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You ran out of beers with
your pals the other day...
3
00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:30,673
What do ya have, some
kind of drinking problems?
4
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,275
What's the problem,
Dan? That's alcohols abuse.
5
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:33,299
Well, to be fair...
6
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:34,447
Oh, don't say "to be fair."
7
00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:35,992
I hate when people
say "to be fair."
8
00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:37,697
It sounds like, "To be fai-uh."
9
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:38,771
To be fai-uh.
10
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,398
Well, to be fai-uh,
11
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:43,205
the bottom inch of a
beer bottle is 50% spit.
12
00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:44,472
Well, don't be gross.
13
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,855
Bugs could have crawled
down there and died, too.
14
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,279
You don't know.
What'd I just say?
15
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:48,391
Well, it's the same
reason you don't eat
16
00:00:48,415 --> 00:00:49,459
the bottom of an ice cream cone.
17
00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,076
Not sure how I
feels about this talk.
18
00:00:51,151 --> 00:00:52,729
What, do you think they
check for bugs down there
19
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:53,830
in the cone factory? Fuck, no.
20
00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:55,598
They just throw the cones
in the box. Figure it out.
21
00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:56,851
Can we move past this, please?
22
00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:58,401
What, do ya think they
check for bugs down there
23
00:00:58,425 --> 00:00:59,502
at the cone shop? Fuck, no.
24
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,371
They just throw the ice cream
on there. Have a good one.
25
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,762
This conversation's fast
becoming a confrontation.
26
00:01:03,830 --> 00:01:04,941
Like, here, have some ice cream
27
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:05,965
and fucking bugs, likely.
28
00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:07,076
What do you do with the bottoms
29
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:08,124
of the ice cream cones?
30
00:01:08,201 --> 00:01:09,913
Well, you throw it on
the fucking ground, Dan.
31
00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,781
You let the bugs eat
it. It's the circle of life.
32
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,467
Didn't you never
see The Lion King?
33
00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:15,168
You know I love The Lion King.
34
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:17,204
We're out of beer.
35
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:18,745
No. No.
36
00:01:20,447 --> 00:01:21,881
Beer store's closed.
37
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,315
Fuck, do I miss MoDeans.
38
00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:24,476
Reason fucking five million
39
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,076
we need some sort
of bar in this town.
40
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:27,314
Green, blue, and gold?
41
00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:28,631
I don't like where
this is headed.
42
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,567
Yeah, it's the leftovers
from the Christmas potluck.
43
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,751
We haven't had that in years.
44
00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:32,919
A half dozen at least.
45
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,871
Well, a half baker's,
but that's splitting hairs.
46
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:37,831
Creme de menthe, Blue
Curacao, Butter Ripple Schnapps.
47
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:39,578
Now, what the fuck am
I supposed to do with
48
00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:41,991
creme de menthe?
49
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:43,713
Splash of milk, with three
scoops of chocolate ice cream,
50
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:44,981
you got yourself a
Frozen Girl Scout.
51
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:46,049
Do I look like the type of prick
52
00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:47,666
to have a Frozen
Girl Scout, Dary?
53
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:49,732
What am I supposed to do with
54
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,142
Blue Curacao?
55
00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:53,510
Mix apple juice, pear juice,
garnish with blackberries,
56
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:54,878
you got yourself a Blue Bijou.
57
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,507
I think I'd rather
have a Blue Bijou.
58
00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,051
There's not enough
for two. Says you.
59
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,518
Well, what am I
supposed to do with
60
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:02,149
Butter Ripple Schnapps?
61
00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:03,933
Well, that's easy,
Katy-Kat. Down the hatch.
62
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,323
I'd be tasting that for days.
63
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:10,463
What's the meaning of this?
64
00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:13,599
I found it in an old golf bag.
65
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:14,862
And why do you get it?
66
00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:17,731
It's warm. It's still a beer.
67
00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,148
Well, to be fair...
To be fai-uh...
68
00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:20,765
To be fai-uh... To be fai-uh...
69
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,241
To be fai-uh...
70
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:25,975
He is essentially drinking
a bottle of piss right now.
71
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:38,450
Now, you're no mixologist,
but your best bet here
72
00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:39,584
is to mix 'em all together
73
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:40,992
into what you
call "donkey juice."
74
00:02:41,261 --> 00:02:43,696
However, to be fai-uh,
75
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,289
donkey juice will make you spit.
76
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,037
Well, can't win 'em all.
77
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:03,912
Uncle Eddie died.
78
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,452
Did he? Dum-diddy-do.
79
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,714
Well, you can't win 'em all.
80
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,221
Mr. Letterkenny himself.
81
00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:10,450
Longest-standing mayor
in the history of Letterkenny.
82
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:11,701
And you know that
snowbird enjoyed
83
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,353
the homestretch
in Fort Lauderdale.
84
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,692
Oh, yeah, just hanging out
down there playing crokinole
85
00:03:15,762 --> 00:03:17,390
and shuffleboard
with his good pals.
86
00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:19,330
He was a good guy.
He was a real good guy.
87
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:20,560
He left us a bunch of money.
88
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:21,897
Did he? Dum-diddy-do.
89
00:03:21,968 --> 00:03:23,402
How much? Five K.
90
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:24,904
What a great fucking guy.
91
00:03:24,971 --> 00:03:26,667
He was a real great fucking guy.
92
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,675
Well, he'd want
us to have a party.
93
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:30,973
He wants us to put it
back into the community.
94
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,535
What a great fucking guy!
95
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:34,257
He says in his will that
he's fallen out of touch
96
00:03:34,281 --> 00:03:36,216
with the community and
he trusts our judgment
97
00:03:36,283 --> 00:03:37,842
to give five K some
legs around here.
98
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:40,046
Well, sure as God's got sandals.
99
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,816
So, how do you
want to fuck this pig?
100
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,119
Well, you'd better put it
on your fucking Facebook.
101
00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:50,486
Pitter-Patter.
102
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:52,965
Let's get at 'er.
103
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,434
Faster than shit
through a goose.
104
00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:04,027
Lickety-split.
105
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:11,875
You've entered the barn,
106
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:14,642
where ideas come to blossom
or be ridiculed relentlessly.
107
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:17,183
On one side, two
no-nonsense farmers
108
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,310
are looking to give
away their uncle's money.
109
00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:21,184
On the other,
savvy entrepreneurs
110
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:23,018
hoping to acquire it.
111
00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:25,081
First up, three degens
from Letterkenny
112
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,003
are hoping to sell the
farmers on their solution
113
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:29,053
for a common small-town problem.
114
00:05:30,797 --> 00:05:31,821
Hi, Bonnie.
115
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:33,526
Hi, Katy. Hi, Wayne.
116
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,330
How are ya now? Good and you?
117
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:36,734
Not so bad.
118
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,173
Say, thanks for the, uh...
119
00:05:43,310 --> 00:05:45,211
Well, the thing you did there.
120
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:46,439
No problem, Wayne.
121
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:47,572
Any time.
122
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,648
Good afternoon, hicks.
We are asking for...
123
00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:53,278
Is it true that you
have a massive horn?
124
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,844
Yes. No.
125
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:56,184
No?
126
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:59,124
I mean, there's no way that
they could possibly know that.
127
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,991
I saw Stewart's penis at the
Elmira pool on my 11th birthday.
128
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:03,990
Looked like a 12-ounce cut
129
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,362
of pork tenderloin
hanging there.
130
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:07,257
Erroneous.
131
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:10,361
I saw Stewart's penis
when we touched tubes,
132
00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:13,100
as normal, inquisitive,
young boys do,
133
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:15,768
and it looked
like six pool balls
134
00:06:15,842 --> 00:06:18,505
were stuck inside a
gym sock, hanging there.
135
00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:19,578
Unverified.
136
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:21,609
Told ya. Fuck!
137
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,047
We are asking for five K
138
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:27,652
for 66.6% of our company.
139
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,780
Outstanding.
140
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,199
We want to give
back to the community
141
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,055
by helping people get sober.
142
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,286
Uncle Eddie got sober
143
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,488
as a birthday present
to himself on his 90th.
144
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,963
Which was curious, 'cause
he'd come that far, right?
145
00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:40,091
I should say. STEWART:
And we plan on doing this
146
00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:43,534
by getting the biggest
disasters in Letterkenny,
147
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:46,835
and putting them in
a room with cameras.
148
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,136
From there,
149
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,268
we film their friends and family
150
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:54,075
telling them they must halt
said disastery, posthaste!
151
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:55,615
Is "disastery" a word?
152
00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:58,846
It's a band name. Quantifiable.
153
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,429
Want to know what?
It feels like I might have
154
00:07:00,453 --> 00:07:02,445
seen something like this
on a TV show one time.
155
00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:04,282
We've arranged a demo
of how this might work.
156
00:07:05,325 --> 00:07:06,325
We have?
157
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:16,302
"Stewart,
158
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:19,533
"you are such a
disastery that sometimes
159
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,508
"you don't even know if it's
a weekday or the weekend.
160
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,941
"It hurts me to see you
being such a disaster.
161
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:34,497
"I wish you could
go back to being
162
00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:36,319
"only a mild disaster.
163
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,455
"Love, Devon."
164
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:41,552
This antic was not
discussed or rehearsed.
165
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:42,994
"Stewart,
166
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:46,766
"I worry that your
disastery is the result
167
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:48,893
"of when we touched
tubes as young boys.
168
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,131
"I think about touching
tubes with you and sometimes
169
00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:54,732
"wish I could go back in
time and not touch tubes.
170
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,140
"Perhaps had we
not touched tubes,
171
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,837
"you wouldn't be
such a disaster.
172
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,402
"Love, Roald."
173
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:04,308
Drollery was to be left
on the cutting-room floor.
174
00:08:04,384 --> 00:08:05,443
Anywho...
175
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:08,647
Your idea comes
from a good place,
176
00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,691
but Uncle Eddie
always believed that
177
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:13,591
if a man needs help,
he'll ask. He won't be told.
178
00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:15,521
And for that reason,
179
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:18,290
I'm out.
180
00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,109
Sounds like touching tubes
181
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:22,102
was a pretty big
setback for Stewart,
182
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,364
but your pitch was
the real disaster.
183
00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:25,828
I'm out.
184
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,641
So, do we win?
185
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:30,400
No.
186
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:32,969
No.
187
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:37,144
Up next in the barn,
188
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,708
these winners of
the genetic lottery
189
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:41,152
with no more than an ounce
of gray matter between them,
190
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,780
hope the farmers
get behind their plan
191
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,848
for young people in Letterkenny.
192
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:47,370
So, are you just
going to do that
193
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,056
every time, then, Bonnie?
194
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,757
Well, if you want me to, Wayne.
195
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:55,030
Yes, please.
196
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:57,036
You got it, Wayne. Thank you.
197
00:08:57,103 --> 00:09:01,131
Good afternoon, Wayne,
and she-we-do-not-speak-of.
198
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,231
Oh, piss off.
199
00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:05,904
You both took down your team's
student trainer on her kinesiology co-op.
200
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,346
How'd she find out about... Shh!
201
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:10,973
There's hope for you yet, boys.
202
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,818
We are here asking for
203
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:18,450
five K for 49% of our company.
204
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:19,652
Super.
205
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,404
We want to give
back to the community
206
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:22,987
by investing in the youth, boys.
207
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,531
Really hustle for
the youth, boys.
208
00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:26,088
Uncle Eddie loved kids.
209
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,634
His only shortcoming, really.
210
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:29,669
We want to take the
toughest youth in Letterkenny
211
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,602
and put them into
a house together,
212
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:34,334
with a gym and with a pool.
213
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,399
There, they'll work out together
214
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:38,536
while receiving
instructions from coaches,
215
00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:40,409
Joint Boy and Tyson.
216
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,109
They will then fight
each other one by one
217
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,651
to find out who is, in fact,
218
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:47,016
the toughest kid in Letterkenny.
219
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,817
This concept
sounds a bit familiar.
220
00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:50,379
No, it's a fresh concept, ferda.
221
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:51,857
Ferda fresh.
222
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,203
Well, I'm trying to wrap
my head around this,
223
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,525
so I've got a few
questions here.
224
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,121
So, you want to put a bunch
of dudes in a house together?
225
00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,758
Yes. They'll be
wearing only gym shorts,
226
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,961
as you can see in the poster.
227
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,846
And then you'll have all
these dudes work out together?
228
00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:05,839
Yes, and they'll
always be shirtless
229
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,737
'cause there's no AC. It's hot.
230
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:10,333
Then when all these dudes
are done working out together,
231
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:11,878
they can go swimming together?
232
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,607
Oh, we'll teach them
how to wrestle, too.
233
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,615
Hold downs, full
mount, top control.
234
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:16,725
Throw some booze in the house.
235
00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:17,989
They can have a drink together.
236
00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:24,053
What are you really trying
to accomplish here, boys?
237
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,456
Great presentation.
238
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:28,017
I really love the bulletin
board with all the sweaty dudes.
239
00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:29,722
You can just leave that here.
240
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,594
But I don't think that
Uncle Eddie would say,
241
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,361
"Katy, great investment
in sweaty dudes."
242
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:35,697
And for that reason,
243
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:38,714
I'm out. WAYNE: You
want to know what?
244
00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:40,082
I'm just going to come
right out and say it,
245
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,417
and you can take that
bulletin board with you,
246
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:42,875
please and thanks.
247
00:10:42,942 --> 00:10:45,002
This idea's a tad fruity-loops.
248
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:46,846
And for that reason,
249
00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:48,074
oh, I'm out.
250
00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:50,908
What?
251
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:52,847
Up next in the barn,
252
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:54,410
this bartender
turned dog-breeder
253
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,854
hopes Cupid will find
his way to Letterkenny.
254
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:58,982
Say, Bonnie, could
I get you anything?
255
00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:00,526
A glass of water, or...
256
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,927
I'm okay, Wayne. Thanks, though.
257
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,174
Well, if you change your mind,
258
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,198
you can just run to the
house there, help yourself.
259
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:09,301
Maybe I will run over then.
260
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,369
Can I get you anything?
261
00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:11,529
Well, no, I'm okay.
262
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,150
Do you want anything from the...
263
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,472
Hmm...
264
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:16,669
Wet your whistle.
265
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:18,006
No, I'm good. I got some water.
266
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:20,342
Okay. No, we're okay.
Thank you, Bonnie.
267
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:21,472
Cool, Wayne.
268
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:27,280
Good afternoon, Wayne, Katy.
269
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,651
Gail, how are you now?
270
00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:30,485
Good, and you? Well, not so bad.
271
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:34,885
I'm asking for five K
for 69% of my company.
272
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:36,122
Why 69?
273
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,459
Both sides benefit.
274
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:39,298
Good enough.
275
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:40,993
I want to give back
to the community
276
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:44,333
by helping people find love.
277
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,396
Uncle Eddie was a
notorious matchmaker.
278
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:47,950
And a real fucking
legend on the D floor
279
00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:49,636
right up till the
bitter end. Yeah.
280
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:50,819
And I plan on doing that
281
00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:54,143
by putting 20 women from
Letterkenny into a house with you,
282
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,378
and having 'em all compete
for your hand in marriage.
283
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:58,679
Who, me? Yeah.
284
00:11:58,751 --> 00:11:59,844
Well, get after it.
285
00:11:59,919 --> 00:12:01,751
Isn't this already
a reality series?
286
00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:03,187
If it is, no one watches it.
287
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:04,466
Well, I'd fucking
watch it, boy howdy.
288
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,550
I'll have the girls
perform campy tasks
289
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:09,494
and complete silly challenges
to prove their mettle.
290
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,825
Well, that sounds fun.
291
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,763
Unnecessary, but go on.
292
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:14,312
Then you'd go on
group dates with them
293
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:15,995
and one-on-one dates with them.
294
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,197
And then you ax them one by one
295
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:21,867
until you decide which
one you want to marry.
296
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:22,965
Okay. I'm not sure
297
00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:24,386
it's reasonable that
he could choose
298
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:25,878
a wife based just on that.
299
00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:26,969
I know.
300
00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:30,016
Tastes good, but
where's the cream filling?
301
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,244
Like a Boston cream?
302
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,512
Canadian maple's better.
303
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:33,951
Well, that's a Texas-sized 10-4.
304
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:35,020
Here's the kicker.
305
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,128
When it gets down to
the final three girls, deal is,
306
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,785
you get to go to their houses
and meet their families.
307
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,293
See? Now that's reasonable.
308
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,694
And then you get to spend
a night with each of them,
309
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:46,130
until you decide which
one you want to marry.
310
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:50,493
Is that... Does she...
311
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,538
With all three? Does she mean...
312
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,868
After the...
313
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,351
Well, maybe it means
that I would have to...
314
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:56,885
I don't want to talk
about it, just ask her.
315
00:12:56,909 --> 00:12:58,320
Okay, I'll ask her. You
want to know what?
316
00:12:58,344 --> 00:12:59,835
I got some fucking
questions here.
317
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:01,073
Sha-boink!
318
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,858
Now, when you say I spend
the night with three of them,
319
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:04,874
is it implied I have sex
with all three of them?
320
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,886
Sure is. So, I
meet their families.
321
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,251
Then we go have sex.
322
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,517
I do that with three of them,
before deciding which one
323
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,058
I want to marry? Yeah.
324
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,702
And do the girls know
going into the process
325
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:16,025
that I will be having sex
with them and two other girls
326
00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:17,735
before deciding which
one I want to marry?
327
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,766
Yeah. Maybe more.
328
00:13:19,832 --> 00:13:22,063
And do the girls'
families, who I've just met,
329
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,797
also know, going
into the process,
330
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,805
that I will be having
sex with their daughters,
331
00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:27,950
as well as two other girls
who are not their daughters,
332
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,909
before deciding which
one I want to marry?
333
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,274
Yeah. And the girls,
334
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:34,178
and their families, find
this process entirely rational,
335
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,681
despite how self-harming,
336
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,842
health-hazardous,
and humiliating
337
00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:40,079
it very likely will be? Yeah.
338
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,764
And do you say 20
girls, and their families
339
00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:43,916
will happily sign
up for this process?
340
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,481
Over and over, I imagine.
341
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,459
Oh, Gail, I don't want
to date a girl like that,
342
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:48,825
for fuck's sake.
343
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:50,557
Comes from a
family like that. Fuck...
344
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:53,327
Gail, could there
be a female version
345
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,197
where there's one
girl and 20 dudes?
346
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:56,268
Yeah. I'm in.
347
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,395
No!
348
00:13:57,804 --> 00:13:59,238
Ew!
349
00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:00,305
You're out.
350
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:01,417
And do you want to know what?
351
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:02,841
What? I'm out.
352
00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:04,138
Okay.
353
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:06,889
Up next in the barn,
354
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:09,280
this husband and wife
pair from RR2 Letterkenny
355
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,181
wants to go hunting
for buried treasure.
356
00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:14,080
Bonnie!
357
00:14:15,088 --> 00:14:16,283
Bonnie!
358
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:17,985
Did ya feed the dog? Yes!
359
00:14:18,057 --> 00:14:19,548
Oh, well, thank you.
360
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:20,803
Jim Dickins, how are you now?
361
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,887
Good, and you? Oh, not so bad.
362
00:14:22,962 --> 00:14:24,306
McMurray, how are...
Wayne, how are...
363
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:25,674
Well, good... Well,
I'm good and...
364
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,496
I'm not so... Oh,
not so... Uh...
365
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,502
Not so bad... Go ahead.
366
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,313
You, you were first so...
No, why don't you go ahead?
367
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:32,965
Oh, I didn't want
to be impolite.
368
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,479
Just start talking,
please, McMurray.
369
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,584
So you can go ahead and start...
370
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,353
If you're going to go first,
then it would be your turn...
371
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,188
Just pretend what I had
to say wasn't important.
372
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,456
You're here to
pitch, are you not?
373
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,690
Are you sure you don't
want to say anything?
374
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:43,444
Jesus, Pitter-Patter, McMurray!
375
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:45,027
Good enough. Have
at 'er. Yip, yip, yip.
376
00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,679
Now, we are asking
377
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:49,086
for five K for 5%
of our business.
378
00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:50,188
Okay.
379
00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:51,667
We want to give
back to the community
380
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,284
by helping them
cocksuckers get rich.
381
00:14:53,359 --> 00:14:54,570
Uncle Eddie used
to buy lottery tickets
382
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,114
for the seniors at
the home every week.
383
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,573
And we want to goddamn do that
384
00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:00,396
by auctioning off
other people's shit.
385
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:01,593
Bingo.
386
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:03,863
Did you know
387
00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:05,700
that there are
storage facilities
388
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,331
surrounding Letterkenny
389
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,899
that are filled with
other people's useless
390
00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:12,104
piles of their shit, that
they have forgotten about?
391
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:13,202
Abandoned it, baby.
392
00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:15,271
They abandoned their
shit... Abandoned their shit.
393
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,010
Now, whose knob
do I got to polish
394
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,923
to get a cocksucking gin
and tonic around here?
395
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:21,485
All right. We have secured
the auctioneering right
396
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:23,216
for these such
storage facilities
397
00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:25,451
with the help of our
friend, Jimmy Dickskin.
398
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:26,925
Dickins. That's
exactly what I said.
399
00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:29,271
So, what we want to do is we
want to take people down there
400
00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:30,935
and have them rummage
through all the shit
401
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:32,141
and then buy some of the stuff
402
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,405
and probably, more than likely,
403
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,731
most definitely, find hidden
treasures, gold and jewels.
404
00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:36,979
And I'd settle
for a Tom Collins,
405
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,494
if it'll get this rig rolling.
406
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:40,369
So, you want to sell
other people's shit
407
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,773
that they left in
their storage locker.
408
00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:44,276
Abandoned. Abandoned.
409
00:15:44,343 --> 00:15:46,054
Things that they abandoned.
But it's a storage locker
410
00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:47,740
and nobody's got
any good shit in there.
411
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,743
You would be surprised.
412
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:54,048
I'm never surprised.
413
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,248
Well, you will be once we
show you a demonstration
414
00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,450
of one such storage locker
that we have brought down
415
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,390
from the tiny town of Tiverton.
416
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,621
Baby, if you will.
417
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,534
Shall I call you Vanna,
for a little role-play?
418
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,198
Uh-huh, baby, you
know what I mean?
419
00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:07,699
All right, and a one, and a two,
420
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,912
and a three, Jimmy Dickskin!
Got a beautiful set of DVDs.
421
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:11,480
To start the bidding...
DVDs galore, look at that...
422
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:12,948
One, two, three, four, five.
423
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,373
That's $50 guaranteed
for sure for DVDs alone.
424
00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:17,569
McMURRAY: Then we got
a VCR. That's a vintage VCR.
425
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,875
Guaranteed $50 for that
sweet piece of machinery
426
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:23,007
right then and there.
Maybe $100, maybe $150.
427
00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:24,802
No big problem. What
else have we got, baby?
428
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,451
Fishing lures. What
man doesn't want 'em?
429
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,363
What man doesn't need
'em? What man doesn't throw
430
00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:30,356
fishing lures all over
the goddamn place?
431
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:32,434
Hundreds by the thousands.
Five dollars a fishing lure
432
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:33,892
guaranteeing it
for fucking sure.
433
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,191
So, you got five,
probably times 100,
434
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:38,561
probably $5,000 right
there, sitting alone in that box.
435
00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:40,375
That microwave was probably
touched by Mahatma Gandhi.
436
00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:42,027
Easy! Maybe even Jesus.
437
00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:44,161
The proper thing, I
guarantee ya, is worth
438
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,728
$100,000, no problem.
439
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,831
A bit generous on your
valuations there, bud.
440
00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:49,151
All right, $100,000
might be too much,
441
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:51,201
but maybe $50,000. What
have we got now, baby?
442
00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:53,371
Looks like we got a
handyman storage locker, baby.
443
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,257
McMURRAY: Handyman storage.
444
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:57,011
We got corn silk white.
445
00:16:57,083 --> 00:17:01,077
We got lavender
brush white paint.
446
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:02,621
We got... Mint.
447
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:06,022
Mint cream white paint!
448
00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:07,651
You can cream
all over the place!
449
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,161
All over your ceilings!
450
00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:10,539
You can do them!
They'll come in here
451
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,623
and buy all of that paint
and paint their apartment
452
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,257
and give you $100
cash in your hands.
453
00:17:14,333 --> 00:17:16,268
Ya hear me? What
else we got, baby?
454
00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:18,270
And now we're talking
big money. We got the bits.
455
00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:20,636
We got bits. Bits
coming out of the ass.
456
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,251
Twist bits, drill bits,
fucking Brad bits.
457
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:23,919
All over the place.
Baby's putting them in...
458
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:25,921
Gonna have so many bits,
you can put 'em in your tits.
459
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:27,890
You can put in your mouth,
you can shake 'em all around,
460
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,391
do a little dance,
and all kinds of shit.
461
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:30,993
Bits all over the place.
You can have so many,
462
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:33,195
you can lick 'em, suck 'em,
stick 'em fucking right in...
463
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,363
Not for me, though,
but somebody else
464
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,616
who's into that kind of shit.
465
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:38,283
Each one is guaranteed
to be at least $100.
466
00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:41,191
No problem there,
for sure. $100 each bit!
467
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,252
No, they're not.
Sure God damn are!
468
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:44,922
No, they're not.
469
00:17:44,997 --> 00:17:46,989
Jimmy Dickskin! Dickins!
470
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,644
I know it's Dickins,
and I meant no offense.
471
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,466
I was just trying to
get you to stop the...
472
00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:51,970
Well, the thing you're doing.
473
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:53,870
No one keeps shit
in their storage locker
474
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,533
that you can rich off of.
475
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:57,167
Only shit like Brad
point bits, really.
476
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:58,768
Yep, see. Uncle Eddie
would have wanted
477
00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:01,507
me to take this idea and
put it in a storage locker,
478
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:02,879
then abandon it.
479
00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:05,275
I'm out!
480
00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:07,129
You want to know what?
Whoever called it the Brad point bit
481
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:08,263
would have done
themselves a favor
482
00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:09,755
by calling it the Brad Pitt bit.
483
00:18:09,822 --> 00:18:10,881
But either way,
484
00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:13,224
I'm out.
485
00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:14,670
That's marketing genius
right there, Wayne,
486
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:16,094
but you snooze,
you lose, buggers.
487
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:17,339
You're looking at
three millionaires
488
00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:18,643
walking away
from ya in the dust.
489
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,690
Have a good day! On the morrow!
490
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:23,730
Up next in the barn,
491
00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:24,862
this southern evangelist
492
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:26,148
turned Letterkenny youth worker
493
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:27,765
brings the sound of music.
494
00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:30,240
Bonnie, where'd
you get your dress?
495
00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:32,107
I don't know. It was
a Christmas present.
496
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,237
Can you find out?
497
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:34,473
I think so.
498
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:36,175
It's so cute. Thank you.
499
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:37,307
You're welcome.
500
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:38,612
Do you like it, Wayne?
501
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:39,743
Glen, how're you now?
502
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,811
Oh, good and you? Not so bad.
503
00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:43,719
Well, I want your five K.
504
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:44,789
For what percent?
505
00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:47,326
Uh, at 0%. That's
the Lord's percentage.
506
00:18:47,393 --> 00:18:48,827
Oh, is that what it is? Yes.
507
00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:50,038
Now, what I would like to do,
508
00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:51,553
is to give back to the community
509
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,532
by spreading the
word of Christ...
510
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:54,999
Okay. Through song!
511
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,366
Uncle Eddie was
an atheist. Well...
512
00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:58,647
Then he couldn't
have been a Boy Scout
513
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,537
because atheism
violates our pledge.
514
00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,472
You're a Boy Scout? Uh, yeah.
515
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:04,169
Fastest Boy Scout to
ever earn his badges
516
00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:05,734
in basketing and bugle-ry.
517
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,404
Hey, ya ever had a
Frozen Girl Scout?
518
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,540
Yes! But with three
scoops of chocolate gelato
519
00:19:09,615 --> 00:19:10,742
instead of ice cream.
520
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,478
I'm proudly lactose intolerant.
521
00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:15,214
So am I, but you can power
through that if you really want to.
522
00:19:15,287 --> 00:19:16,346
Wayne!
523
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,387
I'd like to introduce you
524
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:22,951
to Milo, Levi, and Finn.
525
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:24,327
Those sound like stage names.
526
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:27,526
Oh, they are. Their
actual names are Kennedy,
527
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:29,397
Cullen, Campbell.
528
00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:31,630
Those sound like
last names. They are.
529
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:34,674
Now I would like to take
these boys to Los Angeles
530
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:36,902
to audition for a little show
you might have heard of,
531
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:38,467
called America's Got Talent.
532
00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:40,035
Now, I know what
you're thinking.
533
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:41,990
Why can't you just bring
'em to the local model search
534
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,846
and talent show that's
coming to town soon?
535
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,317
Well, I would prefer
to bring them directly
536
00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:48,286
to the epicenter of everything.
537
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:49,583
Make 'em super-famous
538
00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:51,146
and then inspire
loads of other boys,
539
00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:52,691
all over Letterkenny, to sing.
540
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:54,750
What do ya sing?
Oh, we sing Enya.
541
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:55,920
We sing Enya-thing.
542
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,125
It's a choir joke.
543
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,825
Anywho, I'm their choirmaster
544
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:01,663
but I consider myself
to be more of a...
545
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:03,794
A player-coach in
the equationatto.
546
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,235
Because, I mean, frankly,
547
00:20:05,304 --> 00:20:06,982
who wants a trio when
you can have a quartet?
548
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:09,168
Tick-tock. Okay, boys.
549
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,041
Ragazzo!
550
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:12,578
Grazioso.
551
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,113
Espressivo.
552
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,613
Energetico.
553
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:17,081
Grandioso!
554
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:21,686
Finn?
555
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:38,493
I need you to praise him
556
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,836
I want you to praise him
557
00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:41,906
Finn, find me.
558
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:44,409
I need you to praise him
559
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:45,968
I don't know where you are, Finn
560
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,479
But you're not with me
561
00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:50,983
Praise him I need
you to praise him...
562
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:53,110
That'll do, Glen. No,
wait. You know what?
563
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:55,677
Sometimes it helps if I
dance. It helps my glissando.
564
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,883
I need you to praise him
565
00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,949
I want you to praise him...
566
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,618
Glen! I'll praise him...
567
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:03,472
It's the crescendo. Just
wait for the crescendo.
568
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,465
Praise, praise,
praise Praise him
569
00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:12,137
I'm sorry.
570
00:21:15,407 --> 00:21:17,672
Well, there was supposed to be
571
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:20,304
an intermezzo,
572
00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:25,408
but Milo keeps
forcing his falsetto
573
00:21:25,484 --> 00:21:28,249
and not accepting the
fact that he is a castrato.
574
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,289
Okay... And Levi
575
00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:31,619
thinks this is madrigals,
576
00:21:31,690 --> 00:21:34,353
and will not allow
me my obbligato.
577
00:21:34,426 --> 00:21:36,520
Uh-huh? And then there's Finn.
578
00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:39,656
This is not fucking Glee.
579
00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:45,265
Now the soul of the piece
is obviously in my ostinato,
580
00:21:45,337 --> 00:21:46,965
in my "praise him."
581
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,507
By the time we
get to Los Angeles
582
00:21:48,574 --> 00:21:50,099
the piece will begin
with a sonatina,
583
00:21:50,176 --> 00:21:52,077
it will be accompanied
by a partita.
584
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:55,546
It will then accelerando
into a capriccio.
585
00:21:55,614 --> 00:21:58,345
I will play my third
role in the equationatto
586
00:21:58,417 --> 00:22:01,353
as the contralto
of the quartet-o.
587
00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:04,354
So?
588
00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:06,483
Some people prefer a trio.
589
00:22:06,559 --> 00:22:08,084
I am one of those people.
590
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,220
And for that reason, I'm out.
591
00:22:11,463 --> 00:22:12,726
Say, when is Los Angeles?
592
00:22:12,798 --> 00:22:14,528
It's next weekend! Holy fuck.
593
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,035
What? Oh, fuck, bud.
594
00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:18,627
What? I'm out.
595
00:22:26,912 --> 00:22:29,711
Up next, two barn
favorites have a plan.
596
00:22:30,249 --> 00:22:32,275
Hi, Bonnie. Hi, Daryl.
597
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:33,876
Hi, Bonnie!
598
00:22:33,953 --> 00:22:35,216
Hi, Dan.
599
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:37,287
How are you now? Good, and you?
600
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,949
Not so bad. Taking a piss?
601
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:40,390
Just a fucking pisser, yeah.
602
00:22:40,459 --> 00:22:41,483
Okay.
603
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:42,789
I yacked from donkey juice.
604
00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:44,558
Oh, did ya have a
spit? You meat-sauced.
605
00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:46,241
I was up all night, pretty
near spitting everywhere.
606
00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:47,809
That's pretty near the
whole point of donkey juice.
607
00:22:47,833 --> 00:22:49,010
Like, you know you're
gonna have to spit.
608
00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:51,094
Had to call Earl. I
called Huey, too.
609
00:22:51,170 --> 00:22:52,229
Yeah, I solds the Buick.
610
00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:54,296
Oh, did you all toss a
sidewalk pizza? Yep.
611
00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:55,397
Yep. Yeah.
612
00:22:55,474 --> 00:22:56,952
Well, that's pretty near
the point of donkey juice.
613
00:22:56,976 --> 00:22:58,296
Like, you know
you'll have a spit.
614
00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,608
We are asking for five K
615
00:23:00,679 --> 00:23:03,376
for 50% of our business.
Fucking serious?
616
00:23:03,449 --> 00:23:04,559
Oh, we sees
everyone else doing it,
617
00:23:04,583 --> 00:23:06,094
figured we'd toss
our hats in the ring.
618
00:23:06,118 --> 00:23:07,718
You can borrow some
money if you want to.
619
00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:10,146
No, we've got enough
to get by, thanks.
620
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:11,766
Well, we wants to gives
back to the community
621
00:23:11,790 --> 00:23:13,190
by getting jobs for peoples.
622
00:23:13,259 --> 00:23:15,023
Well, Uncle Eddie
used to always say...
623
00:23:15,094 --> 00:23:17,962
"An idle mind is the
devil's playground."
624
00:23:18,030 --> 00:23:20,124
10-4, good buddy. Over and out.
625
00:23:20,199 --> 00:23:22,532
So Dary and me been
making these duck calls
626
00:23:22,601 --> 00:23:23,933
and we wants to
open up a factory
627
00:23:24,003 --> 00:23:25,301
to manufacture these duck calls.
628
00:23:26,705 --> 00:23:29,539
Well, see now that is
a great, original idea.
629
00:23:29,608 --> 00:23:31,543
And, uh, see Dan has a beard
630
00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:34,045
and I'll grow a beard,
and then the only people
631
00:23:34,113 --> 00:23:35,423
that we'd have
working in the factory,
632
00:23:35,447 --> 00:23:36,471
would also have beards.
633
00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:39,847
And that would contribute to
our original and unique brand.
634
00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:42,354
Unique and original.
635
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:43,765
Yeah. And when we're
not making duck calls
636
00:23:43,789 --> 00:23:45,451
to contribute to
our unique brand,
637
00:23:45,524 --> 00:23:47,186
we'd, uh, shoot guns
638
00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:49,626
and blows up beaver dams. Oh.
639
00:23:49,695 --> 00:23:52,324
Will the beavers be out of the
dams before you blow them up?
640
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:01,232
That's unclear.
641
00:24:01,307 --> 00:24:02,707
But a dam's got
to get blowed up.
642
00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:04,586
I'm surprised we're not blowing
up beaver dams right now.
643
00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:05,942
This is a choice idea, boys.
644
00:24:06,011 --> 00:24:09,140
And one that definitely no
one has ever attempted before.
645
00:24:09,214 --> 00:24:11,342
I think I'm in. What
could go wrong?
646
00:24:11,417 --> 00:24:13,648
And after we grows our brand
647
00:24:13,719 --> 00:24:15,449
and got a followings,
648
00:24:15,521 --> 00:24:18,218
we can use our influences
649
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:20,426
to condemn homosexuals.
650
00:24:20,492 --> 00:24:21,492
Oh.
651
00:24:22,995 --> 00:24:25,021
No, no, 'cause...
It's okay because,
652
00:24:25,097 --> 00:24:27,362
You know, once we've
created our brand,
653
00:24:27,433 --> 00:24:28,992
and then condemned
the homosexuals,
654
00:24:29,068 --> 00:24:30,866
we'll just like go
home with our families
655
00:24:30,936 --> 00:24:33,167
to eat supper and then
hold hands and pray.
656
00:24:33,238 --> 00:24:34,416
Well, see now, that's a wee bit
657
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:35,931
of a curve ball,
super-chieftains.
658
00:24:36,008 --> 00:24:37,738
What do you have
against homosexuals?
659
00:24:37,810 --> 00:24:39,073
Me? Nothing.
660
00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:41,204
LQBT is all rights with me.
661
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,475
Daryl? Yeah.
662
00:24:42,548 --> 00:24:44,380
Nothing. So, why do you
want to condemn them?
663
00:24:44,450 --> 00:24:45,450
Yeah?
664
00:24:49,555 --> 00:24:51,990
We... We seens it on a TV shows.
665
00:24:52,057 --> 00:24:53,116
We know. We know.
666
00:24:53,192 --> 00:24:54,602
We actually seens
it on two TV shows.
667
00:24:54,626 --> 00:24:57,323
One was the TV show,
what we seens it on,
668
00:24:57,396 --> 00:24:59,991
and then the other was
a news program about
669
00:25:00,065 --> 00:25:01,863
what we seens on the TV shows.
670
00:25:01,934 --> 00:25:03,129
We know.
671
00:25:03,869 --> 00:25:05,895
But those guys got real popular
672
00:25:05,971 --> 00:25:07,549
and they looked like
they was having lots of fun
673
00:25:07,573 --> 00:25:10,441
so we just figured if
we dids what they dids...
674
00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:11,749
We could have lots of fun, too.
675
00:25:13,379 --> 00:25:15,541
Well, do you still want
to blow up beaver dams?
676
00:25:15,614 --> 00:25:17,254
Oh, can we still blows
up the beaver dams?
677
00:25:17,316 --> 00:25:18,626
Oh, yeah, I kind of
thought this whole
678
00:25:18,650 --> 00:25:20,328
conversation was about
us blowing up beaver dams.
679
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:22,330
I'm surprised you're not blowing
up beaver dams right now.
680
00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:25,119
This idea has lawsuit
written all over it.
681
00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:26,852
This is the worst
pitch we've seen.
682
00:25:26,925 --> 00:25:28,086
Ever.
683
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,129
And for that reason,
684
00:25:30,229 --> 00:25:31,788
I'm out.
685
00:25:31,864 --> 00:25:34,104
You want to know what, Dary?
You can't even grow a beard.
686
00:25:34,233 --> 00:25:35,292
Can too. Cannot.
687
00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:36,630
Can too. Cannot.
688
00:25:36,702 --> 00:25:38,432
Can too! Cannot! Figure it out!
689
00:25:38,504 --> 00:25:41,303
No, can too!
690
00:25:41,373 --> 00:25:43,205
No, you can't.
And for that reason,
691
00:25:43,275 --> 00:25:44,504
I'm out.
692
00:25:50,349 --> 00:25:51,349
But...
693
00:25:52,284 --> 00:25:55,015
Well, what are you
guys doing now?
694
00:25:55,087 --> 00:25:56,087
Me? Nothing.
695
00:25:56,622 --> 00:25:57,783
Do ya want to get hammered?
696
00:25:57,856 --> 00:25:59,000
Yeah, I'd get hammered. Yeah.
697
00:25:59,024 --> 00:26:00,068
I think we're out
of beer, though.
698
00:26:00,092 --> 00:26:01,151
Beer store's closed.
699
00:26:01,226 --> 00:26:02,717
No!
700
00:26:02,795 --> 00:26:04,320
Fuck, do I miss MoDeans.
701
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:07,236
Well, reason fucking five million
we need some sort of bar in this town.
702
00:26:07,966 --> 00:26:10,231
What did you say when I
told you that Uncle Eddie died?
703
00:26:10,302 --> 00:26:11,646
I say he's a good
guy. The other thing?
704
00:26:11,670 --> 00:26:13,390
I say he's a real good
guy. The other thing.
705
00:26:14,373 --> 00:26:17,070
He'd want us to have a party!
706
00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:35,454
Bonnie, thank you
for your help today.
707
00:26:35,527 --> 00:26:37,257
You're welcome, Wayne.
708
00:26:37,329 --> 00:26:38,740
Save me a dance
at the next jamboree?
709
00:26:38,764 --> 00:26:39,788
Can do.
710
00:26:49,341 --> 00:26:50,341
Hey!
711
00:26:51,477 --> 00:26:53,969
We all know Uncle
Eddie was a real good guy.
712
00:26:54,046 --> 00:26:55,723
Oh, he was a great guy!
713
00:26:55,747 --> 00:26:57,325
He was a really good
guy! A real good guy.
714
00:26:57,349 --> 00:26:58,709
He was a really
good guy. Nice guy.
715
00:27:00,085 --> 00:27:01,348
Here's to Uncle Eddie.
716
00:27:01,420 --> 00:27:04,083
And here's to his five K
put back into the community
717
00:27:04,156 --> 00:27:06,785
in the most appropriate
way possible.
718
00:27:06,859 --> 00:27:09,021
Hear, hear!
719
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:13,464
Whoo.
720
00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:18,798
This is definitely what
he wanted, brother.
721
00:27:18,871 --> 00:27:20,863
Did he? Dum-diddy-do.
722
00:27:38,557 --> 00:27:41,049
We're out of beer.
KATY: $5,000 worth?
723
00:27:41,126 --> 00:27:43,391
- Correct.
- Beer store's closed.
724
00:27:43,462 --> 00:27:45,431
No!
724
00:27:46,305 --> 00:28:46,495
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