1
00:00:09,601 --> 00:00:12,319
Well, here we are.
Hedgewick's World -
2
00:00:12,377 --> 00:00:15,775
the biggest and best amusement
park there will ever be
3
00:00:15,777 --> 00:00:17,815
and we've got a golden ticket!
4
00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:20,495
Eh, eh? Fun! Fun?
5
00:00:20,497 --> 00:00:23,415
Your stupid box can't even get us
to the right place.
6
00:00:23,417 --> 00:00:26,695
This is, like, a moon base or
something. It's not the moon.
7
00:00:26,697 --> 00:00:30,535
Actually, I think it does
look like the moon. Only dirtier.
8
00:00:30,537 --> 00:00:33,255
Hey, guys it's not the moon, OK?
9
00:00:33,257 --> 00:00:35,495
It's a Spacey Zoomer ride, or it
was.
10
00:00:35,497 --> 00:00:39,375
Psst! 'Scuse I. I don't suppose you
happen to be my lift off planet?
11
00:00:39,377 --> 00:00:42,175
Dave's Discount Interstellar
Removals? 'Fraid not.
12
00:00:42,177 --> 00:00:44,335
They were meant to be here six
months ago.
13
00:00:44,337 --> 00:00:46,375
That's Dave for you, see,
unreliable.
14
00:00:46,377 --> 00:00:48,895
Stay where you are! Oops.
15
00:00:48,897 --> 00:00:52,495
Throw down your weapons
and identify yourselves.
16
00:00:52,497 --> 00:00:54,935
No. No weapons! Golden ticket!
17
00:00:54,937 --> 00:00:57,055
Spacey Zoomer? Free ice cream?
18
00:00:57,057 --> 00:01:00,935
Who are you? This planet is closed,
by Imperial order.
19
00:01:00,937 --> 00:01:02,935
How's this?
20
00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:06,695
Oh. Welcome, Proconsul. I wish
they'd told us you were coming.
21
00:01:06,697 --> 00:01:08,175
Any news of the Emperor?
22
00:01:08,177 --> 00:01:12,095
Oh, the Emperor... No, no,
none that you'd, er...
23
00:01:12,097 --> 00:01:13,655
We pray for his return.
24
00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:17,135
If there is anything you need,
my platoon is at your service.
25
00:01:17,137 --> 00:01:20,415
Right! Righty-oh.
Well, carry on, Captain.
26
00:01:20,417 --> 00:01:23,055
Platoon, let's move out.
27
00:01:23,057 --> 00:01:26,215
On the double. Two, three, four!
Two, three, four!
28
00:01:26,217 --> 00:01:27,537
Two, three, four!
29
00:01:29,257 --> 00:01:30,455
Have they gone?
30
00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:31,495
Yes.
31
00:01:31,497 --> 00:01:34,137
Uniforms give me
the heebie-jeebies. Come on.
32
00:01:37,137 --> 00:01:39,655
They can't stop me being here,
but they don't like it.
33
00:01:39,657 --> 00:01:42,815
Ha-ha! You see?
34
00:01:42,817 --> 00:01:45,975
I told you it was amazing.
Well, it used to be.
35
00:01:45,977 --> 00:01:48,895
It closed down. Wish I'd known
that before I landed here.
36
00:01:48,897 --> 00:01:51,535
But let me show you my collection.
37
00:01:51,537 --> 00:01:54,697
Come along, follow me,
this way. This way in, come on.
38
00:01:55,697 --> 00:01:56,895
Welcome to my show...
39
00:01:56,897 --> 00:02:02,575
Webley's World of Wonders. Miracles,
marvels and more await you.
40
00:02:02,577 --> 00:02:04,337
I am impresario Webley.
41
00:02:06,217 --> 00:02:12,495
You see before you waxwork
representations of the famous...
42
00:02:12,497 --> 00:02:14,855
and the infamous.
43
00:02:14,857 --> 00:02:16,857
Anybody here play chess?
44
00:02:18,297 --> 00:02:19,855
Perhaps you, young man?
45
00:02:19,857 --> 00:02:21,975
Actually, I'm in my school
chess club.
46
00:02:21,977 --> 00:02:23,537
Ah, follow me.
47
00:02:27,337 --> 00:02:31,455
Now, let me demonstrate to you all
the wonder of the age,
48
00:02:31,457 --> 00:02:33,215
the miracle of modernity.
49
00:02:33,217 --> 00:02:35,815
We defeated them all,
a thousand years ago.
50
00:02:35,817 --> 00:02:40,055
But now he's back, to destroy you.
51
00:02:40,057 --> 00:02:42,535
Behold! The enemy!
52
00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:44,377
Cyberman! Get down!
53
00:02:47,145 --> 00:02:57,145
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
54
00:03:20,497 --> 00:03:22,455
No need to panic, my young friends.
55
00:03:22,457 --> 00:03:24,695
We all know there are no more
living Cybermen.
56
00:03:24,697 --> 00:03:30,695
What you are seeing is a miracle -
the 699th wonder of the universe.
57
00:03:30,697 --> 00:03:33,415
As displayed before the Imperial
court,
58
00:03:33,417 --> 00:03:36,255
and only here to destroy you -
at chess!
59
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:38,495
Careful now. An empty shell.
60
00:03:38,497 --> 00:03:40,855
And yet it moves.
61
00:03:40,857 --> 00:03:42,855
How? Magic.
62
00:03:42,857 --> 00:03:45,735
That might well be, young lady.
63
00:03:45,737 --> 00:03:50,775
A single penny wins you five
Imperial shillings
64
00:03:50,777 --> 00:03:55,095
if you can beat
this empty shell at chess.
65
00:03:55,097 --> 00:03:58,695
I haven't got a penny.
But I've got a sandwich.
66
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,457
All right, take a seat.
67
00:04:01,817 --> 00:04:07,337
It is free of all devices,
and yet it has never been beaten.
68
00:04:08,737 --> 00:04:11,657
Would you like to make the first
move, young man?
69
00:04:17,537 --> 00:04:20,415
Oh, no, Artie.
No, don't do that, it...
70
00:04:20,417 --> 00:04:22,977
It's a fool's mate.
71
00:04:24,457 --> 00:04:28,135
If you can tell me how it works,
I'll give you a silver penny.
72
00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:30,457
I think... you do it with mirrors.
73
00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:36,855
Hmm, mirrors, clever girl.
Well, let's see, hey? Low tech.
74
00:04:36,857 --> 00:04:40,337
It's a puppet, monofilament strings,
which means the brains are in...
75
00:04:42,137 --> 00:04:46,497
Hello. Hello. I'm the brains. Hello.
Give us a hand.
76
00:04:51,097 --> 00:04:53,215
They call me Porridge.
77
00:04:53,217 --> 00:04:55,415
Ah, it's good to be out of that box.
78
00:04:55,417 --> 00:04:59,937
For you, Miss... an Imperial penny.
79
00:05:04,897 --> 00:05:08,217
I have not one
but THREE Cybermen in my collection.
80
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,815
Is that the king? Emperor.
81
00:05:12,817 --> 00:05:16,895
Ludens Nimrod Kendrick, etc, etc,
the 41st - defender of humanity,
82
00:05:16,897 --> 00:05:19,975
imperator of known space.
He looks a bit full of himself.
83
00:05:19,977 --> 00:05:22,295
Don't say things like that
about the Imperial family -
84
00:05:22,297 --> 00:05:24,375
you can end up on the run
for the rest of your life.
85
00:05:24,377 --> 00:05:26,615
They don't sound very nice.
86
00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:29,575
Go on. If the kids want to ride
the Spacey Zoomer,
87
00:05:29,577 --> 00:05:31,815
then I can operate
the gravity console.
88
00:05:31,817 --> 00:05:33,137
Angie!
89
00:05:38,097 --> 00:05:40,775
Whoa!
90
00:05:40,777 --> 00:05:44,057
Smile! Say, "Spacey Zoomer!"
91
00:05:46,897 --> 00:05:49,297
We're flying! Having a good time?
92
00:05:56,377 --> 00:05:59,415
I think that was the most fun
I've had in my whole life.
93
00:05:59,417 --> 00:06:01,135
It was...
94
00:06:01,137 --> 00:06:02,497
OK.
95
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,975
Clara? I think outer space is
actually very interesting.
96
00:06:06,977 --> 00:06:10,095
Right, wonderful day out, Doctor,
but it's time to get the kids home.
97
00:06:10,097 --> 00:06:13,255
Yeah. Um, no.
Not actually ready to leave.
98
00:06:13,257 --> 00:06:16,415
Why not? I dunno. Reasons.
99
00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:18,895
What reasons? Insects. Funny insects.
100
00:06:18,897 --> 00:06:21,615
I should add them
to my funny insect collection.
101
00:06:21,617 --> 00:06:24,855
You collect funny insects?
Yeah, I'm starting to.
102
00:06:24,857 --> 00:06:26,337
Right now.
103
00:06:27,577 --> 00:06:29,975
How long do we have to stay here?
104
00:06:29,977 --> 00:06:33,095
Not long. Have a nap. I'll wake you
when we're ready to leave.
105
00:06:33,097 --> 00:06:34,935
Comfy? Sleep well.
106
00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:36,257
Good night.
107
00:06:40,217 --> 00:06:41,975
Don't wander off.
108
00:06:41,977 --> 00:06:44,975
I'm not just saying,
"Don't wander off" - I MEAN it.
109
00:06:44,977 --> 00:06:48,775
Otherwise you'll wander off,
and the next thing you know,
110
00:06:48,777 --> 00:06:51,815
somebody's going to have to start
rescuing somebody.
111
00:06:51,817 --> 00:06:55,337
From what? Nothing. Nobody needs
rescuing from anything.
112
00:06:56,737 --> 00:06:58,855
Don't wander off.
113
00:06:58,857 --> 00:07:00,097
Sweet dreams.
114
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:13,815
Mmm. Mmm!
115
00:07:13,817 --> 00:07:16,855
Total takings for the day -
one sandwich.
116
00:07:16,857 --> 00:07:18,695
Better than no sandwich, of course.
117
00:07:18,697 --> 00:07:21,977
Not as good as TWO sandwiches,
or even a chicken...
118
00:07:23,257 --> 00:07:24,895
That's a bit odd.
119
00:07:24,897 --> 00:07:27,857
That's not funny,
give me my hands back.
120
00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:41,215
Upgrade in progress!
121
00:07:41,217 --> 00:07:43,535
I HATE the future. It's stupid.
122
00:07:43,537 --> 00:07:46,215
There's not even phone service.
I'm out of here.
123
00:07:46,217 --> 00:07:47,775
The Doctor said to not wander off.
124
00:07:47,777 --> 00:07:49,615
He said that,
125
00:07:49,617 --> 00:07:52,415
and then he wandered off.
I don't think Clara would like that.
126
00:07:52,417 --> 00:07:55,257
She's not our mum.
Don't leave me here.
127
00:07:58,377 --> 00:08:01,455
Was this really the biggest
amusement park in the universe?
128
00:08:01,457 --> 00:08:03,335
Yeah. Hedgewick bought the planet
cheap.
129
00:08:03,337 --> 00:08:06,335
It'd been trashed in the Cyber-Wars.
Who were we fighting?
130
00:08:06,337 --> 00:08:10,455
Cybermen. Technologically upgraded
warriors. We couldn't win.
131
00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:11,855
Sometimes we fought to a draw,
132
00:08:11,857 --> 00:08:15,335
but then they'd upgrade themselves,
fix their weaknesses and destroy us.
133
00:08:15,337 --> 00:08:18,455
It's hard to fight an enemy that
uses your armies as spare parts.
134
00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:21,375
You beat them, though - beat them
or you wouldn't be here. How?
135
00:08:21,377 --> 00:08:25,055
Look up there - that corner
of the sky. What do you see?
136
00:08:25,057 --> 00:08:27,135
Nothing. It's just black.
137
00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:29,575
No stars, no nothing.
138
00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:34,135
Used to be the Tiberion Spiral
Galaxy. A million star systems.
139
00:08:34,137 --> 00:08:37,455
A hundred million worlds.
A billion trillion people.
140
00:08:37,457 --> 00:08:42,177
It's not there any more. No more
Tiberion galaxy. No more Cybermen.
141
00:08:43,777 --> 00:08:45,215
It was effective.
142
00:08:45,217 --> 00:08:48,055
It's horrible. Yeah.
143
00:08:48,057 --> 00:08:50,015
I feel like a monster sometimes.
144
00:08:50,017 --> 00:08:51,255
Why?
145
00:08:51,257 --> 00:08:54,335
Because instead of mourning
a billion trillion dead people,
146
00:08:54,337 --> 00:08:56,135
I just feel sorry for the poor
blighter
147
00:08:56,137 --> 00:08:58,255
who had to press the button
and blow it all up.
148
00:08:58,257 --> 00:09:01,695
Clara! Did you tell Angie
she could go to the barracks?
149
00:09:01,697 --> 00:09:03,135
You KNOW I didn't.
150
00:09:03,137 --> 00:09:05,975
She hasn't...
She's just gone in there.
151
00:09:05,977 --> 00:09:07,817
Come on.
152
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,895
I can't fix this.
It can't be broken.
153
00:09:12,897 --> 00:09:15,415
It's a solid state sub-ether
ansible class communicator.
154
00:09:15,417 --> 00:09:16,975
Just run the diagnostics.
155
00:09:16,977 --> 00:09:20,575
There's nothing left to diagnose.
It's not broken. It's empty.
156
00:09:20,577 --> 00:09:24,175
All the components have gone. Well,
you must have replacement parts.
157
00:09:24,177 --> 00:09:25,775
Not enough to build a new one.
158
00:09:25,777 --> 00:09:28,455
Captain, the weather-controller
is malfunctioning again.
159
00:09:28,457 --> 00:09:30,055
There's storms, heat waves, snow.
160
00:09:30,057 --> 00:09:34,095
Hello. I'm bored!
161
00:09:34,097 --> 00:09:35,855
Where's your big sister?
162
00:09:35,857 --> 00:09:39,215
Clara? She's not my sister.
She's stupid.
163
00:09:39,217 --> 00:09:41,215
She's talking to Porridge.
164
00:09:41,217 --> 00:09:43,135
She talks to her porridge?
165
00:09:43,137 --> 00:09:45,057
Porridge. That little bloke.
166
00:09:47,897 --> 00:09:49,457
We need to have a chat.
167
00:09:55,257 --> 00:09:57,777
I'm not scared, if you're wondering.
168
00:09:58,897 --> 00:10:01,537
I just think I ought to turn
the lights back on.
169
00:10:37,657 --> 00:10:39,615
So, tell me about the little bloke.
170
00:10:39,617 --> 00:10:41,335
Well, you must have seen him.
171
00:10:41,337 --> 00:10:44,495
Angie, Angie! She has to turn up
and spoil everything!
172
00:10:44,497 --> 00:10:48,097
I wasn't doing anything!
Why can't you just leave me alone?!
173
00:10:51,897 --> 00:10:53,215
Cyberman!
174
00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:55,615
Angie!
175
00:10:55,617 --> 00:10:57,217
Attack formation!
176
00:10:58,697 --> 00:11:00,097
No!
177
00:11:02,417 --> 00:11:04,377
Attack formation - quickly!
178
00:11:07,937 --> 00:11:10,535
Upgrade in progress!
179
00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:12,257
Angie!
180
00:11:26,097 --> 00:11:27,255
Angie! Clara, Clara...!
181
00:11:27,257 --> 00:11:29,375
That was a Cyberman!
But they're extinct.
182
00:11:29,377 --> 00:11:32,657
Listen to me, I will get her back.
Captain, a word, please.
183
00:11:34,097 --> 00:11:35,695
Now, correct me if I'm wrong,
184
00:11:35,697 --> 00:11:38,415
but I take it your platoon
doesn't do much fighting?
185
00:11:38,417 --> 00:11:40,335
What do you expect? What?
186
00:11:40,337 --> 00:11:41,695
We're a punishment platoon.
187
00:11:41,697 --> 00:11:44,457
It's why they sent us out here,
so we can't get into trouble.
188
00:11:46,857 --> 00:11:49,815
Ah, right, right, well, OK.
As Imperial Consul,
189
00:11:49,817 --> 00:11:51,935
I am putting Clara in charge.
190
00:11:51,937 --> 00:11:53,495
Clara, stay alive until I get back,
191
00:11:53,497 --> 00:11:56,615
and don't let anyone blow up
this planet.
192
00:11:56,617 --> 00:11:58,415
Is that something
they're likely to do?
193
00:11:58,417 --> 00:12:00,695
Get to somewhere defensible.
Where are YOU going?
194
00:12:00,697 --> 00:12:04,375
I'm getting Angie, finding Artie
and looking for funny insects.
195
00:12:04,377 --> 00:12:08,857
Stay alive. And you lot,
no blowing up this planet!
196
00:12:14,457 --> 00:12:15,937
Put me down! I hate you!
197
00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:21,057
Artie? Artie, what's happening?
198
00:12:24,057 --> 00:12:25,695
Please stand by.
199
00:12:25,697 --> 00:12:28,137
You will be upgraded.
200
00:12:33,257 --> 00:12:36,655
Cyberiad class weaponry.
I've taken it out of storage.
201
00:12:36,657 --> 00:12:40,855
Good. We need to find somewhere
defensible. Where?
202
00:12:40,857 --> 00:12:44,415
The beach, the Giant's Cauldron...
203
00:12:44,417 --> 00:12:46,455
Natty Longshoe's Comical Castle.
204
00:12:46,457 --> 00:12:48,615
Real castle? Drawbridge? Moat?
205
00:12:48,617 --> 00:12:50,095
Yes. But comical.
206
00:12:50,097 --> 00:12:51,815
We'll go there.
207
00:12:51,817 --> 00:12:54,575
Ma'am... My platoon can deal
with one Cyberman.
208
00:12:54,577 --> 00:12:57,695
And there are protocols if we cannot
immediately find and destroy it.
209
00:12:57,697 --> 00:13:00,495
Blowing-up-the-planet protocols?
Respectfully, ma'am...
210
00:13:00,497 --> 00:13:02,735
Somewhere defensible.
No blowing up the planet.
211
00:13:02,737 --> 00:13:06,097
She's your commanding officer now,
isn't she, Captain?
212
00:13:10,017 --> 00:13:11,417
Yes...
213
00:13:12,737 --> 00:13:13,897
sir.
214
00:13:17,897 --> 00:13:20,375
You really saw a Cyberman?
We really did.
215
00:13:20,377 --> 00:13:23,535
Have you reported it
to the Imperium? No communicators.
216
00:13:23,537 --> 00:13:25,535
So you're going to do what she says.
217
00:13:25,537 --> 00:13:28,777
Right, let's all spend the night
at Natty Longshoe's Comical Castle.
218
00:13:30,737 --> 00:13:31,937
Artie?
219
00:13:39,697 --> 00:13:41,175
Firstly,
220
00:13:41,177 --> 00:13:42,935
if anybody's watching this,
221
00:13:42,937 --> 00:13:46,575
those children are under my
protection. I'm coming to get them.
222
00:13:46,577 --> 00:13:48,935
And secondly...
223
00:13:48,937 --> 00:13:50,537
little metal machine...
224
00:13:51,977 --> 00:13:54,417
you are beautiful.
225
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,497
Not even a Cybermat any more, eh?
226
00:14:07,217 --> 00:14:08,777
Cybermites?
227
00:14:14,857 --> 00:14:19,015
Now... there's a local transmat link
open to your home.
228
00:14:19,017 --> 00:14:21,297
If I can just find the frequency...
229
00:14:24,737 --> 00:14:26,495
Hey, that really shouldn't
have worked.
230
00:14:26,497 --> 00:14:28,817
Doctor, help us. Angie! Artie!
231
00:14:34,577 --> 00:14:39,455
Webley? We needed children,
but the children had stopped coming.
232
00:14:39,457 --> 00:14:41,175
You brought us children.
233
00:14:41,177 --> 00:14:45,897
Hail to you, the Doctor,
saviour of the Cybermen!
234
00:14:47,097 --> 00:14:50,095
What would the Empire do
if they WERE alerted? I told you -
235
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:51,655
tell me to blow up the planet.
236
00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:53,615
After they got us off?
237
00:14:53,617 --> 00:14:57,535
Captain, you want to take that one?
No, ma'am. Just blow the sucker up.
238
00:14:57,537 --> 00:14:59,495
Drawbridge, moat - brilliant.
239
00:14:59,497 --> 00:15:02,535
With respect, ma'am,
we ought to be hunting the creature.
240
00:15:02,537 --> 00:15:05,775
The only reason I'm still alive is
because I do what the Doctor says.
241
00:15:05,777 --> 00:15:09,655
Can you guarantee me you'd bring
back my children alive and unharmed?
242
00:15:09,657 --> 00:15:12,495
I trust the Doctor.
You think he knows what he's doing?
243
00:15:12,497 --> 00:15:14,097
I'm not sure I'd go THAT far.
244
00:15:16,577 --> 00:15:20,055
As the battle raged
between humanity and the Cyberiad,
245
00:15:20,057 --> 00:15:24,175
the Cyber-Planners built a Valkyrie,
to save critically damaged units
246
00:15:24,177 --> 00:15:28,415
and bring them here
and, one by one, repair them.
247
00:15:28,417 --> 00:15:30,895
The people who vanished
from the amusement park -
248
00:15:30,897 --> 00:15:33,255
they were spare parts
249
00:15:33,257 --> 00:15:34,535
for repairs.
250
00:15:34,537 --> 00:15:38,015
We've upgraded ourselves.
The next model will be undefeatable.
251
00:15:38,017 --> 00:15:40,455
Nothing's undefeatable.
252
00:15:40,457 --> 00:15:44,135
We needed children
to build a new Cyber-Planner.
253
00:15:44,137 --> 00:15:49,535
A child's brain, with its infinite
potential, is perfect for our needs.
254
00:15:49,537 --> 00:15:51,135
But we no longer need the children.
255
00:15:51,137 --> 00:15:54,975
The Cybermites have been scanning
YOUR brain, Doctor.
256
00:15:54,977 --> 00:15:56,255
It's quite remarkable.
257
00:15:56,257 --> 00:16:00,495
Also completely useless to you.
Cybermen use human parts.
258
00:16:00,497 --> 00:16:03,695
I'm not human.
259
00:16:03,697 --> 00:16:05,895
You can't convert non-humans.
260
00:16:05,897 --> 00:16:09,815
Well, that was true a long time ago.
But we've upgraded ourselves.
261
00:16:09,817 --> 00:16:13,697
Current Cyber units use
almost any living components.
262
00:16:20,937 --> 00:16:22,737
Aaaargh!
263
00:16:28,817 --> 00:16:30,537
Incorporated. Yes.
264
00:16:32,457 --> 00:16:34,695
Unfamiliar pulmonary set-up.
265
00:16:34,697 --> 00:16:36,735
Nervous system hyperconductive.
266
00:16:36,737 --> 00:16:39,057
Remarkable brain processing speed.
267
00:16:40,617 --> 00:16:44,657
Ooh! Amazing!
268
00:16:46,097 --> 00:16:49,895
Get out of my head!
Stop rummaging in my mind!
269
00:16:49,897 --> 00:16:54,535
Just you try and stop me.
Ooh, who's Clara?
270
00:16:54,537 --> 00:16:58,175
Why are you thinking about her
so much? Enough!
271
00:16:58,177 --> 00:17:01,697
Fascinating. A complete
mental block. Highly effective.
272
00:17:03,057 --> 00:17:04,615
Relax, relax.
273
00:17:04,617 --> 00:17:08,615
If you just relax, you will find this
a perfectly pleasant experience.
274
00:17:08,617 --> 00:17:09,855
You are being upgraded
275
00:17:09,857 --> 00:17:13,335
and incorporated into the Cyberiad
as a Cyber-Planner.
276
00:17:13,337 --> 00:17:16,375
Get out of my head!
277
00:17:16,377 --> 00:17:18,775
What is this place?
A network? A hive?
278
00:17:18,777 --> 00:17:21,415
You're getting signals
from every Cyberman everywhere.
279
00:17:21,417 --> 00:17:22,857
How many of you are there?
280
00:17:25,777 --> 00:17:29,535
Oh... this is brilliant!
281
00:17:29,537 --> 00:17:34,135
I'm so clever already, and now
I'm a million times more clever.
282
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:38,655
And what a brain! Not a human brain,
not even SLIGHTLY human.
283
00:17:38,657 --> 00:17:42,175
I mean, I'll have to completely
rewrite the neural interface,
284
00:17:42,177 --> 00:17:49,975
but this is going to be
the most efficient Cyber-Planner!
285
00:17:49,977 --> 00:17:51,735
Not a great name, that, is it?
286
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:55,895
I could call myself Mr Clever.
287
00:17:55,897 --> 00:17:59,415
So much raw data... Time Lords.
288
00:17:59,417 --> 00:18:04,095
There's information on the Time Lords
in here!
289
00:18:04,097 --> 00:18:07,535
Oh, this is just dreamy!
290
00:18:07,537 --> 00:18:12,577
Right, I'm allowing you access to
memories on Time Lord regeneration.
291
00:18:17,657 --> 00:18:19,255
Fantastic!
292
00:18:19,257 --> 00:18:20,975
I could regenerate now.
293
00:18:20,977 --> 00:18:22,735
Big blast of regeneration energy,
294
00:18:22,737 --> 00:18:25,015
burn out any little Cyber widgets
in my brain,
295
00:18:25,017 --> 00:18:26,935
along with everything
you're connected to.
296
00:18:26,937 --> 00:18:30,295
Don't want to. You diss me up,
who knows what we'll get next?
297
00:18:30,297 --> 00:18:31,737
But I can.
298
00:18:33,977 --> 00:18:36,215
Stalemate, then.
299
00:18:36,217 --> 00:18:39,655
One of us needs to control this head.
300
00:18:39,657 --> 00:18:41,495
We're too well-balanced.
301
00:18:41,497 --> 00:18:42,935
What did you say?
302
00:18:42,937 --> 00:18:45,055
No, no, no, I heard you.
303
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:48,295
Rhetorical device to keep me
thinking about it a bit more.
304
00:18:48,297 --> 00:18:50,095
Stalemate.
305
00:18:50,097 --> 00:18:53,215
We each control 49.881%
of this brain.
306
00:18:53,217 --> 00:18:56,015
0.238 of the brain
is still in the balance.
307
00:18:56,017 --> 00:18:57,935
Whoever gets this
gets the whole thing.
308
00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:01,135
Do you play chess? The rules of
chess are in my memory banks.
309
00:19:01,137 --> 00:19:03,455
You're proposing we play chess
to end the stalemate?
310
00:19:03,457 --> 00:19:05,895
Winner takes all.
Nobody can access that portion
311
00:19:05,897 --> 00:19:07,817
of the brain without winning
the game.
312
00:19:11,537 --> 00:19:12,937
You can't win!
313
00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:15,895
Try me.
314
00:19:15,897 --> 00:19:21,495
You understand, when I DO win,
the Cyberiad gets your brains
315
00:19:21,497 --> 00:19:24,337
and memories. All of it.
316
00:19:25,897 --> 00:19:28,055
When I win, you get out of my head,
317
00:19:28,057 --> 00:19:30,455
you let the children go,
318
00:19:30,457 --> 00:19:33,455
and nobody dies.
319
00:19:33,457 --> 00:19:37,417
You got that? Nobody dies!
320
00:19:43,497 --> 00:19:45,975
'Castle's clear.
Missy, confirm status.'
321
00:19:45,977 --> 00:19:48,297
All clear in the power station.
322
00:19:53,377 --> 00:19:55,055
It's Missy.
323
00:19:55,057 --> 00:19:57,335
Something's out there.
324
00:19:57,337 --> 00:19:59,495
'What do you mean?
Is it the Cyberman?'
325
00:19:59,497 --> 00:20:02,415
I don't know. I couldn't see it.
It was only for a moment.
326
00:20:02,417 --> 00:20:05,337
Can I hide? Is it OK if I hide?
327
00:20:07,577 --> 00:20:09,977
DON'T MOVE! I'M IN THE ARMY!
328
00:20:35,097 --> 00:20:38,815
Erm, ma'am, Missy said she saw
something, and then she went quiet.
329
00:20:38,817 --> 00:20:41,617
It's on its way, then.
Weapons! Show me.
330
00:20:42,817 --> 00:20:44,055
Only one gun?
331
00:20:44,057 --> 00:20:46,535
Cybermen have been extinct
for 1,000 years.
332
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:49,295
Even one Anti-Cyber Gun
is a miracle.
333
00:20:49,297 --> 00:20:50,935
These things are hand-pulsars.
334
00:20:50,937 --> 00:20:52,815
Touch the back of a Cyberman's head,
335
00:20:52,817 --> 00:20:55,377
the electromagnetic pulse
deactivates it.
336
00:20:56,417 --> 00:21:00,175
What's this for? Just a mad guess
here - it blows up the planet?
337
00:21:00,177 --> 00:21:02,015
Implodes it.
There's also a trigger unit.
338
00:21:02,017 --> 00:21:05,575
I'll have that, then. Is there any
other way to activate the bomb?
339
00:21:05,577 --> 00:21:08,655
It's set to respond to MY voice.
I have the verbal code.
340
00:21:08,657 --> 00:21:11,137
You will not activate it
without a direct order from me.
341
00:21:16,017 --> 00:21:17,975
I will follow my orders.
342
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:21,257
Your orders come from me.
Don't they?
343
00:21:24,137 --> 00:21:26,895
You'll need to sign
for that trigger unit, ma'am.
344
00:21:26,897 --> 00:21:28,295
Thanks.
345
00:21:28,297 --> 00:21:30,417
Mind if I take one of these?
Might be handy.
346
00:21:32,737 --> 00:21:36,457
Help yourself. I'll teach you
how to use it. Upstairs. Now.
347
00:21:40,697 --> 00:21:42,457
There. That was easy.
348
00:21:44,057 --> 00:21:47,295
The game... has just started.
349
00:21:47,297 --> 00:21:48,695
Doctor...
350
00:21:48,697 --> 00:21:52,215
why is there no record of you
anywhere in the databanks
351
00:21:52,217 --> 00:21:53,817
of the Cyberiad?
352
00:21:55,617 --> 00:21:58,335
Oh. You're good.
353
00:21:58,337 --> 00:22:01,655
You've been eliminating yourself
from history.
354
00:22:01,657 --> 00:22:05,697
You know, you could be reconstructed
by the hole you've left.
355
00:22:09,217 --> 00:22:12,095
Good point.
I'll do something about that.
356
00:22:12,097 --> 00:22:14,855
The rules of chess allow
only a finite number of moves.
357
00:22:14,857 --> 00:22:17,295
And I can use other Cyber units
as remote processors.
358
00:22:17,297 --> 00:22:19,055
You cannot possibly win.
359
00:22:19,057 --> 00:22:21,055
I can. I know things you don't.
360
00:22:21,057 --> 00:22:23,455
For example, did you know...
361
00:22:23,457 --> 00:22:26,535
very early versions of the
Cyber operating system could be
362
00:22:26,537 --> 00:22:30,375
seriously scrambled by exposure to
things, like gold or cleaning fluid?
363
00:22:30,377 --> 00:22:35,655
And what's interesting is, you're
still running some of that code.
364
00:22:35,657 --> 00:22:37,455
Really?
365
00:22:37,457 --> 00:22:39,937
That's your secret weapon?
366
00:22:41,657 --> 00:22:43,097
Cleaning fluid?
367
00:22:44,977 --> 00:22:47,295
Nope. Gold.
368
00:22:47,297 --> 00:22:49,775
Ho-ho! Like a charm.
369
00:22:49,777 --> 00:22:51,335
Right, you, Cyber... Webley.
370
00:22:51,337 --> 00:22:53,815
And you, kid... things.
371
00:22:53,817 --> 00:22:57,257
I'll bring the chessboard.
Let's get out of here.
372
00:22:59,377 --> 00:23:01,377
You knew it was me.
373
00:23:03,497 --> 00:23:06,935
I was in the Imperial Guard
on Caspertine. Mostly just parades.
374
00:23:06,937 --> 00:23:09,495
But I had the honour
to guard the old Emperor
375
00:23:09,497 --> 00:23:10,815
during the ice picnic.
376
00:23:10,817 --> 00:23:14,095
When the snow bears came and danced
for us. That was a day.
377
00:23:14,097 --> 00:23:17,055
We're a punishment platoon.
We can't beat a Cyberman.
378
00:23:17,057 --> 00:23:19,455
The Imperium has to know
what's happening.
379
00:23:19,457 --> 00:23:21,455
Like you said,
the communicators are out.
380
00:23:21,457 --> 00:23:24,095
The only way you can report this now
is to activate the bomb.
381
00:23:24,097 --> 00:23:26,815
Yes. And I forbid you to do that.
382
00:23:26,817 --> 00:23:29,415
I don't get it. Why
would you blow up a whole planet,
383
00:23:29,417 --> 00:23:32,135
and everybody on it,
just to get rid of one Cyberman?
384
00:23:32,137 --> 00:23:35,015
We tried other ways.
But they only work sometimes.
385
00:23:35,017 --> 00:23:37,855
So now we take drastic action.
And it works.
386
00:23:37,857 --> 00:23:41,975
If you find a Cyberman and
you can't destroy it immediately,
387
00:23:41,977 --> 00:23:44,135
you implode the planet.
388
00:23:44,137 --> 00:23:46,655
I was sent here
because I didn't follow orders.
389
00:23:46,657 --> 00:23:48,737
I can make up for that.
390
00:23:51,617 --> 00:23:53,015
Put it down, I forbid you!
391
00:23:53,017 --> 00:23:55,015
Yeah. What she said.
392
00:23:55,017 --> 00:23:57,455
You ran away. I will do
what I was brought up to do.
393
00:23:57,457 --> 00:24:00,775
Live for the Empire, fight
for the Empire, die for the Empire.
394
00:24:00,777 --> 00:24:06,295
This is Captain Alice Ferrin,
Imperial ID 19-delta-13B.
395
00:24:06,297 --> 00:24:07,415
Activate...
396
00:24:07,417 --> 00:24:09,337
Cyberman! Get down!
397
00:24:19,737 --> 00:24:22,175
The Doctor said to get somewhere
easily defensible.
398
00:24:22,177 --> 00:24:24,735
But if we stay in the castle,
it'll pick us off one by one.
399
00:24:24,737 --> 00:24:27,937
We have to take it out.
Is that an order, ma'am?
400
00:24:31,737 --> 00:24:34,255
Yes. Good.
401
00:24:34,257 --> 00:24:35,935
You know what to do.
402
00:24:35,937 --> 00:24:37,775
Pulse to the back of the head.
403
00:24:37,777 --> 00:24:39,495
Fry the brain circuit interface.
404
00:24:39,497 --> 00:24:42,057
It's going to be hard
to get in close enough.
405
00:25:18,417 --> 00:25:21,735
I've heard about the Cybermen
since I was in my cradle.
406
00:25:21,737 --> 00:25:24,135
I'm not afraid of you!
407
00:25:24,137 --> 00:25:25,177
Now!
408
00:25:32,137 --> 00:25:34,337
Hold it right there!
What's happening to them?
409
00:25:39,297 --> 00:25:41,295
One more step, and I fire!
410
00:25:41,297 --> 00:25:43,095
Don't fire that.
411
00:25:43,097 --> 00:25:46,935
A pulse will deactivate them.
And anyway...
412
00:25:46,937 --> 00:25:49,135
it's a waste of charge.
We may need it again.
413
00:25:49,137 --> 00:25:51,177
You don't think
that was the only one, then?
414
00:25:58,457 --> 00:26:00,495
Don't shoot, don't shoot! I'm nice!
415
00:26:00,497 --> 00:26:03,655
Please, don't shoot! Hey, Clara, you
haven't let them blow up the planet.
416
00:26:03,657 --> 00:26:07,095
Good job. Did you get the kids?
Are they all right?
417
00:26:07,097 --> 00:26:09,775
What's going on? Bit of
a good news/bad news/good news again
418
00:26:09,777 --> 00:26:13,055
thing going on. So... Good news -
I've kidnapped their Cyber-Planner,
419
00:26:13,057 --> 00:26:15,535
and right now I'm sort of
in control of this Cyberman.
420
00:26:15,537 --> 00:26:18,535
Bad news? Bad news -
the Cyber-Planner's in my head.
421
00:26:18,537 --> 00:26:25,375
And DIFFERENT bad news - the kids
are... Well, it's complicated.
422
00:26:25,377 --> 00:26:27,015
Complicated how?
423
00:26:27,017 --> 00:26:30,137
Complicated, as in walking coma.
424
00:26:35,257 --> 00:26:37,415
Please tell me you can wake them up.
Hope so.
425
00:26:37,417 --> 00:26:39,655
Other good news?
Well, in other good news,
426
00:26:39,657 --> 00:26:43,175
there are a few more repaired and
reactivated Cybermen on the way.
427
00:26:43,177 --> 00:26:46,055
And the Cyber-Planner's installing
a patch for the gold thing.
428
00:26:46,057 --> 00:26:49,775
No, wait, that isn't not good news,
is it? Um, so...
429
00:26:49,777 --> 00:26:52,775
Good news - I have a very good
chance of winning my chess match.
430
00:26:52,777 --> 00:26:56,015
What? I'll explain later.
In a bit of a hurry.
431
00:26:56,017 --> 00:26:57,495
Get me to a table.
432
00:26:57,497 --> 00:26:59,535
And somebody tie me up!
433
00:26:59,537 --> 00:27:01,057
Need hands free for chess.
434
00:27:02,737 --> 00:27:04,335
And immobilise me.
435
00:27:04,337 --> 00:27:05,737
Quickly.
436
00:27:06,897 --> 00:27:09,855
Right, that's good. I won't be able
to move, but... hands free. Good.
437
00:27:09,857 --> 00:27:12,497
You're playing chess with yourself?
And winning.
438
00:27:13,817 --> 00:27:15,815
Actually,
439
00:27:15,817 --> 00:27:17,215
he has no better than a 25% chance
440
00:27:17,217 --> 00:27:19,215
of winning at this stage
in the game.
441
00:27:19,217 --> 00:27:22,815
Some very dodgy moves
at the beginning. Hello, flesh-girl.
442
00:27:22,817 --> 00:27:25,855
Fantastic! I'm the Cyber-Planner.
443
00:27:25,857 --> 00:27:29,135
Doctor...? Afraid not.
I'm working the mouth now. Allons-y!
444
00:27:29,137 --> 00:27:31,615
Oh, you should see
the state of these neurons -
445
00:27:31,617 --> 00:27:33,895
he's had some cowboys in here.
Ten complete re-jigs.
446
00:27:33,897 --> 00:27:37,975
You aren't the Doctor.
No, but I know who YOU are.
447
00:27:37,977 --> 00:27:39,857
You're the impossible girl.
448
00:27:40,897 --> 00:27:44,135
Ooh, he's very interested in you.
449
00:27:44,137 --> 00:27:45,575
Why am I impossible?
450
00:27:45,577 --> 00:27:47,695
Hasn't he told you? The sly devil.
451
00:27:47,697 --> 00:27:50,975
Oh, dear me. Soon, we wake, we'll
strip you down for spare parts,
452
00:27:50,977 --> 00:27:52,935
then build a spaceship and move on.
453
00:27:52,937 --> 00:27:55,895
More Cybermen? They're waking
from their tomb right now.
454
00:27:55,897 --> 00:27:58,295
You can either die
or live on as one of us.
455
00:27:58,297 --> 00:28:01,455
The Doctor will stop you.
He can't even access the lips.
456
00:28:01,457 --> 00:28:03,935
Owwww!
457
00:28:03,937 --> 00:28:06,535
Ow! Oh, that hurt! No, stop!
458
00:28:06,537 --> 00:28:10,455
Enough! Bit of pain, neural surge -
just what I needed. Thanks.
459
00:28:10,457 --> 00:28:12,095
Why am I the impossible girl?
460
00:28:12,097 --> 00:28:14,975
It's a thing in my head. I'll
explain later. Chess game - stakes?
461
00:28:14,977 --> 00:28:17,815
If he wins, I give up my mind and
he gets access to all my memories,
462
00:28:17,817 --> 00:28:19,415
along with knowledge of time travel.
463
00:28:19,417 --> 00:28:22,535
But if I win, he'll break
his promises to get out of my head
464
00:28:22,537 --> 00:28:24,775
and then kill us anyway.
That's not reassuring. No.
465
00:28:24,777 --> 00:28:27,295
Please tell me you can fix what
happened to the children.
466
00:28:27,297 --> 00:28:28,775
Children. Yeah. They're fine.
467
00:28:28,777 --> 00:28:31,095
Right now their brains
are just in stand-by mode.
468
00:28:31,097 --> 00:28:33,895
That is not fine! Listen, right now,
469
00:28:33,897 --> 00:28:38,215
they have a better chance of getting
out of all this alive than you do.
470
00:28:38,217 --> 00:28:40,057
Which one of you said that?
471
00:28:41,577 --> 00:28:46,695
Me. Cyber-Planner. Mr Clever.
Now, if you don't mind,
472
00:28:46,697 --> 00:28:49,615
I have a chess game to finish.
473
00:28:49,617 --> 00:28:55,577
And YOU have to die -
pointlessly and very far from home.
474
00:28:58,097 --> 00:28:59,257
Toodle-oo.
475
00:29:03,737 --> 00:29:05,935
Apparently there are more Cybermen
on the way.
476
00:29:05,937 --> 00:29:08,295
There's at least a dozen more shots
left in the gun
477
00:29:08,297 --> 00:29:09,695
before it needs to recharge.
478
00:29:09,697 --> 00:29:12,175
We might have more than a dozen
Cybermen to worry about.
479
00:29:12,177 --> 00:29:14,135
What's that cable?
Power line for the park.
480
00:29:14,137 --> 00:29:16,935
What'd happen if we dropped the
end into the moat and turned it on?
481
00:29:16,937 --> 00:29:18,775
Fry anything that entered the water.
482
00:29:18,777 --> 00:29:21,055
Can Cybermen fly? No, ma'am.
483
00:29:21,057 --> 00:29:23,297
First good news of the day. Do it.
484
00:29:39,897 --> 00:29:43,135
Stop that! I felt that.
485
00:29:43,137 --> 00:29:45,857
Of course you did.
It's time to get up.
486
00:29:47,297 --> 00:29:50,895
Wakey wakey, boys and girls.
487
00:29:50,897 --> 00:29:54,337
Wakey wakey.
488
00:30:21,657 --> 00:30:25,495
There. Get that in you. Warm you up.
Oh, thank you, Porridge.
489
00:30:25,497 --> 00:30:27,855
Oi, Clara!
490
00:30:27,857 --> 00:30:31,497
I'll see what he wants.
Call me if there's any change. Right.
491
00:30:38,937 --> 00:30:42,495
Hey! Clara, there you are.
Now, quick rundown.
492
00:30:42,497 --> 00:30:44,175
What's our weapons strength?
493
00:30:44,177 --> 00:30:46,455
One big gun,
five of those hand pulsar units
494
00:30:46,457 --> 00:30:49,615
and a shiny black bomb that implodes
the planet. Yeah. That one.
495
00:30:49,617 --> 00:30:52,695
Tell me, does it happen, possibly,
to have a remote triggery thing?
496
00:30:52,697 --> 00:30:54,335
Brilliant. Pass it here. No.
497
00:30:54,337 --> 00:30:56,295
Why not?
In case you're not you right now.
498
00:30:56,297 --> 00:30:58,975
Or even if you are you, just in case.
Oh, don't worry.
499
00:30:58,977 --> 00:31:03,935
The Cyber-Planner's hibernating
between moves right now. Sssh.
500
00:31:03,937 --> 00:31:07,937
Prove you're you. Tell me something
only the Doctor knows.
501
00:31:11,257 --> 00:31:12,777
Clara...
502
00:31:14,257 --> 00:31:16,455
I suppose...
503
00:31:16,457 --> 00:31:20,537
I'm the only one who knows
how I feel about you right now.
504
00:31:21,977 --> 00:31:24,697
How funny you are - so funny...
505
00:31:26,177 --> 00:31:28,335
and pretty.
506
00:31:28,337 --> 00:31:31,935
And the truth is,
I'm starting to like you
507
00:31:31,937 --> 00:31:33,855
in a way that is more than just...
508
00:31:33,857 --> 00:31:38,455
Ow! Ow! Ow! Yes! It's me!
509
00:31:38,457 --> 00:31:41,135
That really hurt!
How did you know that was him?!
510
00:31:41,137 --> 00:31:43,695
Because even if that WAS true -
which it's obviously not -
511
00:31:43,697 --> 00:31:45,895
I know you that
you would rather die than say it.
512
00:31:45,897 --> 00:31:47,417
Finish your stupid game!
513
00:31:49,257 --> 00:31:52,575
Doctor, let go. I can't.
He's got control of the left arm.
514
00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:56,535
Aaargh! Aaaargh! No! No!
515
00:31:56,537 --> 00:32:00,217
Aaargh! Aaargh! Aaargh!
516
00:32:02,657 --> 00:32:04,175
Doctor?
517
00:32:04,177 --> 00:32:06,895
He got what he wanted.
He destroyed the trigger.
518
00:32:06,897 --> 00:32:09,495
My move. What do you mean,
he got what he wanted?
519
00:32:09,497 --> 00:32:11,495
He means...
520
00:32:11,497 --> 00:32:15,175
good news, boys and girls!
521
00:32:15,177 --> 00:32:19,177
THEY'RE HEERE!
522
00:32:37,817 --> 00:32:39,055
One gun, five hand pulsars
523
00:32:39,057 --> 00:32:41,615
and a planet-smashing bomb
that doesn't work any more.
524
00:32:41,617 --> 00:32:43,695
Why not? Broken trigger unit.
525
00:32:43,697 --> 00:32:45,535
But you signed for that.
526
00:32:45,537 --> 00:32:49,375
I've learned so much from you,
Doctor.
527
00:32:49,377 --> 00:32:51,255
It's been an education.
528
00:32:51,257 --> 00:32:55,337
But now it's time for the endgame.
529
00:33:09,817 --> 00:33:10,977
Brilliant.
530
00:33:12,737 --> 00:33:15,257
Upgrade in progress.
531
00:33:16,537 --> 00:33:17,857
Damn.
532
00:33:19,417 --> 00:33:22,255
Who's our best shot?
Probably it's me.
533
00:33:22,257 --> 00:33:24,295
Shoot any of them
who make it across.
534
00:33:24,297 --> 00:33:27,015
The rest of you,
take defensive positions. Porridge?
535
00:33:27,017 --> 00:33:28,617
Yes? Keep yourself safe.
536
00:33:44,337 --> 00:33:45,935
Alice Ferrin...
537
00:33:45,937 --> 00:33:49,255
you should have destroyed this
planet when you had the chance.
538
00:33:49,257 --> 00:33:51,615
They're nearly here.
539
00:33:51,617 --> 00:33:56,655
Now, you can take my bishop and keep
limping on for a little longer.
540
00:33:56,657 --> 00:34:00,695
Or you can sacrifice your queen,
541
00:34:00,697 --> 00:34:03,215
and get the children back,
542
00:34:03,217 --> 00:34:05,255
but it's mate in five moves.
543
00:34:05,257 --> 00:34:07,577
And I get your mind.
544
00:34:17,017 --> 00:34:21,737
Take my queen.
And give me back the children.
545
00:34:23,297 --> 00:34:27,015
Emotions! Can't you see
what a foolish move that was?
546
00:34:27,017 --> 00:34:29,135
You've lost the game!
547
00:34:29,137 --> 00:34:32,217
Kids! Back! Now!
548
00:34:41,857 --> 00:34:45,775
Emotions, Doctor -
549
00:34:45,777 --> 00:34:50,655
all for two human children
you barely know.
550
00:34:50,657 --> 00:34:53,337
And it was a pointless sacrifice
anyway.
551
00:34:56,497 --> 00:34:58,495
So, Doctor...
552
00:34:58,497 --> 00:35:02,935
do you think the children's death
will affect your relationship
553
00:35:02,937 --> 00:35:04,657
with Miss Clara?
554
00:35:09,017 --> 00:35:12,135
Welcome to
Webley's World Of Wonders, children.
555
00:35:12,137 --> 00:35:16,575
Now presenting delights,
delicacies...
556
00:35:16,577 --> 00:35:18,977
and death. Doctor!
557
00:35:24,137 --> 00:35:27,817
Angie, are you, OK?
Just look after Artie, OK?
558
00:35:38,817 --> 00:35:41,095
Upgrade in progress.
559
00:35:41,097 --> 00:35:43,695
Your move. But before you take it,
just so you know,
560
00:35:43,697 --> 00:35:46,935
sacrificing my queen was the best
possible move I could have made.
561
00:35:46,937 --> 00:35:48,575
The Time Lords invented chess.
562
00:35:48,577 --> 00:35:50,095
It's our game.
563
00:35:50,097 --> 00:35:53,575
And if you don't avoid MY trap,
it gives ME mate in three moves.
564
00:35:53,577 --> 00:35:54,857
How?
565
00:35:56,577 --> 00:35:58,377
I've got no charge left!
566
00:36:03,057 --> 00:36:04,257
How?
567
00:36:08,297 --> 00:36:10,615
Oh, come on.
Call yourself a chess-playing robot?
568
00:36:10,617 --> 00:36:11,777
How?!
569
00:36:16,457 --> 00:36:18,537
You figure it out!
570
00:36:22,337 --> 00:36:26,215
Or don't you have
the processing power? Hmm?
571
00:36:26,217 --> 00:36:29,775
Please stand by -
you will be upgraded.
572
00:36:29,777 --> 00:36:32,655
Welcome to the Cyberiad.
573
00:36:32,657 --> 00:36:33,735
You will be upgraded.
574
00:36:33,737 --> 00:36:36,295
Welcome to the Cyberiad.
575
00:36:36,297 --> 00:36:37,815
You will be upgraded...
576
00:36:37,817 --> 00:36:41,177
You will be upgraded...
577
00:36:48,097 --> 00:36:49,295
What are you doing?
578
00:36:49,297 --> 00:36:52,615
Doctor. Doctor, Doctor, Doctor,
579
00:36:52,617 --> 00:36:55,135
Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor,
Doctor!
580
00:36:55,137 --> 00:36:57,255
I'm pulling in
extra processing power.
581
00:36:57,257 --> 00:37:00,295
Three million Cyberbrains are
working on one tiny chess problem.
582
00:37:00,297 --> 00:37:02,815
How long do you think
it's going to take us to solve it?
583
00:37:02,817 --> 00:37:07,295
That's cheating! No, no, no, no, no.
Just pulling in the local resources.
584
00:37:07,297 --> 00:37:08,937
Woo-oo-oo.
585
00:37:14,937 --> 00:37:18,935
There's no way you can get to mate
in three moves.
586
00:37:18,937 --> 00:37:21,455
Three moves!
Want to know what they are?
587
00:37:21,457 --> 00:37:22,815
You're lying!
588
00:37:22,817 --> 00:37:24,455
No!
589
00:37:24,457 --> 00:37:26,535
Move one -
590
00:37:26,537 --> 00:37:28,695
turn on sonic screwdriver.
591
00:37:28,697 --> 00:37:30,375
Move two - activate pulsar.
592
00:37:30,377 --> 00:37:32,417
Move three - amplify pulsar.
593
00:37:35,577 --> 00:37:37,977
See ya.
594
00:37:40,057 --> 00:37:41,737
That's cheating!
595
00:37:46,337 --> 00:37:48,815
Just taking advantage
of the local resources.
596
00:37:48,817 --> 00:37:52,255
Ah, hello. Can someone untie me,
please? Do you think I'm pretty?
597
00:37:52,257 --> 00:37:54,815
No! You're too short and bossy,
and your nose is all funny.
598
00:37:54,817 --> 00:37:57,095
Good enough.
What happened to the Cyber-Planner?
599
00:37:57,097 --> 00:37:59,855
Out of my head and redistributed
across three million Cybermen.
600
00:37:59,857 --> 00:38:02,655
About to wake them up, kill us
and start constructing a spaceship.
601
00:38:02,657 --> 00:38:05,535
We need to destroy this planet
before they can get off it.
602
00:38:05,537 --> 00:38:07,495
OK.
603
00:38:07,497 --> 00:38:09,415
It has a fallback voice activation.
604
00:38:09,417 --> 00:38:11,415
The Captain. But she's dead.
605
00:38:11,417 --> 00:38:13,495
I think you should ask Porridge.
Why?
606
00:38:13,497 --> 00:38:17,535
Well, he is the Emperor. I bet
HE knows the activation codes.
607
00:38:17,537 --> 00:38:19,495
Oh, come on, it's obvious.
608
00:38:19,497 --> 00:38:21,375
He looks exactly like he does
on the coin
609
00:38:21,377 --> 00:38:24,255
and on the waxwork, except
they made him a bit taller, but...
610
00:38:24,257 --> 00:38:27,055
Look, am I the only one paying
attention to ANYTHING around here?
611
00:38:27,057 --> 00:38:29,655
You are full of surprises. Porridge?
612
00:38:29,657 --> 00:38:32,335
She's right. So you can save us?
613
00:38:32,337 --> 00:38:34,495
We all die in the end.
Does it matter how?
614
00:38:34,497 --> 00:38:37,535
What do we do?
I don't want to be Emperor.
615
00:38:37,537 --> 00:38:40,495
If I activate that bomb,
it's all over.
616
00:38:40,497 --> 00:38:41,535
And if you don't,
617
00:38:41,537 --> 00:38:44,335
three million Cybermen will spread
across the galaxy.
618
00:38:44,337 --> 00:38:45,815
Isn't that worth dying for?
619
00:38:45,817 --> 00:38:47,657
Doctor... Three million Cybermen!
620
00:38:51,297 --> 00:38:54,295
The bomb, the throne,
it's all connected.
621
00:38:54,297 --> 00:38:55,455
I just have to say,
622
00:38:55,457 --> 00:38:59,375
"This is Emperor Ludens Nimrod
Kendrick, called Longstaff the 41st,
623
00:38:59,377 --> 00:39:03,617
"the defender of humanity,
imperator of known space.
624
00:39:05,977 --> 00:39:09,257
"Activate the Desolator."
And it's done.
625
00:39:17,017 --> 00:39:18,575
It'll blow in about 80 seconds.
626
00:39:18,577 --> 00:39:21,015
Easily long enough for the
Imperial Flagship to locate me
627
00:39:21,017 --> 00:39:24,215
from my identification,
warp-jump into orbit,
628
00:39:24,217 --> 00:39:26,137
and transmat us to the State Room.
629
00:39:32,177 --> 00:39:35,055
Oh, yeah! Nice ship.
630
00:39:35,057 --> 00:39:36,695
Bit big. Not blue enough.
631
00:39:36,697 --> 00:39:41,335
Listen, there is a large blue box
at co-ordinates six ultra 19P.
632
00:39:41,337 --> 00:39:44,535
I need it transmatted up here
right away.
633
00:39:44,537 --> 00:39:46,497
Right. Did you get that?
634
00:39:56,297 --> 00:40:02,137
And that's that. 76, 77, 78, 79...
635
00:40:10,657 --> 00:40:13,335
Fairwell, Cyberiad.
636
00:40:13,337 --> 00:40:16,655
You know... it was GOOD to get away.
637
00:40:16,657 --> 00:40:19,215
Good to be a person
and not to be lonely
638
00:40:19,217 --> 00:40:21,295
or Emperor of 1,000 galaxies,
639
00:40:21,297 --> 00:40:23,615
with everybody waiting for ME
to tell them what to do.
640
00:40:23,617 --> 00:40:25,175
Can't you run away again?
641
00:40:25,177 --> 00:40:27,215
They'll be keeping a close eye on me
this time.
642
00:40:27,217 --> 00:40:29,175
That's what happens
when you're Emperor -
643
00:40:29,177 --> 00:40:31,095
loneliest job in the Universe.
644
00:40:31,097 --> 00:40:32,777
You don't have to be lonely.
645
00:40:34,817 --> 00:40:37,335
I don't.
646
00:40:37,337 --> 00:40:38,855
Clara...
647
00:40:38,857 --> 00:40:40,337
will you marry me?
648
00:40:41,337 --> 00:40:42,855
What? He said...
649
00:40:42,857 --> 00:40:44,215
She heard what he said.
650
00:40:44,217 --> 00:40:46,815
You're smart and you're beautiful,
651
00:40:46,817 --> 00:40:49,575
and I've never met anyone like you
before.
652
00:40:49,577 --> 00:40:52,375
And being Emperor won't be as hard
if you're by my side.
653
00:40:52,377 --> 00:40:54,215
And you'd rule 1,000 galaxies.
654
00:40:54,217 --> 00:40:57,375
This sounds like an actual
marriage proposal - tricky.
655
00:40:57,377 --> 00:40:58,615
Now, if you want my advice...
656
00:40:58,617 --> 00:41:02,057
You - not one word. This is
between me and the... Emperor.
657
00:41:04,337 --> 00:41:06,055
Porridge,
658
00:41:06,057 --> 00:41:09,897
I...don't want to rule
1,000 galaxies.
659
00:41:13,657 --> 00:41:14,697
Yeah.
660
00:41:15,857 --> 00:41:17,615
Silly of me.
661
00:41:17,617 --> 00:41:19,295
I'm really sorry.
662
00:41:19,297 --> 00:41:23,335
But that's stupid.
You could be queen of the universe.
663
00:41:23,337 --> 00:41:25,615
How can you say no to that?
664
00:41:25,617 --> 00:41:28,215
When someone asks you if you want
to be queen of the universe,
665
00:41:28,217 --> 00:41:29,415
you say, "Yes."
666
00:41:29,417 --> 00:41:32,337
You watch. One day,
I'LL be queen of the universe.
667
00:41:34,377 --> 00:41:36,655
Of course,
I could have you all executed -
668
00:41:36,657 --> 00:41:38,937
which is what a proper Emperor
would do.
669
00:41:40,097 --> 00:41:42,615
You're not actually going to do
that, though, are you...?
670
00:41:42,617 --> 00:41:45,055
Oh, you're...! Hey?
671
00:41:45,057 --> 00:41:47,095
Go on, get out of here, all of you,
672
00:41:47,097 --> 00:41:48,577
before I change my mind.
673
00:42:03,057 --> 00:42:05,495
Thank you for having me.
It was very interesting.
674
00:42:05,497 --> 00:42:07,295
My pleasure. Thank you for coming.
675
00:42:07,297 --> 00:42:09,095
Now, I've got something for you.
676
00:42:09,097 --> 00:42:11,297
It's not from me,
it's from the TARDIS.
677
00:42:13,137 --> 00:42:15,535
Ah! New phone.
678
00:42:15,537 --> 00:42:18,697
Thanks!
Sorry I said this box was stupid.
679
00:42:20,297 --> 00:42:24,897
Bye! Bye! Thanks, Clara.
Thanks, Clara's boyfriend.
680
00:42:27,137 --> 00:42:28,775
Thank you, Doctor. For what?
681
00:42:28,777 --> 00:42:30,895
Kids' day out,
getting us off the planet alive,
682
00:42:30,897 --> 00:42:33,017
whatever you were doing
with the Cybermen...
683
00:42:35,857 --> 00:42:37,177
Good night.
684
00:42:38,777 --> 00:42:40,255
See you next Wednesday.
685
00:42:40,257 --> 00:42:44,695
Well... a Wednesday, definitely.
Next Wednesday, last Wednesday...
686
00:42:44,697 --> 00:42:46,137
one of the Wednesdays.
687
00:42:49,177 --> 00:42:51,295
Impossible girl.
688
00:42:51,297 --> 00:42:54,095
A mystery wrapped in an enigma
squeezed into a skirt
689
00:42:54,097 --> 00:42:56,937
that's just
a little bit too... tight.
690
00:43:03,457 --> 00:43:04,977
What are you?
691
00:43:06,937 --> 00:43:09,255
Signs of any Cybertech remaining?
692
00:43:09,257 --> 00:43:11,135
No, Majesty.
693
00:43:11,137 --> 00:43:13,415
You ever wanted to be Emperor,
Gloria?
694
00:43:13,417 --> 00:43:14,735
No, Majesty.
695
00:43:14,737 --> 00:43:17,897
That's the right answer. Come on.
Let's go home.
696
00:43:35,737 --> 00:43:38,855
There is one place
you must never go.
697
00:43:38,857 --> 00:43:40,375
Where?
698
00:43:40,377 --> 00:43:43,135
This is
the Doctor's greatest secret.
699
00:43:43,137 --> 00:43:44,775
And it is discovered.
700
00:43:44,777 --> 00:43:47,015
He can't go there, you know
he can't. I have a duty.
701
00:43:47,017 --> 00:43:49,255
You just said it's the one place
you must never go.
702
00:43:49,257 --> 00:43:52,417
I'm about to cross my own timeline
and the TARDIS doesn't like it.
703
00:43:56,017 --> 00:43:57,615
Die, reptile!
704
00:43:57,617 --> 00:43:59,495
Doctor! Doctor!
705
00:43:59,497 --> 00:44:01,175
What is your name?
706
00:44:01,177 --> 00:44:03,175
Please, stop it!
707
00:44:03,177 --> 00:44:04,697
Doctor Who?!
708
00:44:04,722 --> 00:44:06,709
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