1
00:00:01,011 --> 00:00:04,151
You have no idea who this person is.
2
00:00:04,161 --> 00:00:06,578
- No.
- Or what this is about.
3
00:00:06,724 --> 00:00:07,804
Mm, no.
4
00:00:07,814 --> 00:00:10,864
"Zissner, office, meeting, 10:00."
5
00:00:10,874 --> 00:00:13,157
And you have no idea what that means.
6
00:00:13,167 --> 00:00:15,913
I feel like I made that very clear.
7
00:00:15,923 --> 00:00:18,305
Unlike this cryptic idiocy!
8
00:00:18,338 --> 00:00:20,611
Why do you even bother to answer the phone?
9
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:22,739
Because you scream at me when I don't!
10
00:00:22,749 --> 00:00:24,912
Volume! Jesus!
11
00:00:24,945 --> 00:00:28,049
My God, Lana, you look like hell.
12
00:00:28,082 --> 00:00:30,017
Like I've been saying for years.
13
00:00:30,051 --> 00:00:33,221
Woman, you do not want to
light this particular fuse.
14
00:00:33,253 --> 00:00:35,537
A.J. was up all night with the croup.
15
00:00:35,547 --> 00:00:36,690
Did you give her bourbon?
16
00:00:36,724 --> 00:00:38,760
You know, I was going
to, and then I realized
17
00:00:38,792 --> 00:00:39,994
that, no, I wasn't going to.
18
00:00:40,027 --> 00:00:41,562
Always worked for Sterling.
19
00:00:42,238 --> 00:00:44,065
And you're just gonna...
20
00:00:44,098 --> 00:00:46,734
- Yeah, too sleepy.
- What is this?
21
00:00:46,768 --> 00:00:49,071
"Zissner"? Wait, as in Don Zissner?
22
00:00:49,104 --> 00:00:50,505
She has no idea.
23
00:00:50,538 --> 00:00:53,008
Which, again, very clear on that.
24
00:00:53,041 --> 00:00:56,545
He's a huge producer. He makes those
massive, stupid, sharky blockbusters.
25
00:00:56,577 --> 00:01:00,536
Sharknoid, Sharknoid 2, Sharknoid
3 In 3-D, Sharknoid 4, Shark...
26
00:01:00,546 --> 00:01:03,685
- We get it!
- Let me finish. Sharknoid Five.
27
00:01:03,717 --> 00:01:06,220
Is that who we're meeting with?
28
00:01:06,253 --> 00:01:07,660
Maybe.
29
00:01:07,670 --> 00:01:10,891
Hm, "Zissner, office, meeting, 10:00."
30
00:01:10,925 --> 00:01:12,594
That's all Carol told you?
31
00:01:12,627 --> 00:01:14,863
Yes, we're to meet Zissner
in his office at 10:00.
32
00:01:14,896 --> 00:01:17,199
- But other than that...
- We have no idea.
33
00:01:17,232 --> 00:01:19,401
Or why she even bothers
to answer the phone.
34
00:01:19,434 --> 00:01:21,336
Well, otherwise Mother screams at her.
35
00:01:22,566 --> 00:01:23,730
- Good morning.
- Hi,
36
00:01:23,740 --> 00:01:25,106
Cyril Figgis, Figgis Agency.
37
00:01:25,140 --> 00:01:27,104
We have a 10:00 with Mr. Zissner?
38
00:01:27,114 --> 00:01:28,752
- Maybe.
- I'm sorry?
39
00:01:28,762 --> 00:01:29,877
I'm sorry?
40
00:01:29,910 --> 00:01:32,749
I'm sorry. Is this the Figgis Agency?
41
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:36,050
- Maybe.
- Then I think I have a 10:00 appointment.
42
00:01:36,083 --> 00:01:37,485
I'm Barbie Zissner.
43
00:01:37,518 --> 00:01:38,819
Oh!
44
00:01:38,853 --> 00:01:40,988
Oh, please forgive me, Miss...
45
00:01:41,021 --> 00:01:44,825
- Mrs.
- Mrs. Zissner, of course, yes.
46
00:01:44,859 --> 00:01:46,560
Mrs. Donald Zissner.
47
00:01:46,593 --> 00:01:48,062
Yes.
48
00:01:48,095 --> 00:01:49,463
Your 10:00 is here.
49
00:01:49,497 --> 00:01:52,332
I know. Thank you.
50
00:01:52,342 --> 00:01:54,636
You're welcome.
51
00:01:54,669 --> 00:01:56,237
Gentlemen, thank you for coming.
52
00:01:56,271 --> 00:01:59,173
First off, killer marketing campaign.
53
00:01:59,183 --> 00:02:00,308
Goddamn it.
54
00:02:00,341 --> 00:02:04,011
Second, you've each been given a
non-disclosure agreement to sign.
55
00:02:04,045 --> 00:02:07,015
If any of you repeat
anything said in this room,
56
00:02:07,047 --> 00:02:10,684
I will skull-rape you so
hard, legally speaking,
57
00:02:10,718 --> 00:02:12,587
that your
great-great-grandchildren
58
00:02:12,619 --> 00:02:14,522
will spend their short, miserable lives
59
00:02:14,556 --> 00:02:16,457
as indentured servants to mine.
60
00:02:16,491 --> 00:02:17,625
Is that clear?
61
00:02:17,635 --> 00:02:18,792
- Yes, sir.
- Okay.
62
00:02:18,826 --> 00:02:20,295
Third...
63
00:02:20,327 --> 00:02:21,862
I'm not really sure how to put this,
64
00:02:21,896 --> 00:02:23,665
so I'll just go ahead and say it.
65
00:02:23,697 --> 00:02:27,101
I think my husband is cheating on me.
66
00:02:27,135 --> 00:02:28,536
- That's so sad.
- Oh.
67
00:02:28,570 --> 00:02:30,605
I think my wife is cheating on me.
68
00:02:30,637 --> 00:02:31,939
No.
69
00:02:31,973 --> 00:02:34,475
And so I want to hire you.
70
00:02:34,509 --> 00:02:36,218
To catch her in the act.
71
00:02:36,228 --> 00:02:38,213
I'll need video confirmation, of course.
72
00:02:38,246 --> 00:02:40,881
So you want us to follow him and...
73
00:02:40,915 --> 00:02:42,617
No, not just follow her.
74
00:02:42,649 --> 00:02:44,618
More than that. Much more.
75
00:02:44,652 --> 00:02:46,439
There's just too much at stake here.
76
00:02:46,449 --> 00:02:48,957
I have to be a hundred percent sure.
77
00:02:48,990 --> 00:02:51,392
And so I want one of you...
78
00:02:51,426 --> 00:02:55,171
- to seduce my husband and tape it.
- To seduce my wife and tape it.
79
00:02:55,181 --> 00:02:58,466
Aw, man. Lousy timing.
80
00:02:58,498 --> 00:03:01,748
My bush looks like I'm
sitting on Jerry Garcia's face.
81
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:09,074
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
82
00:03:33,862 --> 00:03:38,123
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
83
00:03:38,539 --> 00:03:41,076
Because A, it's super skeevy, and...
84
00:03:41,109 --> 00:03:44,411
And B, possibly extremely lucrative!
85
00:03:44,445 --> 00:03:47,349
She agreed to pay us $20,000.
86
00:03:47,381 --> 00:03:50,252
And Zissner's worth God
knows how many millions,
87
00:03:50,284 --> 00:03:53,387
so if we can wedge ourselves
into that divorce...
88
00:03:53,420 --> 00:03:54,889
And he tells two friends.
89
00:03:54,922 --> 00:03:56,791
And she tells two friends.
90
00:03:56,824 --> 00:03:59,551
And so on and so on and so on.
91
00:03:59,561 --> 00:04:01,898
I thought you said the
divorce business was shabby.
92
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,198
If it's poor people.
93
00:04:03,230 --> 00:04:05,975
So what, you think you're
literally gonna pimp me out?
94
00:04:05,985 --> 00:04:08,205
- Who says she's pimping you?
- Why does she get to get pimped out?
95
00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:11,239
I'm sorry. Is there another option?
96
00:04:11,271 --> 00:04:13,974
- Uh, boosh?
- And-or kakow?
97
00:04:14,007 --> 00:04:15,939
Pam, please, this is serious.
98
00:04:15,949 --> 00:04:17,323
Uh, wha...
99
00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:18,607
I am serious.
100
00:04:18,617 --> 00:04:20,915
Cyril, come on. You can't do it.
101
00:04:20,948 --> 00:04:23,118
Zissner wants us to prove
his wife's cheating on him,
102
00:04:23,151 --> 00:04:26,691
not that she's capable of
aspirating her own vomit.
103
00:04:26,701 --> 00:04:28,088
So what, you're going to do it?
104
00:04:28,122 --> 00:04:31,759
Well, I mean, I think we should
put our best foot forward here.
105
00:04:31,792 --> 00:04:33,295
Or at least our best five inches.
106
00:04:33,328 --> 00:04:34,429
Hey-oh!
107
00:04:34,461 --> 00:04:36,096
Who are you, Wheeler and Woolsey?
108
00:04:36,129 --> 00:04:37,564
- Who?
- Typical.
109
00:04:37,598 --> 00:04:39,434
So you're just gonna cheat on Lana.
110
00:04:39,466 --> 00:04:42,503
Oh, right. Goddamn it.
111
00:04:42,537 --> 00:04:45,807
I mean, even if Archer did basically
cheat on me with Veronica Deane...
112
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:47,107
- Oh, please.
- One kiss.
113
00:04:47,141 --> 00:04:48,809
I refuse to stoop to his level.
114
00:04:48,843 --> 00:04:50,944
Lana, it's $20,000.
115
00:04:50,978 --> 00:04:52,314
I don't care if it's...
116
00:04:52,346 --> 00:04:53,914
Okay, I almost said 20 million,
117
00:04:53,948 --> 00:04:55,483
but obviously I would bang him for that.
118
00:04:55,516 --> 00:04:57,485
Ah-ha! So you do have a price.
119
00:04:57,518 --> 00:05:01,323
Yes, duh, but it's not 20 grand,
Ron Measly, so you can count me out.
120
00:05:01,355 --> 00:05:03,791
Welp, guess I'm gonna need a bucket of ice
121
00:05:03,824 --> 00:05:05,192
and a roll of gaffer tape.
122
00:05:05,225 --> 00:05:07,095
- For?
- D-I-Y Brazilian.
123
00:05:07,127 --> 00:05:09,370
When it's this bushy, the
clippers just get stoved up.
124
00:05:09,380 --> 00:05:10,798
- Ew.
- Pam!
125
00:05:10,831 --> 00:05:13,593
Well, I'm sorry. I didn't know
I was going to get called up
126
00:05:13,603 --> 00:05:16,470
- to the big show.
- Nobody's calling you anywhere.
127
00:05:16,504 --> 00:05:18,571
I don't know. I think
Pam's got a better chance
128
00:05:18,581 --> 00:05:21,542
of seducing Zissner than
Gluella DeVil over here.
129
00:05:21,576 --> 00:05:23,111
Are you insane?
130
00:05:23,143 --> 00:05:24,679
No, I'm dead serious.
131
00:05:24,711 --> 00:05:26,480
I'll bet you my share of the 20 grand
132
00:05:26,514 --> 00:05:29,283
that Ray can seduce
Barbie Zissner before you.
133
00:05:29,316 --> 00:05:31,119
What're you... I'm not in this!
134
00:05:31,151 --> 00:05:32,853
If we win, you get his share.
135
00:05:32,886 --> 00:05:35,357
- That's almost $7,000.
- I...
136
00:05:35,389 --> 00:05:38,971
- Where'd you get 7,000?
- I divided 20 by 3, Cyril.
137
00:05:38,981 --> 00:05:40,915
Come on, this is pretty basic stuff.
138
00:05:40,925 --> 00:05:44,064
Three. Tuh... what, we're just
not telling the women about this?
139
00:05:44,098 --> 00:05:45,165
Why would we?
140
00:05:45,199 --> 00:05:46,403
- Hm? Hm.
- Yeah, screw them.
141
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:48,136
Ray, come on. Be a team player.
142
00:05:48,168 --> 00:05:49,837
We can drink you through this.
143
00:05:49,870 --> 00:05:53,341
Would you have sex with a man for $7,000?
144
00:05:53,374 --> 00:05:55,975
I would if it had a
negative impact on Cyril.
145
00:05:55,985 --> 00:05:57,478
Wha... You hate me so much
146
00:05:57,511 --> 00:05:59,680
that you would actually
have sex with a man.
147
00:05:59,713 --> 00:06:00,881
I would date him.
148
00:06:00,915 --> 00:06:02,684
And I wish y'all every happiness,
149
00:06:02,716 --> 00:06:04,685
but I am not sleeping
with that woman, so...
150
00:06:04,718 --> 00:06:06,395
- So then Krieger!
- What?
151
00:06:06,405 --> 00:06:07,889
My share against yours.
152
00:06:07,922 --> 00:06:11,392
I bet Krieger can seduce
Barbie Zissner before you.
153
00:06:11,425 --> 00:06:13,694
You are on!
154
00:06:13,728 --> 00:06:15,327
Yeah, I am all over that action.
155
00:06:15,337 --> 00:06:16,898
Ha! Then it's a bet.
156
00:06:16,930 --> 00:06:18,766
- I got I got Krieger...
- I got Cyril...
157
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,567
I've got Pam. And you've got Cheryl.
158
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,638
Oh, please, Carol
couldn't seduce a Spaniard.
159
00:06:23,648 --> 00:06:25,240
Me, on the other hand...
160
00:06:25,273 --> 00:06:27,776
Only if Zissner's into archeology.
161
00:06:27,809 --> 00:06:30,879
You little... All right,
Lana, you have a bet.
162
00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:34,516
I'll take Carol, and we will
laugh all the way to the bank.
163
00:06:34,549 --> 00:06:36,785
- And we're not telling the men?
- Why would we?
164
00:06:36,817 --> 00:06:38,051
- Well, yeah.
- Mm-hm.
165
00:06:38,085 --> 00:06:39,754
Oh, man.
166
00:06:39,787 --> 00:06:42,390
I'm gonna seduce the dick off that dude.
167
00:06:43,458 --> 00:06:44,893
Oww!
168
00:06:44,925 --> 00:06:47,027
Yes, what mere mortal could resist
169
00:06:47,061 --> 00:06:49,931
that cornucopia of nature's treasures.
170
00:06:49,963 --> 00:06:51,266
Exactly.
171
00:06:51,299 --> 00:06:52,934
Ow!
172
00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:01,053
Okay, so if anybody asks,
it's Cyril's birthday,
173
00:07:01,063 --> 00:07:03,422
and he asked us to take
him to a strip club.
174
00:07:03,432 --> 00:07:06,903
They'll buy that. It's so
sad and pathetic and Cyril-y.
175
00:07:06,936 --> 00:07:09,840
Uh, first of all, I dated
Lana for three years.
176
00:07:09,872 --> 00:07:11,707
She knows when my birthday is.
177
00:07:11,740 --> 00:07:14,543
I think you wildly
overestimate that relationship.
178
00:07:14,576 --> 00:07:16,456
With who, Veronica Deane?
179
00:07:16,466 --> 00:07:19,249
With whom. And, no, not Veronica Deane,
180
00:07:19,281 --> 00:07:21,514
who, by the way, Lana, kissed me,
181
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,544
and also when is Cyril's birthday?
182
00:07:23,554 --> 00:07:25,588
Uh, how should I know?
183
00:07:25,622 --> 00:07:28,177
Trick question. It's today.
184
00:07:28,187 --> 00:07:29,640
And we're taking him to a strip club
185
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,927
because he is both sad and pathetic.
186
00:07:31,961 --> 00:07:33,196
- Typical.
- Oh, man.
187
00:07:33,228 --> 00:07:35,965
Give my regards to all the molestees.
188
00:07:35,999 --> 00:07:37,566
Wait. Where are you guys going?
189
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,012
None of your collective beeswax.
190
00:07:40,937 --> 00:07:43,685
Wow, that was way easier
than I thought it would be.
191
00:07:43,695 --> 00:07:46,376
Although, I guess so is everything.
192
00:07:46,682 --> 00:07:47,929
Krieger?
193
00:07:47,939 --> 00:07:49,566
Krieger. Krieger!
194
00:07:49,576 --> 00:07:50,957
Yep! Yep, yep, yep!
195
00:07:50,967 --> 00:07:52,282
Hey, guys.
196
00:07:52,314 --> 00:07:54,316
Shut up and brush your
teeth, comb your beard,
197
00:07:54,350 --> 00:07:56,720
and get some cologne on those
balls. You're coming with us.
198
00:07:56,752 --> 00:07:58,754
Done, done, done, done,
199
00:07:58,788 --> 00:08:00,790
and where exactly are we going?
200
00:08:00,824 --> 00:08:02,292
Well, first to buy you some clothes.
201
00:08:02,324 --> 00:08:04,265
And then... wait. Where are we going?
202
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:06,129
Uh, let's see. Zissner said she'd be
203
00:08:06,162 --> 00:08:08,398
at the "The Swindon Hotel for happy hour."
204
00:08:08,430 --> 00:08:10,800
The Swindon? Nice.
Sunset Lounge or main bar?
205
00:08:10,833 --> 00:08:13,469
Uh, let's see. It says here... "main bar."
206
00:08:13,502 --> 00:08:15,805
So, hey, should I get some new clothes?
207
00:08:15,838 --> 00:08:18,820
Cyril, the answer to that
question is almost always yes.
208
00:08:18,830 --> 00:08:22,679
You know, Thoreau said, "Beware of all
enterprises that require new clothes."
209
00:08:22,712 --> 00:08:26,082
Krieger, nobody gives a shit about
Doonesbury. Now, come on, chop-chop.
210
00:08:26,115 --> 00:08:28,151
Ooh, chop-chop what? What are we chopping?
211
00:08:28,184 --> 00:08:30,144
Nothing. You're going to have sex.
212
00:08:30,154 --> 00:08:32,354
With a... person?
213
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,130
- What are you...
- I'm gonna double the bet.
214
00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:35,677
- What bet?
- No, shut up.
215
00:08:35,687 --> 00:08:37,990
I would think "person" was implied.
216
00:08:38,023 --> 00:08:40,225
Yeah, no, I just didn't
wanna get in that head space
217
00:08:40,259 --> 00:08:41,494
and then, you know...
218
00:08:41,527 --> 00:08:42,796
No, I don't.
219
00:08:42,829 --> 00:08:43,797
- Double it!
- No!
220
00:08:43,830 --> 00:08:45,365
What bet?
221
00:08:45,398 --> 00:08:47,628
Okay, if you can seduce this woman...
222
00:08:47,638 --> 00:08:48,739
- Whoo.
- Yeah.
223
00:08:48,749 --> 00:08:50,636
And if you seduce her before Cyril does,
224
00:08:50,669 --> 00:08:53,194
you get five, uh, hundred...
225
00:08:53,204 --> 00:08:54,474
- Whoo.
- Thousand.
226
00:08:54,507 --> 00:08:56,743
- Whoo-hoo...
- Goddamn it. Dollars.
227
00:08:56,775 --> 00:08:58,377
I'm in. I can use the money
228
00:08:58,411 --> 00:09:00,661
to finish my Voight-Kampff machine.
229
00:09:00,845 --> 00:09:02,816
Or... not that.
230
00:09:03,217 --> 00:09:04,363
Forget I said that.
231
00:09:04,373 --> 00:09:07,253
Now, remember, Carol. The
key here, as with most things,
232
00:09:07,286 --> 00:09:10,490
is confidence. Which
Pam's got by the shitload.
233
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:13,225
For reasons known but to God.
234
00:09:13,259 --> 00:09:14,728
Well, a lot of it's the Brazilian.
235
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,529
They really make you feel sexy.
236
00:09:17,562 --> 00:09:21,100
At least until the ingrown hairs
turn me back into Bumplestiltskin.
237
00:09:21,134 --> 00:09:23,235
- B-ugh.
- I want to double the bet.
238
00:09:23,268 --> 00:09:25,214
Deal.
239
00:09:25,224 --> 00:09:29,743
- Damn.
- Just damn or daaaaaaamn!
240
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:31,725
Whichever is worse.
241
00:09:31,735 --> 00:09:33,212
Damn, Cyril!
242
00:09:33,245 --> 00:09:35,447
Really? You don't...
243
00:09:35,974 --> 00:09:39,518
- think it's too much?
- I... You know, I think it would be.
244
00:09:39,552 --> 00:09:40,947
- I wanna double the bet.
- No.
245
00:09:40,957 --> 00:09:43,756
- Give you five-to-two odds.
- No! Krieger, get out here!
246
00:09:44,923 --> 00:09:46,817
- Goddamn it.
- Five to one!
247
00:09:46,827 --> 00:09:49,528
Dude, take it! I feel amazing.
248
00:09:49,817 --> 00:09:51,364
And confidence is the key.
249
00:09:51,397 --> 00:09:53,398
And Thoreau was a idiot.
250
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:56,568
Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
251
00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:58,437
No, Lana dear, listen.
252
00:09:58,470 --> 00:10:01,140
All this nonsense about doubling the bet.
253
00:10:01,173 --> 00:10:02,922
What, are you trying to welsh on me?
254
00:10:02,932 --> 00:10:05,812
- Huh... Well, now who's a racist?
- That's not racist.
255
00:10:05,845 --> 00:10:07,946
- It is if you're black.
- There are black Welsh people.
256
00:10:07,980 --> 00:10:10,846
- Name one.
- Uh, Shirley Bassey.
257
00:10:10,856 --> 00:10:13,113
- Name 20 more.
- No, the bet stands.
258
00:10:13,123 --> 00:10:17,557
And that is just fine with us.
259
00:10:17,590 --> 00:10:19,277
Damn.
260
00:10:19,287 --> 00:10:21,126
I know. I look like a whore.
261
00:10:21,136 --> 00:10:22,895
As a matter of fact,
262
00:10:22,928 --> 00:10:24,898
I'm willing to double it again.
263
00:10:24,931 --> 00:10:25,932
Um...
264
00:10:25,965 --> 00:10:28,365
Psst. Lana, come here.
265
00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:30,123
Come here, come here, come here, come here.
266
00:10:30,133 --> 00:10:32,172
Take the bet. Double it.
267
00:10:32,205 --> 00:10:35,307
Is this mirror not working or...
268
00:10:35,340 --> 00:10:37,110
Don't be shitty. I'm in progress.
269
00:10:37,143 --> 00:10:39,913
And plus, Jerkleton, I've got this.
270
00:10:39,946 --> 00:10:42,115
Spanish Fly.
271
00:10:42,148 --> 00:10:44,301
- Right?
- Pam, that shit doesn't work.
272
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,585
Yes, it does.
273
00:10:45,618 --> 00:10:48,014
We just need to mix it
with some mole's blood.
274
00:10:48,024 --> 00:10:51,691
So... hey, what were you saying
about un-doubling the bet?
275
00:10:51,724 --> 00:10:53,292
Not a word.
276
00:10:53,326 --> 00:10:54,900
I'm serious, Ray. I'm about to punch you
277
00:10:54,910 --> 00:10:56,161
in the face with your own fists.
278
00:10:56,195 --> 00:10:58,598
First of all, you are a
mean drunk on germicide.
279
00:10:58,630 --> 00:11:00,966
It's blue Curaçao, you dumb idiot.
280
00:11:00,999 --> 00:11:02,668
Giuseppe keeps it in the back for me.
281
00:11:02,701 --> 00:11:04,770
Well, then you're a mean
drunk on blue Curaçao.
282
00:11:04,803 --> 00:11:07,834
I know. I'm actually banned
for life from Willemstad.
283
00:11:07,844 --> 00:11:10,844
Well, their loss. Now, come on. Put
your money where your fat blue mouth is.
284
00:11:10,876 --> 00:11:12,845
No, we're not doubling the bet.
285
00:11:12,879 --> 00:11:14,647
Come on. Don't you have faith in your man?
286
00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:15,949
Shoo, shoo!
287
00:11:15,981 --> 00:11:18,238
- Shoo, shoo, shoo! Shoo!
- Krieger!
288
00:11:18,248 --> 00:11:20,828
Shoo. Sh...
289
00:11:20,838 --> 00:11:21,955
I do not, no.
290
00:11:21,988 --> 00:11:24,029
Well, I've got faith in mine.
291
00:11:24,039 --> 00:11:26,243
Cause he is lookin' muy Rico Suave.
292
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:29,027
Oh, well, gracias, amigo.
293
00:11:29,061 --> 00:11:32,632
Pff. More like Rico... not Suave.
294
00:11:32,664 --> 00:11:34,466
He said like a drunk jealous bitch.
295
00:11:34,499 --> 00:11:36,869
I'm not drunk! Wait, I am drunk.
296
00:11:36,903 --> 00:11:39,004
Cyril, you need any last-minute pointers?
297
00:11:39,038 --> 00:11:41,240
Ha! From you?
298
00:11:41,273 --> 00:11:43,142
The quarry may change but never the hunt!
299
00:11:43,174 --> 00:11:44,543
Hm, let's see.
300
00:11:44,576 --> 00:11:47,080
Oh, here's one. When
do I start negging her?
301
00:11:47,113 --> 00:11:51,184
"Negging"? Jesus Christ,
what grade are you in?
302
00:11:51,216 --> 00:11:55,254
Why don't you try putting some
Spanish Fly in her Brass Monkey?
303
00:11:55,288 --> 00:11:57,823
I think you mix it with mole's blood.
304
00:11:57,856 --> 00:12:00,632
What're you... Where the hell
would you get mole's blood?
305
00:12:00,642 --> 00:12:02,034
Why, you need some?
306
00:12:02,044 --> 00:12:05,264
I need you to get your
big, bushy Bob Ross-ian head
307
00:12:05,297 --> 00:12:07,833
out of your ass, because
we've got a bet to win!
308
00:12:07,866 --> 00:12:12,038
And also, Giuseppe, I'm pretty sure
this is actually germicide, so...
309
00:12:12,071 --> 00:12:13,105
- What?
- Damn it, Archer.
310
00:12:13,139 --> 00:12:14,882
Yeah, that's... not great.
311
00:12:14,892 --> 00:12:18,278
Although, silver lining... bet I could
eat a whole big bowl of germs right now.
312
00:12:19,778 --> 00:12:22,181
Okay, let's go seduce this broad.
313
00:12:22,214 --> 00:12:25,218
Okay, let's go put some stank on it.
314
00:12:25,250 --> 00:12:28,220
Yes, I suppose this is as attractive
315
00:12:28,254 --> 00:12:29,855
as these two are ever going to be.
316
00:12:29,889 --> 00:12:32,536
- Unless we can find some mole's blood.
- No.
317
00:12:32,546 --> 00:12:33,927
- I have some.
- No!
318
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,461
Oh, wait. This is vole's blood.
319
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:39,236
I swear to God, you people.
320
00:12:39,246 --> 00:12:40,648
Taxi!
321
00:12:42,435 --> 00:12:45,705
Man, I don't feel so great.
322
00:12:45,738 --> 00:12:48,107
Wonder if that's got anything to do
323
00:12:48,139 --> 00:12:50,016
with all that germicide you drank.
324
00:12:50,026 --> 00:12:52,544
Honestly, even if it had been Curaçao,
325
00:12:52,577 --> 00:12:54,579
I bet I'd still be a little oogy.
326
00:12:54,613 --> 00:12:56,549
No shit, you killed all your good flora.
327
00:12:56,581 --> 00:12:58,455
Hey, Spirou, where's the main bar?
328
00:12:58,465 --> 00:13:01,902
- Through the lobby to the left, sir.
- Thanks. Cyril, tip the young man.
329
00:13:01,912 --> 00:13:03,489
Oh, uh...
330
00:13:03,912 --> 00:13:06,960
Darn. I must've left my
wallet in my other clothes.
331
00:13:06,993 --> 00:13:08,728
- Uh...
- Typical.
332
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:10,262
Here you go.
333
00:13:10,568 --> 00:13:13,499
Here you go, ladies. Hotel Swindon.
334
00:13:13,532 --> 00:13:15,969
Well, it's about time. Pay the man, Lana.
335
00:13:16,001 --> 00:13:19,471
Uh, I don't... uh, Pam?
I'll get the next one.
336
00:13:19,504 --> 00:13:21,807
Yeah, me too. Pony up, neckbone.
337
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:25,159
Yoo-hoo, bellboy, which
way is the Sunset Lounge?
338
00:13:25,169 --> 00:13:26,707
Fair's 18.50, Miss.
339
00:13:26,717 --> 00:13:31,444
Okay, so, do you have change for 10...
let me finish... drams of vole's blood?
340
00:13:37,574 --> 00:13:39,617
Did he say to the right or to the left?
341
00:13:39,627 --> 00:13:40,927
- I thought he said right.
- He said to the left.
342
00:13:40,937 --> 00:13:44,333
- Thanks, Lois and Clark.
- It's Lewis and... oh.
343
00:13:44,343 --> 00:13:47,152
- See what I did there?
- What are you doing here?
344
00:13:48,654 --> 00:13:51,924
I'm gonna assume it's some
sort of costume birthday party?
345
00:13:51,934 --> 00:13:53,245
It's not my birthday!
346
00:13:53,255 --> 00:13:56,395
Then why's Krieger dressed up
like Evil Nazi Bob Ross Knievel?
347
00:13:56,428 --> 00:13:58,264
Why are you dressed like a prostitute?
348
00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:01,420
- It's for work!
- Wait, what are you all doing here?
349
00:14:01,430 --> 00:14:03,399
- Lunch?
- It's 5:30.
350
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:06,048
- Dunch?
- Mother, what the hell is going on?
351
00:14:06,058 --> 00:14:07,659
I could ask you the same thing.
352
00:14:07,692 --> 00:14:09,160
- Oh, my God.
- What's he doing here?
353
00:14:09,193 --> 00:14:11,007
- Mr. Zissner?
- What's the deal here, Figgis?
354
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,864
Wait, you two know each other?
355
00:14:12,874 --> 00:14:14,666
Uh, well, um...
356
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,102
- Donny?
- Babe.
357
00:14:16,135 --> 00:14:17,386
- Wait.
- Uh, what? - What the...
358
00:14:17,396 --> 00:14:18,642
Why aren't you in the bar?
359
00:14:18,652 --> 00:14:20,982
I heard all this commotion out here.
360
00:14:20,992 --> 00:14:22,966
Why aren't you in the Sunset Lounge?
361
00:14:22,976 --> 00:14:27,047
Okay, obviously there's been some
sort of misunderstanding here, so...
362
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,283
- Wait a minute.
- I think the best thing at this point
363
00:14:29,316 --> 00:14:31,351
is for everybody to...
364
00:14:31,385 --> 00:14:34,321
- un-clump.
- Did he hire you to bang her?
365
00:14:34,354 --> 00:14:35,723
- Uh...
- Hey, no!
366
00:14:35,755 --> 00:14:37,790
Before you answer that, remember you signed
367
00:14:37,823 --> 00:14:40,964
an extremely punitive
non-disclosure agreement.
368
00:14:40,974 --> 00:14:43,704
Yes. And also tape it.
369
00:14:43,714 --> 00:14:45,899
- Goddamn it!
- Shut up.
370
00:14:45,933 --> 00:14:47,500
And you were just going to do it?
371
00:14:47,534 --> 00:14:49,403
Not me. Cyril or Krieger.
372
00:14:49,436 --> 00:14:51,237
Ah! As if.
373
00:14:51,247 --> 00:14:54,117
- I mean, maybe blondie here.
- As if.
374
00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:56,467
Wait, but she hired us to seduce him.
375
00:14:56,477 --> 00:14:58,697
- And tape it.
- Shut up!
376
00:14:58,707 --> 00:15:00,717
Why would anyone do such a thing?
377
00:15:00,727 --> 00:15:03,017
It's your basic cuckold fetish porn.
378
00:15:03,049 --> 00:15:04,702
How is that basic?
379
00:15:04,712 --> 00:15:06,987
In fact, I bet they do these
hookups in the same hotel
380
00:15:07,019 --> 00:15:08,889
at the same time so they
know the other one's doing it.
381
00:15:08,922 --> 00:15:10,324
Stop talking!
382
00:15:10,356 --> 00:15:12,058
And they each go upstairs with whoever,
383
00:15:12,091 --> 00:15:13,660
make a tape, and then go home
384
00:15:13,693 --> 00:15:15,387
and watch them together.
385
00:15:15,397 --> 00:15:17,875
Goddamn, I wish I was married!
386
00:15:17,885 --> 00:15:20,701
You are all so frickin' sued!
387
00:15:20,734 --> 00:15:23,170
Shut up. And you were just gonna do it?
388
00:15:23,202 --> 00:15:25,360
- Not me!
- Wha... Mother?
389
00:15:25,370 --> 00:15:28,075
No, you idiot! One of those two.
390
00:15:28,107 --> 00:15:29,342
Who?
391
00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:31,010
Scarrah Fawcett and Baby Huey?
392
00:15:31,043 --> 00:15:32,545
Hey!
Whoa-whoa-whoa...
393
00:15:32,578 --> 00:15:33,880
Uh-uh.
394
00:15:33,913 --> 00:15:35,548
Bitch, you better 'pologize!
395
00:15:35,582 --> 00:15:37,952
Or what?
396
00:15:37,985 --> 00:15:39,253
Or this!
397
00:15:46,592 --> 00:15:47,627
Aah!
398
00:15:48,995 --> 00:15:50,898
Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Sha! Sha!
399
00:15:55,501 --> 00:15:57,437
Szhee!
400
00:15:57,471 --> 00:15:59,405
Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
401
00:16:07,648 --> 00:16:10,985
Come on, Lurch. Let's see
what's in that belly of yours!
402
00:16:11,018 --> 00:16:13,253
Shoo! Shoo! Sha! Sha!
403
00:16:15,355 --> 00:16:17,259
Enter Sandman.
404
00:16:17,269 --> 00:16:18,625
My eyes!
405
00:16:18,659 --> 00:16:20,260
Ow!
406
00:16:20,293 --> 00:16:21,995
Ow...
407
00:16:22,029 --> 00:16:24,631
Damn it. What is this, a chair factory?
408
00:16:24,664 --> 00:16:27,166
Get everybody down here!
409
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,816
Baby! Baby, come on. We
gotta get out of here.
410
00:16:29,826 --> 00:16:32,011
- Okay, honey.
- Paparazzi. Paparazzi!
411
00:16:32,021 --> 00:16:34,475
- Aah! Damn!
- Shoo! Shoo! Sha! Sha!
412
00:16:40,319 --> 00:16:42,787
I gotta say,
413
00:16:42,797 --> 00:16:45,204
I think that went about
as well as it could have.
414
00:16:45,214 --> 00:16:46,353
Tell that to Carol!
415
00:16:46,385 --> 00:16:48,108
- Whoa, gross.
- Oh, God.
416
00:16:48,118 --> 00:16:49,923
Oh, this is vole's blood.
417
00:16:51,060 --> 00:16:52,993
- I hope.
- That's disgusting.
418
00:16:53,026 --> 00:16:55,462
Well, whom or whatever's blood it is,
419
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,633
I vote we go rinse it off with a mojito.
420
00:16:57,643 --> 00:16:59,666
Come on, we can still catch...
421
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:04,203
Uh... happy hour.
422
00:17:11,542 --> 00:17:15,432
Seriously, worst happy hour
ever. And I hate to do it,
423
00:17:15,442 --> 00:17:18,902
but I have to trash you
guys in my online review.
424
00:17:18,993 --> 00:17:22,487
Thanks. And also sorry, but I don't
feel like you've earned a tip, so...
425
00:17:22,521 --> 00:17:24,402
Will you shut up and come on!
426
00:17:24,412 --> 00:17:27,181
Wasn't six hours in this hell hole enough?
427
00:17:27,215 --> 00:17:30,452
That bail is paid, and now I
would like to go home, please!
428
00:17:30,485 --> 00:17:33,770
Okay! I'm not the one taking all
night to give me back my stuff!
429
00:17:33,780 --> 00:17:35,144
No, you're just the one
430
00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:37,226
who started the brawl
that got us all arrested.
431
00:17:37,258 --> 00:17:39,147
First of all, that brawl started
432
00:17:39,157 --> 00:17:40,803
when Carol messed up the messages.
433
00:17:40,813 --> 00:17:42,311
No, I did not.
434
00:17:42,321 --> 00:17:44,299
Zissner, meeting, office, 10:00?
435
00:17:44,333 --> 00:17:46,584
What, were you being intentionally vague?
436
00:17:46,594 --> 00:17:48,703
- Eh, duh.
- What?
437
00:17:48,737 --> 00:17:50,306
I wanted to see what would happen.
438
00:17:50,338 --> 00:17:52,206
- Oh, goddamn.
- Really?
439
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,075
Well, excellent work.
440
00:17:54,109 --> 00:17:56,145
You just ruined our entrée
441
00:17:56,178 --> 00:17:58,948
into the world of high-priced
Hollywood divorces!
442
00:17:58,980 --> 00:18:01,382
Which, come on, we're better than that.
443
00:18:01,415 --> 00:18:05,086
Shooooo, wahhhhh...
444
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,389
- Are we?
- I am.
445
00:18:07,421 --> 00:18:10,112
I drank a whole big thing of germicide.
446
00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:11,599
- Shooo...
- What?
447
00:18:11,609 --> 00:18:13,420
That would've killed a normal man.
448
00:18:13,430 --> 00:18:17,131
Shooo,
whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo...
449
00:18:19,295 --> 00:18:23,602
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
449
00:18:24,305 --> 00:19:24,922
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