1 00:00:41,111 --> 00:00:44,130 Guess that whole reaping what you sow thing works both ways. 2 00:00:45,332 --> 00:00:47,425 Hey, it's me again. Don Konkey, 3 00:00:47,585 --> 00:00:49,323 DirtNow's resident schizophrenic. 4 00:00:49,443 --> 00:00:51,012 Dad, I think it's time. 5 00:00:51,255 --> 00:00:52,471 And photographer. 6 00:00:52,631 --> 00:00:54,015 I take photos of celebrities 7 00:00:54,258 --> 00:00:56,811 and sell 'em to my best friend and boss Lucy Spiller, 8 00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:59,061 the editor of DirtNow magazine. 9 00:00:59,221 --> 00:01:01,856 So much to catch you up on, so try and keep up. 10 00:01:02,310 --> 00:01:05,735 It all started when Holt McLaren sold info to Lucy about Kira being pregnant. 11 00:01:06,253 --> 00:01:09,030 After Lucy broke the story, Kira od'd and died. 12 00:01:09,919 --> 00:01:11,449 After hearing about Kira's death, 13 00:01:11,609 --> 00:01:13,534 Holt freaked out and flipped his car 14 00:01:13,694 --> 00:01:15,847 with his girlfriend, big star Julia Mallory, 15 00:01:15,967 --> 00:01:18,434 And that's when things got really complicated. 16 00:01:18,554 --> 00:01:20,499 Lucy and Holt kind of had sex. 17 00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:22,280 A lot. 18 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,879 Julia started to slide into the world of drugs and sex. 19 00:01:25,157 --> 00:01:27,381 Jesus Christ, Julia, what the hell are you doing? 20 00:01:27,541 --> 00:01:30,551 And then leaked her own sex tape, then claimed she was raped. 21 00:01:30,711 --> 00:01:32,076 She'd have gotten away with it 22 00:01:32,196 --> 00:01:33,971 if Lucy hadn't found out and published the truth. 23 00:01:34,131 --> 00:01:35,641 This is a great cover. 24 00:01:37,595 --> 00:01:39,268 I'm really worried about her. 25 00:01:39,428 --> 00:01:40,978 She's been in a coma now for two weeks. 26 00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,037 I'm all she has left. 27 00:01:43,157 --> 00:01:44,340 Oh, my God. 28 00:01:45,393 --> 00:01:46,614 Oh, my God. 29 00:01:50,816 --> 00:01:53,458 Anyway, I'm just really hoping Lucy wakes up 30 00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:55,726 and things get back to normal. 31 00:02:42,657 --> 00:02:44,202 You're all right, Lucy. 32 00:02:44,528 --> 00:02:46,061 Yeah, you're all right. 33 00:02:48,372 --> 00:02:49,346 You're okay. 34 00:02:49,466 --> 00:02:52,299 You got hurt, but now you're okay 35 00:02:52,459 --> 00:02:53,757 cause you're safe. 36 00:02:58,010 --> 00:02:59,748 All right, miss Spiller. 37 00:03:00,718 --> 00:03:02,074 You're all right. 38 00:03:03,405 --> 00:03:05,098 Just try to say something. 39 00:03:09,097 --> 00:03:10,651 I think she's asking for her mother. 40 00:03:10,771 --> 00:03:12,361 No, no, no, no. listen. 41 00:03:14,982 --> 00:03:16,323 The cover. 42 00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:20,020 Cover. 43 00:03:23,699 --> 00:03:25,499 Transcript: yyets.net 44 00:03:26,327 --> 00:03:28,169 Synchro: _/Yellow Sub_ 45 00:03:28,170 --> 00:03:29,587 Synchro: ::ITASA:: 46 00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:35,551 Season 2 Episode 1 Welcome To Normal 47 00:03:38,145 --> 00:03:41,210 This is great. This should be a sidebar. 48 00:03:42,029 --> 00:03:45,102 Okay, lose the drop cap on this one. We're not The New Yorker. 49 00:03:45,614 --> 00:03:47,813 I've asked for the sales numbers twice. What's up? 50 00:03:47,973 --> 00:03:49,398 Terry's bringing them over. 51 00:03:49,558 --> 00:03:50,816 Bringing them over? call her. 52 00:03:50,976 --> 00:03:53,277 - She needs her rest. - No, no, Don. 53 00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:54,283 Go. 54 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:57,482 Don, I'm fine. 55 00:03:57,602 --> 00:04:00,025 That's because you've been getting a rest. 56 00:04:05,032 --> 00:04:06,680 How's the injection going? 57 00:04:07,679 --> 00:04:09,752 They mix the drugs with sesame oil 58 00:04:10,223 --> 00:04:13,429 to cause it to time release. Just regular sesame oil. 59 00:04:13,833 --> 00:04:14,882 Like a stir fry. 60 00:04:17,766 --> 00:04:19,070 Don't... don't... 61 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,275 I can't believe I'm looking at you. 62 00:04:29,649 --> 00:04:31,962 Now I know you were here the whole time. 63 00:04:32,942 --> 00:04:34,610 I could feel you. 64 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,115 It's night, Don. You got to go home. 65 00:04:39,275 --> 00:04:41,408 You do. You got to sleep in your own bed. 66 00:04:41,568 --> 00:04:45,238 I don't care how many pizza boxes or newspapers are piled on it. 67 00:04:46,276 --> 00:04:48,001 You got to go home. 68 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,037 Come on, have some tea. 69 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:51,414 Thank you. 70 00:04:53,039 --> 00:04:54,220 That hurts. 71 00:04:56,459 --> 00:04:57,875 How you doing, buddy? 72 00:04:57,995 --> 00:04:59,718 You're getting bigger all the time. 73 00:05:08,971 --> 00:05:09,895 Holt McLaren. 74 00:05:10,055 --> 00:05:11,147 Don Konkey. 75 00:05:11,409 --> 00:05:15,409 David fincher described you as an actor possessed and deeply instinctual. 76 00:05:16,198 --> 00:05:18,788 The movie tracked well with men 18-34, 77 00:05:18,981 --> 00:05:20,411 even better with women. 78 00:05:20,531 --> 00:05:21,794 That's good to know. 79 00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:23,530 While your reviews were excellent, 80 00:05:23,650 --> 00:05:25,870 the movie probably won't receive a nomination 81 00:05:26,030 --> 00:05:28,311 Because it's considered a genre film. 82 00:05:28,782 --> 00:05:30,508 Listen, man, can I come in? 83 00:05:31,486 --> 00:05:32,793 Who told you were I live? 84 00:05:33,121 --> 00:05:34,671 A woman, 18 to 34. 85 00:05:36,084 --> 00:05:37,411 - Right. - Yeah. 86 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,380 I don't have any beer. 87 00:05:43,752 --> 00:05:46,223 You drink Bud, Corona, Rolling Rock. 88 00:05:46,491 --> 00:05:48,017 I do have some cheese, however. 89 00:05:48,177 --> 00:05:50,411 - What's that smell? - My cat. 90 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:56,722 Did you tell her I tried to visit her? 91 00:05:58,704 --> 00:05:59,778 No. I, uh... 92 00:06:00,814 --> 00:06:02,114 She needs to rest. 93 00:06:03,421 --> 00:06:04,807 I miss her. 94 00:06:05,625 --> 00:06:06,985 You're the only who knows, 95 00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:09,330 so if you could just tell her I miss her? 96 00:06:10,503 --> 00:06:11,829 - Please? - Okay. 97 00:06:12,887 --> 00:06:14,106 How's she doing? 98 00:06:14,226 --> 00:06:16,378 She thinks she's better than she is. 99 00:06:17,048 --> 00:06:18,521 Yeah? Is she coming home soon? 100 00:06:18,641 --> 00:06:20,928 No, two weeks. There's no infection. 101 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,085 Infection's a killer with this type of wound. 102 00:06:23,205 --> 00:06:24,470 She can't get an infection. 103 00:06:24,630 --> 00:06:26,341 She's pretty alert, though? 104 00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:28,663 She's Lucy. she's very alert. 105 00:06:31,785 --> 00:06:32,785 All right. 106 00:06:36,017 --> 00:06:37,050 Spiller? 107 00:06:38,060 --> 00:06:39,526 Animal therapy. Hug a pet. 108 00:06:40,538 --> 00:06:41,865 Is that a bearded collie? 109 00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,656 It sure is. Would you like to say hello? 110 00:06:43,816 --> 00:06:45,222 Yeah. Hi. 111 00:06:46,068 --> 00:06:47,534 - What's his name? - It's Bugsy. 112 00:06:47,694 --> 00:06:49,119 Hi, Bugsy. Hi, baby. 113 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:51,664 So how'd you know? Nobody ever guesses the breed. 114 00:06:51,824 --> 00:06:54,083 Because I used to have one when I was in high school. 115 00:06:54,243 --> 00:06:57,192 - Best dog I ever had. - Spiller. Are you Lucy Spiller? 116 00:06:57,312 --> 00:06:58,045 I am. 117 00:06:58,376 --> 00:06:59,376 Oh, my god. 118 00:07:00,223 --> 00:07:02,321 What a... just a terrible story. 119 00:07:02,441 --> 00:07:05,088 - You should see the other guy. - Man, she just... 120 00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:06,518 went crazy, huh? 121 00:07:08,309 --> 00:07:09,306 I guess so. 122 00:07:09,466 --> 00:07:12,017 Is it just because you wrote that article about her? 123 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,311 The dog looks pretty thirsty. 124 00:07:14,471 --> 00:07:15,817 No, she's fine. 125 00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:19,756 That's pretty good. 126 00:07:19,876 --> 00:07:22,497 You're the only reporter who's made it into the room. 127 00:07:22,617 --> 00:07:23,779 - No. - Miles, 128 00:07:23,939 --> 00:07:25,668 let's give the police department a call. 129 00:07:25,788 --> 00:07:28,284 - Or I could deal with him. - No. look, you're right. 130 00:07:28,444 --> 00:07:29,989 But I'm not a tabloid reporter. 131 00:07:30,109 --> 00:07:32,320 I work for the L.A. Weekly. My name is Farber Kaufman. 132 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:33,717 I'm a freelancer, okay? 133 00:07:33,837 --> 00:07:36,882 I just graduated from Columbia journalism four months ago. 134 00:07:37,002 --> 00:07:38,002 Please. 135 00:07:38,745 --> 00:07:40,602 Why would the pretentious snobs who read the weekly care 136 00:07:40,722 --> 00:07:42,006 what goes on in a tabloid? 137 00:07:42,166 --> 00:07:44,820 I pitched it as this kind of cultural endgame story. 138 00:07:44,940 --> 00:07:46,819 Tabloid culture killed Julia Mallory, 139 00:07:46,939 --> 00:07:49,256 But not before she tried to kill the tabloid queen. 140 00:07:49,376 --> 00:07:52,388 - You know, that sort of thing. - First of all, yawn. 141 00:07:52,508 --> 00:07:56,508 And the murder attempt, it seemed personal, almost sexual. 142 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,864 Why did she go to your house, get inside, 143 00:07:59,298 --> 00:08:01,128 and stab you repeatedly? 144 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:03,193 I mean, that's the kind of violent action 145 00:08:03,313 --> 00:08:05,404 that one takes against their intimate. 146 00:08:06,310 --> 00:08:08,447 That's interesting if that were true. 147 00:08:09,004 --> 00:08:12,168 But crazy people imagine they know you better than they do. 148 00:08:12,609 --> 00:08:13,412 Kaufman. 149 00:08:13,572 --> 00:08:16,623 You're the one who wrote the piece on the Russian mafia last month. 150 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:19,201 That was good. 151 00:08:20,047 --> 00:08:23,652 What do you say I triple whatever you're making and put you on staff? 152 00:08:23,772 --> 00:08:27,092 You want me to dig through Lindsay Lohan's garbage for a living? 153 00:08:27,252 --> 00:08:28,675 Come on, give it a shot. 154 00:08:28,795 --> 00:08:30,715 If you don't like it, walk away. 155 00:08:31,055 --> 00:08:33,497 Or Miles can give you a lift to booking. 156 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:46,066 You're getting so big, buddy, 157 00:08:46,186 --> 00:08:49,274 There's hardly room for both of us in the bed anymore. 158 00:08:50,374 --> 00:08:52,072 Huh? Is there? 159 00:09:20,263 --> 00:09:22,482 You know what normal means, Don? 160 00:09:23,752 --> 00:09:26,124 It means your cat doesn't talk to you. 161 00:09:28,009 --> 00:09:29,530 I guess you're right, but... 162 00:09:30,749 --> 00:09:31,989 Good-bye, Don. 163 00:09:43,186 --> 00:09:44,484 Good-bye, buddy. 164 00:10:02,806 --> 00:10:04,982 - You just get bigger. - I feel like shit. 165 00:10:05,142 --> 00:10:06,525 Did you give barrow the changes? 166 00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:09,435 - Could I have your pudding? - No, honey, I love the pudding. 167 00:10:09,555 --> 00:10:10,965 You can have the applesauce. 168 00:10:11,085 --> 00:10:12,406 Let me see the sales numbers. 169 00:10:12,566 --> 00:10:14,756 I told Barrow he should bring these over himself. 170 00:10:14,876 --> 00:10:16,535 No one wanted to tell you. 171 00:10:18,713 --> 00:10:19,941 What's Icon? 172 00:10:20,061 --> 00:10:21,194 We probably should've lied. 173 00:10:21,314 --> 00:10:23,459 - What is Icon magazine? - You need to rest, Lucy. 174 00:10:23,619 --> 00:10:25,878 No, what the hell is Icon magazine? 175 00:10:28,457 --> 00:10:29,631 Is that the cover? 176 00:10:29,791 --> 00:10:31,300 I don't think Barrow really incorporated... 177 00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:33,093 Please, give it to me. 178 00:10:35,909 --> 00:10:37,431 - Give it to me. - No! 179 00:10:37,591 --> 00:10:39,266 Lucy, you shouldn't. She shouldn't. 180 00:10:39,426 --> 00:10:41,518 You shouldn't be doing this, trying to run a magazine 181 00:10:41,678 --> 00:10:43,729 out of a hospital bedroom, you know? 182 00:10:44,084 --> 00:10:45,314 You almost died! 183 00:10:45,474 --> 00:10:47,941 And they said that I should be prepared for the worst. 184 00:10:48,101 --> 00:10:50,068 You know, she could die, your friend could die. 185 00:10:50,498 --> 00:10:53,719 Or slip into a permanent persistent vegetative state, 186 00:10:53,839 --> 00:10:56,112 and then eventually you would have to pull the plug 187 00:10:56,232 --> 00:10:58,577 because there's no point in going on when people... 188 00:10:58,917 --> 00:10:59,617 Don. 189 00:11:04,438 --> 00:11:06,500 Here. Let me have it. 190 00:11:07,341 --> 00:11:08,821 It's okay. 191 00:11:09,974 --> 00:11:11,489 It's okay. 192 00:11:12,290 --> 00:11:13,926 - I'm okay. - I'm sorry. 193 00:11:14,950 --> 00:11:15,761 I'm sorry. 194 00:11:20,898 --> 00:11:23,044 - You can have my pudding. - Thanks. 195 00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:26,832 Thank you. 196 00:11:36,226 --> 00:11:39,300 You're kidding, right. You've got to be kidding me. 197 00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:40,661 Oh, Christ! 198 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,948 My frickin'water broke. 199 00:11:44,409 --> 00:11:45,290 Great. 200 00:11:45,826 --> 00:11:47,292 Wipe it up with that. 201 00:11:48,028 --> 00:11:50,033 I just don't know what they were thinking. 202 00:11:50,153 --> 00:11:51,651 Miss Spiller? Miss Spiller? 203 00:11:51,771 --> 00:11:53,677 First of all, you should be in a wheelchair. 204 00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,289 You should be in this hospital for at least another week. 205 00:11:56,409 --> 00:11:58,058 This is not just hospital rules. 206 00:11:58,178 --> 00:11:59,805 If you walk out, you risk infection... 207 00:11:59,965 --> 00:12:03,308 If I can survive whatever's lurking in Don's car, I can survive anything. 208 00:12:14,148 --> 00:12:16,518 Hello, everyone. Vacation's over. 209 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:29,501 Hey, Brent. 210 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,213 - You're... - Alive. 211 00:12:33,373 --> 00:12:35,057 Well, yeah. 212 00:12:36,068 --> 00:12:38,309 I thought you were out for another couple of weeks. 213 00:12:38,429 --> 00:12:40,227 - Are you back for good? - Looks like it. 214 00:12:40,347 --> 00:12:41,479 Oh, thank God. 215 00:12:43,443 --> 00:12:46,426 I humbly relinquish my throne. 216 00:12:47,013 --> 00:12:48,967 I would like to say, everybody, 217 00:12:49,865 --> 00:12:53,066 This has been the most humbling experience of my life. 218 00:12:53,618 --> 00:12:54,818 - Me, too. - Really? 219 00:12:54,978 --> 00:12:56,612 More than that whole underage sex thing? 220 00:12:56,772 --> 00:12:57,863 - Well... - Yeah. 221 00:12:58,482 --> 00:13:00,317 We'll save the tears and the group hugs 222 00:13:00,437 --> 00:13:02,492 for later. Now, we have a magazine to rescue. 223 00:13:02,653 --> 00:13:05,332 And this is Farber Kaufman, he's a staff reporter 224 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,706 Who will be gunning for all of your jobs. 225 00:13:08,457 --> 00:13:09,709 I mean, really? 226 00:13:10,551 --> 00:13:12,563 That's what you came up with? After my notes. 227 00:13:12,683 --> 00:13:15,271 And after the last two Julia Mallory covers tanked? 228 00:13:15,391 --> 00:13:17,119 Well, they didn't tank. 229 00:13:17,239 --> 00:13:18,911 - They got beat. - Yeah, here. 230 00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:20,348 Let me see it. 231 00:13:20,828 --> 00:13:24,077 Well, they've just ripped off our design And did a better cover. 232 00:13:24,197 --> 00:13:25,623 Look at it. It's great. 233 00:13:25,743 --> 00:13:28,818 They found a publicity shot of julia mallory holding a knife. 234 00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:30,812 Where the hell was my photo department? 235 00:13:32,570 --> 00:13:33,815 This is pathetic. 236 00:13:33,976 --> 00:13:35,859 This story just dropped in our laps... 237 00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:37,110 in my gut... 238 00:13:37,271 --> 00:13:38,842 and this is the best... 239 00:13:39,583 --> 00:13:41,020 the best you can do? 240 00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:45,826 Okay, we need to move on. 241 00:13:45,987 --> 00:13:47,162 Is that clear? 242 00:13:47,322 --> 00:13:50,462 We need to find a new story where we define the curve. 243 00:13:50,951 --> 00:13:52,626 Hello. Is this thing on? 244 00:13:53,954 --> 00:13:54,753 Willa? 245 00:13:55,767 --> 00:13:57,385 Oh, God. Um, well, 246 00:13:57,667 --> 00:14:00,570 we could do a Julia Mallory cover with... 247 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:02,275 with... 248 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:04,629 a reenactment. 249 00:14:04,749 --> 00:14:06,765 You know, we could do it with photos. 250 00:14:07,634 --> 00:14:09,643 It's so much worse than I thought. 251 00:14:09,804 --> 00:14:12,754 Lucy, should I just be following you... 252 00:14:12,874 --> 00:14:14,934 That one's yours. Excuse me. that is my desk. 253 00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:15,921 I know. 254 00:14:19,177 --> 00:14:20,661 Oh. Well. 255 00:14:20,781 --> 00:14:22,155 This is bullshit, 256 00:14:22,316 --> 00:14:26,243 bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. 257 00:14:26,937 --> 00:14:28,701 Has Martina Linn had her baby yet? 258 00:14:28,821 --> 00:14:30,602 No, still in the hospital on bed rest. 259 00:14:30,722 --> 00:14:33,755 Why is she on bed rest? To try to keep her away from the mai tais? 260 00:14:34,348 --> 00:14:36,712 It's true. God does write the best soap operas. 261 00:14:36,872 --> 00:14:38,187 Farber, you know this story? 262 00:14:38,307 --> 00:14:39,973 - Yeah. A little. - Catch him up. 263 00:14:40,093 --> 00:14:41,499 All righty, then. 264 00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:42,822 Chapter 1: 265 00:14:43,295 --> 00:14:46,388 Cheap gold digger Martina Linn, stripper slash model, 266 00:14:46,549 --> 00:14:49,082 Marries 68-year-old Ukrainian oil tycoon. 267 00:14:49,202 --> 00:14:50,859 He gets poisoned by the russian mob... 268 00:14:50,979 --> 00:14:52,937 The prince dies, the princess cries, 269 00:14:53,057 --> 00:14:57,051 - and she inherits a lot of money. - Right. exactly. So chapter 2: 270 00:14:57,171 --> 00:14:59,347 His mob buddies say that it's their money, 271 00:14:59,467 --> 00:15:01,790 so she hires Keith Straub, sleazy lawyer guy, 272 00:15:01,910 --> 00:15:05,157 who says he can get the money back from the Russians without her killed. 273 00:15:05,318 --> 00:15:08,416 - Let me guess. They fall in love. - Yeah. He's having a kid with her. 274 00:15:08,536 --> 00:15:10,661 So he makes sure he's tied to her 300 mill. 275 00:15:10,865 --> 00:15:13,180 Everyone's gonna cover this as gold digger makes good. 276 00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:15,091 But she is more than that. 277 00:15:15,291 --> 00:15:18,245 When the nuclear blast hits, it's just gonna be her and the cockroaches. 278 00:15:18,365 --> 00:15:20,015 Right. so chapter 3 is the baby. 279 00:15:20,135 --> 00:15:23,057 Now, when this baby drops, you better own this story. 280 00:15:25,744 --> 00:15:28,555 And have my office painted. I've seen enough red. 281 00:15:30,675 --> 00:15:32,517 Willa, you have anything yet? 282 00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:34,323 Since three minutes ago? 283 00:15:34,443 --> 00:15:36,746 Go talk to her. She's never met a reporter she didn't like. 284 00:15:36,866 --> 00:15:38,626 Okay. oh, um, Lucy? - What? 285 00:15:38,848 --> 00:15:41,613 - I just wanted to tell you something... - What? 286 00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:44,988 When I first started working here, I thought that I could do your job, 287 00:15:45,149 --> 00:15:47,157 That I could just sort of be you. 288 00:15:47,318 --> 00:15:49,383 You know? But, when you were in the hospital, 289 00:15:49,503 --> 00:15:51,797 I had a chance to take on as much of the responsibility 290 00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:53,896 for this magazine as I ever dreamed, 291 00:15:54,016 --> 00:15:55,493 - and... - And what? 292 00:15:55,951 --> 00:15:57,584 Well, I just... I couldn't do it. 293 00:15:57,744 --> 00:16:00,590 I mean, I can dress like you, I can act like you, 294 00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:04,660 But it's gonna take a long time before I can run a magazine like you. 295 00:16:06,696 --> 00:16:07,773 That's sweet. 296 00:16:08,597 --> 00:16:10,128 Did you rehearse that? 297 00:16:11,228 --> 00:16:11,998 Yeah. 298 00:16:16,271 --> 00:16:18,063 - Hey, Don. - Hey, Lucy. 299 00:16:18,224 --> 00:16:20,779 - Are you done yet? - No, I'm still in Dr. Shalba's office. 300 00:16:20,899 --> 00:16:23,020 - Okay, I'll be right there. - No. 301 00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:24,797 You don't have to. I'm okay. 302 00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,257 Don, I'm on my way. 303 00:16:26,689 --> 00:16:28,349 - I'm... I'm good. - All right. Bye. 304 00:16:28,469 --> 00:16:29,366 Bye. 305 00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:31,743 Oh. Willa. 306 00:16:33,188 --> 00:16:35,903 Hi. Keith Straub. How are you? Good to see you. 307 00:16:36,249 --> 00:16:38,449 - This is Chad. - I'm the son that doesn't matter. 308 00:16:38,569 --> 00:16:40,508 - Okay. kids, huh? - Yeah. 309 00:16:40,628 --> 00:16:42,504 And this, of course, 310 00:16:42,665 --> 00:16:46,174 - is the stunning Martina Linn. - Shut up, Keith. I look like a whale. 311 00:16:47,502 --> 00:16:49,261 I can't wait for my C-section. 312 00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:51,893 So nice to meet you all. 313 00:16:52,013 --> 00:16:54,224 Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me. 314 00:16:54,545 --> 00:16:56,261 Lucy wanted to be here in person, 315 00:16:56,381 --> 00:16:58,666 but she's just out of the hospital herself, so... 316 00:16:58,786 --> 00:17:01,992 No problem, sweetie. We're thrilled you're interested in the baby pictures. 317 00:17:02,112 --> 00:17:04,734 All the magazines are interested. The more, the merrier. 318 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:07,764 Well, Lucy wants to do a cover. 319 00:17:08,523 --> 00:17:10,108 A whole issue, really, 320 00:17:10,228 --> 00:17:12,701 about how love triumphs over tragedy and adversity. 321 00:17:12,862 --> 00:17:13,910 That's sweet. 322 00:17:14,071 --> 00:17:14,774 Yeah. 323 00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:17,664 Are there any wedding bells in your future? 324 00:17:17,825 --> 00:17:19,466 Oh-ho. no, no, no, no. 325 00:17:19,586 --> 00:17:23,080 I've been married twice before, And both times it was a disaster. 326 00:17:23,404 --> 00:17:26,172 I love Keith way too much to put that curse on him. 327 00:17:26,642 --> 00:17:29,718 This baby is our bond of love. You can quote us on that. 328 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:33,759 Do you know he got me my inheritance without me ending up in the dumpster? 329 00:17:33,879 --> 00:17:36,224 - Wow. - He is my savior and my true love. 330 00:17:36,385 --> 00:17:37,737 That's another good quote. 331 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:40,749 Speaking of the story, let's get back to the baby pictures. So, 332 00:17:40,869 --> 00:17:42,478 we're at 750 333 00:17:42,598 --> 00:17:44,431 for the exclusive set right now. 334 00:17:44,551 --> 00:17:46,985 Wow. that's pretty high. 335 00:17:47,145 --> 00:17:49,952 - No shit. - Chaddy, would you go get me a soda? 336 00:17:51,642 --> 00:17:52,574 Yes, mama. 337 00:17:52,860 --> 00:17:55,282 Right away, mama. Anything for you, mama. 338 00:17:55,676 --> 00:17:58,374 It was really nice to meet you, Chad. 339 00:17:59,103 --> 00:18:01,800 Oh. yeah. You, too. Yeah. 340 00:18:02,297 --> 00:18:04,794 - Hi, Don. - Hi, Dr. Shalba. 341 00:18:04,954 --> 00:18:08,340 - How are you feeling today, Don? - Weird. 342 00:18:08,789 --> 00:18:09,952 Weird how? 343 00:18:11,540 --> 00:18:13,650 Well, I... I say weird 344 00:18:13,770 --> 00:18:16,385 because I'm starting to feel normal 345 00:18:16,690 --> 00:18:20,081 and I haven't felt normal for a long time, 346 00:18:21,143 --> 00:18:22,539 and it feels weird. 347 00:18:22,942 --> 00:18:25,912 Well, we'll keep an eye on those feelings of normalcy. 348 00:18:26,032 --> 00:18:28,708 - They can be pretty scary, huh? - Yeah. 349 00:18:28,979 --> 00:18:31,195 Schizophrenia serves a purpose 350 00:18:31,357 --> 00:18:32,989 for people who suffer from it. 351 00:18:33,270 --> 00:18:36,495 The hallucinations, the flights of psychosis actually help 352 00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:39,120 lessen the pain and intensity 353 00:18:39,281 --> 00:18:40,817 of everyday experience. 354 00:18:40,937 --> 00:18:42,727 - Do you follow? - I do. 355 00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:45,440 But I think it's great that we're trying this. 356 00:18:53,404 --> 00:18:54,217 Okay. 357 00:18:57,132 --> 00:18:59,180 I'm going to give you the shot now, all right? 358 00:19:02,095 --> 00:19:06,022 And we'll make sure your "normal" doesn't get too weird. 359 00:19:06,574 --> 00:19:08,229 - Dr. Shalba? - Yes, Don. 360 00:19:08,349 --> 00:19:09,909 Those african masks, 361 00:19:10,478 --> 00:19:12,418 they never really spoke, did they? 362 00:19:12,538 --> 00:19:14,119 No, Don, they never spoke. 363 00:19:14,439 --> 00:19:16,449 I'll see you in a couple of weeks, okay? 364 00:19:33,376 --> 00:19:36,295 Hey, come here! You ungrateful bitch! 365 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:37,595 Holy shit. 366 00:19:37,878 --> 00:19:39,597 Is this the thanks that I get? 367 00:19:39,758 --> 00:19:41,431 - Don, is that Sharlee Cates? - Who? 368 00:19:41,551 --> 00:19:44,300 Sharlee Cates. Get your camera out. 369 00:19:44,420 --> 00:19:46,578 - Hurry. - Okay, I'm hurrying. 370 00:19:46,698 --> 00:19:48,815 You gotta get this shot. What's on her face? 371 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,526 - What'd she have to do there? - No. No. 372 00:19:51,687 --> 00:19:52,986 - No good. - No good? 373 00:19:53,147 --> 00:19:54,132 I'm sorry. 374 00:19:58,651 --> 00:20:00,577 Sharlee Cates would be a great get now. 375 00:20:00,738 --> 00:20:02,120 Please, Lucy, Lucy. 376 00:20:09,287 --> 00:20:10,295 Lucy, please. 377 00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:14,758 Get it, Don! 378 00:20:14,918 --> 00:20:17,427 What are you doing? I'll kill you! 379 00:20:17,879 --> 00:20:19,137 Friggin'move! 380 00:20:20,215 --> 00:20:22,348 Get away! Move! 381 00:20:22,592 --> 00:20:25,018 You friggin' paparazzi piece of shit! 382 00:20:25,303 --> 00:20:26,894 I'll hit you! move! 383 00:20:30,289 --> 00:20:31,941 Piece of shit! 384 00:20:35,385 --> 00:20:36,446 You're crazy. 385 00:20:40,610 --> 00:20:41,534 Oh, shit. 386 00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:44,329 - I popped a staple. - No. 387 00:20:44,490 --> 00:20:47,165 It's okay. That was great. 388 00:20:49,698 --> 00:20:51,628 I'm gonna say another week of bed rest at the very minimum. 389 00:20:51,788 --> 00:20:52,962 - All right. - Doctor, 390 00:20:53,308 --> 00:20:55,711 Carla is freaking in radiology. You need to get up there. 391 00:20:55,890 --> 00:20:57,388 Why? What is Carla's problem? 392 00:20:57,522 --> 00:21:00,423 All I know is that she is shouting your name like she was on fire. 393 00:21:00,583 --> 00:21:02,220 You want to finish dressing this? 394 00:21:07,112 --> 00:21:08,886 You're the magazine lady, Lucy Spiller? 395 00:21:09,050 --> 00:21:09,831 I am. 396 00:21:10,706 --> 00:21:12,637 You guys buy stories, right? 397 00:21:12,797 --> 00:21:15,216 - Depends. - Well, nobody's got this one. 398 00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:18,295 Martina Linn's son Chad is in the hospital. 399 00:21:18,571 --> 00:21:19,721 How am I doing? 400 00:21:20,249 --> 00:21:21,607 Don? You got cash? 401 00:21:21,869 --> 00:21:23,543 Underpants. 402 00:21:23,703 --> 00:21:24,675 Go on. 403 00:21:24,821 --> 00:21:27,985 My friend at Saint Edmonds said it was a massive overdose. 404 00:21:28,145 --> 00:21:30,381 - Dead? - Coma. 405 00:21:30,541 --> 00:21:32,826 She's a tragedy magnet, that one. 406 00:21:35,264 --> 00:21:36,246 Chapter 3. 407 00:21:42,183 --> 00:21:43,250 It's Chad Linn. 408 00:21:43,381 --> 00:21:45,368 Tell Lucy Spiller I got the real story for her... 409 00:21:45,495 --> 00:21:48,376 About the old man, murder, sex, betrayal, everything. 410 00:21:48,536 --> 00:21:49,958 But I wanna get paid good. 411 00:21:50,118 --> 00:21:52,049 - Hit me back, blondie. - When did this come in? 412 00:21:52,224 --> 00:21:53,758 About an hour before they said he od'd. 413 00:21:53,918 --> 00:21:56,794 - I thought he was clean. - Yeah, apparently not so much. 414 00:21:56,954 --> 00:21:59,329 What is this real story he's talking about? 415 00:21:59,489 --> 00:22:01,699 Do I need to call this into the LAPD? 416 00:22:01,859 --> 00:22:04,006 So they can screw it up? No. 417 00:22:04,166 --> 00:22:07,097 Don's on the hospital. Let's see what happens. 418 00:22:07,247 --> 00:22:08,889 All right, I gave the foreigners 500 bucks 419 00:22:09,016 --> 00:22:10,812 so that should keep everybody out while I talk to Martina. 420 00:22:10,980 --> 00:22:12,683 - Give her a grand. - What for? 421 00:22:12,843 --> 00:22:15,247 Cause we need her. Tell her it's a down payment. 422 00:22:15,407 --> 00:22:17,974 - All right. - Bob Woodward. 423 00:22:18,106 --> 00:22:20,375 See what you can find out about Sharlee Cates and this broad. 424 00:22:20,538 --> 00:22:21,963 - These are great. - Thank you. 425 00:22:22,123 --> 00:22:25,233 I got the pictures of the kid in a coma. 426 00:22:25,393 --> 00:22:29,059 And I got a copy of his medical chart. 427 00:22:29,219 --> 00:22:31,899 Said he od'd on methadone. 428 00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:33,147 Methadone? 429 00:22:34,045 --> 00:22:37,969 What addict accidentally overdoses on methadone? 430 00:22:38,129 --> 00:22:39,975 They're calling it a suicide. 431 00:22:42,860 --> 00:22:44,403 Something's not right. 432 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,439 You don't call wanting a payday when you 433 00:22:48,599 --> 00:22:50,651 are planning to kill yourself. 434 00:22:52,364 --> 00:22:54,823 - Ooh, easy. - It's okay. 435 00:23:02,015 --> 00:23:04,345 I guess somebody, you know, 436 00:23:04,505 --> 00:23:08,200 knew he would talk and messed with his dosage. 437 00:23:09,677 --> 00:23:11,455 Looks like we got chapter 4. 438 00:23:12,158 --> 00:23:15,020 It's great, Don. You feeling good? 439 00:23:17,607 --> 00:23:18,342 No. 440 00:23:18,979 --> 00:23:21,020 But I'm feeling normal. 441 00:23:26,110 --> 00:23:27,733 Willa. Hi. Wake up. 442 00:23:28,097 --> 00:23:31,432 I need you to get every bit of audio you can find on Chad Linn. 443 00:23:31,592 --> 00:23:33,468 Get our web guy to help you out. 444 00:23:33,628 --> 00:23:35,616 Okay. I need it by tomorrow. Thanks. 445 00:23:44,204 --> 00:23:45,380 You need to rest. 446 00:23:58,515 --> 00:23:59,821 - Getting it done? - Ooh! 447 00:23:59,981 --> 00:24:01,363 Oh, yeah. Uhm... 448 00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:03,251 Yeah, we're getting there slowly. 449 00:24:03,411 --> 00:24:05,412 Young Chad wasn't the most articulate guy in town. 450 00:24:05,572 --> 00:24:07,541 - Neither is the mom. - Oh, she had her baby. 451 00:24:07,701 --> 00:24:09,991 - Really? - Yeah. 8 pounds, 11 ounces. 452 00:24:10,151 --> 00:24:12,027 Baby Lindee. C-section. 453 00:24:12,366 --> 00:24:14,413 If it takes after the mom, 4 of the 8 pounds are tits. 454 00:24:14,777 --> 00:24:15,899 Is she photo-friendly? 455 00:24:16,059 --> 00:24:17,723 Yeah. Total gerber baby, apparently. 456 00:24:17,883 --> 00:24:21,203 Oh, great. All right, tell photo to go up to 850. 457 00:24:21,498 --> 00:24:22,439 Oh, Mcpherson, 458 00:24:22,716 --> 00:24:24,533 I want you to pay that nurse another 5 grand, 459 00:24:24,693 --> 00:24:28,422 get something from the baby. I want a diaper, a hair, an ear. 460 00:24:28,582 --> 00:24:29,856 - Take it to gateway labs. - Okay. 461 00:24:30,016 --> 00:24:31,755 Oh, um, uh, Lucy, there's a guy... 462 00:24:32,017 --> 00:24:33,572 Hello. Hi, miss Spiller. 463 00:24:33,732 --> 00:24:35,214 It's great to meet you. 464 00:24:35,374 --> 00:24:36,814 I was sent over by media helpers. 465 00:24:36,974 --> 00:24:38,006 I think claudia at HR 466 00:24:38,134 --> 00:24:39,977 - spoke to you about the assistant job. - Oh, right. Yeah. 467 00:24:40,131 --> 00:24:41,640 - Yes. Oh. - Let me have your resume. 468 00:24:41,902 --> 00:24:42,925 Okay. There you go. 469 00:24:45,487 --> 00:24:47,905 Okay. Good. 470 00:24:48,530 --> 00:24:50,237 - You went to college. - Yes. 471 00:24:50,397 --> 00:24:52,312 You're a big guy. I like that. 472 00:24:52,472 --> 00:24:54,930 - Makes me feel safe. - Oh, great. that's great. 473 00:24:55,090 --> 00:24:57,372 Yeah, listen... I'm sorry to hear about your recent troubles. 474 00:24:57,584 --> 00:25:00,742 If there's anything that I can do to make things easier around here... 475 00:25:01,004 --> 00:25:02,420 You know I'm a crazy bitch, right? 476 00:25:02,799 --> 00:25:04,994 Uh, yes, I have heard that you can be... 477 00:25:05,154 --> 00:25:07,373 That it can be a bit of a challenge, 478 00:25:07,533 --> 00:25:09,448 but I'm certainly ready to meet that challenge... 479 00:25:09,594 --> 00:25:10,886 Okay. That's fantastic. Here. 480 00:25:11,020 --> 00:25:13,081 - You can start right now. - Fantastic. Yes, great. 481 00:25:13,241 --> 00:25:15,140 Thank you. I wasn't really planning... but yes... 482 00:25:15,392 --> 00:25:17,948 - Thank you. - Wait, your name is Kenny? 483 00:25:18,108 --> 00:25:19,344 Yes. Is that a problem? 484 00:25:19,606 --> 00:25:20,687 Well, it was for the last guy. 485 00:25:20,963 --> 00:25:23,640 - What happened to the last guy? - He got shot in the head. 486 00:25:26,355 --> 00:25:28,603 Okay. Ah... 487 00:25:29,814 --> 00:25:30,814 - Harsh. - What? 488 00:25:31,076 --> 00:25:33,275 Harsh. I know, I know. Harsh. 489 00:25:33,537 --> 00:25:36,261 - What are you doing? - I'm gonna leave. I just need a second. 490 00:25:36,421 --> 00:25:37,946 I just need a second. Harsh. 491 00:25:38,231 --> 00:25:40,574 I know, I know, I know. Harsh. 492 00:25:41,617 --> 00:25:42,447 Okay. 493 00:25:43,508 --> 00:25:46,163 Okay, I'm good. Uhm, I'm sorry. 494 00:25:46,425 --> 00:25:48,749 I just... I have this condition and, uhm... 495 00:25:48,961 --> 00:25:51,341 I don't want to bore you with it, but this is the only thing that helps. 496 00:25:51,463 --> 00:25:53,059 It's self-soothing. 497 00:25:53,219 --> 00:25:55,718 Otherwise, I faint. So I'm gonna go. 498 00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:57,998 - thank you so much for your time. - I think you should stay. 499 00:25:58,158 --> 00:26:01,362 - this could be fun. - Oh, excellent. 500 00:26:01,486 --> 00:26:03,871 Yes. Yes. I think that it could be fun. 501 00:26:04,031 --> 00:26:06,689 - And really, when you think about it... - But you gotta minimize the chatter. 502 00:26:06,850 --> 00:26:09,755 Right. I'm sorry. I get nervous. Uhm, that's... 503 00:26:09,915 --> 00:26:11,146 Oh, okay. Thank you. 504 00:26:11,415 --> 00:26:13,315 Okay. Oh, watch out for anthrax. 505 00:26:17,678 --> 00:26:18,735 Oh. Harsh. 506 00:26:23,623 --> 00:26:26,684 Oh, Lucy, so the lady Sharlee Cates was chasing 507 00:26:26,807 --> 00:26:30,085 was the mother of her assistant Joanne Wentzel. 508 00:26:30,245 --> 00:26:31,887 Ex-assistant, rather. 509 00:26:32,047 --> 00:26:34,930 Sharlee was chasing her ex-assistant's mother? 510 00:26:35,090 --> 00:26:36,499 Apparently. 511 00:26:36,659 --> 00:26:38,385 Well, it's a dazzling story. why? 512 00:26:38,545 --> 00:26:40,986 The mother Joanne works at a dermatologist's office. 513 00:26:41,146 --> 00:26:44,420 - Bad botox? - Sharlee Cates is 22, genius. 514 00:26:47,031 --> 00:26:48,886 So I looked up your information, 515 00:26:49,104 --> 00:26:51,521 Which we're not supposed to do unless we're running a check for employers, 516 00:26:51,646 --> 00:26:53,391 but we do it all the time... 517 00:26:53,551 --> 00:26:56,060 New girlfriends, landlords, whatever. 518 00:26:56,220 --> 00:26:58,935 Plus this thing kicks ass over google, so... 519 00:26:59,095 --> 00:27:01,447 Had a bit of a gambling problem in college, huh? 520 00:27:01,875 --> 00:27:02,982 Yeah, it's a bummer. 521 00:27:03,142 --> 00:27:06,557 Uneven employment history, and you work for Dirtnow. 522 00:27:06,717 --> 00:27:08,341 - Now. - You know, it always terrifies me 523 00:27:08,468 --> 00:27:10,992 how much information potential employers have access to. 524 00:27:11,141 --> 00:27:12,384 I know. It's crazy. 525 00:27:12,521 --> 00:27:13,876 Hey, how's it going, Emily? 526 00:27:14,014 --> 00:27:18,660 Yeah, I like how the piping is fitting with the... the... the slacks. 527 00:27:18,820 --> 00:27:20,549 Is that a... that's a choice. 528 00:27:20,905 --> 00:27:22,163 Five D. O. I, two kids. 529 00:27:22,309 --> 00:27:24,705 Bikes to work. It's a sad story. I don't know how she does it. 530 00:27:24,834 --> 00:27:27,623 Did you find anything out about Heather Wentzel, the assistant? 531 00:27:27,783 --> 00:27:30,999 Uh, why, is this some kind of big Sharlee Cates scandal coming down? 532 00:27:31,161 --> 00:27:32,445 All depends on you, Lars. 533 00:27:32,731 --> 00:27:34,679 Then you're shit out of luck. Heather's Wentzel's boring. 534 00:27:34,839 --> 00:27:38,608 No arrests, and the Sharlee Cates gig was her first assistant job, so... 535 00:27:38,872 --> 00:27:41,082 What about the mom? 536 00:27:41,250 --> 00:27:42,720 Joanne Wentzel. 537 00:27:46,306 --> 00:27:47,784 Yeah. She almost got fired, 538 00:27:48,046 --> 00:27:50,426 because her employer, Alpha Pharmaceuticals, 539 00:27:50,586 --> 00:27:52,523 accused her of stealing quantities 540 00:27:52,703 --> 00:27:54,708 of prescription drugs to sell to her clients. 541 00:27:55,055 --> 00:27:57,695 Turns out they couldn't prove anything cause the file was closed. 542 00:27:57,855 --> 00:28:01,408 But it wasn't closed to us cause the mighty corporation sees all... 543 00:28:02,991 --> 00:28:06,920 I'm starting to see how all this comes together. It's cool. Reporting. 544 00:28:07,182 --> 00:28:08,761 So am I gonna be in Dirtnow? 545 00:28:08,921 --> 00:28:10,474 Well, wouldn't you get fired? 546 00:28:11,148 --> 00:28:12,893 Yeah... I guess. 547 00:28:13,053 --> 00:28:14,978 Can I be an anonymous source? 548 00:28:16,279 --> 00:28:17,454 No problem. 549 00:28:18,004 --> 00:28:20,261 Hey, the mother, Joanne Wentzel, 550 00:28:20,389 --> 00:28:22,769 was Sharlee's dealer, okay? Got her daughter Heather hired 551 00:28:22,923 --> 00:28:24,009 as sharlee's assistant. 552 00:28:24,169 --> 00:28:25,209 But when Joanne gets busted 553 00:28:25,358 --> 00:28:28,366 and stops getting vicodin and oxy for Sharlee, Sharlee freaked, 554 00:28:28,655 --> 00:28:30,251 okay? I'm basically two calls away 555 00:28:30,411 --> 00:28:32,537 from having it locked up and double-sourced. 556 00:28:32,950 --> 00:28:34,671 Wow. Not bad, Woodward. 557 00:28:34,831 --> 00:28:36,175 I know. Right? 558 00:28:36,681 --> 00:28:39,046 So Sharlee Cates is a drug user. Could be. 559 00:28:39,175 --> 00:28:40,379 No, no, no, no. For sure, okay? 560 00:28:40,532 --> 00:28:42,193 I confirmed with Heather, the assistant she fired, 561 00:28:42,343 --> 00:28:45,405 and I got the secondary source. It's gonna pass legal for sure. 562 00:28:45,780 --> 00:28:49,398 All right, well, it's interesting. I'll definitely consider it. Thanks. 563 00:28:49,558 --> 00:28:50,607 That's it? 564 00:28:51,833 --> 00:28:53,695 Your writing could use some work. 565 00:28:53,855 --> 00:28:55,619 Willa, give it a pass. Dirt it up a little. 566 00:28:55,753 --> 00:28:57,187 Uh, do you mean dumb it down? 567 00:28:58,531 --> 00:29:00,290 Okay, let's see. 568 00:29:00,450 --> 00:29:02,828 "She's the apotheosis of bubble gum pop." 569 00:29:02,988 --> 00:29:04,947 You're kidding, right? Any word on Chad Linn? 570 00:29:05,083 --> 00:29:07,015 No. Still coma boy, but 571 00:29:07,175 --> 00:29:08,615 I did get a tape for you. 572 00:29:08,827 --> 00:29:10,294 - Did your nurse come through? - I got a hair. 573 00:29:10,431 --> 00:29:12,193 Great. I want a lab report as soon as possible. 574 00:29:12,317 --> 00:29:13,870 I don't care what it costs. 575 00:29:18,366 --> 00:29:19,876 Chad wants to sell us the story. 576 00:29:20,217 --> 00:29:21,413 He says you tried to kill him. 577 00:29:21,573 --> 00:29:24,363 - Chaddie's awake? - I'm going to make you a deal. 578 00:29:24,523 --> 00:29:26,231 I'll tell your story. 579 00:29:26,354 --> 00:29:28,333 You could use the pages of Dirt to sway the jury. 580 00:29:28,477 --> 00:29:30,099 That's bullshit. I just saw him this morning. 581 00:29:30,249 --> 00:29:32,839 Ted williams' head has a better chance of waking up. 582 00:29:32,999 --> 00:29:33,984 Sorry, baby. 583 00:29:34,126 --> 00:29:38,120 Well, he was up enough to ask the nurse to switch him to a more secure room. 584 00:29:38,266 --> 00:29:39,412 You can ask the ICU. 585 00:29:39,541 --> 00:29:41,273 You're full of shit. 586 00:29:44,412 --> 00:29:45,378 Let's see. 587 00:29:46,249 --> 00:29:47,967 Lucy, it's Chad Linn. 588 00:29:48,123 --> 00:29:50,415 I got a real story, but I want to get paid. 589 00:29:50,579 --> 00:29:51,992 Martina tried to make me die, 590 00:29:52,145 --> 00:29:54,014 just like she poisoned the old man. 591 00:29:54,650 --> 00:29:56,588 What'd you do, load his diet coke with methadone? 592 00:29:57,259 --> 00:29:58,609 Don't say anything. 593 00:29:58,762 --> 00:30:00,782 I don't know why you keep sticking up for her. 594 00:30:01,326 --> 00:30:02,398 She screwed you, too. 595 00:30:02,544 --> 00:30:04,180 Okay, I think it's time you get the hell out of here. 596 00:30:04,548 --> 00:30:05,760 Fine, but if it were me, 597 00:30:05,906 --> 00:30:07,776 and my baby girl was another man's, 598 00:30:07,921 --> 00:30:08,925 I'd want to know. 599 00:30:09,793 --> 00:30:11,699 That's bullshit. Go. 600 00:30:12,107 --> 00:30:15,765 Here you go. This is baby Lindee's dna. 601 00:30:17,807 --> 00:30:20,729 There's a match to a very large Russian family, the Romanovs. 602 00:30:21,257 --> 00:30:23,640 Isn't that the name of your late husband? 603 00:30:24,788 --> 00:30:27,049 Keith, you're not the father. 604 00:30:27,231 --> 00:30:29,864 She's not going to marry you. You're not going to get a dime. 605 00:30:29,997 --> 00:30:31,790 Keith, honey, honestly, I would never ever... 606 00:30:31,945 --> 00:30:34,585 Don't, don't, don't. Do not bullshit me. 607 00:30:35,061 --> 00:30:37,390 So when were you going to get around to killing me? 608 00:30:37,716 --> 00:30:38,915 That's so mean. 609 00:30:39,042 --> 00:30:40,590 Why would you say something so hurtful? 610 00:30:40,796 --> 00:30:43,462 Spare me the theatrics, okay? This isn't one of your soft-porn movies. 611 00:30:43,591 --> 00:30:45,330 You poisoned your husband, you poisoned your child. 612 00:30:45,476 --> 00:30:46,680 It stands to reason that I'm next. 613 00:30:46,921 --> 00:30:49,667 You can't let me live, can you? I know where the bodies are. 614 00:30:52,550 --> 00:30:55,006 Keith, honey, really, it's just our word against hers. 615 00:30:55,126 --> 00:30:57,834 - It don't mean nothing. - What about me, Martina? 616 00:30:58,183 --> 00:31:00,560 - What do I get? - Just... Just anything you want. 617 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,058 Just draw up the papers. I'll sign it. 618 00:31:03,483 --> 00:31:04,561 I love you. 619 00:31:05,639 --> 00:31:07,280 And you still love me. 620 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:19,037 What are you going to do? 621 00:31:19,335 --> 00:31:23,030 I'm going to give away half my money as soon as he gets bored? 622 00:31:23,150 --> 00:31:24,709 Like they all eventually do? 623 00:31:26,350 --> 00:31:27,491 If you say so. 624 00:31:28,399 --> 00:31:30,350 You got no story here, you know? 625 00:31:30,909 --> 00:31:33,134 - Really? How so? - No. 626 00:31:33,420 --> 00:31:35,164 Well, he's not going to talk 627 00:31:35,550 --> 00:31:37,333 because he'd implicate himself. 628 00:31:37,780 --> 00:31:40,721 And even if Chaddie does come out of his coma, 629 00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:42,463 well, he's... 630 00:31:43,059 --> 00:31:45,647 A career addict. Breaks my heart. 631 00:31:46,308 --> 00:31:48,946 With a criminal history? Pssh. 632 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:51,569 He's not a very reliable witness. 633 00:31:52,525 --> 00:31:55,418 Yeah, well, I'm not a D.A. 634 00:31:56,353 --> 00:31:59,327 I'm a reporter. And I'm pretty certain that 635 00:31:59,935 --> 00:32:02,549 I can report your confession in this interview. 636 00:32:03,009 --> 00:32:04,831 Yeah, well, knock yourself out. 637 00:32:05,630 --> 00:32:06,480 Really. 638 00:32:06,679 --> 00:32:08,380 Because I didn't say any of that. 639 00:32:08,881 --> 00:32:10,184 You know Phil Spector? 640 00:32:10,693 --> 00:32:13,014 He killed that woman, shot her dead, 641 00:32:13,134 --> 00:32:14,976 Confessed at the crime scene. 642 00:32:15,096 --> 00:32:16,907 And what happened to him? 643 00:32:18,250 --> 00:32:21,433 And I have more money than him and Robert Blake, 644 00:32:21,695 --> 00:32:23,514 and O.J. combined. 645 00:32:35,337 --> 00:32:37,332 Uh, Ms. Spiller, Sharlee Cates is here. She's... 646 00:32:37,493 --> 00:32:38,288 Move, asswipe. 647 00:32:38,432 --> 00:32:39,728 Harsh. Ugh. 648 00:32:40,962 --> 00:32:43,244 I have a kid and a marriage, you know? 649 00:32:43,364 --> 00:32:44,486 I will sue. 650 00:32:45,082 --> 00:32:47,688 It all went through legal. They're pretty confident. 651 00:32:48,098 --> 00:32:50,683 - But I'm not going to run it. - What? 652 00:32:51,697 --> 00:32:53,641 I want you to meet someone. 653 00:32:54,346 --> 00:32:55,837 This is Don Konkey. 654 00:32:56,622 --> 00:32:57,716 Hi, Sharlee. 655 00:32:58,670 --> 00:33:01,819 - Sounds like Donkey Kong. - Yeah, it's almost an anagram. 656 00:33:02,267 --> 00:33:03,820 Don Konkey, Donkey Kong. 657 00:33:03,940 --> 00:33:06,020 But there's no g in Don Konkey. 658 00:33:06,523 --> 00:33:08,360 Don's going to be your personal photographer. 659 00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:10,213 He'll need unfettered access. 660 00:33:10,620 --> 00:33:12,000 Oh, that means lots. 661 00:33:13,846 --> 00:33:15,388 I really like "love me monday." 662 00:33:17,227 --> 00:33:17,969 Thank you. 663 00:33:18,298 --> 00:33:21,831 I mean, why have one sad career-destroying cover 664 00:33:21,951 --> 00:33:24,204 when we can have 20 happy, productive ones? 665 00:33:45,458 --> 00:33:47,104 I knew Julia Mallory. 666 00:33:48,976 --> 00:33:51,239 Not like best friends, but I knew her. 667 00:33:54,203 --> 00:33:56,199 Doesn't it make you nervous... 668 00:33:58,014 --> 00:34:00,448 To mess around with people's lives like this? 669 00:34:03,149 --> 00:34:05,294 Given everything that's happened. 670 00:34:16,367 --> 00:34:17,076 No. 671 00:34:20,170 --> 00:34:21,096 Well... 672 00:34:24,016 --> 00:34:27,108 My fans don't want to see me as a druggy, so, um... 673 00:34:29,670 --> 00:34:31,584 Give me a call, Donkey Kong. 674 00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:35,546 Oh. I'm sorry. 675 00:34:38,252 --> 00:34:39,784 Yeah, that'll be good. 676 00:34:43,602 --> 00:34:46,416 That's a $12,000 rug. I hope she's worth it. 677 00:34:48,122 --> 00:34:50,999 - Don't sweat it, dude. - Mm, thank you, dude. 678 00:34:52,821 --> 00:34:54,705 You get that that story was just a prop 679 00:34:54,825 --> 00:34:56,963 for Lucy to use with Sharlee and with you? 680 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,150 It still doesn't excuse some of your larger sins 681 00:35:03,270 --> 00:35:05,022 of metaphor and syntax in this piece. 682 00:35:05,359 --> 00:35:06,850 Oh, goody. 683 00:35:06,970 --> 00:35:08,818 Journalism class. Go ahead. 684 00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:12,311 "Last may at the coliseum, Sharlee Cates literally 685 00:35:12,431 --> 00:35:15,962 "ripped the hearts out of the audience with her rendition of'Hey, Jude.'" 686 00:35:16,911 --> 00:35:19,076 Help me out here, Willa. What did she do, exactly? 687 00:35:19,196 --> 00:35:22,331 Did she descend into the crowd while singing 688 00:35:22,451 --> 00:35:25,199 and start tearing out their still-beating hearts like 689 00:35:25,470 --> 00:35:28,613 some kind of mayan priest at a ritual sacrifice? 690 00:35:28,733 --> 00:35:32,040 I mean, I'm assuming you were a journalism major 691 00:35:32,712 --> 00:35:34,459 Or at least an english major. 692 00:35:35,173 --> 00:35:36,463 Jesus christ, what do you do? 693 00:35:36,583 --> 00:35:38,808 Just come to work here and throw out every trace 694 00:35:38,928 --> 00:35:42,323 Of education and... ethics you ever acquired? 695 00:35:46,270 --> 00:35:49,120 You wouldn't happen to talking about yourself, just a... 696 00:35:49,281 --> 00:35:51,045 Just a little bit, would you? 697 00:35:59,079 --> 00:35:59,996 Whatever. 698 00:36:06,254 --> 00:36:09,488 He died a year ago on the night of a blood moon, 699 00:36:10,470 --> 00:36:12,956 also known as a sanguine moon. 700 00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:15,885 That's tonight. 701 00:36:16,651 --> 00:36:18,694 - A year ago. - I remember. 702 00:36:19,728 --> 00:36:21,151 Tristan was special. 703 00:36:21,629 --> 00:36:24,524 There was no way he was going to a pet cemetery. 704 00:36:24,970 --> 00:36:25,793 Ramon... 705 00:36:26,435 --> 00:36:28,825 Caretaker here, he understands that. 706 00:36:29,900 --> 00:36:32,618 And I give him a hundred a month on the side. 707 00:36:35,140 --> 00:36:37,619 I didn't like the way you drove when we were chasing Sharlee. 708 00:36:38,853 --> 00:36:39,779 I'm sorry. 709 00:36:41,212 --> 00:36:43,797 Part of my, uh, being normal. 710 00:36:45,565 --> 00:36:48,069 is risk aversion. I'm developing my risk aversion. 711 00:36:49,945 --> 00:36:51,533 I'm developing my risk. 712 00:36:51,931 --> 00:36:55,070 Yeah, fear is an essential survival tool. 713 00:36:56,240 --> 00:36:58,471 Yeah, but fear can also do you in. 714 00:36:59,164 --> 00:37:00,214 I'm over it. 715 00:37:01,519 --> 00:37:02,710 What happened to you, Lucy? 716 00:37:05,410 --> 00:37:06,712 I was in a coma, 717 00:37:07,478 --> 00:37:10,535 and for a minute I crossed over. 718 00:37:12,095 --> 00:37:13,437 It was so nice. 719 00:37:16,155 --> 00:37:17,401 Why'd you come back? 720 00:37:18,025 --> 00:37:19,274 I don't know. 721 00:37:20,834 --> 00:37:22,069 We'll see. 722 00:37:24,594 --> 00:37:26,820 Don't drive like that when I'm in the car. 723 00:37:27,107 --> 00:37:29,267 - Okay? - Okay. 724 00:37:36,606 --> 00:37:37,911 What happened to you? 725 00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:45,948 Since I've been sick, it's been like looking at one of those 726 00:37:46,068 --> 00:37:47,480 old funhouse mirrors. 727 00:37:50,510 --> 00:37:52,733 And then, one day I turn around 728 00:37:53,328 --> 00:37:55,314 And I see the whole real world. 729 00:37:56,300 --> 00:37:58,250 And my cat stopped talking to me. 730 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:03,236 My walls stopped breathing. 731 00:38:04,173 --> 00:38:06,726 And instead of seeing the moon in my mind, 732 00:38:07,882 --> 00:38:09,145 I'm really here. 733 00:38:11,357 --> 00:38:12,492 I am, right? 734 00:38:16,499 --> 00:38:17,492 We both are. 735 00:38:41,953 --> 00:38:43,000 Pretty, huh? 736 00:38:54,730 --> 00:38:57,212 _/Yellow Sub_ contact@yellowsubteam.com