1
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Previously on "Future Man"...
2
00:00:04,258 --> 00:00:07,126
These three have stolen
a time travel device.
3
00:00:07,134 --> 00:00:09,344
They can be anytime, anywhere.
4
00:00:09,345 --> 00:00:10,595
I got a ping. Someone just invented
5
00:00:10,596 --> 00:00:12,676
sliced bread 700 years too early.
6
00:00:12,682 --> 00:00:15,522
Wolf-Hart just decapitated
Shoji the Honorable,
7
00:00:15,523 --> 00:00:19,437
wiping out an entire line
of noble warriors.
8
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Da, da!
9
00:00:20,981 --> 00:00:23,400
Check out this book.
It's got to be Wolf-Hart.
10
00:00:23,401 --> 00:00:25,360
He set her humanity aflame.
11
00:00:25,361 --> 00:00:26,736
They're hiding in Russia.
12
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Two timelines just momentarily merged.
13
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I think we're looking at temporal decay.
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Future and past existing simultaneously,
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space-time collapsing in on itself.
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Are you there, God?
17
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Please don't call me that.
18
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What should I call you, then?
19
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How about "friend?" You must come to me.
20
00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:42,001
I will give you
the coordinates to find me.
21
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- Hey, give me that.
- No, I got it!
22
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I'm taking us somewhere safe.
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What's going on?
24
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You piss yourself in moments
half as tense as that.
25
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I had faith, and my faith was rewarded.
26
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My destiny is not back there.
27
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It's up there.
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Yes, Josh. You are close.
29
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What's on top of the mountain?
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Home.
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We're off to see the all-knowing,
32
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benevolent, the great, the powerful...
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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Josh, my friend, I have been patient.
35
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I have waited for your scratch to heal.
36
00:03:30,713 --> 00:03:32,547
It's not a scratch.
37
00:03:32,548 --> 00:03:34,757
Okay, the scent
of my leg repels animals.
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Except for vultures,
who just keep following me.
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Today, you must climb the mountain.
40
00:03:39,808 --> 00:03:41,845
I can barely walk.
41
00:03:41,849 --> 00:03:44,349
You keep pushing me to climb,
and every time that I do,
42
00:03:44,351 --> 00:03:48,605
the wound just opens up again,
and it's making it worse.
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00:03:48,606 --> 00:03:50,646
Why can't you just come meet me here?
44
00:03:50,649 --> 00:03:52,229
The mountain will not come to you,
45
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you must come to the mountain.
46
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Don't give up,
not when you are so close.
47
00:03:56,783 --> 00:03:57,950
Exactly, exactly.
48
00:03:57,951 --> 00:04:00,908
Doesn't close count for anything?
49
00:04:00,909 --> 00:04:03,536
Look, I just want to go home.
50
00:04:03,537 --> 00:04:05,787
I thought we were friends.
51
00:04:05,789 --> 00:04:07,957
It turns out I'm just that sad Bible guy
52
00:04:07,958 --> 00:04:09,788
who God keeps on testing
over and over again.
53
00:04:09,793 --> 00:04:10,793
You know the one.
54
00:04:10,794 --> 00:04:13,379
Uh... Jesus?
55
00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:15,670
No! Job.
56
00:04:15,674 --> 00:04:17,175
Right?
57
00:04:17,176 --> 00:04:19,176
If you say so.
58
00:04:28,479 --> 00:04:30,897
Oh. What took you so long?
59
00:04:30,898 --> 00:04:34,108
Oh, you know, I just kept
falling and crying.
60
00:04:34,109 --> 00:04:35,899
Mm-hmm.
61
00:04:35,903 --> 00:04:38,655
Oh, yeah.
62
00:04:38,656 --> 00:04:40,196
Goddamn it.
63
00:04:40,199 --> 00:04:43,368
I asked for King Boletes.
these are Death Caps.
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00:04:43,369 --> 00:04:45,039
You want to guess what happens
if you eat these?
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00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,666
This is fine dining, not college improv.
66
00:04:47,667 --> 00:04:50,165
I'm sorry, okay? I'm doing my best.
67
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Just cut me some slack.
I'm going to my room.
68
00:04:55,381 --> 00:04:58,091
Oh, well, if it isn't little Miss
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00:04:58,092 --> 00:04:59,552
"Haven't Been Home in Three Days."
70
00:05:03,597 --> 00:05:06,975
Oh, yeah, my chin is a-barkin'.
71
00:05:06,976 --> 00:05:08,766
No one's making you wear that thing.
72
00:05:08,769 --> 00:05:11,059
Yeah, well, I'm sick
of killing would-be rapers.
73
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Hey, boy?
74
00:05:12,106 --> 00:05:13,686
- Boy?
- What?
75
00:05:13,691 --> 00:05:15,109
Why'd you have to bring us
to yet another time
76
00:05:15,110 --> 00:05:16,609
where women are treated like garbage?
77
00:05:16,610 --> 00:05:20,110
Well, I'm so sorry.
It's called "all of history."
78
00:05:20,114 --> 00:05:22,164
What do you want me to do about it?
79
00:05:24,952 --> 00:05:26,661
Those are bear traps.
80
00:05:26,662 --> 00:05:28,541
Yep, and they need a-mendin'.
81
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Rabbit's ten away.
82
00:05:29,832 --> 00:05:32,382
I made sous-vide bags
out of elk bladders.
83
00:05:32,383 --> 00:05:34,126
It locks in the flavor.
84
00:05:34,128 --> 00:05:35,298
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's food.
85
00:05:35,299 --> 00:05:38,835
- Who gives a shit?
- Ooh, careful.
86
00:05:41,468 --> 00:05:45,638
Okay, so how was your day?
87
00:05:45,639 --> 00:05:48,558
Well, I beat my PR on beaver pelts.
88
00:05:48,559 --> 00:05:50,639
- 97.
- Oh, wow.
89
00:05:50,644 --> 00:05:53,523
Yeah, pretty good
considering those Mohawk dicks
90
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are messing with my traps.
91
00:05:55,073 --> 00:05:57,775
Oh, well, you know, if you like,
92
00:05:57,776 --> 00:05:59,356
I can speak with the Mohawk.
93
00:05:59,361 --> 00:06:02,659
They're allied with the French,
and they don't take too kindly
94
00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:05,656
to independent operators
moving in on their territory,
95
00:06:05,659 --> 00:06:08,449
but if I were to communicate
our neutrality...
96
00:06:08,454 --> 00:06:09,874
- You know what?
- And then we can...
97
00:06:09,875 --> 00:06:12,212
Stop you right there
Mr. "Tell Morning Not to Come."
98
00:06:12,213 --> 00:06:15,167
I gave you no cause
to retrieve the book.
99
00:06:15,169 --> 00:06:17,959
Boy. Read it.
100
00:06:17,963 --> 00:06:19,297
Do I have to?
101
00:06:19,298 --> 00:06:21,758
Read the passage.
102
00:06:21,759 --> 00:06:23,839
"Climax upon climax.
103
00:06:23,844 --> 00:06:26,929
"A cascade that had
no beginning and no end.
104
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"I knew I must tell the world
what happened
105
00:06:29,481 --> 00:06:32,515
between those beet-stained sheets."
106
00:06:32,519 --> 00:06:33,809
I mean, you could've just...
107
00:06:33,812 --> 00:06:35,982
finger-blasted her, called it a day.
108
00:06:35,983 --> 00:06:38,775
But no, you had to go ahead and inspire
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00:06:38,776 --> 00:06:41,566
a whole new genre
of literary erotic fiction.
110
00:06:41,570 --> 00:06:44,408
I only do things one way,
and that's all the way.
111
00:06:44,409 --> 00:06:46,776
And that is why
you are on a soft lockdown
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till further notice, soldier.
113
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I like it here.
114
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The air is clear, the killin's good.
115
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And I don't need you messing it up
116
00:06:54,374 --> 00:06:56,542
by putting your
stupid mark on history again.
117
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You're treating me like a goddamn Josh.
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Hey.
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Don't act like such a prisoner.
120
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You go to the trading post
and sell my furs.
121
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Yeah, once a week.
122
00:07:04,343 --> 00:07:06,223
You're running around
free doing whatever you like
123
00:07:06,224 --> 00:07:08,558
while I'm stuck here
changing the Josh's bandages.
124
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- I change them, too.
- Once.
125
00:07:10,182 --> 00:07:11,641
And half-way through, you gave up,
126
00:07:11,642 --> 00:07:13,312
and you handed them to me.
127
00:07:13,313 --> 00:07:16,729
Hey, Tiger.
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The Mohawk did not destroy your traps.
129
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There's no human
that can bend iron like this.
130
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Whitey.
131
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Oh, Lord. Not this again.
132
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Albino bear of legend.
133
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Ten feet tall, snow-white fur.
134
00:07:36,083 --> 00:07:40,169
Eyes as red as the devil.
Heart as black as...
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00:07:40,170 --> 00:07:41,170
also the devil.
136
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Whitey is a myth.
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Tall tale told by trappers
to scare each other
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around the campfire.
139
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No, he is real,
140
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and if I do nothing else on this Earth,
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I will kill Whitey.
142
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Hunter's log, day 187.
143
00:07:59,857 --> 00:08:01,277
Having thinned the beaver population
144
00:08:01,278 --> 00:08:02,855
to near extinction levels,
145
00:08:02,860 --> 00:08:05,570
I direct my gaze to more elusive quarry.
146
00:08:05,571 --> 00:08:07,991
In nature, there can only be
one apex predator.
147
00:08:07,992 --> 00:08:09,530
My mission?
148
00:08:09,533 --> 00:08:12,293
To kill my way to the very
top of this food chain.
149
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Failure is not an option.
150
00:08:14,705 --> 00:08:17,665
I rely on keen instinct,
finely-honed skills,
151
00:08:17,666 --> 00:08:20,536
and whatever savagery
this hunt requires..
152
00:08:20,544 --> 00:08:23,671
Ursine maggot.
153
00:08:23,672 --> 00:08:26,132
Hmm.
154
00:08:26,133 --> 00:08:29,343
Clue...
155
00:08:29,344 --> 00:08:32,564
and a snack.
156
00:08:36,435 --> 00:08:39,604
Female. In heat.
157
00:08:39,605 --> 00:08:41,855
Same here, sister.
158
00:08:43,609 --> 00:08:45,569
There she is.
159
00:08:49,364 --> 00:08:52,158
Five minutes. Maybe ten.
160
00:08:52,159 --> 00:08:54,159
Looks like a bear
does shit in the woods.
161
00:09:02,628 --> 00:09:06,088
Ah. We are having reindeer sweetbreads,
162
00:09:06,089 --> 00:09:07,256
wild asparagus,
163
00:09:07,257 --> 00:09:10,547
a salad of chickweed, peppergrass...
164
00:09:10,552 --> 00:09:13,062
Hunting. Need protein.
165
00:09:16,892 --> 00:09:18,942
That's it. I can't live like this.
166
00:09:32,950 --> 00:09:34,700
I just need to feel seen.
167
00:09:34,701 --> 00:09:36,201
Yeah, well, buy a mirror.
168
00:09:40,332 --> 00:09:42,416
Oh, God, the stench.
169
00:09:42,417 --> 00:09:45,877
It's... it's bad today.
170
00:09:45,879 --> 00:09:49,419
All right, someone needs
to change the Josh.
171
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Fine. I'll do it.
172
00:10:06,775 --> 00:10:10,525
All right, let's have a look at this.
173
00:10:12,114 --> 00:10:15,866
Oh, yowzer me. Yikes.
174
00:10:15,867 --> 00:10:17,907
I am not liking the color of that ooze.
175
00:10:17,911 --> 00:10:19,120
You know, it's like chicken.
176
00:10:19,121 --> 00:10:21,371
You want the juices to run clear.
177
00:10:21,373 --> 00:10:23,332
Yep, well, it's about that time.
178
00:10:23,333 --> 00:10:25,671
No, no! No one is cutting my leg off.
179
00:10:25,672 --> 00:10:27,588
Yeah, to get through that femur,
180
00:10:27,589 --> 00:10:29,507
I'm definitely gonna have to saw.
181
00:10:29,508 --> 00:10:30,876
No, no sawing, either.
182
00:10:30,882 --> 00:10:33,179
I heard tale of a medicine woman
183
00:10:33,180 --> 00:10:35,216
at the trading post who works wonders.
184
00:10:35,220 --> 00:10:36,640
I bet I could get you in to see her.
185
00:10:36,641 --> 00:10:38,888
No, no medicine woman.
186
00:10:38,890 --> 00:10:40,890
Okay, my leg is going to heal.
187
00:10:40,892 --> 00:10:43,102
Okay, I know it will.
188
00:10:43,103 --> 00:10:44,103
Why would somebody put me through this
189
00:10:44,104 --> 00:10:46,147
if I can't overcome it?
190
00:10:46,148 --> 00:10:47,606
Pretty shitty thing for a friend to do.
191
00:10:47,607 --> 00:10:48,937
I'm shitty? You're shitty!
192
00:10:48,942 --> 00:10:50,942
Uh...
193
00:10:54,031 --> 00:10:55,031
Okay, buddy.
194
00:10:58,744 --> 00:11:01,714
Hold him steady. He'll be a-thrashin'.
195
00:11:03,665 --> 00:11:04,955
No, no, please, please, please!
196
00:11:04,958 --> 00:11:06,208
Please, please,
don't cut my leg off, please.
197
00:11:06,209 --> 00:11:08,749
I swear I will go see
the medicine woman.
198
00:11:08,754 --> 00:11:11,051
See what happens when you set
some firm boundaries?
199
00:11:11,052 --> 00:11:13,048
- Don't even start.
- You coddle him.
200
00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:18,447
So what does this medicine woman do?
201
00:11:18,472 --> 00:11:20,519
More like what doesn't she do?
202
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,718
She's a therapist, frontier doctor,
203
00:11:22,743 --> 00:11:24,643
weight-loss guru.
204
00:11:24,644 --> 00:11:26,524
She helped me drop the Frontier Fifteen,
205
00:11:26,525 --> 00:11:29,731
and cured
my seasonal affective disorder.
206
00:11:29,733 --> 00:11:32,526
Turns out, it's okay to be sad.
207
00:11:32,527 --> 00:11:34,857
Good. I thought it was like
a religious thing.
208
00:11:34,863 --> 00:11:37,156
Religion? Hell no.
209
00:11:37,157 --> 00:11:39,447
Yeah, yeah, I know.
You and Tiger don't believe.
210
00:11:39,451 --> 00:11:41,201
How could we?
211
00:11:41,203 --> 00:11:43,043
Growing up in the sewer with the Biotics
212
00:11:43,044 --> 00:11:45,748
sending down those toddler bombs.
213
00:11:45,749 --> 00:11:47,749
I'm sorry, the what bombs?
214
00:11:47,751 --> 00:11:49,798
I've told you about the toddler bombs.
215
00:11:49,799 --> 00:11:51,375
Human children genetically engineered
216
00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:53,170
to blow up when you hug them.
217
00:11:53,173 --> 00:11:54,507
No. That's fucked up.
218
00:11:54,508 --> 00:11:56,048
Well, that's not the fucked up part.
219
00:11:56,051 --> 00:11:57,801
We could always spot the toddler bombs
220
00:11:57,803 --> 00:12:01,310
because any actual sewer child
was far too emotionally damaged
221
00:12:01,311 --> 00:12:03,226
to yearn for physical affection.
222
00:12:03,227 --> 00:12:04,385
Holy shit.
223
00:12:04,393 --> 00:12:05,643
Again, not the fucked up part.
224
00:12:05,644 --> 00:12:07,444
How is that not the fucked up part?
225
00:12:07,445 --> 00:12:11,727
Eventually,
us older kids captured the TBs
226
00:12:11,733 --> 00:12:14,443
and forced them to perform
for us in a makeshift circus.
227
00:12:14,444 --> 00:12:17,454
Okay, just cut to the fucked up part.
228
00:12:19,741 --> 00:12:23,411
We laughed at one
of the toddler bombs' poetry.
229
00:12:23,412 --> 00:12:25,412
It was bad.
230
00:12:25,414 --> 00:12:28,666
He had the mind of a three-year-old.
231
00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:32,044
But we didn't have to laugh.
232
00:12:32,045 --> 00:12:34,585
He took it pretty hard,
233
00:12:34,589 --> 00:12:38,799
ended up hugging himself
and self-detonating.
234
00:12:38,802 --> 00:12:40,892
All the other TBs
realized that they, too,
235
00:12:40,893 --> 00:12:45,015
were just there for our amusement.
236
00:12:45,016 --> 00:12:50,016
Pop, pop, pop, pop.
237
00:12:51,857 --> 00:12:56,857
Mass toddler suicide.
238
00:12:56,862 --> 00:12:59,947
That's when I realized there was no God.
239
00:12:59,948 --> 00:13:02,158
He was just some sky genie
people made up
240
00:13:02,159 --> 00:13:03,367
to give them hope.
241
00:13:19,426 --> 00:13:22,636
You doubled back.
242
00:13:22,637 --> 00:13:24,637
Why?
243
00:13:26,558 --> 00:13:29,477
Why here?
244
00:13:29,478 --> 00:13:31,937
So visible.
245
00:13:31,938 --> 00:13:33,938
So exposed.
246
00:13:36,234 --> 00:13:40,034
The fuck were you looking for?
247
00:13:43,658 --> 00:13:45,576
Oh.
248
00:13:46,953 --> 00:13:50,253
Is this bear something,
or is this bear something?
249
00:13:52,626 --> 00:13:54,206
You're looking at me.
250
00:13:54,211 --> 00:13:56,629
Okay.
251
00:13:56,630 --> 00:13:57,796
Okay.
252
00:13:57,797 --> 00:14:00,877
You want to dance? Huh?
253
00:14:00,884 --> 00:14:03,135
You want to dance?
254
00:14:03,136 --> 00:14:05,256
Let's fucking Lindy Hop.
255
00:14:08,975 --> 00:14:11,644
The old trading post.
256
00:14:11,645 --> 00:14:15,185
Burned to the ground
by the outlaw Wild Sam Bladden.
257
00:14:15,190 --> 00:14:17,399
Folks here
are gonna have the last laugh.
258
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,739
We're rebuilding this
trading center to be stronger,
259
00:14:20,740 --> 00:14:22,107
more vibrant than ever.
260
00:14:22,113 --> 00:14:24,283
Wait, did you say "we?"
261
00:14:27,577 --> 00:14:29,577
What's happening?
262
00:14:34,501 --> 00:14:37,251
How do you know all these people?
263
00:14:37,254 --> 00:14:40,844
Wolf, did you build a thriving
international hub of commerce?
264
00:14:40,845 --> 00:14:42,590
No.
265
00:14:42,592 --> 00:14:44,301
I served in a consulting capacity.
266
00:14:44,302 --> 00:14:46,302
Nothing formal. I'm nobody here.
267
00:14:49,307 --> 00:14:51,267
Just go on.
268
00:14:51,268 --> 00:14:53,348
He's just confused.
269
00:14:53,353 --> 00:14:56,939
Trust me, around here,
I'm a ghost, a shadow.
270
00:14:56,940 --> 00:14:58,980
My name's on nothing.
271
00:15:02,153 --> 00:15:04,163
Your brand is.
272
00:15:07,450 --> 00:15:09,040
Wolves were sacred to the Mohawk
273
00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:11,285
long before I got here.
274
00:15:11,288 --> 00:15:14,868
I just need to talk to Acona
about the new inventory.
275
00:15:14,874 --> 00:15:17,884
Fall is all about beavers.
276
00:15:19,421 --> 00:15:21,380
You're doing it again.
You're gonna get us caught.
277
00:15:30,765 --> 00:15:32,555
Wolf, you promised...
278
00:15:32,559 --> 00:15:34,478
Josh I'm gonna stop you right there.
279
00:15:34,479 --> 00:15:36,687
Selling fur is all about
building relationships,
280
00:15:36,688 --> 00:15:38,768
So, yes, when I come to the post,
281
00:15:38,773 --> 00:15:40,524
I kibitz a bit.
282
00:15:40,525 --> 00:15:42,484
As Lew Wasserman said,
283
00:15:42,485 --> 00:15:43,735
"Every conversation
284
00:15:43,737 --> 00:15:45,857
is a business meeting in disguise."
285
00:15:45,864 --> 00:15:47,823
But don't you worry about me.
286
00:15:47,824 --> 00:15:50,743
I learned my lesson with Dasha.
287
00:15:50,744 --> 00:15:54,288
That's why I've only
been taking illiterate lovers.
288
00:15:54,289 --> 00:15:57,708
Wolf, that was not
the lesson, and you know it.
289
00:15:57,709 --> 00:15:59,589
Shall we go see the medicine woman?
290
00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:01,126
Okay.
291
00:16:01,129 --> 00:16:03,469
Don't push me. Don't push me.
292
00:16:12,849 --> 00:16:17,186
She says it's not your leg
that's the source of your pain.
293
00:16:17,187 --> 00:16:19,687
Of course it is. What else would it be?
294
00:16:24,069 --> 00:16:26,528
A spiritual crisis.
295
00:16:26,529 --> 00:16:30,529
What? That's ridiculous.
296
00:16:32,369 --> 00:16:34,999
What would be the nature of that crisis,
297
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,076
in her opinion?
298
00:16:46,132 --> 00:16:49,718
Did she just say something profound?
299
00:16:49,719 --> 00:16:52,679
She always does.
300
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,307
Speak freely.
301
00:16:55,308 --> 00:16:59,058
This is a judgment-free yurt.
302
00:17:01,689 --> 00:17:04,729
I've been talking with God
for the last eight months.
303
00:17:06,277 --> 00:17:10,817
He lives inside my ear,
and he tells me what to do.
304
00:17:10,824 --> 00:17:12,034
We're, like, super, super close.
305
00:17:12,035 --> 00:17:14,284
He even has me call him friend.
306
00:17:14,285 --> 00:17:16,155
But right now, we're in, like, a fight,
307
00:17:16,162 --> 00:17:17,996
and I don't know
what to make of it anymore.
308
00:17:17,997 --> 00:17:19,497
I'm starting to think
it's all in my head,
309
00:17:19,499 --> 00:17:21,166
and I'm just going crazy.
310
00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:22,917
Josh, do not go down this road.
311
00:17:22,919 --> 00:17:25,129
Remember the Miracle of the Goo?
312
00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:27,965
Goo? It was a knob.
313
00:17:27,966 --> 00:17:29,925
Okay, I found a knob with my hand.
314
00:17:29,926 --> 00:17:31,336
That's something I could've
done on my own completely.
315
00:17:31,344 --> 00:17:34,064
I'm not an idiot.
316
00:17:36,349 --> 00:17:38,099
Sorry.
317
00:17:38,101 --> 00:17:40,269
It's okay.
318
00:17:40,270 --> 00:17:44,064
What's... tiny ear God saying now?
319
00:17:44,065 --> 00:17:46,605
He's telling me that he's real.
320
00:17:46,609 --> 00:17:49,359
But what kind of God knows
less about the Bible than me?
321
00:17:49,362 --> 00:17:51,530
I mean, isn't he
supposed to be omniscient?
322
00:17:51,531 --> 00:17:53,701
What kind of God would let my
leg get caught in a bear trap?
323
00:17:53,702 --> 00:17:56,700
That's so on you, bro.
324
00:18:00,331 --> 00:18:03,667
Whoa, it's happening.
325
00:18:03,668 --> 00:18:05,377
Don't fight it, Josh.
326
00:18:06,713 --> 00:18:08,714
Let her in.
327
00:18:17,015 --> 00:18:19,885
She's right.
328
00:18:19,893 --> 00:18:21,063
I don't believe in myself.
329
00:18:21,064 --> 00:18:23,604
I am a salmon swimming against a tide
330
00:18:23,605 --> 00:18:25,935
of my own self-doubt.
331
00:18:25,940 --> 00:18:28,900
I created a sky genie
just to give me hope.
332
00:18:28,902 --> 00:18:32,242
Josh, don't abandon me
when we are this close.
333
00:18:32,243 --> 00:18:35,324
You know what, bro?
334
00:18:35,325 --> 00:18:38,285
I'm done.
335
00:18:38,286 --> 00:18:40,704
I release you.
336
00:18:40,705 --> 00:18:42,455
You release me?
337
00:18:42,457 --> 00:18:44,917
You know what? Fine, be that way.
338
00:18:47,629 --> 00:18:50,469
A real God wouldn't have to slam a door.
339
00:18:53,676 --> 00:18:55,676
Hello?
340
00:18:57,806 --> 00:18:59,515
He's gone.
341
00:18:59,516 --> 00:19:00,926
I'm free.
342
00:19:08,358 --> 00:19:10,108
She's asking if we want to stay
343
00:19:10,109 --> 00:19:12,694
for a shave in a sweat lodge.
344
00:19:12,695 --> 00:19:14,445
Tuesdays are pretty slow around here.
345
00:19:14,447 --> 00:19:16,867
Oh. Yeah, that sounds great.
346
00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:21,995
I feel lighter.
347
00:19:21,996 --> 00:19:23,496
Well, you are lighter.
348
00:19:23,498 --> 00:19:25,457
I usually drop three to four LBs
349
00:19:25,458 --> 00:19:27,538
of a liquid stress after a good schvitz.
350
00:19:27,544 --> 00:19:29,711
Yeah.
351
00:19:29,712 --> 00:19:31,092
Yeah, and you know what?
It was just nice to talk
352
00:19:31,093 --> 00:19:33,298
to somebody who was actually there.
353
00:19:33,299 --> 00:19:36,385
Well, now that you realize
you're never going home,
354
00:19:36,386 --> 00:19:38,386
you can focus on being happy
in the here and now.
355
00:19:38,388 --> 00:19:40,888
I wouldn't say "never."
You know, never say never.
356
00:19:40,890 --> 00:19:42,060
Normally, I'd agree with you,
357
00:19:42,061 --> 00:19:43,888
except in this case.
358
00:19:43,893 --> 00:19:46,728
We are history's most wanted fugitives.
359
00:19:46,729 --> 00:19:49,189
A couple of five-Os
are definitely stationed
360
00:19:49,190 --> 00:19:51,650
outside of every Futturman
household in the universe.
361
00:19:51,651 --> 00:19:55,070
Did tiny ear God give
you a plan to get past them?
362
00:19:55,071 --> 00:19:56,571
No.
363
00:19:56,573 --> 00:19:59,411
I guess he was more of, like,
a big picture sort of God.
364
00:19:59,412 --> 00:20:02,329
Yet another reason
you should've called bullshit.
365
00:20:02,330 --> 00:20:03,708
God is in the details.
366
00:20:03,709 --> 00:20:07,785
Huh. Yeah, I mean, I guess that...
367
00:20:07,792 --> 00:20:09,501
every other Futturman house
368
00:20:09,502 --> 00:20:10,961
would have another version of me.
369
00:20:10,962 --> 00:20:12,762
So you would have to kill
to take their place,
370
00:20:12,763 --> 00:20:15,255
and that's the best-case scenario.
371
00:20:15,258 --> 00:20:18,844
No, more likely, time
constables kill your parents,
372
00:20:18,845 --> 00:20:21,054
turn them into cyborgs,
and use them to torture you.
373
00:20:21,055 --> 00:20:23,845
So in that version
you technically could go home,
374
00:20:23,850 --> 00:20:25,770
but your robot parents would kill you.
375
00:20:25,771 --> 00:20:27,848
Is that what you want, Josh?
376
00:20:27,854 --> 00:20:31,064
Your robot parents to kill you?
377
00:20:31,065 --> 00:20:33,105
No.
378
00:20:34,986 --> 00:20:37,195
Wait.
379
00:20:37,196 --> 00:20:39,615
I've just had an idea
that'll change everything.
380
00:20:39,616 --> 00:20:40,616
Wait? Tell me.
381
00:20:40,617 --> 00:20:43,577
Vegan carnitas.
382
00:20:47,498 --> 00:20:49,288
These are King Boletes.
383
00:20:49,292 --> 00:20:50,672
They have the perfect density
384
00:20:50,673 --> 00:20:54,418
to make faux-Mex taste like "Fuck yes."
385
00:20:54,422 --> 00:20:56,932
So to sum up, you're never going home,
386
00:20:56,933 --> 00:21:00,255
your God is dead,
and taco Tuesday is on.
387
00:21:07,185 --> 00:21:09,595
Whitey, Whitey, Whitey.
388
00:21:09,604 --> 00:21:12,824
Looks like someone's not
smarter than the average bear,
389
00:21:12,825 --> 00:21:15,734
because you've just wandered into a sea
390
00:21:15,735 --> 00:21:20,275
of my very best
391
00:21:20,281 --> 00:21:22,281
traps?
392
00:21:50,770 --> 00:21:53,358
Looks like Tiger's gonna be
a little late.
393
00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:54,936
Just go ahead and start.
394
00:21:54,941 --> 00:21:56,149
Not hungry.
395
00:21:56,150 --> 00:21:59,610
These King Bs marinated for hours.
396
00:21:59,612 --> 00:22:02,656
They bleed like real meat.
397
00:22:02,657 --> 00:22:04,657
Just...
398
00:22:04,659 --> 00:22:05,867
take a bite.
399
00:22:05,868 --> 00:22:07,536
- I don't want to.
- No, just try it.
400
00:22:07,537 --> 00:22:08,787
- Wolf, I don't want to.
- No, just...
401
00:22:08,788 --> 00:22:10,578
Stop it!
402
00:22:10,581 --> 00:22:12,460
Just stop pretending we're family.
403
00:22:12,461 --> 00:22:14,498
I could not be farther away
from my family.
404
00:22:14,502 --> 00:22:15,627
All right, Tiger gets it.
405
00:22:15,628 --> 00:22:17,048
She knows that we're just three people
406
00:22:17,049 --> 00:22:18,505
going insane in the wilderness.
407
00:22:18,506 --> 00:22:22,384
Our only future is running,
and I can't even stand up.
408
00:22:22,385 --> 00:22:25,555
So just leave me alone.
409
00:22:29,017 --> 00:22:30,017
What are you doing?
410
00:22:30,018 --> 00:22:31,977
- Going out.
- Where?
411
00:22:31,978 --> 00:22:34,646
Do you know what I've sacrificed
412
00:22:34,647 --> 00:22:35,897
to support the two of you?
413
00:22:35,898 --> 00:22:39,276
The dreams I've put on hold?
414
00:22:39,277 --> 00:22:41,397
Tell Tiger...
415
00:22:41,404 --> 00:22:42,863
I went out to buy a mirror.
416
00:22:42,864 --> 00:22:44,281
What?
417
00:22:44,282 --> 00:22:46,579
It relates to an earlier conversation
418
00:22:46,580 --> 00:22:48,486
that you weren't privy to, but trust me,
419
00:22:48,494 --> 00:22:51,084
it is a devastating retort,
so just tell her.
420
00:22:51,085 --> 00:22:54,166
That you bought a mirror.
421
00:22:54,167 --> 00:22:58,207
No, not in past tense. Just...
422
00:22:58,212 --> 00:22:59,712
say it like I said it.
423
00:22:59,714 --> 00:23:01,304
I'm not your messenger boy.
424
00:23:01,305 --> 00:23:03,049
When are you coming back?
425
00:23:03,051 --> 00:23:05,301
Never.
426
00:23:05,303 --> 00:23:06,643
I give you two days, maybe three,
427
00:23:06,644 --> 00:23:08,597
before those vultures
lose their patience
428
00:23:08,598 --> 00:23:10,348
and start pecking away
at what's left of you.
429
00:23:10,349 --> 00:23:14,349
Now, if you'll excuse me,
daddy's going dancing.
430
00:23:16,981 --> 00:23:18,899
Oh, yeah?
431
00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:20,525
Well...
432
00:23:20,526 --> 00:23:22,356
there's no point in making tacos
433
00:23:22,361 --> 00:23:26,201
if you're in a time period
that doesn't have avocados!
434
00:23:31,245 --> 00:23:32,876
Don't worry, fellas,
435
00:23:32,901 --> 00:23:35,441
your patience will soon be rewarded.
436
00:23:35,466 --> 00:23:38,423
I know you're around here somewhere.
437
00:24:22,130 --> 00:24:24,130
Death cap.
438
00:24:48,781 --> 00:24:51,700
Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry.
439
00:24:51,701 --> 00:24:54,786
I'm so sorry. I knew that you were real.
440
00:24:54,787 --> 00:24:58,367
I don't know why I ever doubted you.
441
00:24:58,374 --> 00:25:00,500
I see it now.
442
00:25:00,501 --> 00:25:01,960
It's clear.
443
00:25:01,961 --> 00:25:05,671
I will yield!
444
00:25:05,673 --> 00:25:09,384
Good. Tell me what I want to hear.
445
00:25:09,385 --> 00:25:12,385
You want me to climb that mountain?
446
00:25:13,848 --> 00:25:15,888
I'll climb that mountain.
447
00:25:15,892 --> 00:25:19,519
Yes, Josh. Now you get it.
448
00:25:58,267 --> 00:26:00,097
I'm coming, God.
449
00:26:00,102 --> 00:26:02,354
Only a few more vertical miles.
450
00:26:02,355 --> 00:26:03,475
Yes, Josh, but go faster.
451
00:26:03,481 --> 00:26:04,606
Dig deep.
452
00:26:04,607 --> 00:26:08,397
- Yeah.
- Life is hard.
453
00:26:08,402 --> 00:26:12,530
Full of violence
and struggle to survive.
454
00:26:12,531 --> 00:26:14,871
It's enough to drive a good man mad.
455
00:26:14,872 --> 00:26:18,787
But I believe this can be
a new world for everyone
456
00:26:18,788 --> 00:26:21,915
where we coexist in peace,
457
00:26:21,916 --> 00:26:24,286
but more importantly...
458
00:26:24,293 --> 00:26:25,627
in prosperity.
459
00:26:25,628 --> 00:26:29,128
That's why we've gathered here
on this historic day
460
00:26:29,131 --> 00:26:31,341
to redraw the map of the New World,
461
00:26:31,342 --> 00:26:34,722
and to sign this lasting
peace and trade agreement.
462
00:26:40,726 --> 00:26:44,436
Everyone who has an interest
in this bountiful new land
463
00:26:44,438 --> 00:26:47,398
is taken care of in this document.
464
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,150
All the tribes of the Northeast,
465
00:26:49,151 --> 00:26:52,151
English, French, Spanish.
466
00:26:52,154 --> 00:26:54,034
And I want to thank our new friends,
467
00:26:54,035 --> 00:26:58,285
the Norse, Japanese, Russians,
468
00:26:58,286 --> 00:27:01,286
whose angel investment
will pay significant returns
469
00:27:01,289 --> 00:27:05,208
as we extend our reach around the globe.
470
00:27:10,256 --> 00:27:13,546
Once again, the world is round.
471
00:27:13,551 --> 00:27:17,721
Yep, that's right. It's a sphere.
472
00:27:17,722 --> 00:27:19,848
Now, come on up here.
473
00:27:19,849 --> 00:27:22,599
Take your ceremonial souvenir pen,
474
00:27:22,601 --> 00:27:26,561
and make your mark on history.
475
00:27:57,011 --> 00:28:00,597
Please, I'm just a humble
backstage power broker.
476
00:28:00,598 --> 00:28:04,225
My presence is to be felt, not seen.
477
00:28:04,226 --> 00:28:07,806
Okay, okay, please.
478
00:28:07,813 --> 00:28:12,150
Making my mark on history is
479
00:28:12,151 --> 00:28:16,071
I guess inevitable.
480
00:28:16,072 --> 00:28:19,579
Just gonna tuck my name
in the corner here, real small.
481
00:28:19,580 --> 00:28:21,575
Guess who killed Whitey?
482
00:28:34,757 --> 00:28:39,467
Turns out, she was a dame.
483
00:28:39,470 --> 00:28:41,800
And so am I.
484
00:29:27,059 --> 00:29:28,599
Of course.
485
00:29:28,602 --> 00:29:30,645
He lives in a humble shack.
486
00:29:30,646 --> 00:29:33,686
He's real. It's all real.
487
00:29:36,485 --> 00:29:39,735
I come to you on my knees,
488
00:29:39,738 --> 00:29:44,158
but I will greet you on my feet.
489
00:30:07,892 --> 00:30:09,934
God?
490
00:30:09,935 --> 00:30:12,975
No, my friend.
491
00:30:20,654 --> 00:30:22,655
Osama Bin Laden?
492
00:30:22,656 --> 00:30:27,035
Guilty as charged.
493
00:30:27,036 --> 00:30:28,995
No.
494
00:30:28,996 --> 00:30:30,746
Oh, no.
495
00:30:30,748 --> 00:30:32,418
Oh, no, no, no.
496
00:30:33,402 --> 00:30:36,603
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com