1 00:00:01,508 --> 00:00:03,878 And so, to reiterate... 2 00:00:03,912 --> 00:00:06,046 Due to your various relationships with the victim, 3 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,783 Ellis Crane, both professional and personal... 4 00:00:08,815 --> 00:00:12,653 You are all persons of interest in an active homicide investigation. 5 00:00:14,589 --> 00:00:16,458 Wait. Can't you eliminate us by testing our hands 6 00:00:16,491 --> 00:00:19,561 - for gunshot residue? Hmm? - Wha... Y-Yes! 7 00:00:19,594 --> 00:00:20,320 Yes, we can. 8 00:00:20,345 --> 00:00:22,497 And that's exactly what we're gonna do, smart guy. 9 00:00:22,530 --> 00:00:24,299 - So... - Think you're so goddamn smart. 10 00:00:24,332 --> 00:00:27,836 So we're gonna need everybody to come down to the station, 11 00:00:27,869 --> 00:00:31,406 so, uh, we can test your hands for gunshot residue! 12 00:00:31,439 --> 00:00:34,808 Yeah, hi. Alan Shapiro, attorney for Veronica Deane? 13 00:00:34,842 --> 00:00:36,912 - God, she is so great! - Huge fan. Huge! 14 00:00:36,945 --> 00:00:38,680 - Ohhh! - Yeah. Super. 15 00:00:38,713 --> 00:00:41,849 But my client will not be frog-marched into a police station 16 00:00:41,882 --> 00:00:44,418 like a common criminal before God knows how many cameras, 17 00:00:44,452 --> 00:00:47,087 every one of which was tipped off by the LAPD! 18 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,589 I-I... Well, no. No. 19 00:00:48,623 --> 00:00:51,326 - We wouldn't want that. - She will, however... 20 00:00:51,358 --> 00:00:54,495 consent to the test being conducted at my office. 21 00:00:54,528 --> 00:00:56,263 Thank you. That's very accommodating. 22 00:00:56,296 --> 00:00:58,265 Get a load of Obi-Wan-Attorney. 23 00:00:58,298 --> 00:00:59,867 So, should we head there now, or... 24 00:00:59,900 --> 00:01:02,336 No, let's say tomorrow. Elevenish? 25 00:01:02,370 --> 00:01:04,272 - Elevenish it is! - Looking forward to it. 26 00:01:04,304 --> 00:01:06,107 - Are you kidding me? - How is that fair? 27 00:01:06,140 --> 00:01:08,843 - Why does she get special treatment? - Because she is special. 28 00:01:08,876 --> 00:01:12,280 - She's... a movie star! - Yeah. Because she's special. 29 00:01:12,313 --> 00:01:15,016 Well, I don't really want to go down to the police station either, so... 30 00:01:15,048 --> 00:01:17,618 Goddamn it! You will comply! 31 00:01:17,652 --> 00:01:20,287 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey hey... It's all good, buddy! 32 00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:22,456 She's comin' down to the station. 33 00:01:22,489 --> 00:01:24,292 - Comin' down to the station, right? - Uh, yup. 34 00:01:24,325 --> 00:01:26,795 See? She's comin' down to the station. 35 00:01:26,828 --> 00:01:29,798 Yeah! 'Cause I remember you, Lana Kane. 36 00:01:29,831 --> 00:01:31,633 You're still on probation for the gun charge and the stalking. 37 00:01:31,665 --> 00:01:33,968 - It was a hamentashen! - Yeah. 38 00:01:34,001 --> 00:01:35,970 Well, you're not gonna "yummy Jewish cookies" your way out of this one. 39 00:01:36,004 --> 00:01:38,239 Ah! I couldn't have murdered Ellis. 40 00:01:38,271 --> 00:01:41,141 I was in Veronica's dressing room ripping Archer like a rented mule! 41 00:01:41,174 --> 00:01:43,911 Oh, man, you never rent a mule. 42 00:01:43,944 --> 00:01:45,913 - So wait a second... - You lease that surly bastard. 43 00:01:45,947 --> 00:01:47,716 - Shut up! So wait... - Shut up! 44 00:01:47,748 --> 00:01:51,085 So, your alibi is that you were busy committing felony assault. 45 00:01:51,119 --> 00:01:52,920 - Yes! - She's a real menace. 46 00:01:52,954 --> 00:01:54,823 Shut up, and they all saw me. 47 00:01:54,855 --> 00:01:56,557 - I didn't. - What? 48 00:01:56,591 --> 00:01:58,492 Yes, you did! I was right there! 49 00:01:58,526 --> 00:01:59,828 - Nope. - You little... 50 00:01:59,860 --> 00:02:01,829 - Shapiro! You saw me! - Did I? 51 00:02:01,863 --> 00:02:03,431 - What? - Because what I don't see... 52 00:02:03,464 --> 00:02:05,667 is how that helps my client, Veronica Deane. 53 00:02:05,699 --> 00:02:06,900 - - Huge fan. - So great. 54 00:02:06,933 --> 00:02:09,069 - Archer... - Yes, Lana? 55 00:02:09,103 --> 00:02:11,006 Would you care to tell the detectives... 56 00:02:11,038 --> 00:02:12,740 that I couldn't have killed Ellis... 57 00:02:12,774 --> 00:02:14,842 because I was busy beating your ass? 58 00:02:14,876 --> 00:02:16,911 I would love to. 59 00:02:16,943 --> 00:02:19,079 - There. See? - Unfortunately... 60 00:02:19,113 --> 00:02:19,939 Goddamn it! 61 00:02:19,964 --> 00:02:22,417 I must have gotten a bonk on the noggin, 62 00:02:22,449 --> 00:02:25,286 - because I can't remember anything! - Ohahhh! 63 00:02:25,318 --> 00:02:27,521 So, Miss Kane, you can ride with me... 64 00:02:27,555 --> 00:02:29,024 I'll call a van for the rest of you. 65 00:02:29,056 --> 00:02:31,358 And remain with you in a supervisory capacity. 66 00:02:31,391 --> 00:02:36,397 - Because. Whatever you do... - You are not to wash your hands! 67 00:02:40,568 --> 00:02:42,838 Uhmm... 68 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:50,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 69 00:03:14,939 --> 00:03:17,541 - sync and corrections by Caio - - www.addic7ed.com - 70 00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:23,271 Yeah, so listen. The whole thing about... 71 00:03:23,298 --> 00:03:25,366 not washing our hands... 72 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,537 But, darling, they were so terribly goopy from our love-making! 73 00:03:28,570 --> 00:03:30,371 Which was so wonderful, darling. 74 00:03:30,405 --> 00:03:32,775 Wasn't it just... so... wonderful. 75 00:03:32,808 --> 00:03:35,043 Well, yeah. I mean, it almost always is, 76 00:03:35,077 --> 00:03:37,145 both wonderful and goopy, but... 77 00:03:37,179 --> 00:03:40,315 But, darling, surely you don't think that I could have murdered Ellis? 78 00:03:40,347 --> 00:03:44,219 - No! I mean... you know... - After all, he was killed at 2:14, 79 00:03:44,251 --> 00:03:47,555 and I was in here with you, until almost the very stroke of 3:00. 80 00:03:47,589 --> 00:03:49,892 Which you were extremely clear about. 81 00:03:49,924 --> 00:03:51,559 And repeatedly, come to think of it. 82 00:03:51,592 --> 00:03:54,295 - But there's no clock in here, so... - What do you think... 83 00:03:54,328 --> 00:03:56,165 about... Mexico? 84 00:03:56,198 --> 00:03:58,400 Like, their extradition treaty, or... 85 00:03:58,432 --> 00:04:00,802 No, you goose. As a romantic getaway! 86 00:04:00,835 --> 00:04:04,172 Oh. Well, then, theoretically, me gusto mucho. 87 00:04:04,205 --> 00:04:05,148 But... 88 00:04:05,173 --> 00:04:07,975 I have a fabulous bungalow in Las Caletas. 89 00:04:08,008 --> 00:04:10,578 - Just down the beach from John Huston. - Really? 90 00:04:10,612 --> 00:04:12,580 Hmm. You could hit his house with a coconut. 91 00:04:12,614 --> 00:04:14,015 Which I've always wanted to do. 92 00:04:14,049 --> 00:04:15,751 We could be there in four hours. 93 00:04:15,783 --> 00:04:19,754 Is... But is now a great time, or even a not very bad time? 94 00:04:19,787 --> 00:04:21,823 What with the whole murder investigation... 95 00:04:21,857 --> 00:04:23,424 Oh, Alan can handle that. 96 00:04:23,458 --> 00:04:24,993 But until all the fuss dies down, 97 00:04:25,025 --> 00:04:26,929 we could swim in the ocean... 98 00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:30,765 swim in tequila, dance naked on the beach by firelight... 99 00:04:30,799 --> 00:04:33,001 Prank John Huston with some coconuts... 100 00:04:33,033 --> 00:04:36,604 Besides, it looks like that enormous Lana Kane person is the real killer. 101 00:04:36,638 --> 00:04:39,041 What? No, I-I shouldn't have joked about that. 102 00:04:39,073 --> 00:04:41,710 - I'll tell the cops she... - She certainly had a motive. 103 00:04:41,742 --> 00:04:44,178 I mean, my God, the victim's jealous lover? 104 00:04:44,212 --> 00:04:47,015 Yeah, hey, uh, you know what? My hands are pretty goopy, too. 105 00:04:47,047 --> 00:04:49,550 I'm just gonna pop out, give 'em a quick rinse, and... 106 00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:51,386 Well, just use the sink here, silly. 107 00:04:51,419 --> 00:04:54,790 Uh, no. I have diarrhea, so... 108 00:04:54,823 --> 00:04:57,793 Miss Deane? I have kind of a fanboy request. 109 00:04:57,826 --> 00:05:00,195 And you can't let those fans down! 110 00:05:00,227 --> 00:05:03,131 - See, I... Oh. - Yeah. 111 00:05:03,165 --> 00:05:05,633 - I... - I have diarrhea. 112 00:05:05,667 --> 00:05:08,070 - You better not wash those hands! - I won't! 113 00:05:08,102 --> 00:05:10,472 - I'd like your word, please! - You have it! 114 00:05:10,504 --> 00:05:12,140 Great police work. 115 00:05:12,174 --> 00:05:15,977 Seriously? What is it with everybody washing their hands? 116 00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,647 Exactly! I'm not going to be the only chump 117 00:05:18,679 --> 00:05:21,316 walking into that police station with unwashed hands! 118 00:05:21,349 --> 00:05:23,218 Oh, man! 119 00:05:23,251 --> 00:05:26,155 We gotta wash our hands? 120 00:05:26,188 --> 00:05:28,157 What? No! They said, "Don't wash them." 121 00:05:28,189 --> 00:05:30,091 Wait, what are we all washing? 122 00:05:30,124 --> 00:05:32,326 Goddamn it, wash everything! 123 00:05:32,359 --> 00:05:34,562 Geez! Make up your mind, America! 124 00:05:34,595 --> 00:05:36,931 And I need to talk to you. Now. 125 00:05:36,965 --> 00:05:39,167 All right, Grabney Coleman! What? 126 00:05:39,201 --> 00:05:41,102 It's about the murder. 127 00:05:41,136 --> 00:05:44,273 Oh, Sterling, I know exactly what you're going to say. 128 00:05:44,306 --> 00:05:46,909 - You do? - And I know exactly what to do. 129 00:05:46,941 --> 00:05:48,843 - You do. - Sterling, it's me. 130 00:05:48,876 --> 00:05:51,679 Of course I do, just like I knew you were headed for trouble 131 00:05:51,713 --> 00:05:54,850 the minute you laid your eyes on that washed-up old crone. 132 00:05:54,883 --> 00:05:57,019 Oh, for... She's like 50! 133 00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:59,287 Also, maybe, a little a lot crazy. 134 00:05:59,321 --> 00:06:02,924 - Oh, really? An actress? - Who's crazy? 135 00:06:02,958 --> 00:06:04,859 Nobody. Get out of here, Krieger! 136 00:06:04,893 --> 00:06:07,796 - With your goddamn human breast milk. - Okay! Geez! 137 00:06:07,828 --> 00:06:09,364 And it's not human! 138 00:06:09,397 --> 00:06:11,700 I don't know if that's better or worse. 139 00:06:11,732 --> 00:06:14,268 Anyway, now I'm worried the cops might actually think Lana did it, so... 140 00:06:14,302 --> 00:06:15,636 Mexico. 141 00:06:15,669 --> 00:06:17,872 Wait? Yeah. That's what she said. 142 00:06:17,905 --> 00:06:21,376 Well, it's obvious. It's basically right next door, for God's sake. 143 00:06:21,408 --> 00:06:24,212 As if Los Angeles needed another minus. 144 00:06:24,246 --> 00:06:26,982 Come... I don't know, mother. Fleeing to Mexico? 145 00:06:27,015 --> 00:06:28,884 It just kinda screams, "I'm guilty." 146 00:06:28,917 --> 00:06:33,789 So, no one is technically fleeing, because no one is under arrest. 147 00:06:33,821 --> 00:06:34,631 Yet. 148 00:06:34,656 --> 00:06:37,059 So you're saying now would be the best time to go? If... 149 00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:39,294 If there could ever be a "best time" 150 00:06:39,326 --> 00:06:42,964 to have your picture taken with a donkey painted to look like a zebra. 151 00:06:42,998 --> 00:06:45,467 Hmm, pretty sure those are real zebras. 152 00:06:45,499 --> 00:06:47,068 - Typical. - Who's a zebra? 153 00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:49,571 Goddamn it, Krieger. I told you to... Wait. 154 00:06:49,604 --> 00:06:51,740 - How did you change so fast? - Oh! Um... 155 00:06:51,773 --> 00:06:55,744 Don't engage him! You need to be on the first mode of transport to Mexico. 156 00:06:55,777 --> 00:06:58,479 Don't even bother packing, just grab a fake passport 157 00:06:58,513 --> 00:07:00,415 at the office and go... 158 00:07:00,448 --> 00:07:03,085 But first, wash your gunpowdery hands. 159 00:07:03,117 --> 00:07:04,852 My... Wait. You don't think I did it? 160 00:07:04,886 --> 00:07:07,422 - Wh... Who else? - Veronica! 161 00:07:07,455 --> 00:07:09,258 - Who's Veronica? - Jesus! - What the... 162 00:07:09,290 --> 00:07:11,192 Why are your frickin' cyborgs here? 163 00:07:11,225 --> 00:07:14,528 Because we're getting 30 bucks a day as extras! Each! 164 00:07:14,561 --> 00:07:16,264 - Who is? - Well, get the hell out of here. 165 00:07:16,297 --> 00:07:18,833 - All of you! - No! Now wait a minute. 166 00:07:18,866 --> 00:07:20,602 This could actually help you! 167 00:07:20,635 --> 00:07:23,372 To do what? Open an Adolf E. Cheese? 168 00:07:23,405 --> 00:07:26,775 Krieger, you have one of these god-awful monstrosities 169 00:07:26,807 --> 00:07:29,110 - for each of us? - No! 170 00:07:29,143 --> 00:07:32,780 - Maybe. Yes. - There you go! You go to Mexico, 171 00:07:32,814 --> 00:07:34,883 your robo-doppelganger takes the fall, 172 00:07:34,915 --> 00:07:37,451 you come back after he gets the chair. 173 00:07:37,484 --> 00:07:40,021 - Ohh... - First of all, I didn't do it! 174 00:07:40,054 --> 00:07:42,290 - I doesn't matter! - I feel like it does! 175 00:07:42,323 --> 00:07:45,193 - It's not always about you! - Wha... And second of all, 176 00:07:45,225 --> 00:07:47,696 there's no way one of these damn "inepticons" 177 00:07:47,729 --> 00:07:49,631 could pass the fricking Turing test! 178 00:07:50,532 --> 00:07:53,035 Oh, they can totally pass the Turing test. 179 00:07:53,068 --> 00:07:55,637 What is that? A thing from Star Wars? 180 00:07:55,669 --> 00:07:59,040 No, it's a test to see if a machine's artificial intelligence 181 00:07:59,073 --> 00:08:01,876 can convince a human that the machine is also human. 182 00:08:01,910 --> 00:08:05,580 Which they totally can. Go ahead. Ask them anything about anything. 183 00:08:05,613 --> 00:08:08,083 Ugh. Okay, uh, let's see. 184 00:08:08,115 --> 00:08:10,318 What is love? 185 00:08:10,351 --> 00:08:13,487 Batubatu... battery. 186 00:08:13,521 --> 00:08:15,324 Wh-wh-wh-wha... 187 00:08:19,027 --> 00:08:22,598 Now I have to wash my hands again. 188 00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:30,385 Goddamn it, this is classic Archer! 189 00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:32,546 - Oh, yeah? - He knows I didn't kill Ellis! 190 00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:34,882 But he's so goddamn immature, he thinks it's funny 191 00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:38,285 to watch the mother of his child hauled off to jail. 192 00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:40,654 Which, by the way, is a total waste of time, 193 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:43,390 because you are not gonna find any gunshot residue 194 00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,992 - on my hands. - Uh, you never know. 195 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,662 No, actually, I do know, because... I'm sorry... 196 00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,298 - And that means what? - What? 197 00:08:50,331 --> 00:08:53,401 - You never know... - Uh, figure of speech? 198 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,502 Oh, really? Because from where I'm sitting, 199 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,571 which by the way is in a black woman's skin, 200 00:08:57,605 --> 00:08:59,740 in the back of a prowler with no door handles 201 00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:02,310 driven by a white cop, it sounds like the LAPD 202 00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:03,910 is gonna frame me for murder. 203 00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:06,981 Like I said, "You never know!" 204 00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:09,182 Oh, damn it! 205 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,985 No-o-o! 206 00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:14,021 You maniac! You blew him up! 207 00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:19,092 Aw, damn you! Goddamn you all to hell! 208 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,995 Oh, give it a rest. 209 00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:24,599 That'll do, Milkly, that'll do. 210 00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:26,833 - And here. Hold this. - Wait. What? No. 211 00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:29,269 - I don't want to... - Hold it! Hold it right there! 212 00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:31,606 Man down! Man down! Man down! 213 00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,774 Man? It's basically an appliance. 214 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,776 What the hell happened here? 215 00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:37,444 - What's happening? - Don't y'all know? 216 00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:39,947 That is what I'm trying to find... Damn it, woman! 217 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:42,115 I thought I told you not to wash your hands! 218 00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,951 Yeah, I'm almost positive you did. 219 00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:46,620 Okay. Nobody move. Nobody do anything. 220 00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:49,689 In fact, everybody put your hands in your damn pockets! 221 00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:51,692 All right, you heard the man. 222 00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:53,360 - Let's go. - Whatever. - Okay, okay. 223 00:09:53,394 --> 00:09:55,363 Ugh. 224 00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:58,064 Hey. Yeah, I need you to come back to the studio real quick. 225 00:09:58,097 --> 00:10:01,301 No, the van's not here, but it looks like we've got another homicide... 226 00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:04,739 Uh, just in the very brief time since you left, yes. 227 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:06,807 What are ya, shootin' 'em yourself? 228 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,476 How... Uh... Okay. Shut up. I'm almost at the station, 229 00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:11,312 just wait for the van, dummy. 230 00:10:11,345 --> 00:10:13,814 Well, sweetheart, today just might be your lucky day. 231 00:10:13,846 --> 00:10:16,082 What? You're gonna park in an alley, and let me go 232 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,818 - if I give you a blow job? - Mmmm... no. 233 00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:21,988 They made us quit doing that. There was a whole big thing about it. 234 00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:24,825 - Then why am I suddenly so lucky? - Because it looks like... 235 00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:27,093 - maybe the killer struck again. - Ha! 236 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,763 Told you! Dumbass idiot cops! 237 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,999 So, how's it feel to be such an idiot? 238 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:35,235 Mm, I guess... almost like there's a vast number of things 239 00:10:35,269 --> 00:10:38,505 that can happen to you between now and when you're released 240 00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:41,174 from police custody, and almost none of them are good? 241 00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:44,178 Um. Point. Taken. 242 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:46,681 Let's go, folks. Nothing to see here. 243 00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:50,116 - What on earth is going on? - Because whatever it is, my client had 244 00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,019 absolutely nothing to do with it! 245 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:54,021 Come on, beat it! 23 skidoo! 246 00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:57,524 Hey! You need to get your old, tiny, fake policeman ass 247 00:10:57,557 --> 00:11:00,794 out of my space! I'm trying to do real policeman shit! 248 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,029 Then arrest her! For murder! 249 00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:04,865 You can't murder a machine! 250 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:07,134 Yeah, that's like the first law of robotics. 251 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,202 No, it's the exact opposite of that! 252 00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:12,807 Well, excuse me, Dr. Han Fastolfe. 253 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,475 - Too obscure? - I mean... 254 00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,043 The point is, legally speaking, 255 00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:18,211 a murder victim has to be a human being. 256 00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:21,215 - That is true. - Besides, it's your word against mine. 257 00:11:21,248 --> 00:11:23,150 No, it isn't! Because all my K-bots 258 00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:25,152 have a digital recorder in their CPU. 259 00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:27,487 You can't record me without my permission! 260 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:31,991 That is also true. California is a two-party consent state, so... 261 00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:34,728 Actually, in California, you can record a conversation 262 00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:36,731 without the other party's consent, if you believe 263 00:11:36,764 --> 00:11:39,066 - it will collect evidence of a crime. - Aha! 264 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,402 But you didn't know a crime was going to occur 265 00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:42,902 when you started recording! 266 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:46,907 Aha! But also, isn't the question moot? 267 00:11:46,939 --> 00:11:51,077 Because that dude's CPU's... totally dickholed. 268 00:11:51,110 --> 00:11:54,314 Aha! But his CPU is working perfectly! 269 00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:57,918 - And he witnessed everything! Copley? - Yep, yep, yep! 270 00:11:57,951 --> 00:12:01,322 Please rewind to Milkly's heinous murder and play it back for us. 271 00:12:01,355 --> 00:12:03,591 - All righty... - None of this is admissible! 272 00:12:03,624 --> 00:12:05,426 And more importantly, they're robots. 273 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,260 Accessing digit... al... 274 00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:11,365 Ba-Ba-Ba-Batter-r-ry l-l-l-low. 275 00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:16,537 - Goddamn it! - No-ho! 276 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:22,942 Aw, thank God. Okay. Gunshot residue testing and the truth... 277 00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,611 shall set you free! 278 00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:26,947 Or not. But get in that van! 279 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:29,350 - With the exception of my client! - Of course. 280 00:12:29,383 --> 00:12:31,952 Absolutely. And thank you for the autograph. 281 00:12:31,985 --> 00:12:35,055 That was so great, and you're just... so great! 282 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:38,024 And this is all a huge waste of time. 283 00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:40,961 Well, yes! Because it's so totally obvious 284 00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,696 that Lana Kane murdered Ellis. 285 00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:43,964 Uh, hang on. Actually... 286 00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:46,132 As a matter of fact, Mr. Shapiro will be 287 00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:48,701 presenting you evidence of Miss Kane's guilt tomorrow morning. 288 00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,538 - He what? - Do what? - I what? 289 00:12:50,571 --> 00:12:53,807 - Isn't that what you told me? - Uh, yes? 290 00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:56,543 So, Detective. See you at elevenish? 291 00:12:56,577 --> 00:12:58,479 Oh, yes. Yes. 292 00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:01,981 So great. The rest of you, asses in the van! 293 00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:04,485 - You'd better do something. - Let's go! Come on! 294 00:13:04,518 --> 00:13:07,053 - Get in there! - But, Veronica, what about Mexico? 295 00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:08,822 We may not need to go, after all. 296 00:13:08,856 --> 00:13:11,057 But the coconuts. The naked tequila. 297 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:14,260 - Can't we at least talk about it? - All right, darling. Calm down. 298 00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:16,396 Come to my house tonight, and we'll talk. 299 00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:18,665 Yo! Faceman! In the van! Now! 300 00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:21,101 Okay. There's a nice way to do that. 301 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,603 See ya tonight. 302 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:26,005 - Okay, is everybody in? - Yes! 303 00:13:26,038 --> 00:13:27,508 Okay, count off! 304 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:28,675 One... 305 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,944 Goddamn it. Would you go? 306 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,846 But, Veronica, what evidence? 307 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,682 Well, my darling Alan... 308 00:13:34,715 --> 00:13:37,351 I have a teensy-tiny favor to ask of you. 309 00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:40,354 ♪ Uh, 99 bottles of beer on the... Ow! ♪ 310 00:13:40,386 --> 00:13:41,688 Je-sus! 311 00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:43,023 Thank you. 312 00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:44,225 My pleasure. 313 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,096 Whoa-oa-oa! 314 00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,931 Keep it down back there! 315 00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:53,366 I swear, if I have to pull this van over... 316 00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:57,538 Whoa, that kinda hurt. 317 00:13:57,571 --> 00:13:59,706 Is L.A. making me soft? 318 00:13:59,740 --> 00:14:01,875 Or... softly awesome. 319 00:14:01,908 --> 00:14:03,744 Like a haiku... 320 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,891 Oh... 321 00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:20,727 Ho-ly shit. 322 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,997 Right? Come here. What are we doing? 323 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,565 Are we doing this? 324 00:14:25,599 --> 00:14:27,468 We're hugging it out! 325 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:30,069 Hey. Are you up for a dangerous mission? 326 00:14:30,102 --> 00:14:33,841 Am I? There is literally no question I ever wanted to hear... 327 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,976 - more than that! - Okay, cool. 328 00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:39,346 Have you ever had bourbon? 329 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:42,081 Have I... Ha! I wish to amend 330 00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:43,154 my previous statement. 331 00:14:43,179 --> 00:14:45,753 Okay, come on. I'll brief you while we get ready. 332 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,755 Nghung. Wait. 333 00:14:47,788 --> 00:14:50,356 Hang on a sec. 334 00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,359 Oh! 335 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,660 Damn it, Archer! 336 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:56,262 Me and you... is this not the best? 337 00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:59,300 It's got spinoff written all over it. 338 00:15:04,843 --> 00:15:07,568 Gillette! Residue test. Let's go. 339 00:15:07,593 --> 00:15:09,444 Excuse me. 340 00:15:09,585 --> 00:15:12,201 Do you have any idea how long this is going to take? 341 00:15:12,226 --> 00:15:13,627 Yes. 342 00:15:13,661 --> 00:15:15,931 At this rate, we'll be here all night. 343 00:15:15,964 --> 00:15:19,600 Or forever, once Veronica Deane fakes her whatever bullshit evidence on me. 344 00:15:19,633 --> 00:15:22,870 Thanks to you and Archer, who lied to the cops with her. 345 00:15:22,903 --> 00:15:25,373 - Hope you're happy! - Uh, duh... Free cornrows. 346 00:15:25,407 --> 00:15:28,442 - Lana, Sterling feels awful about that. - Phht! 347 00:15:28,475 --> 00:15:30,544 Which is why he's out there right now, 348 00:15:30,577 --> 00:15:33,214 working on a plan to trap Veronica Deane 349 00:15:33,248 --> 00:15:34,782 so there's no need to worry. 350 00:15:34,816 --> 00:15:36,817 Are you sure? 351 00:15:36,850 --> 00:15:39,120 Yes! Trust me, it's a good plan. 352 00:15:39,153 --> 00:15:42,056 It just kind of seems a little more complicated than it needs to be. 353 00:15:42,090 --> 00:15:44,393 No, it isn't. Shut up. It'll work. 354 00:15:44,426 --> 00:15:47,295 Hmm. Also, why are we wearing tuxedos? 355 00:15:47,327 --> 00:15:50,131 Exactly. Okay. Let's do this! 356 00:15:50,165 --> 00:15:52,968 Oh, man. We're just like the Wonder Twins, right? 357 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,904 I would take the form of, uh, an eagle. What about you? 358 00:15:56,937 --> 00:15:59,648 I guess... I don't know. Ice stairs? 359 00:15:59,906 --> 00:16:02,008 Eh, Luigi! Piccolo aiuto, eh? 360 00:16:04,143 --> 00:16:06,846 Do you... like it around the rim? 361 00:16:06,879 --> 00:16:08,714 I be... I beg your pardon? 362 00:16:08,748 --> 00:16:11,450 Your margarita. Salt around the rim? 363 00:16:11,483 --> 00:16:14,220 Oh. Sorry. Yes. More than you know. 364 00:16:14,253 --> 00:16:16,022 Although, I have to say... 365 00:16:16,056 --> 00:16:19,026 I prefer my margaritas on the beach in Mexico. 366 00:16:19,059 --> 00:16:23,030 Mm, yes, of course! And we'll dance naked on the beach in Mexico... 367 00:16:23,062 --> 00:16:25,364 after... Oh, my! 368 00:16:25,397 --> 00:16:29,368 Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? 369 00:16:29,402 --> 00:16:31,738 Oh! Uh, both. Sorry. 370 00:16:31,771 --> 00:16:35,241 I'll just lay this right here, on this table. 371 00:16:35,275 --> 00:16:38,078 You were saying... Mexico? After... 372 00:16:38,111 --> 00:16:41,480 Well, after they formally charge Lana Kane with Ellis's murder. 373 00:16:41,514 --> 00:16:43,917 - And... you think they will. - Oh, I should think so. 374 00:16:43,950 --> 00:16:46,553 Once they find her enormous fingerprints on the gun. 375 00:16:46,585 --> 00:16:51,091 - And you think they will? - I... Archer, do you love me? 376 00:16:51,123 --> 00:16:53,993 Oh, darling. Don't you know I do? 377 00:16:54,027 --> 00:16:56,830 Well, then... in that case, 378 00:16:56,863 --> 00:16:59,166 let's just say I have my ways. 379 00:16:59,199 --> 00:17:03,570 Oh, sorry, Lana. You big sexy galoot. 380 00:17:03,603 --> 00:17:05,939 Shapiro, that little rat. 381 00:17:05,971 --> 00:17:07,840 Oh, it's not Alan's fault, darling. 382 00:17:07,873 --> 00:17:09,675 He's doing it because he loves me. 383 00:17:09,709 --> 00:17:11,344 And you live for that, don't you? 384 00:17:11,377 --> 00:17:13,079 Making men fall in love with you? 385 00:17:13,113 --> 00:17:15,449 Well, that's not a crime. Is it? 386 00:17:15,481 --> 00:17:19,018 No. But murder is. And I know you murdered Ellis Crane, 387 00:17:19,052 --> 00:17:20,354 and you're going down for it! 388 00:17:22,055 --> 00:17:23,590 I mean, really, darling. 389 00:17:23,623 --> 00:17:26,258 Just how stupid do you think I am? 390 00:17:26,292 --> 00:17:28,295 Hm. I guess slightly more than... 391 00:17:31,898 --> 00:17:34,068 Oh! 392 00:17:35,902 --> 00:17:37,904 Archer! 393 00:17:45,911 --> 00:17:50,049 Good night, sweet prince. 394 00:17:50,083 --> 00:17:54,054 "And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest." 395 00:17:54,086 --> 00:17:56,056 Jesus Christ! 396 00:17:56,088 --> 00:17:58,290 So, you're actually kind of nuts, huh? 397 00:17:58,324 --> 00:18:00,960 But... But how? 398 00:18:00,994 --> 00:18:03,330 Cyborg. I won't bore you with all the details, 399 00:18:03,363 --> 00:18:06,232 and science, which actually I don't even understand, so... 400 00:18:06,266 --> 00:18:09,002 So, all this time, you knew that I killed Ellis. 401 00:18:09,035 --> 00:18:12,072 Well, I suspected. All that "stroke of three" stuff? 402 00:18:12,104 --> 00:18:15,674 Then you were trying so hard to make Lana look guilty? 403 00:18:15,708 --> 00:18:18,311 Helped by Marlon Jerkins over here, just because 404 00:18:18,344 --> 00:18:20,313 I was mad at her... I mean, Jesus! 405 00:18:20,345 --> 00:18:23,482 - I'm such an idiot. - Oh, I wouldn't say that, darling. 406 00:18:23,516 --> 00:18:25,419 You caught me, didn't you? 407 00:18:25,451 --> 00:18:28,755 - Well, yeah, but... - You knew that I was secretly having 408 00:18:28,787 --> 00:18:30,656 all these shoots sabotaged, 409 00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:33,192 because Sandpiper-Crane was insuring the productions 410 00:18:33,226 --> 00:18:35,963 for ten times what they could ever make at the box office! 411 00:18:39,132 --> 00:18:42,768 - Yes. - Well, bravo, Archer. Bravo. 412 00:18:42,802 --> 00:18:46,440 Well, wait! So Longwater was all just a grubby little insurance scam? 413 00:18:46,472 --> 00:18:49,175 Little? It was a massive insurance scam, 414 00:18:49,209 --> 00:18:51,111 and also a re-insurance scam, 415 00:18:51,143 --> 00:18:53,447 not to mention a stock manipulation scam... 416 00:18:53,479 --> 00:18:56,450 with a little help from those odious twits at Stratton-Whitney! 417 00:18:56,482 --> 00:18:57,374 Wait, what? 418 00:18:57,399 --> 00:19:00,052 Their hedge fund shorted the insurance company's stock. 419 00:19:00,085 --> 00:19:03,355 - We made millions! - I mean, Jesus! 420 00:19:03,389 --> 00:19:06,126 And all this time, I thought it was just a sex tape! 421 00:19:06,159 --> 00:19:08,628 Oh. That actually was a sex tape, 422 00:19:08,661 --> 00:19:10,729 which I accidentally recorded onto a disk 423 00:19:10,763 --> 00:19:12,132 with some Longwater evidence. 424 00:19:12,164 --> 00:19:14,300 Oh, well, that's just stupid. 425 00:19:14,334 --> 00:19:16,469 As are you, Veronica, you just confessed. 426 00:19:16,502 --> 00:19:18,404 Yes, darling, but only to you. 427 00:19:18,438 --> 00:19:20,474 Doesn't do you a bit of good without a witness. 428 00:19:20,507 --> 00:19:23,142 - Uh, dahoy? - What, the robot? 429 00:19:23,175 --> 00:19:26,879 No, not a robot! Again, I don't understand all the science, but... 430 00:19:26,912 --> 00:19:29,815 Robots can't testify in court. 431 00:19:29,848 --> 00:19:32,318 Oh, I know that. But wait. Hang on... 432 00:19:32,352 --> 00:19:35,488 Plus, it didn't hear what I said, because... spoiler alert... 433 00:19:35,521 --> 00:19:38,157 - it's dead! - Wait, but... Goddamn it! 434 00:19:38,190 --> 00:19:40,994 So, no, Archer. I didn't confess. 435 00:19:41,027 --> 00:19:44,564 Not to a crime, anyway. But I'm afraid I do have to confess 436 00:19:44,596 --> 00:19:46,900 that... ohh... 437 00:19:46,932 --> 00:19:50,103 I really could have fallen for you. 438 00:19:50,135 --> 00:19:52,004 - Really? - My God, yes. 439 00:19:52,037 --> 00:19:54,106 But unfortunately... - 440 00:19:56,209 --> 00:19:58,077 Goddamn it. 441 00:19:58,111 --> 00:20:00,247 Goddamn it! 442 00:20:00,279 --> 00:20:03,916 Veronica! Veronica! 443 00:20:03,950 --> 00:20:05,117 Ow. Wha... 444 00:20:05,151 --> 00:20:07,354 Who puts a table there? 445 00:20:09,122 --> 00:20:11,925 Archer? Archer. 446 00:20:11,958 --> 00:20:15,362 - Archer! - That would be Ms. Archer to you. 447 00:20:15,394 --> 00:20:17,430 Oh! I'll make a note. 448 00:20:17,462 --> 00:20:20,200 You're free to go. Actually, you're all free to go. 449 00:20:20,232 --> 00:20:21,700 Really? 450 00:20:21,734 --> 00:20:23,370 But I haven't even been tested yet. 451 00:20:23,402 --> 00:20:26,706 You don't need to get tested, they have a suspect. 452 00:20:26,738 --> 00:20:28,374 - Veronica Deane. - Ha! 453 00:20:28,408 --> 00:20:30,310 Geezy Petes! 454 00:20:30,343 --> 00:20:33,712 This whole time, I thought Ellis Crane... was the one behind all this. 455 00:20:33,746 --> 00:20:37,383 Yeah, right up until he shot himself through both the wrist and the face. 456 00:20:37,417 --> 00:20:40,554 Anymahoo, apparently she shot another guy. 457 00:20:40,586 --> 00:20:43,056 Floating in her pool as we speak. 458 00:20:43,088 --> 00:20:44,890 Sterling! 459 00:20:47,427 --> 00:20:49,829 Well, what do you think? 460 00:20:49,862 --> 00:20:52,565 I think that in my next life, I'm gonna come back as a movie star. 461 00:20:52,598 --> 00:20:54,233 Yeah. Look out, gay porn. 462 00:20:54,267 --> 00:20:56,068 - Rimshot. - Yeah, that could be your name. 463 00:20:56,102 --> 00:20:57,903 So what, some movie star lives here? 464 00:20:57,937 --> 00:21:00,240 Yes. Veronica Deane. Don't you remember? 465 00:21:00,273 --> 00:21:02,309 She's a person of interest in the other murder we're working. 466 00:21:02,342 --> 00:21:04,411 - No shit. - Wait, what are you... 467 00:21:04,443 --> 00:21:06,579 You were just questioning her ten hours ago! 468 00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:08,681 He was her alibi. 469 00:21:08,715 --> 00:21:11,351 - You like her? - As an actress, or for this homicide? 470 00:21:11,383 --> 00:21:13,353 - Both. - Loved her in Shanghai Moon. 471 00:21:13,385 --> 00:21:15,521 - Oh, my God, that dress? - Right? 472 00:21:15,555 --> 00:21:17,923 But as for Tennessee Tuxedo here, I want to talk to her. 473 00:21:17,957 --> 00:21:20,360 See if she knows who tried to weight him down... 474 00:21:20,392 --> 00:21:23,596 with an ounce of lead. Found it on the ground, over there by the table. 475 00:21:23,630 --> 00:21:25,765 - Is it hers? - Hard to tell with no serial number. 476 00:21:25,797 --> 00:21:27,399 Yeah, probably why they put them on there. 477 00:21:27,424 --> 00:21:27,933 Rimshot. 478 00:21:27,967 --> 00:21:31,271 Hey, you should ask Veronica Deane if her agent reps gay porn stars. 479 00:21:31,304 --> 00:21:32,839 And maybe if she murdered this guy. 480 00:21:32,872 --> 00:21:35,275 - Ah, you got a real knack for this. - Rim Schott. 481 00:21:35,307 --> 00:21:36,776 Yeah, you don't have to say it every time. 482 00:21:36,808 --> 00:21:39,112 No, as my gay porn name. Not bad. 483 00:21:39,144 --> 00:21:40,613 - Let me through! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 484 00:21:40,646 --> 00:21:42,214 - Hey, this is a crime scene! - Hang on, hang on! 485 00:21:42,248 --> 00:21:44,383 Sterling! 486 00:21:49,087 --> 00:21:52,791 - Thanks. Thanks, assholes! - Yeah. Yeah, right? 487 00:21:52,825 --> 00:21:54,561 Archer? 488 00:21:56,496 --> 00:21:59,299 Bet she hasn't cried like that since Prohibition. 489 00:21:59,332 --> 00:22:01,066 - You little... - Ow! 490 00:22:01,100 --> 00:22:02,969 - Ow! Cut it... - Had me worried sick! 491 00:22:03,001 --> 00:22:06,306 Mother! Ow! Stop it. I am gut-shot, woman! 492 00:22:06,338 --> 00:22:08,642 By Veronica Deane, by the way, 493 00:22:08,674 --> 00:22:11,478 and I will be... more than happy to testify to that. 494 00:22:11,510 --> 00:22:12,811 Damn! 495 00:22:12,844 --> 00:22:14,314 Any idea where she is? 496 00:22:14,346 --> 00:22:17,083 Probably Mexico. Go to John Huston's house, 497 00:22:17,115 --> 00:22:19,818 - and start throwing coconuts. - Which I've always wanted to do. 498 00:22:19,852 --> 00:22:22,155 But... What? Okay, wait. How are there two of you? 499 00:22:22,188 --> 00:22:24,991 They've got robots. It's cool. We've already been through all this. So... 500 00:22:25,024 --> 00:22:27,160 - OKAY, A: They're not robots. - Nobody cares. 501 00:22:27,192 --> 00:22:30,497 they're obviously good enough to pass the Turing test. 502 00:22:30,529 --> 00:22:32,264 - Oh, totally. - Whatever that is. 503 00:22:32,297 --> 00:22:34,099 Okay, you're all free to go! 504 00:22:34,133 --> 00:22:36,902 - Including you, Miss Kane. - With our sincere apologies. 505 00:22:36,936 --> 00:22:38,838 Yeah... Not accepted. But... 506 00:22:38,871 --> 00:22:40,774 Speaking of... Archer, 507 00:22:40,806 --> 00:22:42,675 is there anything you'd like to say to me? 508 00:22:42,709 --> 00:22:46,680 Yes, Lana. There is. 509 00:22:50,115 --> 00:22:52,152 What's happening? What are we doing? 510 00:22:52,985 --> 00:22:55,354 Lana Kane... 511 00:22:59,225 --> 00:23:01,461 No-o-o! 512 00:23:02,729 --> 00:23:04,596 Wait, what just happened? 513 00:23:04,630 --> 00:23:07,700 Holy shitsnacks! 514 00:23:07,734 --> 00:23:11,104 Wait. But if that's a cyborg... 515 00:23:11,136 --> 00:23:13,239 That means... the man in the pool is... 516 00:23:15,674 --> 00:23:20,446 Ster-ling! 517 00:23:24,851 --> 00:23:27,688 Wow! Suck it, Alan Turing! 518 00:23:28,570 --> 00:23:30,641 - sync and corrections by Caio - - www.addic7ed.com - 518 00:23:31,305 --> 00:24:31,260 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP