DENNIS: I just need to get some leverage.
CHARLIE: Just pull. DENNIS: I'm tryin' to pull it.
DEE: Pull harder, Dennis.
If I pull harder it's gonna dig into his leg.
Don't yell at me.
I need to jam the shears farther down jam 'em in there!
- Pull harder and I will! - You should get a doctor to do it.
Oh, look at me, the millionaire who goes to see doctors!
(laughs) Come on. Just pull the damn crowbar.
(screams) Charlie, you want the cast off?
That's what you wanted. It's what you were asking for.
Just soak it in hot water, and it gets soft
and it peels right off piece by piece.
What do you know about anything?
- What are you even doing here? - Why are you still here?
- Just want to be part of the gang. - You're not part of our gang.
You're not part of the gang either, Dee, so forget that.
- Yes, I am. - No, you're not.
The gang is me, Mac and Charlie. That's the gang.
Dennis, let your sister be part of the gang.
- She can't be part of the gang. - Why would you say that?
- Is she part of the gang? - What gang?
I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Come on! Pull on it! - Hello. I'm looking for the owner.
- Yeah, that's us. - We're the owners.
My name is Ari Frenkel. I just bought the building next door.
- Oh! - Great, man. That's awesome.
I purchased it a few months ago,
but I was just able to move my family into Philadelphia.
- Ah, yeah. Where from? - Israel.
Just got to be too dangerous, with everything that's happening.
That's a tough situation you got over there.
- You got that whole tsunami... - No?
- The superdome thing that... - Charlie.
- No, there's no superdome. - It's one of those places there.
It's a different country.
- Never mind. I had a... - Why don't you shut up?
Anyway, I just... It's all good. (chattering)
- Stopped over to give you this. - What is this?
- It's a notice to vacate. - What?
According to the zoning grid, the piece of property
that I purchased extends exactly 100 feet to the north.
Anything south of that dividing line belongs to me.
- Where's the dividing line? - Right about, here.
- What? - Bullshit!
Are you kidding, man?
- Gonna need you out in a week. - You can't do that.
Dad, stay out of this. We can handle it, all right?
Look, man! I don't know how you guys do things in, what was it?
- Israel. - Israel.
Israel or whatever, but this is America!
You can't just come in here and steal our land from us.
I'm pretty sure that's how this country was founded.
What are you saying? You're making things up.
I don't know what that means. Does anybody know what...
If you're talkin' shit about America, we're kicking your ass.
- I'm sure you will. - This is our bar.
Your bar is on my land.
Goodbye, gentlemen.
(door opens and closes)
What are we gonna do?
This guy comes...
He really gets my goat. You know what I mean?
You shouldn't be allowed to come in, tell people, "I own this and that".
Okay, the butter goes on, then the peanut butter.
- What are you doing? - Peanut butter go in the middle?
- Do not put peanut butter on that! - What?
A Grilled Charlie has peanut butter last.
- Either inside or outside. - Peanut butter outside.
Chocolate inside, butter inside, cheese outside. (knocking)
- Go away. WOMAN: Frank, it's me. Open.
- Oh, shit. It's my wife. - Okay.
We talked about this. (knocking)
We knew this day would come. We got to face it. We got... Okay.
Breathe. Yeah. (exhales)
Let it out. Say, "I can do this".
- I can do this. - All right. Go answer the door.
No, you answer the door. I don't want to get smacked.
I don't... Look.
Where are your balls, dude? Where are your balls?
You're a grown man. Think about your balls.
- Where are they? - Don't talk about my balls.
Open this door!
I can't even mention your balls around you.
Charlie, she's all hopped up on amphetamines.
- I'll get your back. - I can hear it in her voice.
If you don't do this now, you're never...
Frank, open the goddamn door before I put my foot through it!
Just do it. Just deal with the bitch.
- Hey, Barbara. - Don't you "Hey, Barbara" me.
Jesus Christ, Frank. This place is a shithole!
Is this how you've been living?
- We make it work. What do you want? - I want to talk.
I tried to talk to you weeks ago. You went on vacation.
I was trying to scare some sense into you.
You were talking about giving away all of our money.
My money. I made it, you spent it.
Burn. There you go, buddy.
How can you say that to me? After everything I've done for you.
While you were out making money who do you think was at home
cooking and cleaning and raising your children?
A series of Mexican women.
A series... Unbelievable, dude. You're on fire.
You can choose to live like an animal if you want to,
but I refuse to be subjected to it.
I want my shit back.
You took my shit from our home and I want it back.
- I didn't take anything. - It's empty. Someone took it.
Maybe you should have somebody deported like you used to.
Beautiful.
- Oh! Oh! - I can't even talk to you anymore.
Standing up for yourself. Standing up for immigrants!
I don't know what you're turning into, but it's making me sick!
- Stings, doesn't it? - Yeah.
(chuckles) It hurts really bad.
Yeah. You got a little hand mark.
- Dude, you're burning! - Oh, shit!
- All right. With the peanut butter. - You have ruined this one!
- No, put the peanut butter on. - You ruined that one.
Apparently, Mr. Frenkel is citing a zoning grid
that was created by the original city planners.
Wait. So this asshole's using a law that's 300 years old?
- That's bullshit! - You can't do that.
You had an opportunity to buy the land at the time of the purchase.
- You declined. - So what?
You also had a second opportunity when the fiscal quarter.
- Let's not get into the blame game. - Solutions.
How do we get this guy out of our bar?
Unfortunately, it doesn't seem you guys have any legal recourse.
We don't have any legal recourse.
No.
All right. I think I follow, fellas. All right.
We don't have any legal recourse.
What you're saying is we got to get creative.
If you're implying that I'm advising you to do anything illegal,
then I'm afraid you're mistaken.
- Of course we're mistaken. - Yeah, no.
We're mistaken.
We would never want to implicate certain parties in certain matters.
But parties who has certain experiences...
- Or connections. - Certain affiliations.
Affiliations could give us some tips or pointers.
Or even, you know, connect us to one of his guys.
We could really...
Get out.
Okay. I think the lawyer's right.
We gotta send this guy some kind of message.
Time to take action, but we should be careful
'cause I don't want to come off as anti-Semitic.
- This guy's a Jewish person. - What's that have to do with it?
We don't have a problem with Jews. It's this guy in particular.
Jewish, okay? He's Jewish. Don't use the word "Jew."
I don't appreciate that. Nah, that's okay.
That is a racial slur, Charlie.
Calling somebody a Jew who is a Jew, is not a racial slur.
Will you please not use the word "Jew"? It makes me uncomfortable.
- It's not anti-Semitic. - It's about the context.
If you use the right context, you're good.
You're the most misinformed person I've ever met.
You don't even know what's going on in Israel.
That's right. You don't know what's going on in Israel.
- Maybe you shouldn't talk about it. - Are you serious?
Maybe you should leave it to me.
Do you know what's happening in Israel?
- Of course. I read the newspaper. - Okay. You know what?
Why don't you crack an egg of knowledge all over me?
- Okay. Can I start? - Yeah.
Well, okay. There's a war on terror, Charlie.
Have you ever seen CNN?
- George Bush right now... - Start from the beginning.
- Saddam Hussein, has the oil. - Yeah.
- Okay? - Okay.
Charlie, it is a war on terror.
We decided to help the people of Israel...
- To give our oil back to us. - By defeating Saddam Hussein.
- My head's swelling with knowledge. - It's freedom, Charlie.
- Wonderful knowledge. - You're being sarcastic.
- When we're talking about... - Oh!
You can't hide from it forever.
- You're an idiot. - You're an idiot.
Here you go. Stupid customers.
- It smells like urine in here. - Mama, you're back.
I'm not gonna get scurvy if I come any further, am I?
How are you?
I'll tell you how I am, Deandra. I am devastated.
I don't understand what's going on with your father. And I...
- What the hell is this? - What? Oh!
- Are those my earrings? - Oh, yea... yeah.
But here's the thing about the earrings.
You're stealing from your mother now?
What kind of monster are you?
Dad said he was gonna give your stuff away
and it was actually Dennis's idea...
Don't blame this on your brother. How low can you sink, Deandra?
I haven't seen you for a month and I'm standing here in a neck brace.
Are you gonna ask how I'm doing or what happened or...
I assume you did something stupid.
- Dennis ran over me with his car. - There you go again!
Don't you think it's time you start taking responsibility
for your actions?
- I... - I want my possessions returned.
I was eating that, mother.
I've been running around. I haven't had time to feed the dog.
Could you stop thinking about yourself for once?
And besides, you don't need it, sweetie.
(gasps, growls) Well, that's attractive.
Maybe if you took a bit more pride in your appearance
you could find a man and then you wouldn't steal from your mother!
I mean, look at your skin, Deandra.
Christ, there is a sun in Philadelphia.
He's already got a construction crew in there working?
God, dude. I am sick of staring at this building, guys.
- We gotta take some action. - Okay, I'll tell you what.
Let's throw a flaming bag of poop in the window.
What? Why?
Because they stamp it out and they get poop all over their shoes.
What in the hell is that going to accomplish?
Poop on their shoes. Their shoes, dude.
- Are you retarded? - Poop on the shoes.
- Are you a retarded person? - Poop on the shoes!
I got it!
- You do? - Yeah.
Let's come back tonight. I got a plan.
- Yeah. This ought to do it. - Okay, so what's the next step?
There is no next step. This is it.
- This is it? - Yeah.
- This is your plan? - It's awesome.
This isn't gonna do shit!
What do you mean this isn't gonna do shit?
There needs to be a next step!
Do you know how hard it is to get toilet paper
off a building, especially if it rains?
- This Jew's in for a ton of work. BOTH: Oh!
- What? - Come on, man.
- You can't say things like that. - What did I say?
- You dropped a hard "J" on us. - Yeah.
- Jew? You guys said it... - Shh!
You can say it, but it has to be in the right context.
- You said I could say "Jew". - You can, but in the right context.
- What is the right context? - All right.
- This, you know... - Person of the Jewish faith...
In a group of other people from the Jewish faith...
This guy's got a ton of work to do! I think it's okay that he's Jewish.
- That is not what I'm... - That's not what he's...
Hold on a second...
You guys don't know what the hell you're talking about.
This man is in for a ton of work. He's Jewish.
- We know what we're talking about. - Don't worry about that.
(doorbell rings)
Hello, Frank!
I noticed you changed the locks on the door.
You didn't have to do that because I'm never coming back again.
I'm looking forward to that.
You seem happy.
I think I'm feeling satisfied for the first time in my life.
- What is that, musk? - That's my new friend.
I met him outside of that disgusting bar our children own.
That's his Mercedes across the street.
His wife's dead. Goodbye, Frank.
Hey. Hey!
You! What are you doing here with my wife?
Soon to be ex-wife.
I'm not doing anything. She invited me over for coffee.
Are you bangin' him? You bangin' this guy?
Not yet, but I'm giving it serious consideration.
(chuckles) Is there some problem here?
(shattering) Adultery. That's what this is. That's it.
Animal! (door slams)
Sorry about that.
He used to beat me, you know.
(alarm chirps)
- Change of plans. - What happened?
- Your mother seems happy. - Shit!
- I just can't have that, Dee. - Well, what do you want to do?
What's the thing your mother loves more than anything in this world?
- That teeny, tiny little dog. - Let's go steal it.
(music)
(whispering) - What are you doing? - Go get the dog, Deandra!
What are you doing with your hands? What does that mean?
- What's all this? - Dog. Kitchen.
That's "kitchen"? Why can't you go get the dog?
Because I got a cast on my foot. I got a neck brace.
Deandra, I'm your father. Go in and get the dog.
You mean the "dog"? You're out of your mind.
Oh. Hello.
Please, don't bite me. Okay. Do not bite me.
Here we go. Nothing weird is going on.
(clanging) Shit!
Run! Run!
(dog barking)
Gentlemen, I've got something here
that's gonna send our friend on the first train back to Israel.
- Eggs? - Yeah. These eggs are organic.
They're three times the size of normal eggs and twice the price.
If this doesn't show this guy we mean business, nothing's gonna.
- I'm in. CHARLIE: Okay.
- What are you talking about? - It's something, Mac.
Oh, it's something. Let's just do something.
I wonder how long it took him to get the toilet paper down.
Didn't even notice the toilet paper.
- What? - Where does...
What the hell is this? He put up a fence.
He didn't notice the toilet paper? He put up a fence.
- He walled us in. - He walled us in!
Where does it end and where does it begin?
- This guy's good. - This guy wants to get extreme?
Let's get extreme. Screw the eggs.
- How far does this thing go? - Back to the bar. Plan "B".
- It's locked. You guys have keys? - Go around front.
- Go, go, go. - Fine. Fine. Fine.
Wait. Hold on. It gets thinner. Squeeze through there.
Dennis! Wait! Don't push me!
Wait! My toe's caught in the fence!
- Go back! Just go back. - I can't move! I can't...
- Come on! You guys gotta go! - Stop yelling!
- Go over! I'll lift you.
Don't climb! Don't climb, Dennis!
That son of a bitch! He put up a wall!
- Hop over! Climb over! - Hop?
(yells) Climb over and get help!
Oh, this son of a bitch! You son of a bitch!
(screams) (shrieks)
Okay. Now what are we doing, holding it for ransom or something?
I haven't thought this all the way through.
You haven't thought it through? It destroyed my apartment.
Look. We're living in the moment.
We're running around stealing things.
- We're doing anything we want. - Stop talking like that.
You and I ought to team up on stuff like this more often.
Oh, no, we shouldn't. You're not on my team.
Also, I want to team up with Mac
because he seems stupid enough to do anything.
Knock it off. You're not teaming up with any of us.
Nobody wants you around. (knocking)
God damn it. That doesn't... I'm gonna sit here until you use words.
That doesn't mean anything. This doesn't mean anything.
Your mother might be here, so take the dog into the bedroom.
- That's fine. You take it. - You take the dog! I'm telling you!
Fine. This is exactly why you're not part of our gang.
God damn it! Where'd it go?
What the hell do you want?
Your wife says she's afraid of you. I'm here for the dog.
Ooh! That woman is amazing. She is amazing.
You just met her. She's already got you running errands for her.
- She's good. She is good. - Just go get the dog.
I don't have the dog.
So you've been in here tearing apart pillows and...
... pooping on the floor?
Yes.
I'm starting to lose patience with you people.
I've already had to deal with your son and his retarded friends.
My contractor just told me there's a gas leak
n that goddamn building I just bought.
The whole thing is becoming a big pain in my ass.
Go get the dog.
I have a little business proposition I want to talk to you about.
Out in the hallway.
CHARLIE: You guys feeling extreme?
Ah, this looks beautiful.
- You ready for this? MAC: I'm ready. Let's do this.
Okay, okay. And... action.
(speaking mock Arabic)
Cut, cut, cut! What the hell are you doing, dude?
What those tapes sound like.
Why don't you read the script I wrote?
You wrote it in English and riddled with spelling errors.
You know what I'm trying to write. Say it.
I'm gonna mumble guttural sounds. Let's do another one.
- He's not gonna understand! - Then we'll do subtitles.
I feel like I should have something in my hands.
- You don't need anything. - Like a weapon.
A machete or a machine gun or something.
Why don't you head down to the Wawa and pick up a machine gun?
- Read the script. - I'm not reading it.
Who's the director here?
I don't care. I'm not reading the script.
Fine. Action!
Can I get my towel over my face?
- Put it on your face. - Here we go.
Action! (speaking mock Arabic)
- I'm gonna get a weapon! - You don't need a...
He's gonna get a weapon, everybody! Everybody! Everybody get a weapon!
(sighs)
Can we... make this look more like a cave?
(speaking mock Arabic)
You not make restaurant here. Bad decision.
(speaking mock Arabic)
We will crush your skull with our weapons!
- We can't send this. - Nope.
- What are you talking about? - We're gonna get arrested.
Yeah, or murdered. This is too extreme, Charlie.
- Man, I feel sick. - Me too.
You think I don't feel sick? Okay. I'm sick.
I feel very sick, but I directed the shit out of this video.
This stuff is gold.
You're not the one on TV
dressed like a terrorist threatening Jews, Charlie.
- Mac. - The context was fine, Dennis.
Trust me. I was thinking about it when we were watching the video.
What are we supposed to do then? (sighs)
Can I throw a bag of poop through the window?
BOTH: Yes.
I have better aim. I should throw the bag of poop.
I sat over the bag for 20 minutes. I'm throwing it.
- Hey, guys. - Hey, Dee.
What are you doing?
We're throwing a bag of poop through a guy's window.
You wanna come?
Yeah.
Hey, there's no one even in there!
Well, just throw the bag in anyway, dude.
Yeah, but no one's gonna get poop on their shoes!
Just throw the damn bag, Charlie.
(exclaims)
DEE: Why are we doing this?
- We're gonna teach him a lesson. - Awesome.
(laughs) This is gonna be great. It's gonna smell so bad in there.
I just hope he gets the message... (explosion)
(car alarms wailing) (dogs barking in distance)
I think this is the wrong message.
Yeah.
#Then you wouldn't have to say
#That you love me
#'Cause I'd already know
#What would you do
- All right, so this here... - #If I...#
... is the pillar that I want to remove.
I want to get this out of here so there's a nice wide open space
when people walk into the bar.
- What are you doing, Dad? - In a second, Dennis.
And go into the bathroom. Check out the fixtures.
- I'll be in in a second. (scoffs) - What the hell's going on?
- He's renovating my bar. - Your bar?
Yeah, my bar.
You see, the property that I just purchased
extends from Morgan Street all the way to right here.
What the hell are you talking about? The property you bought?
The building you blew up. The building you set on fire.
What'd you think, I wasn't gonna find out about that?
I'll give you two choices.
I'm part of the gang...
... or I send your asses to jail.
I would rather go to jail than work with you.
Yes!
For the record, I would rather not spend my life in jail.
- I'll tear this bar to the ground. - I'll kick the pillars in!
Nobody's kicking anything. There's no tearing. It's all fine.
Here's what we're gonna do! Everyone, relax.
Frank, congratulations. You're captain of the gang.
DEE: No! Charlie... DENNIS: Charlie, shut your mouth!
Why can't you die and leave your money to your kids
like normal parents of America?
You sound like your mother. DEE: You say that to my face!
- Excuse me. - I will kick and tear...
Excuse me!
Thank you. We're looking for the owners.
Oh. We're the owners.
I'm Detective Tanner. This here is Detective Volpe.
Gentlemen, we're gonna have to talk to you for a moment.
About what?
You gentlemen know anything about this?
Shit.