1 00:00:11,664 --> 00:00:13,828 - What? - No. Nothing. 2 00:00:13,907 --> 00:00:15,952 Flies like a dream. 3 00:00:17,904 --> 00:00:18,981 Well, 4 00:00:19,058 --> 00:00:21,426 she did before you crashed her into a goddamn street 5 00:00:21,503 --> 00:00:23,848 anybody with the sense God gave a goddamn duck 6 00:00:23,925 --> 00:00:25,960 could tell was nowhere near wide enough. 7 00:00:26,037 --> 00:00:27,403 Ugh, ducks. 8 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:29,211 Don't start your racist bullshit. 9 00:00:29,288 --> 00:00:31,247 - You know I'm right. - And I'm in no mood. 10 00:00:31,324 --> 00:00:32,619 In some kind of mood. 11 00:00:32,696 --> 00:00:34,387 Yeah, you want to guess why? 12 00:00:34,464 --> 00:00:36,803 - Sterling? - Like in general, or... 13 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:38,043 - Bird. - Sterling! 14 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,600 What?! Sorry. 15 00:00:39,677 --> 00:00:41,020 What can I do for you? 16 00:00:41,097 --> 00:00:44,145 Well, you can start by watching that tone, mister. 17 00:00:44,222 --> 00:00:47,434 And then, you can tell me why I'm looking at the package 18 00:00:47,511 --> 00:00:50,023 you were supposed to fly to Tahiti today. 19 00:00:50,223 --> 00:00:51,666 Oh, did I not do that? 20 00:00:51,743 --> 00:00:57,061 Do I need to remind you just who exactly owns that flying crate? 21 00:00:57,138 --> 00:01:00,022 - Uh, aaah! - So wherever you idiots are, 22 00:01:00,099 --> 00:01:02,004 and whatever idiocy you're up to... 23 00:01:02,081 --> 00:01:03,565 I don't think idiots 24 00:01:03,642 --> 00:01:05,825 know how to find a million dollar treasure. 25 00:01:05,902 --> 00:01:07,027 A what? 26 00:01:07,146 --> 00:01:08,809 What'd she say, what treasure? 27 00:01:08,886 --> 00:01:10,432 What are you two up to? 28 00:01:10,509 --> 00:01:11,631 Sterling? 29 00:01:11,708 --> 00:01:14,106 Because you're both company employees 30 00:01:14,183 --> 00:01:18,020 using company resources on company time, and so, legally, 31 00:01:18,097 --> 00:01:21,210 anything of value, be it monetary or otherwise, 32 00:01:21,287 --> 00:01:23,950 that you may happen to make, find, stumble upon, 33 00:01:24,027 --> 00:01:25,898 or otherwise obt... 34 00:01:26,544 --> 00:01:27,592 Ugh, ahem! 35 00:01:27,669 --> 00:01:30,176 I, uh, probably shouldn't have said anything, huh? 36 00:01:30,253 --> 00:01:32,210 Yeah, but was that necessary? 37 00:01:32,287 --> 00:01:33,707 No, Crackers, it wasn't. 38 00:01:33,784 --> 00:01:36,280 In fact, it was wildly unnecessary. 39 00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:39,432 Like radish roses, or Pam running her fat mouth. 40 00:01:39,509 --> 00:01:41,587 - I like radish roses. - Right? 41 00:01:41,664 --> 00:01:43,153 - Typical. - Of what? 42 00:01:43,230 --> 00:01:44,514 Of assholes. 43 00:01:44,591 --> 00:01:45,889 Now get out your shitty map 44 00:01:45,966 --> 00:01:47,358 and get us to that goddamn idol 45 00:01:47,435 --> 00:01:49,393 so I can lie to my mother about finding it, 46 00:01:49,470 --> 00:01:52,974 and begin living a life of luxury where she can't find me. 47 00:01:53,051 --> 00:01:54,276 Okay. God. 48 00:01:54,422 --> 00:01:55,790 And it's not a shitty map. 49 00:01:55,867 --> 00:01:57,244 It'll take us right to the idol. 50 00:01:57,321 --> 00:01:59,525 Just set old Lucy down in Dead Man's Cove. 51 00:01:59,602 --> 00:02:00,567 Seriously? 52 00:02:00,644 --> 00:02:04,304 What, did somebody have dibs on Foreshadowing Lagoon? 53 00:02:04,446 --> 00:02:08,202 Hmm. It doesn't say. 54 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:16,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 55 00:02:40,179 --> 00:02:42,290 *ARCHER (2009)* Season 09 Episode 05 56 00:02:42,367 --> 00:02:44,431 Episode Title : "Danger Island: Strange Doings in the Taboo Groves" 57 00:02:46,029 --> 00:02:47,434 I just want to reiterate 58 00:02:47,511 --> 00:02:50,856 that I think it was a pretty bad idea to shoot the radio. 59 00:02:50,933 --> 00:02:52,959 Jesus, talk about foreshadowing. 60 00:02:53,036 --> 00:02:55,186 Yeah, or don't. In fact, how about you two 61 00:02:55,263 --> 00:02:56,381 don't talk about any... 62 00:02:56,458 --> 00:02:58,592 What the hell was that? 63 00:02:58,669 --> 00:03:00,620 Maybe howler monkeys? 64 00:03:02,785 --> 00:03:04,668 Hopefully howler monkeys? 65 00:03:04,745 --> 00:03:07,217 Yeah, except howler monkeys only live 66 00:03:07,294 --> 00:03:08,838 in Central and South America. 67 00:03:08,915 --> 00:03:11,004 Not only. Monkeys live everywhere. 68 00:03:11,081 --> 00:03:12,200 - No, they... - Shut up. One time, 69 00:03:12,277 --> 00:03:13,621 I saw a monkey in a bar, 70 00:03:13,698 --> 00:03:15,178 in Paris, France, Europe. 71 00:03:15,255 --> 00:03:17,348 - Wha...? - Dressed as a teeny tiny waiter. 72 00:03:17,425 --> 00:03:20,085 Well, then I obviously stand corrected. 73 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,614 Yeah. Like an idiot. 74 00:03:22,691 --> 00:03:23,747 I'm sorry? 75 00:03:23,858 --> 00:03:25,192 Hello. Breakfast? 76 00:03:25,269 --> 00:03:26,645 Oh, do tell. 77 00:03:26,722 --> 00:03:28,967 I will have a crispy golden Belgian waffle, 78 00:03:29,044 --> 00:03:31,020 drizzled with melted Belgian chocolate, 79 00:03:31,097 --> 00:03:33,775 with a side of Belgian endive. 80 00:03:33,896 --> 00:03:35,874 And I feel like I'd feel a lot better 81 00:03:35,951 --> 00:03:37,739 if you were maybe writing this down. 82 00:03:37,816 --> 00:03:39,537 No need, that's just 83 00:03:39,614 --> 00:03:41,553 - The King Leopold. - Really? 84 00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:43,577 That's, like, a dish you have? 85 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,797 Oh, sarcasm. 86 00:03:46,874 --> 00:03:48,890 Well, then I'll just have champagne. 87 00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:49,967 Fresh out. 88 00:03:50,044 --> 00:03:51,413 Can you check again? 89 00:03:51,490 --> 00:03:53,496 Or, I could have the Germans rip up 90 00:03:53,573 --> 00:03:56,049 the walls and floors helping you look? 91 00:03:56,365 --> 00:03:57,922 What kind? 92 00:03:57,999 --> 00:04:02,073 Mm... most expensive. 93 00:04:02,263 --> 00:04:06,395 Speaking of which, has Sterling mentioned anything to you 94 00:04:06,472 --> 00:04:10,150 about coming into some money, or, say... 95 00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:11,535 treasure? 96 00:04:11,612 --> 00:04:14,715 Oh, you mean since the night he defiled my young, supple body, 97 00:04:14,792 --> 00:04:18,281 destroyed my marriage, and sentenced me to a life of shame? 98 00:04:18,599 --> 00:04:19,725 Or whenever. 99 00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:22,121 And why the hell are youin here? 100 00:04:22,198 --> 00:04:23,465 Uh, breakfast? 101 00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:25,647 Not in here. You're 86'D. 102 00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,054 But I'm very hungry, 103 00:04:27,131 --> 00:04:30,364 and for some verdammtreason, Luigi is not open. 104 00:04:30,722 --> 00:04:34,403 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 105 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:38,807 I also overheard you mention something about hidden treasure? 106 00:04:38,884 --> 00:04:41,309 - Nope. - And also, I could not help 107 00:04:41,386 --> 00:04:43,973 but notice you have there a map of the island? 108 00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:45,989 - Nope. - And so, naturally, I wonder 109 00:04:46,066 --> 00:04:47,731 if you think there is some treasure 110 00:04:47,808 --> 00:04:49,182 hidden somewhere on the island. 111 00:04:49,259 --> 00:04:51,670 Like in the book by Robert Louis Stevenson? 112 00:04:51,747 --> 00:04:53,317 Weir of Hermiston? 113 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,403 Wha...? Nein, Treasure Island. 114 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,432 I don't know all his goddamn books! 115 00:04:57,509 --> 00:04:59,590 - Move! - But what I know 116 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:02,793 is that unless you want Manu to scramble youreggs... 117 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,877 Yeah, I would love some scrambled... 118 00:05:04,954 --> 00:05:06,114 Oh, I see. 119 00:05:06,191 --> 00:05:07,685 You mean my testicles. 120 00:05:07,894 --> 00:05:10,739 Schreckliche Stadt zum Fruhstuck. 121 00:05:11,392 --> 00:05:14,277 Well? Which way, "insert obscure reference 122 00:05:14,354 --> 00:05:15,752 to a famous cartographer"? 123 00:05:15,829 --> 00:05:17,322 Ooh, Hendrik Hondius? 124 00:05:17,399 --> 00:05:18,371 Sure. Pam? 125 00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:19,533 I don't know who that is. 126 00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:20,758 No. Which way? 127 00:05:20,835 --> 00:05:23,781 Okay, so... okay, so, the thing is... 128 00:05:23,858 --> 00:05:24,929 Give me that. 129 00:05:25,006 --> 00:05:26,156 Oh, my God. 130 00:05:26,233 --> 00:05:28,367 - Is that shit? - What? 131 00:05:28,444 --> 00:05:30,650 - Ew! - No, dumbass. 132 00:05:30,727 --> 00:05:31,799 It's barbecue sauce. 133 00:05:31,876 --> 00:05:33,750 - Wha...? - Kansas City or Carolina? 134 00:05:33,827 --> 00:05:35,205 What am I, an asshole? 135 00:05:35,282 --> 00:05:36,939 Already established, and so, 136 00:05:37,016 --> 00:05:38,593 what was already the world's worst map 137 00:05:38,670 --> 00:05:40,648 you somehow made even worse by... 138 00:05:40,725 --> 00:05:42,385 Wait, where'd you get barbecue? 139 00:05:42,462 --> 00:05:43,978 - What? - I haven't had barbecue 140 00:05:44,055 --> 00:05:45,883 since we left Spain, where the hell did you get it? 141 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,351 - Oh. Uh... - Pam. 142 00:05:47,428 --> 00:05:49,298 - Look, it's not... - Oh, my God. 143 00:05:49,375 --> 00:05:50,523 - Did you... - Oh, no. 144 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:51,617 Eat a person? 145 00:05:51,694 --> 00:05:53,346 - What? No! - Ew! 146 00:05:53,423 --> 00:05:56,041 - Then, where'd you get barbecue? - I didn't. 147 00:05:56,118 --> 00:05:57,822 Then why'd you have barbecue sauce? 148 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,651 I don't... I mean, I've been drinking it. 149 00:05:59,728 --> 00:06:01,198 - What? - Oh, for the... 150 00:06:01,275 --> 00:06:03,221 As an aperitif. Happy? 151 00:06:03,298 --> 00:06:05,222 Happy you drink barbecue sauce? 152 00:06:05,299 --> 00:06:06,674 It's basically V8. 153 00:06:06,751 --> 00:06:08,687 It's brown sugar and ketchup. 154 00:06:08,764 --> 00:06:10,888 Goddamn it, which way, Pam? 155 00:06:10,965 --> 00:06:11,963 That way. 156 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,360 You're sure? 157 00:06:14,016 --> 00:06:15,540 Positive. 158 00:06:15,657 --> 00:06:17,221 Well, you totally sold that. 159 00:06:17,298 --> 00:06:19,031 I'm gonna miss that dopey confidence 160 00:06:19,108 --> 00:06:20,744 once we find this damn idol... 161 00:06:20,821 --> 00:06:22,068 - What the...? - Archer? 162 00:06:22,145 --> 00:06:25,706 Oh! Ow! Oh! Oh! Ugh! 163 00:06:26,031 --> 00:06:27,360 Oh... 164 00:06:28,578 --> 00:06:29,604 Archer? 165 00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:30,677 Be careful. 166 00:06:30,754 --> 00:06:31,804 Thanks, dummy. 167 00:06:31,881 --> 00:06:33,666 - Eh. - Oh, shit. 168 00:06:33,743 --> 00:06:36,034 It's a big, steep-ass ravine. 169 00:06:36,212 --> 00:06:38,338 Okay, I'm gonna have to rappel down. 170 00:06:38,415 --> 00:06:39,679 Should I come with you? 171 00:06:39,756 --> 00:06:42,221 Yeah. Or your dumb ass could fly. 172 00:06:42,298 --> 00:06:43,563 Oh, right. 173 00:06:51,469 --> 00:06:53,326 Come on, you got it, just hurry up. 174 00:06:53,403 --> 00:06:54,361 Why, is he hurt? 175 00:06:54,438 --> 00:06:55,797 - No, but... - Shut up. 176 00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:57,745 Archer? You okay? 177 00:06:57,822 --> 00:07:00,135 Uh, yeah, currently. 178 00:07:01,929 --> 00:07:03,525 What do you mean, "currently"? 179 00:07:04,243 --> 00:07:06,627 Holy shitsnacks. 180 00:07:06,704 --> 00:07:08,898 - Yeah. - Quicksand! 181 00:07:08,975 --> 00:07:10,204 Yeah. 182 00:07:10,362 --> 00:07:13,120 And that's still going on. 183 00:07:14,742 --> 00:07:17,049 Which... so great. 184 00:07:18,626 --> 00:07:21,468 You cannot be serious. Archer? 185 00:07:21,545 --> 00:07:23,291 Is out there looking for the idol? 186 00:07:23,368 --> 00:07:24,695 How does he even know where to look? 187 00:07:24,772 --> 00:07:26,843 Well, I have no way to know this, but, uh... 188 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,167 But meanwhile, 189 00:07:28,244 --> 00:07:30,304 instead of searching the jungle for the idol, 190 00:07:30,381 --> 00:07:32,148 your men are getting drunk every night 191 00:07:32,225 --> 00:07:34,685 and shtupping the crazy coconut lady. 192 00:07:34,762 --> 00:07:37,318 Yeah, they are really mondsuchtig. 193 00:07:37,395 --> 00:07:38,400 "Moonstruck"? 194 00:07:38,477 --> 00:07:39,953 - Moonstruck. - Besotted. 195 00:07:40,030 --> 00:07:41,920 I know what it means. 196 00:07:41,997 --> 00:07:44,080 But I can't help wonder if Japanese soldiers 197 00:07:44,157 --> 00:07:45,904 wouldn't be much more disciplined. 198 00:07:45,981 --> 00:07:47,617 All right. I get your point. 199 00:07:47,694 --> 00:07:49,110 I will find it. 200 00:07:49,187 --> 00:07:51,569 Now, how about a little fruhstuck, 201 00:07:51,646 --> 00:07:52,843 my little passion fruit? 202 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,049 Not until you pay me for the idol. 203 00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:57,117 Oh, but that makes our relationship 204 00:07:57,194 --> 00:07:58,961 sound so transactional. 205 00:07:59,038 --> 00:08:00,679 It istransactional. 206 00:08:00,756 --> 00:08:02,951 Hoh! I know, but it hurts to hear it. 207 00:08:03,028 --> 00:08:07,003 No idol, no money, no fruit. 208 00:08:10,071 --> 00:08:11,673 Deine Freizeit. 209 00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:13,206 Ist kaputt! 210 00:08:13,283 --> 00:08:16,157 Erste Sache, nicht mehr mit deiser 211 00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:18,979 verruckten Kokosnussfrau shtuppen! 212 00:08:19,260 --> 00:08:20,568 Was willst du? 213 00:08:20,651 --> 00:08:23,627 Uh, we were wondering if, perhaps, as a group, 214 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:24,945 we could speak English? 215 00:08:25,022 --> 00:08:26,505 - Yeah, English. - Warum? 216 00:08:26,582 --> 00:08:29,978 Well, as you call her, this "crazy coconut lady," 217 00:08:30,055 --> 00:08:33,281 does not speak German, so we would like to practice English. 218 00:08:33,358 --> 00:08:34,709 Yeah. -Why not? 219 00:08:34,786 --> 00:08:36,085 Why, do you think this woman 220 00:08:36,162 --> 00:08:38,549 would ever marry one of you dummkopfen? 221 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,263 I mean... 222 00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:41,968 Fine. English, then. 223 00:08:42,045 --> 00:08:43,843 We march today into the jungle, 224 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,906 where we will search for and find, 225 00:08:45,983 --> 00:08:49,797 something vital to the future of our great fatherland. 226 00:08:49,923 --> 00:08:53,644 But the jungle is very dangerous, full of lizards 227 00:08:53,721 --> 00:08:56,473 and snakes and cannibals and what else, Gott wei? 228 00:08:56,550 --> 00:08:58,213 Can we shoot the lizards and snakes? 229 00:08:58,290 --> 00:08:59,502 Yes, of course. 230 00:08:59,579 --> 00:09:00,906 Can we shoot the cannibals? 231 00:09:00,983 --> 00:09:03,486 You can shoot anything you want! 232 00:09:03,563 --> 00:09:05,792 Now are there any other questions? 233 00:09:06,329 --> 00:09:08,846 That are not about shooting things? 234 00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:10,764 Then, let's go. 235 00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:13,185 The American pilots may have a head start on us. 236 00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:15,838 They also may be smarter than they look. 237 00:09:16,116 --> 00:09:18,049 Because get the hell off me, bird! 238 00:09:18,126 --> 00:09:19,765 But I'm hugging you, with my talons. 239 00:09:19,842 --> 00:09:21,525 - Why? - 'Cause I'm here for you. 240 00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,535 Well, "be here" somewhere else. 241 00:09:23,612 --> 00:09:25,934 Yeesh. With friends like you. 242 00:09:26,011 --> 00:09:28,184 Case in point, what'd you mean when you said 243 00:09:28,261 --> 00:09:29,898 you were gonna miss me once we found the idol? 244 00:09:29,975 --> 00:09:31,893 I... can we talk about this later? 245 00:09:31,970 --> 00:09:33,815 No. Why'd you say you'd miss me? 246 00:09:33,892 --> 00:09:35,356 I... look, you're gonna miss me 247 00:09:35,433 --> 00:09:37,315 if I drown in this goddamn quicksand. 248 00:09:37,392 --> 00:09:40,713 Yeah, try not to thrash around, it makes you sink faster. 249 00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:41,906 How would you know? 250 00:09:41,983 --> 00:09:42,963 Cowboy movies. 251 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,859 Can you please just get me out of here? 252 00:09:44,936 --> 00:09:46,419 And how's this even supposed to work? 253 00:09:46,496 --> 00:09:48,090 Oh, my God, Elisha Otis, 254 00:09:48,167 --> 00:09:50,127 you throw the rope over that branch up there. 255 00:09:50,204 --> 00:09:52,543 I catch the rope, I hold onto the rope. 256 00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:54,158 You hold on to your end of the rope, 257 00:09:54,235 --> 00:09:55,490 and then you pull me to safety. 258 00:09:55,567 --> 00:09:57,692 But wait, I mean, I can't pull you out 259 00:09:57,769 --> 00:09:59,388 if you weigh more than I do. 260 00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,340 Heyyyy! Excuse me? 261 00:10:01,417 --> 00:10:03,192 I mean, that's like science-physics. 262 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,719 You think I weigh more than you. 263 00:10:04,796 --> 00:10:06,642 Uh, hah, yeaaah. 264 00:10:06,719 --> 00:10:07,825 You're a man. 265 00:10:07,902 --> 00:10:08,964 - Crackers? - Nope. 266 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:10,283 Bird? 267 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,376 Wait, what? 268 00:10:11,453 --> 00:10:13,169 You think I weigh more than him? 269 00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:14,322 I mean... 270 00:10:14,399 --> 00:10:15,491 No, not in a... 271 00:10:15,568 --> 00:10:17,441 Come on, you're big-boned. 272 00:10:17,518 --> 00:10:19,823 - And easily six five. - Now can you please use 273 00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:22,195 those big-ass bones to get me out of this bullshit? 274 00:10:22,314 --> 00:10:24,604 Okay, smart guys, I'll bet you. 275 00:10:25,413 --> 00:10:27,893 50 bucks says Archer's heavier. 276 00:10:27,970 --> 00:10:29,213 Make it a hundred. 277 00:10:29,290 --> 00:10:31,736 - You're on. - Well, but there's his actual weight, 278 00:10:31,813 --> 00:10:34,135 plus you also have to overcome the suction power 279 00:10:34,212 --> 00:10:36,846 of the quicksand, and I don't know if that's expressed 280 00:10:36,923 --> 00:10:38,875 in foot-pounds, or newton metres, or... 281 00:10:38,952 --> 00:10:40,510 I don't care if it's in ergs. 282 00:10:40,587 --> 00:10:42,901 - It's not. - She still weighs more than me. 283 00:10:42,978 --> 00:10:44,830 Then, let's make it 200. 284 00:10:44,907 --> 00:10:46,527 Bring it. 285 00:10:46,819 --> 00:10:48,979 The real problem here, though, isn't which one of you 286 00:10:49,261 --> 00:10:52,527 weighs more, it's your combined weights in relation to the... 287 00:10:52,604 --> 00:10:54,572 - Whoa! - Oh, no, no, no. Ow! 288 00:10:54,649 --> 00:10:56,626 Oh! Ooh! W-Whoa. 289 00:10:59,578 --> 00:11:02,032 Yeah, I was gonna say the branch. 290 00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:06,811 I mean, first Pam mentions treasure 291 00:11:06,888 --> 00:11:10,272 and then that sneaky little kraut gets all flustered, 292 00:11:10,349 --> 00:11:12,082 like he's heard of the treasure? 293 00:11:12,159 --> 00:11:14,867 What if there's actually treasure on the island? 294 00:11:15,515 --> 00:11:16,864 Think it is a good story. 295 00:11:16,941 --> 00:11:19,178 I mean, it is no Weir of Hermiston, but... 296 00:11:19,255 --> 00:11:21,525 Oh, shut up. What about him? 297 00:11:21,602 --> 00:11:22,787 He's not read it. 298 00:11:22,864 --> 00:11:25,354 No. Ask him about the treasure. 299 00:11:25,525 --> 00:11:28,370 Like if there's a native legend or something. 300 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,632 - Aaaah! - He says yes. 301 00:11:35,709 --> 00:11:37,435 Where? Ask him where. 302 00:11:37,512 --> 00:11:39,206 Ou, Doudou, ou? 303 00:11:41,540 --> 00:11:44,034 He says somewhere in this area here, 304 00:11:44,141 --> 00:11:46,240 close to La Crique de l'Homme Mort. 305 00:11:46,317 --> 00:11:48,792 It means Dead Man's Cove. 306 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,377 "Dead Man's Cove"? 307 00:11:51,507 --> 00:11:55,810 What, did somebody already have dibs on Harbinger Harbor? 308 00:11:55,887 --> 00:11:58,655 He say he don't know. 309 00:11:58,732 --> 00:12:00,151 Because why'd you say you'd miss me 310 00:12:00,228 --> 00:12:02,100 once we found the goddamn idol? 311 00:12:02,177 --> 00:12:03,818 - Oh, my God. - Well? 312 00:12:03,895 --> 00:12:05,674 I... wait. Crackers. 313 00:12:05,751 --> 00:12:07,691 If I can tie the rope around this heavy branch, 314 00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:10,168 can you fly it up into the notch of that tree 315 00:12:10,245 --> 00:12:11,495 and kind of wedge it in there? 316 00:12:11,572 --> 00:12:13,932 I don't know. Can you bench-press a train? 317 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,703 I don't know. Can you bench-press a train? 318 00:12:15,780 --> 00:12:19,094 Hey, but what I could do is use the radio in the plane to... 319 00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:21,216 wait for it... 320 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,360 - You know... - I could fly back to town and get help. 321 00:12:24,437 --> 00:12:25,938 - I'm sure your mother would... - No. 322 00:12:26,015 --> 00:12:28,475 All Mother cares about is getting her Manu-hooks 323 00:12:28,552 --> 00:12:32,307 into whatever money the idol's worth thanks to Pam, so no. 324 00:12:32,384 --> 00:12:33,955 Nobody's going anywhere. 325 00:12:34,032 --> 00:12:35,062 Certainly not you two. 326 00:12:35,139 --> 00:12:37,316 Will you shut up and let me think? 327 00:12:38,663 --> 00:12:40,768 Why'd you say you'd miss me if you... 328 00:12:40,845 --> 00:12:42,578 Goddamn it! Because! 329 00:12:42,655 --> 00:12:46,125 Pam! I'm currently up to my ears in quicksand! 330 00:12:46,202 --> 00:12:48,271 And before that, I flew here in a plane 331 00:12:48,348 --> 00:12:50,788 made out of literal garbage, and before that, 332 00:12:50,865 --> 00:12:53,711 my eyeball got shot out in Spain, and before that, 333 00:12:53,788 --> 00:12:55,954 I went bust on those goddamn chinchilladas. 334 00:12:56,031 --> 00:12:58,740 And the common denominator in every bad thing 335 00:12:58,817 --> 00:13:01,205 that's ever happened to me is you! 336 00:13:01,282 --> 00:13:02,477 And you know why?! 337 00:13:02,554 --> 00:13:06,097 Because the only two kinds of luck you have are bad and none 338 00:13:06,174 --> 00:13:09,039 because you are a jinx! 339 00:13:09,116 --> 00:13:12,638 And that idol is my ticket out of Loserville, 340 00:13:12,715 --> 00:13:15,641 population you! 341 00:13:21,623 --> 00:13:22,878 Goddamn, dude. 342 00:13:22,955 --> 00:13:24,349 Shut up, bird! 343 00:13:24,426 --> 00:13:26,117 And as for you... 344 00:13:26,194 --> 00:13:28,909 Hey. Hey, come on. 345 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:31,356 Knock it off. I-I-I'm sorry. 346 00:13:31,433 --> 00:13:32,998 I didn't mean that. I-I just meant... 347 00:13:33,075 --> 00:13:35,263 Ow! What the...? 348 00:13:39,314 --> 00:13:42,103 So great. 349 00:13:46,537 --> 00:13:47,562 Ow. 350 00:13:47,655 --> 00:13:49,537 What the hell are you doing over there? 351 00:13:49,614 --> 00:13:50,739 Waiting for your pitch? 352 00:13:50,816 --> 00:13:52,365 I'm doing the best I can. 353 00:13:52,442 --> 00:13:54,511 Which I'm sure isn't good enough for you 354 00:13:54,588 --> 00:13:57,589 because apparently, it never is, but don't worry. 355 00:13:57,666 --> 00:13:59,961 If we get out of here alive... 356 00:14:00,185 --> 00:14:02,635 you and me are quitsies. 357 00:14:03,311 --> 00:14:05,687 Well, that suits me just fine. Ow! 358 00:14:05,764 --> 00:14:08,452 Well, it's been not so nice knowing you. 359 00:14:08,529 --> 00:14:10,490 Guys, come on, you're talking crazy. 360 00:14:10,567 --> 00:14:12,222 Well, why should I stick around somebody 361 00:14:12,299 --> 00:14:13,498 who doesn't appreciate me? 362 00:14:13,575 --> 00:14:14,891 No, about getting out of here alive. 363 00:14:14,968 --> 00:14:16,817 Uh, I've been in tougher scrapes than... ow! 364 00:14:16,894 --> 00:14:19,478 He's right. We can't do this forever. 365 00:14:22,676 --> 00:14:25,194 That is very strange. 366 00:14:25,291 --> 00:14:27,646 It sounds like howler monkeys, 367 00:14:27,723 --> 00:14:30,162 but they are not indigenous to the Pacific. 368 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:34,357 Ow! Yes, damn it, you can shoot the monkeys! 369 00:14:34,504 --> 00:14:36,826 Then what? What was your question? 370 00:14:36,903 --> 00:14:40,876 Sorry. I was just going to ask if we can shoot the monkeys. 371 00:14:40,953 --> 00:14:42,970 - What?! - He just said that. 372 00:14:43,047 --> 00:14:47,255 Ah, I know, but I was going to ask it before he said that 373 00:14:47,332 --> 00:14:50,189 and then he asked me what my question was and... 374 00:14:52,521 --> 00:14:54,256 Any other questions? 375 00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:56,581 Well, then what would you suggest? 376 00:14:56,658 --> 00:14:58,215 That I fly back to town for help. 377 00:14:58,292 --> 00:15:00,085 - No! - What? - What do you mean, "no"? 378 00:15:00,162 --> 00:15:02,136 You go back for help, Mother's gonna find out, 379 00:15:02,213 --> 00:15:05,206 get her nosy beak all up in it and the next thing you know, 380 00:15:05,283 --> 00:15:07,360 she tricks us out of our million dollar treasure. - 381 00:15:07,437 --> 00:15:10,027 - What? - Wait. So, you'd rather just die? 382 00:15:10,104 --> 00:15:12,640 Than to see her spending my fortune on boy toys 383 00:15:12,717 --> 00:15:14,196 and artisanal gin? Ow! 384 00:15:14,273 --> 00:15:15,649 - Oh, my God. - Well? 385 00:15:15,726 --> 00:15:16,878 - I'm going for help. - No! 386 00:15:16,955 --> 00:15:18,269 - Yes! - No! 387 00:15:18,346 --> 00:15:21,029 - Yep. Yep, yep, yep. - Goddamn it, Crackers. 388 00:15:21,106 --> 00:15:22,794 And you get the bird, by the way. 389 00:15:22,871 --> 00:15:25,243 - Who says I want him? - I can still hear you. 390 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,449 - Shut up, bird! - Shut up, bird! - Eh. 391 00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:28,685 Excuse me? 392 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,370 I said I'm going with you 393 00:15:30,447 --> 00:15:32,391 to look for hidden treasure or whatever. 394 00:15:32,468 --> 00:15:34,078 Have you lost your mind? 395 00:15:34,155 --> 00:15:38,177 I think maybe I have, yeah, because if you leave me here, 396 00:15:38,254 --> 00:15:40,936 I am gonna burn down your goddamn hotel! 397 00:15:41,013 --> 00:15:43,009 You can't! Arrest her. 398 00:15:43,086 --> 00:15:45,043 Oh, no. Never again. 399 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:46,597 I say bring her along. 400 00:15:46,674 --> 00:15:50,131 With any luck, she will be torn apart and eaten by wild animals. 401 00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:51,866 Mm-mmm! 402 00:15:54,008 --> 00:15:55,209 Aw, shit. 403 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:57,341 Oh, for... way to go, idiot. 404 00:15:57,418 --> 00:15:59,580 How is that my fault? Ow. 405 00:15:59,657 --> 00:16:01,880 How is everything your fault? Ow! 406 00:16:01,957 --> 00:16:03,672 - Exactly. - Wait, what? 407 00:16:03,749 --> 00:16:05,687 You're the one who's always shooting off his... 408 00:16:05,764 --> 00:16:07,274 Hey, wait. Where's your gun? 409 00:16:07,351 --> 00:16:10,286 Why? You need something that's full of goddamn quicksand? 410 00:16:10,363 --> 00:16:11,731 You can at least show it to them. 411 00:16:11,808 --> 00:16:13,247 What good would that possibly do? 412 00:16:13,324 --> 00:16:15,361 I don't know. It might scare them off. 413 00:16:15,438 --> 00:16:17,790 They don't know what a gun is. Ow! 414 00:16:17,867 --> 00:16:19,007 You don't know that. 415 00:16:19,084 --> 00:16:21,569 For all you know, they broke out of some top secret lab. 416 00:16:21,646 --> 00:16:23,216 They might be super intelligent. 417 00:16:23,293 --> 00:16:24,924 Do they look super intelligent? 418 00:16:25,001 --> 00:16:26,389 Oh. 419 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,124 Who among us... ow! 420 00:16:29,211 --> 00:16:30,985 Come on. Show them the heater. 421 00:16:31,062 --> 00:16:33,483 Uh! But only because this is the last time 422 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,471 I do one of your stupid ideas. 423 00:16:35,633 --> 00:16:37,383 There. Happy? 424 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,464 What the...? 425 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:41,917 Holy shit. 426 00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,833 - They're running away. - See? 427 00:16:43,910 --> 00:16:45,375 It wasn't because of the gun. 428 00:16:45,452 --> 00:16:47,489 Yeah. I mean, maybe they were just as sick 429 00:16:47,566 --> 00:16:49,349 of your bullshit as I am. 430 00:16:49,666 --> 00:16:51,630 They sound very excited, no? 431 00:16:52,332 --> 00:16:55,365 Must be with the crazy coconut lady. 432 00:16:56,541 --> 00:16:57,649 Doudou! 433 00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,770 Idiot, regards la route! 434 00:16:59,847 --> 00:17:03,274 Oh, my God, and if you see any oysters, we have to stop. 435 00:17:03,351 --> 00:17:05,123 I am starving. 436 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,269 Wh... where the hell would we see oysters?! 437 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,231 Wherever. 438 00:17:10,308 --> 00:17:12,580 - Oh, whatever. - Then tell me. 439 00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:14,840 Tell me one time us being partners 440 00:17:14,917 --> 00:17:18,723 got us out of a bad situation instead of deeper in it. 441 00:17:19,009 --> 00:17:20,443 Oh, great. 442 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,032 - Maybe you could float us out. - I'm sorry. 443 00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:26,258 It just hurts to hear your best friend in the whole world 444 00:17:26,335 --> 00:17:30,001 say it's just been a big fat waste of time 445 00:17:30,078 --> 00:17:34,397 and he'd be better off if he never even met you, 446 00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:39,749 even after you gave him the best years of your life 447 00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:45,721 and you got nothing... nothing to show for it 448 00:17:45,834 --> 00:17:50,309 except for half an old magical bird! 449 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:51,880 Magical? 450 00:17:51,986 --> 00:17:54,006 Well, how else can you explain it? 451 00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:56,714 That's not normal bird behavior. 452 00:17:56,791 --> 00:17:57,862 He's a parrot. 453 00:17:57,939 --> 00:17:59,388 - Still, though. - Well, but, 454 00:17:59,465 --> 00:18:01,337 come on, the best years of your life? 455 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,413 I mean, it's not like we were a couple. 456 00:18:03,490 --> 00:18:06,657 No. I was never a couple with anybody 457 00:18:06,734 --> 00:18:09,387 because I put everything into us 458 00:18:09,472 --> 00:18:12,196 and I have nothing, Archer! 459 00:18:12,273 --> 00:18:13,524 Nothing! 460 00:18:13,601 --> 00:18:16,215 Well, Jesus Christ, what am I supposed to do, Pam? 461 00:18:16,292 --> 00:18:17,570 Ask you to marry me? 462 00:18:17,647 --> 00:18:19,224 Wait, what? 463 00:18:19,301 --> 00:18:20,416 What? 464 00:18:20,493 --> 00:18:22,097 - Are you...? - Oh, no, no, no. 465 00:18:22,174 --> 00:18:24,899 - No, I... - Oh-ho! I get it! 466 00:18:24,976 --> 00:18:29,425 You'd have to be some kind of giant flapping asshole 467 00:18:29,502 --> 00:18:32,950 to ask that big dumb Pam Poovey to marry you! 468 00:18:33,027 --> 00:18:35,501 - No, come on. - You're a great gal. 469 00:18:35,578 --> 00:18:37,955 You're smart. You're funny. 470 00:18:38,032 --> 00:18:39,842 Any guy would be lucky to have you. 471 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,895 You didn't say pretty. 472 00:18:41,972 --> 00:18:43,595 In your own way you are, 473 00:18:43,672 --> 00:18:46,370 if you'd ever put on some makeup or a dress. 474 00:18:46,447 --> 00:18:48,050 And I mean, I assume you've got 475 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,772 a pretty colossal set of tits under there. 476 00:18:49,849 --> 00:18:53,101 They are. They are goddamn colossal. 477 00:18:53,178 --> 00:18:54,579 And we are best friends. 478 00:18:54,656 --> 00:18:57,394 You're actually the only person I don't hate to be around. 479 00:18:57,611 --> 00:19:00,723 I guess we do kind of make a pretty great team. 480 00:19:01,025 --> 00:19:02,283 Wait. 481 00:19:02,572 --> 00:19:05,669 What are you... what are you saying? 482 00:19:05,746 --> 00:19:08,590 I-I mean... I-I don't know. 483 00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:12,103 If-if I did ask you to marry me someday, 484 00:19:12,236 --> 00:19:14,418 wh-wh-what would you say? 485 00:19:20,988 --> 00:19:22,494 Okay. 486 00:19:23,823 --> 00:19:25,683 Oh, my God. 487 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,170 - You goddamn idiot. - Okay. 488 00:19:28,247 --> 00:19:30,619 I can't believe I got you to say that. 489 00:19:30,765 --> 00:19:34,775 That is the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. 490 00:19:34,861 --> 00:19:38,086 - I mean, that idea sucks. - Okay! 491 00:19:38,163 --> 00:19:43,014 That idea would suck a dick just to cut in line 492 00:19:43,091 --> 00:19:46,936 - to suck a bigger dick. - Okay, Pam. 493 00:19:47,013 --> 00:19:48,422 Oh, man. 494 00:19:49,217 --> 00:19:50,296 Thank you. 495 00:19:50,373 --> 00:19:51,434 I needed that. 496 00:19:51,511 --> 00:19:53,572 Yeah, well, you know what I need? 497 00:19:54,034 --> 00:19:56,595 Oh, my God, it's up to my mouth. 498 00:19:56,789 --> 00:19:59,491 W-Wait. Why isn't it up to your mouth? 499 00:19:59,568 --> 00:20:01,018 - What? - The quicksand. 500 00:20:01,095 --> 00:20:02,611 Why aren't you sinking? 501 00:20:02,726 --> 00:20:03,998 I can touch. 502 00:20:04,075 --> 00:20:05,942 What? -My feet are touching the bottom. 503 00:20:06,019 --> 00:20:09,138 Then why didn't you just walk out?! 504 00:20:09,215 --> 00:20:12,352 Well, I was going to, then you started blubbering 505 00:20:12,429 --> 00:20:14,557 about how you wanted to get married and shit and... 506 00:20:14,634 --> 00:20:16,796 Get your big ass out of this goddamn quicksand 507 00:20:16,873 --> 00:20:18,527 and then get my ass out! 508 00:20:18,604 --> 00:20:21,579 - Okay, geez. Lighten up already. - Hurry up! 509 00:20:21,656 --> 00:20:24,001 You can't go through life pissed off all the damn time. 510 00:20:24,078 --> 00:20:25,600 It'll give you ball cancer. 511 00:20:25,677 --> 00:20:29,502 I had an uncle once, Norm, always pissed off and... whoops! 512 00:20:31,154 --> 00:20:33,033 And? 513 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,937 Um... 514 00:20:37,541 --> 00:20:39,207 What happened to Norm? 515 00:20:39,563 --> 00:20:40,942 Let me guess. 516 00:20:41,019 --> 00:20:43,136 Did you annoy him to death? 517 00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:48,088 Synchronized by srjanapala 517 00:20:49,305 --> 00:21:49,253 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP