♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪
♪ All the things that make us ♪
♪ Laugh and cry! ♪
♪ He's a family guy! ♪
Hey, we got here right in time, Mav.
There's still a few minutes left in happy hour.
Excuse me, ma'am?
Talk to me, Goose. Which pilot do you think
is gonna be my rival at Top Gun?
It's probably that guy staring at you
while snapping his gum and spinning a pen.
His name's Iceman,
because that's how he flies. Ice-cold.
Cranks the AC, heard it's a sweating problem.
Used to be fat or something.
I don't think this bartender saw me. Ma'am?
Have you figured it out yet?
- Figured what out? - Who's the best pilot?
I heard Snoopy's pretty good. Does, like, loops and stuff.
Good luck tomorrow. You guys are gonna need it.
Come on, Slider, let's get some air.
Hot in here, right?
Oh, now she's wiping down bottles.
She's running out the clock on me.
Talk to me, Goose.
How much you want to bet I can sleep with her tonight?
Come on, Mav, I said I wasn't gonna do one of our sex bets
until my parents left. Their flight got delayed.
Oh, Goosey.
Hey, you didn't want to pay for my college,
so now I'm in the horny Navy.
Sorry, you just missed happy hour.
You know what you did, you bitch.
♪ You never close your eyes ♪
♪ Anymore when I kiss your lips ♪
No, thank you. Not interested.
♪ You're trying hard not to show it ♪
Guys, please.
♪ Baby ♪
A complete misfire.
♪ But, baby ♪
I'm saying no!
♪ Believe me, I know it ♪
I did not ask for this.
♪ You've lost that loving feeling... ♪
Eighty visibly-aroused servicemen
are trying to pressure me into a sexual relationship.
♪ That loving feeling... ♪
Ah, what the hell.
It's an '80s movie, so after ten nos,
I have to be your girlfriend.
I'm Maverick.
What's your boobs' name?
- Charlie. - That's a boy's name.
So, what brings you to town?
I'm an instructor at Top Gun.
Waitress school, huh? That's cool.
Oh, I bet you talk past all the girls you meet.
Gentlemen, look around.
You are all in the top 1% of naval aviators.
You're here because you are the best of the best.
One of you is here because you won
a silent auction at my kid's school.
I can't believe we land on boats.
So freakin' neat.
Now, part of your training is going to involve
familiarizing yourself with enemy aircraft.
Here to talk about that now
is our civilian specialist and TAGREP.
Code name, Charlie.
Hello, class.
Ooh, look, Mav, it's your girlfriend.
Stop talking to me, Goose.
I know a lot of you don't think a lady belongs
in flight school, so to prove you wrong,
I'm gonna say a lot of names of planes.
F-5. A-4. MiG-23.
I've seen all those planes before.
And I've seen a blimp.
We've seen a blimp.
- Yeah, right. - Talk to them, Goose.
It's true. We gave it the finger.
Yeah, if you're not a Goodyear, get out of my sky.
And where exactly did you see this blimp?
That's classified.
I also flew over a million miles an hour once.
- What? When? - Also classified.
Oh, he's just saying "classified" to cover up obvious lies.
No, I'm not. They're all true.
I'm six feet tall.
- Stand up. - Classified!
- Out! - What? That was clearly in.
It was on the other side of the line.
You mean the crooked line you made with your foot?
Screw that!
That was our only ball.
All right, all right, sorry, I'll get it.
Damn it!
We might need to send this up the chain of command.
Men, the Navy is nothing if we can't play jean shorts,
shiny-guy volleyball. Any ideas?
What if we bomb it?
Bingo bango.
I got missile lock. Firing.
Yeah! Thanks, taxpayers.
Game on.
Oh, here come the fish.
Wow, that was some good teacher sex.
Hey, sorry I yelled, "Talk to me, Goose" when I finished.
Well, I know we've only known each other for a few days,
and that you've publicly undermined me
in front of everyone, but I think
I'm falling for you, Mav.
And once I get approval from the elders at my church,
and you're properly vetted,
I think I'll be falling for you, too.
I'm just worried about you.
You need to start playing by the rules.
If I cared about rules, I wouldn't be lying
in this bed dry-crusted to your bedsheets.
That's why I gave you the wet wipe.
You got nothing to worry about, babe.
Goose isn't gonna die like in my very vivid dream,
and you for sure won't be left out of the second movie.
- What? - What?
So, Charlie, you and Mav are pretty serious, huh?
I heard he pooped at your house last night.
What?
I've known him for a long time,
and he does not just poop anywhere.
He's very particular.
Because Navy toilets don't have doors.
You learn to hold it.
Goose, can I talk to you a sec?
Did you tell your wife I had a BM?
Unless you are a fool, that boy is in love with you.
Oh, I like him, but he also keeps spitting out
random facts about L. Ron Hubbard.
Little bit of a red flag.
Did you know L. Ron Hubbard was the youngest ever Eagle Scout?
I don't know if that's true.
Suppressive person!
It'll be nice to have another wife in the group,
especially for that second movie we'll all definitely be in.
Hey, Goose, take me to bed
or lose me forever!
Just so you know, if you do want to lose her forever,
my church is really good at that.
This is it, gentlemen.
Whoever wins today, wins Top Gun.
Good luck.
'Sup, weenies?
You left your coffee on top of your plane.
Damn it. I can't even without that.
Kill-your-co-pilot-says "what?"
What?
Talk to me, Goose. Where's our target?
Bogey is two miles, headed away.
Ready to engage. You know, if we're gonna win this thing,
we're gonna need the right flying music.
♪ We'll get higher and higher ♪
♪ Straight up we'll climb... ♪
Eh, I'm not feeling this.
What? That was perfect.
I just want to check Jammin' 95.5,
Miramar's Party Hits for a sec.
We're not supposed to touch the presets, man.
The Navy said only Easy 97, The Coast.
I'm close.
Don't push it, Mav.
Just a little bit more.
And got it!
♪ You spin me right round, baby, right round... ♪
Oh, no, we're stuck in a spin!
Perfect song, though.
Engine one is out! Change it back!
The dial's stuck!
♪ Baby, right round... ♪
Engine two is out!
♪ Right round round, round... ♪
We're losing altitude! We're gonna have to eject!
- Pull on three! - Pull on three or after three?
- What's the difference? - One is on, one is after.
Uh, let's just pull on two.
On or after two?
Aah!
Talk to me, Goose.
You're not talking to me, Goose.
You're listening to Easy 97, The Coast.
♪ Hurry, don't be late ♪
♪ I can hardly wait ♪
♪ I said to myself ♪
♪ When we're old ♪
Bump.
Set.
Spike!
Bump.
Set.
Spike!
Hey. I'm sorry about Goose.
I want you to know, when he died,
we were more than five miles out,
so I could have done anything I wanted with his body,
but I didn't.
That does bring me some peace.
Here's his helmet.
There's still some blood and brains in it.
Sorry, I washed it at one of those beach foot showers,
but they're pretty strictly timed.
Maybe, um, keep it in that box.
I promise that I will always be there for you guys,
and I'll for sure give you a huge part in the next movie.
- I know... - Provided both our faces
age proportionally with each other's.
Glad we agreed on that.
I'm gonna talk to your son for a second.
Hey, your dad loved you very much.
And you're gonna grow up to have a stupid mustache
just like him one day.
- You think so? - I know so.
Maverick, I'm sorry about Goose.
Everybody liked him.
Smells like balls in here.
Let's get ready to fly now!
- I quit. - What? Are you serious?
Yeah. All I ever wanted was to be a pilot,
but now I think I want to be a guy
who turns on roller coasters.
It looks easy, and I can do it drunk.
I know you're sad about Goose,
but you're too good a pilot to quit.
And we need your help for a special mission
against an unnamed country who's our enemy.
Ooh, I hate those guys.
Yeah, what they did was not okay.
What do you say? Will you fly?
No. I'm too sad about Goose,
so I'm gonna go sulk in some of my other movies for a while.
You want answers?
- I want the Goose! - You can't handle the Goose!
Show me the money!
Talk to me, Goose.
I think I might have the wrong number!
Hey, what's the weight limit on these lower-y things, Goose?
May I have the password, please?
- "Talk to me, Goose"? - No, that's not it.
- "Goose, talk to me"? - No.
- It's something with "Goose." - It's not. You must leave.
Can I please stay for the sex party?
I already Binaca'd my stuff like the sign on the wall said.
- "The Goose is loose." - Go!
Okay, I'm done being sad,
and I'm ready for the big final mission now.
Maverick? We flew that mission 35 years ago.
You've been sulking for three decades.
Oh. So, is this still Top Gun?
No. This is Top Gun: Maverick.
It's completely different and exactly the same.
I'm glad you're back.
Yet another unnamed country that is our enemy
is planning something big.
Oh. Them.
We need you to help train a new crop of pilots for the mission.
I appreciate the offer, sir, but I can't accept.
I understand.
Then we'll need to take back your Navy-issued lifts
that make you everyone else's height.
No, no, no, that... No, no, that... No, that's fine.
- I... I can, I can teach. - Good.
Oh, there's one other thing you should know.
One of the pilots you'll be training is Goose's son.
Who's Goose?
What? Goose.
The guy you just spent 35 years mourning.
Oh! Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Goose.
Yeah, oh, wow, brain toot.
Yeah, thanks for the heads-up.
Welcome to Top Gun: Maverick.
Our mission, destroy a uranium enrichment plant
in that unnamed country that is our enemy.
Man, I want to cream those guys!
To complete this mission, I propose we fly
at a low altitude, undetected through a canyon,
then destroy the target.
All in under two and a half minutes. Questions?
Yeah, this mission seems really similar
to the one in Star Wars.
People can fly low and shoot a small thing
without it being a Star Wars.
Yeah, but the text on the screen even says,
"Womp rat-sized target."
Don't look at the screen.
Any other questions not about Star Wars?
Why'd you kill my dad?
- No more questions! - Do you do your own stunts?
Well, maybe one more.
As a matter of fact, I do.
Had you not heard that?
Anyway, I'm gonna fly the mission.
You're all cut except for Goose's son.
So why are we even here?
Only stunt questions from you, Bob.
I'm Bob?
Iceman.
Ah, it's good to see you again.
We have so many memories together.
Anyway, I need your advice.
If I don't pick Rooster for the mission,
he's never gonna forgive me for everything.
But I'm afraid he's not ready.
What should I do?
Thanks, Iceman. I knew you'd know what to do.
So, are you all silent and scarfed because you're dying?
No, is that what people are saying?
No, I'm just on vocal rest for karaoke later.
I'm 100% totally fine.
I've never felt better in my li...
Aw, he died.
Five miles to target. Try to keep up, Rooster.
Not gonna be a problem.
Let's keep the small talk to a minimum.
Got it.
So, how's your dad doing, good?
You killed him.
Yeah, and I was more than five miles out,
and I could have done anything with his body, but I didn't.
Yeah, the more you say that,
the more I don't think it's true.
Are you angry at me for pulling your papers
from the Naval Academy?
'Cause I've already forgiven myself for that.
I had a whole scene with Iceman and Iceman's computer about it.
This is about everything, my dad, the papers.
And why'd you write my mom out of the sequel?
It's complicated.
There's scheduling conflicts and different creative visions,
and it wouldn't be fair to her
to use her in a way that's inorganic to the narrative.
Inorganic? I should be 40 years old,
but somehow I'm, like, 20?
Oh, people don't care about those details,
as long as you have loud jets and America kicking ass.
That was awesome!
Hey, let's take a selfie to celebrate.
This is totally main-feed material.
Maverick, no!
Oh, no! We lost 'em.
They's gone, sir.
Well, I know it's only 12:15,
but that's all we had to do today, so...
long weekend!
Aw, one of my AirPods fell out.
Rooster!
Do you think I took that missile
so you could be down here with me?
You should be back at the carrier by now.
I was trying to save you.
No, I was trying to save you.
Look, I'm sorry, Rooster.
For your dad, for pulling your papers,
and for signing you up for Gavin Newsom's text messages.
I responded "STOP" and it just wouldn't stop.
Why were you doing all these things?
To protect you. At first.
Then I kind of got addicted to the idea
of controlling every minute detail of a person's life.
Get down, Mav!
I also replaced your weapons with gender reveal things.
That is the last thing, though, I swear.
Aw.
Hello, Maverick.
You guys are the bad guys? Why?
Why do you think?
We were important parts of that first movie,
and you just tossed all the women aside.
Yet you somehow figured out how to keep in a guy
who's literally unable to speak.
This is all a big misunderstanding, and I can fix it.
They're talking about doing another Jerry Maguire.
How would you like to be the fat head kid's grandma?
And you can be Minority Report's grandma.
I got grandma parts for all of you.
How come you get to be a 60-year-old action star
and we have to be grandmas?
We can do action, too, you know.
And we're gonna prove it right now.
Let me just put on my reading glasses, hold on.
Wait. You're right.
You both brought up some painful memories,
or engrams.
What if I told you that, through a series of audits,
I can help you go clear and liberate the thetan
trapped inside your astral shell?
Is that like horoscopes?
It is kind of like stars and space stuff.
Yeah, if you want, I can go grab an E-meter from my plane.
You know, I have been feeling a little off
since the last half-moon.
Okay, be quick.
- I can't believe they fell for that crap. - Oh, yeah, such crap,
definitely not something I've left two families over.
What are you doing, Mav?
I'm getting us out of here.
You sure this old thing can even fly?
It's not that old.
Look at its full head of log cabin brown hair.
I know horoscopes are a little flimflammy,
but people act like they're fortune cookies...
Damn it, they're stealing that very young plane!
We're never gonna lose 'em in this thing.
We can't take much more of this.
We're gonna have to eject.
I'm gonna climb, then we'll eject on three.
On three or after three?
You're just like your stupid father.
Take the shot.
Iceman! He's alive!
Yay! Saved by a guy!
It's good to have my wingman back.
I thought we lost you.
Nope. I'm as healthy as I've ever...
Aw, he died again.
Well, that was pretty fun.
Top Gun: Maverick went on to make
over a billion dollars at the box office.
You know what that means?
People are going to the movies again.
Isn't that right, Tiny Tom Cruise?
That's right, Peter. Now let's jump!
Why are we jumping again?
So people will watch your stuff,
and because I don't know I'm not in a movie
all the time.
You do your own stunts?
Oh, yeah, were you not aware of that?
- Synced and corrected by naFraC - - www.addic7ed.com -