1
00:00:03,955 --> 00:00:04,954
(fierce whistling)
2
00:00:04,956 --> 00:00:06,255
(explosion)
3
00:00:06,257 --> 00:00:07,256
>> CHERLENE: Woooo!
4
00:00:07,258 --> 00:00:08,958
Outlaw country!
5
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:09,959
Outlaw co...
6
00:00:09,961 --> 00:00:10,593
(gags)
7
00:00:10,595 --> 00:00:11,594
>> LANA: Stop it.
8
00:00:11,596 --> 00:00:12,595
>> CHERLENE (hoarse): Make me.
9
00:00:12,597 --> 00:00:13,596
(whistling, explosion)
10
00:00:13,598 --> 00:00:14,697
>> MALORY: Lana.
11
00:00:14,699 --> 00:00:15,898
Are you crazy?
12
00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:17,099
>> LANA: No, she is.
13
00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:17,967
See?
14
00:00:17,969 --> 00:00:18,901
>> MALORY: Let go of her throat,
15
00:00:18,903 --> 00:00:20,202
She-Hulk, those pipes just sold
16
00:00:20,204 --> 00:00:21,203
a million records.
17
00:00:21,205 --> 00:00:22,204
>> CALDERÓN: Which is amazing,
18
00:00:22,206 --> 00:00:23,205
can you believe it is so
19
00:00:23,207 --> 00:00:24,206
amazing?
20
00:00:24,208 --> 00:00:24,807
Everyone, toast.
21
00:00:24,809 --> 00:00:25,808
(explosion)
22
00:00:25,810 --> 00:00:27,043
>> MALORY AND LANA: Whoa!
23
00:00:27,045 --> 00:00:28,110
>> COMANDANTE: Presidente, this
24
00:00:28,112 --> 00:00:29,211
is no time for toast.
25
00:00:29,213 --> 00:00:30,212
>> CALDERÓN: Wha... No, not
26
00:00:30,214 --> 00:00:31,280
"toast," a toast.
27
00:00:31,282 --> 00:00:32,281
A toast.
28
00:00:32,283 --> 00:00:33,282
>> COMANDANTE: It is even less
29
00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:34,283
the time for that.
30
00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:35,284
>> MALORY: Calm down, Colonel
31
00:00:35,286 --> 00:00:36,285
Panic.
32
00:00:36,287 --> 00:00:38,120
Listen-- the shelling has
33
00:00:38,122 --> 00:00:39,121
stopped.
34
00:00:39,123 --> 00:00:41,090
(Pam grunts loudly)
35
00:00:41,092 --> 00:00:41,958
(dishes break)
36
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:43,059
>> RAY: Damn it, Pam.
37
00:00:43,061 --> 00:00:43,993
>> CALDERÓN: Why the hell did
38
00:00:43,995 --> 00:00:44,827
you do that?
39
00:00:44,829 --> 00:00:45,761
>> PAM: So we can scrooch down
40
00:00:45,763 --> 00:00:46,595
behind it.
41
00:00:46,597 --> 00:00:47,430
>> MALORY: The shelling...
42
00:00:47,432 --> 00:00:49,832
has stopped.
43
00:00:49,834 --> 00:00:50,766
>> PAM: Oh, did you just say
44
00:00:50,768 --> 00:00:51,767
that?
45
00:00:51,769 --> 00:00:52,601
>> LANA: Goddamn it.
46
00:00:52,603 --> 00:00:53,436
Is everybody okay?
47
00:00:53,438 --> 00:00:54,236
>> MALORY: Yes.
48
00:00:54,238 --> 00:00:55,171
>> CHERLENE: Yeah, I guess.
49
00:00:55,173 --> 00:00:56,005
>> CYRIL (laughing): I don't
know.
50
00:00:56,007 --> 00:00:57,173
where is my wife?
51
00:00:57,175 --> 00:00:58,174
>> MALORY: And where is
52
00:00:58,176 --> 00:00:59,175
Sterling?
53
00:00:59,177 --> 00:01:00,176
>> ARCHER (muffled): What's
54
00:01:00,178 --> 00:01:01,177
that?
55
00:01:01,179 --> 00:01:03,579
I mean, yes, what?
56
00:01:03,581 --> 00:01:04,580
What are we doing?
57
00:01:04,582 --> 00:01:05,614
>> MALORY: What are you doing?
58
00:01:05,616 --> 00:01:06,615
>> CALDERÓN: Why were you in the
59
00:01:06,617 --> 00:01:07,650
butler's pantry?
60
00:01:07,652 --> 00:01:09,352
>> ARCHER: I-I was, uh, I was
61
00:01:09,354 --> 00:01:10,619
hiding because I was scared.
62
00:01:10,621 --> 00:01:11,620
>> CHERLENE: Yeah, right.
63
00:01:11,622 --> 00:01:12,621
>> LANA: Really.
64
00:01:12,623 --> 00:01:13,656
>> ARCHER: Well, fairly.
65
00:01:13,658 --> 00:01:15,324
But I-I mean, I found a paper
66
00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:16,659
bag in there, and I did some
67
00:01:16,661 --> 00:01:17,860
deep, uh...
68
00:01:17,862 --> 00:01:18,861
>> LANA: Breathing?
69
00:01:18,863 --> 00:01:19,795
>> ARCHER: Also, yes, so, hey,
70
00:01:19,797 --> 00:01:20,629
what's the plan?
71
00:01:20,631 --> 00:01:21,630
>> CALDERÓN: We must
72
00:01:21,632 --> 00:01:22,631
counterattack.
73
00:01:22,633 --> 00:01:23,666
>> COMANDANTE: But, sir, I don't
74
00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:24,667
have enough troops.
75
00:01:24,669 --> 00:01:25,668
>> CALDERÓN: Oh, my God, always
76
00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:26,669
with the excuses.
77
00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:27,670
>> COMANDANTE: Sir, you have an
78
00:01:27,672 --> 00:01:28,671
entire battalion sitting idle
79
00:01:28,673 --> 00:01:29,672
at the airport, so...
80
00:01:29,674 --> 00:01:30,673
>> CALDERÓN: No, they are not
81
00:01:30,675 --> 00:01:31,674
sitting idle, they are...
82
00:01:31,676 --> 00:01:32,675
>> COMANDANTE: Unloading the one
83
00:01:32,677 --> 00:01:33,676
million record albums you
84
00:01:33,678 --> 00:01:34,677
bought from this gringa.
85
00:01:34,679 --> 00:01:35,344
>> ARCHER: What?
86
00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:36,278
>> CHERLENE: Wait, what?
87
00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:37,179
>> CALDERÓN (soft laugh):
88
00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:38,180
Surprise.
89
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,216
>> JULIANA: Wait, what?
90
00:01:40,218 --> 00:01:42,118
>> LANA: Non-surprise.
91
00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:42,852
>> ARCHER: Can you not?
92
00:01:42,854 --> 00:01:43,853
>> LANA: Can you not?
93
00:01:43,855 --> 00:01:44,854
>> CHERLENE: I thought people
liked me.
94
00:01:44,856 --> 00:01:45,688
>> JULIANA: I thought we were
broke
95
00:01:45,690 --> 00:01:47,390
>> CHERLENE AND JULIANA: Do you
96
00:01:47,392 --> 00:01:48,290
have any idea how humiliating
97
00:01:48,292 --> 00:01:49,291
this is?
98
00:01:49,293 --> 00:01:50,292
>> PAM: Jinx.
99
00:01:50,294 --> 00:01:51,894
(Cherlene sobs)
100
00:01:51,896 --> 00:01:52,895
Inappropes.
101
00:01:52,897 --> 00:01:53,896
>> CALDERÓN: Cherlene, wait.
102
00:01:53,898 --> 00:01:54,897
>> JULIANA (gasps): Well, now
103
00:01:54,899 --> 00:01:56,032
it's your turn to be humiliated,
104
00:01:56,034 --> 00:01:57,233
Gustavo.
105
00:01:57,235 --> 00:01:58,234
Because for your information,
106
00:01:58,236 --> 00:01:59,235
I just had...
107
00:01:59,237 --> 00:02:00,036
(gunshot)
108
00:02:00,038 --> 00:02:01,037
>> LANA: Cyril?
109
00:02:01,039 --> 00:02:03,072
(Cyril grunts, exhales)
110
00:02:03,074 --> 00:02:04,206
>> ARCHER: Oh.
111
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,408
My God.
112
00:02:05,410 --> 00:02:07,209
The gun went off for, like, no
113
00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:10,079
reason.
114
00:02:10,081 --> 00:02:11,714
Surprise.
115
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:19,074
Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports
Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP
116
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:52,254
(glass shatters)
117
00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:53,622
>> JULIANA: $10 million.
118
00:02:53,624 --> 00:02:56,459
On... on cowboy music?
119
00:02:56,461 --> 00:02:58,194
>> CALDERÓN: Eee!
120
00:02:58,196 --> 00:02:59,528
Cowboy music?
121
00:02:59,530 --> 00:03:00,563
>> COMANDANTE: Presidente,
122
00:03:00,565 --> 00:03:02,198
please, permission to redeploy
123
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:03,199
the troops at the airport.
124
00:03:03,201 --> 00:03:04,467
>> CALDERÓN: Ay, aah!
125
00:03:04,469 --> 00:03:06,135
Jesus Christ, fine.
126
00:03:06,137 --> 00:03:07,303
Whatever you want.
127
00:03:07,305 --> 00:03:08,137
>> COMANDANTE: Bravo Two, this
128
00:03:08,139 --> 00:03:09,138
is Bravo Actual.
129
00:03:09,140 --> 00:03:10,239
Redeploy your troops to sector
130
00:03:10,241 --> 00:03:11,240
four.
131
00:03:11,242 --> 00:03:12,241
>> JULIANA: Well, I am
132
00:03:12,243 --> 00:03:13,943
redeploying to my rooms.
133
00:03:13,945 --> 00:03:14,944
>> CALDERÓN: Well, I am
134
00:03:14,946 --> 00:03:18,114
redeploying to my rooms.
135
00:03:18,116 --> 00:03:19,315
>> MALORY: My God, why was she
136
00:03:19,317 --> 00:03:20,316
so upset?
137
00:03:20,318 --> 00:03:21,317
>> ARCHER: Well, I think any
138
00:03:21,319 --> 00:03:23,119
time a spouse makes a major
139
00:03:23,121 --> 00:03:24,120
purchase without discussing it
140
00:03:24,122 --> 00:03:24,987
first...
141
00:03:24,989 --> 00:03:25,488
>> MALORY: I meant Cherlene, you
142
00:03:25,490 --> 00:03:26,489
pea-wit.
143
00:03:26,491 --> 00:03:27,490
Why does she care?
144
00:03:27,492 --> 00:03:28,958
Most singers would kill to have
145
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:29,959
a record go platinum.
146
00:03:29,961 --> 00:03:30,960
(Lana clears throat)
147
00:03:30,962 --> 00:03:31,961
>> LANA: Speaking of killing
148
00:03:31,963 --> 00:03:32,962
people.
149
00:03:32,964 --> 00:03:34,296
>> ARCHER: Oh, my God, okay,
150
00:03:34,298 --> 00:03:36,165
first of all, he...
151
00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:38,134
Actually, yeah, Pam, let's hear
152
00:03:38,136 --> 00:03:39,335
some Bee Gees.
153
00:03:39,337 --> 00:03:40,402
(Pam breathes deeply)
154
00:03:40,404 --> 00:03:41,403
>> CYRIL (high-pitched): Ha, ha,
155
00:03:41,405 --> 00:03:43,005
ha, ha.
156
00:03:43,007 --> 00:03:44,140
>> PAM: Stayin' alive.
157
00:03:44,142 --> 00:03:45,307
(laughing): Holy shit, that
158
00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:46,308
works.
159
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:47,409
>> CYRIL: Agh.
160
00:03:47,411 --> 00:03:49,278
>> ARCHER: Yeah, so does Kevlar.
161
00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:50,346
>> LANA: Wait, so does what?
162
00:03:50,348 --> 00:03:51,614
>> PAM: What, did you just want
163
00:03:51,616 --> 00:03:52,615
mouth-to-mouth?
164
00:03:52,617 --> 00:03:53,616
>> CYRIL: I can explain.
165
00:03:53,618 --> 00:03:54,617
>> LANA: What is this,
166
00:03:54,619 --> 00:03:55,284
Meatballs?
167
00:03:55,286 --> 00:03:56,285
You little...
168
00:03:56,287 --> 00:03:57,286
>> ARCHER: Racist.
169
00:03:57,288 --> 00:03:58,287
What?
170
00:03:58,289 --> 00:03:59,321
Cyril, you wear Kevlar every
171
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:00,322
single time we go to Latin
172
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:01,323
America.
173
00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:02,758
>> CYRIL: Because every time you
174
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,326
shoot me.
175
00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:05,327
>> ARCHER: Whoa, whoa, whoa, not
176
00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:06,328
every time.
177
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:07,763
Mm, like, three out of four,
178
00:04:07,765 --> 00:04:08,764
tops.
179
00:04:08,766 --> 00:04:09,765
You big baby.
180
00:04:09,767 --> 00:04:11,634
>> LANA: Also speaking of...
181
00:04:11,636 --> 00:04:13,969
>> MALORY: Ugh, here it comes.
182
00:04:13,971 --> 00:04:16,172
>> LANA: No, actually, here it
goes.
183
00:04:16,174 --> 00:04:16,839
I'm leaving.
184
00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:18,207
Ray, airport, let's go.
185
00:04:18,209 --> 00:04:19,308
>> ARCHER: Have you lost your
mind?
186
00:04:19,310 --> 00:04:21,210
>> RAY: Seriously, I am not your
servant.
187
00:04:21,212 --> 00:04:22,311
Ow, quit-quit...
188
00:04:22,313 --> 00:04:24,180
Ow, ow, goddamn it!
189
00:04:24,182 --> 00:04:25,181
>> ARCHER: Not that.
190
00:04:25,183 --> 00:04:26,215
Lana, in case you haven't
191
00:04:26,217 --> 00:04:27,783
noticed, this place is crawling
192
00:04:27,785 --> 00:04:29,018
with rebels.
193
00:04:29,020 --> 00:04:30,352
>> PAM: And not the good kind
194
00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:31,353
you get drunk with at Myrtle
195
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:32,555
Beach and cruise the strip in
196
00:04:32,557 --> 00:04:33,789
the bed of their monster truck
197
00:04:33,791 --> 00:04:35,391
with a big rebel flag on it,
198
00:04:35,393 --> 00:04:37,226
flinging empty longnecks at
199
00:04:37,228 --> 00:04:38,527
people.
200
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,362
>> LANA: Yeah, those aren't
201
00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:41,730
actually the good kind, either.
202
00:04:41,732 --> 00:04:43,232
>> PAM: Now who's racist?
203
00:04:43,234 --> 00:04:44,233
>> ARCHER: Those guys, Pam,
204
00:04:44,235 --> 00:04:45,367
those exact same guys you just
205
00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:46,368
described.
206
00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:47,369
>> PAM: Oh.
207
00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:49,171
Well now I feel like an asshole.
208
00:04:49,173 --> 00:04:50,306
>> MALORY: When do you not?
209
00:04:50,308 --> 00:04:51,407
>> PAM: Almost always.
210
00:04:51,409 --> 00:04:53,375
I really like me.
211
00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:54,743
>> MALORY: Baffling.
212
00:04:54,745 --> 00:04:56,579
As is leaving before Calderón
213
00:04:56,581 --> 00:04:57,580
pays us for that shipment of
214
00:04:57,582 --> 00:04:58,581
weapons, so...
215
00:04:58,583 --> 00:04:59,582
>> LANA (scoffs): When was that
216
00:04:59,584 --> 00:05:00,583
supposed to happen?
217
00:05:00,585 --> 00:05:02,384
After a lovely dinner with him
218
00:05:02,386 --> 00:05:03,252
and his freshly-banged first
219
00:05:03,254 --> 00:05:04,253
lady?
220
00:05:04,255 --> 00:05:05,254
>> MALORY: His...
221
00:05:05,256 --> 00:05:06,355
What are you talking about?
222
00:05:06,357 --> 00:05:07,356
>> LANA: I'm talking about
223
00:05:07,358 --> 00:05:08,357
Archer, who just...
224
00:05:08,359 --> 00:05:11,427
(gunshot)
225
00:05:11,429 --> 00:05:12,428
>> ARCHER: Oops.
226
00:05:12,430 --> 00:05:13,429
>> MALORY: Give me that.
227
00:05:13,431 --> 00:05:14,430
>> ARCHER: Mother, be careful,
228
00:05:14,432 --> 00:05:15,431
that crazy thing's got a mind
229
00:05:15,433 --> 00:05:16,432
of its own.
230
00:05:16,434 --> 00:05:17,433
>> MALORY: And it's not the only
231
00:05:17,435 --> 00:05:18,434
thing.
232
00:05:18,436 --> 00:05:19,435
Why can't you keep it in your
233
00:05:19,437 --> 00:05:20,336
pants?
234
00:05:20,338 --> 00:05:21,337
>> ARCHER: Oof.
235
00:05:21,339 --> 00:05:23,405
(coughs): Oh, Mother.
236
00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:24,673
(Cyril cackles)
237
00:05:24,675 --> 00:05:25,774
>> ARCHER: It's not funny, I
238
00:05:25,776 --> 00:05:27,710
actually use mine.
239
00:05:27,712 --> 00:05:29,378
>> LANA: Yes, always.
240
00:05:29,380 --> 00:05:30,579
God, you're...
241
00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:31,780
What happened to no more
242
00:05:31,782 --> 00:05:32,781
anonymous sex?
243
00:05:32,783 --> 00:05:33,782
>> ARCHER: I... we had already
244
00:05:33,784 --> 00:05:34,783
met.
245
00:05:34,785 --> 00:05:35,784
>> LANA: Not the first time.
246
00:05:35,786 --> 00:05:36,785
>> ARCHER: The first time I
247
00:05:36,787 --> 00:05:37,786
thought she was the maid.
248
00:05:37,788 --> 00:05:38,787
>> MALORY: Why would you have
249
00:05:38,789 --> 00:05:40,389
sex with a maid?
250
00:05:40,391 --> 00:05:41,423
>> ARCHER: That doesn't merit a
251
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:42,725
response, Mother, and the second
252
00:05:42,727 --> 00:05:43,726
time she blackmailed me.
253
00:05:43,728 --> 00:05:44,727
>> MALORY: How did she blackmail
254
00:05:44,729 --> 00:05:45,728
you?
255
00:05:45,730 --> 00:05:46,729
>> ARCHER: By threatening to
256
00:05:46,731 --> 00:05:48,264
tell Calderón about the first
257
00:05:48,266 --> 00:05:49,265
time.
258
00:05:49,267 --> 00:05:50,633
>> MALORY: That's the honeypot.
259
00:05:50,635 --> 00:05:52,134
How could you fall for that?
260
00:05:52,136 --> 00:05:53,535
It's Espionage 101.
261
00:05:53,537 --> 00:05:54,536
>> ARCHER: I know, it's pretty
262
00:05:54,538 --> 00:05:55,638
ironic.
263
00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,740
But, also, I always fall for it.
264
00:05:57,742 --> 00:05:58,741
>> MALORY: And now what's to
265
00:05:58,743 --> 00:06:00,276
stop her from telling him about
266
00:06:00,278 --> 00:06:01,277
the second time?
267
00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:02,278
>> ARCHER: Hmm.
268
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,480
Nothing, (chuckles) she's crazy.
269
00:06:04,482 --> 00:06:06,415
Ow, ow, Lana, quit it, ow.
270
00:06:06,417 --> 00:06:07,650
Ow, goddamn it.
271
00:06:07,652 --> 00:06:08,651
>> LANA: Asshole.
272
00:06:08,653 --> 00:06:09,652
>> CYRIL: We're dead.
273
00:06:09,654 --> 00:06:11,120
You've killed us.
274
00:06:11,122 --> 00:06:13,289
>> ARCHER: Me?
275
00:06:13,291 --> 00:06:14,490
I didn't have a follow-up...
276
00:06:14,492 --> 00:06:15,491
to that.
277
00:06:15,493 --> 00:06:17,493
>> MALORY: Oh, all right, Lana,
278
00:06:17,495 --> 00:06:18,494
you win.
279
00:06:18,496 --> 00:06:21,130
>> PAM: Yay!
280
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:24,633
>> LANA: Win what?
281
00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:26,302
>> MALORY: We're leaving right
now.
282
00:06:26,304 --> 00:06:27,303
Ray?
283
00:06:27,305 --> 00:06:28,937
>> MALORY: Damn it, man, forget
284
00:06:28,939 --> 00:06:30,005
your kimonos.
285
00:06:30,007 --> 00:06:30,839
>> RAY: Oh, like I brought a
huge stack.
286
00:06:30,841 --> 00:06:31,340
>> CYRIL: Five's a pretty big
287
00:06:31,342 --> 00:06:32,274
stack.
288
00:06:32,276 --> 00:06:33,275
>> MALORY: Cyril, shut up and go
289
00:06:33,277 --> 00:06:34,276
find a vehicle.
290
00:06:34,278 --> 00:06:35,678
Ray, find Cherlene.
291
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,179
No matter what happens, we can't
292
00:06:37,181 --> 00:06:38,180
leave without her.
293
00:06:38,182 --> 00:06:39,515
>> LANA: She said, suddenly
294
00:06:39,517 --> 00:06:40,516
oddly maternal.
295
00:06:40,518 --> 00:06:41,517
>> ARCHER: Right?
296
00:06:41,519 --> 00:06:42,518
>> MALORY: She has to endorse
297
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:43,519
the royalty checks.
298
00:06:43,521 --> 00:06:44,520
>> LANA (English accent): And
299
00:06:44,522 --> 00:06:45,521
the penny drops.
300
00:06:45,523 --> 00:06:46,522
>> MALORY: You shut up, and the
301
00:06:46,524 --> 00:06:47,523
rest of you shut up and grab
302
00:06:47,525 --> 00:06:48,524
anything valuable.
303
00:06:48,526 --> 00:06:50,426
Ooh, like that ridiculous white
304
00:06:50,428 --> 00:06:51,427
painting.
305
00:06:51,429 --> 00:06:52,428
>> PAM: Wait, what about
306
00:06:52,430 --> 00:06:53,095
Krieger?
307
00:06:53,097 --> 00:06:53,796
>> MALORY: Oh, for...
308
00:06:53,798 --> 00:06:54,797
Who cares about Krieger?
309
00:06:54,799 --> 00:06:55,798
>> RAY: Yeah.
310
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:56,865
>> CYRIL: That's true.
311
00:06:56,867 --> 00:06:58,167
>> PAM: Plus, I bet the vampires
312
00:06:58,169 --> 00:06:59,368
got him.
313
00:06:59,370 --> 00:07:00,502
(Krieger whimpers)
314
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:01,704
(sobbing)
315
00:07:01,706 --> 00:07:05,341
>> CLONE: So... now will you
316
00:07:05,343 --> 00:07:07,343
join us... brother?
317
00:07:07,345 --> 00:07:10,479
>> KRIEGER (sobbing): Yes...
318
00:07:10,481 --> 00:07:12,948
(sobbing)
319
00:07:12,950 --> 00:07:16,785
>> CLONES: Clone bone!
320
00:07:20,724 --> 00:07:21,957
>> KRIEGER: My God, I have so
321
00:07:21,959 --> 00:07:23,158
many questions.
322
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:24,693
Are you clones of me?
323
00:07:24,695 --> 00:07:25,894
Am I a clone of you?
324
00:07:25,896 --> 00:07:27,129
Did you all grow up together...
325
00:07:27,131 --> 00:07:28,230
in an actual house with an
326
00:07:28,232 --> 00:07:29,498
actual mom and dad?
327
00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:30,699
And was I ever there?
328
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:31,900
>> CLONE: No.
329
00:07:31,902 --> 00:07:33,135
>> CLONE 2: To all of it.
330
00:07:33,137 --> 00:07:34,236
>> KRIEGER: You sure?
331
00:07:34,238 --> 00:07:35,237
Because I have this very clear
332
00:07:35,239 --> 00:07:36,238
memory of me as a child, and
333
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:37,339
it's snowing, and there's a
334
00:07:37,341 --> 00:07:38,240
creepy old man trying to take me
335
00:07:38,242 --> 00:07:39,241
away, and then I knock him down
336
00:07:39,243 --> 00:07:40,509
with a sled?
337
00:07:40,511 --> 00:07:41,710
>> CLONE 3: That's Citizen Kane.
338
00:07:41,712 --> 00:07:43,345
>> KRIEGER: Oh.
339
00:07:43,347 --> 00:07:45,147
Wait. No, not a sled.
340
00:07:45,149 --> 00:07:46,248
A pneumatic bolt-gun.
341
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:47,249
>> CLONE 3: Now that does sound
342
00:07:47,251 --> 00:07:48,417
vaguely familiar.
343
00:07:48,419 --> 00:07:49,651
>> KRIEGER: Right?
344
00:07:49,653 --> 00:07:50,719
>> CLONE 2: Wait. No.
345
00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:51,720
I remember blood on snow.
346
00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:52,721
>> KRIEGER: Right?!
347
00:07:52,723 --> 00:07:53,722
>> CLONE 1: No! That was
348
00:07:53,724 --> 00:07:54,723
something else!
349
00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:55,724
He was never with us as a
350
00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:56,725
child!
351
00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:57,593
>> CLONE 2: Well, the important
352
00:07:57,595 --> 00:07:58,527
thing is that you're with us
353
00:07:58,529 --> 00:07:59,728
now.
354
00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:00,596
>> CLONE 3: Especially since
355
00:08:00,598 --> 00:08:01,830
your friends...
356
00:08:01,832 --> 00:08:02,731
>> KRIEGER: "Friends." Please.
357
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:03,599
Can you believe those jerks?
358
00:08:03,601 --> 00:08:04,733
After all these years?
359
00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:05,734
Kicking me to the curb like,
360
00:08:05,736 --> 00:08:06,935
like...
361
00:08:06,937 --> 00:08:08,170
>> CLONE 1: A child.
362
00:08:08,172 --> 00:08:09,271
>> CLONE 2: A frog!
363
00:08:09,273 --> 00:08:10,272
>> CLONE 3: Frog-child!
364
00:08:10,274 --> 00:08:11,273
(load croaking)
365
00:08:11,275 --> 00:08:12,541
>> CLONES: No!
366
00:08:12,543 --> 00:08:13,575
>> KRIEGER Is... is that what
367
00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:14,777
I think it is?
368
00:08:14,779 --> 00:08:16,011
>> CLONES: No.
369
00:08:16,013 --> 00:08:17,012
>> KRIEGER: Well, let me finish,
370
00:08:17,014 --> 00:08:18,046
because I think it's some kind
371
00:08:18,048 --> 00:08:19,248
of unholy, adolescent
372
00:08:19,250 --> 00:08:20,416
human-amphibian hybrid creature.
373
00:08:20,418 --> 00:08:21,617
>> CLONE 2: Oh.
374
00:08:21,619 --> 00:08:22,851
Then, yes.
375
00:08:22,853 --> 00:08:24,953
>> KRIEGER: I'm home.
376
00:08:24,955 --> 00:08:26,889
I'm finally home.
377
00:08:26,891 --> 00:08:28,290
>> CLONE 1: Just in time for
378
00:08:28,292 --> 00:08:29,558
our moment of triumph.
379
00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,460
>> KRIEGER: Well, if there's one
380
00:08:31,462 --> 00:08:33,228
thing I love, it's triumph!
381
00:08:33,230 --> 00:08:34,630
What is it?!
382
00:08:34,632 --> 00:08:35,597
>> CLONE 2: All will be
383
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,800
revealed... in time.
384
00:08:37,802 --> 00:08:39,034
>> KRIEGER: And if there's one
385
00:08:39,036 --> 00:08:40,569
thing I love more than triumph,
386
00:08:40,571 --> 00:08:43,639
it's annoying vagueness.
387
00:08:43,641 --> 00:08:44,640
>> CYRIL (as Malory): Cyril,
388
00:08:44,642 --> 00:08:45,607
shut up and find a vehicle!
389
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:46,809
Meh, heh, heh.
390
00:08:46,811 --> 00:08:48,043
I'm a hateful shrew!
391
00:08:48,045 --> 00:08:49,244
And this is my idiot son,
392
00:08:49,246 --> 00:08:50,646
Archer.
393
00:08:50,648 --> 00:08:51,613
He's going to screw the
394
00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:52,815
dictator's wife and then shoot
395
00:08:52,817 --> 00:08:54,049
you in the chest!
396
00:08:54,051 --> 00:08:55,250
(as himself): Oh, makes me so
397
00:08:55,252 --> 00:08:56,652
mad!
398
00:08:56,654 --> 00:08:58,587
One of these days, I swear to...
399
00:08:58,589 --> 00:09:00,823
Jesus H. Chrysler!
400
00:09:00,825 --> 00:09:02,658
(clacking)
401
00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:04,593
Well, one thing's for sure.
402
00:09:04,595 --> 00:09:06,094
If I had it to do over, I'd be a
403
00:09:06,096 --> 00:09:07,296
dictator.
404
00:09:07,298 --> 00:09:08,664
>> CALDERÓN: What?!
405
00:09:08,666 --> 00:09:09,631
My God, come on.
406
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:10,833
How can you even say that?
407
00:09:10,835 --> 00:09:12,067
>> CHERLENE: Because that's what
408
00:09:12,069 --> 00:09:13,268
you are!
409
00:09:13,270 --> 00:09:14,670
>> CALDERÓN: Cherlene, I-I...
410
00:09:14,672 --> 00:09:15,637
I'm not a dictator!
411
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:18,674
I'm a president, like your Jorge
412
00:09:18,676 --> 00:09:19,641
Washington!
413
00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:20,843
>> CHERLENE: Jorge Washington--
414
00:09:20,845 --> 00:09:22,077
which, apparently, I've been
415
00:09:22,079 --> 00:09:23,345
mispronouncing wrong this whole
416
00:09:23,347 --> 00:09:24,513
time-- wasn't president for
417
00:09:24,515 --> 00:09:25,747
life!
418
00:09:25,749 --> 00:09:26,949
>> CALDERÓN: Uh, but he could
419
00:09:26,951 --> 00:09:28,150
have been if he wanted.
420
00:09:28,152 --> 00:09:29,351
Look, the 22nd
421
00:09:29,353 --> 00:09:30,752
amendment to your constitution
422
00:09:30,754 --> 00:09:31,954
imposed the presidential term
423
00:09:31,956 --> 00:09:33,155
limits, but it wasn't passed by
424
00:09:33,157 --> 00:09:35,824
your congress until 1947, and
425
00:09:35,826 --> 00:09:37,626
not ratified by the requisite
426
00:09:37,628 --> 00:09:39,161
number of American states until
427
00:09:39,163 --> 00:09:40,362
1951, so...
428
00:09:40,364 --> 00:09:41,630
>> CHERLENE: Who are you-- Dave
429
00:09:41,632 --> 00:09:42,831
Frishberg?!
430
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,032
>> CALDERÓN: Yeah, I don't know
431
00:09:44,034 --> 00:09:45,267
who that is.
432
00:09:45,269 --> 00:09:46,268
>> CHERLENE: Of course you
433
00:09:46,270 --> 00:09:47,269
don't, because you don't live
434
00:09:47,271 --> 00:09:48,370
in a free country, where the
435
00:09:48,372 --> 00:09:49,705
world's largest manufacturers of
436
00:09:49,707 --> 00:09:51,173
sugary cereals are allowed to
437
00:09:51,175 --> 00:09:52,875
sponsor interstitial animated
438
00:09:52,877 --> 00:09:54,109
programming unapologetically
439
00:09:54,111 --> 00:09:55,844
targeted at children!
440
00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:57,045
>> CALDERÓN: No. I-I live in a
441
00:09:57,047 --> 00:09:58,280
very poor country.
442
00:09:58,282 --> 00:09:59,381
>> CHERLENE: Ugh!
443
00:09:59,383 --> 00:10:00,649
>> CALDERÓN: No, no. I... Look,
444
00:10:00,651 --> 00:10:01,850
I know, but go outside the
445
00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:03,051
palace walls, and trust me,
446
00:10:03,053 --> 00:10:04,286
Cherlene, listen, it is crazy
447
00:10:04,288 --> 00:10:05,387
poor.
448
00:10:05,389 --> 00:10:06,655
>> CHERLENE: Yeah, that was
449
00:10:06,657 --> 00:10:07,856
my whole...
450
00:10:07,858 --> 00:10:09,057
>> CALDERÓN: And so, I wanted to
451
00:10:09,059 --> 00:10:10,058
distribute your records among--
452
00:10:10,060 --> 00:10:11,059
and I hate to say this-- but our
453
00:10:11,061 --> 00:10:12,294
filthy peasants, so as to
454
00:10:12,296 --> 00:10:13,495
brighten their lives with your
455
00:10:13,497 --> 00:10:14,663
music.
456
00:10:14,665 --> 00:10:15,864
>> CHERLENE: Oh.
457
00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:16,865
Well, now I feel like a...
458
00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:18,066
Wait. Do they even have record
459
00:10:18,068 --> 00:10:19,301
players?
460
00:10:19,303 --> 00:10:20,502
>> CALDERÓN: Well, no, obviously
461
00:10:20,504 --> 00:10:21,670
not, but...
462
00:10:21,672 --> 00:10:22,871
>> CHERLENE: So how would they
463
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:24,072
even use records?!
464
00:10:24,074 --> 00:10:25,908
>> CALDERÓN: As plates?
465
00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:27,142
>> LANA: What, in the name of
466
00:10:27,144 --> 00:10:28,310
all that is stupid, do you think
467
00:10:28,312 --> 00:10:29,511
you're doing?
468
00:10:29,513 --> 00:10:30,679
(Archer sighs)
469
00:10:30,681 --> 00:10:31,880
>> ARCHER: You tell me, crazy
470
00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:33,081
pregnant hormone lady.
471
00:10:33,083 --> 00:10:34,316
What's it look like I'm doing?!
472
00:10:34,318 --> 00:10:36,084
B-But before you answer, please
473
00:10:36,086 --> 00:10:37,319
don't say "literally being
474
00:10:37,321 --> 00:10:39,187
emasculated," because I looked
475
00:10:39,189 --> 00:10:40,389
that up, and... ick.
476
00:10:40,391 --> 00:10:41,557
>> LANA: Hold it up.
477
00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:42,758
>> ARCHER: Lana, come on.
478
00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:43,992
You and Mother smashed my balls
479
00:10:43,994 --> 00:10:45,193
pretty good.
480
00:10:45,195 --> 00:10:46,395
Kudos. They're swollen.
481
00:10:46,397 --> 00:10:47,563
But I-I don't need a cut man!
482
00:10:47,565 --> 00:10:48,764
>> LANA: The painting...
483
00:10:48,766 --> 00:10:49,998
you idiot.
484
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,199
>> ARCHER: Oh.
485
00:10:51,201 --> 00:10:52,401
Thought you meant my genitals.
486
00:10:52,403 --> 00:10:53,569
But, look, I know you're jealous
487
00:10:53,571 --> 00:10:54,770
I had sex with Juliana, almost
488
00:10:54,772 --> 00:10:56,004
twice, but don't slash the
489
00:10:56,006 --> 00:10:57,205
painting.
490
00:10:57,207 --> 00:10:58,407
It's...
491
00:10:58,409 --> 00:10:59,575
(high-pitched voice): Priceless.
492
00:10:59,577 --> 00:11:00,776
>> LANA: But worthless... if you
493
00:11:00,778 --> 00:11:02,444
damage it.
494
00:11:02,446 --> 00:11:03,712
But even though it's very
495
00:11:03,714 --> 00:11:05,781
delicate, it can withstand a
496
00:11:05,783 --> 00:11:07,349
surprising amount of shit.
497
00:11:07,351 --> 00:11:08,550
>> ARCHER: Wait. Is this an
498
00:11:08,552 --> 00:11:10,352
extremely ill-phrased analogy
499
00:11:10,354 --> 00:11:11,553
about my penis?
500
00:11:11,555 --> 00:11:12,788
>> LANA: Yes, Archer, it is,
501
00:11:12,790 --> 00:11:14,923
because everything, everywhere,
502
00:11:14,925 --> 00:11:17,459
every when, is about the paragon
503
00:11:17,461 --> 00:11:19,928
of adequacy that is your dick.
504
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:21,730
>> ARCHER: "Adequacy" as in
505
00:11:21,732 --> 00:11:22,931
"mind-blowingness"?
506
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,132
Or "adequacy" as in "Hey,
507
00:11:24,134 --> 00:11:25,367
stupid, you just destroyed
508
00:11:25,369 --> 00:11:26,468
$40 million"?!
509
00:11:26,470 --> 00:11:27,736
>> LANA: As in neither, you
510
00:11:27,738 --> 00:11:28,937
dummy.
511
00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:30,138
This is how you steal a
512
00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:31,373
painting.
513
00:11:31,375 --> 00:11:32,474
Did you never see The Thomas
514
00:11:32,476 --> 00:11:33,742
Crown Affair?
515
00:11:33,744 --> 00:11:34,943
>> ARCHER: Uh, no, not a huge
516
00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:36,144
Steve McQueen fan.
517
00:11:36,146 --> 00:11:37,379
(Lana laughs)
518
00:11:37,381 --> 00:11:40,048
>> LANA: Oh, my God, are you...?
519
00:11:40,050 --> 00:11:41,817
Archer, you used to moan about
520
00:11:41,819 --> 00:11:44,086
him in your sleep!
521
00:11:44,088 --> 00:11:45,287
>> ARCHER: I-I...
522
00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:47,489
No, I didn't.
523
00:11:47,491 --> 00:11:48,757
>> CYRIL: Come on, you can do
524
00:11:48,759 --> 00:11:49,958
this.
525
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,159
Just pick a stupid car.
526
00:11:51,161 --> 00:11:52,394
But the perfect car, so that for
527
00:11:52,396 --> 00:11:53,595
once in her life, Ms. Archer
528
00:11:53,597 --> 00:11:54,763
can't bitch.
529
00:11:54,765 --> 00:11:55,964
And we'll be driving through a
530
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,165
war zone, so it needs to be
531
00:11:57,167 --> 00:11:58,834
fast, although I guess
532
00:11:58,836 --> 00:12:00,168
reliability is more important
533
00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:01,403
than speed.
534
00:12:01,405 --> 00:12:02,504
Well, up to a point.
535
00:12:02,506 --> 00:12:03,772
Although bulletproof glass
536
00:12:03,774 --> 00:12:04,973
wouldn't be bad.
537
00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:06,241
I... Damn it, Figgis!
538
00:12:06,243 --> 00:12:08,176
You're overthinking this!
539
00:12:08,178 --> 00:12:10,178
Oh.
540
00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,080
Now that is a vehicle.
541
00:12:12,082 --> 00:12:13,281
Hmm.
542
00:12:13,283 --> 00:12:14,483
Let's see Ms. Archer bitch about
543
00:12:14,485 --> 00:12:15,651
that.
544
00:12:15,653 --> 00:12:16,852
>> MALORY: You idiot!
545
00:12:16,854 --> 00:12:18,086
I gave you one simple job,
546
00:12:18,088 --> 00:12:19,287
and...
547
00:12:19,289 --> 00:12:20,489
>> RAY: I looked in her room!
548
00:12:20,491 --> 00:12:21,657
>> MALORY: And?!
549
00:12:21,659 --> 00:12:22,858
>> RAY: And she wasn't in it?
550
00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:24,092
(thudding, grunting)
551
00:12:24,094 --> 00:12:25,293
>> MALORY: Pam, if you want to
552
00:12:25,295 --> 00:12:26,495
scuff them that badly, just
553
00:12:26,497 --> 00:12:27,863
throw them down the...
554
00:12:27,865 --> 00:12:30,098
(Pam grunts, thudding)
555
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:32,467
(Malory sighs heavily)
556
00:12:32,469 --> 00:12:33,869
>> PAM: What, were you not gonna
557
00:12:33,871 --> 00:12:35,103
say stairs?
558
00:12:35,105 --> 00:12:36,705
>> ARCHER: Hang on, hang on!
559
00:12:36,707 --> 00:12:37,939
Wait, wait, wait. Damn it!
560
00:12:37,941 --> 00:12:39,141
I have something for this.
561
00:12:39,143 --> 00:12:40,342
It's um, uh...
562
00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:41,543
>> MALORY: Well, I just assume
563
00:12:41,545 --> 00:12:42,944
it was about that ad with the
564
00:12:42,946 --> 00:12:44,146
suitcase and the gorilla.
565
00:12:44,148 --> 00:12:45,347
>> PAM: Ouch.
566
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:46,548
>> LANA: Which, turns out, was
567
00:12:46,550 --> 00:12:47,549
actually a man in a gorilla
568
00:12:47,551 --> 00:12:48,817
costume.
569
00:12:48,819 --> 00:12:50,018
>> MALORY: Making the comparison
570
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,219
even more accurate.
571
00:12:51,221 --> 00:12:52,454
>> CALDERÓN: Ow!
572
00:12:52,456 --> 00:12:53,555
>> PAM: Seriously.
573
00:12:53,557 --> 00:12:54,556
>> CHERLENE: Let go of me!
574
00:12:54,558 --> 00:12:55,557
>> RAY: There, I found her.
575
00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:56,558
>> CALDERÓN: Cherlene, please!
576
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:57,559
>> CHERLENE: No, I said!
577
00:12:57,561 --> 00:12:58,560
>> CALDERÓN: B-But, Cherlene,
578
00:12:58,562 --> 00:12:59,561
listen, I love you!
579
00:12:59,563 --> 00:13:00,562
I-I will divorce my wife.
580
00:13:00,564 --> 00:13:01,830
(Juliana gasps)
581
00:13:01,832 --> 00:13:02,864
>> JULIANA: You what?!
582
00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,032
>> CALDERÓN: Oh, don't act so
583
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:05,033
surprised, Juliana!
584
00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:06,034
It's not like we're in love
585
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:07,169
anymore!
586
00:13:07,171 --> 00:13:08,370
>> JULIANA: Anymore?!
587
00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:09,371
We were never in love!
588
00:13:09,373 --> 00:13:10,472
>> ARCHER: And suddenly I don't
589
00:13:10,474 --> 00:13:11,573
feel so bad.
590
00:13:11,575 --> 00:13:12,741
>> LANA: You did before?
591
00:13:12,743 --> 00:13:13,742
>> ARCHER Oh, my God, you have
592
00:13:13,744 --> 00:13:14,976
no idea.
593
00:13:14,978 --> 00:13:15,977
It's like this ache in the pit
594
00:13:15,979 --> 00:13:17,179
of your stomach.
595
00:13:17,181 --> 00:13:18,180
>> LANA: Are you talking about
596
00:13:18,182 --> 00:13:19,381
your balls?
597
00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:20,382
>> ARCHER: Yeah, but it's
598
00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:21,583
wearing off now.
599
00:13:21,585 --> 00:13:22,584
>> JULIANA: And I will tell you
600
00:13:22,586 --> 00:13:23,585
the same thing I told your
601
00:13:23,587 --> 00:13:24,586
father!
602
00:13:24,588 --> 00:13:25,754
I will never give you a divorce!
603
00:13:25,756 --> 00:13:26,722
>> CALDERÓN: Tell that to the
604
00:13:26,724 --> 00:13:27,723
Chief Justice of the Supreme
605
00:13:27,725 --> 00:13:28,924
Court.
606
00:13:28,926 --> 00:13:29,925
Oh, wait, you just did!
607
00:13:29,927 --> 00:13:31,159
>> CHERLENE: Wait.
608
00:13:31,161 --> 00:13:32,360
You can't be both!
609
00:13:32,362 --> 00:13:33,361
>> CALDERÓN: Your William Howard
610
00:13:33,363 --> 00:13:34,563
Taft was.
611
00:13:34,565 --> 00:13:35,564
>> CHERLENE: Not at the same
612
00:13:35,566 --> 00:13:36,732
time!
613
00:13:36,734 --> 00:13:37,733
>> CALDERÓN: He absolutely was.
614
00:13:37,735 --> 00:13:38,734
>> CHERLENE: Is that true?
615
00:13:38,736 --> 00:13:39,735
>> LANA: Oh, I don't want to...
616
00:13:39,737 --> 00:13:40,736
>> RAY: I want to say church and
617
00:13:40,738 --> 00:13:41,937
state?
618
00:13:41,939 --> 00:13:42,938
>> ARCHER: Wow. We get home,
619
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:44,172
first thing, we are
620
00:13:44,174 --> 00:13:45,707
binge-watching Schoolhouse Rock.
621
00:13:45,709 --> 00:13:46,575
>> JULIANA: You can binge-watch
622
00:13:46,577 --> 00:13:47,209
it in hell!
623
00:13:47,211 --> 00:13:48,076
(others gasp)
624
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:48,910
>> ARCHER: Well, if anything,
625
00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:49,745
that's heaven.
626
00:13:49,747 --> 00:13:50,612
>> JULIANA: And you can die
627
00:13:50,614 --> 00:13:51,880
knowing that the last man inside
628
00:13:51,882 --> 00:13:53,782
of me was Archer.
629
00:13:53,784 --> 00:13:54,783
>> CALDERÓN: What?
630
00:13:54,785 --> 00:13:55,784
(others chatter)
631
00:13:55,786 --> 00:13:56,785
>> ARCHER: Oh, uh, yeah, so
632
00:13:56,787 --> 00:13:57,786
about that...
633
00:13:57,788 --> 00:13:58,787
>> CALDERÓN: Well, I hope it was
634
00:13:58,789 --> 00:13:59,888
worth dying for.
635
00:13:59,890 --> 00:14:00,889
>> ARCHER: Honestly?
636
00:14:00,891 --> 00:14:01,890
>> JULIANA: Right?
637
00:14:01,892 --> 00:14:03,225
>> ARCHER: I... Well, no, but
638
00:14:03,227 --> 00:14:04,526
the first time...
639
00:14:04,528 --> 00:14:05,961
>> JULIANA: Honestly?
640
00:14:05,963 --> 00:14:06,962
>> ARCHER: No, the first time.
641
00:14:06,964 --> 00:14:07,963
>> CALDERÓN: Good-bye, Mr.
642
00:14:07,965 --> 00:14:08,964
Archer.
643
00:14:08,966 --> 00:14:09,931
Give my regards to William
644
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,533
Howard Taft.
645
00:14:11,535 --> 00:14:13,769
>> ARCHER (slow motion): No.
646
00:14:13,771 --> 00:14:18,440
>> PAM (slow motion): No....!
647
00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:20,876
>> OTHERS (slow motion): No...!
648
00:14:28,551 --> 00:14:30,752
>> ARCHER (slow motion): Pam?
649
00:14:30,754 --> 00:14:32,387
(clears throat)
650
00:14:32,389 --> 00:14:34,823
(normal voice): Pam?
651
00:14:41,764 --> 00:14:43,765
>> ARCHER: Pam, seriously.
652
00:14:43,767 --> 00:14:45,634
>> LANA: Archer...
653
00:14:45,636 --> 00:14:46,968
>> ARCHER: Lana, shut up. Pam!
654
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:47,969
>> LANA: Archer, I think
655
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:48,804
she's...
656
00:14:48,806 --> 00:14:50,639
(sniffles) I think she's...
657
00:14:50,641 --> 00:14:51,640
>> CALDERÓN: Dead.
658
00:14:51,642 --> 00:14:52,974
(crying) And now you, Mr.
659
00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:55,010
Archer, can join her in...
660
00:14:55,012 --> 00:14:56,912
>> CHERLENE: Out... law...
661
00:14:56,914 --> 00:14:57,913
country.
662
00:14:57,915 --> 00:14:58,980
(Juliana screaming)
663
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,816
(gunshots)
664
00:15:00,818 --> 00:15:01,817
(Calderón grunting)
665
00:15:01,819 --> 00:15:03,018
I'm gonna go Jerry Lee
666
00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:04,653
on your ass!
667
00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:05,654
(Juliana screaming)
668
00:15:05,656 --> 00:15:07,856
(gunshots)
669
00:15:07,858 --> 00:15:10,625
>> LANA: Um, do you want to...?
670
00:15:10,627 --> 00:15:11,626
>> ARCHER: Yes. Wait, were you
671
00:15:11,628 --> 00:15:12,627
gonna say "watch"?
672
00:15:12,629 --> 00:15:13,628
>> LANA: I was gonna say "help,"
673
00:15:13,630 --> 00:15:14,629
but...
674
00:15:14,631 --> 00:15:15,697
>> ARCHER: Shut up. Did she say
675
00:15:15,699 --> 00:15:16,698
she used to be married to
676
00:15:16,700 --> 00:15:17,799
Calderón's father?
677
00:15:17,801 --> 00:15:18,800
>> PAM: (sniffs) Yeah, that's
678
00:15:18,802 --> 00:15:19,968
some messed-up shit.
679
00:15:19,970 --> 00:15:20,969
>> RAY: Hey!
680
00:15:20,971 --> 00:15:21,970
>> ARCHER: Pam!
681
00:15:21,972 --> 00:15:24,005
>> LANA: How are you not dead?
682
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:24,973
>> PAM: (chuckles) 'Cause I'm
683
00:15:24,975 --> 00:15:25,974
not a pussy?
684
00:15:25,976 --> 00:15:27,008
And also probably 'cause of
685
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,009
this.
686
00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:29,010
>> MALORY: Is that Cyril's?
687
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,011
>> PAM: Yep.
688
00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:31,012
>> RAY: Um...
689
00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:32,013
>> ARCHER: You know they're not
690
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:33,014
reusable, right?
691
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,115
Once the fibers get damaged,
692
00:15:34,117 --> 00:15:35,116
that's basically just a sweater
693
00:15:35,118 --> 00:15:36,618
vest.
694
00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:38,854
>> PAM (sucks air through
teeth): Oh, good.
695
00:15:38,856 --> 00:15:40,055
'Cause for a second there, I
696
00:15:40,057 --> 00:15:41,890
thought I actually was a pussy.
697
00:15:41,892 --> 00:15:42,891
>> ARCHER: Hurts, huh?
698
00:15:42,893 --> 00:15:43,892
(Cherlene and Juliana screaming)
699
00:15:43,894 --> 00:15:44,893
(Cherlene shouts)
700
00:15:44,895 --> 00:15:45,894
>> RAY: Hey, so...
701
00:15:45,896 --> 00:15:46,895
>> LANA: Yeah. Now do you want
702
00:15:46,897 --> 00:15:47,896
to help?
703
00:15:47,898 --> 00:15:48,897
>> ARCHER (sighs, groans): Okay,
704
00:15:48,899 --> 00:15:49,898
Mother, give me my gun.
705
00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:50,899
>> MALORY: I don't have it-- I
706
00:15:50,901 --> 00:15:51,900
threw it away.
707
00:15:51,902 --> 00:15:52,901
>> LANA: You what?!
708
00:15:52,903 --> 00:15:53,902
>> RAY: What?!
709
00:15:53,904 --> 00:15:54,903
>> ARCHER: Why would you throw
710
00:15:54,905 --> 00:15:56,037
away a perfectly good gun?!
711
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,038
>> MALORY: Because it touched
712
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,139
your... junk.
713
00:15:58,141 --> 00:15:59,207
>> ARCHER: How dirty do you
714
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:00,508
think my junk is?
715
00:16:00,510 --> 00:16:01,843
>> MALORY: As dirty as if it
716
00:16:01,845 --> 00:16:03,078
were made of dirt and then got
717
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:04,079
dropped in some different dirt
718
00:16:04,081 --> 00:16:05,881
and then Pig-Pen came along and
719
00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:07,082
kicked it around with his dirty
720
00:16:07,084 --> 00:16:08,083
shoes.
721
00:16:08,085 --> 00:16:09,084
>> ARCHER: Fair enough.
722
00:16:09,086 --> 00:16:10,085
(gunshot)
723
00:16:10,087 --> 00:16:11,086
(Lana and Malory gasp)
724
00:16:11,088 --> 00:16:12,020
>> CALDERÓN: Nobody move.
725
00:16:12,022 --> 00:16:13,655
Except you, Juliana.
726
00:16:13,657 --> 00:16:14,990
Let go of Cherlene and throw
727
00:16:14,992 --> 00:16:18,226
down the gun.
728
00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:19,694
Now, then...
729
00:16:19,696 --> 00:16:20,896
>> JULIANA: Ow, ow, ow, ow.
730
00:16:20,898 --> 00:16:21,897
Stop it. Stop it.
731
00:16:21,899 --> 00:16:22,898
Ow. No. Ow, ow, ow. Ooh...
732
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:23,899
(gunshot)
733
00:16:23,901 --> 00:16:24,900
>> CALDERÓN: Now, then!
734
00:16:24,902 --> 00:16:27,168
Cherlene, stop this at once.
735
00:16:27,170 --> 00:16:29,104
As your husband, I command you.
736
00:16:29,106 --> 00:16:30,105
(others gasp)
737
00:16:30,107 --> 00:16:31,106
>> CHERLENE: My what?!
738
00:16:31,108 --> 00:16:32,107
>> CALDERÓN: Sorry, hang on.
739
00:16:32,109 --> 00:16:33,675
Juliana, I divorce you, but also
740
00:16:33,677 --> 00:16:35,043
I wish you the best of luck in
741
00:16:35,045 --> 00:16:36,544
the years ahead, which you will
742
00:16:36,546 --> 00:16:37,946
spend in prison.
743
00:16:37,948 --> 00:16:39,881
Cherlene, I now pronounce us
744
00:16:39,883 --> 00:16:41,049
husband and wife.
745
00:16:41,051 --> 00:16:43,051
>> PAM (sniffs): Weddings always
746
00:16:43,053 --> 00:16:44,085
get me.
747
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,587
>> LANA: Plus cocaine.
748
00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:46,588
>> CHERLENE: No! We are so not
749
00:16:46,590 --> 00:16:47,589
married!
750
00:16:47,591 --> 00:16:48,590
Are you...?
751
00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:49,591
Wait, which is it?
752
00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:50,592
>> ARCHER: Literally.
753
00:16:50,594 --> 00:16:51,593
>> CHERLENE: Are you literally
754
00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:52,594
insane?!
755
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:53,795
>> CALDERÓN: No, but my word is
756
00:16:53,797 --> 00:16:55,130
literally law.
757
00:16:55,132 --> 00:16:56,131
One of the perks of being a
758
00:16:56,133 --> 00:16:57,132
dictator.
759
00:16:57,134 --> 00:16:58,133
>> CHERLENE: You said you
760
00:16:58,135 --> 00:16:59,567
weren't a dictator!
761
00:16:59,569 --> 00:17:00,902
>> CALDERÓN: I-I lied, okay?
762
00:17:00,904 --> 00:17:02,704
But hopefully our marriage is
763
00:17:02,706 --> 00:17:04,139
strong enough that, together and
764
00:17:04,141 --> 00:17:05,140
over time, we can work through
765
00:17:05,142 --> 00:17:06,141
it.
766
00:17:06,143 --> 00:17:07,142
>> ARCHER: Well, at least he
767
00:17:07,144 --> 00:17:08,143
admits he was wrong.
768
00:17:08,145 --> 00:17:09,144
>> LANA: Yeah, 'cause that makes
769
00:17:09,146 --> 00:17:10,145
it all better.
770
00:17:10,147 --> 00:17:11,146
>> ARCHER: When did you get so
771
00:17:11,148 --> 00:17:12,147
cynical?
772
00:17:12,149 --> 00:17:13,148
>> CALDERÓN: The rest of you...
773
00:17:13,150 --> 00:17:14,282
are under arrest!
774
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:15,283
>> OTHERS: What?
775
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:16,284
>> CALDERÓN: Except those of you
776
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:17,285
who are to be executed.
777
00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:18,753
>> KRIEGER: Wait, what?
778
00:17:18,755 --> 00:17:21,156
Hey, guys.
779
00:17:21,158 --> 00:17:23,091
Um...
780
00:17:23,093 --> 00:17:25,126
>> CALDERÓN: In which case...
781
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:26,828
I would not put a lot of money
782
00:17:26,830 --> 00:17:28,596
in my prison canteen account.
783
00:17:28,598 --> 00:17:29,597
I'm looking your way, Mr.
784
00:17:29,599 --> 00:17:30,598
Archer.
785
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:31,833
>> ARCHER: Wait. Whoa, no. I...
786
00:17:31,835 --> 00:17:32,934
>> MALORY: Well, then, good luck
787
00:17:32,936 --> 00:17:34,102
getting any more weapons,
788
00:17:34,104 --> 00:17:36,304
you-you cut-rate Castro!
789
00:17:36,306 --> 00:17:37,305
>> CALDERÓN: Ha!
790
00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:38,606
I don't need them.
791
00:17:38,608 --> 00:17:40,175
As we speak, my scientists are
792
00:17:40,177 --> 00:17:42,110
working on a secret weapon, and
793
00:17:42,112 --> 00:17:44,946
soon I will water our coca
794
00:17:44,948 --> 00:17:46,181
fields with the rebels' blood!
795
00:17:46,183 --> 00:17:47,182
(others groan)
796
00:17:47,184 --> 00:17:48,183
>> CHERLENE: Gross!
797
00:17:48,185 --> 00:17:49,184
I can't believe I married you.
798
00:17:49,186 --> 00:17:50,185
(door opens)
799
00:17:50,187 --> 00:17:51,186
(others gasp)
800
00:17:51,188 --> 00:17:52,187
>> COMANDANTE: Presidente.
801
00:17:52,189 --> 00:17:53,188
>> CALDERÓN: Good! Yes.
802
00:17:53,190 --> 00:17:54,189
I am glad you are here.
803
00:17:54,191 --> 00:17:55,123
I have been bluffing the whole
804
00:17:55,125 --> 00:17:56,191
time, look.
805
00:17:56,193 --> 00:17:57,192
(clicking)
806
00:17:57,194 --> 00:17:58,193
Totally out of bullets.
807
00:17:58,195 --> 00:17:59,194
(chuckles) See that?
808
00:17:59,196 --> 00:18:00,195
>> ARCHER: My bad, guys.
809
00:18:00,197 --> 00:18:01,196
That's on me.
810
00:18:01,198 --> 00:18:02,197
>> CALDERÓN: Anyway, okay, now,
811
00:18:02,199 --> 00:18:03,198
Comandante, arrest these
812
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,199
people.
813
00:18:04,201 --> 00:18:05,200
>> COMANDANTE: But, Presidente,
814
00:18:05,202 --> 00:18:06,201
the rebels, they have smashed
815
00:18:06,203 --> 00:18:07,602
our counterattack.
816
00:18:07,604 --> 00:18:08,603
(others react)
817
00:18:08,605 --> 00:18:09,604
They are headed for the palace.
818
00:18:09,606 --> 00:18:10,605
Hurry! We must get you out of
819
00:18:10,607 --> 00:18:11,606
here.
820
00:18:11,608 --> 00:18:12,607
>> CHERLENE: Wait, and me!
821
00:18:12,609 --> 00:18:13,608
I'm the first lady!
822
00:18:13,610 --> 00:18:14,609
>> COMANDANTE: Please, hurry.
823
00:18:14,611 --> 00:18:15,610
We have to go before...
824
00:18:15,612 --> 00:18:16,611
(loud crash)
825
00:18:16,613 --> 00:18:17,979
(all gasp)
826
00:18:17,981 --> 00:18:19,047
(engine rumbling)
827
00:18:19,049 --> 00:18:20,148
>> CALDERÓN: W-Well?
828
00:18:20,150 --> 00:18:21,149
Don't just stand there, you
829
00:18:21,151 --> 00:18:22,150
cowards!
830
00:18:22,152 --> 00:18:23,151
Do something!
831
00:18:23,153 --> 00:18:24,786
(weapons clatter)
832
00:18:24,788 --> 00:18:26,121
Oh, really? That-that is
833
00:18:26,123 --> 00:18:27,122
obviously not what I...
834
00:18:27,124 --> 00:18:28,123
>> COMANDANTE: Don't shoot,
835
00:18:28,125 --> 00:18:29,124
don't shoot!
836
00:18:29,126 --> 00:18:30,191
We surrender!
837
00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:32,627
(engine shuts off)
838
00:18:32,629 --> 00:18:33,995
>> CYRIL: Uh, what's that?
839
00:18:33,997 --> 00:18:34,996
>> PAM: Cyril?
840
00:18:34,998 --> 00:18:35,997
>> CYRIL: Yeah, I couldn't hear
841
00:18:35,999 --> 00:18:36,998
you over the sound of this
842
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,633
gigantic friggin' tank.
843
00:18:38,635 --> 00:18:39,634
(chuckles)
844
00:18:39,636 --> 00:18:40,668
>> MALORY: You idiot, that's the
845
00:18:40,670 --> 00:18:42,070
vehicle you found?
846
00:18:42,072 --> 00:18:43,872
I meant a limousine or...
847
00:18:43,874 --> 00:18:45,073
>> CYRIL: Jesus God, woman,
848
00:18:45,075 --> 00:18:46,374
nothing is ever good enough for
849
00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:47,642
you!
850
00:18:47,644 --> 00:18:48,643
>> ARCHER: Right?
851
00:18:48,645 --> 00:18:49,644
>> COMANDANTE: Please, sir!
852
00:18:49,646 --> 00:18:50,879
Accept our surrender!
853
00:18:50,881 --> 00:18:51,880
>> CALDERÓN: No, not to him!
854
00:18:51,882 --> 00:18:53,314
(groans) He's not the rebels!
855
00:18:53,316 --> 00:18:54,382
>> LANA: Kind of a moot point,
856
00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:55,817
though, isn't it?
857
00:18:55,819 --> 00:18:56,885
What with the tank and all.
858
00:18:56,887 --> 00:18:58,153
>> CYRIL: Yeah. So I hereby...
859
00:18:58,155 --> 00:18:59,154
>> ARCHER: Accept your
860
00:18:59,156 --> 00:19:00,155
surrender!
861
00:19:00,157 --> 00:19:01,156
Dibs! I'm in charge!
862
00:19:01,158 --> 00:19:02,223
Cyril, get out of the...
863
00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:05,693
(whirring)
864
00:19:05,695 --> 00:19:07,028
>> CYRIL: Sorry? I still
865
00:19:07,030 --> 00:19:08,263
couldn't hear you.
866
00:19:08,265 --> 00:19:09,264
(others laugh)
867
00:19:09,266 --> 00:19:10,198
>> ARCHER: Yeah, Cyril, you are
868
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,033
sorry because you still look
869
00:19:12,035 --> 00:19:14,235
like an idiot.
870
00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:15,670
You look like, uh...
871
00:19:15,672 --> 00:19:17,839
(laughing): Oh, my God.
872
00:19:17,841 --> 00:19:19,074
Hang on. Wait, wait, wait.
873
00:19:19,076 --> 00:19:20,075
I-I actually have something for
874
00:19:20,077 --> 00:19:21,076
this!
875
00:19:21,078 --> 00:19:22,343
(inhales deeply) Mi...
876
00:19:22,345 --> 00:19:24,245
>> PAM: Mike Ducockless!
877
00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:26,681
(all laugh but Archer)
878
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:33,822
Oh, boy.
879
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:37,892
(Archer roaring)
880
00:19:37,894 --> 00:19:38,960
Ha, ha!
881
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,764
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
882
00:20:08,257 --> 00:20:10,558
>> MAN: Made... in Georgia.
882
00:20:11,305 --> 00:21:11,572
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