1 00:00:37,717 --> 00:00:40,429 How can you possibly say she looked better with the dark hair? 2 00:00:40,519 --> 00:00:43,527 She did. The blonde just seemed like she was just trying to be her sister. 3 00:00:43,613 --> 00:00:44,779 The dark hair makes it look like 4 00:00:44,868 --> 00:00:46,532 she's trying too hard not to look like her sister. 5 00:00:46,624 --> 00:00:48,122 Plus, she does not have the nose for dark hair. 6 00:00:48,213 --> 00:00:49,331 What does that mean? 7 00:00:49,426 --> 00:00:52,804 Dark hair is like a giant light-up arrow pointing to what is wrong with you. 8 00:00:52,897 --> 00:00:55,775 Blonde hair, it all sort of blends in, in a haze of beige. 9 00:00:55,866 --> 00:00:58,578 - Nuts! You're nuts! - You're double nuts! 10 00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:01,426 All right! That's it! No more spaghetti and meatballs. 11 00:01:01,511 --> 00:01:03,806 - Moozepa, come get these plates. - Mom! 12 00:01:03,895 --> 00:01:06,309 Every time we have spaghetti and meatballs, you fight. 13 00:01:06,404 --> 00:01:08,984 No, no. We're not fighting. We're just bonding. 14 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:10,662 Grandma, I'm starving. 15 00:01:10,753 --> 00:01:12,501 Take these away. Mr. Gilmore's also. 16 00:01:12,593 --> 00:01:14,174 - Mom, come on. - We won't fight anymore. 17 00:01:14,265 --> 00:01:17,060 No. Spaghetti and meatballs is just too much excitement. 18 00:01:17,151 --> 00:01:19,196 I'm sorry about that. I left work early today 19 00:01:19,284 --> 00:01:23,042 and, apparently, that caused everyone's IQs to drop 60 points. 20 00:01:23,131 --> 00:01:25,808 - My food is gone. - The girls were fighting. 21 00:01:25,933 --> 00:01:27,895 Well, I told you not to serve spaghetti and meatballs. 22 00:01:27,982 --> 00:01:29,896 They always fight when we have spaghetti and meatballs. 23 00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:31,023 That's not true! 24 00:01:31,118 --> 00:01:32,831 We fight just as much when we have Chinese food. 25 00:01:32,917 --> 00:01:34,712 Can we please talk about something besides food? 26 00:01:34,798 --> 00:01:37,010 Starvation? Scurvy? The Donner Party? 27 00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:40,226 - I'm having LASIK surgery on my eyes. - Excellent topic. 28 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:42,732 - LASIK surgery, why? - Well, I hate wearing glasses. 29 00:01:42,827 --> 00:01:44,575 So I found the best doctor on the East Coast, 30 00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:46,499 made an appointment and I'm going in tomorrow. 31 00:01:46,591 --> 00:01:48,505 Personally, I like you with glasses. 32 00:01:48,598 --> 00:01:50,977 It's that whole dirty librarian thing, right, Dad? 33 00:01:51,066 --> 00:01:52,183 I beg your pardon? 34 00:01:52,278 --> 00:01:55,322 Three of the girls in my DAR group had it done already. 35 00:01:55,414 --> 00:01:57,162 I'm actually very excited about it. 36 00:01:57,254 --> 00:01:59,466 - I got Dr. Morris... - The LASIK man. 37 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,886 ...from Dr. Sugarman who is my ear, nose and throat man, 38 00:02:01,980 --> 00:02:04,739 and he said Dr. Morris is brilliant and very, very handsome. 39 00:02:04,823 --> 00:02:05,941 You never told me this. 40 00:02:06,036 --> 00:02:07,832 Well, he just threw it in at the end of the visit. 41 00:02:07,918 --> 00:02:09,666 I think that's incredibly unprofessional. 42 00:02:09,758 --> 00:02:12,302 Richard, he just was saying the man is handsome. 43 00:02:12,392 --> 00:02:14,057 Well, yes. As if it's a selling point. 44 00:02:14,149 --> 00:02:15,896 - It can be. - Hardly. 45 00:02:15,988 --> 00:02:18,450 Everyone knows ugly men make the best doctors. 46 00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:20,204 - That's absurd. - It's a fact. 47 00:02:20,296 --> 00:02:22,377 Marcus Welby was handsome, and George Clooney. 48 00:02:22,470 --> 00:02:23,588 Fake doctors, Mom. 49 00:02:23,683 --> 00:02:25,728 Well, I'm sure they were modeled after real doctors. 50 00:02:25,816 --> 00:02:27,279 I don't want to talk about this anymore. 51 00:02:27,363 --> 00:02:30,955 - He's jealous of Dr. Handsome. - I'm not jealous of Dr. Handsome. 52 00:02:31,043 --> 00:02:32,875 I should go shopping for something new to wear. 53 00:02:32,967 --> 00:02:36,260 You are not going shopping to get something new to wear to Dr. Handsome. 54 00:02:36,353 --> 00:02:37,900 Everyone is a little testy tonight. 55 00:02:37,985 --> 00:02:40,066 Maybe she was right about the spaghetti and meatballs. 56 00:02:40,159 --> 00:02:42,657 Well, let's just talk about something else. 57 00:02:42,752 --> 00:02:44,797 We had lunch with Christopher yesterday. 58 00:02:44,885 --> 00:02:46,263 - You... - Lunch. 59 00:02:46,348 --> 00:02:48,512 - We took him to the club. - Okay, but why? 60 00:02:48,606 --> 00:02:52,067 Because there'd been a lot of tension between us about the tuition incident, 61 00:02:52,161 --> 00:02:54,493 and your mother and I thought it was time for a sit-down. 62 00:02:54,587 --> 00:02:55,704 A sit-down? 63 00:02:55,799 --> 00:02:58,427 What, did you get Clemenza to hide a gun in the bathroom first? 64 00:02:58,517 --> 00:03:00,765 We thought it was time to clear the air. 65 00:03:00,859 --> 00:03:02,738 After all, Christopher is Rory's father, 66 00:03:02,825 --> 00:03:04,989 and we wanted him to know there were no hard feelings. 67 00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:06,165 Really? 68 00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:08,667 Don't get me wrong, we're still not happy about the situation, 69 00:03:08,763 --> 00:03:10,927 but since he's going to be involved in our lives now... 70 00:03:11,021 --> 00:03:14,149 Whoa, whoa. Involved in your lives? How is he involved in your lives? 71 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,655 Well, he's paying for Rory's college. 72 00:03:15,746 --> 00:03:18,041 Yeah, but is he using your pen to write the check? 73 00:03:18,130 --> 00:03:19,247 Of course not. 74 00:03:19,342 --> 00:03:21,091 Then I don't see how he's involved in your lives. 75 00:03:21,183 --> 00:03:22,348 He's involved in her life, but... 76 00:03:22,438 --> 00:03:24,399 Lorelai, will you relax? The lunch went fine. 77 00:03:24,486 --> 00:03:26,115 It was very pleasant and Christopher enjoyed it. 78 00:03:26,201 --> 00:03:28,246 That's right. He apologized for everything. 79 00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:30,379 He knows that we're no longer angry with him, 80 00:03:30,466 --> 00:03:31,798 and we are all friends again. 81 00:03:31,888 --> 00:03:33,054 Well, with friends like these... 82 00:03:33,143 --> 00:03:35,855 And, after lunch, your mother and I began discussing 83 00:03:35,944 --> 00:03:37,526 what we were going to do with all the money 84 00:03:37,616 --> 00:03:39,281 that had been allotted for Rory's tuition. 85 00:03:39,373 --> 00:03:42,918 - And we came up with a brilliant idea. - Oh, yeah? What? 86 00:03:43,012 --> 00:03:45,854 We're going to add some funds from our foundation 87 00:03:45,939 --> 00:03:49,863 and donate the total amount to Yale University in your name. 88 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,785 - What? - That's right. 89 00:03:51,877 --> 00:03:54,172 And we'll make sure it goes for something really important, 90 00:03:54,260 --> 00:03:55,461 like a medical building. 91 00:03:55,556 --> 00:03:57,221 For really handsome doctors. 92 00:03:57,313 --> 00:03:59,727 Whatever it is, I want her name big and prominent. 93 00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:00,905 My name? 94 00:04:00,993 --> 00:04:03,407 The Rory Gilmore Political Science Building. 95 00:04:03,502 --> 00:04:05,749 The Rory Gilmore Anthropology Building. 96 00:04:05,844 --> 00:04:08,257 - Guys... - The Rory Gilmore Cultural Center. 97 00:04:08,352 --> 00:04:10,017 The Rory Gilmore Auditorium. 98 00:04:10,109 --> 00:04:12,952 - Could I interject for just a second? - Go ahead. I dare you. 99 00:04:13,036 --> 00:04:16,081 While I think it's very generous of both of you to wanna do this for me... 100 00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:18,170 The Rory Gilmore Observatory. 101 00:04:18,263 --> 00:04:21,974 ...I still go to Yale, so having something with my name on it might be kind of... 102 00:04:22,069 --> 00:04:24,282 The Rory Gilmore Center for International Affairs. 103 00:04:24,369 --> 00:04:25,701 Oh, wait! 104 00:04:25,791 --> 00:04:27,753 - The Rory Gilmore Library. - And Art Gallery. 105 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:29,172 An Ancient History Museum. 106 00:04:29,262 --> 00:04:31,510 Forget it, kid. Grandma and Grandpa have gone bye-bye. 107 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,185 Or the Rory Gilmore Medical Research Laboratory. 108 00:04:33,276 --> 00:04:35,690 No. That sounds like monkey testing. People will picket. 109 00:05:31,027 --> 00:05:33,905 So, any one of the physical therapists on the list will do, right, Doctor? 110 00:05:33,996 --> 00:05:35,910 - They're all at the same level? - They're all top-notch. 111 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,167 - That's if I need a physical therapist. - Hush, you. 112 00:05:38,261 --> 00:05:41,223 And you say "lots of rest," but is complete bed rest safest? 113 00:05:41,314 --> 00:05:43,776 You cannot confine me to bed. That's a violation of my civil rights. 114 00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:45,447 - Hush, you. - You need to monitor his progress. 115 00:05:45,538 --> 00:05:47,083 Everyone recovers at different speeds. 116 00:05:47,168 --> 00:05:50,046 Okay, and when you say "plenty of fluids," does hot tea count or just water? 117 00:05:50,137 --> 00:05:51,255 He likes hot tea. 118 00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:53,062 You gotta stop talking about me as if I'm not here. 119 00:05:53,149 --> 00:05:54,266 - Logan! - Mom! 120 00:05:54,361 --> 00:05:56,359 Tea's fine. Water and juice are better. 121 00:05:56,452 --> 00:05:57,998 And this wheelchair's absolutely necessary? 122 00:05:58,082 --> 00:06:00,580 - Hospital policy, sir. - Just till you get out of the building. 123 00:06:00,675 --> 00:06:02,839 - Can we at least go faster? - No, you'll get g-forces. 124 00:06:02,933 --> 00:06:05,811 Doctor, can I go home to your house? I think I'd have much more fun there. 125 00:06:05,903 --> 00:06:08,233 You're in good hands. Just call if you have any more questions. 126 00:06:08,328 --> 00:06:10,290 I will. Thank you, Dr. Schultz. 127 00:06:10,377 --> 00:06:13,219 Okay. So, I cut off an old lady with a handicap sticker, 128 00:06:13,304 --> 00:06:15,516 so we got a primo spot right out front. 129 00:06:15,604 --> 00:06:19,030 Colin is meeting us at the apartment to help me get you upstairs and in bed. 130 00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:21,449 And it's a little cold outside, so you might need a scarf. 131 00:06:21,543 --> 00:06:22,744 I should have brought you a scarf. 132 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:24,718 Maybe they have some in the gift shop. I'll go check. 133 00:06:24,804 --> 00:06:26,088 Actually, there's something going on here. 134 00:06:26,184 --> 00:06:27,432 What, your throat? Is it sore? 135 00:06:27,522 --> 00:06:31,400 Should I go get Dr. Schultz? I mean, we're here, we might as well... 136 00:06:31,495 --> 00:06:34,040 Thank you for being who I want to get out of the hospital for. 137 00:06:34,130 --> 00:06:36,341 - You're welcome. - And I'm not cold. I'm fine. 138 00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:37,512 - You promise? - I promise. 139 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,183 Okay, let's go. 140 00:06:39,901 --> 00:06:43,694 - We get to go at my speed. - Wake me when we hit the door. 141 00:06:45,044 --> 00:06:46,458 This is a lawsuit! 142 00:06:46,549 --> 00:06:49,975 You do not fool with people's health and bodies like this! 143 00:06:50,062 --> 00:06:51,941 No, you listen! You! 144 00:06:52,028 --> 00:06:54,656 - Sookie, emergency. I'm crashing. - Fresh pot over there. 145 00:06:54,746 --> 00:06:58,539 You know you wouldn't treat Nicole Kidman like this. Nicole Kidman. 146 00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:01,097 Red hair, tall. Okay, then Julia Roberts. 147 00:07:01,185 --> 00:07:03,648 You wouldn't treat Julia Roberts like this. 148 00:07:03,736 --> 00:07:05,401 Red hair, tall. 149 00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:07,705 Okay, then, Scarlett Johansson. What are you, a shut-in? 150 00:07:07,793 --> 00:07:09,076 Why is he prancing? 151 00:07:09,173 --> 00:07:12,015 I will call my lawyer. And you will hear from him when I do. 152 00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:14,562 Kiss my tush! Damn it! 153 00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,898 You can trust nothing and no one, ever. 154 00:07:16,992 --> 00:07:18,990 - Please, stop that, Michel. - Oh, I cannot. 155 00:07:19,083 --> 00:07:22,176 I cannot stop this for a very, very long time. 156 00:07:22,471 --> 00:07:24,765 I buy milk from the organic dairy down the way. 157 00:07:24,854 --> 00:07:26,817 The nonfat milk has a blue top. Blue! 158 00:07:26,903 --> 00:07:28,450 Today, I find out 159 00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:31,959 that they have accidentally been putting red tops on the nonfat milk 160 00:07:32,047 --> 00:07:33,961 and blue on the two percent. 161 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,099 Two percent! For the last two weeks, 162 00:07:36,187 --> 00:07:40,493 I have been drinking two percent milk in my coffee every single day! 163 00:07:40,578 --> 00:07:41,660 Insert gasp here. 164 00:07:41,749 --> 00:07:44,044 That's two full weeks of two cups of coffee a day. 165 00:07:44,132 --> 00:07:46,178 It used to be one cup but then, suddenly, 166 00:07:46,265 --> 00:07:50,404 the coffee started tasting so good I added an afternoon jolt, 167 00:07:50,488 --> 00:07:54,331 and now I find out I've been consuming an extra billion calories a week. 168 00:07:54,420 --> 00:07:56,667 At least it hasn't affected your ability to do math. 169 00:07:56,761 --> 00:07:58,175 Isn't this bouncing bothering you? 170 00:07:58,267 --> 00:08:00,944 It was, but now it's kind of like having a Beyoncé video on. 171 00:08:01,027 --> 00:08:03,108 Now I have to burn off all these calories 172 00:08:03,201 --> 00:08:06,080 and I have to deal with two percent fat milk withdrawal. 173 00:08:06,171 --> 00:08:07,918 Michel, why didn't you just look on the bottle? 174 00:08:08,010 --> 00:08:12,518 Oh, you just know everything, don't you? You little Miss l-know-everything. 175 00:08:12,903 --> 00:08:14,152 - Hello? - Hey. Got you. 176 00:08:14,241 --> 00:08:17,166 - Yes. You did. - We've been missing each other lately. 177 00:08:17,336 --> 00:08:19,250 Oh, well, things are crazy. 178 00:08:19,343 --> 00:08:22,268 You know, we're totally booked up here and Rory has her finals. 179 00:08:22,354 --> 00:08:23,555 You're helping Rory with her finals? 180 00:08:23,650 --> 00:08:26,363 Moral support. Late night phone calls, that kind of thing. 181 00:08:26,452 --> 00:08:29,295 And, of course, Michel got the wrong milk today, so... 182 00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:31,674 Oh, well, I didn't know about Michel's milk. 183 00:08:31,763 --> 00:08:34,725 Okay, so you heading by the diner today? 184 00:08:34,816 --> 00:08:37,824 No. Can't. There's just too much to do here. 185 00:08:37,910 --> 00:08:40,538 Okay, well, then we'll hook up tonight. 186 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:43,965 Tonight's a staff meeting and attendance is mandatory. 187 00:08:44,267 --> 00:08:45,432 It would look pretty weird 188 00:08:45,521 --> 00:08:47,852 if the person who called the meeting didn't show. 189 00:08:47,946 --> 00:08:49,278 There's a staff meeting tonight? 190 00:08:49,369 --> 00:08:51,366 - Did you know about a staff meeting? - No, I didn't. 191 00:08:51,459 --> 00:08:52,625 I don't have a sitter tonight. 192 00:08:52,714 --> 00:08:54,878 I set up a three-hour session with my trainer tonight. 193 00:08:54,972 --> 00:08:57,054 I'll have to pay full price if I cancel this late. 194 00:08:57,147 --> 00:08:58,394 It's like two zillion dollars. 195 00:08:58,568 --> 00:08:59,686 Staff meeting, huh? 196 00:08:59,781 --> 00:09:01,279 I didn't know you had a staff meeting tonight. 197 00:09:01,370 --> 00:09:02,749 - Did it just come up? - Pretty much. 198 00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,961 - Well, I'm sorry I'm not gonna see you. - Yeah, me, too. 199 00:09:06,221 --> 00:09:08,302 - So, tomorrow? - Sure. Maybe. 200 00:09:08,395 --> 00:09:10,940 - We'll talk in the morning. - Okay. We'll talk in the morning. 201 00:09:11,239 --> 00:09:14,200 Okay. Well, bye. 202 00:09:15,128 --> 00:09:17,805 I have to get a baby-sitter, if there's gonna be a staff meeting tonight. 203 00:09:17,888 --> 00:09:19,766 And Becky, the good one, is at her grandmother's, 204 00:09:19,853 --> 00:09:22,184 so I'll have to use her crazy Goth sister, 205 00:09:22,278 --> 00:09:24,990 who wears the snake around her neck and eats all my Eggos. 206 00:09:25,081 --> 00:09:28,505 - There's no staff meeting tonight, Sookie. - Oh, thank God. 207 00:09:28,593 --> 00:09:31,852 If there's no staff meeting tonight, why did you tell Luke there was? 208 00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:33,853 - I don't wanna get into it. - But is... 209 00:09:33,946 --> 00:09:36,705 Sookie! Just the person I was hoping to see. 210 00:09:37,166 --> 00:09:39,628 - Alone. - Oh. So... 211 00:09:39,716 --> 00:09:41,299 We'll be right back. 212 00:09:42,937 --> 00:09:45,231 Jackson, wait. What is it? 213 00:09:45,655 --> 00:09:48,699 - We need complete privacy for this. - For what? 214 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,284 - Smell me. - What? 215 00:09:50,380 --> 00:09:52,711 Smell me. What do I smell like? 216 00:09:53,391 --> 00:09:56,650 You smell like Jackson and something else. What is that? 217 00:09:56,737 --> 00:10:00,494 - It's not zucchini. It's not sprouts. - It's marijuana. 218 00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:03,504 Yes! Oh, my God, Jackson, why do you smell like marijuana? 219 00:10:03,595 --> 00:10:06,354 You know that back half-acre that I haven't planted for a few years? 220 00:10:06,438 --> 00:10:08,316 Up on the slope, out of sight, out of mind? 221 00:10:08,403 --> 00:10:12,246 Well, I went back there this morning, and it's a giant field of pot. 222 00:10:12,376 --> 00:10:15,004 Every square inch. Hundreds of plantings. 223 00:10:15,094 --> 00:10:17,853 - It looks like Harrison Ford's backyard. - How did this happen? 224 00:10:17,938 --> 00:10:20,067 - The Templeton brothers. - The Templeton brothers. 225 00:10:20,154 --> 00:10:22,449 They must have planted it right before I fired them. 226 00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:25,749 I told them to weed the back half-acre. They're not the smartest of fellas. 227 00:10:25,841 --> 00:10:27,673 They were always listening to the Allman Brothers. 228 00:10:27,765 --> 00:10:30,227 And we should never hire guys that listen to the Allman Brothers. 229 00:10:30,316 --> 00:10:32,814 What are we gonna do? It's a full half-acre of marijuana. 230 00:10:32,909 --> 00:10:35,453 Jackson. We can't keep saying the "m" word. 231 00:10:35,543 --> 00:10:37,957 - It... Someone will overhear. - Right, sorry. 232 00:10:38,052 --> 00:10:41,512 - We need a code word. - How about "evil crop"? 233 00:10:41,816 --> 00:10:43,195 Something more normal. 234 00:10:43,279 --> 00:10:45,742 - How about "pickles"? - Good, we'll say "pickles." 235 00:10:45,830 --> 00:10:48,078 Do you realize that at this moment, we are both felons? 236 00:10:48,172 --> 00:10:50,385 Why? We didn't grow the stuff. The pickles! 237 00:10:50,472 --> 00:10:53,231 - We didn't grow the pickles. - But we're in possession. 238 00:10:53,316 --> 00:10:55,813 If the cops came to my field today, we'd go to jail. 239 00:10:55,908 --> 00:10:58,203 We'd lose everything we own. We'd lose the kids. 240 00:10:58,292 --> 00:10:59,409 All because of pickles. 241 00:10:59,504 --> 00:11:01,087 I'm gonna send my guys home right now. 242 00:11:01,177 --> 00:11:03,591 And I'm gonna single-handedly pull every last pickle out of there. 243 00:11:03,687 --> 00:11:05,649 - Good, yes, good. And do it quick. - I'll try. 244 00:11:05,736 --> 00:11:07,532 - You're sweating. - I'm sorry. I can't help it. 245 00:11:07,618 --> 00:11:09,330 - It makes you look guilty. - I'll try to stop. 246 00:11:09,415 --> 00:11:12,127 We've gotta walk out of this room cool and calm. 247 00:11:12,217 --> 00:11:13,799 Just like it's any other day. 248 00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:15,935 Cool and calm, got it. 249 00:11:20,581 --> 00:11:22,079 Sorry! 250 00:11:24,094 --> 00:11:25,723 I'll get you coffee. 251 00:12:03,654 --> 00:12:04,901 What can I get you, Kirk? 252 00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:06,740 - What do you think? - About what? 253 00:12:06,832 --> 00:12:09,412 - Letting the beard grow. - Nice. What can I get you? 254 00:12:09,508 --> 00:12:12,850 First couple of days it was itching like crazy, but now I'm used to it. 255 00:12:12,937 --> 00:12:15,315 Although, I find myself doing this a lot. 256 00:12:15,404 --> 00:12:16,522 What do you want to eat, Kirk? 257 00:12:16,617 --> 00:12:19,245 Last weekend I accidentally wrote all over my face with a Sharpie, 258 00:12:19,335 --> 00:12:21,963 and Lulu thought it looked kind of sexy. That's where I got the idea. 259 00:12:22,053 --> 00:12:25,097 It looks really good, Kirk. Now, can I take your order? 260 00:12:25,189 --> 00:12:26,819 I'll come back. 261 00:12:26,988 --> 00:12:29,700 - Big brother! - Hey, you're back, huh? 262 00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,252 - I'm back. - How was the fair? 263 00:12:31,336 --> 00:12:34,346 Oh, amazing! My jewelry's bigger than ever. 264 00:12:34,431 --> 00:12:36,429 I make it, it sells. 265 00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:40,400 I got all this money now, but I got no idea what to do with it. Not a clue. 266 00:12:40,495 --> 00:12:42,909 - How about putting it in a bank? - There's a thought. 267 00:12:43,004 --> 00:12:45,085 Hey, let me tell you my big, exciting news. 268 00:12:45,178 --> 00:12:46,724 - Uh-oh. - It's not an "uh-oh," it's good. 269 00:12:46,810 --> 00:12:49,569 Unless you don't like babies. In which case, it's not so good. 270 00:12:49,653 --> 00:12:50,818 You're pregnant? 271 00:12:50,907 --> 00:12:52,739 Oh, it was supposed to be a surprise. Who told you? 272 00:12:52,831 --> 00:12:55,126 - You just did. - Wow. I blew my own surprise. 273 00:12:55,215 --> 00:12:57,129 That's great, Liz! It's great, right? 274 00:12:57,222 --> 00:12:59,136 Amazing. I am over the moon. 275 00:12:59,229 --> 00:13:01,905 No, oh, sit. Sit, you're in a delicate state. 276 00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:05,665 I am gonna take care of myself this time, big brother. 277 00:13:05,753 --> 00:13:09,261 I'm gonna do all the healthy things for me I did not do last time I was pregnant. 278 00:13:09,349 --> 00:13:11,561 - Like not binge drink. - Good plan. 279 00:13:11,649 --> 00:13:14,277 So where's T.J.? I mean, he must be thrilled about this. 280 00:13:14,367 --> 00:13:15,569 - Oh, he's gone. - Gone? 281 00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:16,829 What do you mean gone? Out of town? 282 00:13:16,918 --> 00:13:20,379 Well, he's gone. The big gone. Out of my life. You got matzo brei? 283 00:13:20,473 --> 00:13:24,016 - What? Liz. No. - Okay how about a Denver omelet? 284 00:13:24,111 --> 00:13:26,524 No. I mean, no, T.J. can't be gone. He's your husband. 285 00:13:26,620 --> 00:13:29,034 Since when does that keep guys from leaving? 286 00:13:29,129 --> 00:13:31,127 - He's left you? - He's left. 287 00:13:31,345 --> 00:13:33,925 How can you be so calm about this? You're so calm. 288 00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:36,353 Because I got my new come-what-may philosophy. 289 00:13:36,447 --> 00:13:38,195 - Your what? - My philosophy. 290 00:13:38,287 --> 00:13:41,546 It's about accepting what comes your way, whatever it is. 291 00:13:41,632 --> 00:13:44,212 If a bus is heading right at you, let it come. 292 00:13:44,309 --> 00:13:48,864 If a piece of space junk comes hurtling down at you, let it come. 293 00:13:48,951 --> 00:13:50,116 Or you step out of the way. 294 00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:53,880 You know, that's probably better, and when I said what I said now, it felt wrong. 295 00:13:53,969 --> 00:13:56,264 - Did he know you were pregnant? - I'd just told him. 296 00:13:56,352 --> 00:13:58,397 So he ran out on his wife and child? 297 00:13:58,485 --> 00:14:01,744 - Luke, you're getting mad over nothing. - It's not nothing. 298 00:14:01,830 --> 00:14:03,875 Well, I need you to stay calm, 299 00:14:03,963 --> 00:14:07,257 because right now it's all about the baby. 300 00:14:07,350 --> 00:14:09,930 And it's all good. Really. 301 00:14:11,072 --> 00:14:12,320 Come what may. 302 00:14:12,410 --> 00:14:14,742 All right, fine. Whatever. It's all good. 303 00:14:14,836 --> 00:14:17,880 - Now, baby and I would like that omelet. - Coming up. 304 00:14:20,773 --> 00:14:24,651 - Metaphase, anaphase, telophase. - Paris? 305 00:14:24,746 --> 00:14:26,828 - Male reproductive tract. - What? 306 00:14:26,921 --> 00:14:30,215 Seven up: seminiferous tubules, epididymis, vas deferens, 307 00:14:30,308 --> 00:14:33,317 ejaculatory duct, nothing, urethra, penis. 308 00:14:33,402 --> 00:14:35,697 - What are you doing? - Boning up. Pardon the pun. 309 00:14:35,786 --> 00:14:37,749 Got my MCATs coming up. Medical school? 310 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,880 - I meant, what are you doing here? - Looking after you. 311 00:14:39,968 --> 00:14:41,716 - Oh, goody. - It's necessary. 312 00:14:41,808 --> 00:14:44,020 You seem like the kind of lunkhead that would get up too soon 313 00:14:44,108 --> 00:14:46,355 and inadvertently push a broken rib bone into his spleen. 314 00:14:46,449 --> 00:14:47,864 Well, hey there, sleepyhead. 315 00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:50,583 - Oh, goody, a matching set. - You sleep well? 316 00:14:50,673 --> 00:14:52,755 - He's watching me, too? - Rory said it would be okay. 317 00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:55,524 Hey, now that you're awake, you mind if I switch the TV to the speakers? 318 00:14:55,608 --> 00:14:57,273 They're just about to reunite with their husbands 319 00:14:57,365 --> 00:14:59,160 and I'd love to get the full surround experience. 320 00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:00,412 - Who? - The penguins. 321 00:15:00,501 --> 00:15:02,629 - You haven't seen the penguin movie? - The penguin movie rocks. 322 00:15:02,717 --> 00:15:04,881 They'll move you, my friend. So, is it okay? 323 00:15:06,522 --> 00:15:07,688 Great. 324 00:15:07,777 --> 00:15:09,405 Whoa! Whoa! Where do you think you're going, cowboy? 325 00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:10,906 - Nature calls. - You can't get up. 326 00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:13,756 Rory said you need complete bed rest. She trusted me with your well-being. 327 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:14,958 I cannot betray that trust. 328 00:15:15,054 --> 00:15:17,134 Then what's your suggestion for my current predicament? 329 00:15:17,227 --> 00:15:19,689 - I'll get the bedpan. Where's your bedpan? - I don't have a bedpan. 330 00:15:19,778 --> 00:15:21,027 - You got Tupperware? - Paris! 331 00:15:21,117 --> 00:15:23,162 - Doyle! Watch him! - Pausing! 332 00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:31,310 - Hey, why aren't you asleep? - Because I woke up. 333 00:15:31,404 --> 00:15:33,533 - You're supposed to be asleep. - I've been asleep for a week. 334 00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:35,452 My body is bored of sleep. It wants to do something. 335 00:15:35,544 --> 00:15:37,340 Well, good thing your body has no say in the matter. 336 00:15:37,425 --> 00:15:40,184 - Hey, boss, you're gonna wanna see this. - Hold on a sec. 337 00:15:40,269 --> 00:15:42,731 - You've got to call off your sentries. - They're there for a reason. 338 00:15:42,820 --> 00:15:44,734 To re-enact their favorite scenes from Misery? 339 00:15:44,827 --> 00:15:47,789 - Your kitchen needs organizing! - Yeah, I'll get right on that. 340 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,628 You shouldn't talk loudly. You'll strain something. 341 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:52,134 I've got Deena and Moshe Abromowitz on top of me. 342 00:15:52,229 --> 00:15:53,347 Why is Paris in the kitchen? 343 00:15:53,442 --> 00:15:55,987 - Oh, she's looking for a bedpan substitute. - Oh, dear. 344 00:15:56,077 --> 00:15:58,705 - You're really gonna want to see this. - Just leave it, Bill. 345 00:15:58,795 --> 00:16:00,839 But I wanna see the look on your face when you read it. 346 00:16:00,928 --> 00:16:03,055 Provided you still have a face after your head explodes. 347 00:16:03,143 --> 00:16:04,178 In a sec. 348 00:16:04,273 --> 00:16:05,854 Rory, look, I love your concern for me. 349 00:16:05,945 --> 00:16:07,609 I love that you're so invested in my well-being. 350 00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:10,246 But even the doctor said that if I feel strong enough to move around, 351 00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:11,454 then I should do it. It's good for me. 352 00:16:11,549 --> 00:16:13,797 I don't know that that doctor knows what he's talking about. 353 00:16:13,891 --> 00:16:16,102 You mean the Johns Hopkins graduate knows less than you? 354 00:16:16,191 --> 00:16:19,533 I'd kill to get into Johns Hopkins. Here, patient's choice. 355 00:16:19,662 --> 00:16:21,707 - Oh, okay if I un-pause? - Un-pause. 356 00:16:21,794 --> 00:16:23,078 Here come the penguins. 357 00:16:23,174 --> 00:16:26,517 Look, maybe the doctor knows a little bit of what he's talking about... 358 00:16:26,604 --> 00:16:27,685 You think? 359 00:16:27,774 --> 00:16:29,938 So, I guess, get up, but super slow. 360 00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:32,411 It should look like a Monty Python routine, you're moving so slow. 361 00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:33,665 I'll make John Cleese proud. 362 00:16:33,754 --> 00:16:36,298 And let Doyle help you. At least the first time. You could get dizzy. 363 00:16:36,388 --> 00:16:37,672 I'll let him help me to the bathroom door, 364 00:16:37,769 --> 00:16:39,565 - but I've got to take it from there, Ace. - Fine. 365 00:16:39,651 --> 00:16:42,029 I cannot look at the shot of the dead baby penguin. 366 00:16:42,118 --> 00:16:44,115 Me, neither. Dead people, yes. Not penguins. 367 00:16:44,208 --> 00:16:45,326 You'll deal with Paris? 368 00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:46,503 - Put her on. - Thank you. 369 00:16:46,592 --> 00:16:47,876 - Paris. - Can I look? 370 00:16:47,972 --> 00:16:49,887 - We're clear. We're clear. - Please, talk to Rory. 371 00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:51,775 What is so important about The Wall Street Journal? 372 00:16:51,861 --> 00:16:53,276 - Oh, you'll see. - Hey. 373 00:16:53,367 --> 00:16:54,651 - Stand down. - What? 374 00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:55,912 Thank you for sitting with him, 375 00:16:56,001 --> 00:16:57,964 but I think he needs a little less hovering right now. 376 00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:00,345 - Warren Beatty, Jr., smooth-talk you? - No. 377 00:17:00,434 --> 00:17:02,563 Even the doctor said he should be moving around some. 378 00:17:02,650 --> 00:17:05,064 - I think I've been a little overprotective. - Your call. 379 00:17:05,159 --> 00:17:07,073 Have Doyle lend him a shoulder right now, okay? 380 00:17:07,166 --> 00:17:10,461 - Fine. Doyle, give Logan your shoulder. - You got it. 381 00:17:10,721 --> 00:17:13,266 - See you soon-ish? - Just finishing up here. 382 00:17:13,648 --> 00:17:16,027 Mi shoulder es su shoulder. 383 00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:20,748 Hey, this is very life-affirming. Very penguinesque. 384 00:17:20,841 --> 00:17:23,219 With the soundtrack music playing like that? 385 00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:25,521 - Hurry here soon-ish. - I will. 386 00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:29,907 - What is it? - I highlighted the appropriate section. 387 00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:36,262 Oh, it's going to be a quiet, slow-burning seethe. 388 00:17:36,732 --> 00:17:38,314 Disappointment. 389 00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:42,830 Thanks. 390 00:17:44,719 --> 00:17:46,217 Right this way, you two. 391 00:17:46,308 --> 00:17:49,102 We are having beautiful weather today, no? 392 00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:50,990 Let's leave your bags here 393 00:17:51,075 --> 00:17:53,870 with the ever-trustworthy William 394 00:17:53,961 --> 00:17:57,719 and take a little tour of the inn. 395 00:17:58,184 --> 00:18:00,063 Okay? Right this way. 396 00:18:00,233 --> 00:18:05,204 We have one of the finest restaurants in the area. 397 00:18:06,506 --> 00:18:08,301 - Hello? - How soon can you get here? 398 00:18:08,387 --> 00:18:10,266 - What? - How soon can you get here? 399 00:18:10,353 --> 00:18:12,267 - Mom, where are you? - Home, of course. 400 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:13,907 Where else would I be after what happened? 401 00:18:13,992 --> 00:18:15,655 - What happened? - What happened? 402 00:18:15,747 --> 00:18:16,913 Yes, what happened? 403 00:18:17,002 --> 00:18:19,416 The thing with my eye. What else would I be talking about? 404 00:18:19,511 --> 00:18:22,091 - You're talking about the laser? - The bad LASIK. 405 00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:23,305 The LASIK went bad? 406 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,482 Your father called you. Tell me he called you. 407 00:18:25,575 --> 00:18:27,371 - Hold on a sec, Mom. - Lorelai! 408 00:18:27,457 --> 00:18:29,669 - Hello. - Lorelai, it's your father. 409 00:18:29,757 --> 00:18:32,765 I'm unconscionably late with this call. Blame South Dakota. 410 00:18:32,851 --> 00:18:33,968 Dad, what is going on here? 411 00:18:34,064 --> 00:18:37,358 Your mother's eye surgery went badly. She's all right, but she can't see a thing. 412 00:18:37,451 --> 00:18:41,078 - Well, that doesn't sound all right to me. - It's only temporary. She's on painkillers. 413 00:18:41,172 --> 00:18:43,301 I would have been there myself, but I was called out of town. 414 00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:47,100 Have you ever been to South Dakota? It's the most boring state in the nation. 415 00:18:47,195 --> 00:18:48,396 As I was flying in, 416 00:18:48,491 --> 00:18:51,618 I swear I saw one of the heads on Mount Rushmore yawn. 417 00:18:51,752 --> 00:18:54,928 - She's asking how soon I can be there. - Well, that's why I'm calling. 418 00:18:55,015 --> 00:18:57,774 I left her with a battery of help, but in case it didn't work out, 419 00:18:57,858 --> 00:18:59,987 she wanted me to give you a heads-up that she might need you. 420 00:19:00,075 --> 00:19:01,656 Well, I don't know if I can get away. 421 00:19:01,747 --> 00:19:04,625 It's her eyes, Lorelai. She can't do anything or go anywhere. 422 00:19:04,717 --> 00:19:06,512 I understand the importance of eyes, Dad. 423 00:19:06,598 --> 00:19:08,929 I got caught up in meetings or I would have called sooner. 424 00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:11,152 You wouldn't believe where I'm sitting right now. 425 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,248 One of South Dakota's finest hotels. Smells like a foot. 426 00:19:14,334 --> 00:19:16,379 Let me get back to her, Dad. She's on the other line. 427 00:19:16,467 --> 00:19:18,299 If you could cover for me, I'd appreciate it. 428 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:20,935 If she found out I didn't call you, it'd make everything worse. 429 00:19:21,025 --> 00:19:22,857 - Okay, you got it. - And check in with me later. 430 00:19:22,949 --> 00:19:24,197 Yeah. 431 00:19:24,287 --> 00:19:26,534 - Mom? - Was that your father? Did he not call you? 432 00:19:26,628 --> 00:19:28,627 No, Dad called, I was just distracted before. 433 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:29,920 So, you need me to pop over? 434 00:19:30,015 --> 00:19:33,191 I'm all alone here and I desperately need to run a couple of errands. 435 00:19:33,278 --> 00:19:34,395 And there's no one else? 436 00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:37,368 I don't remember being in labor for 14 hours with anyone else, 437 00:19:37,459 --> 00:19:40,337 - so no, there's no one else. - Okay. I'll be over. 438 00:19:40,428 --> 00:19:44,187 - I'll be waiting. Blind and waiting. - Okay, bye. 439 00:19:51,134 --> 00:19:52,881 I don't believe it, I don't believe it! 440 00:19:52,973 --> 00:19:54,852 Who knew that clearing it would be the easy part? 441 00:19:54,939 --> 00:19:57,317 I had it all down in three hours, no problem. 442 00:19:57,406 --> 00:19:58,573 I don't believe it! 443 00:19:58,661 --> 00:20:02,003 What was I to do? If I put it in the garbage, the garbage man could see it. 444 00:20:02,090 --> 00:20:04,468 I know and he looks like a big fat fink. 445 00:20:04,557 --> 00:20:07,482 And if I put it down the garbage disposal, it could clog. 446 00:20:07,568 --> 00:20:10,148 We'd have to call a plumber, and then he could fink on us. 447 00:20:10,244 --> 00:20:13,705 And he would, too. That guy seems like big fat fatty fink. 448 00:20:13,799 --> 00:20:15,595 We can't flush it for the same reason. 449 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,059 And burning it seemed like a tremendously dumb idea. 450 00:20:18,148 --> 00:20:19,611 You'd get the whole town high. 451 00:20:19,695 --> 00:20:22,704 - So what was I to do? - Anything but bring it home. 452 00:20:22,790 --> 00:20:25,632 - Then come up with your own idea. - Well, I could bake it into brownies. 453 00:20:25,717 --> 00:20:28,095 - Then what do we do with the brownies? - I have no idea. 454 00:20:28,184 --> 00:20:29,849 I think that makes it a bad plan. 455 00:20:29,941 --> 00:20:32,521 Is it a better plan than the plan you couldn't even think of? 456 00:20:32,617 --> 00:20:33,782 At least it's a plan. 457 00:20:33,871 --> 00:20:36,369 Hey, we can't turn on each other here. We're all we've got. 458 00:20:36,464 --> 00:20:37,879 You're right, you're right! 459 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,849 Hey, it's starting to smell up the place. 460 00:20:39,935 --> 00:20:41,481 We've just got to get it out of the house. 461 00:20:41,566 --> 00:20:45,027 Definitely. Out of the house. We'll get it out of the house. 462 00:20:45,539 --> 00:20:47,168 But we wait for dark. 463 00:20:48,466 --> 00:20:50,095 Wait for dark. 464 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:51,888 I could kill him. 465 00:20:51,979 --> 00:20:53,477 You'd have to get in a very long line. 466 00:20:53,568 --> 00:20:54,686 The man should be drawn and quartered. 467 00:20:54,781 --> 00:20:56,112 There's no FASTPASS for the line either, 468 00:20:56,202 --> 00:20:57,368 you just got to get in there and wait. 469 00:20:57,457 --> 00:21:00,216 Quartering's too good for him. He should be eighthed, sixteenthed. 470 00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:02,215 I don't know, you quarter a guy, he's in four pieces. 471 00:21:02,308 --> 00:21:03,425 That's tough to recover from. 472 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:05,982 He should be stretched on a rack, iron-maidened, strappadoed. 473 00:21:06,071 --> 00:21:07,700 Oh, my God, what is "strappadoed"? 474 00:21:07,786 --> 00:21:09,069 When you suspend him in the air, 475 00:21:09,165 --> 00:21:11,330 with a rope tied to his hands that are tied behind his back. 476 00:21:11,424 --> 00:21:13,053 You're scaring me with your knowledge of torture. 477 00:21:13,139 --> 00:21:14,339 I did a paper on the Attorney General. 478 00:21:14,434 --> 00:21:16,397 - It comes with the territory. - Life in modern America. 479 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,113 Why would The Wall Street Journal print this? 480 00:21:18,199 --> 00:21:20,029 - Why? - It was an interview with my father. 481 00:21:20,122 --> 00:21:21,584 If he said it to them, they get to print it. 482 00:21:21,669 --> 00:21:23,714 - Even if it's a flat-out lie? - They don't know that. 483 00:21:23,802 --> 00:21:26,846 "I look for the best and the brightest, even at the intern level." 484 00:21:26,938 --> 00:21:28,651 Reading it again, you're just torturing yourself. 485 00:21:28,736 --> 00:21:30,068 "Ben Cochran at Harvard, 486 00:21:30,158 --> 00:21:33,084 "he helped me out with my Boston paper, as did Frank Williams. 487 00:21:33,169 --> 00:21:37,129 "And Rory Gilmore, I gave her her first internship at my Stamford paper, 488 00:21:37,225 --> 00:21:39,805 "and now she's editor of the Yale Daily News." 489 00:21:39,901 --> 00:21:40,984 It's classic Mitchum. 490 00:21:41,073 --> 00:21:43,832 How dare he? "I gave her her first internship"? 491 00:21:43,916 --> 00:21:45,414 This is one of Dad's things, Rory, 492 00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:47,836 grabbing credit wherever he can, whether it's earned or not. 493 00:21:47,930 --> 00:21:49,310 Everyone in America has read this. 494 00:21:49,394 --> 00:21:50,893 The Wall Street Journal's readership is high, 495 00:21:50,984 --> 00:21:52,362 but it's not quite 300 million. 496 00:21:52,447 --> 00:21:53,613 Well, enough people have read it. 497 00:21:53,702 --> 00:21:55,497 Look, the beauty of the daily paper, 498 00:21:55,583 --> 00:21:57,379 it's in everybody's recycling bin the next morning. 499 00:21:57,465 --> 00:21:59,094 - This will totally be forgotten. - It won't. 500 00:21:59,180 --> 00:22:01,178 - It will. - I remember everything I read. 501 00:22:01,271 --> 00:22:03,434 Front page, op-ed, concert reviews, it never leaves. 502 00:22:03,529 --> 00:22:06,741 My eyes accidentally flit over an obituary as I'm hunting for the metro section, 503 00:22:06,833 --> 00:22:10,424 and I can remember the deceased's first wife's name a full month afterward. 504 00:22:10,512 --> 00:22:12,974 I mean, and that's just a flit, not even a perusal. 505 00:22:13,063 --> 00:22:14,146 If I perused it, 506 00:22:14,234 --> 00:22:17,077 I could give you his grandkids in alphabetical order, five years later. 507 00:22:17,161 --> 00:22:19,493 - Ace, Ace, you drinking this in? - What? 508 00:22:19,587 --> 00:22:21,632 Helen Keller just signed "water," Annie. 509 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:23,301 - You walked? - All by my lonesome. 510 00:22:23,392 --> 00:22:25,604 - You proud of your boy? - I'm very proud. 511 00:22:25,692 --> 00:22:28,570 Oh, and you color's coming back. You've gone from white to off-white. 512 00:22:28,661 --> 00:22:30,623 Hey, can we get to the bottom line on this article here? 513 00:22:30,710 --> 00:22:32,089 - Give it to me. - It's all good. 514 00:22:32,174 --> 00:22:33,636 It's very positive, what he said to you. 515 00:22:33,721 --> 00:22:35,849 A powerful man is citing you as one of his accomplishments. 516 00:22:35,937 --> 00:22:37,484 - It's in no way a diss. - I know. 517 00:22:37,568 --> 00:22:39,567 It's actually a good thing. So you should let it go. 518 00:22:39,660 --> 00:22:40,860 Never. 519 00:22:45,012 --> 00:22:46,426 Hello? 520 00:22:50,908 --> 00:22:52,157 Mom? 521 00:22:52,581 --> 00:22:53,864 In here. 522 00:22:54,504 --> 00:22:57,680 Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Onassis, I was looking for my mother. 523 00:22:57,767 --> 00:22:58,967 Will you at least promise 524 00:22:59,062 --> 00:23:02,322 to keep your comedy set at my funeral to under five minutes? 525 00:23:02,409 --> 00:23:04,453 - Sorry, Mom. How are you feeling? - Horrible. 526 00:23:04,540 --> 00:23:07,217 That quack eye surgeon blinded me for life. 527 00:23:07,301 --> 00:23:08,680 All right, I don't think he blinded you for life. 528 00:23:08,764 --> 00:23:11,344 Well, he blinded me for the next two days at least. 529 00:23:11,441 --> 00:23:13,237 The procedure was a disaster. 530 00:23:13,323 --> 00:23:14,868 He did one eye and then announced 531 00:23:14,953 --> 00:23:17,534 that the new procedure didn't comport to the anatomy of my eye. 532 00:23:17,630 --> 00:23:20,758 So he had to resort to the old procedure, which I absolutely did not want. 533 00:23:20,850 --> 00:23:22,514 Because it's so last year. 534 00:23:22,606 --> 00:23:24,318 And, of course, he wouldn't go near the other eye 535 00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:25,736 until he saw how this one healed. 536 00:23:25,826 --> 00:23:26,991 Well, that makes sense. 537 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,579 And then Dr. Mengele told me to rest 538 00:23:28,670 --> 00:23:30,715 and is having me put eye drops in every hour, 539 00:23:30,803 --> 00:23:32,348 further impeding my vision. 540 00:23:32,433 --> 00:23:35,358 And, to top it off, the man looked nothing like Marcus Welby. 541 00:23:35,445 --> 00:23:37,525 - Okay, Mom, where are all the people? - What people? 542 00:23:37,618 --> 00:23:40,377 Well, Dad made it seem like you were surrounded by a small army. 543 00:23:40,462 --> 00:23:43,757 You know, enough people to care for you then go topple Saddam's statue. 544 00:23:43,850 --> 00:23:45,561 - They're all gone. - Gone where? 545 00:23:45,648 --> 00:23:48,491 To hell, I hope. One person more incompetent than the rest. 546 00:23:48,575 --> 00:23:50,371 But all of them? The nurse? 547 00:23:50,456 --> 00:23:53,036 They'll do a 60 Minutes on that woman one day, mark my words. 548 00:23:53,133 --> 00:23:55,595 - The housekeepers? - Ate everything that wasn't nailed down. 549 00:23:55,683 --> 00:23:56,850 The errand boys? 550 00:23:56,938 --> 00:23:59,067 Their pants hung down below their underwear. 551 00:23:59,155 --> 00:24:01,653 And no one was worse than the driver he got me. 552 00:24:01,748 --> 00:24:03,376 Have you ever met the cab drivers in Prague? 553 00:24:03,461 --> 00:24:04,496 No. 554 00:24:04,591 --> 00:24:06,423 Well, they would hide their wallets from this man. 555 00:24:06,515 --> 00:24:10,189 - Plus, I think he had a gun in his pocket. - Maybe he was just happy to see you. 556 00:24:10,278 --> 00:24:11,825 Lorelai, up. 557 00:24:13,122 --> 00:24:14,501 It doesn't matter, anyhow. 558 00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:17,262 I'm fine getting my own food, and I don't need people underfoot. 559 00:24:17,346 --> 00:24:20,307 I called the agency and a new maid will be here tomorrow morning. 560 00:24:20,398 --> 00:24:22,063 But I need to run some errands today, 561 00:24:22,155 --> 00:24:24,283 and obviously I can't drive. You'll have to do that. 562 00:24:24,371 --> 00:24:25,572 - Do what? - Drive me. 563 00:24:25,667 --> 00:24:28,925 No, Mom! Why don't you just give me the list of errands and I'll do them for you? 564 00:24:29,013 --> 00:24:31,510 No. It would take too much explanation. Grab my bag, please. 565 00:24:31,606 --> 00:24:33,983 Mom, seriously, what kind of errands are they? 566 00:24:34,072 --> 00:24:35,904 Shopping? Banking? Hardware store? 567 00:24:35,996 --> 00:24:37,910 I need to get my coat first. 568 00:24:38,129 --> 00:24:42,768 Mom, is it dealing in human trafficking? 'Cause I am an excellent people person. 569 00:24:47,622 --> 00:24:49,667 Mom, Mom. You've gotta look up. 570 00:24:49,755 --> 00:24:52,299 I can't look up. The sun causes searing pain. 571 00:24:52,389 --> 00:24:54,303 Mom, the sun can't even find you under that hat. 572 00:24:54,396 --> 00:24:57,571 If we put that hat on Frosty the Snowman, he'd be living in Miami right now. 573 00:24:57,658 --> 00:24:59,656 You're a very insensitive person, you know that? 574 00:24:59,749 --> 00:25:02,080 - Yes, I do. Here we go. - What is this? 575 00:25:02,174 --> 00:25:04,005 - This is my car. - We can't go in this. 576 00:25:04,097 --> 00:25:05,762 - We have to take the other car. - What other car? 577 00:25:05,854 --> 00:25:08,066 No, Mom, that's not a car. It's a rap video set. 578 00:25:08,154 --> 00:25:11,163 I ordered it specially. It has the darkest windows available. 579 00:25:11,248 --> 00:25:13,627 They say it's the car Jay-Z uses when he's in town. 580 00:25:13,716 --> 00:25:15,928 I assume that's an entertainer of some sort. 581 00:25:16,016 --> 00:25:17,478 The windows are bulletproof. 582 00:25:17,563 --> 00:25:19,359 They kept saying that as if it's a selling point. 583 00:25:19,445 --> 00:25:22,203 I told them I was not paying extra for bulletproof windows. 584 00:25:22,288 --> 00:25:24,786 - I haven't been strafed in years. - Mom, I don't understand. 585 00:25:24,881 --> 00:25:26,213 What do you mean, "We'll take this car"? 586 00:25:26,303 --> 00:25:27,802 - I thought the driver left. - He did. 587 00:25:27,892 --> 00:25:29,438 - Well, is there another one driver coming? - No. 588 00:25:29,523 --> 00:25:31,437 - Well, who's gonna drive? - You are. 589 00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:32,993 - I can't drive that. - Why not? 590 00:25:33,078 --> 00:25:35,956 Because, look at it. I'm sure you need a special license or something. 591 00:25:36,047 --> 00:25:40,006 Lorelai, I cannot ride in your Jeep. It's completely exposed to the elements. 592 00:25:40,102 --> 00:25:42,647 You do remember that I'm recovering from surgery, don't you? 593 00:25:42,737 --> 00:25:44,200 No, really? I thought you were just doing 594 00:25:44,285 --> 00:25:46,449 your best Mia Farrow in Broadway Danny Rose impersonation. 595 00:25:46,543 --> 00:25:48,339 Lorelai, I need my prescriptions. 596 00:25:48,425 --> 00:25:50,970 If I don't get my prescriptions, infection will set in 597 00:25:51,059 --> 00:25:52,723 and I will lose my eyesight completely, 598 00:25:52,815 --> 00:25:55,063 and you will be doing this more than just today. 599 00:25:55,157 --> 00:25:56,953 Now, what's it going to be? 600 00:25:58,670 --> 00:26:01,002 Ridiculous, Sarah Bernhardt, overdramatic... 601 00:26:01,096 --> 00:26:03,938 - My hearing's just fine, Lorelai. - Sorry. 602 00:26:18,784 --> 00:26:21,246 - Hey, Luke. What are you doing here? - You know why I'm here. Get up. 603 00:26:21,335 --> 00:26:22,417 - What? - Get up! 604 00:26:22,506 --> 00:26:23,671 Okay. 605 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,805 Now, I am not here to listen to you explain your side, 606 00:26:26,897 --> 00:26:29,229 or rationalize things, or justify your actions! 607 00:26:29,323 --> 00:26:33,081 I'm here for one reason only, to punch you out. 608 00:26:34,215 --> 00:26:35,594 Hey, cool. You see that? 609 00:26:35,678 --> 00:26:38,390 That was just like in an old Western, where everyone cleared the bar. 610 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,323 - I never seen that in person. - Don't be cute. Just get ready to be hurt. 611 00:26:41,407 --> 00:26:42,787 - Damn. - What? 612 00:26:42,871 --> 00:26:45,416 I just wish I was drinking faster, 'cause if I was more drunk, 613 00:26:45,506 --> 00:26:46,921 getting punched out wouldn't hurt so much. 614 00:26:47,012 --> 00:26:48,925 - Just shut up and let's do this. - Go ahead. 615 00:26:49,018 --> 00:26:50,517 - Well, get ready. - I'm ready. 616 00:26:50,608 --> 00:26:52,154 - Well, raise your arms or something. - No. 617 00:26:52,239 --> 00:26:53,440 I'm not gonna punch you like this. 618 00:26:53,535 --> 00:26:55,414 - I thought that's why you came. - I came to fight. 619 00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:56,914 - Well, let's do it. - Then raise your arms. 620 00:26:57,005 --> 00:26:58,254 - No. - T.J.! 621 00:26:58,344 --> 00:27:01,020 I'm not hitting you, Luke. I got nothing against you. 622 00:27:01,104 --> 00:27:04,362 Plus, there's no fighting inside. It's Lanny's top rule, 623 00:27:04,449 --> 00:27:06,031 along with no burning down the place. 624 00:27:06,122 --> 00:27:08,370 - That actually comes first. - Well, then let's take it outside. 625 00:27:08,464 --> 00:27:10,795 Luke, let me ask you one question really quick, 626 00:27:10,889 --> 00:27:12,637 and then you can take me outside and clobber me. 627 00:27:12,729 --> 00:27:15,358 - Okay, what? - What the hell is this about? 628 00:27:15,740 --> 00:27:18,416 You're unbelievable! It's about Liz! 629 00:27:18,584 --> 00:27:19,998 What about her? 630 00:27:20,088 --> 00:27:22,467 - Is she all right? - All right? You walked out on her. 631 00:27:22,556 --> 00:27:23,805 - No, I didn't. - Yeah, you did. 632 00:27:23,894 --> 00:27:25,691 That's why you're here drinking in the afternoon. 633 00:27:25,776 --> 00:27:28,701 That's not why I'm here drinking. I'm drinking because I'm upset. 634 00:27:28,787 --> 00:27:29,869 You're upset? 635 00:27:29,958 --> 00:27:33,133 - You abandoned Liz and your baby. - Hey, I would never do that. 636 00:27:33,220 --> 00:27:34,551 I love your sister, Luke. 637 00:27:34,641 --> 00:27:36,936 - She threw me out. - That's not what she said. 638 00:27:37,025 --> 00:27:38,939 We came home from the fair, it was great. 639 00:27:39,032 --> 00:27:40,947 We were both happy, we made money, 640 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:42,241 then Liz goes to the doctor, 641 00:27:42,336 --> 00:27:44,215 and she comes home and tells me she's pregnant. 642 00:27:44,301 --> 00:27:46,882 I hug her, I kiss her. I'm crying, I'm so happy. 643 00:27:46,978 --> 00:27:48,976 And then, I turn to grab the phone to tell the family 644 00:27:49,069 --> 00:27:50,817 and an ashtray hits me in the back of the head. 645 00:27:50,909 --> 00:27:52,157 And a phone book and a stapler 646 00:27:52,247 --> 00:27:54,625 and our statue of a happy clown playing the saxophone. 647 00:27:54,714 --> 00:27:56,343 - I'm not getting this. - She's yelling at me, 648 00:27:56,429 --> 00:27:58,760 saying things like, "This ain't gonna work. 649 00:27:58,854 --> 00:28:01,613 "You're gonna mess this kid up. You can't raise a kid." 650 00:28:01,698 --> 00:28:04,160 She's saying, "This kid will grow up with no discipline, 651 00:28:04,249 --> 00:28:07,127 "it'll get out of control, then we'll end up having to send it away." 652 00:28:07,218 --> 00:28:09,632 I tell her she's wrong. I tell her I'll do whatever's needed. 653 00:28:09,727 --> 00:28:11,273 I'll read every book on the subject, 654 00:28:11,358 --> 00:28:14,402 even though I hate reading worse than I hate public television. 655 00:28:14,494 --> 00:28:17,622 - But Liz won't hear it. She tells me to go. - She told you to go. 656 00:28:17,714 --> 00:28:19,343 So I packed a bag and left. 657 00:28:19,429 --> 00:28:22,771 I didn't want to, but Liz is always right about everything. 658 00:28:22,857 --> 00:28:25,985 And if my staying around is gonna screw up the kid like that, 659 00:28:26,077 --> 00:28:27,825 I'm gone, no questions asked. 660 00:28:27,917 --> 00:28:29,416 Jeez, Liz. 661 00:28:29,967 --> 00:28:31,798 - What? - Have a seat, T.J. 662 00:28:31,890 --> 00:28:33,222 Give me a beer. 663 00:28:33,646 --> 00:28:35,359 Listen, T.J., 664 00:28:36,615 --> 00:28:38,993 Liz wasn't talking to you, when she was saying all that stuff. 665 00:28:39,082 --> 00:28:40,914 She was talking to herself. 666 00:28:41,006 --> 00:28:43,682 I'm pretty sure she was talking to me. She kept saying my name. 667 00:28:43,766 --> 00:28:45,811 No. When she said you were gonna mess up the baby, 668 00:28:45,899 --> 00:28:49,241 she was saying something else. Just take out the "you" make it an "I'm." 669 00:28:49,328 --> 00:28:50,910 She meant you're gonna screw up the baby? 670 00:28:51,001 --> 00:28:52,119 No, she meant she was. 671 00:28:52,214 --> 00:28:53,926 - And I was. - No, just her. 672 00:28:54,011 --> 00:28:55,974 Then why didn't she throw the ashtray at herself? 673 00:28:56,061 --> 00:28:59,403 - Because she was taking it out on you. - This is complicated. 674 00:28:59,489 --> 00:29:00,822 That's because people are. 675 00:29:00,912 --> 00:29:02,494 Sometimes they just don't say what they mean. 676 00:29:02,585 --> 00:29:04,546 Yeah, I hate that. It's hard enough following them 677 00:29:04,633 --> 00:29:06,595 when they're talking about what they're talking about. 678 00:29:06,682 --> 00:29:09,477 Yeah, that's the trick with relationships. Believe me. 679 00:29:09,567 --> 00:29:12,244 Look, you have to try to tune in 680 00:29:12,327 --> 00:29:16,288 to what your partner means, as opposed to what she's actually saying. 681 00:29:16,384 --> 00:29:19,512 They sometimes won't tell you how they're feeling, 682 00:29:20,064 --> 00:29:22,741 but your job is to try to figure out what she's saying 683 00:29:22,824 --> 00:29:24,952 from what she actually says. 684 00:29:25,082 --> 00:29:26,628 - Wow. - Yeah. 685 00:29:27,089 --> 00:29:28,552 I got none of that. 686 00:29:29,765 --> 00:29:32,894 It's okay. It's all gonna be okay. 687 00:29:33,237 --> 00:29:35,318 I'm gonna make this okay. 688 00:29:39,969 --> 00:29:41,765 - Sorry. - Lorelai, be careful! 689 00:29:41,851 --> 00:29:44,813 Well, I'm not used to driving a missile silo down the street. 690 00:29:44,904 --> 00:29:47,151 Oh, stop being so dramatic. 691 00:29:47,580 --> 00:29:50,339 Yeah. Wouldn't wanna be dramatic. 692 00:29:50,801 --> 00:29:53,726 All right, get over here. You're gonna turn right. 693 00:29:55,024 --> 00:29:56,522 - Sorry! - Lorelai! 694 00:29:56,613 --> 00:29:58,777 Well, it's a big freaking car, Mom. 695 00:29:58,871 --> 00:30:00,785 You're gonna give me a heart attack. 696 00:30:00,878 --> 00:30:03,126 Mom, please. How long is this gonna go on? 697 00:30:03,220 --> 00:30:04,504 You won't tell me where we're going, 698 00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:06,348 you're giving me block-by-block instructions. 699 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,902 My goodness, Lorelai, you've been complaining since we got started. 700 00:30:08,991 --> 00:30:10,073 No, I haven't. 701 00:30:10,162 --> 00:30:11,826 When we had to go to three different drugstores... 702 00:30:11,918 --> 00:30:13,833 - Well, come on. - I don't trust generic. 703 00:30:13,926 --> 00:30:15,388 Mom, it's the same thing. 704 00:30:15,472 --> 00:30:16,971 If I'm willing to pay full price, 705 00:30:17,062 --> 00:30:19,738 then I deserve to have my drug bottle say "Valium" on it. 706 00:30:19,822 --> 00:30:21,986 - Fine. - I don't see why that's insane. 707 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:23,411 Fine. 708 00:30:25,425 --> 00:30:29,136 - So, have you talked to Christopher lately? - No. Not lately-lately. 709 00:30:29,231 --> 00:30:31,442 - I have. - Well, bully for you. 710 00:30:31,572 --> 00:30:35,414 You know, your father and I enjoyed our little sit-down with him very much. 711 00:30:35,503 --> 00:30:37,050 Oh, I'm glad. 712 00:30:37,218 --> 00:30:39,716 You know, I'd forgotten what a handsome man Christopher is. 713 00:30:39,811 --> 00:30:42,189 He was wearing a very nice blue tie. 714 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,198 And his hair is very short. 715 00:30:44,285 --> 00:30:46,616 Normally, I don't like a man's hair that short. 716 00:30:46,710 --> 00:30:48,958 It makes him look like a convict or a masseuse, 717 00:30:49,052 --> 00:30:51,930 - but I think it works on him. - Yeah, I'm sure it does. 718 00:30:52,021 --> 00:30:54,352 - He seemed lonely, though. - What? 719 00:30:54,446 --> 00:30:55,909 He's not dating anyone. I asked. 720 00:30:55,994 --> 00:30:57,659 - Well, he's got G.G. - Who's G.G.? 721 00:30:57,751 --> 00:31:01,128 - His daughter, Mom. - Well, we didn't discuss that. 722 00:31:01,388 --> 00:31:03,386 But I could tell he was lonely. 723 00:31:04,023 --> 00:31:05,307 I'm sure he's fine. 724 00:31:05,403 --> 00:31:06,604 You know, I've been wracking my brain 725 00:31:06,699 --> 00:31:08,412 trying to think of a nice girl to set him up with. 726 00:31:08,498 --> 00:31:11,078 Cezanne Moriarty just got divorced and she looks wonderful. 727 00:31:11,174 --> 00:31:12,756 She'd go perfectly with his hair and tie. 728 00:31:12,847 --> 00:31:15,261 Cezanne Moriarty is 10 years older than Christopher. 729 00:31:15,356 --> 00:31:17,068 Lorelai, you were in the same class together. 730 00:31:17,153 --> 00:31:20,031 I know. It's 'cause she was stupid. We used to call her "Moroniarty." 731 00:31:20,122 --> 00:31:23,335 Well, Loretta Singer's husband just died. She'll be back from Bali soon. 732 00:31:23,427 --> 00:31:25,258 - She's got a horse face. - Not anymore. 733 00:31:25,350 --> 00:31:27,895 - She's not his type, Mom. - What about Brandy Covington? 734 00:31:27,985 --> 00:31:30,744 She's a lovely girl, with a wonderful sense of humor. 735 00:31:30,828 --> 00:31:32,706 - A wonderful sense of humor? - Yes. 736 00:31:32,793 --> 00:31:34,838 What joke has Brandy Covington ever told? 737 00:31:34,926 --> 00:31:36,009 Well, I don't know. 738 00:31:36,097 --> 00:31:37,511 Well, you said she has a wonderful sense of humor. 739 00:31:37,602 --> 00:31:39,351 - So, tell me one of her jokes. - I don't know any. 740 00:31:39,443 --> 00:31:41,987 - An amusing anecdote she's told. - I don't know, Lorelai. 741 00:31:42,077 --> 00:31:43,873 - A giggle-inducing pun. - Lorelai... 742 00:31:43,959 --> 00:31:47,170 - Dirty limerick, song parody? - Well, she has a lovely laugh. 743 00:31:47,262 --> 00:31:50,437 Oh, so she does not have a wonderful sense of humor. 744 00:31:50,524 --> 00:31:52,688 She can appreciate a wonderful sense of humor. 745 00:31:52,782 --> 00:31:55,625 - I guess that's right. - Fine. Tell me a joke she's laughed at. 746 00:31:55,709 --> 00:31:56,827 You're being impossible. 747 00:31:56,922 --> 00:31:58,719 Mother, Christopher can get his own girls. 748 00:31:58,805 --> 00:32:01,302 Now, he's busy with G.G. and when the time is right, he'll date. 749 00:32:01,397 --> 00:32:04,025 Just sit back and let me drive. 750 00:32:05,286 --> 00:32:07,248 Rory thinks he's lonely, too. 751 00:32:07,795 --> 00:32:10,507 I'm in a tank, pal. Come and get me! 752 00:32:12,813 --> 00:32:14,478 Sheila's out today, so warn Mark 753 00:32:14,570 --> 00:32:17,614 that there's going to be an unexpected enormous pile of annoyance on his desk 754 00:32:17,706 --> 00:32:19,870 - and just to deal with it. - Hello? 755 00:32:20,382 --> 00:32:23,010 - Yes, hello. Is this Kimberly Wells? - Yes, it is. 756 00:32:23,100 --> 00:32:25,312 - Thank you for taking my call, Ms. Wells. - Call me Kimberly. 757 00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:27,732 Okay, Kimberly. The reason I'm calling is... 758 00:32:27,826 --> 00:32:29,990 Something to do with my interview with Huntzberger, right? 759 00:32:30,084 --> 00:32:31,546 Yes. It has to do with that. 760 00:32:31,631 --> 00:32:33,878 - Give 'em hell, Harry. - So, what's this about? 761 00:32:33,972 --> 00:32:36,101 I'm calling to request a correction. 762 00:32:36,189 --> 00:32:37,307 To what? 763 00:32:37,402 --> 00:32:39,317 To everything that Mitchum said about me. 764 00:32:39,410 --> 00:32:42,953 I am looking at the piece now. He didn't say much about you. 765 00:32:43,215 --> 00:32:44,380 Well, that's the thing. 766 00:32:44,470 --> 00:32:47,014 He didn't use many words, but he said a lot. 767 00:32:47,104 --> 00:32:50,398 "And Rory Gilmore, I gave her her first internship at my Stamford paper, 768 00:32:50,491 --> 00:32:52,156 "and now she's editor of the Yale Daily News." 769 00:32:52,248 --> 00:32:54,328 - What part of that is wrong? - None of it, technically, 770 00:32:54,421 --> 00:32:56,384 but, essentially, it's all a lie. 771 00:32:56,471 --> 00:32:58,718 Did he not give you an internship at The Stamford Eagle-Gazette? 772 00:32:58,812 --> 00:32:59,931 Yes, he did, but... 773 00:33:00,026 --> 00:33:01,523 And are you not editor of the Yale Daily News? 774 00:33:01,614 --> 00:33:03,778 Well, I am, actually, but it's the impression he left. 775 00:33:03,872 --> 00:33:06,417 That he gave me my start. He did not give me my start. 776 00:33:06,507 --> 00:33:09,635 Tell her if a correction's not appropriate, maybe a clarification is. 777 00:33:09,727 --> 00:33:11,523 - That's dumb. - It doesn't hurt to ask. 778 00:33:11,609 --> 00:33:13,607 - Hello? - Sorry, I got distracted. 779 00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:14,817 Here's the thing. 780 00:33:14,912 --> 00:33:18,255 Mitchum is depicting me as one of the feathers in his cap. 781 00:33:18,342 --> 00:33:19,589 I am not one of his feathers. 782 00:33:19,679 --> 00:33:22,641 Yes, but here's our thing, we can't print corrections to impressions. 783 00:33:22,733 --> 00:33:23,898 That would be chaos. 784 00:33:23,987 --> 00:33:25,735 Even if the impression is wildly misleading? 785 00:33:25,827 --> 00:33:28,159 Again, that's an impression. We don't correct impressions. 786 00:33:28,253 --> 00:33:29,584 I see. 787 00:33:30,386 --> 00:33:32,216 - What about a clarification? - Good girl. 788 00:33:32,308 --> 00:33:34,437 - We don't do those, either. - I see. 789 00:33:34,776 --> 00:33:35,894 I really need to run. 790 00:33:35,989 --> 00:33:38,534 You know, it's just gonna bug me forever that he put this out there. 791 00:33:38,623 --> 00:33:41,716 - That's show biz. - Okay. You're right. 792 00:33:42,094 --> 00:33:45,103 I mean, I guess it's gonna be in people's recycling bins by tonight 793 00:33:45,188 --> 00:33:46,687 and totally forgotten by tomorrow, right? 794 00:33:46,778 --> 00:33:48,776 Actually, I always hope that the stuff I work so hard on 795 00:33:48,869 --> 00:33:50,532 isn't just totally forgotten the next day. 796 00:33:50,624 --> 00:33:54,085 Oh, yeah. Well, me, too. I mean, back at you, sister. 797 00:33:54,179 --> 00:33:55,891 - Thank you for your time. - Wait, wait. 798 00:33:55,978 --> 00:33:58,141 Could you hold on a second, please? What? 799 00:33:58,235 --> 00:34:00,483 Ask her if there are any internships available at the Journal? 800 00:34:00,577 --> 00:34:03,836 - I could fax her my... - Thank you for your time. 801 00:34:04,759 --> 00:34:06,258 I tell him to clear the plates, 802 00:34:06,349 --> 00:34:08,560 and he's, like, "I'm tired, I've been on my feet all day." 803 00:34:08,648 --> 00:34:10,979 And I'm, like, "I don't care if you've been on your feet all day 804 00:34:11,073 --> 00:34:13,155 "at that crappy job that doesn't pay enough 805 00:34:13,248 --> 00:34:15,793 "that we can even go to Dollywood once in a while." 806 00:34:15,882 --> 00:34:19,593 Yeah, that's not good, not going to Dollywood. 807 00:34:19,688 --> 00:34:20,854 It's rude. 808 00:34:20,942 --> 00:34:22,821 He could have taken one of his city tests 809 00:34:22,908 --> 00:34:24,906 and maybe he could have been a cop or something. 810 00:34:24,999 --> 00:34:27,331 Not that he could fire a gun straight. 811 00:34:27,425 --> 00:34:30,885 I kick his ass at the shooting range every time. 812 00:34:30,979 --> 00:34:34,571 Yeah, the yin of it, the yang of it. Totally... 813 00:34:34,659 --> 00:34:36,871 - Liz. - Oh, hey, big brother. 814 00:34:36,959 --> 00:34:38,755 Excuse me, girls. 815 00:34:41,894 --> 00:34:43,095 Who are they? 816 00:34:43,190 --> 00:34:45,949 They're the support group of single moms I hooked up with. 817 00:34:46,033 --> 00:34:47,662 They're horrible. 818 00:34:47,790 --> 00:34:50,918 All they do is bitch, bitch, bitch. I'd have left every one of them, too. 819 00:34:51,010 --> 00:34:53,721 So, Liz. Look at me. 820 00:34:54,104 --> 00:34:55,686 - Now, listen. - I'm listening. 821 00:34:55,777 --> 00:34:59,369 You are gonna be a great mother to this kid. 822 00:35:00,168 --> 00:35:01,582 - What? - You heard me. 823 00:35:01,673 --> 00:35:05,016 You're in the best shape you've ever been, you've got money. Jess turned out fine. 824 00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:08,563 Your son turned out fine. He's doing great. 825 00:35:08,657 --> 00:35:10,489 - Yeah, but... - Put your fears aside. 826 00:35:10,581 --> 00:35:12,828 I know you can do this. 827 00:35:13,215 --> 00:35:14,843 - I'm scared. - But you've got help. 828 00:35:14,929 --> 00:35:16,392 You've got a good man. He loves you. 829 00:35:16,477 --> 00:35:19,021 He's gonna be a great dad. If you let him. 830 00:35:19,111 --> 00:35:20,990 If he'll forgive me. 831 00:35:27,265 --> 00:35:29,763 - T.J. - He was too afraid to come inside. 832 00:35:29,858 --> 00:35:32,736 - He's not wearing a jacket. - I told him to bring a jacket. 833 00:35:32,827 --> 00:35:34,374 He's always forgetting his jacket. 834 00:35:34,458 --> 00:35:36,421 All right, he needs you, you need him. 835 00:35:36,507 --> 00:35:38,256 Now, go to him. Make up. 836 00:35:38,431 --> 00:35:41,939 Go home, okay? Go home with T.J. 837 00:35:42,194 --> 00:35:44,026 Thanks, Luke. 838 00:35:46,418 --> 00:35:49,380 - Where are you going, Liz? - My man's here. 839 00:35:49,972 --> 00:35:53,147 Oh, yeah, he looks like a real winner. 840 00:35:53,276 --> 00:35:57,118 So, can I get I can get you ladies anything? Compassion, perspective? 841 00:36:10,463 --> 00:36:13,008 - Okay, Mom, what's next? - You don't have to say it like that. 842 00:36:13,098 --> 00:36:15,678 I just spent the last hour and a half watching you get a manicure. 843 00:36:15,774 --> 00:36:17,606 It's my standing appointment, Lorelai. 844 00:36:17,698 --> 00:36:20,278 Yes, except I was the one standing 'cause there weren't enough seats. 845 00:36:20,374 --> 00:36:21,540 Well, if I had missed that appointment, 846 00:36:21,629 --> 00:36:23,127 it would be weeks before I could get another 847 00:36:23,218 --> 00:36:24,882 and I'd be walking around with hobo hands. 848 00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:27,306 Now stop being so surly, this is the last stop. 849 00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:30,444 - Great. You realize we're in Beacon Falls. - So what? 850 00:36:30,536 --> 00:36:32,867 So, we've driven almost as far as Stars Hollow. 851 00:36:32,961 --> 00:36:34,924 Now I'll have to drive you all the way back to Hartford. 852 00:36:35,011 --> 00:36:37,258 Well, I'm sorry, Lorelai. Next time I have some sort of illness, 853 00:36:37,352 --> 00:36:39,933 you can put me on an iceberg and float me out to sea. Let's go. 854 00:36:40,029 --> 00:36:41,526 This is a real estate office. 855 00:36:41,617 --> 00:36:43,746 What errand do you have to run at a real estate office? 856 00:36:43,834 --> 00:36:44,952 Are you coming? 857 00:36:45,047 --> 00:36:46,842 Am I coming with you to the real estate office? 858 00:36:46,928 --> 00:36:49,176 Don't forget to lock the door. I'm leaving my bananas here. 859 00:36:49,270 --> 00:36:52,529 Mom, why are we going to a real estate office? Mom? 860 00:36:57,634 --> 00:37:00,393 - Excuse me, I'm... - Emily? 861 00:37:00,979 --> 00:37:04,071 Maureen, hi. I'm sorry if we're late. 862 00:37:04,157 --> 00:37:07,452 I had this awful surgery yesterday and today has been a nightmare. 863 00:37:07,545 --> 00:37:09,839 - Oh, I hope you're feeling all right. - Oh, she's fine. 864 00:37:09,928 --> 00:37:12,390 Dragging that cross around with her made her a little tired. 865 00:37:12,479 --> 00:37:13,942 Maureen, this is my daughter, Lorelai. 866 00:37:14,026 --> 00:37:15,823 She has headaches and that tends to make her babble. 867 00:37:15,908 --> 00:37:17,787 I'm sorry. Can I get you some aspirin? 868 00:37:17,874 --> 00:37:20,586 Oh, no thanks. I'm okay. I've had the headache for 38 years. 869 00:37:20,676 --> 00:37:23,434 - We are anxious to see those pictures. - What pictures? 870 00:37:23,519 --> 00:37:25,065 All right. Well, follow me. 871 00:37:25,149 --> 00:37:26,898 I have the whole presentation ready for you. 872 00:37:26,990 --> 00:37:28,156 What presentation? 873 00:37:28,245 --> 00:37:31,872 - Maureen, how are your twins? - They are going to be seniors next fall. 874 00:37:31,966 --> 00:37:33,762 - They grow up so fast, don't they? - Like weeds. 875 00:37:33,848 --> 00:37:35,179 What presentation are we looking at? 876 00:37:35,269 --> 00:37:36,602 - Here we are. - Mom? 877 00:37:36,692 --> 00:37:40,485 So, I talked to the owner and he said that they would be willing 878 00:37:40,580 --> 00:37:44,374 to throw in any of the furniture or appliances that we might like. 879 00:37:44,470 --> 00:37:46,967 - Completely up to you. - Well, that's wonderful. 880 00:37:47,062 --> 00:37:50,321 Why is that wonderful? Why is throwing in furniture and appliances wonderful, Mom? 881 00:37:50,407 --> 00:37:51,526 Go on, Maureen. 882 00:37:51,621 --> 00:37:55,330 Anyhow, the pictures are pretty complete, but I can get us in this weekend, 883 00:37:55,426 --> 00:37:57,257 if you would like to take a closer look yourself. 884 00:37:57,349 --> 00:37:59,394 Do you, Mom? Do you wanna take a closer look? 885 00:37:59,482 --> 00:38:00,861 This is only the second time 886 00:38:00,945 --> 00:38:03,658 that this house has been on the market in 100 years. 887 00:38:03,748 --> 00:38:06,042 It's got five bedrooms, four and a half baths, 888 00:38:06,131 --> 00:38:08,093 with a library, a sun porch. 889 00:38:08,180 --> 00:38:11,224 It's on three acres with a very small, what they call, fishing hole, 890 00:38:11,317 --> 00:38:14,611 which is really a little pond, but it's very charming. 891 00:38:14,704 --> 00:38:17,629 - And it has stables for horses. - I thought so. 892 00:38:17,715 --> 00:38:21,640 The roof is in good shape, but I think that the plumbing will need some updating. 893 00:38:21,730 --> 00:38:23,691 But the sellers are motivated, 894 00:38:23,778 --> 00:38:26,358 and I think it's a pretty special property. 895 00:38:26,454 --> 00:38:28,536 I do, too. Don't you? 896 00:38:29,089 --> 00:38:33,394 - Lorelai? Are you breathing? - Why are you looking at this house, Mom? 897 00:38:33,731 --> 00:38:34,897 Would you give us a minute? 898 00:38:34,986 --> 00:38:37,911 Of course. I'll be right over here if you need me. 899 00:38:38,707 --> 00:38:40,420 Well, what do you think? 900 00:38:41,174 --> 00:38:43,802 Mom, please, tell me what is going on. 901 00:38:43,892 --> 00:38:46,140 I will tell you what's going on as soon as you tell me, 902 00:38:46,234 --> 00:38:47,982 honestly, what you think of this house. 903 00:38:48,074 --> 00:38:50,156 - I think it's fine. - Fine? 904 00:38:50,249 --> 00:38:52,497 Mom, it doesn't look like your type of house at all. 905 00:38:52,591 --> 00:38:54,635 I did not ask if you thought it was my type of house. 906 00:38:54,724 --> 00:38:56,471 I asked what you thought of the house. 907 00:38:56,563 --> 00:38:59,239 Well, I think it's a beautiful house. 908 00:38:59,783 --> 00:39:00,985 So do I. 909 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:02,744 But you already have a beautiful house, Mom. 910 00:39:02,836 --> 00:39:05,416 Oh, I know. This house is not for me. It's for you. 911 00:39:05,513 --> 00:39:06,975 - Me? - You and Luke. 912 00:39:07,059 --> 00:39:10,188 Now before you get your nose out of joint and accuse me of interfering, 913 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:11,362 hear me out. 914 00:39:11,450 --> 00:39:13,080 I think your house is very nice. 915 00:39:13,165 --> 00:39:15,460 I know you've put a lot of work into it 916 00:39:15,549 --> 00:39:17,963 but, Lorelai, it's too small for the two of you. 917 00:39:18,058 --> 00:39:21,102 Especially when you have children. If you have children, I mean. 918 00:39:21,194 --> 00:39:25,915 A man needs his own space and room and Luke does not have that at your house. 919 00:39:26,045 --> 00:39:28,043 Also, I know you've always wanted horses, 920 00:39:28,136 --> 00:39:31,180 so I thought something with a little bit of property might be nice. 921 00:39:31,272 --> 00:39:33,770 Now, I know it's not actually in Stars Hollow, 922 00:39:33,865 --> 00:39:35,578 but it's right on the border. 923 00:39:35,663 --> 00:39:40,301 It's only an extra ten minutes to the inn and an extra five minutes to the diner. 924 00:39:40,472 --> 00:39:42,636 Plus, I did a little nosing around 925 00:39:42,730 --> 00:39:46,608 and I heard that if you grease the palm of the Stars Hollow zoning commissioner, 926 00:39:46,703 --> 00:39:49,283 a man named Taylor Doose, 927 00:39:49,379 --> 00:39:51,711 you can get him to change property lines. 928 00:39:51,805 --> 00:39:53,637 So we can give you a Stars Hollow address, 929 00:39:53,729 --> 00:39:55,809 if it's really important to you. 930 00:39:55,902 --> 00:39:57,900 You wanna buy us a house? 931 00:39:58,998 --> 00:40:01,412 Well, I know you're not going to let me give you a wedding, 932 00:40:01,507 --> 00:40:03,504 so I thought a house would do. 933 00:40:03,681 --> 00:40:05,595 All that running around Stars Hollow, 934 00:40:05,688 --> 00:40:07,520 you and Dad were looking for a house for me? 935 00:40:07,612 --> 00:40:10,109 Well, of course. You didn't think we wanted to live there, did you? 936 00:40:10,204 --> 00:40:12,499 Small-town charm is good for a weekend, Lorelai, 937 00:40:12,588 --> 00:40:13,967 but I have no interest in having 938 00:40:14,052 --> 00:40:16,728 a next-door neighbor walk in with a pie, wanting to chat. 939 00:40:16,812 --> 00:40:19,392 I would kill myself and my neighbors. 940 00:40:19,530 --> 00:40:21,825 Now, I'm sure Luke will need some convincing. 941 00:40:21,914 --> 00:40:23,459 He doesn't look like the kind of man 942 00:40:23,544 --> 00:40:26,042 who willingly takes extravagant gifts from people. 943 00:40:26,137 --> 00:40:28,765 So I've concocted a few good lies we can tell him. 944 00:40:28,855 --> 00:40:31,781 It's for his own good and once the two of you are in the house... 945 00:40:31,866 --> 00:40:34,328 - It's not gonna happen. - What? 946 00:40:34,835 --> 00:40:36,297 Well, of course it will. 947 00:40:36,382 --> 00:40:38,594 If we have to pay more than the asking price, 948 00:40:38,682 --> 00:40:42,227 - your father and I are totally prepared... - Luke and I, 949 00:40:43,115 --> 00:40:44,530 the wedding, 950 00:40:45,206 --> 00:40:46,953 it's not gonna happen. 951 00:40:48,342 --> 00:40:49,626 What? 952 00:41:08,457 --> 00:41:10,086 - Jackson! - Keep up! 953 00:41:10,171 --> 00:41:12,585 - Stop trotting. - We're on a mission here. 954 00:41:12,681 --> 00:41:14,059 But the faster we move, 955 00:41:14,144 --> 00:41:16,902 the more chance there is we'll draw attention. 956 00:41:16,987 --> 00:41:18,450 No, the slower we move, 957 00:41:18,535 --> 00:41:21,793 the more time there is to have people's attention drawn to us. 958 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,342 - I'm toting heavy bags here. - Don't say that out loud. 959 00:41:24,431 --> 00:41:25,763 I didn't say what was in the bag. 960 00:41:25,853 --> 00:41:28,065 And not saying what's in the bag is going to make people think 961 00:41:28,153 --> 00:41:29,984 that we have something in it that we're hiding. 962 00:41:30,076 --> 00:41:31,539 Narcs! 963 00:41:34,927 --> 00:41:37,389 What the hell are the Petersons doing out this late? 964 00:41:37,478 --> 00:41:39,940 They're bad. They're bad people. 965 00:41:40,070 --> 00:41:42,449 Said the people trying to ditch a kilo of weed. 966 00:41:42,538 --> 00:41:45,250 - Sookie, the code word! - Pickles, pickles! 967 00:41:45,339 --> 00:41:49,645 I know, the pickles! Let's just get rid of this and go home. 968 00:41:51,487 --> 00:41:53,699 - Oh, God! - Hey, you two. What's up? 969 00:41:53,787 --> 00:41:55,285 - Nothing. - Nothing's going on here. 970 00:41:55,376 --> 00:41:56,660 I just got the most incredible news. 971 00:41:56,756 --> 00:41:59,135 A tour manager was walking around town, and he heard me sing, 972 00:41:59,223 --> 00:42:01,900 and he asked me to open for Neil Young on a bunch of East Coast dates! 973 00:42:01,983 --> 00:42:03,481 - Great. - See you. 974 00:42:04,242 --> 00:42:06,287 - That was close. - Wait, does Neil toke? 975 00:42:06,374 --> 00:42:09,169 We could give all of this to the Town Troubadour to give to him. 976 00:42:09,260 --> 00:42:11,007 I think if he tokes, he's already got a connection. 977 00:42:11,099 --> 00:42:12,931 Of course. He's Neil Young. 978 00:42:13,985 --> 00:42:15,733 - Reverend Skinner! - Rabbi Barans! 979 00:42:15,825 --> 00:42:17,953 - Hello, you two. - What are you doing out this late? 980 00:42:18,041 --> 00:42:19,456 Yeah, what are you doing out this late? 981 00:42:19,547 --> 00:42:21,508 Archie and I like to take a stroll around town at night. 982 00:42:21,596 --> 00:42:23,759 - It's so quiet. - Good time to talk about philosophy. 983 00:42:23,853 --> 00:42:26,816 - Good time to talk about God. - Yes, it's a great time to talk about God. 984 00:42:26,907 --> 00:42:28,785 - He's a good guy, that God. - Would you like to join us? 985 00:42:28,872 --> 00:42:30,370 - No! - No! 986 00:42:31,255 --> 00:42:34,133 - We're going to hell! - Just keep running! 987 00:42:34,894 --> 00:42:36,725 - Who is it? - Me! 988 00:42:39,368 --> 00:42:41,200 - Hey. - Honey, what are you doing here? 989 00:42:41,292 --> 00:42:42,458 Can I come in? 990 00:42:42,547 --> 00:42:44,425 - Of course. - Come on in. 991 00:42:45,683 --> 00:42:48,727 - Can we get you something? - No, thanks. 992 00:42:48,819 --> 00:42:51,447 I just need to hang out for a while. 993 00:42:51,621 --> 00:42:53,583 - Sit, honey. - Yeah, sit. 994 00:42:53,753 --> 00:42:55,168 Thanks. 995 00:43:11,317 --> 00:43:14,611 - What's that smell? - 68 pounds of marijuana.