1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 2 00:00:21,919 --> 00:00:24,807 My whole life I just wanted to be a rapper 3 00:00:25,184 --> 00:00:28,407 Then I grew'd up and the boy became a rapper 4 00:00:28,491 --> 00:00:31,797 And my older sister made me wear the golden wrapper 5 00:00:31,881 --> 00:00:35,188 She said, "Watch out, 'cause you know The hos will trap ya." 6 00:00:35,439 --> 00:00:36,684 Hello there. I'm Dr. Mecklebaum. 7 00:00:36,737 --> 00:00:38,864 - I'm Dave Burd. How are you? - Good. Good to see you. 8 00:00:39,457 --> 00:00:41,592 So, uh... what brings you in today? 9 00:00:41,676 --> 00:00:43,392 So, a few days ago I was shaving, 10 00:00:43,475 --> 00:00:45,778 and I noticed these red bumps on my pubiscus... 11 00:00:45,861 --> 00:00:47,912 - And I just wanted... - Pubiscus? 12 00:00:47,996 --> 00:00:50,089 That's probably not the medical term for it. 13 00:00:50,466 --> 00:00:51,990 Uh, like, where your pubic hair would be 14 00:00:52,014 --> 00:00:53,647 if you didn't shave it all the way. 15 00:00:53,730 --> 00:00:56,409 Oh, copy that. All right. So, well, let's take a look. 16 00:00:56,493 --> 00:00:59,716 Yes, and I know this is gonna sound so absurd, 17 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,432 but before I can just show you my penis, 18 00:01:01,516 --> 00:01:03,794 I do have to kind of explain a few things about it to you. 19 00:01:03,818 --> 00:01:04,864 Okay. 20 00:01:04,948 --> 00:01:08,087 I just have, like, a very bizarre situation down... 21 00:01:08,171 --> 00:01:10,599 okay, when I was born, 22 00:01:10,682 --> 00:01:12,775 I came out of the womb with a tangled urethra, 23 00:01:12,859 --> 00:01:15,538 so immediately they had to go in and do all types of surgery to it. 24 00:01:15,621 --> 00:01:17,714 As a result, there's so much scarring down there. 25 00:01:17,798 --> 00:01:19,137 - Sure. - And then, I mean, 26 00:01:19,221 --> 00:01:20,746 you know how the skin on your testicles 27 00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:22,504 is a different type of skin than the skin on your penis? 28 00:01:22,528 --> 00:01:25,207 It's more... chicken-skinned or ribbed. 29 00:01:25,793 --> 00:01:26,923 Yeah? 30 00:01:27,006 --> 00:01:29,350 So my dick skin is actually made of 31 00:01:29,434 --> 00:01:31,025 that exact same style of ribbing. 32 00:01:31,108 --> 00:01:32,825 All the way up my shaft... ribs. 33 00:01:32,908 --> 00:01:35,043 So my theory is: when they had to replace 34 00:01:35,127 --> 00:01:36,550 the hacked-off dick skin, 35 00:01:36,634 --> 00:01:38,475 they used my testicle skin to replace it. 36 00:01:38,978 --> 00:01:40,987 Which would mean that my dick 37 00:01:41,070 --> 00:01:43,372 is made of balls. 38 00:01:45,256 --> 00:01:47,241 I couldn't be more precious about this information. 39 00:01:47,265 --> 00:01:49,166 My own girlfriend doesn't know anything about this 40 00:01:49,191 --> 00:01:51,325 because I'm so good at controlling the lighting and... 41 00:01:51,409 --> 00:01:52,874 Well, if-if you're comfortable, 42 00:01:52,958 --> 00:01:54,548 I'm-I'm more than happy to take a look. 43 00:01:54,632 --> 00:01:57,687 I had to explain that, 'cause I didn't want you to look at it and be like... 44 00:01:59,069 --> 00:02:00,743 - You know? Yeah. - Yeah. Sure. 45 00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:02,961 Okay. 46 00:02:04,761 --> 00:02:06,059 Yeah. 47 00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:09,700 Those look like razor bumps to me. 48 00:02:09,784 --> 00:02:12,588 Okay. I mean, but can't genital herpes look like razor bumps? 49 00:02:12,672 --> 00:02:14,263 Who's to say that it's razor bumps? 50 00:02:14,388 --> 00:02:16,104 I'm to say. It's my job. 51 00:02:16,397 --> 00:02:18,658 Well, you should know there's a very big disconnect 52 00:02:18,741 --> 00:02:20,499 between the online medical community 53 00:02:20,583 --> 00:02:22,508 and the brick-and-mortar establishments. 54 00:02:22,718 --> 00:02:24,183 You mean... doctors. 55 00:02:24,266 --> 00:02:25,648 While I have you here, real quick, 56 00:02:25,731 --> 00:02:27,716 I know this is a totally different field of medicine. 57 00:02:27,741 --> 00:02:30,210 I have all this acne on my back that came out of nowhere... 58 00:02:30,294 --> 00:02:31,675 - Yeah, not me. - Cystic. 59 00:02:31,759 --> 00:02:33,015 No, it's not me. 60 00:02:33,098 --> 00:02:35,903 I just figured you must know more than, like, the common man. 61 00:02:35,986 --> 00:02:37,786 I could refer you to somebody. 62 00:02:39,586 --> 00:02:40,925 - Not my field. - Thank you. 63 00:02:41,009 --> 00:02:42,324 - You're welcome, Dave. - Hey, where do I pay? 64 00:02:42,349 --> 00:02:44,274 - Hi, I'm Dave - I'm Lil Dicky 65 00:02:44,358 --> 00:02:45,739 - Hi, I'm Dave - Who's Dave? 66 00:02:45,823 --> 00:02:46,995 Hi, I'm Dave. 67 00:02:53,775 --> 00:02:55,031 Oh. 68 00:02:56,245 --> 00:02:57,459 Is this the right room? 69 00:02:57,543 --> 00:02:59,008 Uh, is this Studio A? 70 00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:00,514 The fuck is that smell, man? 71 00:03:01,226 --> 00:03:03,277 Oh, man, this dude always coming in here 72 00:03:03,361 --> 00:03:05,621 - with this tuna fish shit. - Okay, are we leaving? 73 00:03:05,705 --> 00:03:07,337 I'm gonna be right back. 74 00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,932 Why the fuck would you just walk into a session like that? 75 00:03:10,016 --> 00:03:11,833 You said "come anytime," those were your words. 76 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,424 Yeah, come by, kick it in the lounge and, like, 77 00:03:13,448 --> 00:03:15,642 I don't know, meet people, talk to people, make connections. 78 00:03:15,667 --> 00:03:18,136 Don't come into a fucking studio session 79 00:03:18,471 --> 00:03:20,522 with tuna fish. It smells crazy. 80 00:03:20,606 --> 00:03:22,298 Well, forgive me for not knowing this incredibly specific rule. 81 00:03:22,322 --> 00:03:24,122 - That's... - Is that YG? Oh, my God. 82 00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:25,545 Yep, that's YG. They're coming. 83 00:03:25,628 --> 00:03:27,847 Whup their ass when you see 'em, straight like that. 84 00:03:27,931 --> 00:03:29,144 - Yeah. - What's up? 85 00:03:29,228 --> 00:03:31,237 Studio smell like tuna, man. This shit stank. 86 00:03:31,321 --> 00:03:32,828 Fuck going on? 87 00:03:34,042 --> 00:03:35,339 That's a scary group of men. 88 00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:36,780 He had tattoos on the creases of his neck. 89 00:03:36,804 --> 00:03:39,525 I'm so scared. I don't know if I'm supposed to speak 90 00:03:39,609 --> 00:03:41,325 or not speak when I'm spoken to or... 91 00:03:41,408 --> 00:03:43,059 Doesn't sound like a very collaborative setting to me. 92 00:03:43,083 --> 00:03:44,129 Not at all. 93 00:03:44,213 --> 00:03:46,557 Is there any window for you to show them my video? 94 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:50,198 No. These gang members obviously do not like dick jokes. 95 00:03:50,282 --> 00:03:52,542 Know your audience, my dude. I love you like a sister. 96 00:03:52,626 --> 00:03:54,133 I have to leave. 97 00:03:54,844 --> 00:03:56,393 - Text me. - Nope. 98 00:04:07,611 --> 00:04:10,122 My dick sucks, my dick sucks. 99 00:04:12,131 --> 00:04:14,182 Hold up. Hold the fuck up. 100 00:04:14,266 --> 00:04:16,586 Ain't you the YouTube rapper with the small dick and all that? 101 00:04:16,610 --> 00:04:18,093 - I've seen that video. - Did you like it? 102 00:04:18,117 --> 00:04:20,084 Yeah, that shit go hard. 103 00:04:20,168 --> 00:04:22,637 You have no idea how happy this makes me. 104 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,060 Like, I live my entire life 105 00:04:24,144 --> 00:04:27,325 trying to impress people of your... pedigree. 106 00:04:27,953 --> 00:04:29,795 - I'm Dave. - Ha, Dave, you a fool. 107 00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:31,302 I'm Gata, like alligator. 108 00:04:31,385 --> 00:04:33,939 I just rolled this chopstick. You trying to smoke some weed? 109 00:04:34,022 --> 00:04:36,492 Smoke weed? Uh, do I want to smoke wee...? 110 00:04:36,576 --> 00:04:38,292 I don't think... No, no, thank you. 111 00:04:38,375 --> 00:04:40,008 So you a rapper, and you don't blow bud? 112 00:04:40,092 --> 00:04:41,389 I didn't say that, I smoke. 113 00:04:41,473 --> 00:04:43,775 I treat it like a glass of wine at the end of the day. 114 00:04:43,859 --> 00:04:46,328 If I smoked this early, I'd feel like a total waste of life. 115 00:04:47,919 --> 00:04:49,844 But did you see that YG's here? 116 00:04:49,928 --> 00:04:52,900 Yeah, why you think I'm here? My nigga Bino sell him tree all the time. 117 00:04:53,528 --> 00:04:55,453 How would I go about getting a rapper like YG 118 00:04:55,537 --> 00:04:57,127 on one of my songs? Because I feel like, 119 00:04:57,211 --> 00:04:59,387 until I do that, no one's gonna take me seriously. 120 00:04:59,471 --> 00:05:01,331 Everyone's just gonna think I'm a YouTube rapper. 121 00:05:01,355 --> 00:05:03,406 Shit. It's all about the gander. 122 00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:05,206 The gander? 123 00:05:05,289 --> 00:05:06,688 The gander, nigga. You got to wiggle, 124 00:05:06,712 --> 00:05:09,810 set yourself up, make a play. Right now you're in the studio, 125 00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:11,358 all these rappers in here popping, 126 00:05:11,442 --> 00:05:12,841 and you talking about, "Hi, my name is Dave." 127 00:05:12,865 --> 00:05:14,791 Like, what the hell? Like, you should be, like, 128 00:05:14,874 --> 00:05:17,763 "What's up? It's Lil Dicky." Like, own that shit, bro. 129 00:05:17,846 --> 00:05:19,646 I do think it's gonna be the biggest name 130 00:05:19,730 --> 00:05:21,027 in hip-hop, honestly. Lil Dicky. 131 00:05:21,111 --> 00:05:22,576 Ride your own dick, man. 132 00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:25,129 Can we get some food? YG hungry. 133 00:05:25,213 --> 00:05:27,055 Oh. I don't know why you're asking me. 134 00:05:27,138 --> 00:05:28,436 I don't work here. 135 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:30,654 I, uh... I'm Lil Dicky. 136 00:05:30,738 --> 00:05:32,203 - Lil Dicky? - Yes. 137 00:05:32,287 --> 00:05:34,882 Can we get some food? YG hungry. 138 00:05:34,966 --> 00:05:37,537 Okay. I respect you, I just think you're going about it all kind of wrong. 139 00:05:37,561 --> 00:05:40,198 Hey, chill. Bro, there's a store right around the corner. 140 00:05:40,281 --> 00:05:41,663 We gonna bend the block real fast 141 00:05:41,746 --> 00:05:43,002 and get whatever you need. 142 00:05:43,086 --> 00:05:45,262 Come on, man. He look hot. 143 00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:46,578 I hope these are the right snacks, Gata. 144 00:05:46,602 --> 00:05:48,378 Man, if you don't stop tripping, I'm a real nigga. 145 00:05:48,402 --> 00:05:50,763 If I tell you there's cheese on the moon, bring your crackers, man. 146 00:05:50,788 --> 00:05:52,563 You Gucci. You're gonna go in there, show your face, 147 00:05:52,587 --> 00:05:54,848 apply the gander, wiggle up. 148 00:05:54,931 --> 00:05:57,485 How can this possibly get me closer to a YG verse? 149 00:05:57,568 --> 00:05:59,553 Check this out. I used to be in Miami all the time, 150 00:05:59,577 --> 00:06:01,545 at the Hit Factory. It's a studio. 151 00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:03,763 I'm in there with my boys. We chilling with some dudes 152 00:06:03,847 --> 00:06:06,083 from New Orleans. You know how they dress already, right? 153 00:06:06,107 --> 00:06:08,158 - No. - Big T-shirts, baggy jeans. 154 00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:10,169 We're in a studio session and Wayne walk in, bro. 155 00:06:10,251 --> 00:06:12,386 - I'm in there dripping. - Lil Wayne? 156 00:06:12,469 --> 00:06:14,520 Weezy! What other Wayne you know? 157 00:06:14,604 --> 00:06:16,446 - Brady. - I'm in there sauced down. 158 00:06:16,529 --> 00:06:18,957 Skinny jeans, Cali swag, all that... lip ring. 159 00:06:19,041 --> 00:06:21,636 And they on my swag, bro. Wayne like, "What you do?" 160 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,938 And I end up getting three songs off the drip alone. 161 00:06:24,022 --> 00:06:25,696 You have three songs with Lil Wayne? 162 00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:27,538 Yes, that's what I'm trying to tell you. 163 00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:30,552 They're on my laptop. They ain't never came out, but you know how that go. 164 00:06:30,635 --> 00:06:33,481 This is very useful information. If I would've known all this, 165 00:06:33,565 --> 00:06:35,412 I would've certainly dressed differently today. 166 00:06:35,449 --> 00:06:37,960 The swag ain't on you, it's in you. 167 00:06:38,044 --> 00:06:39,760 Like, what is that, peach? 168 00:06:39,844 --> 00:06:41,410 They gonna fuck with that, that's hard body. 169 00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:43,527 You got a lot of heart for wearing that color. 170 00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:44,866 Well... great. 171 00:06:45,076 --> 00:06:46,391 Do I just knock or what? What do you think? 172 00:06:46,415 --> 00:06:48,089 Yeah, just knock in on that shit, man. 173 00:06:50,057 --> 00:06:51,522 I feel like they're not ever gonna... 174 00:06:54,075 --> 00:06:55,791 Why are you wearing your sunglasses inside? 175 00:06:55,875 --> 00:06:57,256 Bro, you know I got to drip, bro. 176 00:06:57,340 --> 00:06:58,739 We're going to the studio right now. 177 00:06:58,763 --> 00:07:00,120 YG, you're about to get a verse, okay? 178 00:07:00,144 --> 00:07:02,111 - Should I walk in? - Man, go in there, man. 179 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,748 Snack time. I... 180 00:07:04,832 --> 00:07:06,255 Okay. 181 00:07:06,339 --> 00:07:07,804 You're welcome. 182 00:07:08,599 --> 00:07:10,441 I feel like that did nothing for my career. 183 00:07:10,525 --> 00:07:12,492 Bro, "snack time"? Did you really just say 184 00:07:12,576 --> 00:07:14,543 that corny-ass shit, bro? What the fuck? 185 00:07:14,627 --> 00:07:17,012 - Give me your phone, man. - My phone? Why? 186 00:07:17,096 --> 00:07:20,235 Listen, if you want to get that verse from YG, bro, 187 00:07:20,319 --> 00:07:22,035 you're gonna have to holler at Nutti, man. 188 00:07:22,119 --> 00:07:23,542 - Who is Nutti? - Nutti. 189 00:07:23,626 --> 00:07:25,300 That's YG manager. I'm the plug, bro. 190 00:07:25,384 --> 00:07:28,234 - I'm putting his number in your phone. - This couldn't be more helpful. 191 00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:30,131 So, what do I do? I text him and say, "Hi, it's Lil Dicky..." 192 00:07:30,155 --> 00:07:32,499 Yeah, he probably gonna want some money for the verse. 193 00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:34,149 Money? Okay. Well, I'll figure that out. 194 00:07:34,174 --> 00:07:35,555 You have to bring that bag. 195 00:07:35,639 --> 00:07:38,150 I just saved mine, too, bro. We got to get up, man. 196 00:07:39,029 --> 00:07:40,888 Let me get you on my Gram, man. If you don't mind. 197 00:07:40,913 --> 00:07:42,730 Yeah. Okay, hold on, let me think for a second. 198 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,136 You ready? Uh... 199 00:07:44,219 --> 00:07:45,977 Early morning studio, LD reporting for... 200 00:07:46,061 --> 00:07:48,363 Nigga, this is just a picture, bro. 201 00:07:52,507 --> 00:07:55,479 Ugh, there's so much lettuce on this. 202 00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:57,865 No, I told them no lettuce. 203 00:07:57,948 --> 00:08:00,059 Oh, he told me you made him try a grape for the first time. 204 00:08:00,083 --> 00:08:02,636 I did. But he did not like it. 205 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,352 He reported it was "too gushy." 206 00:08:04,436 --> 00:08:06,445 - Who eats those things? - Most people. 207 00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:08,161 Are you gonna grade papers right now? 208 00:08:08,245 --> 00:08:09,291 Yeah. 209 00:08:09,375 --> 00:08:11,803 I've told you how much this fully turns me on, right? 210 00:08:11,887 --> 00:08:13,561 - Yeah. - I've expressed that? 211 00:08:13,645 --> 00:08:14,858 - Wow. - Yeah. 212 00:08:14,942 --> 00:08:16,449 You want me to teach you? 213 00:08:16,533 --> 00:08:18,259 - Everything that you know. - You want me to 214 00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,467 tell you when to nap on your cot? 215 00:08:20,551 --> 00:08:22,727 My dick wants to rip out of its skin 216 00:08:22,811 --> 00:08:24,988 and run laps around the playground. 217 00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:27,541 I don't know... where to go with that. 218 00:08:28,043 --> 00:08:30,136 You can go into Dave's room, where this shit belongs. 219 00:08:30,220 --> 00:08:31,685 I'm sorry. 220 00:08:31,768 --> 00:08:34,364 - That's on me, coach. - It's-it's easy. 221 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:37,377 Yeah. But every now and then I just... I guess... 222 00:08:37,461 --> 00:08:40,768 - I lose my grip on reality. - Dave? Don't. 223 00:08:40,851 --> 00:08:43,070 Really can't even be tamed, stopped... 224 00:08:43,153 --> 00:08:45,539 Don't do it. Don't, I'm serious. Don't! 225 00:08:45,958 --> 00:08:47,465 Okay. You sealed your fate. 226 00:08:47,548 --> 00:08:49,324 I'm gonna finish Handmaid's Tale without you. 227 00:08:49,348 --> 00:08:50,604 - Stop. - Yep, I will. 228 00:08:50,688 --> 00:08:52,739 Girlfriend, what? Get away from me, freak. 229 00:08:52,822 --> 00:08:53,994 You gross me out. 230 00:08:54,078 --> 00:08:55,752 - That's better. - The assignment 231 00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:58,515 is to draw what you want to be when you grow up, 232 00:08:58,599 --> 00:09:00,650 and nobody drew a day trader. 233 00:09:00,733 --> 00:09:02,952 No? Did any of them draw a kindergarten teacher? 234 00:09:03,035 --> 00:09:04,333 - No. - No. 235 00:09:04,417 --> 00:09:06,904 I bet a lot of them said they wanted to be a musical artist, right? 236 00:09:06,928 --> 00:09:09,105 - A few. - That was my dream growing up. 237 00:09:09,188 --> 00:09:13,374 I think you're right. Some young, bright, wet-behind-the-ears kid 238 00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:15,551 that's like, "I want to be an unemployed Jew 239 00:09:15,634 --> 00:09:17,225 who pretends to be a rapper." 240 00:09:17,309 --> 00:09:19,360 And then you're the inspiration. 241 00:09:19,443 --> 00:09:20,783 Or... 242 00:09:20,866 --> 00:09:23,629 I'm a "once in a generation" artist... 243 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:27,312 who just got verified on Twitter about, what, nine days ago? 244 00:09:27,396 --> 00:09:29,423 I'm glad you feel good that a robot told you you're worth it. 245 00:09:29,447 --> 00:09:30,888 Actually, I'm gonna go back there and just see 246 00:09:30,912 --> 00:09:32,478 what's going on... tap in... because I feel like 247 00:09:32,503 --> 00:09:35,223 there's people all over trying to get ahold of me, ask me questions. 248 00:09:35,516 --> 00:09:37,149 - Do you want a hit of this? - No. 249 00:09:37,232 --> 00:09:40,364 Last time I got stoned, I talked to our neighbor Gary for an hour about cement. 250 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,297 He calls it see-ment. 251 00:09:42,632 --> 00:09:44,264 - I hate parent-teacher night. - Mm. 252 00:09:44,348 --> 00:09:46,441 Like, Jordan Beyers's parents are riding me 253 00:09:46,525 --> 00:09:50,208 about his reading comprehension, but the kid literally eats sand. 254 00:09:50,292 --> 00:09:52,050 Fistfuls of sand. 255 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,640 Every day of his life. 256 00:09:53,724 --> 00:09:55,482 Holy moly. 257 00:09:56,193 --> 00:09:57,742 What? 258 00:10:01,174 --> 00:10:03,262 Huge turning point moment in my career just occurred. 259 00:10:03,393 --> 00:10:05,318 - What? - I was in the studio 260 00:10:05,402 --> 00:10:06,700 with YG today. 261 00:10:06,783 --> 00:10:07,997 - YG? - Yes. 262 00:10:08,081 --> 00:10:09,588 Yes, I've heard of them. 263 00:10:09,671 --> 00:10:10,916 It's one guy, it's not a group. 264 00:10:10,969 --> 00:10:12,266 - Okay. Still cool. - Yeah. 265 00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:14,108 What was he like? What did he say? 266 00:10:14,192 --> 00:10:15,866 Well, we didn't really... 267 00:10:15,950 --> 00:10:17,140 I mean, when you're in the studio, 268 00:10:17,164 --> 00:10:18,898 you don't really talk that much. You just, like, vibe 269 00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:20,261 - and listen to music. - Okay. 270 00:10:20,345 --> 00:10:23,358 But the really cool thing is, his manager just texted me 271 00:10:23,442 --> 00:10:25,912 and said that YG will get on one of my songs. 272 00:10:25,995 --> 00:10:27,126 Dave. 273 00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,298 I'm very excited. 274 00:10:28,381 --> 00:10:30,181 That's so cool. Wait, what song? 275 00:10:30,474 --> 00:10:32,818 - Uh, what song? - Can I hear it? 276 00:10:33,823 --> 00:10:35,790 You can hear it when it's done. It's not done. 277 00:10:35,874 --> 00:10:37,901 I know. I don't like having too many cooks in the kitchen... 278 00:10:37,925 --> 00:10:40,603 - But I won't cook. I'm just excited. - Bless your soul. 279 00:10:40,687 --> 00:10:42,798 No, though, 'cause I just, you know... trust the process. 280 00:10:42,822 --> 00:10:44,119 - Dave. - What? 281 00:10:44,203 --> 00:10:45,794 You always do this. 282 00:10:45,877 --> 00:10:47,887 Do you realize that I'm dating a rapper 283 00:10:47,970 --> 00:10:50,147 who I've never heard rap out loud? 284 00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:51,504 Oh, my God, will you rap for me? 285 00:10:51,528 --> 00:10:53,788 Will you rap for me right now? Oh, my God, rap for me. 286 00:10:54,416 --> 00:10:57,221 Rap for me. This is a kindergarten beatbox. 287 00:10:57,304 --> 00:10:59,146 Throw down. 288 00:11:00,067 --> 00:11:01,699 Look... 289 00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:03,457 - I don't know. - Please. 290 00:11:03,541 --> 00:11:05,466 - Please. - I'm sorry. I don't know. 291 00:11:05,550 --> 00:11:07,368 No, it's my job. I-I don't ask you to come home 292 00:11:07,392 --> 00:11:08,522 and teach me things. 293 00:11:08,606 --> 00:11:11,117 Oh, you just asked me if pork was beef. 294 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,633 There are a lot of people that don't know that distinction. 295 00:11:15,303 --> 00:11:17,898 Okay, can I at least know the name of the song? 296 00:11:18,902 --> 00:11:20,535 "Girth." 297 00:11:28,613 --> 00:11:29,869 Hello, my sweetheart. 298 00:11:29,953 --> 00:11:31,501 - Hi, Mama. How are you? - I'm good. 299 00:11:31,585 --> 00:11:34,054 I texted Ally yesterday. She hasn't texted me back. 300 00:11:34,138 --> 00:11:36,333 - Hey, wait until we get into the car. - I was just wondering... 301 00:11:36,357 --> 00:11:38,073 - Don, I'm talking. - I-I know... 302 00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:39,705 - But it has to switch over. - I was... 303 00:11:39,789 --> 00:11:41,338 - Can you hear us? - I can hear you. 304 00:11:41,421 --> 00:11:43,148 I think he can hear us now. Can you hear us? 305 00:11:43,179 --> 00:11:44,937 I'm not gonna beat around the bush. 306 00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:47,048 I'm calling because I'm about to access my bar mitzvah money 307 00:11:47,072 --> 00:11:48,328 and I thought you should know. 308 00:11:48,411 --> 00:11:50,169 - What? - Oh, my God. What's wrong? 309 00:11:50,253 --> 00:11:52,053 Nothing's wrong. Everything's great. 310 00:11:52,137 --> 00:11:53,904 I'm actually getting, like, a very big rapper 311 00:11:53,978 --> 00:11:55,946 on one of my songs, but to do that, 312 00:11:56,029 --> 00:11:58,624 I have to pay him his fee, which is $10,000 in this case. 313 00:11:58,708 --> 00:12:01,136 $10,000? Are you crazy? 314 00:12:01,219 --> 00:12:03,832 David, you haven't made a single dollar off of this and now you want... 315 00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:05,784 How come we never talk about the 15 million views 316 00:12:05,824 --> 00:12:07,306 that I've gotten in three months, Mom? 317 00:12:07,331 --> 00:12:09,148 It's a huge accomplishment. We never talk about that. 318 00:12:09,172 --> 00:12:11,600 But why can't you profit off those views? 319 00:12:11,684 --> 00:12:13,693 Isn't there money in the stream these days? 320 00:12:13,777 --> 00:12:15,116 It's called the cloud, Don. 321 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,167 I can't profit off of it because it's not my beat. 322 00:12:17,251 --> 00:12:18,799 It's just a beat I stole online. 323 00:12:18,883 --> 00:12:21,436 You stole it? Wait a minute, what? 324 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,445 - Did you steal it? - What did he steal? 325 00:12:23,529 --> 00:12:25,580 He stole his... his beat was stolen. 326 00:12:25,664 --> 00:12:27,003 Oh. Oh, my God. 327 00:12:27,171 --> 00:12:29,180 Guys, it's not at all how it sounds. 328 00:12:29,263 --> 00:12:31,249 It couldn't be more commonplace in rap music for people 329 00:12:31,273 --> 00:12:33,114 to jump on other people's beats. 330 00:12:33,198 --> 00:12:34,621 You know, David, 331 00:12:34,705 --> 00:12:38,053 who is this rapper that you are paying $10,000 to? 332 00:12:38,598 --> 00:12:39,770 YG. 333 00:12:39,853 --> 00:12:41,653 YG? I'm gonna look this up. 334 00:12:41,737 --> 00:12:43,202 Do you... do you have a pen? 335 00:12:43,285 --> 00:12:45,839 Is it "Why, G?" with a question mark? 336 00:12:45,922 --> 00:12:47,890 Or the-the letters "Y-G"? 337 00:12:47,973 --> 00:12:49,773 Google will answer any question you have. 338 00:12:49,857 --> 00:12:51,113 I have to go. I love you both. 339 00:12:51,196 --> 00:12:53,708 - Is it Korean? Like Wai Chi? - I mean... 340 00:12:53,792 --> 00:12:55,316 Guys, I'm leaving right now. I'm hanging up. 341 00:12:55,340 --> 00:12:58,019 - Okay, but is it Korean? - Is he a Korean rapper? 342 00:12:58,103 --> 00:13:01,033 Hello. Um, so I have to wire $10,000 343 00:13:01,116 --> 00:13:04,716 to a company called Blood Gang Entertainment LLC. 344 00:13:05,135 --> 00:13:08,065 Attention or whatever: Nutti. 345 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:14,008 Hold on, wait a minute. Slow down. 346 00:13:14,092 --> 00:13:16,603 So YG is getting on "Girth"? 347 00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,194 Yeah. 348 00:13:18,278 --> 00:13:19,910 Just sent him all the money. 349 00:13:19,994 --> 00:13:21,309 - Is that your "Girth" dance? - Totally official. 350 00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:24,054 Yeah, it's my "Girth" dance. We did it. We've done it. 351 00:13:24,598 --> 00:13:26,147 You think that's a good idea? 352 00:13:26,230 --> 00:13:28,843 It's probably the best idea I've ever had. It's a complete no-brainer. 353 00:13:28,867 --> 00:13:30,291 Oh, my... 354 00:13:32,174 --> 00:13:33,890 It's my boss. 355 00:13:34,518 --> 00:13:36,988 Dude, the market's been closed for an hour now. 356 00:13:37,071 --> 00:13:38,243 I don't get any time off. 357 00:13:38,327 --> 00:13:39,708 Bring him everywhere, please. 358 00:13:39,792 --> 00:13:41,341 Like, he's a delight to have around. 359 00:13:41,424 --> 00:13:43,894 Honestly, you will like him, he's just high-strung right now 360 00:13:43,978 --> 00:13:46,322 'cause of his work. He's a really good person. 361 00:13:46,405 --> 00:13:47,703 So you think YG, 362 00:13:47,787 --> 00:13:49,335 which stands for "Young Gangster," 363 00:13:49,419 --> 00:13:52,307 is going to get on a song rapping about the girth of his dick? 364 00:13:52,391 --> 00:13:54,233 I got a seven, dude. 365 00:13:54,693 --> 00:13:57,079 "Girth" has so many applications. What do you mean? 366 00:13:57,163 --> 00:13:59,883 The girth of his girlfriend's breasts. 367 00:13:59,967 --> 00:14:02,185 The girth of his home... I bet it's a huge home. 368 00:14:02,269 --> 00:14:04,380 No. Well, why can't you just rap about normal things, like, 369 00:14:04,404 --> 00:14:06,246 I don't know, getting head in the club 370 00:14:06,329 --> 00:14:07,896 and, like, having orgies with your friends. 371 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:09,444 Oh, yeah, I'll rap about having orgies. 372 00:14:09,468 --> 00:14:11,561 I'll sound like the biggest loser on planet Earth. 373 00:14:11,645 --> 00:14:13,654 You could always rap about, like, the struggles 374 00:14:13,738 --> 00:14:15,914 of a young Jewish man. 375 00:14:16,459 --> 00:14:18,928 You're gonna make fun of me 'cause I have no struggles? 376 00:14:19,012 --> 00:14:21,733 I literally met you at overnight camp, your father is a dentist. 377 00:14:21,816 --> 00:14:23,951 And I'm not a rapper. I'm a sound engineer. 378 00:14:24,035 --> 00:14:26,845 You're not gonna trick YG into rapping about the girthness of his dick. 379 00:14:26,923 --> 00:14:29,141 - There's no trick here. - He's a businessman, bro. 380 00:14:29,225 --> 00:14:31,150 He sells shit at Barneys. He's not an idiot. 381 00:14:31,234 --> 00:14:33,483 You know, I read the other day that YG is actually vegan. 382 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:38,391 Which shocked me. I would have expected that guy to be fully carnivorous. 383 00:14:59,738 --> 00:15:01,748 Can you please knock when you walk in here? 384 00:15:01,831 --> 00:15:03,254 Did you tweet this? 385 00:15:03,882 --> 00:15:06,561 "Just got head." Yeah. 386 00:15:07,021 --> 00:15:08,361 Are you fucking kidding me? 387 00:15:08,445 --> 00:15:10,370 - What? - Dave, my mom just called 388 00:15:10,454 --> 00:15:12,341 and asked why you're telling everyone on Twitter 389 00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,639 that I gave you head. 390 00:15:14,723 --> 00:15:16,983 Well, I didn't say that Ally Wernick gave me head. 391 00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:19,746 I was very nonspecific. It just said, "Just got head." 392 00:15:19,830 --> 00:15:23,220 Oh, cool. Um, so who's giving you head, then? 393 00:15:24,685 --> 00:15:27,364 Nobody, Al. It's fictitious head. It's a joke. 394 00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:29,174 I'm happy to jump on the phone with your mom 395 00:15:29,247 --> 00:15:30,754 and explain how Twitter works 396 00:15:30,838 --> 00:15:32,614 and how everything that's tweeted isn't a real thing necessarily. 397 00:15:32,638 --> 00:15:34,228 Oh, it's a very real thing 398 00:15:34,312 --> 00:15:37,284 that my very real principal at my real job can read. 399 00:15:37,744 --> 00:15:39,419 You guys need to stop thinking about this 400 00:15:39,502 --> 00:15:41,738 like it's Dave Burd's Twitter. This is Lil Dicky tweeting. 401 00:15:41,763 --> 00:15:43,144 They are totally different things. 402 00:15:43,228 --> 00:15:45,990 Okay, then explain to me the difference, just so we're clear. 403 00:15:46,074 --> 00:15:47,721 Dave Burd takes your feelings into account 404 00:15:47,748 --> 00:15:49,087 at every waking moment. 405 00:15:49,171 --> 00:15:51,557 Lil Dicky, on the other hand, can never do that. 406 00:15:51,641 --> 00:15:54,027 I'm sorry. I can't worry about what my girlfriend 407 00:15:54,110 --> 00:15:55,994 and her kindergarten class are gonna think 408 00:15:56,078 --> 00:15:58,254 as I rap lyrics about, like, 409 00:15:58,966 --> 00:16:01,770 69-ing a girl on her period. 410 00:16:02,356 --> 00:16:04,030 I mean, that's a terrible example. 411 00:16:04,114 --> 00:16:06,291 But think of me as, like, a corporation. 412 00:16:06,625 --> 00:16:09,095 Like, when Wendy's tweets, for example, 413 00:16:09,179 --> 00:16:11,690 I don't think anybody thinks that it's actually Wendy. 414 00:16:11,774 --> 00:16:14,495 No! Because Wendy is not a real person. 415 00:16:14,578 --> 00:16:16,713 Okay? And-and Wendy's isn't tweeting 416 00:16:16,797 --> 00:16:19,768 that Wendy sucked Dave Thomas's dick. 417 00:16:21,652 --> 00:16:23,829 Wendy is a real person, it's Dave Thomas's daughter. 418 00:16:23,912 --> 00:16:26,173 - You're not gonna want to hear that... - Oh, my God. 419 00:16:26,256 --> 00:16:29,354 I don't want my mom knowing that I give you head. 420 00:16:29,437 --> 00:16:30,836 You can wrap your brain around that. 421 00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:32,409 Your mom knows you give me head. 422 00:16:32,493 --> 00:16:34,018 Everybody's giving everybody head at our age. 423 00:16:34,042 --> 00:16:35,967 - I didn't give you head! - I know, Al! 424 00:16:36,051 --> 00:16:37,892 That's my... you're making my point for me. 425 00:16:37,976 --> 00:16:40,069 I don't even know what we're talking about here! 426 00:16:58,695 --> 00:17:01,500 I wired YG's manager $10,000 today. 427 00:17:03,802 --> 00:17:05,727 I didn't tell you that yet. 428 00:17:06,522 --> 00:17:08,239 And as soon as I did that, 429 00:17:09,201 --> 00:17:11,503 he stopped responding to all of my text messages, so... 430 00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:14,810 - $10,000? - Yep. 431 00:17:15,229 --> 00:17:17,548 I have no idea where the money is. I don't even know who this guy is 432 00:17:17,573 --> 00:17:19,665 or even if he's a real person. I've never met him. 433 00:17:19,749 --> 00:17:22,093 You've never met him? 434 00:17:22,386 --> 00:17:26,069 No. All I know about him is that his name is Nutti. 435 00:17:26,404 --> 00:17:28,246 Oh, Dave. 436 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,088 Al, I'm sorry for being an asshole. 437 00:17:30,171 --> 00:17:31,511 I should never have said that. 438 00:17:31,595 --> 00:17:33,705 But I love you so much. You're my moon, you're my rock, 439 00:17:33,729 --> 00:17:35,780 you're my favorite person in the world. 440 00:17:35,864 --> 00:17:37,748 Tied with my parents. 441 00:17:37,831 --> 00:17:39,422 But I'm a wreck right now. 442 00:17:39,547 --> 00:17:41,222 I've never been more stressed in my life. 443 00:17:41,305 --> 00:17:43,231 Before you came, I was actually crying. 444 00:17:43,314 --> 00:17:45,282 - You were crying? - Yes. 445 00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:50,598 Do you want a belly rub? 446 00:17:50,932 --> 00:17:52,983 Really? Yes. 447 00:17:53,067 --> 00:17:55,453 Oh, my God. 448 00:18:01,606 --> 00:18:03,172 I'm putting the weight of the world on you. 449 00:18:03,196 --> 00:18:05,247 It's on me. I need to get it off me. 450 00:18:10,019 --> 00:18:11,442 So let me get this straight. 451 00:18:11,526 --> 00:18:13,744 There were absolutely no contracts at all? 452 00:18:14,874 --> 00:18:16,130 No, there's no contracts 453 00:18:16,214 --> 00:18:18,767 at this phase... it's laughable you'd even suggest such a thing. 454 00:18:18,976 --> 00:18:20,585 Stupid guy over here. I just work with people 455 00:18:20,609 --> 00:18:22,301 on Wall Street all the time. I don't know about money 456 00:18:22,325 --> 00:18:23,808 or business or any of that kind of stuff. 457 00:18:23,832 --> 00:18:25,608 It's a totally different world. What are you talking about? 458 00:18:25,632 --> 00:18:27,407 Did you ever think for a second that perhaps this guy 459 00:18:27,431 --> 00:18:30,152 who introduced you to Nutsi maybe set you up 460 00:18:30,236 --> 00:18:32,329 just to take your money? 461 00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:33,668 Gata? 462 00:18:33,752 --> 00:18:35,928 Gata? That's a man's name? 463 00:18:36,012 --> 00:18:38,147 I didn't even think about that as a possibility. 464 00:18:38,230 --> 00:18:40,216 Of course you didn't. Your brain is basically pulled pork. 465 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:41,872 Come on, dude, you got scammed. 466 00:18:41,956 --> 00:18:44,467 If I go and talk to this guy Gata, will you come with me? 467 00:18:44,551 --> 00:18:46,183 No. Why me? 468 00:18:46,267 --> 00:18:48,611 You were just lecturing him about business and money. 469 00:18:49,323 --> 00:18:52,378 Mike, you're my best friend. I'm asking you to come, please. 470 00:18:52,587 --> 00:18:54,471 I love you. Take Ally. 471 00:18:54,555 --> 00:18:57,024 - Weekends are for me. - No. You're a pussy. I'll go. 472 00:18:57,108 --> 00:18:59,201 Call a Lyft. I don't give a fuck. 473 00:18:59,661 --> 00:19:01,921 I'm not gonna bring my girlfriend with me to get the m... 474 00:19:02,005 --> 00:19:03,732 it just feels like such a weird thing to do. 475 00:19:03,763 --> 00:19:06,149 - I know that's sexist, probably, but... - It is. 476 00:19:06,233 --> 00:19:08,427 It's even weirder to take me, 'cause then it looks like you went 477 00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,562 and got your muscle, and they're just gonna be like... 478 00:19:10,586 --> 00:19:13,390 - You're the muscle? - You're laughing at me? 479 00:19:13,474 --> 00:19:15,525 You have sex with a man with no muscle on his body. 480 00:19:15,609 --> 00:19:17,845 That's bone and tendon. You're a marionette. You know that. 481 00:19:17,869 --> 00:19:20,213 Okay, why do we need to go? You just go. 482 00:19:21,385 --> 00:19:23,729 You guys haven't met this guy. 483 00:19:23,812 --> 00:19:26,132 You have no context. Never mind, I'll figure something out. 484 00:19:26,156 --> 00:19:29,212 Dicky. Lil Dicky. Holy shit, man. 485 00:19:29,296 --> 00:19:31,891 - Hi. - Hey. Gosh, can I get a pic? 486 00:19:31,975 --> 00:19:33,900 - Yeah, of course. - Definitely. 487 00:19:33,984 --> 00:19:36,537 Sweet. Um, you know, uh, I'm a rapper, too. 488 00:19:36,621 --> 00:19:39,676 - Um, I go by Nuance. - Cool. 489 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,476 Nuance? Send him all your stuff. 490 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:42,925 You guys could collab or something. 491 00:19:42,983 --> 00:19:44,364 Three, two... 492 00:19:44,448 --> 00:19:45,871 Get a few, just in case. 493 00:19:45,955 --> 00:19:47,671 - I got it. - Very tight. 494 00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:49,010 Um, so, is this your girl? 495 00:19:49,094 --> 00:19:50,643 - Still here. - Yeah. 496 00:19:50,726 --> 00:19:52,879 I just think it's so sick how you tweet after you, like, 497 00:19:52,903 --> 00:19:54,870 get head and shit. 498 00:19:56,628 --> 00:19:58,595 You're my hero, man. 499 00:20:00,353 --> 00:20:02,069 I think that happens to most couples. 500 00:20:02,153 --> 00:20:04,539 Shots at your kickback 501 00:20:04,623 --> 00:20:05,878 Bitch, get back 502 00:20:05,962 --> 00:20:08,013 I said, bro, get back... 503 00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,650 Thank you for coming with me. I appreciate it. 504 00:20:10,734 --> 00:20:12,450 Yeah, of course. Obviously, you know, 505 00:20:12,534 --> 00:20:15,045 you got to have me around sometimes. 506 00:20:16,343 --> 00:20:18,017 What does that mean? 507 00:20:18,101 --> 00:20:19,900 It-it means that we're in the hood 508 00:20:19,984 --> 00:20:22,035 and you had no other friends to bring... 509 00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:23,835 Wait, this is the hood right now? 510 00:20:23,919 --> 00:20:25,862 There's no line that defines, like, "We're in the hood," 511 00:20:25,886 --> 00:20:27,494 or a sign that says, "Welcome to the hood." 512 00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:29,779 - But, like, we are in the janky. - Right. 513 00:20:30,406 --> 00:20:33,211 Song with YG worked out, right? 514 00:20:33,295 --> 00:20:34,550 Please stop. 515 00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:37,284 - Mr. Nuts took everything from you. - I need... I need you... I... 516 00:20:37,355 --> 00:20:39,657 - His name is Nutti. - Oh... 517 00:20:39,741 --> 00:20:41,433 - "His name is Nutti." - And we're not even going 518 00:20:41,457 --> 00:20:43,382 to Nutti's house, we're going to Gata's house. 519 00:20:43,466 --> 00:20:44,889 Oh! Gata! 520 00:20:44,973 --> 00:20:48,112 "Yeah, Mr. Gator, Mr. Nuts, your 10:00 is here." 521 00:20:48,196 --> 00:20:49,870 Shut the fuck up. 522 00:20:53,009 --> 00:20:54,809 Lil Dicky poppin' out in South Central? 523 00:20:54,893 --> 00:20:56,752 - I can't believe this. - Oh, is this South Central? 524 00:20:56,776 --> 00:20:57,865 Like Don't Be a Menace? 525 00:20:57,948 --> 00:20:59,724 Hey, you the engineer that be at the studio, right, bro? 526 00:20:59,748 --> 00:21:01,297 - Yeah, papi, Elz. - Papi? 527 00:21:01,380 --> 00:21:04,310 Save that gay shit for New York, bro. We on the west right now. 528 00:21:04,813 --> 00:21:06,780 I'm messing with you, man. My uncle gay. 529 00:21:06,864 --> 00:21:08,831 And he a cold-ass nigga. Come on in, y'all. 530 00:21:10,254 --> 00:21:12,347 - Hey, we got company. - Hi. Catherine. 531 00:21:12,431 --> 00:21:14,691 Moms, we don't just got anybody in the spot right now. 532 00:21:14,775 --> 00:21:17,579 We got Lil Dicky in here. He one of the best new rappers in the game. 533 00:21:17,914 --> 00:21:21,723 - Oh, what's up, Lil Dicky? - Oh, no, I'm a normal person. 534 00:21:21,807 --> 00:21:23,774 That thing right there is Lil Dicky. 535 00:21:24,569 --> 00:21:26,456 I'm the rapper, isn't that funny? I'm Lil Dicky. 536 00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:28,378 But call me Dave. I prefer that. 537 00:21:28,462 --> 00:21:32,061 Oh. Well, why you call yourself Lil Dicky? You got a Lil Dicky? 538 00:21:32,145 --> 00:21:35,326 Soft, it's never even grown at all, since I was a child, but... 539 00:21:35,410 --> 00:21:38,214 No, it's just kind of like a... play on a rap name. 540 00:21:38,298 --> 00:21:40,056 The opposite of what you'd expect. 541 00:21:40,140 --> 00:21:42,274 So, you're a satirical rapper. 542 00:21:42,358 --> 00:21:45,288 Jackpot. See? I told you people understand what I'm doing. 543 00:21:47,507 --> 00:21:50,269 So, Gata, I have something relatively serious 544 00:21:50,353 --> 00:21:52,822 I need to talk with you about. Remember that guy Nutti 545 00:21:52,906 --> 00:21:54,873 that you set me up with for the YG verse? 546 00:21:54,957 --> 00:21:56,966 So, they said "yes" to doing a song. 547 00:21:57,050 --> 00:21:59,352 I sent him $10,000. 548 00:21:59,436 --> 00:22:00,859 As soon as the money went through, 549 00:22:00,943 --> 00:22:03,454 he completely stopped responding to all my text messages. 550 00:22:03,538 --> 00:22:06,258 And the whole thing feels very... 551 00:22:07,096 --> 00:22:10,067 - Coincidental and... - Wait. Coincidental how? 552 00:22:11,909 --> 00:22:16,053 You know, I have to assume that my money's gone, 553 00:22:16,137 --> 00:22:18,941 and Gata set the whole thing up, so I don't mean to be accusing... 554 00:22:19,025 --> 00:22:21,113 Hold up, bro. Ain't nobody run off with nothing, man. 555 00:22:21,159 --> 00:22:24,717 Nutti changed his number. You got to kill that energy in my house, though. 556 00:22:24,801 --> 00:22:27,288 - Nutti changed his cell phone number? - That's what I just said. 557 00:22:27,312 --> 00:22:29,507 Who would change their number in the middle of a $10,000 wire exchange? 558 00:22:29,531 --> 00:22:31,540 I'm sending you his new line right now. Relax. 559 00:22:31,624 --> 00:22:33,340 Okay, I'm gonna text him right now. 560 00:22:33,675 --> 00:22:35,265 Come on, bro, you got me looking crazy. 561 00:22:35,349 --> 00:22:37,860 No, I wasn't saying that I was certain it was you, by the way. 562 00:22:37,944 --> 00:22:39,911 I was just trying to think about what happened 563 00:22:39,995 --> 00:22:42,632 and replaying everything and thinking about who the suspects 564 00:22:42,716 --> 00:22:45,771 - could even be and... - Oh, and you thought of my son. 565 00:22:46,190 --> 00:22:48,073 Gee, I wonder why that is. 566 00:22:48,157 --> 00:22:51,003 Small things to a giant. I ain't even tripping, this shit regular. 567 00:22:51,087 --> 00:22:53,305 People size me up all the time and stereotype me. 568 00:22:53,389 --> 00:22:56,110 Putting me in a box like I'm some thug. Just like you. 569 00:22:56,193 --> 00:22:58,621 You look like a nerd, all corny. But you rap hard, though. 570 00:22:58,705 --> 00:23:00,648 Like, people play they self when they do that shit, man. 571 00:23:00,672 --> 00:23:02,472 How you gonna do me like that? 572 00:23:05,234 --> 00:23:07,118 I hear you. 573 00:23:07,202 --> 00:23:10,634 And... it seems I have made a fool of myself 574 00:23:10,718 --> 00:23:12,266 and I'm very sorry. 575 00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:15,782 - You should be. - I know. And I'm... 576 00:23:15,866 --> 00:23:17,122 embarrassed. 577 00:23:17,206 --> 00:23:19,424 I'm sorry. Oh, my God. Nutti just responded. 578 00:23:19,508 --> 00:23:20,990 He says if we go right now, we can do the verse. 579 00:23:21,014 --> 00:23:22,772 - YG in the studio right now? - Yeah. 580 00:23:22,856 --> 00:23:24,465 Oh, I got to go with you, bro. We got to get this sorted out. 581 00:23:24,489 --> 00:23:26,296 - Please come. You'll come? - Yeah, I'm going. 582 00:23:30,893 --> 00:23:32,944 What's up? 583 00:23:34,199 --> 00:23:35,581 Hi. 584 00:23:35,706 --> 00:23:36,962 Lil Dicky, remember? 585 00:23:37,046 --> 00:23:38,929 Lil Dicky. What up, bro? 586 00:23:39,683 --> 00:23:42,194 - Oh, whoa, whoa! - Balmain, down. 587 00:23:42,278 --> 00:23:44,203 Try to control your fear. He can smell fear. 588 00:23:44,287 --> 00:23:46,840 Control my fear? How do I do that? I reek of fear. 589 00:23:46,924 --> 00:23:48,221 Just chill, man. Relax. 590 00:23:48,305 --> 00:23:49,770 - Balmain. - Ah! 591 00:23:51,612 --> 00:23:54,123 Damn, even the dog Balmain? That's hard. 592 00:23:54,207 --> 00:23:56,928 - Yo, what you doing here, bro? - I'm just in here, chilling. 593 00:23:57,011 --> 00:23:59,373 You know what I'm saying, seeing what's good. What's good, Nutti? 594 00:23:59,397 --> 00:24:02,285 - Nah, nah, you got to skate, man. - I'm the one that set this up. 595 00:24:02,369 --> 00:24:04,127 I don't give a fuck, bruh. 596 00:24:04,211 --> 00:24:06,471 Hey, man, it's like... Man, you being extra, too, man. 597 00:24:06,555 --> 00:24:08,145 You burnt out, bro. 598 00:24:08,606 --> 00:24:10,112 Come on, man. 599 00:24:10,196 --> 00:24:13,042 Hate broke niggas. Shit make me nervous. 600 00:24:13,963 --> 00:24:15,052 For sure. 601 00:24:15,135 --> 00:24:16,265 YG, Lil Dicky. 602 00:24:17,019 --> 00:24:19,572 What up, man? Good to meet you. 603 00:24:20,242 --> 00:24:21,623 So... 604 00:24:21,707 --> 00:24:23,674 I don't know what Nutti has told you, 605 00:24:23,758 --> 00:24:25,743 but I've got this one song called "Girth" that I really 606 00:24:25,767 --> 00:24:27,232 think would be a huge... 607 00:24:27,316 --> 00:24:29,785 Hey, D, hey, hey. Turn the bass up, bro. 608 00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:32,589 Beggars with dough, she fuck it up, she know I got knots 609 00:24:32,673 --> 00:24:35,226 The money come, the money go, man, this shit don't stop 610 00:24:35,310 --> 00:24:37,780 White Ferrecci 'cause she with it, she a top-notch broad 611 00:24:37,863 --> 00:24:39,454 Steady lookin' over my shoulder 612 00:24:39,538 --> 00:24:41,086 Man, this shit don't stop 613 00:24:41,170 --> 00:24:43,138 Tryin' to get that money till this shit don't stop 614 00:24:43,472 --> 00:24:45,942 I'm tryin' to pull up foreign, tryin' to pull up drop 615 00:24:46,025 --> 00:24:48,328 I'm buyin' all designer, tryin' to hit your thot 616 00:24:48,411 --> 00:24:50,713 Ghetto YG, these Glocks, tell 'em hit your block 617 00:24:50,797 --> 00:24:53,392 You see this old watch, you see the diamond clock 618 00:24:53,476 --> 00:24:55,946 You see this a drop, you know it cost a lot 619 00:24:56,029 --> 00:24:58,541 She see me, she gonna thot, I see you, we gonna box 620 00:24:58,624 --> 00:25:01,136 Need to let my Eagle drop, need to let my Eagle drop 621 00:25:01,219 --> 00:25:03,731 Yeah, yeah, I don't care, war gear, I declare... 622 00:25:03,815 --> 00:25:05,363 Guns! Wow. 623 00:25:05,447 --> 00:25:07,079 Could've used a heads-up about that. 624 00:25:07,163 --> 00:25:08,796 Lot of guns over here. 625 00:25:09,549 --> 00:25:10,679 Oh. 626 00:25:10,763 --> 00:25:12,730 Sorry, I just noticed all the weaponry. 627 00:25:13,693 --> 00:25:15,660 I didn't know if something was afoot, 628 00:25:15,744 --> 00:25:18,757 or if the safeties were on, or what. 629 00:25:19,218 --> 00:25:20,934 Hey, 'Rell, you know he a rapper? 630 00:25:21,018 --> 00:25:22,818 Thought he was a new intern. 631 00:25:22,901 --> 00:25:25,287 No, 'Rell. You've got me all wrong. 632 00:25:25,371 --> 00:25:27,882 I'm actually one of the best rappers alive. 633 00:25:27,966 --> 00:25:30,310 Yeah. And in five years, you're gonna replay 634 00:25:30,394 --> 00:25:32,905 this entire moment and be like, "Wow, not only was he right, 635 00:25:32,989 --> 00:25:35,584 "but I was so lucky to spend that quality time with him 636 00:25:35,668 --> 00:25:37,258 before he really took off." 637 00:25:37,342 --> 00:25:40,272 That's what every rapper say. The same shit. 638 00:25:40,356 --> 00:25:42,448 Well, every good rapper has to feel that way. 639 00:25:42,532 --> 00:25:44,350 Do you want to pull up the session that I want to work on 640 00:25:44,374 --> 00:25:45,982 with you and see if I'm just like every other... 641 00:25:46,006 --> 00:25:48,015 You be fucking black bitches, Lil Dicky? 642 00:25:48,099 --> 00:25:49,857 You said, "Do I fuck black bitches?" 643 00:25:49,941 --> 00:25:52,368 Do you fuck black bitches, Lil Dicky? 644 00:25:52,703 --> 00:25:55,466 Well, statistically, I certainly skew white. 645 00:25:55,549 --> 00:25:57,852 So, what kind of hos you fuck with, then, Lil Dicky? 646 00:25:58,061 --> 00:26:00,279 What type of hos? Well, you know, I've got a girlfriend. 647 00:26:00,363 --> 00:26:03,209 So, I typically fuck with her. Fuck on her. All that. 648 00:26:03,293 --> 00:26:06,893 Real cute girl. Honestly, the sex is very solid. 649 00:26:08,107 --> 00:26:10,492 Uh, she has recently just switched birth controls, though, 650 00:26:10,576 --> 00:26:13,255 which... her vagina gets dryer faster, which... 651 00:26:13,339 --> 00:26:15,348 - I'm giving way too much information. - Bruh. 652 00:26:16,310 --> 00:26:18,068 Her pussy really dry? 653 00:26:18,152 --> 00:26:20,078 - Sometimes. - Oh, yo. 654 00:26:20,161 --> 00:26:23,719 I will keep my ear to the pussy the next time I'm in that ass, 655 00:26:23,803 --> 00:26:27,737 or... pussy, I guess, 'cause I've never done anal. 656 00:26:27,821 --> 00:26:29,621 Don't think I'd like it very much. 657 00:26:29,705 --> 00:26:32,342 Are you guys going to Coachella this year or what? 658 00:26:32,676 --> 00:26:35,690 Hey, man. Hold up, man. I got to get you on my Instagram, bruh. 659 00:26:35,774 --> 00:26:38,829 - Oh, is it a video or a picture? - It's a video, bruh. Spit some shit. 660 00:26:38,913 --> 00:26:41,090 You funny as fuck. Rap to the fans, Lil Dicky. 661 00:26:41,173 --> 00:26:43,727 Oh, I don't know about that, I don't... 662 00:26:43,810 --> 00:26:45,945 Spit some shit, Lil Dicky. Rap! 663 00:26:46,029 --> 00:26:47,243 You know, I'm really, I... 664 00:26:47,326 --> 00:26:49,060 wasn't prepared at all for this type of thing. 665 00:26:49,084 --> 00:26:50,968 Don't film yet. Are you filming? I don't, uh... 666 00:26:51,052 --> 00:26:53,437 Man, I thought this dude was a rapper. 667 00:26:53,521 --> 00:26:56,367 Man, yo, Peter Parker's scared to rap. Hey, D. 668 00:26:56,451 --> 00:26:58,711 Fuck it, man. Hey, let's make a beat from scratch. 669 00:26:58,795 --> 00:27:00,427 Fuck this nigga. 670 00:27:05,534 --> 00:27:07,376 Wait. 671 00:27:09,134 --> 00:27:11,478 Allow me to tell y'all what I'm 'bout 672 00:27:12,105 --> 00:27:13,738 Like a dinner, you got reservations 673 00:27:13,822 --> 00:27:15,538 But I'm 'bout to eat up all the doubt 674 00:27:15,621 --> 00:27:17,965 Hey, come on, I'm a flower, let me sprout 675 00:27:18,049 --> 00:27:19,723 Lookin' like I'm straight out of Comic-Con 676 00:27:19,807 --> 00:27:21,691 Scrawny Don, hungry, Ramadan 677 00:27:21,774 --> 00:27:23,574 My mama wrong, she don't think I got a job 678 00:27:23,658 --> 00:27:26,127 But I'm-a make great cheese like Parmesan, I'm hardly on 679 00:27:26,211 --> 00:27:27,551 But the rent paid 680 00:27:27,634 --> 00:27:29,326 'Cause you know the pussy flow good, I menstruate 681 00:27:29,350 --> 00:27:31,108 If we got off on the wrong foot like Bengay 682 00:27:31,192 --> 00:27:33,411 It's because I'm higher than a bitch, men's pay 683 00:27:33,494 --> 00:27:35,754 Rappers thinkin' that they hot, blow your nose 684 00:27:35,838 --> 00:27:38,015 Motherfuckers, it's not, I ain't never fought a man 685 00:27:38,098 --> 00:27:39,815 In my life, I have only slept with 686 00:27:39,898 --> 00:27:41,883 Four different girls, still you could get it, though 687 00:27:41,907 --> 00:27:43,641 Get every crevice, though, come on some chicken 688 00:27:43,665 --> 00:27:45,549 Like fresh mozzarella, hella good Ebonics 689 00:27:45,633 --> 00:27:47,684 I think like a comic, my females got bombs 690 00:27:47,767 --> 00:27:49,776 On their body like they were jihadists 691 00:27:49,860 --> 00:27:52,832 And my libido is scary like Magic Johnson near mosquitoes 692 00:27:52,916 --> 00:27:54,925 Mm, I'm tactical, I'm back and forth 693 00:27:55,009 --> 00:27:56,910 From actin' dull to rappin' for you, attractin', lurin' 694 00:27:56,934 --> 00:27:58,877 The faction formin', the track's recorded, it's about 695 00:27:58,901 --> 00:28:00,588 To put me on the racks like a fashion store 696 00:28:00,659 --> 00:28:02,626 I just want a girl let me hit it on a workday 697 00:28:02,710 --> 00:28:04,026 I don't think my dick has grown at all 698 00:28:04,050 --> 00:28:05,574 Since the first grade, I'm-a get the cake 699 00:28:05,598 --> 00:28:06,980 With my gifts like a birthday 700 00:28:07,063 --> 00:28:09,240 Separatin' with my lines like two lanes 701 00:28:09,324 --> 00:28:10,723 I don't want a Grammy, bro, I got two 702 00:28:10,747 --> 00:28:13,049 And they're fairly old, stay with more bars than a graph 703 00:28:13,133 --> 00:28:14,992 I'm on top of the class, hop in a bath with a bad 704 00:28:15,016 --> 00:28:17,276 Little lady with ass, I'm makin' her laugh, the neck 705 00:28:17,360 --> 00:28:19,407 Like a baby giraffe, shakin' it fast, makin' it last 706 00:28:19,453 --> 00:28:21,271 Haters amass, sayin' I'm bad, it's like an eighth grader 707 00:28:21,295 --> 00:28:22,945 Trainin' the class, it's crazy and blasphemous 708 00:28:22,969 --> 00:28:24,745 I'm 'bout to break 'em in half, I'm makin' my path 709 00:28:24,769 --> 00:28:26,879 I'm waitin' on my break like a cast, somebody get a boy 710 00:28:26,903 --> 00:28:28,913 A gig, he got drive and flash. 711 00:28:28,996 --> 00:28:30,712 Like a flash drive. 712 00:28:34,479 --> 00:28:36,656 - He kind of tight. Yeah. - Damn. 713 00:28:36,740 --> 00:28:38,581 Hey, Lil Dicky bitch, if you listening, 714 00:28:38,665 --> 00:28:41,009 hit him with that slickness tonight! 715 00:28:41,093 --> 00:28:43,521 - Oh-oh-oh. Uh... - None of that dry shit. 716 00:28:43,604 --> 00:28:46,534 Don't take that birth control till tomorrow, baby. 717 00:28:46,618 --> 00:28:49,548 Did you post that already? Please don't post that. Did you post it? 718 00:28:49,883 --> 00:28:51,306 Yeah. 719 00:28:51,431 --> 00:28:52,938 - Oh. - Hey, I'm tired, bro. 720 00:28:53,022 --> 00:28:54,571 I'm going. Let's go. 721 00:28:55,575 --> 00:28:56,915 Wait, where are you guys going? 722 00:28:56,998 --> 00:28:58,631 Oh, we got a quick Europe run. 723 00:28:58,714 --> 00:29:00,096 We'll be back in a few weeks. 724 00:29:00,179 --> 00:29:02,272 A few weeks? What do you mean? What about the verse? 725 00:29:02,691 --> 00:29:04,072 Oh. Oh, nah, nah. 726 00:29:04,156 --> 00:29:05,746 We'll take care of that when I get back. 727 00:29:05,830 --> 00:29:07,881 - I would love to settle up right now. - Yo, yo, yo. 728 00:29:08,049 --> 00:29:09,765 Why you pressin' me, bro? 729 00:29:09,848 --> 00:29:11,732 I don't like that shit. Twin. 730 00:29:11,816 --> 00:29:12,988 Wait. 731 00:29:13,071 --> 00:29:14,955 Wait a minute. Just... slow down. I don't... 732 00:29:15,039 --> 00:29:17,166 Are you gonna change your number between now and then? 733 00:29:17,299 --> 00:29:19,057 I said I got you. 734 00:29:20,145 --> 00:29:22,824 Wait a minute. Hold on. Hold the phone. Hold on. 735 00:29:27,889 --> 00:29:29,354 Yo, yo. 736 00:29:30,149 --> 00:29:31,781 Hey, man, uh, so, I paid 737 00:29:31,865 --> 00:29:34,711 you guys my life savings to get on one of my songs, 738 00:29:34,879 --> 00:29:36,846 and we were supposed to work on it tonight, 739 00:29:36,930 --> 00:29:38,437 and that did not happen. 740 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,027 Damn, bro. 741 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:41,869 My bad. 742 00:29:41,952 --> 00:29:43,627 - You know, I don't... - Bro, don't trip. 743 00:29:43,710 --> 00:29:45,552 When I get back, we gonna do something crazy. 744 00:29:45,636 --> 00:29:47,478 - A'ight? - You promise? 745 00:29:47,812 --> 00:29:49,529 I got you. 746 00:29:49,612 --> 00:29:50,826 We good? 747 00:29:50,910 --> 00:29:52,710 Yeah, we're good. 748 00:30:09,452 --> 00:30:12,006 Man, YG get a couple hits, go all Hollywood. 749 00:30:12,089 --> 00:30:13,931 Had me out here for an hour, bro. 750 00:30:14,015 --> 00:30:15,522 Did he do the verse or what? 751 00:30:15,605 --> 00:30:17,070 No, he didn't do the verse. 752 00:30:17,154 --> 00:30:19,516 He did put me on his Instagram rapping for, like, two minutes. 753 00:30:19,540 --> 00:30:22,302 - He put you on his Instagram rapping? - Yeah, and it's going viral. 754 00:30:22,386 --> 00:30:24,060 - I can't believe that. - Yeah, look. 755 00:30:24,144 --> 00:30:26,153 Dang, that... This is way sicker than a verse. 756 00:30:26,237 --> 00:30:28,497 He basically directed a music video for you, bro. 757 00:30:29,083 --> 00:30:31,260 Gata, I am incredibly high. 758 00:30:31,343 --> 00:30:32,934 Would you drive my car? 759 00:30:33,018 --> 00:30:34,818 I got you, bro. Let's wiggle. 760 00:30:34,901 --> 00:30:36,534 Okay. 761 00:30:37,747 --> 00:30:39,589 Hey, be honest with me. 762 00:30:39,673 --> 00:30:42,561 Were you just using me to get into the studio with them? 763 00:30:42,645 --> 00:30:44,947 Man, you know I got to do what I got to do, bro. 764 00:30:45,031 --> 00:30:47,392 I'm a positive opportunist. You know how I gander and wiggle. 765 00:30:47,416 --> 00:30:49,611 We 'posed to be like Kobe and Shaq, bro. I got to get mine. 766 00:30:49,635 --> 00:30:51,536 You 'posed to throw it off the glass, bro. I rap, too. 767 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,323 - Like, what's good? I ain't... - No, I'm not mad. I... 768 00:30:54,867 --> 00:30:56,978 I'm honored to be a part of your gander, as you would put it. 769 00:30:57,002 --> 00:30:58,132 I think it's cool. 770 00:30:58,215 --> 00:31:00,535 I think we're gonna be telling this story at our 50th birthday parties. 771 00:31:00,559 --> 00:31:02,837 50th birthday party? What's really good with this weekend? 772 00:31:02,862 --> 00:31:04,578 What's the plot, fool? 773 00:31:05,247 --> 00:31:07,131 I'm not doing anything this weekend. 774 00:31:07,382 --> 00:31:08,721 I need to rest. 775 00:31:09,266 --> 00:31:11,861 My dick sucks, my dick sucks 776 00:31:12,698 --> 00:31:15,502 My dick sucks, fuck! 777 00:31:16,130 --> 00:31:18,851 My dick sucks, my dick sucks 778 00:31:19,479 --> 00:31:22,325 My dick sucks, fuck! 779 00:31:22,409 --> 00:31:23,957 Hey, girl, hey, girl 780 00:31:24,041 --> 00:31:25,715 Hey, girl, what you tryin' to say, girl? 781 00:31:25,841 --> 00:31:27,473 When you see my dick, you may hurl 782 00:31:27,557 --> 00:31:28,914 But I'm still kind of hot like May, girl 783 00:31:28,938 --> 00:31:30,529 Whoa, girl, whoa, girl 784 00:31:30,654 --> 00:31:32,287 I'm just tryin' to let you know, girl 785 00:31:32,371 --> 00:31:33,835 My dick sucks fo' sho', girl 786 00:31:33,919 --> 00:31:35,384 But I make up for that 787 00:31:35,468 --> 00:31:36,783 Like, even though my dick is shorty 788 00:31:36,807 --> 00:31:38,482 It sit there like it's Gotti 789 00:31:38,565 --> 00:31:40,072 And it do good work like Gandhi 790 00:31:40,156 --> 00:31:42,207 And it might grow more like Brawny, probably not 791 00:31:42,291 --> 00:31:45,053 Got bitches in the lobby, their body language obvi 792 00:31:45,137 --> 00:31:48,192 If five-inches the over-under, I'm underdog like Rocky 793 00:31:48,276 --> 00:31:49,867 They don't care about my cock 794 00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:51,583 I could use a pussy mop 795 00:31:51,666 --> 00:31:53,215 In the scene like I'm a prop 796 00:31:53,299 --> 00:31:54,931 She saw me and went in shock 797 00:31:55,015 --> 00:31:56,647 Technically I'm unemployed... 797 00:31:57,305 --> 00:32:57,564 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP