1
00:00:08,399 --> 00:00:11,333
(low hissing)
2
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:19,074
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3
00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:24,265
(snoring)
4
00:00:24,333 --> 00:00:25,265
(elevator bell dings)
5
00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,632
Miss Redmond?
6
00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:35,631
(elevator bell dings)
7
00:00:36,699 --> 00:00:38,765
Miss Redmond.
(knocking)
8
00:00:38,833 --> 00:00:39,932
Miss Redmond.
9
00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:41,331
(British accent):
She can't hear you.
10
00:00:41,399 --> 00:00:42,598
The old darling's deaf
as a post.
11
00:00:42,666 --> 00:00:43,598
What's the problem?
12
00:00:43,666 --> 00:00:44,965
She's got gas.
13
00:00:45,033 --> 00:00:46,232
She's got what?
14
00:00:46,299 --> 00:00:48,165
No, I mean, I can smell gas.
15
00:00:48,232 --> 00:00:49,598
Oh.
16
00:00:49,666 --> 00:00:50,965
Miss Redmond!
17
00:00:51,033 --> 00:00:52,132
Good Lord, you're right.
18
00:00:52,199 --> 00:00:53,365
Come on, Doris,
darling, wake up.
19
00:00:53,432 --> 00:00:54,665
GARY: Come on, Doris.
Come on, dear.
20
00:00:54,732 --> 00:00:56,232
You left the gas on.
GARY: Wake up.
21
00:00:56,299 --> 00:00:58,932
Last week, it was the water,
poor old duck.
22
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,965
Miss Redmond,
please open
23
00:01:01,033 --> 00:01:02,832
the door, would you?
24
00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:04,232
Hey, where
you going?
25
00:01:04,299 --> 00:01:05,966
Hey... Mi...
26
00:01:08,699 --> 00:01:10,498
Miss...
27
00:01:11,599 --> 00:01:12,798
All right, now,
if you want
28
00:01:12,866 --> 00:01:14,065
to go down to
the street,
29
00:01:14,132 --> 00:01:15,765
I may need your
help in a minute.
30
00:01:18,199 --> 00:01:19,799
(groans)
31
00:01:19,866 --> 00:01:21,799
(hissing)
32
00:01:23,132 --> 00:01:25,066
(snoring)
33
00:01:26,366 --> 00:01:28,531
(murmuring)
34
00:01:43,199 --> 00:01:44,932
(onlookers murmuring)
35
00:01:54,966 --> 00:01:56,799
(sighs)
36
00:01:59,966 --> 00:02:02,832
Once more into the breach,
dear friends.
37
00:02:03,933 --> 00:02:06,866
(crowd murmuring in concern)
38
00:02:08,132 --> 00:02:10,066
(hissing)
39
00:02:17,466 --> 00:02:18,698
(sighs)
40
00:02:18,766 --> 00:02:21,032
Doris, dear, it's Clive.
41
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:22,465
Come on.
42
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:25,065
You and I are going
for a little ride.
43
00:02:25,133 --> 00:02:26,232
DORIS:
What are you doing?
44
00:02:26,299 --> 00:02:28,032
(Clive grunting)
45
00:02:28,099 --> 00:02:30,532
Oh, sorry, we haven't...
we haven't got a moment to lose.
46
00:02:30,599 --> 00:02:31,565
One spark could set
47
00:02:31,633 --> 00:02:32,966
this whole thing off.
What are you doing?
48
00:02:33,033 --> 00:02:35,066
CLIVE: Come on, let's go...
hurry, hurry.
49
00:02:36,966 --> 00:02:38,899
(crowd murmuring)
50
00:02:43,866 --> 00:02:46,599
(explosion)
(crowd screaming, gasping)
51
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:48,365
MAN: Did you get that?
Did you get that?
52
00:02:48,433 --> 00:02:50,765
MAN 2: Relax... I'm getting
it, I'm getting it.
53
00:02:50,833 --> 00:02:53,498
(Clive grunting)
54
00:02:53,566 --> 00:02:55,665
That was amazing.
55
00:02:55,732 --> 00:02:56,965
Pretty easy, really.
56
00:02:57,033 --> 00:02:59,065
Well, you... you
saved her life.
57
00:02:59,132 --> 00:03:02,299
MAN: Yeah, it's going to be
on all the news channels.
58
00:03:02,366 --> 00:03:04,099
Yeah, let's hope
it doesn't end mine.
59
00:03:04,166 --> 00:03:05,832
Huh?
60
00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:07,332
(theme music playing)
61
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,965
CHUCK: What if you
knew, beyond a doubt,
62
00:03:10,033 --> 00:03:12,199
what was going
to happen tomorrow?
63
00:03:12,266 --> 00:03:13,699
What would you do?
64
00:03:13,767 --> 00:03:15,932
There's no easy answer
65
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,032
for a guy
who gets tomorrow's news today.
66
00:03:25,633 --> 00:03:27,765
♪
67
00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:59,832
♪
68
00:04:02,233 --> 00:04:04,265
(radio chimes)
69
00:04:04,333 --> 00:04:05,965
RADIOCASTER:
Good morning, Chicago.
70
00:04:06,033 --> 00:04:07,998
It's another cold one out there.
71
00:04:08,066 --> 00:04:09,832
Forecast is freezing
temperatures,
72
00:04:09,899 --> 00:04:12,099
(cat meowing)
and 90% chance
of more snow tonight.
73
00:04:12,166 --> 00:04:14,732
(newspaper thuds against door)
Ooh, it's going to be a cold one...
74
00:04:14,799 --> 00:04:15,732
(broadcast stops)
75
00:04:21,434 --> 00:04:23,299
(purrs)
76
00:04:27,366 --> 00:04:30,398
"Hero killed in hit and run."
77
00:04:32,299 --> 00:04:34,232
(tires screeching)
78
00:04:38,666 --> 00:04:41,565
Great... now I get
to save yesterday's hero.
79
00:04:41,633 --> 00:04:42,565
I'm out of here.
80
00:04:42,633 --> 00:04:43,732
CHUCK:
Wait a minute.
81
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,265
What about more pressing issues
82
00:04:45,332 --> 00:04:46,431
in the world?
Like what?
83
00:04:46,499 --> 00:04:49,331
Like this painting and scraping,
84
00:04:49,399 --> 00:04:52,032
which you were supposed
to help me with.
85
00:04:52,099 --> 00:04:54,932
Yeah, well, yesterday, I had
to stop a woman from blowing up.
86
00:04:54,999 --> 00:04:56,898
And-and now this guy
that helps me,
87
00:04:56,966 --> 00:04:58,365
he's here in the paper again.
88
00:04:58,433 --> 00:05:00,631
Don't you think
that's kind of strange?
89
00:05:00,699 --> 00:05:02,232
Oh, yeah... humanity first.
90
00:05:02,299 --> 00:05:04,331
Leave all the chores to Fishman.
Look, I'll help you
91
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,332
with the painting later.
92
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:06,832
Right now, I got to deal
with Clive,
93
00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:08,898
uh... Harbison.
94
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,066
Sun-Times.
95
00:05:11,133 --> 00:05:13,032
Thanks, buddy.
96
00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:17,032
Gotcha, you little limey!
97
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,032
(chuckles)
98
00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:28,165
Oh, hello, it's you.
99
00:05:28,232 --> 00:05:29,365
Yeah, I'm sorry, old man.
100
00:05:29,432 --> 00:05:30,865
I'm fresh out of heroics today.
101
00:05:30,932 --> 00:05:32,198
What are you doing...
you moving?
102
00:05:32,266 --> 00:05:34,132
That's very
perceptive of you.
103
00:05:34,199 --> 00:05:35,598
Oh, that's...
that's good.
104
00:05:35,666 --> 00:05:36,698
That's good...
you should move.
105
00:05:36,766 --> 00:05:37,931
You should move on
in life.
106
00:05:37,999 --> 00:05:39,032
That's very healthy.
107
00:05:39,099 --> 00:05:40,665
Matter of fact,
you know what I think?
108
00:05:40,732 --> 00:05:42,898
I think that you should
start moving right now.
109
00:05:42,966 --> 00:05:43,965
Are you daft?
110
00:05:44,033 --> 00:05:45,765
I'm waiting for
a removal van.
111
00:05:45,833 --> 00:05:47,199
Yeah, but it's cold
outside, and you...
112
00:05:47,266 --> 00:05:48,832
you don't want to catch a cold.
(chuckles)
113
00:05:48,899 --> 00:05:50,098
Call this cold?
114
00:05:50,166 --> 00:05:52,765
You should try a Scottish
grass moor at dawn.
115
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:03,331
Ah!
116
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,165
(tires squealing)
117
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,531
Move it! Coming through!
118
00:06:11,599 --> 00:06:12,932
Here we go, baby.
119
00:06:12,999 --> 00:06:14,065
(chuckles)
120
00:06:14,132 --> 00:06:16,565
Oh, bloody hell.
121
00:06:16,633 --> 00:06:18,165
(tires squealing)
122
00:06:18,233 --> 00:06:19,199
Come on, run,
you idiot!
123
00:06:19,266 --> 00:06:20,099
Whoa!
124
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,599
This way. Whoa! Go in there!
125
00:06:23,666 --> 00:06:24,865
Whoa!
126
00:06:24,933 --> 00:06:26,832
(tires squealing)
127
00:06:26,900 --> 00:06:28,465
MAN: Open the damn door!
Open it!
128
00:06:28,533 --> 00:06:29,899
I think this is
what they call
129
00:06:29,966 --> 00:06:31,399
an extreme example
of road rage.
130
00:06:31,466 --> 00:06:32,532
I got you
now, Clive!
131
00:06:32,599 --> 00:06:35,398
You're not getting
away from me now!
132
00:06:35,466 --> 00:06:36,598
(gun firing)
133
00:06:36,666 --> 00:06:39,099
I got you,
you lousy little limey punk!
134
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:40,165
(grunting)
135
00:06:41,867 --> 00:06:42,798
(gun firing)
136
00:06:42,867 --> 00:06:44,132
Hold those doors!
137
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,932
(gun firing)
138
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,932
(screaming, gunfire ricochets)
139
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:52,365
Whoa, hold that bus!
140
00:06:52,433 --> 00:06:53,866
Hey!
141
00:06:53,933 --> 00:06:55,365
Hey, open
those doors!
142
00:06:55,433 --> 00:06:57,265
I'm going to get your number!
143
00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,332
CLIVE:
Funny little lad.
144
00:07:01,666 --> 00:07:04,765
(sighs)
145
00:07:04,832 --> 00:07:06,765
Spot of courage?
146
00:07:06,832 --> 00:07:07,831
No.
147
00:07:07,899 --> 00:07:09,265
You don't mind
if I do, eh?
148
00:07:11,566 --> 00:07:12,899
Well...
149
00:07:12,967 --> 00:07:14,931
I'm indebted to
you, Mr., uh...
150
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,465
Hobson... Gary Hobson.
151
00:07:16,532 --> 00:07:18,032
Ah, well, tell me
something, Mr. Hobson.
152
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,366
How is it you always seem
to manage to turn up
153
00:07:20,434 --> 00:07:22,598
at the moment du
crise, as it were.
154
00:07:22,666 --> 00:07:24,066
Uh... forget about that.
155
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:25,166
Who was that guy?
156
00:07:25,233 --> 00:07:26,865
Never saw him
before in my life.
157
00:07:26,933 --> 00:07:28,432
Uh-huh.
158
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:32,532
Look, uh... can I
trust you, old man?
159
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:33,665
Have you, uh...
160
00:07:33,733 --> 00:07:36,032
have you ever heard
of the acronym MI6?
161
00:07:37,133 --> 00:07:39,266
Military intelligence,
espionage.
162
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,299
Obviously, I can't
divulge any details.
163
00:07:41,366 --> 00:07:44,498
Suffice it to say that in
my chosen line of work,
164
00:07:44,566 --> 00:07:47,065
one tends to make
enemies along the way.
165
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,899
You're a spy?
166
00:07:48,967 --> 00:07:50,765
Shh.
167
00:07:50,833 --> 00:07:52,398
Officially, I'm supposed
to deny that.
168
00:07:53,933 --> 00:07:54,932
Unbelievable.
169
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,232
(laughs) It is
rather, isn't it?
170
00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:58,499
No, no, what I mean
171
00:07:58,566 --> 00:08:00,365
is I don't believe
a word you just said.
172
00:08:00,433 --> 00:08:02,199
Oh.
173
00:08:02,267 --> 00:08:05,398
Perhaps that's just as
well, for both our sake.
174
00:08:07,367 --> 00:08:09,265
So, where are you
going to go now?
175
00:08:09,333 --> 00:08:11,399
Oh, I'm... I'm going
to follow procedure.
176
00:08:11,467 --> 00:08:14,032
You know, go to
ground, disappear.
177
00:08:15,133 --> 00:08:16,565
And what... what about
all your belongings?
178
00:08:16,633 --> 00:08:18,432
Oh, casualties of war.
179
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:21,032
We rehearse for that sort
of eventuality, Hobson.
180
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,232
And on no account
181
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:24,132
should you blame yourself
for what happened.
182
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:25,264
Blame myself?
183
00:08:25,332 --> 00:08:26,799
Yes, for exposing me,
blowing my cover,
184
00:08:26,866 --> 00:08:28,799
destroying months of
laborious effort.
185
00:08:28,866 --> 00:08:29,932
You weren't to know.
186
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,465
Don't give it another
thought... oh.
187
00:08:31,533 --> 00:08:32,465
My stop.
188
00:08:32,533 --> 00:08:33,465
(bell ringing)
189
00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:36,732
Blast. Ha!
190
00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:38,732
I seem to have
mislaid my wallet.
191
00:08:38,799 --> 00:08:40,265
Oh, well.
192
00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:41,865
C'est la guerre.
193
00:08:41,933 --> 00:08:43,732
Hey, wait.
194
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,431
CHUCK: You invited him here?
GARY: Yep.
195
00:08:45,499 --> 00:08:47,732
He's staying with you?
(Clive singing in other room)
196
00:08:47,799 --> 00:08:48,798
Yeah.
197
00:08:48,866 --> 00:08:50,832
Gare, how many times
have I told you,
198
00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:51,965
don't get involved?
199
00:08:52,033 --> 00:08:53,132
Look, you
can catch them,
200
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,498
but you can't cook them.
Look, the guy
201
00:08:54,566 --> 00:08:56,165
doesn't have a job,
he-he's out of money,
202
00:08:56,232 --> 00:08:57,631
he doesn't have
anywhere to go, he...
203
00:08:57,699 --> 00:08:58,698
Look, people
are trying
204
00:08:58,766 --> 00:08:59,965
to kill him, and
I'm responsible.
205
00:09:00,033 --> 00:09:00,998
Oh, there you go again,
206
00:09:01,066 --> 00:09:02,665
putting the whole world
on your shoulders.
207
00:09:02,733 --> 00:09:04,665
A tree gets cut down
in the rain forest,
208
00:09:04,733 --> 00:09:05,732
and it's your fault.
209
00:09:05,799 --> 00:09:07,365
Do you even know
who this guy is?
210
00:09:07,433 --> 00:09:09,232
You don't really believe
he's a spy, do you?
211
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:10,932
No, I don't believe
he's a spy.
212
00:09:10,999 --> 00:09:13,199
I-I-I see the guy twice
in the last two days.
213
00:09:13,266 --> 00:09:14,298
That's a little
bit more
214
00:09:14,366 --> 00:09:15,532
than a coincidence,
don't you think?
215
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:16,865
Yeah, it's
a coincidence,
216
00:09:16,933 --> 00:09:18,865
but Gare, everything is a c...
(door opening)
217
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:19,865
CLIVE:
Oh, hello.
218
00:09:19,933 --> 00:09:20,865
Wouldn't happen
to have
219
00:09:20,933 --> 00:09:22,265
a washing machine handy,
would you?
220
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:23,498
Huh? Well...
221
00:09:23,566 --> 00:09:25,565
Thank you.
222
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,498
Uh, Gary, you...
223
00:09:27,566 --> 00:09:28,498
Huh?
224
00:09:28,566 --> 00:09:30,498
Oh, uh, Clive Harbison,
225
00:09:30,566 --> 00:09:32,298
this is Chuck, uh, Fishman.
226
00:09:32,366 --> 00:09:34,765
Oh. The co-manager of
the bar downstairs.
227
00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:36,132
Oh, delighted.
228
00:09:36,199 --> 00:09:37,732
Never met a bar manager
I didn't like.
229
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,731
On Her Majesty's
Secret Service, huh?
230
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,265
I beg your pardon?
231
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,932
Look, he... he can be trusted.
232
00:09:47,232 --> 00:09:48,799
Keep it under your hat.
233
00:09:48,867 --> 00:09:49,999
Oh, absolutely.
234
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:51,465
I think, if you
don't mind,
235
00:09:51,533 --> 00:09:53,265
I'll pop downstairs
for a quick pick-me-up.
236
00:09:53,333 --> 00:09:54,532
Can I get you chaps anything?
237
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,465
No, thank you.
Oh, all right.
238
00:09:56,532 --> 00:09:59,131
Um, Mr. Harbison,
how long do we have
239
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:02,199
the honor of your presence? Oh,
uh, two weeks at the outside.
240
00:10:02,266 --> 00:10:05,364
Just a question of laying low till
everything calms down.
(laughs)
241
00:10:05,433 --> 00:10:07,732
Oh, don't worry,
I have no intention of imposing.
242
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:08,965
On hangers,
243
00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:10,166
please, and, uh,
244
00:10:10,233 --> 00:10:11,298
no starch.
245
00:10:12,566 --> 00:10:14,365
(British accent):
Righto.
246
00:10:16,966 --> 00:10:18,698
You can rest easy,
Mr. Phelps.
247
00:10:18,766 --> 00:10:21,765
Your heart's going
to do just fine.
248
00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:23,565
What do you mean?
249
00:10:23,632 --> 00:10:26,333
The museum isn't interested
in your painting.
250
00:10:26,399 --> 00:10:27,732
What? Why not?
251
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,265
Because it's a fake.
252
00:10:29,332 --> 00:10:31,265
Not a bad job,
either, but...
253
00:10:31,332 --> 00:10:32,298
A fake?
254
00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:34,465
It can't be.
255
00:10:34,532 --> 00:10:36,498
One, the brushwork
is too studied.
256
00:10:36,566 --> 00:10:38,398
This is a laborious copy.
257
00:10:38,466 --> 00:10:41,366
Laistre painted in
broad, vibrant strokes.
258
00:10:41,434 --> 00:10:43,765
Especially in contrast
to the Eutra school,
259
00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:45,199
which was so popular
at the time.
260
00:10:45,266 --> 00:10:47,365
Two, the canvas
is of a manufacturer
261
00:10:47,432 --> 00:10:49,431
that wasn't available
until the 1800s.
262
00:10:49,499 --> 00:10:51,498
Laistre died
in 1660.
263
00:10:51,566 --> 00:10:54,298
And three, I happen
to have seen
264
00:10:54,366 --> 00:10:55,631
the original
of this painting.
265
00:10:55,699 --> 00:10:58,065
It hangs in a
private collection
266
00:10:58,132 --> 00:10:59,631
outside Paris.
267
00:10:59,699 --> 00:11:01,698
Oh.
268
00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:05,565
I know it may be
small comfort, Mr. Phelps,
269
00:11:05,633 --> 00:11:09,032
but many educated collectors
are taken in by forgeries.
270
00:11:09,099 --> 00:11:11,432
That's why
the Guggenheim hired me.
271
00:11:11,499 --> 00:11:12,632
You're sure?
272
00:11:12,700 --> 00:11:14,132
Positive.
273
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,832
(indistinct newscast
plays nearby)
274
00:11:16,899 --> 00:11:19,032
If the painting
gave your father pleasure,
275
00:11:19,099 --> 00:11:20,799
then it's done its job.
276
00:11:20,866 --> 00:11:24,032
I'm sorry to disappoint you.
277
00:11:24,099 --> 00:11:25,565
I'll see myself out.
278
00:11:25,633 --> 00:11:27,998
ANCHOR: ...with a fascinating
human interest story.
279
00:11:28,066 --> 00:11:29,932
REPORTER:
Local resident Clive Harbison
280
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,598
scaled down
an eight-story building
281
00:11:31,666 --> 00:11:33,732
to break into the apartment
of Mrs. Doris Redmond,
282
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,765
then helped her down,
saving her from a gas explosion.
283
00:11:36,833 --> 00:11:39,165
The apartment burst
into flames seconds after
284
00:11:39,233 --> 00:11:41,365
Mr. Harbison carried her
to safety.
285
00:11:41,433 --> 00:11:43,866
Show a little imagination.
286
00:11:43,933 --> 00:11:45,432
Imagination? You...
287
00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:48,865
you want red ceilings, peach
walls, and white molding?
288
00:11:48,933 --> 00:11:50,866
It's a statement.
289
00:11:50,933 --> 00:11:51,999
A statement?
290
00:11:52,066 --> 00:11:53,398
Yeah, it makes a
statement, all right.
291
00:11:53,466 --> 00:11:54,465
"Get out of
here fast."
292
00:11:54,532 --> 00:11:55,865
And what would you know
about that?
293
00:11:55,933 --> 00:11:58,331
It even sounds disgusting,
Chuck.
294
00:11:58,399 --> 00:12:00,332
I must say, your beef,
295
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,431
absolutely first class.
296
00:12:02,499 --> 00:12:05,432
Mmm. No mad cows here.
297
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,065
Hello. What's all this?
298
00:12:07,133 --> 00:12:09,065
Yeah, well, see, I am trying
to redecorate,
299
00:12:09,133 --> 00:12:12,298
but I am getting no help
from these two Philistines.
300
00:12:12,366 --> 00:12:14,599
What'd you have in mind?
301
00:12:14,666 --> 00:12:17,398
You know, something bold,
302
00:12:17,466 --> 00:12:19,432
something splashy.
303
00:12:19,499 --> 00:12:21,098
Tell you what.
304
00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:23,365
Why don't you let me
have a stab at it, hmm?
305
00:12:23,433 --> 00:12:25,665
I mean, least I can do,
under the circs.
306
00:12:25,733 --> 00:12:26,965
You paint?
307
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:29,532
I dabble.
308
00:12:29,599 --> 00:12:30,899
Oh!
Besides...
309
00:12:30,966 --> 00:12:33,532
I've never been one to trade
on the kindness of strangers.
310
00:12:33,599 --> 00:12:34,665
Hey, some people sing
311
00:12:34,733 --> 00:12:35,766
for their suppers.
312
00:12:35,833 --> 00:12:37,765
Why don't you let me
paint for mine?
313
00:12:39,399 --> 00:12:40,565
(elevator bell dings)
314
00:12:41,666 --> 00:12:44,598
All right, let's see now.
315
00:12:44,666 --> 00:12:47,598
1204... 1204...
316
00:12:49,033 --> 00:12:50,965
Hmm.
317
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:54,965
Here we go.
318
00:12:57,033 --> 00:12:58,965
(humming)
319
00:13:02,799 --> 00:13:04,732
(lock clicks)
Okay.
320
00:13:06,266 --> 00:13:09,199
Open sesame.
321
00:13:13,033 --> 00:13:14,965
Flown the coop, huh?
322
00:13:15,033 --> 00:13:16,965
Smart guy.
323
00:13:17,033 --> 00:13:19,965
Very smart.
324
00:13:22,166 --> 00:13:25,098
(thump)
325
00:13:25,166 --> 00:13:28,133
You can run,
but you cannot hide.
326
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,798
GARY:
Look, can't this wait?
327
00:13:29,866 --> 00:13:31,798
CHUCK: You'll want to
see this, believe me.
328
00:13:31,866 --> 00:13:34,798
The guy was up all
night painting it.
329
00:13:34,866 --> 00:13:37,199
Now, listen, I've got things
I gotta do here, Chuck.
330
00:13:37,266 --> 00:13:39,199
Voilà.
331
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,132
Mm-hmm.
332
00:13:48,033 --> 00:13:49,966
GARY:
He did all that?
333
00:13:50,033 --> 00:13:51,966
Some dabbler, huh?
334
00:13:52,033 --> 00:13:53,966
Pretty darn talented.
335
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:03,631
So you're an artist?
336
00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:05,598
Oh, no, no, I'm not an artist.
337
00:14:05,666 --> 00:14:08,264
No, my talent lies more
in the realm of imitation,
338
00:14:08,332 --> 00:14:09,598
rather than creation.
339
00:14:09,666 --> 00:14:11,431
You know, you have a real gift.
You can make
340
00:14:11,499 --> 00:14:13,432
a lot of money at this.
(laughs)
341
00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:15,432
The world of commerce had
a different opinion,
342
00:14:15,500 --> 00:14:17,598
so I turned my talents
in a different direction.
343
00:14:17,666 --> 00:14:18,632
So, what about
the, uh...
344
00:14:18,700 --> 00:14:20,732
the spy thing?
345
00:14:20,799 --> 00:14:23,398
Look, you've all been very kind.
346
00:14:23,466 --> 00:14:27,398
I-I was just trying to find some
way of repaying you, that's all.
347
00:14:27,466 --> 00:14:29,732
Let's-let's just leave it
at that, shall we?
348
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,233
And, uh, who was that guy
yesterday?
349
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:32,665
The one that tried to kill you?
350
00:14:32,733 --> 00:14:34,932
Um, uh, a business associate.
351
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,266
Well, a former business
associate.
352
00:14:38,334 --> 00:14:41,065
We had a bit of a falling out.
353
00:14:41,133 --> 00:14:43,132
Well, Gary and I have a
falling out every day,
354
00:14:43,199 --> 00:14:45,199
but I don't try and run him over
with my car.
355
00:14:45,267 --> 00:14:47,899
Yes, well, Marty's got
rather a hot temper,
356
00:14:47,966 --> 00:14:49,598
but I wouldn't worry about him.
357
00:14:49,666 --> 00:14:52,665
I mean, his-his bark is a lot
worse than his bite.
358
00:14:52,732 --> 00:14:55,631
(bullet casings pinging)
359
00:14:57,666 --> 00:14:59,598
(chuckles)
360
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:00,998
Dead meat.
361
00:15:03,167 --> 00:15:05,099
CHUCK: One minute I got
peach and white moldings,
362
00:15:05,167 --> 00:15:07,264
and the next, I'm looking
at the Sistine Chapel.
363
00:15:07,332 --> 00:15:10,298
MARISSA: Gotta hand it to him...
the man's got talent.
364
00:15:10,366 --> 00:15:13,665
CHUCK: Yeah, a regular
Renaissance man.
365
00:15:13,733 --> 00:15:16,365
Hey, where the hell
have you been?
366
00:15:16,433 --> 00:15:18,366
A chicken truck.
367
00:15:19,833 --> 00:15:21,465
What?
Chicken truck?
368
00:15:21,532 --> 00:15:24,299
At the... a school bus ran
into a chicken truck,
369
00:15:24,366 --> 00:15:27,332
and the chicken truck, it...
it's a long story.
370
00:15:27,399 --> 00:15:29,032
(hearty laughter nearby)
371
00:15:29,099 --> 00:15:30,198
Where's Clive?
372
00:15:30,266 --> 00:15:31,932
Oh, he's in the kitchen
373
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,099
teaching Mario how to
make crepes Suzette.
374
00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:35,631
Crepes Suzette?
375
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:36,699
MARISSA: Yeah,
they're really good.
376
00:15:36,766 --> 00:15:38,865
Turns out he's a gourmet
cook, too.
377
00:15:38,933 --> 00:15:41,132
You know, I think I might
get used to this guy.
378
00:15:41,199 --> 00:15:42,165
Really?
379
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:43,832
MARTY:
Gary Hobson?
380
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:45,698
Read about you
in the paper the other day.
381
00:15:45,766 --> 00:15:47,099
Where is he?
382
00:15:47,167 --> 00:15:48,165
Who?
383
00:15:48,232 --> 00:15:50,032
You know who.
CHUCK: Hey, shorty,
384
00:15:50,099 --> 00:15:52,032
we're closed, so why don't you
get on out of here, huh?
385
00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:53,932
Really?
386
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,932
Uh, come to think of it,
now we're open.
387
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,432
Do you like crepes Suzette?
388
00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,565
MARTY:
No.
389
00:15:59,633 --> 00:16:01,665
Hey, what's going on, guys?
Where is he?
390
00:16:01,733 --> 00:16:03,233
GARY:
I-I-I-I don't know.
391
00:16:03,299 --> 00:16:05,066
I... (stammers)... I don't
even really know
392
00:16:05,134 --> 00:16:06,198
who he is even.
393
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:10,865
Hmm.
394
00:16:10,933 --> 00:16:12,966
All right, I know you're here,
395
00:16:13,033 --> 00:16:14,998
you limey piece of...
396
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:27,931
Clive.
397
00:16:27,999 --> 00:16:29,399
Faye!
398
00:16:29,466 --> 00:16:30,565
(grunts)
399
00:16:30,633 --> 00:16:31,731
Oh!
400
00:16:31,799 --> 00:16:32,865
Ow!
401
00:16:33,967 --> 00:16:35,732
You don't want to get
402
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,065
between me and Clive,
you got me?
403
00:16:38,133 --> 00:16:39,899
'Cause I can't
be responsible
404
00:16:39,967 --> 00:16:41,732
for who gets caught
in the crossfire.
405
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,565
Could be you. Could be him.
406
00:16:43,633 --> 00:16:44,899
It could be her.
407
00:16:44,967 --> 00:16:46,532
We understand
each other?
408
00:16:46,599 --> 00:16:48,331
GARY: Well, now wait a second...
MARTY: Good.
409
00:16:48,399 --> 00:16:50,332
I'll be back.
410
00:16:52,033 --> 00:16:53,198
Let me guess.
411
00:16:53,266 --> 00:16:54,198
That was Marty.
412
00:16:54,266 --> 00:16:56,132
Marty.
413
00:16:56,199 --> 00:16:58,398
Faye, if you'll just let me explain...
Do I have to hit you again?
414
00:16:58,466 --> 00:17:00,832
I will, I swear.
415
00:17:00,899 --> 00:17:02,265
(muffled grunting)
416
00:17:03,833 --> 00:17:06,132
(muffled grunting)
417
00:17:08,234 --> 00:17:10,166
(moans)
418
00:17:11,833 --> 00:17:13,365
Let me go.
419
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,632
Could we talk about this inside?
420
00:17:17,799 --> 00:17:20,398
(sighs)
421
00:17:20,466 --> 00:17:22,232
I wish Crumb were here.
422
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:23,399
He'd know what to do.
423
00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:24,765
Well, can we
contact him?
424
00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:26,032
Uh, no, you can't,
425
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:28,099
because Crumb
is on a river
426
00:17:28,167 --> 00:17:29,598
in Montana.
Sleeping in tents.
427
00:17:29,666 --> 00:17:31,298
CLIVE: How the devil
did you find me?
428
00:17:31,365 --> 00:17:32,998
I went looking
for Gary Hobson.
429
00:17:33,066 --> 00:17:35,032
The paper said he assisted you.
Oh.
430
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:37,599
Hello, Clive.
431
00:17:37,666 --> 00:17:40,099
Hi. Uh, Charles,
Gary, Marissa,
432
00:17:40,166 --> 00:17:42,099
um... I have a friend
to introduce.
433
00:17:42,166 --> 00:17:43,632
This lovely young
thing...
434
00:17:45,766 --> 00:17:47,398
(gasps)
435
00:17:47,466 --> 00:17:49,198
...is Faye Davis.
436
00:17:49,266 --> 00:17:51,066
CHUCK: I gotta hand
it to you, Clive.
437
00:17:51,133 --> 00:17:53,099
You got a devoted
bunch of friends.
438
00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:54,331
FAYE:
I am not his friend.
439
00:17:54,399 --> 00:17:56,331
Nor am I a young thing.
440
00:17:56,399 --> 00:17:58,832
Listen to me, you patronizing,
double-dealing four-flusher,
441
00:17:58,900 --> 00:18:00,364
you will finish
what you started,
442
00:18:00,432 --> 00:18:02,698
or I'll see you behind
bars, I swear it. Faye...
443
00:18:02,766 --> 00:18:04,232
Don't "Faye" me.
Faye...
444
00:18:04,299 --> 00:18:05,632
You've got till Friday.
Faye...
445
00:18:05,699 --> 00:18:07,465
If that painting isn't
back where it belongs,
446
00:18:07,533 --> 00:18:09,132
I will find you and personally
447
00:18:09,199 --> 00:18:11,832
nail your sorry hide
to the wall.
448
00:18:12,899 --> 00:18:15,132
Nice meeting you.
449
00:18:17,866 --> 00:18:20,932
Lovely woman.
450
00:18:22,466 --> 00:18:23,398
(door slams)
451
00:18:23,466 --> 00:18:25,932
Absolutely no sense of humor.
452
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,465
You want to explain?
453
00:18:28,532 --> 00:18:30,631
Oh, now listen, Hobbers...
No, no.
454
00:18:30,699 --> 00:18:32,265
Wait a second. Don't-don't
call me Hobbers either.
455
00:18:32,333 --> 00:18:33,665
Let me tell you something.
The last two days,
456
00:18:33,732 --> 00:18:35,299
I've had a gun stuck
in my nose,
457
00:18:35,367 --> 00:18:37,032
I've been shot at
and almost ran over.
458
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:39,865
So now, why don't you try
to explain right now?
459
00:18:39,933 --> 00:18:41,865
I suppose you're right.
Yeah.
460
00:18:41,932 --> 00:18:43,865
And the-the truth, Clive.
461
00:18:43,933 --> 00:18:46,865
The whole, and, uh,
nothing but...
462
00:18:46,933 --> 00:18:48,865
so help me God.
463
00:18:48,933 --> 00:18:51,665
Oh, Lord, but
that woman can hit.
464
00:18:52,766 --> 00:18:54,665
We're waiting.
465
00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:56,332
Oh, yes. Right.
466
00:18:56,399 --> 00:18:58,332
Well, um, let me take you
back to London.
467
00:18:58,399 --> 00:18:59,832
The swinging '60s.
468
00:18:59,899 --> 00:19:03,398
Home of penniless young art
student Clive Harbison.
469
00:19:03,466 --> 00:19:05,665
Night in, night out,
470
00:19:05,732 --> 00:19:08,165
he would toil diligently
in his Chelsea studio
471
00:19:08,232 --> 00:19:10,165
to hone his craft...
472
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:12,998
to summon forth art
from the chaos.
473
00:19:13,066 --> 00:19:15,165
His paintings were received
politely,
474
00:19:15,232 --> 00:19:17,198
but something was missing.
475
00:19:17,266 --> 00:19:19,333
All too quickly he recognized
his own limitations.
476
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,966
No fresh ideas, no originality.
477
00:19:22,033 --> 00:19:24,966
His real gift was for mimicry.
478
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,631
In copying the masters,
479
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:29,132
it was as if the spirit
of the artist entered into him.
480
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,966
He could reproduce their works
481
00:19:31,033 --> 00:19:33,966
with uncanny accuracy
and understanding.
482
00:19:34,033 --> 00:19:36,132
And once that gift was
recognized,
483
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,498
our young hero's life took a...
484
00:19:38,566 --> 00:19:41,498
a somewhat unusual turn.
485
00:19:41,566 --> 00:19:44,099
Many a man's vices have
been nothing worse
486
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:46,099
than good qualities run wild.
487
00:19:46,167 --> 00:19:48,699
So it was with the brilliant
new art thief,
488
00:19:48,766 --> 00:19:50,699
who came to be known
as the Chameleon.
489
00:19:50,766 --> 00:19:52,132
CHUCK:
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
490
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,165
Let me get this
straight.
491
00:19:53,233 --> 00:19:54,732
You steal a famous
painting,
492
00:19:54,799 --> 00:19:56,765
you replace it
with a copy,
493
00:19:56,833 --> 00:19:58,765
and no one ever
found out?
494
00:19:58,833 --> 00:20:01,032
Well, in some cases,
the curators know,
495
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,632
but they're too embarrassed
to admit
496
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,065
they've got a forgery
on their walls.
497
00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:05,832
So, how'd you get mixed up
with Marty?
498
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,332
Marty, yes.
499
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,432
Well, despite his
boorish manners,
500
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:12,265
Marty Jarmisch was plugged in
to a certain strata
501
00:20:12,333 --> 00:20:13,832
of modern day robber barons,
502
00:20:13,899 --> 00:20:16,798
who would gladly overpay
for a piece of artwork
503
00:20:16,866 --> 00:20:19,832
they could never publicly
display or even acknowledge.
504
00:20:19,899 --> 00:20:21,332
Well, what about
your conscience?
505
00:20:21,399 --> 00:20:22,599
Didn't that bother you?
506
00:20:22,666 --> 00:20:24,398
My conscience?
507
00:20:24,465 --> 00:20:27,732
Um, yes, well, it tugged
a bit...
508
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,265
on occasions.
509
00:20:29,333 --> 00:20:31,865
But I was young,
Marissa.
510
00:20:31,933 --> 00:20:33,298
Intoxicated with the good life.
511
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:35,898
Besides, I figured if my
copies were fooling
512
00:20:35,966 --> 00:20:38,899
the experts, then the public
wasn't really losing out.
513
00:20:38,967 --> 00:20:41,865
Anyway, what were my sins
compared with those
514
00:20:41,933 --> 00:20:43,531
who were underwriting my career?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
515
00:20:43,599 --> 00:20:45,732
So then what happened, Clive?
516
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,732
Yeah, well, all good things
come to an end.
517
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,732
And one hot summer night
in Torremolinos,
518
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,732
Marty blundered.
519
00:20:55,033 --> 00:20:56,965
In a rare fit of generosity,
520
00:20:57,033 --> 00:20:59,965
he made a gift to a dark lady
of his acquaintance...
521
00:21:00,033 --> 00:21:02,366
a watercolor by Goya...
What's this?
522
00:21:02,433 --> 00:21:06,199
...recently liberated by yours
truly from a nearby villa.
523
00:21:06,267 --> 00:21:07,932
What's this? What...
524
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,065
Unfortunately,
the police were onto the theft,
525
00:21:10,133 --> 00:21:11,199
and caught him red-handed.
526
00:21:11,267 --> 00:21:12,532
Poor Marty.
527
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,032
He took the fall,
instead of me.
528
00:21:15,100 --> 00:21:18,032
Ah, the vicissitudes
of fortune.
529
00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:19,565
Mmm.
530
00:21:19,633 --> 00:21:22,565
How the wheel turns.
531
00:21:22,633 --> 00:21:24,899
Somehow, the years passed,
and I found myself in Chicago,
532
00:21:24,966 --> 00:21:26,465
where a local businessman
533
00:21:26,533 --> 00:21:29,465
who'd made an illegal fortune
through insider trading,
534
00:21:29,533 --> 00:21:31,131
expressed keen interest
535
00:21:31,199 --> 00:21:33,899
in a Vincent Van Gogh
he'd long admired.
536
00:21:33,967 --> 00:21:36,898
In the course of researching
the assignment,
537
00:21:36,967 --> 00:21:40,066
I met a young woman
by the name of Faye Davis,
538
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:43,232
recently employed as a curator
of the museum.
539
00:21:46,967 --> 00:21:50,698
Drawn together by a mutual
interest in art,
540
00:21:50,766 --> 00:21:54,366
we soon developed
a warm friendship.
541
00:21:54,434 --> 00:21:57,199
Faye knew nothing
of my chosen profession.
542
00:21:57,267 --> 00:22:00,199
I pulled off the Van Gogh job
without a hitch.
543
00:22:00,267 --> 00:22:02,265
Unfortunately, I hadn't counted
544
00:22:02,333 --> 00:22:04,965
on Faye's expertise.
545
00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:07,465
She detected the forgery,
546
00:22:07,532 --> 00:22:10,465
put two and two together,
and came up with me.
547
00:22:10,532 --> 00:22:12,498
We talked things over...
548
00:22:12,566 --> 00:22:14,498
No, don't throw that!
...and I solemnly undertook
549
00:22:14,566 --> 00:22:15,599
to mend my ways.
550
00:22:15,666 --> 00:22:17,399
To wit, to return the painting,
551
00:22:17,467 --> 00:22:21,166
give up crime, and make an
honest woman out of Faye.
552
00:22:21,232 --> 00:22:22,865
Or perhaps I should say,
allow her
553
00:22:22,933 --> 00:22:24,498
to make an honest man
out of me.
554
00:22:24,566 --> 00:22:26,565
MARISSA:
So, you were gonna
555
00:22:26,632 --> 00:22:28,665
marry her?
What else could
I do?
556
00:22:28,733 --> 00:22:30,998
I'd finally met my match.
CHUCK: But you got
557
00:22:31,066 --> 00:22:32,066
cold feet.
558
00:22:32,133 --> 00:22:33,698
Uh, well, not exactly.
559
00:22:33,766 --> 00:22:35,198
So, she got
cold feet.
560
00:22:35,265 --> 00:22:36,598
If you'd just let me finish.
561
00:22:36,666 --> 00:22:38,099
Let him finish.
562
00:22:38,166 --> 00:22:40,099
Finish.
563
00:22:40,166 --> 00:22:42,599
CLIVE: I set out to retrieve the
van Gogh from its new owner.
564
00:22:42,666 --> 00:22:44,932
I told Faye to meet me
at the museum at midnight,
565
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,265
when who should come crawling
out of the upholstery, but...
566
00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:48,665
Say good-bye,
Clive!
567
00:22:48,733 --> 00:22:50,298
...my old pal.
(gun clicks)
568
00:22:50,366 --> 00:22:52,431
Somewhat the worse for wear
after three years
569
00:22:52,499 --> 00:22:54,032
in a Spanish prison,
570
00:22:54,099 --> 00:22:57,532
Marty was in an extremely
truculent state of mind.
571
00:22:57,599 --> 00:23:01,932
Yes. Anyway, my quick wit
saved mefrom a grizzly fate.
572
00:23:01,999 --> 00:23:04,765
I had to disappear double
quick, and Faye...
573
00:23:04,833 --> 00:23:07,265
poor Faye... was left
in the lurch,
574
00:23:07,333 --> 00:23:10,598
feeling betrayed and abandoned.
575
00:23:10,666 --> 00:23:12,898
So you never contacted her?
576
00:23:12,966 --> 00:23:16,265
What can I say that
she'd ever believe?
577
00:23:16,333 --> 00:23:18,265
Hell hath no
fury, and all that.
578
00:23:18,333 --> 00:23:22,465
Besides, I figured that fate
was trying to tell me something.
579
00:23:22,533 --> 00:23:24,632
That it was too late to change.
580
00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:26,099
You know, once a thief...
581
00:23:26,167 --> 00:23:28,932
And-And so... so how
long ago was this, Clive?
582
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,098
Three years.
583
00:23:30,166 --> 00:23:32,232
Yeah, I laid low
in a variety of countries.
584
00:23:32,299 --> 00:23:33,665
Finally made it back here
585
00:23:33,733 --> 00:23:36,298
to the one place I figured
they wouldn't look for me...
586
00:23:36,366 --> 00:23:37,698
the scene of the crime.
587
00:23:37,766 --> 00:23:40,899
I made a living
painting portraits.
588
00:23:40,966 --> 00:23:42,865
Children, mostly.
589
00:23:42,933 --> 00:23:45,965
I was beginning to think
I'd put my past behind me.
590
00:23:46,033 --> 00:23:47,765
And then we ran into each other.
591
00:23:47,833 --> 00:23:49,598
Yes, well, no regrets there.
592
00:23:49,666 --> 00:23:52,398
Saving Doris
593
00:23:52,466 --> 00:23:54,999
is one of the few acts
I can look back on
594
00:23:55,066 --> 00:23:56,265
with unabashed pride.
595
00:23:56,333 --> 00:23:58,299
I should be grateful
to you, old man.
596
00:23:58,367 --> 00:24:00,132
Let me get this straight.
597
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,966
This museum has
your Van Gogh.
598
00:24:03,033 --> 00:24:06,665
So where is Van Gogh's
Van Gogh?
599
00:24:06,733 --> 00:24:10,398
Well, actually, not very far
from here, in a private home.
600
00:24:10,466 --> 00:24:12,899
So, now what?
601
00:24:12,967 --> 00:24:15,398
Oh, I would have thought
that was obvious.
602
00:24:15,466 --> 00:24:18,698
I retrieve the picture,
and I replace it in the museum.
603
00:24:18,766 --> 00:24:21,398
It's either that
or face the fury of Faye Davis,
604
00:24:21,466 --> 00:24:23,265
which is a fate
I'd rather avoid.
605
00:24:23,333 --> 00:24:25,098
Hmm.
So, you're gon...
606
00:24:25,166 --> 00:24:26,999
You're gonna steal
that painting?
607
00:24:27,066 --> 00:24:28,465
In a nutshell, yes.
608
00:24:28,532 --> 00:24:30,632
And not to
worry, Hobbers.
609
00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:32,232
I may be out of practice,
610
00:24:32,299 --> 00:24:34,898
but this larceny business
is like riding a bicycle.
611
00:24:34,966 --> 00:24:36,565
Ah. Ooh, I'd better go.
612
00:24:36,633 --> 00:24:38,665
A lot of work to do.
613
00:24:40,632 --> 00:24:41,731
Hmm.
614
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,731
(British accent):
Not to worry, Hobbers.
615
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,832
(meowing)
616
00:24:46,899 --> 00:24:49,832
How many times I told you,
this is my chair?
617
00:24:49,899 --> 00:24:52,198
(trains rattling in distance)
618
00:25:00,033 --> 00:25:03,332
"Thief mauled by guard dogs.
Arrested."
619
00:25:03,399 --> 00:25:06,165
(barking)
620
00:25:20,166 --> 00:25:21,798
MARISSA: You don't want to help him?
GARY: Help him?
621
00:25:21,866 --> 00:25:25,032
The guy's a crook.
But a nice crook.
He has a good heart, Gary.
622
00:25:25,100 --> 00:25:27,332
He just went down the wrong road
for a while.
623
00:25:27,399 --> 00:25:28,665
He went down the...
624
00:25:28,733 --> 00:25:30,932
He's been down the same
wrong road for 20 years now.
625
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,398
But it was
for a good cause.
626
00:25:32,466 --> 00:25:34,066
Yeah. Something like, uh,
627
00:25:34,132 --> 00:25:36,366
stealing from the rich
to enlighten the poor.
628
00:25:36,433 --> 00:25:38,498
MARISSA: Look, you'd be
giving him a chance to redeem
629
00:25:38,566 --> 00:25:42,232
himself, to start over again,
and do something with his life.
630
00:25:42,300 --> 00:25:45,299
Redeem... What you two want me
to do is, you want me,
631
00:25:45,366 --> 00:25:47,765
with a known felon, to break
into a private residence
632
00:25:47,833 --> 00:25:49,665
and steal a painting!
633
00:25:49,732 --> 00:25:52,398
A stolen painting
that was illegally obtained
634
00:25:52,466 --> 00:25:55,832
by a guy who made millions
cheating in the stock market.
635
00:25:57,234 --> 00:25:58,798
You want to take my car?
636
00:26:00,766 --> 00:26:03,099
(barking)
637
00:26:03,167 --> 00:26:05,298
Shh, shh.
638
00:26:05,365 --> 00:26:09,232
This... This is what comes of
hasty research.
639
00:26:09,300 --> 00:26:10,765
(barking)
640
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,098
CHUCK:
Are you hungry, pup?
641
00:26:17,166 --> 00:26:18,531
Nice doggie.
(grunting)
642
00:26:18,599 --> 00:26:19,699
What was that?
643
00:26:19,766 --> 00:26:21,132
Sleeping pills.
644
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:22,732
Good Lord.
645
00:26:22,799 --> 00:26:24,498
(quiet growl)
646
00:26:24,566 --> 00:26:25,965
CHUCK: Good boy.
Huh?
647
00:26:26,033 --> 00:26:28,066
Nice doggie.
(dog whining)
648
00:26:28,133 --> 00:26:30,632
(Chuck sighs)
649
00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:32,298
Ha! That was quick.
650
00:26:32,365 --> 00:26:34,166
Well, I'm-I'm much obliged
to you chaps.
651
00:26:34,232 --> 00:26:36,265
But how on earth
did you find me?
652
00:26:36,333 --> 00:26:39,465
Well, uh, I-I
read an article.
653
00:26:39,532 --> 00:26:41,465
Uh, the ten richest
guys in Chicago,
654
00:26:41,532 --> 00:26:44,266
and, uh, three of 'em happened
to be art buffs, so the, uh...
655
00:26:44,334 --> 00:26:45,998
We went to the, uh,
first two houses
656
00:26:46,066 --> 00:26:47,531
earlier, which is why
we were late.
657
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,199
Yeah, but what about the dog?
658
00:26:50,300 --> 00:26:52,332
Dog was in the article.
659
00:26:52,399 --> 00:26:54,698
Oh, I see.
660
00:26:54,766 --> 00:26:57,166
Oh, right. Well,
661
00:26:57,233 --> 00:26:58,766
I'll be off then.
662
00:26:58,833 --> 00:26:59,999
All right. Yeah.
663
00:27:00,067 --> 00:27:01,732
Good hunting.
664
00:27:01,799 --> 00:27:02,999
(mumbles)
665
00:27:03,066 --> 00:27:04,565
Let's go.
Hey.
666
00:27:04,632 --> 00:27:06,065
Ah, come on.
667
00:27:06,133 --> 00:27:07,432
Wait a minute.
668
00:27:07,500 --> 00:27:08,632
You're not going anywhere.
669
00:27:08,700 --> 00:27:09,831
Look at this.
670
00:27:09,899 --> 00:27:11,098
(Chuck panting)
671
00:27:11,166 --> 00:27:14,098
GARY:
Oh, for Pete's sake.
672
00:27:15,666 --> 00:27:17,331
Oh.
673
00:27:17,399 --> 00:27:19,332
(clock chimes playing tune)
674
00:27:22,466 --> 00:27:24,465
Clive, don't do that!
675
00:27:24,532 --> 00:27:25,599
Huh?
676
00:27:25,666 --> 00:27:27,565
(gasps)
677
00:27:27,633 --> 00:27:28,965
Now what?
678
00:27:29,033 --> 00:27:30,165
The-The painting...
679
00:27:30,232 --> 00:27:31,532
there's-there's
a, uh... uh...
680
00:27:31,599 --> 00:27:33,598
Passive infrared
motion detector.
681
00:27:33,666 --> 00:27:35,565
What?
682
00:27:37,632 --> 00:27:39,099
Good Lord, you're right.
683
00:27:39,167 --> 00:27:40,832
God, a crafty beggar.
684
00:27:40,900 --> 00:27:42,032
Yeah.
685
00:27:42,099 --> 00:27:43,632
Yeah, but how on earth
did you find that out?
686
00:27:43,700 --> 00:27:46,099
Uh, the article.
687
00:27:46,167 --> 00:27:49,732
That is one
well-researched story.
688
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,032
All right, this is gonna take
some careful maneuvering.
689
00:27:52,099 --> 00:27:54,765
All right, steady
on, old man.
690
00:27:54,833 --> 00:27:56,365
Cool and calm.
691
00:28:00,333 --> 00:28:01,265
(sighs)
692
00:28:01,333 --> 00:28:02,698
CHUCK:
Hey, check it out.
693
00:28:06,566 --> 00:28:11,731
Gare, they got an autographed
Michael Jordan sneaker.
694
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,899
All right, steady as you go.
No sudden moves.
695
00:28:13,966 --> 00:28:15,133
CHUCK:
You know,
696
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,132
I think these are the very
same shoes he wore against
697
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:18,565
the Jazz
in the finals.
698
00:28:18,632 --> 00:28:20,831
I can practically smell
the sweat from here.
699
00:28:20,899 --> 00:28:22,799
(gasps)
Got it.
700
00:28:23,900 --> 00:28:26,264
(loud beeping)
701
00:28:28,633 --> 00:28:30,499
Oh, brilliant!
702
00:28:30,566 --> 00:28:31,465
What do we do now?
703
00:28:31,532 --> 00:28:32,532
Run away!
704
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:33,532
Run away!
705
00:28:37,399 --> 00:28:39,665
CLIVE:
Uh, uh, uh!
706
00:28:39,732 --> 00:28:41,365
Don't touch,
old man.
707
00:28:41,433 --> 00:28:45,299
So, uh, this is an original
Van Gogh, huh?
708
00:28:45,366 --> 00:28:47,465
How much is a thing
like this worth?
709
00:28:47,533 --> 00:28:50,299
On the open market, something
upwards of $30 million.
710
00:28:50,367 --> 00:28:52,199
$30 million?
711
00:28:52,266 --> 00:28:54,331
For something like this?
712
00:28:54,399 --> 00:28:56,231
Guy can't even stay
inside the lines.
713
00:28:56,299 --> 00:28:57,398
(chuckles)
714
00:28:57,466 --> 00:28:59,065
Right. Now for that museum.
715
00:28:59,133 --> 00:29:00,498
This could be tricky.
716
00:29:00,566 --> 00:29:02,865
Um, I might need some help here.
717
00:29:02,933 --> 00:29:04,099
CHUCK:
Help?
718
00:29:04,167 --> 00:29:05,299
Some help with what?
719
00:29:05,366 --> 00:29:06,632
Oh, well, nothing elaborate,
Hobbers.
720
00:29:06,700 --> 00:29:08,531
And this time,
there won't be any dogs.
721
00:29:08,599 --> 00:29:09,999
Yeah, yeah. Let me
tell you something.
722
00:29:10,066 --> 00:29:11,532
First of all,
my name's not Hobbers,
723
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:13,832
and second of all,
they don't have dogs at museums.
724
00:29:13,899 --> 00:29:15,065
They-They've got guards
with guns.
725
00:29:15,133 --> 00:29:17,132
MARISSA:
Clive, why don't
726
00:29:17,199 --> 00:29:19,065
you just turn
the painting over
727
00:29:19,133 --> 00:29:21,132
to the police
anonymously or something?
728
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:22,298
No, I can't do it, dear.
729
00:29:22,366 --> 00:29:23,464
There's Faye to consider.
730
00:29:23,532 --> 00:29:24,799
Faye?
731
00:29:24,867 --> 00:29:26,032
Yes.
732
00:29:26,100 --> 00:29:27,266
Oh, didn't I tell you?
733
00:29:27,333 --> 00:29:29,199
She was the curator
of the museum
734
00:29:29,267 --> 00:29:30,799
when I stole the Van Gogh.
735
00:29:30,867 --> 00:29:33,299
And if it came out that the
museum had accepted a piece
736
00:29:33,367 --> 00:29:36,032
of forged art
while she was on watch, so
737
00:29:36,100 --> 00:29:38,365
to speak... well, it would
just ruin her reputation.
738
00:29:38,433 --> 00:29:39,698
(door opening)
739
00:29:39,766 --> 00:29:42,965
No. The only way I can
put these things right is
740
00:29:43,033 --> 00:29:44,498
to break
into that museum myself
741
00:29:44,566 --> 00:29:46,531
and replace the painting.
742
00:29:46,599 --> 00:29:48,765
How are plans shaping up?
743
00:29:48,833 --> 00:29:50,631
Faye. Talk of the devil.
744
00:29:50,699 --> 00:29:51,965
Faye.
745
00:29:52,033 --> 00:29:55,364
My God...
you did it.
746
00:29:55,432 --> 00:29:57,799
Uh, the first part, yes.
747
00:29:57,867 --> 00:30:00,398
Uh, Faye, could we
talk out there?
748
00:30:00,465 --> 00:30:01,598
Fantastic.
749
00:30:01,666 --> 00:30:02,799
Yeah, isn't it just?
750
00:30:02,867 --> 00:30:04,065
Would you excuse us?
751
00:30:04,133 --> 00:30:05,765
Sure. Um, make
yourselves at home.
752
00:30:05,833 --> 00:30:07,798
CLIVE:
Uh, just through here.
753
00:30:07,866 --> 00:30:10,232
What are you
doing here?
754
00:30:10,300 --> 00:30:11,399
Isn't it obvious?
755
00:30:11,466 --> 00:30:12,732
Keeping an eye on you.
756
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:14,065
No need for that.
757
00:30:14,133 --> 00:30:15,632
I gave you my word.
(laughs)
758
00:30:15,700 --> 00:30:16,932
Yes, well,
759
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,765
we both know
what that's worth, don't we?
760
00:30:20,833 --> 00:30:22,798
(sighs)
761
00:30:22,867 --> 00:30:25,099
Uh, Faye, about that night...
762
00:30:25,167 --> 00:30:27,032
I, uh...
763
00:30:27,100 --> 00:30:28,865
What?
764
00:30:30,933 --> 00:30:32,832
Nothing.
765
00:30:34,933 --> 00:30:37,665
Never would have worked, anyway.
766
00:30:39,465 --> 00:30:42,232
Yeah, well, that's all blood
under the bridge, isn't it?
767
00:30:42,299 --> 00:30:44,631
So, how are you getting on
in New York?
768
00:30:44,699 --> 00:30:46,332
Guggenheim still
treating you well?
769
00:30:46,399 --> 00:30:49,932
How did you know I was working
at the Guggenheim?
770
00:30:49,999 --> 00:30:51,665
I like to keep my hand in.
771
00:30:51,733 --> 00:30:53,098
You've had several offers.
772
00:30:53,166 --> 00:30:54,732
I understand the
Getty wanted you.
773
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,065
Palm trees and smog?
774
00:30:57,133 --> 00:30:58,431
Forget it.
775
00:30:58,499 --> 00:31:01,165
You always were a snob.
776
00:31:03,233 --> 00:31:05,166
You're looking
well, Faye.
777
00:31:06,566 --> 00:31:08,498
Mm, don't.
778
00:31:10,699 --> 00:31:12,798
I never stopped
thinking about you.
779
00:31:12,866 --> 00:31:15,632
Not ever.
780
00:31:25,733 --> 00:31:27,298
Ow.
781
00:31:28,966 --> 00:31:31,232
Didn't know you still cared.
782
00:31:31,300 --> 00:31:32,665
Don't flatter yourself.
783
00:31:32,733 --> 00:31:35,065
I stopped thinking about
you a long time ago.
784
00:31:35,133 --> 00:31:37,398
Faye, you are a terrible liar.
785
00:31:37,466 --> 00:31:39,199
Not as big
as you are.
786
00:31:39,266 --> 00:31:40,765
You had a
gift, Clive.
787
00:31:40,833 --> 00:31:42,431
You turned your
back on it.
788
00:31:42,499 --> 00:31:44,598
I'm a copyist,
789
00:31:44,666 --> 00:31:46,598
a mimic, that's all.
790
00:31:48,766 --> 00:31:51,298
Maybe you are just a thief.
791
00:31:57,566 --> 00:32:00,698
So, what time
do we start?
792
00:32:00,766 --> 00:32:02,066
(door opening)
793
00:32:02,133 --> 00:32:04,498
(door closing)
794
00:32:04,566 --> 00:32:07,498
(indistinct conversation)
795
00:32:25,133 --> 00:32:27,065
(indistinct conversations)
796
00:32:53,166 --> 00:32:54,198
(click)
797
00:32:58,133 --> 00:33:00,132
(Chuck whistling)
798
00:33:02,933 --> 00:33:05,632
(indistinct conversation)
799
00:33:05,699 --> 00:33:07,365
That's quite
all right...
800
00:33:07,433 --> 00:33:09,932
(resuming conversation)
801
00:33:36,066 --> 00:33:37,565
I can't believe
I'm doing this.
802
00:33:37,633 --> 00:33:40,599
Yeah. It's like the blind
leading the blind, huh?
803
00:33:40,666 --> 00:33:42,465
(laughing)
Oh!
804
00:33:42,533 --> 00:33:44,631
Ten minutes.
805
00:33:44,699 --> 00:33:46,598
Everybody understand
their roles?
806
00:33:46,666 --> 00:33:48,598
Yes, sir.
807
00:33:48,666 --> 00:33:50,598
We go to the museum,
808
00:33:50,666 --> 00:33:52,932
we fall to pieces,
and we get arrested.
809
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,465
Steady on, Charles.
810
00:33:54,533 --> 00:33:55,965
Just do as we rehearsed.
811
00:33:56,033 --> 00:33:58,165
Everything will work out
like clockwork.
812
00:33:58,233 --> 00:33:59,598
Everything is under control.
813
00:33:59,666 --> 00:34:02,531
Well, not everything.
814
00:34:02,599 --> 00:34:05,199
Ooh, what is this,
a private party?
815
00:34:05,267 --> 00:34:07,166
Or is anyone welcome?
816
00:34:18,732 --> 00:34:20,498
CLIVE:
Look, Marty, let her go.
817
00:34:20,565 --> 00:34:22,665
Just take me in her place,
all right?
818
00:34:22,733 --> 00:34:24,999
Trade her life for
yours? (laughs)
819
00:34:25,067 --> 00:34:26,499
Yeah.
Lady,
820
00:34:26,566 --> 00:34:27,865
I think you've
just been insulted.
821
00:34:27,933 --> 00:34:29,232
What do
you want,
822
00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:30,264
Marty?
823
00:34:30,332 --> 00:34:32,365
Well, now,
what could it possibly be?
824
00:34:32,432 --> 00:34:33,698
All right,
let's see.
825
00:34:33,766 --> 00:34:37,765
Um, her life
for the keys to your car...
826
00:34:37,833 --> 00:34:38,865
No, no.
827
00:34:38,933 --> 00:34:42,199
Uh, her life
for a certain piece of art?
828
00:34:42,267 --> 00:34:43,199
Getting
warmer.
829
00:34:43,267 --> 00:34:44,865
Her life
830
00:34:44,933 --> 00:34:48,932
for a certain
$30 million piece of art?
831
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,266
Ah, now we're getting hot.
832
00:34:51,333 --> 00:34:53,298
Hot.
833
00:35:01,633 --> 00:35:02,498
Clive.
834
00:35:02,566 --> 00:35:04,198
Here, Marty,
take it, it's yours.
835
00:35:04,265 --> 00:35:05,199
Just go.
836
00:35:06,134 --> 00:35:07,232
MARTY:
Uh-huh.
837
00:35:07,300 --> 00:35:08,498
Uh-huh,
I see.
838
00:35:08,566 --> 00:35:10,966
Her life for a fake Van Gogh.
839
00:35:11,033 --> 00:35:13,731
Now, that's what I call
a real smart trade.
840
00:35:13,799 --> 00:35:15,965
Yeah, but see, the thing is,
Marty, it's not a fake.
841
00:35:16,033 --> 00:35:17,066
It's the real thing.
842
00:35:17,134 --> 00:35:18,331
Ooh, right, right,
843
00:35:18,399 --> 00:35:20,364
and you guys have gone
and you've formulated
844
00:35:20,432 --> 00:35:24,065
this incredibly elaborate plan
to steal the fake.
845
00:35:24,133 --> 00:35:25,331
Yeah.
That makes
846
00:35:25,399 --> 00:35:26,966
perfect sense to me.
847
00:35:28,633 --> 00:35:29,565
Marty...
848
00:35:29,633 --> 00:35:30,565
One more word
849
00:35:30,633 --> 00:35:32,298
out of you, she's toast.
850
00:35:32,366 --> 00:35:33,965
Now, let's get this show
on the road.
851
00:35:34,033 --> 00:35:36,299
Shake it.
852
00:35:36,367 --> 00:35:38,399
You know, I'm sure you've got
a great plan, Clive.
853
00:35:38,466 --> 00:35:40,499
Tell me all about it
on the way.
854
00:35:40,566 --> 00:35:42,132
Move it, let's go.
855
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,932
You're not going to need
a paper where we're going.
856
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:46,465
Shake it.
857
00:35:54,066 --> 00:35:55,998
It's showtime.
858
00:35:56,066 --> 00:35:57,432
CLIVE:
Marty, would you listen to me?
859
00:35:57,499 --> 00:36:00,266
Now, these people are
innocent.
860
00:36:00,334 --> 00:36:02,365
The only reason
they're involved is
861
00:36:02,433 --> 00:36:05,899
because of a remarkable sense
of friendship and decency.
862
00:36:05,966 --> 00:36:09,999
Now, come on, Marty,
let them go, I implore you.
863
00:36:10,066 --> 00:36:13,699
Look, I'll get you
the Van Gogh myself,
864
00:36:13,766 --> 00:36:15,999
or I'll,
I'll turn myself in...
865
00:36:16,067 --> 00:36:17,299
whatever you want.
866
00:36:17,367 --> 00:36:20,332
Your recent conversion to
sainthood is truly touching,
867
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:23,565
Clive, but what's beginning
to really bug me is
868
00:36:23,633 --> 00:36:25,498
how stupid you
think I am.
869
00:36:27,433 --> 00:36:28,832
Now, let's get going.
870
00:36:28,900 --> 00:36:31,632
(sighing):
Well... let's go, Marissa.
871
00:36:31,699 --> 00:36:33,832
All right.
Phase one.
872
00:36:33,900 --> 00:36:36,032
Nice try.
873
00:36:40,832 --> 00:36:44,032
Excuse me, Miss, we
close in five minutes.
874
00:36:44,100 --> 00:36:46,232
Oh, thank you.
875
00:36:46,300 --> 00:36:49,065
I couldn't help
noticing, but...
876
00:36:49,133 --> 00:36:50,166
You were wondering
877
00:36:50,233 --> 00:36:52,999
what a blind person is doing
in an art museum.
878
00:36:53,067 --> 00:36:54,966
Frankly, yes.
879
00:36:55,033 --> 00:36:56,898
You may find this
hard to believe,
880
00:36:56,966 --> 00:37:00,498
but, um, sometimes
I can feel the painting.
881
00:37:00,566 --> 00:37:03,165
Some of these works
exude such a,
882
00:37:03,232 --> 00:37:05,032
such an aura,
I can sense
883
00:37:05,099 --> 00:37:08,265
the color and the form
right off the canvas.
884
00:37:08,333 --> 00:37:09,631
Wow.
885
00:37:09,699 --> 00:37:12,032
Kind of a
metaphysical thing?
886
00:37:12,100 --> 00:37:14,132
Exactly.
887
00:37:14,199 --> 00:37:16,798
As a matter of fact,
sometimes I get so inspired,
888
00:37:16,866 --> 00:37:18,532
I do a little painting
myself.
889
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:19,565
Amazing.
890
00:37:19,633 --> 00:37:22,431
It is, isn't it?
891
00:37:22,499 --> 00:37:25,132
Well, I, uh,
have to call for my ride.
892
00:37:25,199 --> 00:37:26,365
Could you point me
to the...?
893
00:37:26,433 --> 00:37:29,299
Oh, yes, phones are down
the hall on the left.
894
00:37:29,367 --> 00:37:30,631
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
895
00:37:30,699 --> 00:37:32,699
Oh...
896
00:37:32,766 --> 00:37:34,732
Oh.
897
00:37:34,799 --> 00:37:35,865
"Feel the painting."
898
00:37:35,933 --> 00:37:36,865
Oh, brother.
899
00:37:40,500 --> 00:37:43,466
ANNOUNCER: The museum will
be closing in five minutes.
900
00:37:45,766 --> 00:37:47,699
(sighs)
901
00:37:47,767 --> 00:37:49,132
Listen, Faye,
this may not be
902
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:50,731
the most opportune time
to say this,
903
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:54,166
but I meant everything
I said back at the bar.
904
00:37:55,267 --> 00:37:57,632
I never stopped
thinking about you...
905
00:37:57,699 --> 00:37:59,765
never...
906
00:37:59,833 --> 00:38:02,932
and I, I just...
907
00:38:03,999 --> 00:38:05,665
Me, too.
908
00:38:05,733 --> 00:38:08,133
MARTY: I think I
need a hanky here.
909
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:11,298
No more mush, or
I plug her now.
910
00:38:32,334 --> 00:38:35,798
ANNOUNCER:
The museum is now closed.
911
00:38:51,033 --> 00:38:53,865
(alarm ringing)
912
00:38:55,999 --> 00:38:58,032
Damn.
913
00:39:03,733 --> 00:39:05,665
Yeah, this is Andrews
914
00:39:05,733 --> 00:39:08,765
over at the University
of Chicago Art Museum.
915
00:39:08,833 --> 00:39:11,698
I've got a break-in alarm
on the second floor.
916
00:39:11,766 --> 00:39:14,665
Okay, send
some guys over?
917
00:39:14,733 --> 00:39:16,199
Hey, pal,
918
00:39:16,266 --> 00:39:17,866
do we have
a security violation here?
919
00:39:17,933 --> 00:39:19,099
Who are you?
Who am I?
920
00:39:19,167 --> 00:39:21,799
I'm Gilliland,
Internal Systems Management.
921
00:39:21,867 --> 00:39:22,799
I got a beep.
922
00:39:22,867 --> 00:39:23,866
What's the situation?
923
00:39:23,933 --> 00:39:26,265
It looks like
a second-story emergency exit.
924
00:39:26,332 --> 00:39:27,498
Ooh, did you
call the police?
925
00:39:27,566 --> 00:39:28,531
Yeah, just a minute ago.
926
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:30,332
I was going to go
check it out myself.
927
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:31,765
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
no heroics.
928
00:39:31,833 --> 00:39:33,998
You let the pros do
what they're paid to do.
929
00:39:34,066 --> 00:39:34,998
Got that?
Right.
930
00:39:35,066 --> 00:39:35,998
Got it.
Good.
931
00:39:36,066 --> 00:39:37,132
What's the
problem here?
932
00:39:37,199 --> 00:39:38,364
We got a little, uh,
situation
933
00:39:38,432 --> 00:39:39,433
here, Officer.
That was quick.
934
00:39:39,499 --> 00:39:40,665
GARY:
Yeah, we had a 36
935
00:39:40,733 --> 00:39:41,665
over at 1825 Michigan.
936
00:39:41,733 --> 00:39:43,166
I had to give 'em
a quick 10-4.
937
00:39:43,234 --> 00:39:44,598
Oh, well,
we got a possible intruder
938
00:39:44,666 --> 00:39:47,298
on the second floor
emergency exit, a 14-24-16.
939
00:39:47,366 --> 00:39:49,298
Well, we'll go
check it out.
940
00:39:49,366 --> 00:39:51,364
Yeah, you do that, Officers,
check it out right away.
941
00:39:51,432 --> 00:39:53,232
Thank you.
942
00:39:53,300 --> 00:39:54,932
(alarm continues)
943
00:39:54,999 --> 00:39:56,332
Hey, how's it going?
944
00:39:56,399 --> 00:39:57,965
Well, as the man
said when he jumped
945
00:39:58,033 --> 00:39:59,598
off the 20-story building,
"So far, so good."
946
00:39:59,666 --> 00:40:00,832
By my watch, we've
got five minutes
947
00:40:00,899 --> 00:40:01,832
before the real
police arrive.
948
00:40:01,899 --> 00:40:02,932
All right, it's all yours.
949
00:40:02,999 --> 00:40:04,998
See you in the gallery. Okay.
950
00:40:05,066 --> 00:40:08,364
Oh, yeah, I've designed security
systems all over the world.
951
00:40:08,432 --> 00:40:09,465
The Louvre.
952
00:40:10,266 --> 00:40:11,264
In Paris?
953
00:40:11,332 --> 00:40:12,266
Rock and Roll
954
00:40:12,334 --> 00:40:13,965
Hall of Fame, Cleveland.
955
00:40:15,133 --> 00:40:17,532
The, uh...
Uh, here's your problem.
956
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:19,398
Oh.
957
00:40:19,466 --> 00:40:20,598
A blind lady?
958
00:40:20,666 --> 00:40:22,364
Sorry, I got lost.
959
00:40:22,432 --> 00:40:24,831
If you don't mind, I'll let
you take it from here, huh?
960
00:40:24,899 --> 00:40:26,966
Right, sorry
to have bothered you.
961
00:40:29,599 --> 00:40:33,165
(screaming)
962
00:40:33,233 --> 00:40:34,765
What's happening?
What's going on?
963
00:40:34,833 --> 00:40:37,199
I don't know, it looks like he's
having some sort of
964
00:40:37,266 --> 00:40:38,364
an attack
or something.
965
00:40:38,432 --> 00:40:40,765
Hey, buddy, do
you need a doctor or something?
966
00:40:40,833 --> 00:40:41,865
(groans): My pills.
967
00:40:41,933 --> 00:40:42,999
What?
My pills!
968
00:40:43,066 --> 00:40:44,032
You've got to
do something.
969
00:40:44,100 --> 00:40:45,065
Help him.
970
00:40:45,133 --> 00:40:46,765
All right, take it easy,
little fella.
971
00:40:46,833 --> 00:40:47,999
(screaming)
Take it easy.
972
00:40:48,066 --> 00:40:49,099
All right...
973
00:40:49,167 --> 00:40:51,498
in my pocket, my pocket.
974
00:40:51,565 --> 00:40:53,266
(groans)
975
00:40:53,332 --> 00:40:55,099
Ooh...
976
00:40:55,167 --> 00:40:57,298
Quickly.
977
00:41:21,533 --> 00:41:23,932
(grunting)
978
00:41:26,066 --> 00:41:27,765
Thank you.
979
00:41:27,833 --> 00:41:28,765
You okay?
980
00:41:28,833 --> 00:41:31,164
It's a genetic
condition.
981
00:41:31,232 --> 00:41:32,832
"To prevent bloating"?
982
00:41:32,900 --> 00:41:35,999
The brain blows
up like a pumpkin,
983
00:41:36,067 --> 00:41:38,699
but, uh, I'm feeling
much better now.
984
00:41:38,766 --> 00:41:40,098
Well, you're sure?
Yeah, yeah.
985
00:41:40,165 --> 00:41:42,765
Tell you what, uh, why
don't I escort the lady out,
986
00:41:42,833 --> 00:41:45,098
and you, uh, keep an eye
on things over here, okay?
987
00:41:45,165 --> 00:41:46,298
Okay.
988
00:41:46,365 --> 00:41:47,999
Good luck.
989
00:41:48,067 --> 00:41:48,999
Shall we?
990
00:41:49,067 --> 00:41:50,231
Yes, we shall.
991
00:41:50,299 --> 00:41:51,465
This way.
992
00:41:53,566 --> 00:41:55,298
(grunts)
993
00:41:57,933 --> 00:41:59,332
Come on, hurry up.
Don't rush me,
994
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:00,399
old man.
995
00:42:00,466 --> 00:42:02,466
These things cannot be rushed.
996
00:42:07,066 --> 00:42:08,999
All right, there we are.
997
00:42:09,067 --> 00:42:10,364
All right.
998
00:42:10,432 --> 00:42:11,899
Bravo.
999
00:42:11,967 --> 00:42:12,899
Marty?
1000
00:42:12,967 --> 00:42:14,431
I was getting lonely.
1001
00:42:14,499 --> 00:42:15,498
Ow.
1002
00:42:15,566 --> 00:42:16,999
All right, well,
where's Faye?
1003
00:42:17,067 --> 00:42:18,865
Bound and gagged
in the van, Clive,
1004
00:42:18,933 --> 00:42:20,665
but not to worry,
I didn't hurt her.
1005
00:42:20,733 --> 00:42:23,231
If she's stupid enough to get
involved with you, I figure,
1006
00:42:23,299 --> 00:42:24,332
well, that's punishment enough.
1007
00:42:24,399 --> 00:42:25,531
Okay, hand it over.
1008
00:42:26,766 --> 00:42:28,731
Come on, sonny, don't be a fool.
1009
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:30,198
I said hand it over.
1010
00:42:32,766 --> 00:42:36,266
Wait a minute, how do I know
if this is the real one or not?
1011
00:42:36,332 --> 00:42:37,899
How do you know
it's the real one?
1012
00:42:37,966 --> 00:42:39,731
Well, look, you know where I
live, you know where I work.
1013
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:41,564
Why would I...?
Ah, shut up.
1014
00:42:41,632 --> 00:42:44,331
Clive, boy,
I'd plug you right now,
1015
00:42:44,399 --> 00:42:46,065
but I think you'll suffer
a lot more knowing
1016
00:42:46,133 --> 00:42:47,999
how much I'm gonna be whooping
it up on my percentage
1017
00:42:48,067 --> 00:42:49,164
of this.
1018
00:42:49,232 --> 00:42:51,632
I figure about five mil,
n'est-ce pas?
1019
00:42:51,700 --> 00:42:52,632
(cackles)
1020
00:42:52,700 --> 00:42:54,265
Toodles, mate.
1021
00:42:57,033 --> 00:42:58,331
Five million?
1022
00:42:58,399 --> 00:42:59,331
(chuckles)
1023
00:42:59,399 --> 00:43:00,598
That's rather
an optimistic figure,
1024
00:43:00,666 --> 00:43:03,198
don't you think,
for a fake Van Gogh?
1025
00:43:03,266 --> 00:43:04,565
Yeah, except I gave
him the real one.
1026
00:43:04,633 --> 00:43:06,099
Come on, let's go.
You gave him the real one?
1027
00:43:06,166 --> 00:43:07,732
What'd you give him the real one for?
Come on, let's...
1028
00:43:07,799 --> 00:43:09,232
Grab that. What'd you give
him the real one for?
1029
00:43:13,466 --> 00:43:15,398
OFFICER: Hold it right there!
(gun cocks)
1030
00:43:15,465 --> 00:43:17,466
Now!
Freeze!
1031
00:43:17,533 --> 00:43:19,199
Just keep it up,
hands up, let's go!
1032
00:43:19,267 --> 00:43:20,431
Clive!
Don't move, Mister!
1033
00:43:20,499 --> 00:43:21,532
Right there!
1034
00:43:22,999 --> 00:43:25,265
MARTY: This could cost you your job.
Do you know
1035
00:43:25,333 --> 00:43:26,665
who I am?
1036
00:43:26,733 --> 00:43:28,099
He doesn't look very happy,
does he?
1037
00:43:28,167 --> 00:43:29,132
Get your
hands off me.
1038
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:30,632
Yeah, yeah, just
shut up and get in.
1039
00:43:30,700 --> 00:43:33,365
(groaning and muttering)
1040
00:43:35,099 --> 00:43:37,632
So Marty gets caught
with the real painting.
1041
00:43:37,699 --> 00:43:38,832
The police figured
1042
00:43:38,899 --> 00:43:41,165
he was inside the museum
pulling off the switch.
1043
00:43:41,233 --> 00:43:44,665
And the illustrious career of
the Chameleon comes to an end.
1044
00:43:44,733 --> 00:43:46,599
Finally brought to justice.
1045
00:43:46,666 --> 00:43:47,665
Well, wait a minute.
1046
00:43:47,733 --> 00:43:50,298
Marty wasn't the Chameleon;
you are.
1047
00:43:50,365 --> 00:43:52,699
Yeah, well, uh, the police,
they don't know that.
1048
00:43:52,766 --> 00:43:54,364
I won't tell if you don't.
1049
00:43:54,432 --> 00:43:55,365
MARISSA:
Oh...
1050
00:43:55,433 --> 00:43:57,299
see no evil,
speak no evil.
1051
00:43:57,366 --> 00:44:00,165
Tell me, Hobbers,
you sly beggar,
1052
00:44:00,233 --> 00:44:01,598
how did you manage
this one?
1053
00:44:01,666 --> 00:44:03,364
Yeah, Hobbers,
I was wondering the same thing,
1054
00:44:03,432 --> 00:44:05,799
considering you didn't have
any visual aid this time,
1055
00:44:05,866 --> 00:44:07,598
if you know what I mean.
1056
00:44:07,666 --> 00:44:10,398
Oh, well, I, I was, uh...
well, we were running late,
1057
00:44:10,465 --> 00:44:12,264
and I figured the police
couldn't be far away
1058
00:44:12,332 --> 00:44:13,498
when Marty showed up,
1059
00:44:13,566 --> 00:44:16,298
so it was a rare opportunity
and I, uh, I took it.
1060
00:44:16,366 --> 00:44:18,099
Improvisational art.
1061
00:44:18,167 --> 00:44:20,532
Yeah, yeah, something like that.
1062
00:44:20,599 --> 00:44:21,599
Very good.
1063
00:44:21,666 --> 00:44:23,499
Now, out you go.
1064
00:44:23,566 --> 00:44:24,832
Huh?
1065
00:44:24,900 --> 00:44:28,732
And, uh, take this silly toy
with you, will you?
1066
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:35,798
Because Faye and I have got,
ooh, three years to catch up on.
1067
00:44:35,866 --> 00:44:36,798
We do?
1068
00:44:36,866 --> 00:44:38,798
Oh, we do.
(chuckles)
1069
00:44:38,866 --> 00:44:40,665
(moans)
1070
00:44:40,733 --> 00:44:42,498
Well, uh, we can take a hint.
1071
00:44:42,566 --> 00:44:44,465
Come on, Spike.
1072
00:44:44,532 --> 00:44:46,032
Come on, Spike.
1073
00:44:46,100 --> 00:44:48,932
Okay, you only have
to tell us once.
1074
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,299
Oh, uh, well, uh...
1075
00:44:55,766 --> 00:44:57,998
(clears throat)
MAN: See you guys at the station.
1076
00:45:03,566 --> 00:45:05,531
Well, that was
an interesting evening.
1077
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,298
Yeah, it's still
pretty early.
1078
00:45:07,365 --> 00:45:08,966
Hey, you guys want
to get some dinner?
1079
00:45:09,033 --> 00:45:10,131
No, I'm going home to bed.
1080
00:45:10,199 --> 00:45:11,364
What's the matter
with you?
1081
00:45:11,432 --> 00:45:13,032
What do you mean,
what's the matter wi...
1082
00:45:13,099 --> 00:45:14,032
what's the matter with me?
1083
00:45:14,099 --> 00:45:15,264
I'm tired, I want to go to bed.
1084
00:45:15,332 --> 00:45:16,599
Is that all right with you?
1085
00:45:16,666 --> 00:45:18,231
MARISSA: Stick in the mud.
CHUCK: You need a...
1086
00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:19,765
you need a little excitement in
your life, Gare.
1087
00:45:19,833 --> 00:45:21,066
MARISSA: Yeah.
GARY: Excitement in my...
1088
00:45:21,133 --> 00:45:24,066
What did, what did
we just do tonight?
1089
00:45:24,133 --> 00:45:27,066
CHUCK: All work and no play
makes Gary a very dull boy.
1090
00:45:27,133 --> 00:45:28,066
MARISSA:
Exactly.
1091
00:45:28,133 --> 00:45:29,799
GARY: Do you know
how silly that sounds?
1092
00:45:29,866 --> 00:45:31,832
You know, I usually don't
agree with him, Gary,
1093
00:45:31,900 --> 00:45:33,264
but for once, he's right.
1094
00:45:33,332 --> 00:45:35,331
I'm right. He's r...
you're agreeing with him?
1095
00:45:35,399 --> 00:45:36,932
Yes, I am. You're
agreeing with him?
1096
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,431
You know what? I ought
to arrest the both of you.
1096
00:45:40,305 --> 00:46:40,175
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