-peak-oil
137
00:06:31,056 --> 00:06:32,022
mindset. The --
138
00:06:32,023 --> 00:06:35,292
Ahhh. Say, this stuff
139
00:06:35,293 --> 00:06:37,394
is pretty good. What
did you say it was?
140
00:06:37,395 --> 00:06:38,995
Basically pure ethanol?
141
00:06:38,996 --> 00:06:41,831
Huh. Well God
bless corn subsidies.
142
00:06:41,832 --> 00:06:44,301
Who're
you, Earl Butz?
143
00:06:44,302 --> 00:06:46,403
You say that
like it's a bad thing.
144
00:06:46,404 --> 00:06:48,539
Oh for the--
I said I was sorry!
145
00:06:48,540 --> 00:06:49,906
No you didn't!
146
00:06:49,907 --> 00:06:51,641
Oh. Well I
was planning to.
147
00:06:51,642 --> 00:06:53,043
Oh, well
then no hard feelings.
148
00:06:53,044 --> 00:06:55,279
Good, because your
shitty sarcasm notwithstanding,
149
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,315
I'm glad that's behind us so we
can enjoy what is probably a
150
00:06:58,316 --> 00:07:00,984
once in a lifetime ad-
Rrrowrff!
151
00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:02,519
venture, again?
152
00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,854
Seriously? Why are
you puking so much?
153
00:07:04,855 --> 00:07:06,856
Ugh, because
shut up and steer.
154
00:07:06,857 --> 00:07:08,492
Here, take a
pull off this guy.
155
00:07:08,493 --> 00:07:10,527
No! For the
like, ninth time, no!
156
00:07:10,528 --> 00:07:13,464
Yes, c'mon, it'll take the edge off.
And I think I
157
00:07:13,465 --> 00:07:15,232
speak for everybody-
No you don't.
158
00:07:15,233 --> 00:07:19,169
-- shut up, when I say we'd all
be a lot happier if you weren't so...
159
00:07:19,170 --> 00:07:22,339
What, anxious?! About a
half-drunk first-time-driving-a-
160
00:07:22,340 --> 00:07:25,842
submarine idiot taking me to the
bottom of the ocean to face
161
00:07:25,843 --> 00:07:28,979
forty eco-terrorists led by a
crazy person who's about to
162
00:07:28,980 --> 00:07:33,016
bomb the entire east
coast with nerve gas?!
163
00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:36,853
I was gonna say-
What?! What were you gonna say?!
164
00:07:36,854 --> 00:07:39,289
They're going to say
that I've gone insane, that
165
00:07:39,290 --> 00:07:45,996
I've lost my mind. And that's fine, let them.
Because the real insanity is the
166
00:07:45,997 --> 00:07:49,199
systematic, my God the almost
deliberate way, those bastards
167
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,401
are destroying our oceans.
168
00:07:51,402 --> 00:07:55,705
And I hate that it's come to this, but
I truly don't see an alternative.
169
00:07:55,706 --> 00:08:00,611
So, you all know what you have to
do, and I know you won't fail me.
170
00:08:00,612 --> 00:08:06,216
Nor I you, gentlemen...
nor I you.
171
00:08:07,230 --> 00:08:14,069
I was gonna say "bitchy and
periody" but then I thought better of it.
172
00:08:18,938 --> 00:08:21,406
Okay, we're getting close.
Let's go over
173
00:08:21,407 --> 00:08:22,674
the legends again. Lana?
174
00:08:22,675 --> 00:08:26,678
I am tough-but-fair investigative
reporter Sojourner King.
175
00:08:26,679 --> 00:08:28,347
Which, ugh, whatever.
176
00:08:28,348 --> 00:08:29,547
Cyril?
177
00:08:29,548 --> 00:08:31,884
Chet, sound guy.
178
00:08:31,885 --> 00:08:34,719
That's it? C'mon Chet,
the devil's in the details!
179
00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:38,323
Like, I'm Randy Magnum, local
Emmy-winning cameraman and
180
00:08:38,324 --> 00:08:40,492
nationally ranked
pro kitesurfer.
181
00:08:40,493 --> 00:08:41,326
No you're not.
182
00:08:41,327 --> 00:08:42,494
Well Randy Magnum is!
183
00:08:42,495 --> 00:08:43,461
Ray, go.
184
00:08:43,462 --> 00:08:47,065
- I am segment producer Carl Channing...
- Oh my God, c'mon...
185
00:08:47,066 --> 00:08:49,067
And -- what's
Randy Magnum ranked?
186
00:08:49,068 --> 00:08:50,002
Fourth.
187
00:08:50,003 --> 00:08:52,137
And third-ranked
pro kitesurfer.
188
00:08:52,138 --> 00:08:53,705
What?! No you're not!
189
00:08:53,706 --> 00:08:54,572
Carl Channing is.
190
00:08:54,573 --> 00:08:56,608
Nobody is a nationally
ranked anything! That is the
191
00:08:56,609 --> 00:08:59,644
worst legend you could possibly
have, it would literally take
192
00:08:59,645 --> 00:09:01,346
ten seconds to check it out!
193
00:09:01,347 --> 00:09:02,814
Yeah, Carl.
194
00:09:02,815 --> 00:09:05,417
Okay, shut
up, there it is.
195
00:09:05,418 --> 00:09:08,921
Jeezy Petes,
that thing is huge!
196
00:09:08,922 --> 00:09:10,755
Sealab to DSV, over?
197
00:09:10,756 --> 00:09:12,824
This is-
This is DSV I'm skippering!
198
00:09:12,825 --> 00:09:14,592
Um, okay. You
sound pretty excited.
199
00:09:14,593 --> 00:09:16,895
I am, actually.
It's my first time.
200
00:09:16,896 --> 00:09:18,530
Hey, super.
201
00:09:18,531 --> 00:09:20,933
You're clear to dock, so
just head for the lights.
202
00:09:20,934 --> 00:09:22,734
And I'll be waiting for you.
203
00:09:23,769 --> 00:09:28,540
Was that -- did he sound -- do
you think this is some kind of trap?
204
00:09:28,541 --> 00:09:34,212
What? No, I don't think it's a trap!
Although I never do...
205
00:09:34,213 --> 00:09:35,914
And it very often is.
206
00:09:35,915 --> 00:09:39,918
- And that's how they died...
- Right?
207
00:09:39,919 --> 00:09:44,756
A little peach juice, a little
of that old Kentucky Moon, and... boom.
208
00:09:44,757 --> 00:09:46,925
You've almost got
yourself a Bellini.
209
00:09:46,926 --> 00:09:47,459
Mmmm!
210
00:09:47,460 --> 00:09:49,194
Holy shitsnacks!
211
00:09:49,195 --> 00:09:51,696
Well it's no Harry's
Bar, but here you don't have
212
00:09:51,697 --> 00:09:55,033
Hemingway grabbing
your tits every time you-
213
00:09:55,034 --> 00:09:57,635
Did I misread that?
214
00:09:57,636 --> 00:09:59,704
What do you think?
215
00:09:59,705 --> 00:10:01,106
No?
216
00:10:01,107 --> 00:10:03,108
No, my men
are guarding the missiles.
217
00:10:03,109 --> 00:10:04,476
Well there
goes that plan.
218
00:10:04,477 --> 00:10:05,610
What plan?
219
00:10:05,611 --> 00:10:10,282
To... do a one-on-one interview,
just you alone, with the missiles?
220
00:10:10,283 --> 00:10:12,650
No, we're doing it on the
bridge, I've already got it all set up.
221
00:10:12,651 --> 00:10:14,819
But I really think we
should do it wherever the
222
00:10:14,820 --> 00:10:17,990
missiles are, to underscore
the gravity of the -
223
00:10:17,991 --> 00:10:19,657
The bridge is
where the chair is.
224
00:10:19,658 --> 00:10:22,094
But-
The bridge is where the chair is!
225
00:10:22,095 --> 00:10:23,395
Yeah, Sojourner.
226
00:10:23,396 --> 00:10:24,729
Thank you, uh...?
227
00:10:24,730 --> 00:10:28,166
Randy, Randy Magnum,
I'm a local Emmy-winning
228
00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:30,568
cameraman and nash -
Nooo!
229
00:10:30,569 --> 00:10:33,338
-- shunally ranked pro
kitesurfer, second in the
230
00:10:33,339 --> 00:10:38,410
nation, actually, which even the most
cursory internet search will corroborate.
231
00:10:39,278 --> 00:10:40,645
I really doubt
we'll have time, Randy.
232
00:10:40,646 --> 00:10:44,082
We only have ten hours before
I'll be forced to launch my missiles.
233
00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:46,784
Which are where
again, exactly?
234
00:10:46,785 --> 00:10:47,852
You heard me!
235
00:10:47,853 --> 00:10:49,787
I want fifty million dollars!
236
00:10:49,788 --> 00:10:51,123
Pff, join the club.
237
00:10:51,124 --> 00:10:51,789
Right?
238
00:10:51,790 --> 00:10:54,559
That's how much I could've gotten
for the hydrogen bomb, so that's how
239
00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:57,429
much I -- what do you
mean, join the club?
240
00:10:57,430 --> 00:11:00,165
Oh, that's just an idiom, it means-
I know what it means,
241
00:11:00,166 --> 00:11:02,934
you toboggan-wearing ass,
why did she say it?!
242
00:11:02,935 --> 00:11:05,270
Oh. I assume
because I'm penniless?
243
00:11:05,271 --> 00:11:05,870
What?!
244
00:11:05,871 --> 00:11:08,040
Ha, ha, oh.
245
00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:09,207
Wait, what?
246
00:11:09,208 --> 00:11:11,343
That's why I
tried to get control of your
247
00:11:11,344 --> 00:11:14,712
inheritance. And I'm sorry
I did that, Beans. I just
248
00:11:14,713 --> 00:11:18,483
wanted to help people, but all these
foundations are so expensive.
249
00:11:18,484 --> 00:11:21,219
I know, but Cecil!
You really spent your
250
00:11:21,220 --> 00:11:23,155
whole inheritance on...
the poors?
251
00:11:23,156 --> 00:11:25,857
Well, and scientific research.
The Sealab alone cost
252
00:11:25,858 --> 00:11:27,225
two hundred million.
253
00:11:27,226 --> 00:11:29,661
Wh-?! How did
it cost that much?!
254
00:11:29,662 --> 00:11:31,796
Well apparently they
bought a bunch of nerve gas
255
00:11:31,797 --> 00:11:36,401
missiles, and hid that expense in the budget.
Which I never bothered to read.
256
00:11:36,402 --> 00:11:37,735
Or even look at.
257
00:11:37,736 --> 00:11:39,538
Look at this place!
258
00:11:39,539 --> 00:11:43,141
Such a colossal boondoggle! We
don't do any research, really,
259
00:11:43,142 --> 00:11:46,878
and building it, I mean, the
environmental impact was just insane!
260
00:11:46,879 --> 00:11:49,013
So... why did
you take a job here?
261
00:11:49,014 --> 00:11:51,916
To save the ocean! And
also my salary is six hundred
262
00:11:51,917 --> 00:11:53,552
thousand dollars a year.
263
00:11:53,553 --> 00:11:54,586
What!?
264
00:11:54,587 --> 00:11:57,089
I know, but don't put that in there.
Let me just read
265
00:11:57,090 --> 00:12:00,592
my list of demands. Ahem.
One, a fifty-year, worldwide
266
00:12:00,593 --> 00:12:04,429
moratorium on all fishing. Two-
I'm sorry, did you mean whaling?
267
00:12:04,430 --> 00:12:06,264
That's number
two, if you'll let me -
268
00:12:06,265 --> 00:12:08,133
Wait, you want
to end all fishing?
269
00:12:08,134 --> 00:12:09,434
For fifty years?!
270
00:12:09,435 --> 00:12:12,170
At least. The
fish have to replenish.
271
00:12:12,171 --> 00:12:15,373
Okay, that's it, I'm calling bullshit.
I want to see the missiles, now.
272
00:12:15,374 --> 00:12:18,776
What, no, you can't, you-
You don't have any missiles!
273
00:12:18,777 --> 00:12:21,513
Yes I do! I've got...
like fifty.
274
00:12:21,514 --> 00:12:22,714
Fifty.
275
00:12:22,715 --> 00:12:23,515
Ten?
276
00:12:23,516 --> 00:12:24,382
That's still a lot.
277
00:12:24,383 --> 00:12:29,687
Shut up. Captain Murphy, how long
have you been down here all alone?
278
00:12:29,688 --> 00:12:32,457
Two years.
279
00:12:32,458 --> 00:12:35,527
Nobody had been paid in months,
the foundation was broke...
280
00:12:35,528 --> 00:12:37,395
Not surprising,
given your salary.
281
00:12:37,396 --> 00:12:41,633
Yeah, paid three years in advance.
He is the world's worst negotiator.
282
00:12:41,634 --> 00:12:44,802
And you're, sorry, but
you've obviously had some kind
283
00:12:44,803 --> 00:12:47,672
of psychotic break, so I think
you should come with us, and -
284
00:12:47,673 --> 00:12:50,041
I'm not going anywhere!
Nor are you!
285
00:12:50,042 --> 00:12:51,109
Lanaaa!
286
00:12:51,110 --> 00:12:52,110
Archerrrr!
287
00:12:52,111 --> 00:12:53,211
Murpheeee!
288
00:12:53,212 --> 00:12:57,115
I -- dammit, I had something
about point-and-shoot, but -
289
00:12:57,116 --> 00:13:00,051
A gun?! Are you insane, don't you
know how much pressure we're under?!
290
00:13:00,052 --> 00:13:03,321
Honestly, and I don't know why
this is, but it never really gets to me.
291
00:13:03,322 --> 00:13:05,957
Wait, I think he
means water pressure!
292
00:13:05,958 --> 00:13:09,594
And air pressure! The tiniest
hole in the hull would be catastrophic!
293
00:13:09,595 --> 00:13:11,996
The hole!
Is gonna be in you!
294
00:13:11,997 --> 00:13:12,797
Archer, no! Don't shoot.
295
00:13:12,798 --> 00:13:14,899
Okay okay,
look, it's gone!
296
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:16,701
Now please, put the gun away!
297
00:13:16,702 --> 00:13:19,871
No, I will put on the safety!
Which should be...
298
00:13:19,872 --> 00:13:22,974
dammit, I wish Krieger
wouldn't do these idiot mods.
299
00:13:23,676 --> 00:13:29,080
Duhduhduhduhduhduhduhduh bow dow dow dowwwwwwww!
Dow dow dadowwwwwwwww!
300
00:13:29,081 --> 00:13:31,483
Wait, yeah, that
clearly says "safe," and even
301
00:13:31,484 --> 00:13:33,851
Krieger's not that crazy...
302
00:13:33,852 --> 00:13:37,455
Okay, now slowly
kick the knife over to-
303
00:13:37,456 --> 00:13:37,955
Dammit!
304
00:13:37,956 --> 00:13:39,524
Oh my God...!
305
00:13:39,525 --> 00:13:43,061
Okay, okay, okay, uh,
okay, one of two things is
306
00:13:43,062 --> 00:13:45,129
going to happen now...
307
00:13:45,130 --> 00:13:46,264
Oh! Okay! Oohhh!
308
00:13:46,865 --> 00:13:48,032
Aahhhh!
309
00:13:48,033 --> 00:13:52,870
Okay, now one of one thing
is going to hap-
310
00:13:52,871 --> 00:13:53,438
OHHHH..
311
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:59,277
- Uh? Well now there's no signal at all...
- Wow, oh my God, I'm
312
00:13:59,278 --> 00:14:01,946
having the weirdest
déjà vu right now.
313
00:14:01,947 --> 00:14:02,747
Ya know...
314
00:14:02,748 --> 00:14:03,781
Here, lemme jailbreak
315
00:14:03,782 --> 00:14:05,083
your phone, it's a totally
316
00:14:05,084 --> 00:14:06,651
reversible process.
317
00:14:06,652 --> 00:14:08,353
Oh, bricked it!
318
00:14:11,660 --> 00:14:13,895
OOOOHHHHHH!!!!
319
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:14,997
Hatch!
320
00:14:14,998 --> 00:14:16,831
Emergency hatch!
321
00:14:19,535 --> 00:14:22,070
We don't wanna
go outside, idiot!
322
00:14:22,071 --> 00:14:23,405
It's the next pod!
323
00:14:23,406 --> 00:14:25,307
Oh, duh.
324
00:14:25,308 --> 00:14:27,742
I'll hold it open!
Go, go!
325
00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:29,011
Aaaagh... ungh!
326
00:14:29,012 --> 00:14:30,379
- Aaaagh...
- Aaaagh...
327
00:14:30,380 --> 00:14:33,015
No no no no no -- Assholes.
328
00:14:33,016 --> 00:14:35,884
Wooohooohooohooooooof!
329
00:14:35,885 --> 00:14:37,419
Ow.
330
00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:41,923
Pod One, flooded.
Pod Two, flooding.
331
00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:47,362
So what, now we die in... a break
room I would die to have at ISIS?!
332
00:14:47,363 --> 00:14:48,263
Right?
333
00:14:48,264 --> 00:14:50,365
Maybe not, if he shuts the ha-
Aaaaaaagh!
334
00:14:52,035 --> 00:14:53,001
Ewwww!
335
00:14:53,002 --> 00:14:57,339
- Rrrgh, and I just refilled the cans...
- C'mon you guys,
336
00:14:57,340 --> 00:14:58,273
get it off of him!
337
00:14:58,274 --> 00:15:02,444
- No no, there's no time...
- Plus I think
338
00:15:02,445 --> 00:15:04,946
the weight of it's the only
thing holding in my intestines.
339
00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:05,747
Eww.
340
00:15:05,748 --> 00:15:08,850
Save yourselves. Let
this compartment flood, up to
341
00:15:08,851 --> 00:15:13,288
that next hatch... Then seal
it behind you, and run.
342
00:15:13,289 --> 00:15:16,425
This is pod two, it's about
a hundred yards to the
343
00:15:16,426 --> 00:15:23,231
DSV at pod six, but pods three through
six are still watertigh-
344
00:15:23,232 --> 00:15:27,402
Pod three,
four, five, six. Flooded.
345
00:15:27,403 --> 00:15:28,470
Aaaghhh!
346
00:15:28,471 --> 00:15:32,674
Yeah, that's not ideal.
Okay, there's -wait, why
347
00:15:32,675 --> 00:15:34,609
did a TV crew have a gun?!
348
00:15:34,610 --> 00:15:37,546
We're not a TV
crew, we're from ISIS.
349
00:15:37,547 --> 00:15:40,915
ISIS?! Jesus Christ, no
wonder this all went tits up.
350
00:15:40,916 --> 00:15:41,616
Hey!
351
00:15:41,617 --> 00:15:44,953
Forgive my candor, I
just felt my spleen slip out of
352
00:15:44,954 --> 00:15:49,591
what was my anus. That
locker over there, open it.
353
00:15:49,592 --> 00:15:52,760
Scuba gear!
354
00:15:53,329 --> 00:15:54,028
Dibs on best!
355
00:15:54,029 --> 00:15:56,298
Oooh, y'all I'm not
certified, is that gonna be a problem?
356
00:15:56,299 --> 00:16:01,236
- Well, not the biggest problem...
- There's only three.
357
00:16:01,237 --> 00:16:03,671
- Sooo...
- So one of you is going to drown.
358
00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:05,607
- Yep, got that...
- Temporarily.
359
00:16:05,608 --> 00:16:06,341
What?
360
00:16:06,342 --> 00:16:08,810
Hundred yards to the DSV.
Best case, for a strong
361
00:16:08,811 --> 00:16:11,813
swimmer, two minutes.
362
00:16:11,814 --> 00:16:14,749
The water's ice cold, help delay
the brain damage. Use the
363
00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:18,153
defibrillator on the DSV...
to restart the heart.
364
00:16:18,154 --> 00:16:19,421
Yeah but whose heart?!
365
00:16:19,422 --> 00:16:23,625
Weakest swimmer.
366
00:16:23,626 --> 00:16:25,360
Wh-? Aww, screw you guys!
367
00:16:25,361 --> 00:16:29,598
What, Lana, this isn't -- entirely
about race! Guys, back me up here.
368
00:16:29,599 --> 00:16:33,168
Well I was all-county in the
hundred meter freestyle in tenth grade...
369
00:16:33,169 --> 00:16:36,004
- And I have bionic legs...
- Plus I'm super scared...
370
00:16:36,005 --> 00:16:37,272
Plus you're a woman?
371
00:16:37,273 --> 00:16:40,008
I -- yeah, a
pregnant woman!
372
00:16:40,009 --> 00:16:40,875
What?
373
00:16:40,876 --> 00:16:42,944
That's why I haven't
been drinking, that's why I've
374
00:16:42,945 --> 00:16:46,314
been puking, and that's
why my boobs are so huge!
375
00:16:46,315 --> 00:16:48,049
Well I wouldn't
say "huge," but -
376
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,651
When were you
planning to tell me?!
377
00:16:49,652 --> 00:16:53,488
When I finally figured
out how to tell you it's not yours.
378
00:16:53,489 --> 00:16:54,689
Gnk?
379
00:16:54,690 --> 00:17:00,028
- Awwwkwaaaard...
- Ignore me, sorry, I'm
380
00:17:00,029 --> 00:17:04,732
dying. Crushed, by an off-brand
drink machine. Oh my
381
00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:12,207
- God, just like that old gypsy woman srgbgh...
- Gnnk! Gnnk! Gn -
382
00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:15,877
Get it together! We both know
this isn't your first time as a cuckold!
383
00:17:15,878 --> 00:17:19,914
Or at least now we both know it.
And for real? You're pregnant?
384
00:17:19,915 --> 00:17:22,850
Five weeks, long story, yes, but-
Shut up. Here.
385
00:17:22,851 --> 00:17:25,187
Wh-? But-
Ray's half robot,
386
00:17:25,188 --> 00:17:26,954
Cyril, miraculously, is good at
387
00:17:26,955 --> 00:17:31,059
something, and... Lana, you're gonna be a mom!
Just promise me
388
00:17:31,060 --> 00:17:33,495
you'll be a better
one than mine.
389
00:17:33,496 --> 00:17:35,096
Because I'm worried
something may have gone
390
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:37,566
- terribly wrong down there...
- Well if it did, we
391
00:17:37,567 --> 00:17:40,468
can't do anything about it, and
if it didn't, all the more
392
00:17:40,469 --> 00:17:45,173
reason to drive this tub to Bermuda
for some duty-free champagne!
393
00:17:45,174 --> 00:17:47,842
Archer, that
shouldn't be that hard.
394
00:17:47,843 --> 00:17:50,845
Ff-ff-ffrasing...
395
00:17:50,846 --> 00:17:54,449
Okay, here it comes! You just gotta
relax and let it go in your mouth!
396
00:17:54,450 --> 00:17:57,452
Ff-ff-
ffrasinglrrgllrg...!
397
00:17:57,453 --> 00:17:58,386
Archer?!
398
00:17:58,387 --> 00:17:59,787
Laggaah?
399
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:10,465
- Gly gluggve ggglooo...
- I know. Ray, now!
400
00:18:10,466 --> 00:18:11,633
C'mon, hurry!
401
00:18:11,634 --> 00:18:14,802
Move! Scarlet
Letter O'Whora!
402
00:18:14,803 --> 00:18:16,638
Cyril! It was a...!
403
00:18:16,639 --> 00:18:18,640
Donor, you shithead.
404
00:18:18,641 --> 00:18:23,811
C'mon, hang on Archer, two minutes!
Your brain can -- almost spare that!
405
00:18:23,812 --> 00:18:26,348
So hey, this may be a
weird question, but you know
406
00:18:26,349 --> 00:18:27,482
where she's registered?
407
00:18:27,483 --> 00:18:30,151
Wh-?! What do you think?!
408
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:32,820
Lanaaa!
Would you hurry up?!
409
00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:35,223
Said the guy
apparently too busy counting
410
00:18:35,224 --> 00:18:37,058
his bionic legs to help!
411
00:18:37,059 --> 00:18:40,828
You're gonna sass yourself right
out of a carseat! Now c'mon, hurry!
412
00:18:41,997 --> 00:18:44,132
Cyril! Get
ready on the airlock!
413
00:18:44,133 --> 00:18:46,401
- Yeah, yeah...
- Here, go go go go go.
414
00:18:46,402 --> 00:18:47,502
I got him I got him!
415
00:18:47,503 --> 00:18:48,836
Cyril now, blow it!
416
00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:50,472
Blow me,
boom, nailed it.
417
00:18:56,479 --> 00:18:57,178
Clear?!
418
00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:57,812
Clear!
419
00:18:58,781 --> 00:18:59,381
Again!
420
00:18:59,382 --> 00:19:01,849
C'mon,
he's dead let it go!
421
00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:02,517
Clear?!
422
00:19:02,518 --> 00:19:03,184
Clear!
423
00:19:06,756 --> 00:19:07,589
Archer?!
424
00:19:07,590 --> 00:19:08,623
Oh!
425
00:19:08,624 --> 00:19:10,124
Is he...? Are you...?
426
00:19:10,125 --> 00:19:11,760
The man who
cheated death?!
427
00:19:11,761 --> 00:19:12,960
Oh! Thank God.
428
00:19:12,961 --> 00:19:16,431
Oh my God, Archer, I can't -- I
mean, I don't even know how to thank you!
429
00:19:16,432 --> 00:19:17,599
Well, you could name
430
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,133
your kid after -
Noop.
431
00:19:19,134 --> 00:19:22,704
Then just get me topside. I need
to brush Ray's tongue out of my mouth.
432
00:19:22,705 --> 00:19:24,339
I didn't give
you mouth to mouth!
433
00:19:24,340 --> 00:19:30,978
C'mon, admit it, you Frenched me!
You can lie but your boner can't!
434
00:19:30,979 --> 00:19:32,681
Cut it out, Archer!
435
00:19:32,682 --> 00:19:35,183
Yeah, look at ya!
All blushy!
436
00:19:35,184 --> 00:19:40,054
Archer be careful, the defibrillator-
437
00:19:40,055 --> 00:19:43,191
- So. Although Sealab was destroyed...
- It was insured for
438
00:19:43,192 --> 00:19:46,093
three times its value, so
now I'm richer than ever.
439
00:19:46,094 --> 00:19:50,365
And I have forgiven you,
for being such an incorrigible douche.
440
00:19:50,366 --> 00:19:51,599
No one cares, because
441
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:52,967
most importantly -
442
00:19:52,968 --> 00:19:54,001
I cheated not only
443
00:19:54,002 --> 00:19:57,639
death, but also somehow
irreparable brain damage!
444
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,107
That remains to be seen,
and shut up, because Lana
445
00:20:00,108 --> 00:20:02,811
is going to be a mother!
446
00:20:02,812 --> 00:20:06,047
Three cheers for
little Johnny Bastard!
447
00:20:06,048 --> 00:20:08,049
Hip, hip!...Ahem.
448
00:20:08,050 --> 00:20:09,116
Inappropriate.
449
00:20:09,117 --> 00:20:14,055
The point is -- and seriously,
shut up -- everybody has a happy ending!
450
00:20:14,056 --> 00:20:16,891
Really?! Ol' Ray
gets a happy ending?!
451
00:20:16,892 --> 00:20:18,326
Ray-
Or does Randy
452
00:20:18,327 --> 00:20:19,994
Roughhouse here zap him with a
453
00:20:19,995 --> 00:20:24,417
defibrillator and fry the CPU
that made his bionic legs work?!
454
00:20:24,468 --> 00:20:26,946
Ray, I'm sorry! C'mon,
I was wrong!
455
00:20:27,066 --> 00:20:27,848
Really.
456
00:20:27,968 --> 00:20:32,831
Yeah, without the mustache
you look, like, a billion percent gayer.
457
00:20:33,970 --> 00:20:34,819
Boop.
458
00:20:34,939 --> 00:20:45,247
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
459
00:20:46,305 --> 00:21:46,588
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