1 00:00:08,632 --> 00:00:10,931 CHUCK: Things connect, 2 00:00:10,999 --> 00:00:13,564 especially in a big city. 3 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:20,631 People rub elbows, among other things. 4 00:00:20,699 --> 00:00:23,797 It's what you call a democracy. 5 00:00:23,865 --> 00:00:26,265 It's one big melting pot-- 6 00:00:26,333 --> 00:00:28,198 whatever that is-- 7 00:00:31,333 --> 00:00:33,565 ...where the little guy at the bottom can sit down 8 00:00:33,632 --> 00:00:38,499 to lunch with the guys at the top. 9 00:00:38,566 --> 00:00:40,432 In theory, anyway. 10 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:41,764 (tires skidding, metal crunching) 11 00:00:41,832 --> 00:00:44,198 Oh, man... Who's fault is this?! 12 00:00:44,266 --> 00:00:46,231 It's your fault! You broke my taillight! 13 00:00:46,299 --> 00:00:47,398 Your taillight?! Look at my car! 14 00:00:47,465 --> 00:00:49,431 CHUCK: Yep, no matter where you look, 15 00:00:49,499 --> 00:00:51,298 you can see it in action-- 16 00:00:51,366 --> 00:00:54,164 the free and open exchange of ideas, 17 00:00:54,232 --> 00:00:56,564 the meeting of minds. 18 00:00:56,632 --> 00:01:00,265 (baby screaming) You know what?! You're a lousy cab driver! 19 00:01:00,332 --> 00:01:03,664 CHUCK: Not that the system doesn't have a few bugs. 20 00:01:03,732 --> 00:01:05,998 I do know how to drive! I drive every day! 21 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,831 (indistinct arguing) 22 00:01:07,899 --> 00:01:10,031 (baby wailing) 23 00:01:11,433 --> 00:01:14,532 (siren approaches) 24 00:01:14,599 --> 00:01:17,565 (playing jazz melody) 25 00:01:17,633 --> 00:01:21,632 CHUCK: The point is, there's opportunity for all, 26 00:01:21,699 --> 00:01:26,331 especially a guy with tomorrow's newspaper. 27 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:34,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 28 00:01:35,299 --> 00:01:37,998 Still, having a rag that tells the future 29 00:01:38,066 --> 00:01:40,432 isn't always all it's cracked up to be. 30 00:01:41,599 --> 00:01:42,565 Help you? 31 00:01:42,632 --> 00:01:44,065 Hi. I'm here to apply for a job. 32 00:01:44,132 --> 00:01:45,865 Oh, I don't believe we have any openings. 33 00:01:45,933 --> 00:01:50,498 Oh, well, uh, it says right here, uh, 34 00:01:50,566 --> 00:01:52,697 financial consultant. 35 00:01:52,765 --> 00:01:54,797 See? 36 00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,365 Excuse me one moment. 37 00:01:56,433 --> 00:01:58,531 Uh, wait. My paper. 38 00:01:58,599 --> 00:02:00,498 Harvey? 39 00:02:00,566 --> 00:02:02,764 Do you know anything about this? 40 00:02:02,832 --> 00:02:05,399 What? 41 00:02:05,466 --> 00:02:06,831 Yes, can I help you? 42 00:02:06,899 --> 00:02:08,232 Uh, well, yes. 43 00:02:08,299 --> 00:02:10,998 The, uh, well, right here-- "financial consultant." 44 00:02:11,066 --> 00:02:12,865 This must be some kind of a mistake. 45 00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,398 This is my job. 46 00:02:16,132 --> 00:02:17,731 Well, are you sure? It says right here. 47 00:02:17,799 --> 00:02:20,431 Yes. Been here eight years now. 48 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:24,531 Oh, boy. 49 00:02:24,598 --> 00:02:27,198 Uh, well, of course, it must be a mistake. 50 00:02:27,266 --> 00:02:30,798 And I, uh... uh... thank you. 51 00:02:30,865 --> 00:02:32,798 Harvey, is this your report?! 52 00:02:32,865 --> 00:02:34,399 Yes. 53 00:02:34,465 --> 00:02:37,665 It's the shoddiest piece of work I've ever seen! 54 00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:40,632 Collect your paycheck! You're out of here! 55 00:02:40,699 --> 00:02:42,931 (elevator bell dings) 56 00:02:47,966 --> 00:02:50,465 Sorry. Wrong day. 57 00:02:51,598 --> 00:02:55,431 (theme music playing) 58 00:03:25,733 --> 00:03:28,299 ♪ ♪ 59 00:03:35,066 --> 00:03:37,332 RADIO BROADCASTER: Good morning. It's Wednesday in Chicago. 60 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,065 I'm Marty in the Morning, and here's the news. 61 00:03:40,133 --> 00:03:43,898 Lottery fever has taken the city by storm. 62 00:03:43,966 --> 00:03:45,764 The new Metropolitan Pick, 63 00:03:45,832 --> 00:03:47,731 introduced by Mayor Garfield last month, 64 00:03:47,799 --> 00:03:49,132 will attempt once again, tonight, 65 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,332 to produce a winning match. 66 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,399 After seven consecutive drawings 67 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:55,898 in which no winner has been found, 68 00:03:55,966 --> 00:03:58,964 the payoff now stands at nearly $17 million. 69 00:03:59,033 --> 00:04:00,564 Well, more news in a moment... 70 00:04:00,632 --> 00:04:02,532 I'm dying. I'm dying. 71 00:04:02,599 --> 00:04:04,466 I can't take this. 72 00:04:04,533 --> 00:04:05,931 Did you hear that? 73 00:04:05,999 --> 00:04:06,965 Hear what? 74 00:04:07,032 --> 00:04:08,466 17 million smackers. 75 00:04:08,533 --> 00:04:10,566 Yeah. 76 00:04:10,632 --> 00:04:12,631 And who gets the winning number every day 77 00:04:12,699 --> 00:04:14,365 before it's even picked? 78 00:04:14,433 --> 00:04:15,698 Forget it. I'm not buying a ticket. 79 00:04:15,765 --> 00:04:16,931 Gary... 80 00:04:16,999 --> 00:04:19,099 Gary, please, for my health, 81 00:04:19,166 --> 00:04:20,864 for my well-being, for my sanity-- 82 00:04:20,932 --> 00:04:24,631 I'm begging you, just consider it one more time. 83 00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:25,931 Okay. 84 00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:28,631 Uh... 85 00:04:28,699 --> 00:04:30,931 I'm not buying a ticket. 86 00:04:30,999 --> 00:04:36,631 Lord, you give them eyes, but they do not see. 87 00:04:36,698 --> 00:04:39,132 All right, here's one: sales promotions, 88 00:04:39,199 --> 00:04:41,698 flexible hours, excellent pay, 89 00:04:41,766 --> 00:04:44,065 room for advancement. 90 00:04:44,133 --> 00:04:46,265 Sounds good. What's the company? 91 00:04:46,332 --> 00:04:47,431 Yeah, it's, uh... 92 00:04:47,499 --> 00:04:49,632 Al's Auto Wash. 93 00:04:49,699 --> 00:04:52,698 You mean, the one with the singing chicken? 94 00:04:52,766 --> 00:04:54,565 Costume provided, yes. 95 00:04:54,633 --> 00:04:56,831 Hmm. What else? 96 00:04:56,899 --> 00:04:58,698 Well, there's nothing here that doesn't tie me to a desk 97 00:04:58,766 --> 00:05:00,531 for the rest of my life. 98 00:05:00,599 --> 00:05:01,965 How am I ever going to hold down a job 99 00:05:02,033 --> 00:05:03,498 while I'm shackled with this thing? 100 00:05:03,566 --> 00:05:05,532 If I may, a suggestion. 101 00:05:05,599 --> 00:05:07,632 Win the lottery, buy a company, 102 00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:10,465 and if you really need to, work in the mailroom. 103 00:05:10,533 --> 00:05:12,632 No. What I need is a job, a real job, 104 00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:14,299 one that I find for myself. Thank you very much. 105 00:05:14,366 --> 00:05:16,965 Not when you have this. 106 00:05:17,033 --> 00:05:18,298 MARISSA: What you'd need 107 00:05:18,366 --> 00:05:19,864 is something you can do at home, 108 00:05:19,933 --> 00:05:22,231 if that's what you call this place. 109 00:05:22,299 --> 00:05:23,832 Like what? Stuffing envelopes? 110 00:05:23,899 --> 00:05:26,465 Where's the lottery results? 111 00:05:26,532 --> 00:05:28,198 Oh, so much for trust. 112 00:05:28,266 --> 00:05:29,465 Yeah. Give me that. 113 00:05:29,532 --> 00:05:31,298 Take it. What good is it to me now, anyway? 114 00:05:31,366 --> 00:05:32,498 I don't believe this. 115 00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:34,732 To think that I would stoop so low, me-- 116 00:05:34,799 --> 00:05:36,565 your best and only true friend. 117 00:05:36,632 --> 00:05:37,898 Hey, look at this. 118 00:05:37,965 --> 00:05:39,332 Why would somebody do this? 119 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,332 MARISSA: Why would someone do what? 120 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:44,531 "City officials are puzzling over a bizarre attempt yesterday 121 00:05:44,598 --> 00:05:48,032 "to kidnap Mayor Garfield's dog. 122 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:50,331 "Garfield, on his daily 'meet the press' walk, 123 00:05:50,399 --> 00:05:53,499 "was accosted by an unidentified man in a ski cap 124 00:05:53,565 --> 00:05:55,232 "who ran off carrying Patsy, 125 00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:57,598 "the mayor's long-time pet terrier. 126 00:06:00,766 --> 00:06:03,398 "The mayor, who was reported shaken but fine, 127 00:06:03,466 --> 00:06:05,731 "was quickly whisked away by bodyguards... 128 00:06:08,999 --> 00:06:11,198 "...while neither thief nor dog had been heard from 129 00:06:11,266 --> 00:06:12,932 by the end of the day." 130 00:06:14,999 --> 00:06:17,331 So? Some nut with a pooch. 131 00:06:17,399 --> 00:06:19,798 What's the big deal? 132 00:06:19,866 --> 00:06:21,398 It's the mayor. 133 00:06:21,466 --> 00:06:23,532 Yeah, that's what I said-- some nut with a pooch. 134 00:06:23,599 --> 00:06:25,165 I take it you didn't vote for him. 135 00:06:25,232 --> 00:06:26,298 Hell, no. 136 00:06:26,366 --> 00:06:27,765 Yeah, well, I did. 137 00:06:27,832 --> 00:06:29,065 Do you want some more coffee? 138 00:06:29,132 --> 00:06:30,131 Sure. 139 00:06:33,932 --> 00:06:36,198 I cannot believe we are doing this. 140 00:06:36,265 --> 00:06:38,064 You don't have to be here. Go to work. 141 00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:39,931 Oh, no, no, not while there is a chance 142 00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:41,298 to make you listen to reason. 143 00:06:41,366 --> 00:06:42,564 Reason. What reason? 144 00:06:42,632 --> 00:06:44,798 That one. 145 00:06:44,866 --> 00:06:46,731 Got the winner. 146 00:06:46,799 --> 00:06:48,065 I'm going to win the lottery. 147 00:06:48,133 --> 00:06:50,864 Miracles happen, Sister. 148 00:06:50,933 --> 00:06:53,065 Doesn't this seem odd to you? 149 00:06:53,133 --> 00:06:55,132 That a guy has a chance to make a fortune 150 00:06:55,199 --> 00:06:58,065 beyond his wildest dreams, and he turns it down? 151 00:06:58,133 --> 00:06:59,597 Absolutely. 152 00:06:59,665 --> 00:07:01,531 No, not that. The story. 153 00:07:01,599 --> 00:07:03,198 Oh, that one. 154 00:07:03,265 --> 00:07:05,598 This guy can spend 20 years in prison-- 155 00:07:05,665 --> 00:07:08,531 so why does he go and steal the mayor's dog? 156 00:07:08,599 --> 00:07:10,798 Maybe he ate too many donuts. 157 00:07:10,866 --> 00:07:12,231 Maybe he just doesn't like the mayor. 158 00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:13,298 I don't know. 159 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:14,831 Speaking of which. (sirens approach) 160 00:07:14,899 --> 00:07:16,164 OFFICER: Keep it nice and tight. 161 00:07:22,599 --> 00:07:23,998 (reporters shouting questions) 162 00:07:24,066 --> 00:07:25,799 Hey! Good morning, folks. 163 00:07:25,866 --> 00:07:28,032 Lovely day. Keep them back. 164 00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:31,565 Now, remember, you decided-- stay away from education, 165 00:07:31,633 --> 00:07:33,232 Uh-huh. and keep your answers vague. 166 00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:35,365 I decided that? When? 167 00:07:35,432 --> 00:07:37,664 MAYOR: Good morning. 168 00:07:37,732 --> 00:07:39,332 And how are we all this fine day? 169 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:40,964 (reporters shouting questions) 170 00:07:41,032 --> 00:07:43,399 Your Honor, can you explain the fact that your new lottery 171 00:07:43,466 --> 00:07:45,798 has yet to produce a winning match? 172 00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:47,732 No, but it's all for a worthy cause. 173 00:07:47,799 --> 00:07:49,632 I bought my ticket. Have you? 174 00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:50,831 Mr. Mayor? Mr. Mayor, sir! 175 00:07:50,899 --> 00:07:52,898 What do you think of your sudden drop in popularity 176 00:07:52,965 --> 00:07:54,432 over the last several weeks? 177 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:55,699 What? What did he say? 178 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,098 Mr. Mayor, the polls indicate that... 179 00:07:57,166 --> 00:07:58,964 No more questions. Uh, keep them back. 180 00:07:59,032 --> 00:08:00,365 What does he mean? What polls? 181 00:08:00,433 --> 00:08:02,365 We're going to have to discuss these daily walks. 182 00:08:02,432 --> 00:08:04,431 Why? Patsy loves them. 183 00:08:04,499 --> 00:08:06,765 And I think a mayor should be seen. 184 00:08:06,833 --> 00:08:09,864 Right, Patsy? (Patsy barks) 185 00:08:22,099 --> 00:08:23,865 There he is. 186 00:08:23,932 --> 00:08:26,231 Well, Hi. I'm Mike Garfield... 187 00:08:26,299 --> 00:08:28,331 GARY: Wait! 188 00:08:28,399 --> 00:08:29,665 Stop that guy! 189 00:08:29,733 --> 00:08:31,131 He's the guy with the... 190 00:08:32,733 --> 00:08:33,864 GUARD: Go! Go! Go! 191 00:08:33,932 --> 00:08:36,065 Not me, that guy! Get him out of here! 192 00:08:36,132 --> 00:08:38,598 Get going! Now! Let's go. 193 00:08:38,666 --> 00:08:39,732 Right away. Move! Move! MAYOR: Who's that? 194 00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:40,998 FLANAGAN: Who cares? 195 00:08:41,066 --> 00:08:42,064 What about him? 196 00:08:42,133 --> 00:08:44,731 The last thing we need is publicity. 197 00:08:44,798 --> 00:08:46,432 The press would have a field day with this. 198 00:08:46,499 --> 00:08:47,565 Let's just get out of here. 199 00:08:47,633 --> 00:08:49,199 Drive. 200 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:54,698 (siren blaring) 201 00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:01,865 Holy cow. Are you okay? 202 00:09:01,932 --> 00:09:03,031 Did you see that? 203 00:09:03,099 --> 00:09:04,298 Yeah, I saw it. 204 00:09:04,366 --> 00:09:05,398 I don't believe it. 205 00:09:05,466 --> 00:09:06,831 Neither do I. 206 00:09:06,899 --> 00:09:08,898 Trying to take the mayor's dog; the guy's a fruitcake. 207 00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:10,431 Wrong. Huh? 208 00:09:10,499 --> 00:09:12,331 That guy was no fruitcake. 209 00:09:12,399 --> 00:09:14,665 That guy was my Uncle Phil. 210 00:09:20,699 --> 00:09:22,831 BROADCASTER: Good afternoon. It's 1:00 in Chicago, 211 00:09:22,899 --> 00:09:25,598 and the mayor's lottery payoff continues to climb... 212 00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:27,399 CHUCK: Come on, Gare. GARY: No. 213 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,466 No. I'll pay for the ticket. 214 00:09:29,533 --> 00:09:30,864 Fine. Be that way. 215 00:09:30,932 --> 00:09:32,698 I didn't know you had an Uncle Phil. 216 00:09:32,765 --> 00:09:34,566 It's nothing to brag about, believe me. 217 00:09:34,632 --> 00:09:35,965 And he's really your uncle? 218 00:09:36,032 --> 00:09:37,232 Me and half the neighborhood. 219 00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:38,731 Huh? Don't ask. 220 00:09:38,799 --> 00:09:40,698 He's kind of a cross between Zorba the Greek 221 00:09:40,765 --> 00:09:42,399 and Jabba the Hutt. 222 00:09:42,467 --> 00:09:44,864 Calls himself Citizen Kazakian. 223 00:09:44,932 --> 00:09:45,965 Patriotic? 224 00:09:46,032 --> 00:09:47,466 Armenian. 225 00:09:47,533 --> 00:09:50,299 Came over here 48 years ago in the hold of a tuna boat. 226 00:09:52,032 --> 00:09:54,165 Well, where do we find this Uncle Phil? 227 00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:56,764 You don't find Uncle Phil... 228 00:09:56,832 --> 00:09:58,965 you smell him. 229 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,231 (sniffing) 230 00:10:00,299 --> 00:10:02,498 That's right. There you go. 231 00:10:02,566 --> 00:10:03,565 Okay. Thanks. 232 00:10:03,633 --> 00:10:04,998 Enjoy. And remember to vote. 233 00:10:05,066 --> 00:10:07,531 Excuse me. 234 00:10:07,599 --> 00:10:09,064 Uh-oh. 235 00:10:09,132 --> 00:10:11,131 Not so fast. 236 00:10:11,199 --> 00:10:13,064 Charlie? Uncle Phil. 237 00:10:13,132 --> 00:10:15,531 Oh. Long time no see. 238 00:10:15,599 --> 00:10:16,831 Come on. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 239 00:10:16,899 --> 00:10:18,231 Let's go. Hey, where you taking to me? 240 00:10:18,299 --> 00:10:19,331 We're taking you to lunch. 241 00:10:19,399 --> 00:10:21,465 You can't do this to me. Unhand me. 242 00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:22,864 (door bell jingles) In here. 243 00:10:22,932 --> 00:10:24,798 PHIL: You won't get away with this. 244 00:10:24,865 --> 00:10:25,798 Cut it out. 245 00:10:25,865 --> 00:10:27,165 This is a kidnapping, you know. 246 00:10:27,233 --> 00:10:29,065 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody could steal my cart. 247 00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:30,499 Doubtful. 248 00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:32,664 Okay, Phil, talk to us. 249 00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:34,465 Welcome back to the neighborhood. 250 00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:36,165 You lost weight or something? 251 00:10:36,232 --> 00:10:38,098 Thank you for noticing. 252 00:10:38,166 --> 00:10:39,465 Who's that? 253 00:10:39,533 --> 00:10:40,864 Gary. Gary, Phil. 254 00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:41,898 Phil, Gary. 255 00:10:41,965 --> 00:10:43,465 Charmed. What can I do for you? 256 00:10:43,533 --> 00:10:44,531 The mayor, Phil. 257 00:10:45,799 --> 00:10:47,664 I don't know what you mean. 258 00:10:47,732 --> 00:10:49,065 Come on. We know you were there. 259 00:10:49,133 --> 00:10:50,131 Prove it. 260 00:10:50,199 --> 00:10:51,664 You tried to swipe the mayor's dog. 261 00:10:51,732 --> 00:10:53,998 Psychic. 262 00:10:54,066 --> 00:10:55,165 College graduate. 263 00:10:55,232 --> 00:10:56,198 Oh. 264 00:10:56,266 --> 00:10:57,831 Look, we know what you tried to do. 265 00:10:57,899 --> 00:10:58,666 The question is why. 266 00:10:58,733 --> 00:10:59,699 Yeah, why. Why. 267 00:10:59,767 --> 00:11:00,699 Why? Why? 268 00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:02,031 Why? You want to know why? 269 00:11:02,099 --> 00:11:04,798 Ask the mayor... (spits) 270 00:11:04,866 --> 00:11:06,565 What did he do to you? 271 00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:08,098 I'll tell you what he did to me. 272 00:11:08,166 --> 00:11:10,765 Ha! That lousy, no-good 273 00:11:10,832 --> 00:11:12,265 politician. 274 00:11:12,332 --> 00:11:14,798 He ran over my dog. 275 00:11:19,299 --> 00:11:21,398 It was two months ago yesterday. 276 00:11:21,466 --> 00:11:23,797 We were setting up my cart, 277 00:11:23,865 --> 00:11:26,797 me and Bugle. 278 00:11:26,865 --> 00:11:29,298 Ever since my wife died, he was... 279 00:11:29,366 --> 00:11:30,597 well, you know, uh... 280 00:11:30,665 --> 00:11:32,597 he was watching the cart. 281 00:11:34,333 --> 00:11:36,731 Then I had trouble with the umbrella. 282 00:11:36,799 --> 00:11:39,565 There was kind of a screw loose. 283 00:11:57,932 --> 00:11:59,365 The next thing I knew... 284 00:11:59,432 --> 00:12:01,131 (horn honking) 285 00:12:01,199 --> 00:12:02,664 Bugle! 286 00:12:02,732 --> 00:12:05,332 He never even saw it coming. 287 00:12:05,399 --> 00:12:06,665 (honking continues) 288 00:12:06,733 --> 00:12:11,332 (slow, echoing): Bugle! 289 00:12:12,700 --> 00:12:14,565 Never had a chance. 290 00:12:14,633 --> 00:12:16,365 Poor mutt. 291 00:12:16,433 --> 00:12:17,666 Died for love. 292 00:12:21,899 --> 00:12:24,098 I'm very sorry, Phil. 293 00:12:25,199 --> 00:12:26,532 Yeah. 294 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,365 I'm touched. 295 00:12:28,432 --> 00:12:30,432 But what does that have to do with the mayor? 296 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:33,298 It was his garage truck. 297 00:12:33,366 --> 00:12:34,798 It was written right on the side-- 298 00:12:34,865 --> 00:12:35,965 "City of Chicago." 299 00:12:36,032 --> 00:12:37,631 Who runs the city? 300 00:12:37,699 --> 00:12:38,764 The mayor. 301 00:12:42,766 --> 00:12:45,098 You gents want some real food? 302 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:48,465 Anyway... 303 00:12:48,532 --> 00:12:51,598 I made phone calls, I sent letters. 304 00:12:51,666 --> 00:12:52,931 After I buried Bugle, 305 00:12:52,999 --> 00:12:54,865 I figured somebody would want to know. 306 00:12:54,932 --> 00:12:56,798 But nobody ever wrote. 307 00:12:56,866 --> 00:12:58,098 Sauerkraut? 308 00:12:58,166 --> 00:12:59,532 No, thanks. 309 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,931 I called the Sanitation Department, 310 00:13:01,999 --> 00:13:03,631 and they sent me to Pest Control. 311 00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,965 Now, is that democracy? 312 00:13:06,033 --> 00:13:07,264 How about relish? 313 00:13:07,332 --> 00:13:08,898 No. Thanks. 314 00:13:10,132 --> 00:13:11,498 Then I went to the Mayor's Office. 315 00:13:11,566 --> 00:13:13,931 I figured that this guy would understand 316 00:13:13,999 --> 00:13:16,565 that when a man loses his dog to a trash truck, 317 00:13:16,632 --> 00:13:18,631 that's a human tragedy. 318 00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:20,965 How come you're not eating? 319 00:13:21,032 --> 00:13:22,265 Vegetarian. 320 00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:25,298 Oh... mm. 321 00:13:26,699 --> 00:13:27,898 Mmm, I even put on 322 00:13:27,966 --> 00:13:29,998 a suit and a tie, the one from my wedding. 323 00:13:30,066 --> 00:13:32,532 I walk in, they tell me he's busy. 324 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,564 Busy! Like I'm not. 325 00:13:34,632 --> 00:13:36,731 I waited three hours. 326 00:13:36,798 --> 00:13:38,332 Three hours! 327 00:13:38,399 --> 00:13:41,432 Then I knew that there's a rat in Denmark. 328 00:13:41,499 --> 00:13:44,432 So you decided to steal his dog? 329 00:13:44,499 --> 00:13:46,831 I'd do it again-- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. 330 00:13:46,899 --> 00:13:48,098 I'd do it again! 331 00:13:48,165 --> 00:13:50,065 You're crazy-- you could go to jail for that. 332 00:13:50,132 --> 00:13:51,798 Not Phil Kazakian. 333 00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,164 Let 'em try. 334 00:13:53,232 --> 00:13:55,064 See? What'd I tell you? 335 00:13:55,132 --> 00:13:56,998 Hopeless. You're an embarrassment 336 00:13:57,065 --> 00:13:58,332 to the neighborhood, you know that? 337 00:13:58,399 --> 00:14:00,431 And you was always a weaselly kind of kid. 338 00:14:00,499 --> 00:14:01,731 All right, save it. Look, Phil... 339 00:14:01,798 --> 00:14:03,831 is there some kind of way we can resolve this? 340 00:14:03,898 --> 00:14:05,764 I can't spend the rest of my life chasing 341 00:14:05,832 --> 00:14:08,131 you around town over this. 342 00:14:08,199 --> 00:14:10,564 Okay. 343 00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:12,798 There is something. 344 00:14:12,866 --> 00:14:14,831 I want an apology from the mayor, 345 00:14:14,899 --> 00:14:17,298 in writing, today. 346 00:14:17,366 --> 00:14:18,265 That's what I want. 347 00:14:18,333 --> 00:14:19,697 Come on, let's get out of here. 348 00:14:19,765 --> 00:14:21,464 We're wasting our time. No, no, wait, wait. 349 00:14:22,532 --> 00:14:23,665 Okay. 350 00:14:23,733 --> 00:14:25,165 CHUCK: What? 351 00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:26,864 We'll go see him now. Are you out of your mind? 352 00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:28,465 The mayor doesn't care about some dumb dog. 353 00:14:28,533 --> 00:14:30,432 Hey! Yes, he will. 354 00:14:32,266 --> 00:14:33,798 Don't worry. 355 00:14:33,866 --> 00:14:35,298 He'll see us. 356 00:14:37,366 --> 00:14:40,898 WOMAN: Sorry, the mayor can't see you today. 357 00:14:40,966 --> 00:14:43,198 Here's what I'm trying not to do. 358 00:14:43,266 --> 00:14:46,132 I'm trying not to pick up that phone, 359 00:14:46,199 --> 00:14:48,964 call the alderman, and tell him that 360 00:14:49,033 --> 00:14:50,399 a Miss, uh, what is your name? 361 00:14:50,466 --> 00:14:52,065 Becker. 362 00:14:52,132 --> 00:14:55,765 Miss Becker has kept us waiting for over an hour. 363 00:14:55,832 --> 00:14:58,831 Are you saying you have an appointment with the mayor? 364 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,798 You're taking the line 365 00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:03,132 that we never even had an appointment, is that it? 366 00:15:03,199 --> 00:15:04,797 I don't think that's going to sit very well 367 00:15:04,865 --> 00:15:06,232 with the alderman's ulcers. 368 00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:07,732 Which alderman? 369 00:15:07,799 --> 00:15:08,864 Hmm? 370 00:15:08,932 --> 00:15:11,131 Which alderman? 371 00:15:11,199 --> 00:15:13,664 Spatulatori. 372 00:15:13,732 --> 00:15:15,898 Nice try. 373 00:15:15,966 --> 00:15:17,465 I'm going in. No, wait. 374 00:15:17,532 --> 00:15:18,831 You wait outside. What?! 375 00:15:18,899 --> 00:15:19,998 Very good idea. Outside. 376 00:15:21,166 --> 00:15:22,631 You wait outside, too. Me? 377 00:15:22,698 --> 00:15:24,964 Go! Are you nuts? 378 00:15:25,033 --> 00:15:25,998 Now see what you did? 379 00:15:26,066 --> 00:15:27,032 PHIL: Don't start with me. 380 00:15:27,099 --> 00:15:28,032 CHUCK: Lunatic. 381 00:15:28,099 --> 00:15:28,998 PHIL: Traitor. 382 00:15:29,066 --> 00:15:30,065 Miss, uh... Becker. 383 00:15:30,132 --> 00:15:31,165 Yes? 384 00:15:31,233 --> 00:15:33,031 I apologize for my friends. 385 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:36,965 But, you see, I've, I've got kind of a problem here. 386 00:15:37,033 --> 00:15:39,365 And I wondered if you could... 387 00:15:39,432 --> 00:15:41,298 well, I wonder if you could help me out. 388 00:15:41,366 --> 00:15:43,831 What kind of problem? 389 00:15:45,699 --> 00:15:48,764 It's kind of a personal problem and, uh, 390 00:15:48,832 --> 00:15:51,365 it would only take a minute. 391 00:15:51,432 --> 00:15:54,031 If you know what I mean. 392 00:15:56,865 --> 00:15:59,864 The bathrooms are in the lobby 393 00:15:59,932 --> 00:16:02,965 and the mayor is busy. 394 00:16:04,033 --> 00:16:05,531 (Patsy barks) 395 00:16:05,599 --> 00:16:07,332 MAYOR GARFIELD: Patsy, come back here. 396 00:16:08,765 --> 00:16:10,265 Who's this? 397 00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:12,632 I told him you were unavailable, sir. 398 00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:14,198 No, nonsense. 399 00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:17,632 A mayor's never too busy to hear from the people. 400 00:16:17,699 --> 00:16:19,132 But you have a lottery drawing 401 00:16:19,199 --> 00:16:21,531 in just a few minutes. I know, I know, I know. 402 00:16:21,599 --> 00:16:22,765 Come in. 403 00:16:22,832 --> 00:16:24,698 Just come right in. 404 00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,265 You're the fellow who approached me 405 00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:27,632 in the park, aren't you? 406 00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:29,098 Mr. Flanagan. 407 00:16:29,166 --> 00:16:31,865 RECEPTIONIST: Mayor Garfield's office. 408 00:16:31,933 --> 00:16:34,365 Me? Are you sure? 409 00:16:34,433 --> 00:16:36,365 Your Honor, it wasn't you exactly, 410 00:16:36,432 --> 00:16:37,598 it was one of your trucks. 411 00:16:37,666 --> 00:16:39,432 What kind? 412 00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,098 A trash truck. 413 00:16:41,165 --> 00:16:42,765 That's not good. 414 00:16:42,833 --> 00:16:46,765 Trash trucks are for hauling trash, not squashing dogs. 415 00:16:46,832 --> 00:16:48,931 That's Mr. Kazakian's point exactly, sir. 416 00:16:50,932 --> 00:16:52,532 Mr. Mayor. (barking) 417 00:16:52,599 --> 00:16:55,098 Ah, Flanagan, I'm glad you're here. 418 00:16:55,166 --> 00:16:56,498 You're not supposed to be granting interviews. 419 00:16:56,566 --> 00:16:57,465 It's not on the schedule. 420 00:16:57,533 --> 00:16:59,098 This is a special case. 421 00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:00,365 This gentleman has come to me 422 00:17:00,433 --> 00:17:03,064 with a rather serious disclosure. 423 00:17:03,132 --> 00:17:04,499 We've met. 424 00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:05,732 In the park. 425 00:17:05,799 --> 00:17:07,599 That's right. 426 00:17:07,667 --> 00:17:09,964 What kind of disclosure? 427 00:17:10,032 --> 00:17:11,632 It seems one of our constituents 428 00:17:11,699 --> 00:17:14,065 has a grievance with Sanitation. 429 00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:15,331 Garbage? A dog. 430 00:17:15,399 --> 00:17:16,798 Dead. 431 00:17:16,866 --> 00:17:19,965 And what does this constituent want? 432 00:17:20,032 --> 00:17:21,698 An apology. 433 00:17:21,766 --> 00:17:23,065 You're joking. 434 00:17:23,133 --> 00:17:24,432 And I'm going to grant it. 435 00:17:24,499 --> 00:17:26,531 Do you think a personal note will do the trick? 436 00:17:26,599 --> 00:17:28,032 Well, it-it, it might. 437 00:17:28,099 --> 00:17:29,265 FLANAGAN: Of course, Your Honor, 438 00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:32,131 you'd know best in these things. 439 00:17:32,199 --> 00:17:34,498 But are you sure this is wise? 440 00:17:34,565 --> 00:17:35,798 Why not? 441 00:17:35,866 --> 00:17:37,564 FLANAGAN: Think about the implications. 442 00:17:37,632 --> 00:17:38,898 It's just a note. 443 00:17:38,966 --> 00:17:40,798 FLANAGAN: On the face of it, yes. 444 00:17:40,865 --> 00:17:43,764 But we'll have the sanitation union to deal with-- 445 00:17:43,832 --> 00:17:46,431 very powerful-- not to mention insurance, 446 00:17:46,498 --> 00:17:47,764 and when this note goes public, 447 00:17:47,832 --> 00:17:49,798 there's bound to be a movement 448 00:17:49,866 --> 00:17:51,831 to refit the trucks' safety issues. 449 00:17:51,899 --> 00:17:54,198 The ASPCA will be all over us. 450 00:17:54,266 --> 00:17:56,165 Oh... Still, 451 00:17:56,232 --> 00:17:58,798 feel free to act on your instincts. 452 00:17:58,866 --> 00:18:00,764 Let me consider those. 453 00:18:00,832 --> 00:18:03,231 Very prudent, sir. 454 00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:05,832 Your Honor, all the man wants is a simple... 455 00:18:05,899 --> 00:18:07,931 Let's let the mayor decide, shall we? 456 00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,864 MISS BECKER: Mr. Flanagan. 457 00:18:09,932 --> 00:18:12,198 Mr. Roundtree is on the line. 458 00:18:12,265 --> 00:18:14,198 Uh, let me take that in my office. 459 00:18:17,599 --> 00:18:19,232 (barking) 460 00:18:21,999 --> 00:18:24,331 Your Honor, I hope you won't let that stop you. 461 00:18:24,399 --> 00:18:26,165 I've got it! 462 00:18:26,232 --> 00:18:27,665 An autograph. 463 00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:28,998 How about that? 464 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,832 Signed personally. 465 00:18:30,899 --> 00:18:32,365 Well, I don't think that's necessary. 466 00:18:32,433 --> 00:18:35,298 Nonsense. I don't mind at all. 467 00:18:35,366 --> 00:18:38,432 And send him my best wishes. 468 00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,564 Well... 469 00:18:40,632 --> 00:18:42,566 That's the best I can do. 470 00:18:45,699 --> 00:18:47,132 An autograph? 471 00:18:47,199 --> 00:18:48,365 This is it? 472 00:18:48,432 --> 00:18:49,831 What happened to "I'm sorry"? 473 00:18:49,899 --> 00:18:51,565 Well, I-I tried to get it, but before... 474 00:18:51,633 --> 00:18:53,298 It's got numbers on the back! 475 00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,998 He couldn't use a clean sheet of paper? 476 00:18:55,066 --> 00:18:56,498 I told you you wouldn't get it. 477 00:18:56,566 --> 00:18:57,598 Listen, I almost got it. 478 00:18:57,666 --> 00:18:58,765 I'm telling you, that Flanagan guy, 479 00:18:58,832 --> 00:19:00,632 he walks in there, he acts like he's the mayor. 480 00:19:00,699 --> 00:19:02,598 I almost felt sorry for the old guy up there. 481 00:19:02,666 --> 00:19:04,098 Politicians are all full it. 482 00:19:04,166 --> 00:19:06,665 And to think that I voted for that shlub. 483 00:19:06,733 --> 00:19:09,532 Hey! People's mayor?! 484 00:19:09,599 --> 00:19:11,732 Then I'm Arnold Schwarz-his-face. 485 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,797 I'm going in. Wait, wait. 486 00:19:12,865 --> 00:19:14,597 Look, Phil! 487 00:19:14,665 --> 00:19:16,731 Now, listen, you've gotta stop this or you're gonna go to jail. 488 00:19:16,799 --> 00:19:18,731 I'm telling you, next time, I'm not going to stop you. 489 00:19:18,799 --> 00:19:21,165 Okay, okay, you're right. 490 00:19:21,233 --> 00:19:23,165 You can't fight city hall. 491 00:19:23,233 --> 00:19:24,598 Exactly. 492 00:19:24,666 --> 00:19:26,298 Yeah, you're right. 493 00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:29,298 That guy, he's really doing the best he can. 494 00:19:29,366 --> 00:19:30,699 What are you doing? No, no... 495 00:19:30,766 --> 00:19:33,298 Hey, hey, let go. Not till you promise. 496 00:19:33,366 --> 00:19:34,965 Okay. I promise. 497 00:19:35,033 --> 00:19:36,798 I promise. 498 00:19:36,866 --> 00:19:38,798 Here. 499 00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:42,365 The killing stops here. 500 00:19:44,033 --> 00:19:47,132 An autograph on a used piece of paper. 501 00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:49,865 Do you think he means that? 502 00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:51,665 Absolutely. Now let's go. 503 00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:52,898 Where? 504 00:19:52,966 --> 00:19:55,865 To buy the lottery ticket. 505 00:19:55,933 --> 00:19:57,199 Okay, go ahead. 506 00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:00,798 I'm going to go home. 507 00:20:03,366 --> 00:20:05,098 FEMALE REPORTER: And, now, to recap: 508 00:20:05,166 --> 00:20:08,332 The Mayor's Met-Pik lottery failed, once more, tonight, 509 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:09,332 to produce a winner. 510 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,864 Miss Becker. Mm-hmm? 511 00:20:10,933 --> 00:20:13,464 I accidentally left some of my papers in the mayor's office, 512 00:20:13,532 --> 00:20:17,299 and I seem to be missing a particular document. 513 00:20:17,366 --> 00:20:18,464 Have you seen it? 514 00:20:18,532 --> 00:20:20,032 No, was it important? 515 00:20:21,532 --> 00:20:23,065 Probably not. 516 00:20:23,133 --> 00:20:25,131 FEMALE REPORTER (continuing): It brings to seven 517 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,764 the number of drawings without a winning match. 518 00:20:27,832 --> 00:20:28,931 Here you go, Choo-choo. 519 00:20:28,999 --> 00:20:30,698 Mop 'em up with these. 520 00:20:30,765 --> 00:20:31,931 BARTENDER: No thanks. 521 00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:33,432 I got plenty of my own. 522 00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:34,765 Turn these down, will you? 523 00:20:34,832 --> 00:20:35,998 I'm starting to get a migraine. 524 00:20:36,066 --> 00:20:37,831 Oh, don't take it so personally, Chuck. 525 00:20:37,899 --> 00:20:39,131 No one else won either. 526 00:20:39,199 --> 00:20:40,465 No one else isn't me. 527 00:20:40,533 --> 00:20:41,631 I mean, look around you. 528 00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:43,098 People are getting all stressed out. 529 00:20:43,166 --> 00:20:45,165 I'm telling you, we'd be doing this town a favor 530 00:20:45,232 --> 00:20:46,365 by winning the damn thing. 531 00:20:46,433 --> 00:20:48,065 Oh, so now it's your civic duty? 532 00:20:48,132 --> 00:20:49,798 Exactly. Ah! 533 00:20:49,866 --> 00:20:52,265 And here I thought you were just being selfish. 534 00:20:52,332 --> 00:20:54,165 Come on, take your mind off of it. 535 00:20:54,232 --> 00:20:56,398 Tell me about, um, your uncle. 536 00:20:56,466 --> 00:20:58,465 Is it from your mother's side or your father's side? 537 00:20:58,533 --> 00:20:59,965 Both. 538 00:21:00,033 --> 00:21:02,165 Oh, that's interesting. Do I hear banjos playing? 539 00:21:02,232 --> 00:21:03,666 My family's a melting pot. 540 00:21:03,733 --> 00:21:06,998 Name a country, and we have a relative in it-- even Peru. 541 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,631 Don't ask. 542 00:21:08,698 --> 00:21:09,731 They're all crazy, 543 00:21:09,798 --> 00:21:11,165 but Uncle Phil, he's the worst. 544 00:21:11,233 --> 00:21:12,697 Oh, come on, you're exaggerating. 545 00:21:12,765 --> 00:21:14,031 You think so? Yeah. 546 00:21:14,099 --> 00:21:16,532 It's not the first time he pulled a stunt like this. 547 00:21:16,599 --> 00:21:18,931 You remember about ten years ago when Reagan came to town, 548 00:21:18,999 --> 00:21:21,965 and some maniac sat naked on top of a flagpole 549 00:21:22,033 --> 00:21:23,664 to protest Trickle-Down Economics? 550 00:21:23,732 --> 00:21:24,699 Your Uncle Phil? 551 00:21:24,767 --> 00:21:25,898 In the buff. 552 00:21:25,965 --> 00:21:27,465 It wasn't pretty. 553 00:21:27,533 --> 00:21:30,065 They had to reroute the entire parade. 554 00:21:30,133 --> 00:21:32,564 It's no wonder I turned out like this. 555 00:21:32,632 --> 00:21:33,798 You mean a cynic? 556 00:21:33,865 --> 00:21:35,399 I mean broke. 557 00:21:35,466 --> 00:21:38,831 Millions of dollars right at my fingertips. 558 00:21:38,899 --> 00:21:41,065 Just out of reach. 559 00:21:41,132 --> 00:21:43,265 Seven in a row. 560 00:21:43,333 --> 00:21:45,265 What are the odds of that? 561 00:21:46,932 --> 00:21:49,064 RADIO ANNOUNCER: Breaking a record once again, 562 00:21:49,132 --> 00:21:52,331 for the seventh time, no one picked the magic numbers 563 00:21:52,399 --> 00:21:54,164 in the Mayor's Met-Pik lottery. 564 00:21:54,232 --> 00:21:56,164 A spokesman for the Mayor's Office An autograph. 565 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:58,531 said it was just a case of bad luck, 566 00:21:58,599 --> 00:22:02,398 leaving Chicagoans to ponder their fortunes. 567 00:22:02,466 --> 00:22:05,965 Once again, the numbers no one had were: 568 00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:09,698 10, 13, 26, 569 00:22:09,766 --> 00:22:12,298 29, 39, 570 00:22:12,366 --> 00:22:14,998 and last but not least, 44. 571 00:22:15,066 --> 00:22:16,264 Elsewhere in the news... 572 00:22:16,332 --> 00:22:18,298 (el train rattling in distance) 573 00:22:24,532 --> 00:22:25,731 (cat mewing) 574 00:22:25,799 --> 00:22:27,064 (paper thudding against door) 575 00:22:27,132 --> 00:22:28,931 (inhales) 576 00:22:40,099 --> 00:22:41,764 (cat meows) 577 00:22:44,699 --> 00:22:46,631 (meows) 578 00:23:05,832 --> 00:23:09,698 Oh, no... not again. 579 00:23:09,766 --> 00:23:12,165 Oh, that's great. 580 00:23:12,233 --> 00:23:14,165 That's a good one. 581 00:23:18,433 --> 00:23:19,998 (train whistle blowing, birds singing) 582 00:23:24,932 --> 00:23:26,898 (footfalls approaching) 583 00:23:31,532 --> 00:23:33,465 Phil? 584 00:23:36,966 --> 00:23:38,998 Sorry, we're closed. 585 00:23:39,066 --> 00:23:40,998 Try the luncheonette on Wabash. 586 00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:45,031 You lied to me. 587 00:23:45,099 --> 00:23:46,264 What? 588 00:23:46,332 --> 00:23:47,865 You promised me you were going to stop, 589 00:23:47,932 --> 00:23:49,265 but you aren't going to, are you? 590 00:23:49,333 --> 00:23:52,797 What kind of college was that you went to anyway? 591 00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:55,165 Phil, don't do it. 592 00:23:58,166 --> 00:24:00,098 He liked coming here. 593 00:24:04,332 --> 00:24:06,865 He liked to bark at the trains, smell the ragweed, 594 00:24:06,932 --> 00:24:09,398 catch rats. 595 00:24:09,466 --> 00:24:11,431 He was good at that. 596 00:24:11,499 --> 00:24:13,431 It's a nice view. 597 00:24:13,499 --> 00:24:15,931 Eh, there's city hall. 598 00:24:15,999 --> 00:24:18,298 Look, Phil, 599 00:24:18,366 --> 00:24:20,865 let it go and take the autograph. 600 00:24:20,932 --> 00:24:23,065 No, thank you. 601 00:24:23,133 --> 00:24:24,198 Listen, nothing's gonna bring Bugle back, 602 00:24:24,266 --> 00:24:25,365 and if you keep this up... 603 00:24:25,433 --> 00:24:28,432 That's not what this is all about. 604 00:24:28,499 --> 00:24:30,432 Dogs are dogs, 605 00:24:30,499 --> 00:24:31,965 and principle is principle. 606 00:24:34,233 --> 00:24:35,865 Funny thing. 607 00:24:35,932 --> 00:24:38,898 My relatives came here from all over the world-- 608 00:24:38,966 --> 00:24:41,431 Russia, Armenia, Peru. 609 00:24:41,499 --> 00:24:43,431 Don't ask. 610 00:24:43,499 --> 00:24:46,198 They came here because they knew that here, 611 00:24:46,266 --> 00:24:48,198 they would get a fair shake. 612 00:24:48,266 --> 00:24:50,031 It didn't matter if you painted houses 613 00:24:50,099 --> 00:24:51,565 or sold hot dogs. 614 00:24:51,633 --> 00:24:54,198 One guy was as good as the next. 615 00:24:54,266 --> 00:24:55,499 People counted. 616 00:24:55,566 --> 00:24:56,831 But, today, 617 00:24:56,898 --> 00:25:00,098 my God, there-there's something wrong. 618 00:25:00,166 --> 00:25:02,665 The guys in charge-- they say they have no time. 619 00:25:02,733 --> 00:25:04,898 Why, if I would run my cart like that, 620 00:25:04,966 --> 00:25:06,398 I'd be broke in a week. 621 00:25:08,999 --> 00:25:12,164 You know what I'm saying, don't you? 622 00:25:12,232 --> 00:25:15,099 Yeah. 623 00:25:15,166 --> 00:25:17,131 You know, I... 624 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,465 I said that he liked to catch rats. 625 00:25:20,533 --> 00:25:22,465 Eh, he... 626 00:25:22,533 --> 00:25:24,065 I lied. 627 00:25:24,132 --> 00:25:25,864 He never caught one, 628 00:25:25,932 --> 00:25:28,131 that stupid mutt. 629 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,698 You know, you're right. 630 00:25:30,765 --> 00:25:34,798 Nothing will ever bring him back. 631 00:25:45,065 --> 00:25:47,132 It's over. 632 00:26:07,898 --> 00:26:11,032 CHUCK: That's what he told you? 633 00:26:11,099 --> 00:26:12,464 Don't believe him. 634 00:26:12,532 --> 00:26:13,898 He's lying. 635 00:26:13,966 --> 00:26:15,198 Chuck, he's your uncle. 636 00:26:15,266 --> 00:26:17,198 CHUCK: Twice removed. 637 00:26:17,266 --> 00:26:19,031 I say let him go to jail. 638 00:26:19,099 --> 00:26:21,065 So much for blood being thicker than water. 639 00:26:21,133 --> 00:26:23,698 Look, the guy said he'd stop, and I for one believe him. 640 00:26:23,766 --> 00:26:25,898 Gare, I've known him for 20 years. 641 00:26:25,965 --> 00:26:27,499 He's out of his mind. 642 00:26:27,566 --> 00:26:28,898 Look, he's an old man. 643 00:26:28,965 --> 00:26:30,231 So, he's a little hotheaded. 644 00:26:30,300 --> 00:26:31,532 So was Genghis Khan. 645 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,098 You tried to help him twice. 646 00:26:33,166 --> 00:26:34,931 Just forget about it; let it go. 647 00:26:34,999 --> 00:26:36,864 I can't do that. Why not? 648 00:26:36,932 --> 00:26:38,865 Because the guy cares. 649 00:26:38,933 --> 00:26:40,698 I mean, he-he believes in things 650 00:26:40,766 --> 00:26:42,565 that most of us take for granted. 651 00:26:42,633 --> 00:26:44,998 Phil? Like what? 652 00:26:45,065 --> 00:26:48,131 Like, uh... like truth, like justice. 653 00:26:48,199 --> 00:26:49,365 Like the American way? 654 00:26:49,433 --> 00:26:50,798 I'm getting out of here 655 00:26:50,866 --> 00:26:52,697 before you start singing the national anthem. 656 00:26:52,765 --> 00:26:54,632 Oh, 657 00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:57,632 by the way, Gary, let me remind you of six numbers 658 00:26:57,699 --> 00:27:01,498 that appear in my newspaper that begin with a ten and 659 00:27:01,566 --> 00:27:02,731 end with a 44. 660 00:27:02,799 --> 00:27:03,898 MARISSA: What's that? 661 00:27:03,966 --> 00:27:05,231 CHUCK: Last night's 662 00:27:05,299 --> 00:27:06,398 lottery numbers. 663 00:27:06,466 --> 00:27:07,965 The one that no one won. 664 00:27:08,032 --> 00:27:09,765 The one that broke my heart. 665 00:27:09,833 --> 00:27:12,031 I'm getting out of here. Here. 666 00:27:12,099 --> 00:27:14,198 Keep it. A little souvenir. 667 00:27:14,266 --> 00:27:15,931 Don't mind him. 668 00:27:15,999 --> 00:27:17,931 He was born that way. 669 00:27:17,999 --> 00:27:20,164 (instrumental blues playing in background) 670 00:27:25,899 --> 00:27:28,832 GARY: I don't believe it. 671 00:27:28,899 --> 00:27:30,865 Gary, what is it? 672 00:27:30,933 --> 00:27:32,865 I don't believe it. 673 00:27:34,666 --> 00:27:37,665 FLANAGAN: Where is it? Damn it. 674 00:27:37,733 --> 00:27:40,465 It's got to be here somewhere. 675 00:27:40,533 --> 00:27:42,532 Come on... 676 00:27:46,633 --> 00:27:48,232 That's my desk. 677 00:27:48,299 --> 00:27:50,732 So it is. 678 00:27:50,799 --> 00:27:53,098 You mind if I ask what you're doing in it? 679 00:27:53,166 --> 00:27:54,265 I'm missing a document. 680 00:27:54,333 --> 00:27:55,765 Nothing you need to know about. 681 00:27:55,832 --> 00:27:58,265 As usual. 682 00:27:58,332 --> 00:28:00,198 Are you spying on me? 683 00:28:00,266 --> 00:28:02,165 It's my office. 684 00:28:02,233 --> 00:28:04,165 What are you doing here, anyway? 685 00:28:04,232 --> 00:28:05,998 I was going over some cabinet memos, 686 00:28:06,065 --> 00:28:07,499 notes on meetings. 687 00:28:07,566 --> 00:28:09,732 Has any of this been in my briefings? 688 00:28:09,799 --> 00:28:11,098 W-Where did you get those? 689 00:28:11,166 --> 00:28:13,532 You don't need to have those. 690 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,699 Tom... 691 00:28:15,767 --> 00:28:17,165 something's not right. 692 00:28:17,232 --> 00:28:18,931 Really? 693 00:28:18,999 --> 00:28:20,598 With what? Oh... 694 00:28:20,665 --> 00:28:22,065 The other day in the park; 695 00:28:22,133 --> 00:28:24,565 that fellow; the press-- 696 00:28:24,633 --> 00:28:26,798 Which is why I suggested skipping those walks. 697 00:28:26,866 --> 00:28:28,365 That's not what I mean. 698 00:28:28,432 --> 00:28:30,265 I haven't been paying attention. 699 00:28:30,333 --> 00:28:31,597 To what? 700 00:28:31,665 --> 00:28:34,365 To what's going on in my city. 701 00:28:34,432 --> 00:28:36,597 I have lost touch with the people. 702 00:28:36,665 --> 00:28:38,332 I-I think... 703 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,598 You didn't get elected to think. 704 00:28:40,666 --> 00:28:42,332 What?! 705 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,631 Nothing. 706 00:28:44,699 --> 00:28:45,898 Just a minute. 707 00:28:45,966 --> 00:28:47,398 It seems to me I have a right to... 708 00:28:47,466 --> 00:28:49,399 No, you don't. 709 00:28:49,466 --> 00:28:51,764 You gave up that right the day you said: 710 00:28:51,832 --> 00:28:53,765 "Make me mayor." 711 00:28:53,833 --> 00:28:57,898 You're an image, Your Honor, an image 712 00:28:57,965 --> 00:29:00,831 I made. 713 00:29:00,899 --> 00:29:03,198 Go home, Your Honor. 714 00:29:03,266 --> 00:29:05,331 It's late. 715 00:29:11,699 --> 00:29:13,132 GARY: Yesterday's numbers, 716 00:29:13,199 --> 00:29:15,232 the piece of paper the mayor gave Phil. 717 00:29:15,299 --> 00:29:17,065 You want to help me out here? 718 00:29:17,133 --> 00:29:18,298 They match. 719 00:29:18,366 --> 00:29:20,598 So someone wrote down some numbers-- so what? 720 00:29:20,666 --> 00:29:23,698 So Phil had this yesterday, before the lottery closed, 721 00:29:23,766 --> 00:29:25,865 so that means that somebody knew the numbers 722 00:29:25,932 --> 00:29:27,065 before they were picked. 723 00:29:27,133 --> 00:29:28,431 Someone who? 724 00:29:28,499 --> 00:29:29,698 Well, I don't know. 725 00:29:29,766 --> 00:29:31,132 I mean, the mayor, uh... 726 00:29:31,199 --> 00:29:32,732 But that doesn't make any sense. 727 00:29:32,799 --> 00:29:35,598 I mean, if they had the numbers, why didn't they win? 728 00:29:37,799 --> 00:29:39,732 That's a good question. 729 00:29:42,932 --> 00:29:46,198 What happens if nobody wins this damn thing at all? 730 00:29:46,266 --> 00:29:47,565 I'm not sure. 731 00:29:47,633 --> 00:29:49,165 BARTENDER: I know. 732 00:29:49,233 --> 00:29:50,332 Ten rollovers in a row, 733 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:51,931 and the jackpot goes back to zero. 734 00:29:51,999 --> 00:29:53,332 The money reverts to the city. 735 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:54,931 Some kind of a fund or something. 736 00:29:57,467 --> 00:29:58,598 I gotta go. 737 00:29:58,665 --> 00:30:00,099 Where? 738 00:30:00,166 --> 00:30:01,764 To see the mayor. 739 00:30:01,832 --> 00:30:02,998 At this hour? 740 00:30:03,066 --> 00:30:05,332 Hey, Pete, get Marissa a cab, would you? 741 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:06,998 FEMALE OFFICER (over radio): 73, go ahead. 742 00:30:07,066 --> 00:30:08,932 MALE OFFICER (over radio): 1518 West 158th. 743 00:30:08,999 --> 00:30:12,131 FEMALE OFFICER: That's one-five-one-eight West one-five-eight Street? 744 00:30:12,199 --> 00:30:14,198 MALE OFFICER: That's a roger. 745 00:30:14,266 --> 00:30:16,198 (radio communication continues indistinctly) 746 00:30:27,632 --> 00:30:29,565 I don't get it. 747 00:30:29,632 --> 00:30:31,698 When did I approve this? 748 00:30:31,766 --> 00:30:33,432 (sighs) 749 00:30:33,499 --> 00:30:35,298 An image, he said. 750 00:30:35,366 --> 00:30:37,531 An image he made. 751 00:30:39,833 --> 00:30:43,965 Me, the best alderman the 7th District ever had, 752 00:30:44,032 --> 00:30:45,998 right, Patsy? 753 00:30:46,065 --> 00:30:48,231 (growls) 754 00:30:48,299 --> 00:30:50,298 (shoes squeaking) 755 00:30:54,733 --> 00:30:55,831 The worst thing is... 756 00:30:55,899 --> 00:30:56,998 (Patsy growls) 757 00:30:57,065 --> 00:30:58,165 ...I let it happen. 758 00:30:58,232 --> 00:31:01,699 I told myself I was doing some good. 759 00:31:01,767 --> 00:31:03,832 Yeah. 760 00:31:03,899 --> 00:31:05,832 I've done nothing 761 00:31:05,899 --> 00:31:07,832 except kid myself. 762 00:31:07,899 --> 00:31:10,099 (barking) 763 00:31:10,166 --> 00:31:12,265 Patsy? 764 00:31:12,332 --> 00:31:15,231 What is it? 765 00:31:15,299 --> 00:31:18,765 Hello? 766 00:31:18,833 --> 00:31:21,399 Is someone there? 767 00:31:21,466 --> 00:31:23,399 Hello? 768 00:31:24,832 --> 00:31:25,931 Hello?! 769 00:31:25,999 --> 00:31:27,697 (shoes squeaking) 770 00:31:27,765 --> 00:31:28,898 Who are you? 771 00:31:28,966 --> 00:31:30,232 What do you want? 772 00:31:30,300 --> 00:31:34,098 Phil Kazakian... citizen! 773 00:31:34,166 --> 00:31:35,699 (shoes squeaking) 774 00:31:35,766 --> 00:31:39,399 (screaming) 775 00:31:39,466 --> 00:31:40,765 (groans) 776 00:31:40,833 --> 00:31:43,398 Aah... 777 00:31:43,465 --> 00:31:45,531 I came for your dog. 778 00:31:45,599 --> 00:31:47,532 (Patsy barking) 779 00:31:47,599 --> 00:31:49,098 MALE OFFICER (over radio): Two Robert 82. 780 00:31:49,166 --> 00:31:50,498 Receive clear from Hyperion? 781 00:31:50,566 --> 00:31:52,498 Excuse me... does the mayor live here? 782 00:31:52,566 --> 00:31:54,265 Yeah. Thank you. 783 00:31:54,332 --> 00:31:56,098 Hold it. You can't go in there. 784 00:31:56,166 --> 00:31:58,598 That's all right. I gotta talk to the mayor. 785 00:31:58,666 --> 00:31:59,765 It's-It's okay, Dave. 786 00:31:59,832 --> 00:32:01,065 I was expecting this gentleman. 787 00:32:01,133 --> 00:32:03,031 (indistinct police radio communication) 788 00:32:03,099 --> 00:32:05,931 How did you know I was going to be here? 789 00:32:05,999 --> 00:32:08,331 PHIL: I told him. 790 00:32:08,399 --> 00:32:10,499 By the way, you're late. 791 00:32:10,566 --> 00:32:11,697 (muttering): Oh, not again. 792 00:32:11,765 --> 00:32:13,531 What are you doing here? You promised. 793 00:32:13,599 --> 00:32:15,764 Sue me. 794 00:32:15,832 --> 00:32:16,964 Sue you...? 795 00:32:17,032 --> 00:32:18,231 Excuse me for interrupting, 796 00:32:18,299 --> 00:32:20,398 but before I have you drawn and quartered, 797 00:32:20,465 --> 00:32:23,465 would somebody like to tell me what's going on? 798 00:32:23,533 --> 00:32:25,198 (sighs) 799 00:32:25,266 --> 00:32:29,764 PHIL: Your Honor, it's about a rat in Denmark. 800 00:32:29,832 --> 00:32:31,898 RADIO ANNOUNCER: Good morning. 801 00:32:31,965 --> 00:32:33,964 It's Sunday in Chicago, 802 00:32:34,032 --> 00:32:37,398 where lottery fever has once again reached its peak. 803 00:32:37,465 --> 00:32:38,698 The jackpot stands 804 00:32:38,766 --> 00:32:41,064 at nearly 20 million and counting, 805 00:32:41,132 --> 00:32:43,498 with Met-Pik machines staying open till 7:00 tonight. 806 00:32:43,565 --> 00:32:45,098 And from Las Vegas, 807 00:32:45,165 --> 00:32:47,464 news that odds-makers have posted seven-to-one odds 808 00:32:47,532 --> 00:32:50,098 against another Met-Pik mismatch. 809 00:32:50,165 --> 00:32:51,698 So if you're thinking about it, 810 00:32:51,766 --> 00:32:53,798 there's still time to go out and buy 811 00:32:53,866 --> 00:32:55,531 your lottery ticket for tonight's big drawing. 812 00:32:55,598 --> 00:32:57,032 (paper thudding against door, cat meowing) 813 00:32:57,099 --> 00:32:58,564 Now, a quick look at traffic. 814 00:32:58,632 --> 00:33:01,098 We have a backup northbound on the Dan Ryan, 815 00:33:01,166 --> 00:33:02,632 due to some construction. 816 00:33:02,700 --> 00:33:05,231 The Eisenhower is looking like smooth sailing into the Loop. 817 00:33:05,300 --> 00:33:06,931 And the Stevenson was clear sailing 818 00:33:06,999 --> 00:33:09,098 up until a couple of minutes ago... 819 00:33:11,366 --> 00:33:13,465 Stay off the furniture. 820 00:33:13,533 --> 00:33:15,532 (radio broadcast continues in background) 821 00:33:19,633 --> 00:33:21,766 Chuck, it's me. 822 00:33:21,832 --> 00:33:23,831 Feel like buying a lottery ticket? 823 00:33:48,366 --> 00:33:51,298 (indistinct conversations) 824 00:33:52,366 --> 00:33:53,965 WOMAN: Hup! Heads up. 825 00:33:54,032 --> 00:33:55,631 (reporters clamoring) 826 00:33:55,699 --> 00:33:56,865 All right, everyone be patient. 827 00:33:56,932 --> 00:33:58,431 His Honor will be here soon. 828 00:33:58,499 --> 00:34:01,098 Mr. Flanagan, does the mayor expect to find a winner tonight? 829 00:34:01,166 --> 00:34:02,764 Absolutely. We all do. 830 00:34:02,832 --> 00:34:05,365 Uh, sir, is there any truth to the rumors 831 00:34:05,432 --> 00:34:07,697 that the mayor's planning on making a statement? 832 00:34:07,765 --> 00:34:11,165 Well, of course, that would be up to him. 833 00:34:11,233 --> 00:34:12,265 (reporters clamoring) 834 00:34:12,333 --> 00:34:13,365 Excuse me. 835 00:34:13,432 --> 00:34:15,032 (reporters clamoring, calling out) 836 00:34:15,099 --> 00:34:17,731 FLANAGAN: We need to talk-- now. 837 00:34:22,499 --> 00:34:24,098 What kind of statement? 838 00:34:24,165 --> 00:34:25,431 None that I know of. 839 00:34:25,499 --> 00:34:27,265 Not allowed. Check it out. 840 00:34:27,332 --> 00:34:29,265 (sighs) 841 00:34:41,366 --> 00:34:43,299 (door shuts) 842 00:34:45,366 --> 00:34:46,631 Roger? 843 00:34:46,698 --> 00:34:47,965 Huh? Ready? 844 00:34:48,032 --> 00:34:50,466 Uh, yeah, yeah, just about. Just be sure 845 00:34:50,533 --> 00:34:51,499 you don't screw it up. 846 00:34:51,567 --> 00:34:52,998 I need this to go without a hitch. 847 00:34:53,066 --> 00:34:54,564 Uh-huh. 848 00:34:54,632 --> 00:34:55,898 It's the last time. 849 00:34:55,965 --> 00:34:56,998 Make it work. 850 00:34:57,066 --> 00:34:58,831 Oh, come on, baby. 851 00:34:58,898 --> 00:35:00,564 Find that missing number. 852 00:35:08,799 --> 00:35:09,965 Come on. Hurry up. 853 00:35:10,032 --> 00:35:11,631 What, did you break a leg or something? 854 00:35:11,699 --> 00:35:12,498 What's your hurry? 855 00:35:12,566 --> 00:35:13,498 What's my hurry? 856 00:35:13,566 --> 00:35:14,898 I'll tell you my hurry. 857 00:35:14,966 --> 00:35:17,331 It's a two with seven zeros after it. 858 00:35:17,399 --> 00:35:20,332 (siren wailing in distance) 859 00:35:27,300 --> 00:35:30,232 Well, here we are. 860 00:35:30,299 --> 00:35:32,065 Wish me luck. 861 00:35:32,132 --> 00:35:34,065 You don't need luck. 862 00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:36,398 You need a smaller car. 863 00:35:36,466 --> 00:35:39,398 I'll keep that in mind. 864 00:35:39,466 --> 00:35:42,398 By the way, I'm sorry about your dog. 865 00:35:42,466 --> 00:35:44,398 Put it in writing. 866 00:35:46,633 --> 00:35:48,566 Thanks, Pete. 867 00:35:53,667 --> 00:35:55,599 Uh, Mr. Mayor, glad you could make it. 868 00:35:55,667 --> 00:35:56,998 Thanks, Tom. So am I. 869 00:35:57,066 --> 00:35:58,764 I have prepared a statement for you to... 870 00:35:58,832 --> 00:36:00,764 Oh, don't bother. I've got my own. 871 00:36:00,832 --> 00:36:02,931 Ah, the members of the press. 872 00:36:02,999 --> 00:36:04,931 (reporters clamoring) How are we doing tonight? 873 00:36:04,999 --> 00:36:08,299 (reporters shouting out questions, all at once) 874 00:36:08,366 --> 00:36:09,332 Okay. 875 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,065 Let's get in here and buy, buy, buy. 876 00:36:11,133 --> 00:36:12,399 No, no, no, no-- not yet. 877 00:36:12,465 --> 00:36:13,431 Are you nuts? 878 00:36:13,498 --> 00:36:15,098 The thing closes in six minutes. 879 00:36:15,166 --> 00:36:16,764 Five minutes. 880 00:36:16,832 --> 00:36:18,764 What is your problem? 881 00:36:18,832 --> 00:36:21,764 I don't know, I just, I don't feel lucky yet. 882 00:36:21,832 --> 00:36:23,932 Ah... gum. 883 00:36:23,999 --> 00:36:25,531 Gary... 884 00:36:25,598 --> 00:36:26,798 you don't need to feel lucky. 885 00:36:26,865 --> 00:36:28,664 You got the numbers right there in the paper. 886 00:36:28,732 --> 00:36:30,132 Can I help you? 887 00:36:30,199 --> 00:36:31,464 Spearmint. 888 00:36:31,532 --> 00:36:33,132 Oh, I get it. 889 00:36:33,199 --> 00:36:35,299 You're trying to torture me, aren't you, huh? 890 00:36:35,366 --> 00:36:37,032 This is kind some kind of sick revenge. 891 00:36:37,099 --> 00:36:38,864 You want some gum? 892 00:36:38,932 --> 00:36:40,998 MAYOR GARFIELD: We're working on that at this moment, 893 00:36:41,065 --> 00:36:43,331 and I think that we can do even better. 894 00:36:43,399 --> 00:36:45,564 I agree the infrastructure situation needs 895 00:36:45,632 --> 00:36:48,898 a thorough review, as well as certain funds. 896 00:36:48,966 --> 00:36:50,064 Excuse me, sir. 897 00:36:50,132 --> 00:36:51,298 We'll need you in makeup. 898 00:36:51,366 --> 00:36:53,064 I'm going to answer more questions later. 899 00:36:53,132 --> 00:36:54,498 REPORTER: Thank you, Mr. Mayor. 900 00:36:54,565 --> 00:36:55,764 Is he okay? 901 00:36:55,832 --> 00:36:57,164 I think so. Why? 902 00:36:57,232 --> 00:36:58,831 He talked to us. 903 00:36:58,899 --> 00:37:00,831 By himself. 904 00:37:02,533 --> 00:37:04,465 FLOOR DIRECTOR: Ladies and gentlemen, please clear the floor. 905 00:37:04,533 --> 00:37:06,465 We're on the air in ten. 906 00:37:06,533 --> 00:37:09,465 He's making statements. 907 00:37:09,533 --> 00:37:11,465 About what? Well, I didn't hear it all, 908 00:37:11,533 --> 00:37:13,631 but I think it was about the emergency fund. 909 00:37:13,699 --> 00:37:16,131 No, you heard wrong. 910 00:37:16,199 --> 00:37:18,131 He's not smart enough to know about that. 911 00:37:18,199 --> 00:37:20,631 But he was... I said you misheard. 912 00:37:28,199 --> 00:37:30,165 Roundtree, where are we? 913 00:37:30,232 --> 00:37:32,498 Getting ready to program the onstage computer. 914 00:37:32,566 --> 00:37:33,964 Wait a little longer. 915 00:37:34,032 --> 00:37:35,132 Uh, that's cutting it pretty close. 916 00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:36,165 It takes ten minutes... 917 00:37:36,232 --> 00:37:38,064 I don't care how long it takes. 918 00:37:38,132 --> 00:37:40,098 I said wait. 919 00:37:40,166 --> 00:37:42,631 Can I buy a bag of those peanuts back there? 920 00:37:42,699 --> 00:37:44,532 CHUCK: Look, don't do this. My heart can't take it. 921 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:46,132 Would you buy a ticket? 922 00:37:46,199 --> 00:37:47,198 Well, how much longer? 923 00:37:47,265 --> 00:37:48,498 Three minutes. 924 00:37:50,499 --> 00:37:51,365 (mumbling): Three minutes. 925 00:37:51,432 --> 00:37:52,598 You want a peanut? 926 00:37:52,666 --> 00:37:53,698 No. 927 00:37:53,765 --> 00:37:54,865 There's still two minutes. 928 00:37:54,933 --> 00:37:56,432 You're sure no one will pick it? 929 00:37:56,499 --> 00:37:57,465 It's never happened before. 930 00:37:57,533 --> 00:37:59,465 I mean, for somebody to pick it now-- huh! 931 00:37:59,533 --> 00:38:01,465 They'd have to be a psychic. 932 00:38:03,633 --> 00:38:05,399 FLANAGAN: There it is. 933 00:38:05,466 --> 00:38:07,399 29, 6... 934 00:38:07,466 --> 00:38:08,831 GARY: Seventeen... 935 00:38:08,899 --> 00:38:10,431 CHUCK: Seventeen. 936 00:38:10,499 --> 00:38:11,465 Thirty-eight. 937 00:38:11,533 --> 00:38:12,465 Three, eight. 938 00:38:13,933 --> 00:38:15,532 Twenty. Twenty. 939 00:38:17,099 --> 00:38:18,898 ...and seven. 940 00:38:18,966 --> 00:38:21,531 GARY: Yes, it's in. 941 00:38:21,598 --> 00:38:22,697 We did it. 942 00:38:22,765 --> 00:38:24,565 Do it? 943 00:38:24,633 --> 00:38:26,965 Do it. 944 00:38:31,798 --> 00:38:33,265 Yes! Yes! Yes! 945 00:38:35,932 --> 00:38:37,898 Gare? 946 00:38:37,965 --> 00:38:39,232 I gotta go. 947 00:38:39,299 --> 00:38:41,232 Hey, when do I get my share? 948 00:38:41,299 --> 00:38:42,898 Six weeks. 949 00:38:42,965 --> 00:38:44,731 Once it slips through the mayor's fund. 950 00:38:44,798 --> 00:38:46,499 Hey, don't you feel bad about this? 951 00:38:46,565 --> 00:38:48,664 I mean, scheming right out from under the mayor's nose? 952 00:38:48,732 --> 00:38:50,499 I paid my dues. 953 00:38:50,565 --> 00:38:53,499 He gets the mansion, I'll settle for this. 954 00:38:53,565 --> 00:38:56,332 I'm not greedy. 955 00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,332 But... 956 00:39:14,032 --> 00:39:15,965 (beeping) 957 00:39:17,533 --> 00:39:20,864 Okay, this is it. From now on, things are going to be different. 958 00:39:20,932 --> 00:39:22,031 FLOOR DIRECTOR: Quiet, everybody! 959 00:39:22,100 --> 00:39:23,898 You and I are going to be on Easy Street. 960 00:39:23,966 --> 00:39:25,232 FLOOR DIRECTOR: Here we go-- five, four, three... 961 00:39:25,300 --> 00:39:27,365 ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, Mayor Garfield. 962 00:39:27,433 --> 00:39:30,399 Well, here we are, again. 963 00:39:30,467 --> 00:39:33,564 I know you're all anxious to get to the drawing. 964 00:39:33,632 --> 00:39:35,265 Oh, there's an understatement. 965 00:39:35,333 --> 00:39:37,098 GARFIELD: But before we do, 966 00:39:37,166 --> 00:39:39,764 I have something to say to the people of Chicago. 967 00:39:39,832 --> 00:39:41,031 Oh, man. 968 00:39:41,099 --> 00:39:42,131 Get it out. 969 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:43,465 I know you've been unhappy. 970 00:39:43,533 --> 00:39:45,466 Well, I have, too, 971 00:39:45,533 --> 00:39:48,298 and tonight, I want to straighten that out. 972 00:39:48,366 --> 00:39:52,431 Sometimes a politician loses sight of what's important, 973 00:39:52,498 --> 00:39:54,731 and I don't mean legislation 974 00:39:54,799 --> 00:39:58,631 or highways or even lotteries twice a week. 975 00:39:58,699 --> 00:40:01,965 Sometimes, in trying to be all things to everyone, 976 00:40:02,032 --> 00:40:04,565 he ends up being nothing to all. 977 00:40:04,633 --> 00:40:05,965 Got that right. Yeah. Mm-hmm. 978 00:40:06,033 --> 00:40:07,499 But I'll tell you this, I can't take this. 979 00:40:07,567 --> 00:40:09,099 starting tomorrow, I gotta go to the john. 980 00:40:09,166 --> 00:40:10,532 things will be different, Look, wait here. 981 00:40:10,599 --> 00:40:13,731 for the guy in the street, and for the guy in the mansion. 982 00:40:13,799 --> 00:40:17,898 Starting tomorrow, my door is open to all. 983 00:40:17,966 --> 00:40:19,432 That's how I started out, 984 00:40:19,499 --> 00:40:21,432 that's how I'm going to finish up. 985 00:40:23,033 --> 00:40:26,631 Attaboy, Mr. Mayor. 986 00:40:26,698 --> 00:40:31,798 So, now, miss, if you will do the honors. 987 00:40:31,865 --> 00:40:35,865 (fanfare playing) 988 00:40:46,666 --> 00:40:49,131 Here we go. 989 00:40:49,199 --> 00:40:53,965 ANNOUNCER: Our onstage MET-PIK computer is busy shuffling those numbers 990 00:40:54,032 --> 00:40:56,764 in random order. 991 00:40:59,799 --> 00:41:02,265 (beeping, clicking) 992 00:41:02,333 --> 00:41:03,398 GARFIELD: Twenty-nine, 993 00:41:03,466 --> 00:41:05,664 six, seventeen, 994 00:41:05,732 --> 00:41:08,898 38, 20, and seven. 995 00:41:08,966 --> 00:41:10,731 Those are the numbers. 996 00:41:10,798 --> 00:41:14,232 And now, miss, do we have a winning match? 997 00:41:17,366 --> 00:41:19,965 Not a chance. 998 00:41:20,032 --> 00:41:21,631 (bell clanging) 999 00:41:21,699 --> 00:41:23,131 We have a winner! 1000 00:41:23,199 --> 00:41:26,132 No. 1001 00:41:27,199 --> 00:41:29,565 And a loser. 1002 00:41:29,633 --> 00:41:30,666 What's this? 1003 00:41:30,732 --> 00:41:31,631 OFFICER: You're under arrest, sir. 1004 00:41:31,699 --> 00:41:32,965 Conspiracy to fraud, 1005 00:41:33,032 --> 00:41:34,332 misuse of city property. 1006 00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,332 You have no proof of that. 1007 00:41:36,399 --> 00:41:39,398 Um, actually, they might. 1008 00:41:39,466 --> 00:41:41,731 Let me talk to the mayor. 1009 00:41:41,799 --> 00:41:43,665 Sorry, the mayor can't see you. Come on. 1010 00:41:43,733 --> 00:41:45,365 Hey, come on. 1011 00:41:45,433 --> 00:41:47,264 You have the right to remain silent. 1012 00:41:47,332 --> 00:41:49,831 If you give up that right... 1013 00:41:49,899 --> 00:41:51,832 What happened? 1014 00:41:51,899 --> 00:41:53,832 Did we win? 1015 00:41:53,899 --> 00:41:55,832 Gary? 1016 00:41:56,899 --> 00:41:59,031 Gary?! 1017 00:41:59,099 --> 00:42:02,099 (reporters clamoring) 1018 00:42:11,366 --> 00:42:13,298 Me? I'd keep it. 1019 00:42:13,366 --> 00:42:14,632 Yeah? Sure. 1020 00:42:14,700 --> 00:42:16,632 If I figured I bought it, it's rightfully mine. 1021 00:42:16,700 --> 00:42:18,632 I'd get myself another cart-- 1022 00:42:18,700 --> 00:42:21,632 maybe two-- with chrome, maybe a puppy. 1023 00:42:21,700 --> 00:42:23,632 You're going to do that anyway. 1024 00:42:23,700 --> 00:42:25,632 So, what's it going to be? 1025 00:42:25,700 --> 00:42:26,765 I don't know. 1026 00:42:26,833 --> 00:42:28,599 I figure I can get one of these anywhere. 1027 00:42:28,666 --> 00:42:30,265 You know, what I really need is a job. 1028 00:42:30,333 --> 00:42:32,031 Well, so why don't you come and work with me? 1029 00:42:32,099 --> 00:42:33,532 Selling hot dogs?! 1030 00:42:33,599 --> 00:42:36,198 Why not? Flexible hours, room to advance. 1031 00:42:36,266 --> 00:42:37,532 I forgot. 1032 00:42:37,599 --> 00:42:39,532 You're a vegetarian. 1033 00:42:39,599 --> 00:42:41,865 Well, how about maybe a newspaper reporter? 1034 00:42:41,932 --> 00:42:43,865 Oh, no, no. No thank you. 1035 00:42:43,932 --> 00:42:46,865 You know, I came here on a tuna boat... 1036 00:42:46,932 --> 00:42:48,365 CHUCK: Ah, well. 1037 00:42:48,432 --> 00:42:50,365 Easy come, easy go. 1038 00:42:50,432 --> 00:42:52,365 It's a great country, isn't it? 1039 00:42:52,432 --> 00:42:55,365 CHUCK: Who needs 20 million clams, anyway? 1040 00:42:55,432 --> 00:42:58,532 After all, this is America 1041 00:42:58,599 --> 00:43:01,532 where every day is a new deal, 1042 00:43:01,599 --> 00:43:04,599 and dreams are worth their weight in gold. 1043 00:43:04,666 --> 00:43:05,932 (cat meowing) 1044 00:43:05,999 --> 00:43:08,932 Where the little guy can reach the top, 1045 00:43:08,999 --> 00:43:12,932 even if he has to crawl up a drain pipe to get there. 1046 00:43:14,833 --> 00:43:16,798 And where, sooner or later, 1047 00:43:16,865 --> 00:43:18,798 everyone has a shot 1048 00:43:18,865 --> 00:43:21,798 at getting exactly what they deserve. 1049 00:43:23,865 --> 00:43:26,798 Sister Mary Agnes found a winning lottery ticket 1050 00:43:26,865 --> 00:43:28,731 on her doorstep, and donated the dough 1051 00:43:28,799 --> 00:43:30,731 to a foster care center... 1052 00:43:32,899 --> 00:43:34,365 ...which, by the way, 1053 00:43:34,432 --> 00:43:36,965 is exactly what I would have done. 1054 00:43:37,033 --> 00:43:38,965 (cat meows) 1054 00:43:39,305 --> 00:44:39,403 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP