1
00:00:02,299 --> 00:00:03,731
(children singing
"Deck the Halls")
2
00:00:03,798 --> 00:00:06,731
♪ La, la-la, la, la, la, la, la,
la-la-la-la-la, la-la, la, la ♪
3
00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:08,931
Yay!
Whoa, Daddy!
4
00:00:08,999 --> 00:00:11,631
♪ La, la-la, la, la, la, la, la,
la-la-la-la-la, la-la, la, la. ♪
5
00:00:11,698 --> 00:00:13,565
(siren wailing)
6
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:21,499
(indistinct police radio
communication)
7
00:00:21,565 --> 00:00:22,532
OFFICER:
Okay, follow me!
8
00:00:22,599 --> 00:00:23,532
What's the story?
9
00:00:23,599 --> 00:00:25,065
The bomber's
on the roof!
10
00:00:25,133 --> 00:00:26,232
Get him surrounded.
There!
11
00:00:26,300 --> 00:00:28,298
Uh, nothing.
Okay, what do we got?
12
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:36,074
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
13
00:00:55,333 --> 00:00:57,965
I got him!
I finally nailed him.
14
00:01:01,966 --> 00:01:03,231
(sighs)
15
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:07,831
That ain't
the bomber!
16
00:01:07,898 --> 00:01:10,998
(siren wailing nearby)
17
00:01:11,066 --> 00:01:12,864
Get him out of here.
18
00:01:15,299 --> 00:01:17,665
(theme music playing)
19
00:01:39,732 --> 00:01:43,432
♪ ♪
20
00:01:58,166 --> 00:02:01,232
REPORTER:
Good morning. It's Christmas Eve
day here in Chicago.
21
00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:04,365
Time to hang that mistletoe
and hit those stores.
22
00:02:04,432 --> 00:02:07,365
The temperature stands
at a chilly 33 degrees,
23
00:02:07,432 --> 00:02:09,931
but forecasters are calling
for things to warm up
24
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:12,231
for Santa's arrival tonight.
25
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:15,132
In the news today, police
continue their search
26
00:02:15,199 --> 00:02:17,231
for the elusive
Teddy Bear Bomber,
27
00:02:17,299 --> 00:02:19,698
who has terrorized Chicago
for almost three weeks.
28
00:02:19,766 --> 00:02:21,532
(knock at door)
Yeah.
29
00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:23,098
CHUCK:
Hey, buddy!
30
00:02:25,999 --> 00:02:27,632
Merry Christmas!
31
00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:29,298
What's that?
32
00:02:29,366 --> 00:02:31,465
It's a tree.
33
00:02:31,533 --> 00:02:33,932
You call that a tree?
34
00:02:33,999 --> 00:02:35,331
I bought it for you.
35
00:02:35,399 --> 00:02:36,965
You bought that?
36
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:39,331
Well, it fell off a truck.
37
00:02:39,399 --> 00:02:40,532
I'm touched.
38
00:02:40,599 --> 00:02:42,065
I knew you would be.
39
00:02:42,132 --> 00:02:44,665
Wow, I see you've gone all out
with the holiday trimmings.
40
00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:47,032
Looks very festive in here.
Very decorative.
41
00:02:47,099 --> 00:02:49,032
Thank you.
42
00:02:49,099 --> 00:02:51,265
I haven't exactly had
much time to do things.
43
00:02:51,332 --> 00:02:52,498
I see. You're in denial.
44
00:02:52,566 --> 00:02:53,864
It's understandable.
45
00:02:53,932 --> 00:02:55,064
How's that?
46
00:02:55,132 --> 00:02:57,731
Well, it's your first Christmas
alone, divorced,
47
00:02:57,799 --> 00:03:00,131
living on top
of a hotel,
48
00:03:00,199 --> 00:03:01,365
no social life.
49
00:03:01,433 --> 00:03:03,765
(inhales sharply)
Must be rough.
50
00:03:03,832 --> 00:03:06,232
Thank you very much for
reminding me of that, Chuck.
51
00:03:06,299 --> 00:03:07,998
Fortunately, I have a cure
52
00:03:08,066 --> 00:03:10,098
for your nagging
mid-winter blues.
53
00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:12,098
Oh, yeah? What's that?
54
00:03:12,166 --> 00:03:13,998
Ta-da.
55
00:03:16,332 --> 00:03:18,398
Lift tickets
to Wind Dance, buddy.
56
00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:20,398
You got ski tickets?
57
00:03:20,466 --> 00:03:22,398
You and me out
on the slopes
Christmas Eve,
58
00:03:22,466 --> 00:03:25,065
couple of babes
in stretch pants.
59
00:03:25,133 --> 00:03:27,098
I got my car back;
it's waiting down stairs.
60
00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:28,298
Let's go! Pack a bag!
61
00:03:28,366 --> 00:03:29,698
You got ski tickets?
62
00:03:29,766 --> 00:03:31,498
Yep.
63
00:03:31,565 --> 00:03:33,131
Gare?
64
00:03:33,199 --> 00:03:35,765
Gare?
65
00:03:35,832 --> 00:03:37,232
I can't go.
66
00:03:37,299 --> 00:03:38,732
Why not?
67
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:39,965
What do you mean, "Why not?"
68
00:03:40,033 --> 00:03:41,132
I can't go...
(cat meows)
69
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:42,432
(paper thuds against door)
70
00:03:47,133 --> 00:03:49,365
(cat meows)
71
00:03:49,433 --> 00:03:51,498
Come on, Gare,
one night out of town.
72
00:03:51,566 --> 00:03:52,731
What is the big deal?
73
00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:53,731
What's the big deal?
74
00:03:53,799 --> 00:03:54,965
You know what
the big is.
75
00:03:55,032 --> 00:03:56,764
I'm stuck with this...
(waitress clears throat)
76
00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:01,132
People need help
on the holidays.
77
00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,365
This holiday, I'm stuck
serving up the help.
78
00:04:03,433 --> 00:04:05,332
Not if you're not there
to do it, right?
79
00:04:05,399 --> 00:04:07,965
I had an uncle who killed
himself on Christmas.
80
00:04:08,032 --> 00:04:10,432
Really?
81
00:04:10,499 --> 00:04:12,531
Well, was he depressed?
82
00:04:12,599 --> 00:04:15,432
No. Just stuck his fork
in the toaster.
83
00:04:17,233 --> 00:04:18,998
(sighs)
84
00:04:19,066 --> 00:04:21,432
All I'm saying is, Gare, you
have the right enjoy yourself.
85
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:22,499
Everyone does.
86
00:04:22,565 --> 00:04:23,964
Uh-huh.
87
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:26,965
What are you doing tonight?
88
00:04:27,032 --> 00:04:30,132
Waiting for Santa.
89
00:04:30,199 --> 00:04:31,532
Santa?
90
00:04:31,599 --> 00:04:33,098
Yeah. Why?
91
00:04:33,165 --> 00:04:36,499
So you actually believe
in Santa Claus?
92
00:04:36,566 --> 00:04:38,698
In theory at least.
93
00:04:38,766 --> 00:04:40,964
In theory, you believe
that there's some
94
00:04:41,032 --> 00:04:42,398
fat guy in a red suit
95
00:04:42,466 --> 00:04:44,598
who flies around on a sled
and hangs out
96
00:04:44,666 --> 00:04:45,932
with a bunch of elves.
97
00:04:45,999 --> 00:04:46,931
Yeah, Mr. Grinch.
98
00:04:46,999 --> 00:04:48,232
And what do you believe in?
99
00:04:48,299 --> 00:04:50,232
Presents.
100
00:04:50,299 --> 00:04:51,564
I'll come back later.
101
00:04:51,632 --> 00:04:53,664
Thanks, Gidget.
102
00:04:53,732 --> 00:04:54,664
Listen, Gary,
103
00:04:54,732 --> 00:04:56,365
are you gonna go
with me or not?
104
00:04:56,432 --> 00:04:59,865
Come on. The world can take
of itself for a day.
105
00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:02,232
I don't think I'm gonna make it.
106
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:06,232
GARY:
An explosive device hidden
inside a child's toy teddy bear
107
00:05:06,299 --> 00:05:08,431
detonated today at Bicentennial
Skating Rink
108
00:05:08,499 --> 00:05:09,465
in downtown Chicago.
109
00:05:09,532 --> 00:05:11,265
(people shouting)
110
00:05:13,299 --> 00:05:14,898
Medic over here!
111
00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:16,398
Move it!
112
00:05:16,466 --> 00:05:18,131
The explosion, which occurred
at 10:45 in the morning,
113
00:05:18,199 --> 00:05:21,865
killed 20 holiday skaters
and injured 50 more.
114
00:05:21,932 --> 00:05:25,565
(garbled radio transmission)
115
00:05:25,633 --> 00:05:28,664
Police revealed that the bomber
left a note in the wreckage,
116
00:05:28,732 --> 00:05:32,232
but officials refused
to divulge the contents.
117
00:05:35,366 --> 00:05:38,764
Now he's gonna become
a murderer.
118
00:05:38,832 --> 00:05:40,499
I'm gonna need your help, Chuck.
119
00:05:40,567 --> 00:05:41,798
Fine. Fine.
120
00:05:41,865 --> 00:05:43,332
You save the world.
121
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:44,598
Me? I'm going skiing.
122
00:05:44,665 --> 00:05:45,898
And do what?
123
00:05:45,966 --> 00:05:47,398
Chase around a bunch of bunnies?
124
00:05:47,466 --> 00:05:49,131
You got it.
Uh-huh.
125
00:05:49,199 --> 00:05:50,631
Look, this is too big.
126
00:05:50,699 --> 00:05:51,965
I'm going to need
some help.
127
00:05:52,032 --> 00:05:53,232
I'm telling you...
128
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:56,265
Qualified help.
129
00:05:56,333 --> 00:05:58,732
Yeah? And where are you going
to get that?
130
00:05:58,799 --> 00:06:01,898
I almost hate to say it.
131
00:06:01,965 --> 00:06:03,931
Say it anyway.
132
00:06:03,999 --> 00:06:05,964
Well, sir...
No, no, I don't
want to hear it!
133
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,231
All I want to know
is who is this guy?!
134
00:06:08,299 --> 00:06:10,499
Three weeks on this case,
he's running us ragged.
135
00:06:10,567 --> 00:06:12,898
The mayor wants action.
136
00:06:12,966 --> 00:06:14,399
Teddy bears, my butt.
137
00:06:14,467 --> 00:06:15,797
Go on! Get out of here.
138
00:06:20,199 --> 00:06:21,398
Sir?
139
00:06:21,466 --> 00:06:23,299
What is it?
140
00:06:23,366 --> 00:06:25,665
The mayor's on the phone...
again.
141
00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:27,831
Tell him I'm dead!
142
00:06:27,899 --> 00:06:28,932
Yes, sir.
143
00:06:28,999 --> 00:06:30,765
And, um, there's someone
to see you.
144
00:06:30,832 --> 00:06:31,998
What kind of someone?
145
00:06:32,066 --> 00:06:34,831
He says he knows things
about the bomber.
146
00:06:34,899 --> 00:06:36,132
Oh, of course he does.
147
00:06:36,199 --> 00:06:38,198
Everybody knows things about
this bomber except me.
148
00:06:38,266 --> 00:06:39,365
Tell him to beat it.
149
00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:41,431
He also says
he knows you.
150
00:06:41,498 --> 00:06:42,732
Me? What's his name?
151
00:06:42,799 --> 00:06:45,065
Hobson.
152
00:06:45,133 --> 00:06:46,898
Remember me?
153
00:06:46,966 --> 00:06:49,532
Oh, no.
154
00:06:51,399 --> 00:06:54,798
Merry Christmas!
155
00:06:54,866 --> 00:06:56,632
Nice beard.
Polyester?
156
00:06:56,699 --> 00:06:57,898
Merry Christmas!
157
00:06:57,966 --> 00:07:00,365
Hey, Santa, get yourself
a real job, huh?
158
00:07:00,432 --> 00:07:02,765
Up yours,
Scrooge.
159
00:07:02,833 --> 00:07:05,965
Merry Christmas!
160
00:07:06,033 --> 00:07:07,732
Thank you
very much.
161
00:07:07,799 --> 00:07:09,032
(humming)
162
00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:12,699
Merry Christmas!
163
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,998
Merry Christmas!
164
00:07:15,066 --> 00:07:16,432
Excuse me.
165
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:18,099
Is this your vehicle?
166
00:07:18,166 --> 00:07:19,631
Yes, it is.
167
00:07:20,865 --> 00:07:21,898
Nice.
168
00:07:21,965 --> 00:07:23,798
Thank you. I'm going skiing.
169
00:07:23,865 --> 00:07:25,165
I don't think so.
170
00:07:25,233 --> 00:07:26,231
Excuse me?
171
00:07:26,299 --> 00:07:27,998
You're coming downtown with us.
172
00:07:29,266 --> 00:07:30,632
Scofflaw violation.
173
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,831
We're impounding your car.
174
00:07:31,899 --> 00:07:34,831
(horn beeping)
175
00:07:36,066 --> 00:07:38,031
(tires screech lightly)
176
00:07:39,099 --> 00:07:42,064
A bomb? In the skating rink?
177
00:07:42,132 --> 00:07:43,431
Yes, sir.
178
00:07:43,499 --> 00:07:44,465
This morning?
179
00:07:44,533 --> 00:07:46,032
That's right. 10:45.
180
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:47,132
But it hasn't happened yet?
181
00:07:47,199 --> 00:07:48,165
No.
182
00:07:48,233 --> 00:07:49,532
But it's going to, you're sure?
183
00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:50,831
Yes.
184
00:07:50,899 --> 00:07:52,231
And you know this because...?
185
00:07:52,299 --> 00:07:54,465
Well, I'd rather not say.
186
00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:55,798
Rather not say,
because if you did,
187
00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:58,065
You wouldn't believe me.
I wouldn't believe you.
188
00:07:58,133 --> 00:07:59,697
Who put you up to this anyway?
189
00:07:59,765 --> 00:08:00,897
What?
190
00:08:00,965 --> 00:08:03,131
Is this some guy with a sick
sense of humor,
191
00:08:03,199 --> 00:08:04,298
some, some comedy guy?
192
00:08:04,366 --> 00:08:06,298
No. Look, I'm telling you
the truth here.
193
00:08:06,366 --> 00:08:07,564
Oh, sure you are.
194
00:08:07,632 --> 00:08:10,098
Like all the other 87 hot tips
we got today, huh?
195
00:08:10,166 --> 00:08:12,199
No. Look, this one is real.
196
00:08:12,266 --> 00:08:13,265
People are gonna die.
197
00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:15,065
I'm just trying
to help you here.
198
00:08:15,133 --> 00:08:17,231
Of course you are.
This is flat.
199
00:08:17,299 --> 00:08:18,398
Look, do me a favor.
200
00:08:18,466 --> 00:08:20,798
Go help somebody else, huh?
201
00:08:20,866 --> 00:08:22,264
Get him out of here.
202
00:08:22,332 --> 00:08:24,765
Look, this is gonna happen.
Today, Crumb.
203
00:08:24,833 --> 00:08:27,265
He's gonna
leave a note.
204
00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:29,465
Did you say a note?
205
00:08:29,533 --> 00:08:31,731
Okay, talk.
206
00:08:31,799 --> 00:08:33,298
About what?
207
00:08:33,366 --> 00:08:34,498
About the note.
208
00:08:34,565 --> 00:08:35,665
Where is it?
209
00:08:35,733 --> 00:08:37,132
What's it like?
Wh-What's it say?
210
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,465
Look, I don't know.
211
00:08:38,533 --> 00:08:41,065
All I know is that
it's found in the wreckage.
212
00:08:41,132 --> 00:08:42,898
Oh, like these were?
213
00:08:46,099 --> 00:08:47,598
No one, not even
214
00:08:47,665 --> 00:08:48,898
the press knew about these.
215
00:08:48,965 --> 00:08:49,931
We're keeping it a secret.
Now, who told you?
216
00:08:55,766 --> 00:08:57,265
I can't tell you.
217
00:08:57,333 --> 00:08:59,765
Eight of these in three weeks,
all addressed to me.
218
00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:02,298
"Ha-ha-ha.
Fooled you."
219
00:09:02,366 --> 00:09:03,798
This guy's giving me headache.
220
00:09:03,866 --> 00:09:05,298
Look, I'm sorry about that,
but what do you want me to do?
221
00:09:05,366 --> 00:09:06,964
You're sorry? What about me?
222
00:09:07,032 --> 00:09:08,498
This is Christmas Eve.
223
00:09:08,565 --> 00:09:10,065
I should be home with my kids.
224
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,631
Instead, I'm sitting around
with some guy who thinks
225
00:09:11,699 --> 00:09:12,697
he's The Amazing Kreskin.
226
00:09:12,765 --> 00:09:13,964
And what's worse,
227
00:09:14,032 --> 00:09:15,932
I'm even starting
to believe him.
228
00:09:15,999 --> 00:09:16,998
Now, is that nuts?
229
00:09:17,066 --> 00:09:18,965
Don't answer that.
230
00:09:22,698 --> 00:09:25,165
The Bicentennial Skating Rink
in less than an hour?
231
00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:27,299
Yeah.
232
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,831
No. We're staying here.
233
00:09:30,899 --> 00:09:33,398
Sir, mayor's calling again.
234
00:09:37,632 --> 00:09:40,465
I want bomb squad and S.W.A.T.
and lots of communication.
235
00:09:40,532 --> 00:09:43,531
And warn the locals that we're
coming it in, but keep it quiet.
236
00:09:43,598 --> 00:09:44,998
I don't want to cause a panic.
237
00:09:45,066 --> 00:09:46,132
Excuse me.
238
00:09:46,199 --> 00:09:47,564
Shouldn't you evacuate
the rink over there?
239
00:09:47,632 --> 00:09:49,597
On what grounds?
A little birdie told me?
240
00:09:49,665 --> 00:09:50,764
A little birdie?
241
00:09:50,832 --> 00:09:52,531
Look, people get cranky
242
00:09:52,599 --> 00:09:54,865
when you shut down
their business on a hunch.
243
00:09:54,932 --> 00:09:58,765
Show me a bomb,
and then we'll talk.
244
00:09:58,833 --> 00:10:00,298
Me?
245
00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:01,732
I don't know where the bomb is.
246
00:10:01,799 --> 00:10:03,432
I don't know exactly where
it is, but...
247
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,798
Fine. Come on along for the
ride. We'll have a lot of fun.
248
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:06,698
Oh, no, no, no.
249
00:10:06,766 --> 00:10:07,599
Listen, Charlie...
250
00:10:07,666 --> 00:10:08,964
Gary. It's Gary.
251
00:10:09,032 --> 00:10:10,131
Whomever.
252
00:10:10,199 --> 00:10:11,998
You're not walking
until I find this S.O.B.
253
00:10:12,066 --> 00:10:13,064
You want to guess why?
254
00:10:16,233 --> 00:10:18,198
Because it might be me.
255
00:10:18,265 --> 00:10:19,332
Bingo. It might be you.
256
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,398
Get in the car.
257
00:10:31,399 --> 00:10:34,331
(indistinct police radio
communication)
258
00:10:36,166 --> 00:10:38,098
Shouldn't you be solving murders
259
00:10:38,166 --> 00:10:39,566
or prosecuting drug dealers
or something?
260
00:10:39,633 --> 00:10:40,666
This way.
261
00:10:40,732 --> 00:10:42,465
This is ridiculous.
262
00:10:42,533 --> 00:10:43,599
Who's this?
263
00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:45,098
Fishman,
Charles.
264
00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:49,164
Chuck, as my good friend the
congressman calls me.
265
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:50,599
Which congressman?
266
00:10:50,666 --> 00:10:53,432
All of them.
267
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:56,797
Look, Sergeant,
there's obviously been
some sort of mistake here.
268
00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,931
These Nazis took my car.
269
00:10:58,999 --> 00:11:00,432
Now, I am willing
to overlook this...
270
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:01,731
What's he in for?
271
00:11:01,799 --> 00:11:02,765
Parking tickets.
(chuckles)
272
00:11:02,833 --> 00:11:04,532
See what I mean?
Parking tickets.
273
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:05,665
How many?
274
00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:07,265
106.
(whistles)
275
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,098
Okay, so I park a lot.
276
00:11:09,166 --> 00:11:10,298
It's a big city.
277
00:11:10,366 --> 00:11:11,665
It happens.
278
00:11:11,733 --> 00:11:14,498
You know, mail, schedules--
279
00:11:14,566 --> 00:11:16,732
I've been so busy lately,
280
00:11:16,799 --> 00:11:17,931
as I'm sure you have.
281
00:11:17,999 --> 00:11:19,965
To tell you the truth...
282
00:11:21,266 --> 00:11:23,765
...I thought I already paid.
283
00:11:23,832 --> 00:11:25,598
So just what tell
me what the fine is,
284
00:11:25,666 --> 00:11:27,265
I'll pay it,
and I'll be gone.
285
00:11:27,333 --> 00:11:28,432
Too late for that.
286
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:30,298
Okay, then bail.
287
00:11:30,366 --> 00:11:32,132
How much is bail?
A couple of hundred?
288
00:11:32,199 --> 00:11:33,432
A grand?
289
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,232
I'll write you a
check right now, okay?
290
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:37,732
And then next week, after
I'm off the slopes...
291
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,098
That's up to the judge.
292
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,998
Judge?
293
00:11:41,066 --> 00:11:42,566
Where?
294
00:11:42,633 --> 00:11:44,898
Court convenes early
Thursday morning.
295
00:11:44,966 --> 00:11:48,131
That's the day
after tomorrow.
296
00:11:48,199 --> 00:11:50,564
What is this,
some sort of joke?
297
00:11:50,632 --> 00:11:53,697
A little Yuletide humor?
298
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,598
Think of it as your
personal manger.
299
00:11:59,666 --> 00:12:00,998
You can't do this.
300
00:12:01,066 --> 00:12:02,898
This isn't Bolivia!
301
00:12:02,965 --> 00:12:04,931
I'll call Johnny Cochran!
302
00:12:04,999 --> 00:12:06,764
Oh, great.
303
00:12:06,832 --> 00:12:08,764
This is just perfect.
304
00:12:08,832 --> 00:12:10,864
MAN:
Think you got
problems?
305
00:12:10,932 --> 00:12:12,931
I'm late for work.
306
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,564
Yeah?
307
00:12:14,632 --> 00:12:15,798
And who are you?
308
00:12:17,066 --> 00:12:19,332
Santa Claus.
309
00:12:27,299 --> 00:12:28,699
(children singing "We Wish You
A Merry Christmas")
310
00:12:28,766 --> 00:12:31,298
Okay, this is it.
How much time we got?
15 minutes. Maybe less.
311
00:12:31,366 --> 00:12:33,265
Are you sure you don't want
to change your story?
312
00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:34,665
No, this is going
to happen. Trust me.
313
00:12:34,733 --> 00:12:36,265
Yeah, I was afraid of that.
314
00:12:36,333 --> 00:12:38,032
Look, Crumb, can't we get
these people out of here
315
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,365
just to be on
the safe side?
316
00:12:39,433 --> 00:12:40,765
You like skating?
Huh?
317
00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:41,832
They like skating.
318
00:12:41,899 --> 00:12:43,265
They came here to skate.
319
00:12:43,333 --> 00:12:45,099
Let's take a look
around first, okay?
320
00:12:45,166 --> 00:12:47,332
Yeah, well, you
better look fast.
321
00:12:50,333 --> 00:12:51,665
Oh, boy.
322
00:12:52,666 --> 00:12:53,897
Oh, boy.
323
00:12:53,965 --> 00:12:55,264
Hey, Aunt Marge?
324
00:12:55,332 --> 00:12:56,898
It's me, Chuck Fishman.
325
00:12:56,966 --> 00:12:58,598
How are you?
326
00:12:58,665 --> 00:13:01,231
Your nephew, remember?
327
00:13:01,299 --> 00:13:02,532
Yeah.
328
00:13:02,599 --> 00:13:05,065
Hey, merry Christmas.
329
00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:07,165
Yeah, that's right,
the scrawny one.
330
00:13:07,232 --> 00:13:09,164
Listen, Aunt Marge,
um, I'm in a bit
331
00:13:09,232 --> 00:13:11,132
of a spot here,
and...
332
00:13:11,199 --> 00:13:13,065
No, no, no.
I'm not coming to visit.
333
00:13:13,133 --> 00:13:14,298
Uh-huh.
I'm in jail,
334
00:13:14,366 --> 00:13:15,765
and I've called
everyone
335
00:13:15,832 --> 00:13:17,165
I know and...
336
00:13:17,233 --> 00:13:18,965
(dial tone)
Hello?
337
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,931
Marge?
338
00:13:20,999 --> 00:13:24,531
Cut off?
339
00:13:24,598 --> 00:13:26,365
Hung up.
340
00:13:26,433 --> 00:13:27,965
She's like that.
341
00:13:28,033 --> 00:13:28,965
Who?
342
00:13:29,033 --> 00:13:30,198
Marge.
343
00:13:30,266 --> 00:13:33,265
You know my aunt?
344
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:34,865
Oh, I know everyone.
345
00:13:34,932 --> 00:13:36,365
Been to the house.
346
00:13:36,432 --> 00:13:38,798
Oh, that's right,
because you're, uh...
347
00:13:38,865 --> 00:13:40,531
Uh-huh.
348
00:13:40,599 --> 00:13:44,998
Hey, can someone get in here?!
349
00:13:45,066 --> 00:13:46,365
I'd like to make a complaint!
350
00:13:46,433 --> 00:13:47,831
Sergeant?
351
00:13:47,899 --> 00:13:48,932
His name's Eddie.
352
00:13:48,999 --> 00:13:50,132
Used to call him "Stinker"
353
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,931
when he was eight--
don't bring it up.
354
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:54,032
He's sensitive.
355
00:13:54,099 --> 00:13:56,398
Hello?!
356
00:13:56,466 --> 00:13:58,232
Problem here?
357
00:13:58,299 --> 00:13:59,532
Yeah, I got a problem.
358
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,165
When do I get out of rattrap?
359
00:14:01,232 --> 00:14:02,565
Once we run through
your files.
360
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:03,699
The computer's
down right now.
361
00:14:03,767 --> 00:14:04,998
Well, get it back up.
362
00:14:05,066 --> 00:14:07,499
Have a little patience.
It's Christmas Eve.
363
00:14:07,567 --> 00:14:08,798
Give me that
cellular phone.
364
00:14:08,865 --> 00:14:09,898
This is a jail.
365
00:14:09,966 --> 00:14:11,198
Hey, hey, hey.
366
00:14:14,066 --> 00:14:16,099
(whispering):
What's with this guy?
367
00:14:16,166 --> 00:14:17,898
Breaking and entering.
368
00:14:17,965 --> 00:14:19,465
We picked him up
on a rooftop
369
00:14:19,532 --> 00:14:20,731
trying to sneak down
a chimney.
370
00:14:20,799 --> 00:14:22,365
Meant to clean
the whole place out.
371
00:14:22,433 --> 00:14:25,332
It's not how it looked.
372
00:14:25,399 --> 00:14:28,265
Look, I don't want
to seem pushy,
373
00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:30,231
but I need to be going.
374
00:14:30,299 --> 00:14:33,898
See, my sleigh's due pick me up
in a half hour in the park.
375
00:14:33,966 --> 00:14:35,865
And then where, the North Pole?
376
00:14:35,933 --> 00:14:37,432
Oh, Thailand.
377
00:14:37,499 --> 00:14:38,698
You know how it is.
378
00:14:38,766 --> 00:14:40,365
Once you behind on a gig
like this...
379
00:14:40,433 --> 00:14:42,031
Fruitcake.
380
00:14:42,099 --> 00:14:45,064
Well, a lot of kids are going
to be disappointed.
381
00:14:45,132 --> 00:14:47,831
You really believe this,
don't you?
382
00:14:49,399 --> 00:14:51,299
Well, don't you?
383
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,431
I think you're
out of your mind.
384
00:14:58,532 --> 00:15:00,932
Then you're going to get
a lump of coal.
385
00:15:00,999 --> 00:15:04,898
♪ Jingle, jingle, jingle,
jingle, jingle, jingle... ♪
386
00:15:04,966 --> 00:15:06,831
♪ Just hear those sleigh bells
jingling ♪
387
00:15:06,899 --> 00:15:08,064
♪ Ring-ting-tingling... ♪
388
00:15:08,132 --> 00:15:09,664
Anything yet?
389
00:15:09,732 --> 00:15:10,664
No sign of it anywhere.
390
00:15:10,732 --> 00:15:11,831
Did you check
the lockers?
391
00:15:11,899 --> 00:15:14,064
Doing it now.
392
00:15:14,132 --> 00:15:15,498
Well?
393
00:15:15,565 --> 00:15:16,931
We just got to keep looking.
394
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:18,098
It's got to be somewhere.
395
00:15:18,166 --> 00:15:19,365
Of course it is.
396
00:15:19,433 --> 00:15:20,498
Unless, of course,
it ain't.
397
00:15:20,566 --> 00:15:23,332
What does that mean?
398
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,131
Meaning maybe it's here,
maybe it's not.
399
00:15:25,199 --> 00:15:26,565
Maybe it's on the moon.
400
00:15:26,633 --> 00:15:27,798
Maybe you're the bomber.
401
00:15:27,866 --> 00:15:28,964
Or maybe I'm just
out of my mind.
402
00:15:29,032 --> 00:15:30,065
Well, that's a
good possibility.
403
00:15:30,133 --> 00:15:32,132
Let me tell...
Nothing.
404
00:15:32,199 --> 00:15:34,132
All right, we're
out of here.
405
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,465
You have some
explaining to do.
406
00:15:36,533 --> 00:15:38,165
What are you talking about?
You can't leave.
407
00:15:38,232 --> 00:15:39,198
Try me.
408
00:15:39,266 --> 00:15:40,565
Look, people are going
to die, Crumb.
409
00:15:40,632 --> 00:15:42,098
Yeah, me from frostbite
if I don't out of...
410
00:15:42,166 --> 00:15:44,631
What are you...?
Crumb, the bear.
411
00:15:44,699 --> 00:15:47,132
(laughs)
412
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:48,232
My God.
413
00:15:48,299 --> 00:15:50,232
Don't touch it--
it's a bomb.
414
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:51,831
Did I say that?
Everybody get off the ice!
415
00:15:51,898 --> 00:15:53,465
Get off the ice.
416
00:15:53,532 --> 00:15:54,998
Don't panic!
417
00:15:55,066 --> 00:15:56,798
Get off the ice.
418
00:15:56,866 --> 00:15:58,064
Everybody off the ice!
419
00:15:58,132 --> 00:16:00,098
Hey, little girl.
420
00:16:00,166 --> 00:16:02,332
Come on, let me see
your bear, huh? Huh?
421
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:03,664
That's it.
422
00:16:03,732 --> 00:16:05,698
Get off the ice!
423
00:16:05,766 --> 00:16:08,699
♪ We'll be singing songs
we love to sing ♪
424
00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:10,732
♪ Without a single stop ♪
425
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:14,199
♪ At the fireplace while we
watch the chestnuts pop ♪
426
00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:16,332
Pop! Pop! Pop!
427
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,831
♪ There's a happy feeling ♪
428
00:16:17,899 --> 00:16:20,432
♪ Nothing in the world
can buy ♪
429
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:22,332
♪ When they pass around
the coffee ♪
430
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,198
♪ And the pumpkin pie ♪
431
00:16:24,266 --> 00:16:26,699
♪ It'll nearly be like
a picture print ♪
432
00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:29,064
♪ By Currier and Ives ♪
433
00:16:29,132 --> 00:16:30,532
♪ All these wonderful things ♪
434
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:33,298
♪ Are the things we remember
all through our lives ♪
435
00:16:33,366 --> 00:16:35,031
♪ Just hear those sleigh bells
jingling ♪
436
00:16:35,099 --> 00:16:37,231
♪ Ring-ting-tingling too ♪
437
00:16:37,299 --> 00:16:39,531
♪ Come on, it's lovely weather ♪
438
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,998
♪ For a sleigh ride together
with you ♪
What's going on here?
439
00:16:42,065 --> 00:16:43,864
(siren wailing)
It's gone.
440
00:16:43,932 --> 00:16:46,466
It's...
441
00:16:46,533 --> 00:16:47,631
♪ Come on, it's lovely weather ♪
442
00:16:47,699 --> 00:16:48,898
♪ For a sleigh ride
together... ♪
443
00:16:48,965 --> 00:16:50,764
(whistling)
444
00:16:50,832 --> 00:16:52,998
(jingle bells jingling
with steps)
445
00:17:00,165 --> 00:17:02,131
Do you mind?
446
00:17:02,199 --> 00:17:03,898
The whistling?
447
00:17:03,966 --> 00:17:04,932
Sorry.
448
00:17:04,999 --> 00:17:07,098
I'm concentrating.
449
00:17:07,166 --> 00:17:08,731
On what?
450
00:17:08,799 --> 00:17:09,932
The list.
451
00:17:09,999 --> 00:17:12,365
Checking it the
second time.
452
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:14,632
I don't see any list.
453
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:15,965
Oh, it's in my head.
454
00:17:16,033 --> 00:17:17,365
It would take forever
455
00:17:17,433 --> 00:17:18,865
to put something like that
down on paper.
456
00:17:18,933 --> 00:17:20,465
It's easier this way.
457
00:17:20,533 --> 00:17:24,099
It's kind of like that, uh,
movie Rain Man.
458
00:17:25,533 --> 00:17:27,598
Well, go ahead, you know,
quiz me.
459
00:17:27,665 --> 00:17:29,098
I don't have time
for your stupid games.
460
00:17:29,166 --> 00:17:30,098
Of course you do.
461
00:17:30,166 --> 00:17:32,632
You're in prison.
462
00:17:32,699 --> 00:17:34,332
Go ahead, any name.
463
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,465
Try it.
464
00:17:35,533 --> 00:17:38,432
Martin Garolowitz.
465
00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:40,131
Naughty.
466
00:17:40,199 --> 00:17:41,198
What?
467
00:17:41,265 --> 00:17:43,432
Four years in a row.
468
00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:45,398
Next?
469
00:17:47,765 --> 00:17:49,931
Igor Strasofsky.
470
00:17:49,999 --> 00:17:51,465
Which one?
471
00:17:51,533 --> 00:17:53,697
The one in Budapest.
472
00:17:53,765 --> 00:17:54,731
Father or son?
473
00:17:54,799 --> 00:17:55,732
Son.
474
00:17:55,799 --> 00:17:56,765
Nice.
475
00:17:56,833 --> 00:17:58,198
See? It's really not that hard.
476
00:17:58,266 --> 00:17:59,898
See, I scramble
the letters,
477
00:17:59,966 --> 00:18:03,765
then alphabetize them
into a code.
478
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,931
And, uh, how do you get there?
479
00:18:06,999 --> 00:18:08,098
Where?
480
00:18:08,166 --> 00:18:10,764
Two billion homes in one night.
481
00:18:10,832 --> 00:18:12,765
Well, uh, yeah, well...
482
00:18:12,833 --> 00:18:16,232
i-it's really not that hard
if you work the time zones.
483
00:18:16,299 --> 00:18:20,765
See, it's tomorrow in Asia
when it's yesterday here.
484
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,698
Of course, you have
to wear a of watches
485
00:18:22,766 --> 00:18:24,632
to keep it all straight, but you
kind of get used to that.
486
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:27,998
And also, of course,
487
00:18:28,066 --> 00:18:31,832
those reindeer go
like bats out of hell.
488
00:18:31,899 --> 00:18:34,298
(whooshing)
489
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,765
Help!
490
00:18:39,833 --> 00:18:43,332
"Dear Detective Crumb,
watch out for thin ice."
491
00:18:43,399 --> 00:18:45,065
What is this,
some kind of a joke?
492
00:18:45,133 --> 00:18:46,831
I think
it's a pun.
493
00:18:46,899 --> 00:18:48,399
You think it's a pun?
494
00:18:48,465 --> 00:18:50,564
You know, ice?
495
00:18:50,632 --> 00:18:51,764
Thin ice.
496
00:18:51,832 --> 00:18:53,165
Get out of here.
497
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:55,198
You know what I think?
I this is getting personal.
498
00:18:55,266 --> 00:18:56,265
Look, something's
wrong.
499
00:18:56,333 --> 00:18:57,531
It was supposed
to explode.
500
00:18:57,598 --> 00:18:59,265
This?
The bomb-- it was
supposed to explode.
501
00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:00,497
But there's no bomb.
502
00:19:00,565 --> 00:19:01,865
Very astute observation.
503
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:03,131
Look, this guy...
he's following us.
504
00:19:03,199 --> 00:19:04,498
Whoever he is, he knows
where we're going.
505
00:19:04,565 --> 00:19:05,798
He's... what
are you doing?
506
00:19:05,866 --> 00:19:07,064
Looks like snow,
Huh?
507
00:19:07,132 --> 00:19:09,198
You got any feeling about
that one way or the other?
508
00:19:09,265 --> 00:19:10,498
About what?
509
00:19:10,565 --> 00:19:11,565
'Cause if you did,
510
00:19:11,633 --> 00:19:12,865
you could be a weatherman
511
00:19:12,932 --> 00:19:14,698
instead of, you know,
a deputy sheriff.
512
00:19:14,765 --> 00:19:16,898
You still don't
believe me, do you?
Look...
513
00:19:16,966 --> 00:19:17,998
I'm letting you go.
514
00:19:18,065 --> 00:19:19,598
Not that I still
have my suspicions,
515
00:19:19,665 --> 00:19:21,465
It's just that--
you're making me crazy
516
00:19:21,532 --> 00:19:23,764
with this should be,
supposed to be.
517
00:19:23,832 --> 00:19:26,065
I mean, what are you, one of
those, uh, Magic 8-Balls?
518
00:19:26,133 --> 00:19:28,365
Look, Crumb, all I'm trying
do is help you out here.
519
00:19:28,433 --> 00:19:31,431
Do me a favor. Don't.
520
00:19:32,533 --> 00:19:34,965
All right, I won't.
521
00:19:35,033 --> 00:19:37,065
Merry Christmas!
522
00:19:37,133 --> 00:19:39,098
(softly):
You old goat.
523
00:19:46,299 --> 00:19:47,565
Oh, no.
524
00:19:49,232 --> 00:19:50,798
Good-bye, stretch pants.
525
00:19:50,866 --> 00:19:53,132
Good-bye, fireplace.
526
00:19:53,199 --> 00:19:55,265
Good-bye, weekend in heaven.
527
00:19:55,332 --> 00:19:57,432
You're pretty broken up
about this, aren't you?
528
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,731
Wouldn't you be?
529
00:19:59,798 --> 00:20:02,265
My car's in hock,
my life is a mess,
530
00:20:02,333 --> 00:20:04,697
and I'm stuck here in jail
with a raving lunatic
531
00:20:04,765 --> 00:20:06,432
on Christmas Eve!
532
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:09,032
Things just never work out
for you, do they?
533
00:20:09,099 --> 00:20:12,564
Who asked you?
534
00:20:12,632 --> 00:20:16,198
The problem is,
you don't believe.
535
00:20:16,265 --> 00:20:19,431
Could you just shut up?
536
00:20:19,499 --> 00:20:22,232
It's too bad.
537
00:20:22,299 --> 00:20:26,132
You started out as a
good kid as I remember.
538
00:20:26,199 --> 00:20:28,165
Of course, it's
some time ago,
539
00:20:28,233 --> 00:20:30,697
and there was that
540
00:20:30,765 --> 00:20:34,632
Christmas when
you were nine.
541
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:36,198
Wrong.
542
00:20:36,266 --> 00:20:37,198
I was eight.
543
00:20:37,266 --> 00:20:38,699
Shows you how much you know.
544
00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:40,431
No, you... you were nine.
I'm sure of it.
545
00:20:40,499 --> 00:20:41,532
Eight.
Nine.
546
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,231
Eight.
Are you absolutely positive?
547
00:20:43,299 --> 00:20:45,864
I was eight when
I asked for the sled.
548
00:20:45,932 --> 00:20:48,098
Fine. Then were you eight.
549
00:20:48,166 --> 00:20:50,065
Oh, yeah, that sled.
550
00:20:50,132 --> 00:20:51,665
What kind was it again?
551
00:20:53,865 --> 00:20:55,198
L.L. Bean.
552
00:20:55,266 --> 00:20:58,265
No. Flexible Flyer.
553
00:20:58,333 --> 00:21:00,365
Uh, the one with the...
554
00:21:00,433 --> 00:21:02,432
Fins on the back.
555
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:05,798
No. You're making that up.
556
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:10,831
You're, uh, you're pretty good
at this, aren't you?
557
00:21:10,899 --> 00:21:13,198
Oh, I try to be.
558
00:21:13,266 --> 00:21:15,898
But you didn't get it, did you?
559
00:21:15,965 --> 00:21:17,764
That sled?
560
00:21:17,832 --> 00:21:19,465
Went to someone else.
561
00:21:19,533 --> 00:21:21,298
Inky Bowers.
562
00:21:21,366 --> 00:21:23,531
Inky Bowers.
563
00:21:23,599 --> 00:21:25,798
I never liked that kid.
564
00:21:25,866 --> 00:21:28,798
You always wondered
why it went to him.
565
00:21:28,866 --> 00:21:31,965
Because you didn't believe.
566
00:21:32,033 --> 00:21:35,098
See, there's a price you
have to pay for that--
567
00:21:35,165 --> 00:21:36,798
not believing.
568
00:21:36,865 --> 00:21:37,898
It's a big one.
569
00:21:37,966 --> 00:21:39,465
Okay, that's enough.
570
00:21:39,532 --> 00:21:40,998
Let's just stop right there.
571
00:21:41,065 --> 00:21:42,165
You're not Santa Claus.
572
00:21:42,233 --> 00:21:43,731
I'm not a dope,
573
00:21:43,799 --> 00:21:44,865
and I want out now.
574
00:21:44,933 --> 00:21:45,898
Hello!
575
00:21:45,966 --> 00:21:48,231
Sergeant--
whatever your name is,
576
00:21:48,299 --> 00:21:49,631
I demand to be moved.
577
00:21:49,699 --> 00:21:51,332
I have my rights, you know.
578
00:21:51,399 --> 00:21:54,165
I want a new cell.
579
00:21:54,233 --> 00:21:55,831
Hello?
(bells jingling)
580
00:21:55,899 --> 00:21:57,565
(groans)
581
00:21:59,533 --> 00:22:01,764
Oh, my God.
582
00:22:02,966 --> 00:22:04,431
CHUCK:
Is he sick?
583
00:22:04,499 --> 00:22:07,865
Hard to tell.
584
00:22:07,932 --> 00:22:09,998
My guess is
he's faking.
585
00:22:10,066 --> 00:22:13,132
But... I'll call a medic.
586
00:22:13,199 --> 00:22:14,664
Whoa, whoa,
wait a minute.
587
00:22:14,732 --> 00:22:16,998
You're not gonna leave me
here alone with him, are you?
588
00:22:17,065 --> 00:22:19,098
I mean, what if he spasms
or something?
589
00:22:19,166 --> 00:22:21,198
I'm really not very good
with death.
(scoffs)
590
00:22:21,266 --> 00:22:23,897
Oh, no, I'm serious.
591
00:22:23,965 --> 00:22:25,998
Hey, buddy!
592
00:22:26,065 --> 00:22:30,398
Oh, man, this has been
some day.
593
00:22:30,466 --> 00:22:33,466
(whistles)
594
00:22:33,533 --> 00:22:35,332
(sputtering)
595
00:22:37,333 --> 00:22:40,932
Need to get to the sleigh.
596
00:22:40,999 --> 00:22:43,432
What?
597
00:22:43,499 --> 00:22:46,698
Waiting there, Lincoln Park.
598
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:48,565
Got to get there.
599
00:22:48,632 --> 00:22:51,098
Otherwise, no good.
600
00:22:51,165 --> 00:22:52,465
Oh, man, come on.
What-- what is this?
601
00:22:52,533 --> 00:22:54,332
(choking, gurgling)
602
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:56,565
Okay, nice try.
I know what you're trying to do.
603
00:22:56,632 --> 00:22:58,498
You're trying to make me
help you
604
00:22:58,566 --> 00:22:59,998
get out of here, is that it?
605
00:23:00,065 --> 00:23:02,697
Gonna start coughing up blood!
606
00:23:02,765 --> 00:23:04,299
Oh, no, don't do that.
607
00:23:04,366 --> 00:23:06,199
K-Kids depending on me!
608
00:23:06,266 --> 00:23:08,998
Need your help!
609
00:23:09,066 --> 00:23:11,564
No! No need my help! No!
610
00:23:11,632 --> 00:23:13,164
(gurgling)
611
00:23:13,232 --> 00:23:15,131
Okay, okay, fine! Fine!
612
00:23:15,199 --> 00:23:16,232
How?
613
00:23:23,366 --> 00:23:24,598
Where is he?
614
00:23:24,666 --> 00:23:25,898
Cell number 38.
615
00:23:25,966 --> 00:23:27,032
What's wrong with him?
616
00:23:27,099 --> 00:23:30,232
You're the paramedic.
You tell me.
617
00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:31,998
My keys!
618
00:23:32,066 --> 00:23:34,897
(groans)
619
00:23:38,732 --> 00:23:39,731
CRUMB:
Anything else you want
to tell me about?
620
00:23:39,798 --> 00:23:40,898
Like giant spiders
or flying saucers
621
00:23:40,965 --> 00:23:42,531
No, just a bomb
in a teddy bear.
622
00:23:42,598 --> 00:23:44,564
Thanks. I feel
much better.
What do we got?
623
00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:46,465
We cleared the building,
plus we got fire trucks
out in front.
624
00:23:46,532 --> 00:23:48,098
Anything else?
625
00:23:48,166 --> 00:23:50,697
Yeah, my, uh, Christmas
tree lights at home
ain't working.
626
00:23:50,765 --> 00:23:52,165
Get me some.
627
00:23:52,233 --> 00:23:53,764
The big, fat kind, not
the little, skinny ones.
628
00:23:53,832 --> 00:23:55,332
(chuckles)
Yes, sir.
629
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:56,631
So this is where
the little birdie told you
630
00:23:56,698 --> 00:23:57,631
the bomber's gonna be?
631
00:23:57,699 --> 00:23:59,831
Yep.
632
00:24:06,466 --> 00:24:08,932
Excuse me, are you the detective
in charge here?
633
00:24:08,999 --> 00:24:09,932
That's me.
634
00:24:09,999 --> 00:24:11,765
Do you realize
what you're doing?
635
00:24:11,833 --> 00:24:14,765
You've shut down this store
on the busiest day of the year!
636
00:24:14,832 --> 00:24:15,831
So?
637
00:24:15,899 --> 00:24:18,031
So, the owner is
very close
638
00:24:18,099 --> 00:24:19,532
to the mayor.
639
00:24:19,599 --> 00:24:21,798
This time you're sure?
640
00:24:21,866 --> 00:24:22,998
Yeah.
641
00:24:23,066 --> 00:24:24,565
No chance
you're mistaken?
642
00:24:24,633 --> 00:24:25,931
No.
643
00:24:25,999 --> 00:24:28,498
Oh, be sure to
get red ones.
644
00:24:28,566 --> 00:24:30,065
And nothing
that twinkles.
645
00:24:30,133 --> 00:24:31,365
All right, come on, boys.
646
00:24:31,433 --> 00:24:32,631
Tear 'em open.
647
00:24:32,699 --> 00:24:33,898
I don't believe this.
648
00:24:33,966 --> 00:24:35,265
What have we done?
649
00:24:35,332 --> 00:24:36,798
We just broke
out of jail.
650
00:24:36,866 --> 00:24:38,365
I just broke
out of jail.
651
00:24:38,432 --> 00:24:40,098
Me, Chuck Fishman.
652
00:24:40,166 --> 00:24:42,665
I've busted stir.
I'm a felon!
653
00:24:42,733 --> 00:24:44,565
Relax.
654
00:24:44,633 --> 00:24:46,398
You just did
something nice.
655
00:24:46,466 --> 00:24:47,398
I did?
656
00:24:47,466 --> 00:24:48,765
You got a buck?
657
00:24:48,832 --> 00:24:50,265
No, I don't
have a buck.
658
00:24:50,332 --> 00:24:51,265
They took my wallet.
659
00:24:51,332 --> 00:24:53,665
Oh, my God.
They know who I am!
660
00:24:53,733 --> 00:24:55,665
What about your pocket?
Maybe you got a quarter.
661
00:24:55,733 --> 00:24:57,965
(bell jingling)
662
00:24:58,032 --> 00:24:59,498
Ah, good.
663
00:25:01,332 --> 00:25:03,032
Keep up the good work.
664
00:25:03,099 --> 00:25:04,299
Oh, great!
You know what?
665
00:25:04,366 --> 00:25:05,365
This is insane!
666
00:25:05,433 --> 00:25:06,665
I mean, look at you.
667
00:25:06,733 --> 00:25:08,065
You don't even
look like the guy.
668
00:25:08,133 --> 00:25:09,398
Where's you beard?
669
00:25:09,466 --> 00:25:11,432
You're a fake just like
all the rest of them.
670
00:25:11,499 --> 00:25:12,799
(groans)
671
00:25:12,866 --> 00:25:14,365
What? What's wrong?
What's wrong?
672
00:25:14,433 --> 00:25:16,199
You're not believing
again!
673
00:25:16,266 --> 00:25:17,699
Oh, man.
674
00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:19,898
Go on. Take it back.
675
00:25:19,966 --> 00:25:22,732
Okay, okay, fine.
676
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:23,998
Fine! I take it
back, okay?
677
00:25:24,066 --> 00:25:25,232
I take it back.
678
00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:26,932
You gotta watch out
for that kind of stuff.
679
00:25:26,999 --> 00:25:31,032
Okay, all right.
Let's go.
680
00:25:32,466 --> 00:25:33,431
No bomb.
681
00:25:33,499 --> 00:25:34,465
You're sure?
682
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:36,831
We're sure.
No bomb. No bomb.
683
00:25:36,899 --> 00:25:38,231
It's too bad.
684
00:25:38,299 --> 00:25:39,666
Want us to start
on the elephants?
685
00:25:39,733 --> 00:25:40,665
Skip it.
686
00:25:40,733 --> 00:25:41,565
Yes, sir.
687
00:25:41,633 --> 00:25:43,765
Any thoughts?
688
00:25:43,832 --> 00:25:45,198
I don't understand.
689
00:25:45,266 --> 00:25:46,431
It doesn't make
any sense.
690
00:25:46,499 --> 00:25:47,665
It was supposed
to be here.
691
00:25:47,732 --> 00:25:49,831
Maybe I can
help you out.
692
00:25:49,899 --> 00:25:53,332
You see, I'm a policeman,
and you're a lunatic.
693
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,165
That's why we got
stuffing coming out
of our ear.
694
00:25:55,233 --> 00:25:56,198
Furthermore...
That's pretty funny.
Let me tell...
695
00:25:56,266 --> 00:25:57,798
There's a phone
call for you.
696
00:25:57,865 --> 00:25:59,365
One guess: the mayor?
697
00:25:59,433 --> 00:26:01,098
Correct.
698
00:26:01,166 --> 00:26:03,398
You got three minutes
to come up with
an explanation.
699
00:26:03,466 --> 00:26:05,598
After that, I'm putting you
in a straitjacket.
700
00:26:14,633 --> 00:26:16,231
It changed.
701
00:26:16,299 --> 00:26:19,132
I don't get it.
702
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,765
("O Tannenbaum" playing softly)
703
00:26:33,166 --> 00:26:35,398
(music continues)
704
00:27:00,866 --> 00:27:02,265
I got it.
I'm dreaming.
705
00:27:02,333 --> 00:27:04,631
This is all because
of some hot sauce I ate.
706
00:27:04,699 --> 00:27:05,631
I doubt it.
707
00:27:05,699 --> 00:27:07,131
Any moment now
I'm gonna wake up
708
00:27:07,199 --> 00:27:10,065
and find myself laying
in a gutter, drunk.
709
00:27:10,132 --> 00:27:11,932
Which would be
just fine with me.
710
00:27:11,999 --> 00:27:13,765
What are you doing?
711
00:27:13,833 --> 00:27:16,065
We're gonna need wheels.
712
00:27:16,132 --> 00:27:17,298
You're stealing a car?!
713
00:27:17,366 --> 00:27:19,531
Shh!
Oh, no, no, no.
714
00:27:19,599 --> 00:27:22,499
Look, I already got a record
because of you.
715
00:27:22,566 --> 00:27:25,332
And I'm not gonna add
grand theft larceny
to the list.
716
00:27:25,399 --> 00:27:26,499
Fine! Go!
717
00:27:26,566 --> 00:27:28,231
You betcha I'm going.
718
00:27:28,299 --> 00:27:29,498
But remember this:
719
00:27:29,566 --> 00:27:32,398
If I am who I say I am,
you're walking away
720
00:27:32,466 --> 00:27:33,898
from the one chance
in your life
721
00:27:33,965 --> 00:27:35,432
to do something good
for the world,
722
00:27:35,500 --> 00:27:37,964
if that means anything to you.
723
00:27:38,033 --> 00:27:40,498
Think it does?
724
00:27:40,566 --> 00:27:42,432
Okay.
725
00:27:42,500 --> 00:27:44,265
Get in!
726
00:27:44,333 --> 00:27:46,731
I thought you said we were
going to the park?
727
00:27:46,799 --> 00:27:48,332
We missed it.
728
00:27:48,399 --> 00:27:50,098
We need to meet it
at the next stop.
729
00:27:50,166 --> 00:27:51,398
Where is that?
730
00:27:51,466 --> 00:27:53,065
Cleveland.
731
00:27:53,133 --> 00:27:55,631
(engine starts)
732
00:27:55,699 --> 00:27:58,265
(dial tone droning)
733
00:27:58,332 --> 00:28:00,365
All right, let's
wrap it up.
734
00:28:00,432 --> 00:28:03,332
86 the dead bears, and
let's get out of here.
735
00:28:03,399 --> 00:28:04,498
GARY:
Hey, Crumb.
736
00:28:04,566 --> 00:28:06,765
Crumb, I found
another note.
737
00:28:06,833 --> 00:28:07,765
Good for you.
738
00:28:07,833 --> 00:28:09,232
What do you mean,
good for me?
739
00:28:09,300 --> 00:28:10,398
Don't you want
to read it?
740
00:28:10,466 --> 00:28:12,232
No, thanks.
Well, I think
you should.
741
00:28:12,300 --> 00:28:13,732
I think I know
what's going on now.
742
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,032
Oh, that's nice.
I'm thrilled.
743
00:28:15,099 --> 00:28:16,165
You're thrilled?
744
00:28:16,233 --> 00:28:17,498
Tell it to the new guy.
745
00:28:17,566 --> 00:28:19,398
Tell it...?
Wait. What new guy?
746
00:28:19,466 --> 00:28:22,332
The poor slob
that they're gonna bring
in to handle this thing.
747
00:28:22,399 --> 00:28:25,532
Me? I'm gonna go home
and hang Christmas lights.
748
00:28:25,599 --> 00:28:28,565
You're gonna...
Wait a second.
749
00:28:28,633 --> 00:28:30,065
You're off the case?
750
00:28:30,133 --> 00:28:31,498
The mayor wants results?
751
00:28:31,566 --> 00:28:33,065
I don't got 'em.
752
00:28:33,133 --> 00:28:35,565
See ya.
753
00:28:35,633 --> 00:28:38,032
Whatever happened
to Cabbage Patch dolls?
754
00:28:38,099 --> 00:28:39,965
Ah, the heck with it.
I need a drink.
755
00:28:40,033 --> 00:28:42,632
Come on. You're buying.
756
00:28:42,700 --> 00:28:44,232
MAN:
Yeah, you do
and you'll clean it up.
757
00:28:44,299 --> 00:28:45,498
GARY:
Excuse me. Excuse me.
758
00:28:45,566 --> 00:28:48,298
WOMAN:
Oh, come on.
You can't be serious.
759
00:28:48,366 --> 00:28:49,298
You okay?
760
00:28:49,366 --> 00:28:51,498
Yeah, great.
761
00:28:51,566 --> 00:28:52,531
Listen, Crumb...
762
00:28:52,599 --> 00:28:53,798
It's Christmas Eve.
763
00:28:53,866 --> 00:28:56,398
I'm off the case,
maybe out of a job,
764
00:28:56,466 --> 00:28:58,498
That's 30 years on the force
down the toilet.
765
00:28:58,566 --> 00:29:00,031
How could things be bad?
766
00:29:00,099 --> 00:29:02,532
Here, merry Christmas.
767
00:29:02,599 --> 00:29:04,298
Maybe you should get
something to eat with that.
768
00:29:04,366 --> 00:29:06,532
Like what, Christmas crow?
769
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,298
Listen, you can't
let this get to you.
770
00:29:08,366 --> 00:29:09,631
Giving up is not the solution.
771
00:29:09,699 --> 00:29:11,398
Who says?
You know, this beer is flat.
772
00:29:11,466 --> 00:29:14,065
Somewhere out there there's a
guy planning on killing people.
773
00:29:14,132 --> 00:29:15,198
With what, love notes?
774
00:29:15,265 --> 00:29:17,232
Sooner or later,
he's gonna succeed.
775
00:29:17,300 --> 00:29:18,732
You know what gets me?
776
00:29:18,799 --> 00:29:20,098
It's not this crummy bar
777
00:29:20,166 --> 00:29:21,599
or the fact
that my bunions ache
778
00:29:21,667 --> 00:29:23,699
or that I staked my pension
on the word of some nut
779
00:29:23,766 --> 00:29:25,232
that reads tea leaves,
780
00:29:25,299 --> 00:29:27,332
what gets me is I'm never
gonna get a chance
781
00:29:27,399 --> 00:29:28,365
to see this guy's face.
782
00:29:28,432 --> 00:29:30,298
I just wish
I knew how he did it!
783
00:29:30,366 --> 00:29:32,398
He was watching you.
784
00:29:32,466 --> 00:29:33,399
What?
785
00:29:33,466 --> 00:29:34,864
Listen to what I'm saying.
786
00:29:34,932 --> 00:29:37,198
This guy knew where we were.
787
00:29:37,266 --> 00:29:39,399
We thought we were following
him, but we weren't.
788
00:29:39,466 --> 00:29:40,765
He was following you.
789
00:29:40,833 --> 00:29:42,632
Cat and mouse.
790
00:29:42,700 --> 00:29:44,731
And you were the mouse, Crumb.
791
00:29:44,799 --> 00:29:47,031
All right, that's it.
He ticked me off.
792
00:29:47,099 --> 00:29:48,565
I'm gonna track this guy down
793
00:29:48,632 --> 00:29:50,465
if it takes me
the rest of my life.
794
00:29:50,533 --> 00:29:51,798
MAN:
Excuse me.
795
00:29:51,866 --> 00:29:52,831
Detective Crumb?
796
00:29:52,899 --> 00:29:53,965
Yeah?
797
00:29:54,033 --> 00:29:55,765
I have a message
for you.
798
00:29:55,832 --> 00:29:58,398
(patrons gasp)
799
00:29:58,466 --> 00:29:59,399
Nobody move!
800
00:29:59,466 --> 00:30:02,065
Nobody move! Nobody move!
801
00:30:02,132 --> 00:30:03,532
Nobody!
(scattered screams)
802
00:30:03,599 --> 00:30:06,398
Nobody move!
803
00:30:06,466 --> 00:30:10,065
♪ Old man on the rooftop,
reindeers, too ♪
804
00:30:10,132 --> 00:30:15,565
♪ To bring my merry Christmas
and happy New Year, too. ♪
805
00:30:19,166 --> 00:30:22,666
♪ I'm your Santa,
and I am coming to town ♪
806
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:31,031
♪ I am your Santa,
and I am coming to town ♪
807
00:30:31,099 --> 00:30:34,565
I'm not used to steering
with a wheel.
808
00:30:34,633 --> 00:30:36,965
Gee, I never
would have guessed.
809
00:30:37,033 --> 00:30:39,532
Easy, big boy.
810
00:30:39,599 --> 00:30:41,798
Do you even know
where you're going?
811
00:30:41,866 --> 00:30:42,931
To the highway.
812
00:30:42,999 --> 00:30:44,998
The highway's down here?
813
00:30:45,066 --> 00:30:46,598
It's a shortcut.
814
00:30:46,666 --> 00:30:49,231
Go left at Angela
Monihan's house.
815
00:30:49,299 --> 00:30:52,165
The one with the
stucco chimney.
816
00:30:52,232 --> 00:30:55,132
She's naughty.
Nice...
817
00:30:55,199 --> 00:30:57,665
I wish Gary were here.
818
00:30:57,732 --> 00:30:59,198
Gary who?
819
00:30:59,266 --> 00:31:00,765
He's a friend of mine.
820
00:31:00,832 --> 00:31:03,131
Gary Hobson.
You know him?
821
00:31:03,199 --> 00:31:04,865
Natch.
822
00:31:04,932 --> 00:31:06,165
Okay, then tell me.
823
00:31:06,233 --> 00:31:07,599
What's different about him?
824
00:31:07,667 --> 00:31:08,898
Different?
825
00:31:08,965 --> 00:31:10,798
Yeah, that's right.
Different.
826
00:31:10,865 --> 00:31:13,332
If you're Santa Claus,
you should know.
827
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:14,831
Let's see.
828
00:31:14,899 --> 00:31:17,499
He's got a mole
in his armpit.
829
00:31:17,566 --> 00:31:18,998
What else?
830
00:31:19,066 --> 00:31:23,064
Batted .461
in Little League.
831
00:31:23,132 --> 00:31:27,566
He gets tomorrow's paper...
today.
832
00:31:27,633 --> 00:31:28,998
Oh, that!
833
00:31:29,066 --> 00:31:31,532
I thought you meant
something unusual.
834
00:31:36,233 --> 00:31:37,465
(woman screams)
835
00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:41,965
One more scream,
and I'll set this thing off.
836
00:31:42,033 --> 00:31:43,598
Tell them I mean it.
837
00:31:43,665 --> 00:31:45,498
Everybody be calm;
he's not gonna hurt you.
838
00:31:45,566 --> 00:31:46,699
(murmurs from patrons)
839
00:31:46,766 --> 00:31:48,299
He came in for me.
That's right, isn't it?
840
00:31:48,366 --> 00:31:49,932
You betcha.
841
00:31:49,999 --> 00:31:51,432
You want to tell me why?
842
00:31:51,499 --> 00:31:53,231
I thought we should meet.
843
00:31:53,299 --> 00:31:54,865
Fine, fine.
Nice to meet you.
844
00:31:54,932 --> 00:31:56,399
Why don't we go outside
and talk?
845
00:31:56,466 --> 00:32:00,065
You were following me.
846
00:32:00,132 --> 00:32:01,998
Of course I was following you.
That's my job.
847
00:32:02,066 --> 00:32:03,399
And you,
848
00:32:03,467 --> 00:32:05,731
you were helping him.
849
00:32:05,799 --> 00:32:07,031
I saw you.
850
00:32:07,099 --> 00:32:08,731
Some help.
851
00:32:08,799 --> 00:32:10,331
(man chuckles)
852
00:32:10,399 --> 00:32:12,365
But I fooled you, didn't I?
I did.
853
00:32:12,433 --> 00:32:13,465
Yeah.
854
00:32:13,532 --> 00:32:15,298
I did.
855
00:32:15,366 --> 00:32:17,365
But we won the game.
856
00:32:17,433 --> 00:32:18,965
We won the game.
857
00:32:22,533 --> 00:32:23,531
That's right.
858
00:32:23,599 --> 00:32:25,399
That's right.
859
00:32:25,467 --> 00:32:27,399
You won the game.
860
00:32:27,466 --> 00:32:29,298
So why don't we end it
right now?
861
00:32:34,132 --> 00:32:37,465
Oh, because we haven't played
the last round yet.
862
00:32:38,865 --> 00:32:40,831
The part where we all go boom.
863
00:32:40,899 --> 00:32:42,998
(groans and gasps)
864
00:32:43,065 --> 00:32:46,298
In, uh, 12 minutes.
865
00:32:50,032 --> 00:32:52,499
CHUCK:
Okay, I think I've got
this thing figured out.
866
00:32:52,567 --> 00:32:55,031
What's that?
What we're gonna
tell the cops.
867
00:32:55,099 --> 00:32:56,698
Sorry.
868
00:32:56,766 --> 00:32:59,132
We plead insanity, okay?
869
00:32:59,199 --> 00:33:00,898
Well, you or me?
870
00:33:00,966 --> 00:33:03,332
We tell 'em you ate
too many French fries,
871
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:04,831
you lost your mind.
872
00:33:04,899 --> 00:33:06,864
You abducted me
at gunpoint, right?
873
00:33:06,932 --> 00:33:08,965
I don't approve of guns.
874
00:33:09,032 --> 00:33:10,964
Except for the toy ones.
875
00:33:11,032 --> 00:33:12,798
All right, fine-- a toy gun.
876
00:33:12,865 --> 00:33:15,664
We call 'em up,
and we turn ourselves in.
877
00:33:15,732 --> 00:33:18,664
And then we sell
the whole story to Oprah.
878
00:33:18,732 --> 00:33:20,932
Holy cow,
we might even end up ahead!
879
00:33:20,999 --> 00:33:22,898
I wouldn't count on it.
880
00:33:22,966 --> 00:33:24,365
(siren blares)
881
00:33:26,166 --> 00:33:28,798
(siren blares)
882
00:33:28,866 --> 00:33:30,664
(over speaker):
This is the police.
Oh! Okay.
883
00:33:30,732 --> 00:33:33,798
Shut off your engine and put
your hands on the dashboard now.
Okay. Okay.
884
00:33:33,865 --> 00:33:36,165
Just act natural.
I am acting natural.
885
00:33:36,233 --> 00:33:38,497
I mean, don't act
like Santa Claus.
886
00:33:38,565 --> 00:33:40,332
That's gonna be hard.
887
00:33:46,500 --> 00:33:48,298
Remember-- French fries,
888
00:33:48,366 --> 00:33:51,299
Oprah, book deals, okay?
889
00:33:51,366 --> 00:33:53,131
Right?
890
00:33:53,199 --> 00:33:54,731
(tires squeal)
891
00:33:54,799 --> 00:33:56,565
CHUCK:
What are you doing?!
892
00:33:56,632 --> 00:33:58,065
I know 'em both!
893
00:33:58,132 --> 00:34:01,065
Neither of them is nice!
894
00:34:01,133 --> 00:34:03,598
Oh, no, I think
it's going quite well,
895
00:34:03,666 --> 00:34:05,498
all according to plan.
896
00:34:05,566 --> 00:34:08,665
I just... hope
we didn't forget anything.
897
00:34:09,932 --> 00:34:11,098
Hm.
898
00:34:11,166 --> 00:34:12,798
You watch them.
899
00:34:12,865 --> 00:34:14,065
I'll write the note.
900
00:34:14,133 --> 00:34:15,465
Let's see, um...
901
00:34:15,532 --> 00:34:17,332
This guy is nuttier
than a Snickers bar.
902
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,432
We got to get him
away from that bomb.
903
00:34:19,500 --> 00:34:22,065
How do you suggest we do that,
ask him "pretty please"?
904
00:34:22,133 --> 00:34:23,665
Yeah, we could do that.
905
00:34:23,732 --> 00:34:26,432
Uh, rats...
906
00:34:26,500 --> 00:34:28,465
moles...
907
00:34:28,533 --> 00:34:29,764
bats...
908
00:34:29,832 --> 00:34:32,132
and weasels. Yeah.
909
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:34,265
The hour has come.
910
00:34:34,333 --> 00:34:36,265
All right, that's it,
we got to rush him.
911
00:34:36,332 --> 00:34:37,431
Oh, yeah, and soon.
912
00:34:37,499 --> 00:34:39,164
Count of three. You ready?
913
00:34:39,232 --> 00:34:41,165
One, two...
914
00:34:41,233 --> 00:34:42,499
I told you not to move!
915
00:34:42,567 --> 00:34:43,931
I told you!
916
00:34:43,999 --> 00:34:44,964
Okay.
917
00:34:45,032 --> 00:34:46,998
I'll blow it now.
918
00:34:49,065 --> 00:34:51,064
Come on, Kriss Kringle!
919
00:34:51,133 --> 00:34:53,064
I'm right
behind you!
920
00:34:54,433 --> 00:34:56,198
(distant siren wailing)
921
00:34:56,265 --> 00:34:58,665
This way.
Why did we have
to ditch the car?
922
00:34:58,733 --> 00:35:00,098
Because you stole it!
923
00:35:00,166 --> 00:35:03,131
I was gonna give it back.
Yeah, right, and
reindeer have wings.
924
00:35:03,199 --> 00:35:04,565
Only when
they're pups.
925
00:35:07,399 --> 00:35:11,198
(quietly):
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
926
00:35:11,266 --> 00:35:14,199
Hey, you with the animal.
927
00:35:16,233 --> 00:35:18,332
I think it's time
we had a talk.
928
00:35:20,332 --> 00:35:22,532
There's nothing to talk about.
929
00:35:22,599 --> 00:35:24,798
Yeah, well,
I got something to talk about.
930
00:35:28,532 --> 00:35:31,398
I'm old, I'm tired,
931
00:35:31,466 --> 00:35:33,931
my feet are flat.
932
00:35:33,999 --> 00:35:37,665
You want to blow me
to pieces, hey, go ahead.
933
00:35:37,733 --> 00:35:40,198
I probably
deserve it anyway.
934
00:35:40,266 --> 00:35:43,731
But before you do,
think about this:
935
00:35:43,799 --> 00:35:46,165
It's Christmas Eve.
936
00:35:46,233 --> 00:35:49,998
All over the world, people
are getting ready for...
937
00:35:50,066 --> 00:35:51,665
what, I do not know.
938
00:35:51,733 --> 00:35:53,131
Neither do they.
939
00:35:53,199 --> 00:35:54,599
But it's important,
940
00:35:54,667 --> 00:35:56,098
something worth
waiting for.
941
00:35:56,166 --> 00:35:57,532
It's the same
942
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,898
with these people here.
943
00:35:59,966 --> 00:36:02,631
They all got someplace to go,
somebody who needs 'em.
944
00:36:02,698 --> 00:36:03,931
Me?
945
00:36:03,999 --> 00:36:05,265
I don't.
946
00:36:05,332 --> 00:36:07,898
So why don't you
let them go?
947
00:36:07,965 --> 00:36:09,399
You don't want them.
948
00:36:09,466 --> 00:36:10,831
You want me.
949
00:36:10,899 --> 00:36:13,499
So come on,
what do you say?
950
00:36:13,566 --> 00:36:15,864
Make Santa happy.
951
00:36:20,199 --> 00:36:22,565
Santa?
952
00:36:27,999 --> 00:36:29,265
CRUMB:
Who the hell is this?!
953
00:36:29,333 --> 00:36:30,432
BOMBER:
I'll blow it now!
954
00:36:30,499 --> 00:36:32,298
Chuck, get the hell
out of here now!
955
00:36:32,366 --> 00:36:34,498
I-I can't. I...
956
00:36:34,566 --> 00:36:35,697
Oh. Oh, perfect.
957
00:36:35,765 --> 00:36:36,931
I'll blow it now!
958
00:36:36,999 --> 00:36:38,131
Drop your guns!
959
00:36:38,199 --> 00:36:39,632
The guy's
got a bomb!
960
00:36:39,699 --> 00:36:40,798
You heard him-- now!
961
00:36:40,865 --> 00:36:43,265
Did he say a bomb?
962
00:36:43,333 --> 00:36:44,864
On Christmas Eve?
963
00:36:44,933 --> 00:36:46,299
That's naughty
964
00:36:46,366 --> 00:36:47,765
if I ever heard it.
965
00:36:47,832 --> 00:36:50,165
Look, please, do me favor,
huh, just this once? Please?
966
00:36:50,233 --> 00:36:52,232
Look, mister... look,
BOMBER:
Stand back.
967
00:36:52,299 --> 00:36:53,965
I know you don't want
to do this.
968
00:36:54,033 --> 00:36:55,432
I know you-you
really don't want
969
00:36:55,499 --> 00:36:57,498
to do this.
BOMBER:
One more step,
970
00:36:57,566 --> 00:37:00,132
and I'll set it off.
971
00:37:00,199 --> 00:37:02,432
Ralphy?
972
00:37:05,233 --> 00:37:06,831
(quietly):
What?
973
00:37:06,899 --> 00:37:09,698
Ralphy Melhall,
974
00:37:09,766 --> 00:37:11,165
right?
975
00:37:11,233 --> 00:37:13,332
Uh, that's not my name.
976
00:37:13,399 --> 00:37:15,998
Well, sure it is!
You're little Ralphy!
977
00:37:16,066 --> 00:37:17,131
No.
978
00:37:17,199 --> 00:37:19,499
I am not--
I'm... Howard Phillips.
979
00:37:19,567 --> 00:37:21,998
Oh, that's right--
Howard Phillips!
980
00:37:22,065 --> 00:37:25,131
I always got
you two confused.
981
00:37:25,199 --> 00:37:26,897
So, what are
you doing here?
982
00:37:26,965 --> 00:37:29,465
Well, what does it
look like I'm doing?
Howie
983
00:37:29,533 --> 00:37:31,466
Phillips.
984
00:37:31,533 --> 00:37:33,231
Who is this?
985
00:37:33,299 --> 00:37:34,465
I don't know.
986
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:39,031
You know, you used to be
987
00:37:39,099 --> 00:37:41,365
one of my favorite
kids-- nice,
988
00:37:41,433 --> 00:37:43,565
year after year.
989
00:37:43,632 --> 00:37:45,998
Very consistent.
Remember?
990
00:37:46,066 --> 00:37:49,964
I got you your
first chemistry set.
991
00:37:51,099 --> 00:37:52,198
(stammers softly)
992
00:37:52,266 --> 00:37:53,398
Uh, I don't rememb...
993
00:37:53,466 --> 00:37:55,565
SANTA:
Oh, you remember--
it had all those little
994
00:37:55,632 --> 00:37:56,698
test tubes.
995
00:37:56,765 --> 00:37:58,065
Plus, I-I got you
996
00:37:58,132 --> 00:37:59,664
a teddy bear, too.
997
00:38:00,766 --> 00:38:01,898
Then...
998
00:38:01,965 --> 00:38:03,631
w-well, something happened.
999
00:38:03,699 --> 00:38:04,898
Wh-What was it?
1000
00:38:04,966 --> 00:38:07,964
You're not really Santa.
1001
00:38:08,032 --> 00:38:10,165
Oh, that's what happened.
1002
00:38:10,233 --> 00:38:12,132
You stopped believing.
1003
00:38:12,199 --> 00:38:15,431
Yeah, I remember
the day.
1004
00:38:15,499 --> 00:38:17,032
I was standing
in my workshop,
1005
00:38:17,099 --> 00:38:19,365
helping the elves
make Parcheesi sets,
1006
00:38:19,433 --> 00:38:22,298
when all of a sudden
I got this hurt, you know,
1007
00:38:22,366 --> 00:38:25,532
ache right in my heart,
like some little piece
1008
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:28,198
of joy had suddenly
1009
00:38:28,265 --> 00:38:30,132
withered away.
1010
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:33,365
Mrs. Claus said,
"It's indigestion, honey,"
1011
00:38:33,432 --> 00:38:35,298
but I knew better.
1012
00:38:35,366 --> 00:38:37,565
Oh, God.
"Someone
has stopped
1013
00:38:37,633 --> 00:38:40,964
believing," I said.
1014
00:38:41,032 --> 00:38:42,731
It was my mother.
1015
00:38:42,799 --> 00:38:44,564
She was always...
1016
00:38:44,632 --> 00:38:47,365
It really hurt me, you know?
1017
00:38:47,433 --> 00:38:50,299
I mean, you stopped writing me.
1018
00:38:50,366 --> 00:38:52,065
Y-You stopped
1019
00:38:52,132 --> 00:38:54,931
even thinking of me.
1020
00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:56,865
Didn't you?
1021
00:38:59,033 --> 00:39:01,198
Yeah. I'm sorry.
1022
00:39:05,232 --> 00:39:08,265
Oh... c-can I see it?
1023
00:39:08,332 --> 00:39:09,765
Mm-mm.
1024
00:39:09,832 --> 00:39:11,865
Well, I'll give it back.
No.
1025
00:39:11,932 --> 00:39:13,499
I promise.
1026
00:39:14,932 --> 00:39:16,998
(whimpers)
1027
00:39:24,932 --> 00:39:27,165
(whimpers)
1028
00:39:28,266 --> 00:39:31,831
(people gasp)
Thanks.
1029
00:39:31,898 --> 00:39:33,198
BOMBER:
No! My bear!
1030
00:39:33,266 --> 00:39:35,032
My bear.
1031
00:39:35,100 --> 00:39:37,032
All right, cuff this guy.
1032
00:39:38,999 --> 00:39:40,698
BOMBER:
Oh! No!
1033
00:39:40,766 --> 00:39:42,998
Oh, God! Oh...
1034
00:39:43,066 --> 00:39:45,831
(loud explosion,
people yelling, gasping)
1035
00:39:45,899 --> 00:39:50,032
(people groaning, crying)
1036
00:39:50,099 --> 00:39:52,098
That didn't
sound too good.
1037
00:39:52,166 --> 00:39:53,498
Uh-huh.
1038
00:39:53,566 --> 00:39:56,365
(car alarms blaring in distance)
1039
00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:03,998
Oh, my God.
1040
00:40:10,500 --> 00:40:13,098
(faint jingling growing louder)
1041
00:40:21,032 --> 00:40:22,632
(jingling)
1042
00:40:24,166 --> 00:40:25,565
(jingles)
1043
00:40:38,865 --> 00:40:39,965
Yes, sir.
1044
00:40:40,033 --> 00:40:42,697
Yes, sir, that's right,
we got the guy.
1045
00:40:42,765 --> 00:40:44,132
"The city can awake
1046
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:45,632
from its nightmare
of terror"--
1047
00:40:45,699 --> 00:40:47,098
that's very good,
Your Honor.
1048
00:40:47,166 --> 00:40:49,298
Merry Christmas to you, too.
1049
00:40:51,033 --> 00:40:53,831
Well, congratulations;
you're a hero.
1050
00:40:53,899 --> 00:40:54,998
I owe you one.
1051
00:40:55,066 --> 00:40:56,131
You, too.
1052
00:40:56,199 --> 00:40:58,031
Plus that bozo who went bang.
1053
00:40:58,099 --> 00:41:00,765
Well, take your stuff
and get out of here.
1054
00:41:00,832 --> 00:41:03,099
Sir, he broke out of jail.
1055
00:41:03,166 --> 00:41:05,032
You want to explain that
to a board of inquiry?
1056
00:41:06,132 --> 00:41:07,599
Yeah.
1057
00:41:07,667 --> 00:41:10,399
Funny thing is, I still
can't believe he's dead.
1058
00:41:10,466 --> 00:41:13,566
I mean, I know he came
down in pieces, but...
1059
00:41:13,633 --> 00:41:17,265
a guy like that, he
really believed he was
what he thought he was,
1060
00:41:17,333 --> 00:41:19,864
you know, and you sort
of have to admire that.
1061
00:41:19,932 --> 00:41:21,431
He got you.
1062
00:41:21,499 --> 00:41:22,498
Cynical me.
1063
00:41:22,566 --> 00:41:25,898
I thought he was
just a cheap con.
1064
00:41:25,966 --> 00:41:28,164
My keys.
1065
00:41:28,232 --> 00:41:30,632
He stole my keys.
1066
00:41:42,798 --> 00:41:45,897
Funny, your car was here
an hour ago.
1067
00:41:45,965 --> 00:41:49,132
Somebody must've took it.
1068
00:41:49,199 --> 00:41:51,465
Yep! (sighs)
1069
00:41:56,032 --> 00:41:58,564
GARY:
I think this
is for you.
1070
00:42:11,733 --> 00:42:15,666
(orchestral version
of "White Christmas" playing)
1071
00:42:22,499 --> 00:42:24,098
CHUCK:
It's magic.
1072
00:42:24,166 --> 00:42:27,898
At least it is if you believe.
1073
00:42:27,966 --> 00:42:32,231
Which, I guess,
can happen to the best of us.
1074
00:42:32,299 --> 00:42:34,698
♪ ♪
1075
00:42:37,199 --> 00:42:38,631
Merry Christmas.
1076
00:42:38,699 --> 00:42:40,065
Yeah, same to you.
1077
00:42:41,699 --> 00:42:44,065
It all depends
on being wise enough
1078
00:42:44,132 --> 00:42:46,298
to know your heart...
1079
00:42:49,932 --> 00:42:51,698
...and young enough
1080
00:42:51,765 --> 00:42:55,098
to feel that old surprise.
1081
00:42:55,166 --> 00:42:57,698
♪ I'm ♪
1082
00:42:57,765 --> 00:43:00,065
♪ Dreaming of ♪
1083
00:43:00,132 --> 00:43:03,665
♪ A white ♪
1084
00:43:03,733 --> 00:43:07,132
♪ Christmas ♪
1085
00:43:07,199 --> 00:43:09,132
♪ With every ♪
1086
00:43:09,199 --> 00:43:11,331
(cat yowls)
♪ Christmas card ♪
1087
00:43:11,399 --> 00:43:16,265
♪ I write... ♪
1088
00:43:16,333 --> 00:43:19,565
♪ May your days ♪
1089
00:43:19,632 --> 00:43:22,398
♪ Be merry ♪
1090
00:43:22,466 --> 00:43:24,764
♪ And bright... ♪
1091
00:43:26,300 --> 00:43:28,764
(music slows)
1092
00:43:28,832 --> 00:43:30,965
♪ And may ♪
1093
00:43:31,033 --> 00:43:34,831
♪ All your ♪
1094
00:43:34,899 --> 00:43:39,731
♪ Christmases ♪
1095
00:43:39,799 --> 00:43:41,864
♪ Be ♪
1096
00:43:41,933 --> 00:43:43,764
♪ White. ♪
1097
00:43:43,832 --> 00:43:45,965
Merry Christmas.
1098
00:43:56,033 --> 00:43:59,265
SANTA (in distance):
Merry Christmas!
1098
00:44:00,305 --> 00:45:00,617
Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports
Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP