1 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:12,310 One of your dogs was being a degen the other day... 2 00:00:12,340 --> 00:00:14,210 What's up, what's up... 3 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,680 Don't let the dog lick your boot. 4 00:00:16,710 --> 00:00:18,850 Off you go. Way y'go. Way y'go. Way y'go. 5 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:25,220 -What's the problem? -Your boots are covered in piss. 6 00:00:25,250 --> 00:00:27,620 Are you accusing me of washing my boots in the toilet again? 7 00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:29,390 All dudes' shoes are covered in piss. 8 00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:30,930 From standin' in front of the toilet or a urinal. 9 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:35,200 Your stream hits the water or the porcelain and it goes fuckin' everywhere. 10 00:00:35,230 --> 00:00:36,730 -Prove it. -No, he's right. 11 00:00:36,770 --> 00:00:39,470 Have you ever taken a look at the area half a foot in fronts of a urinal? 12 00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,200 It's like a miniature swamps. 13 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:42,840 Ants could ride sea-doos through it. 14 00:00:42,870 --> 00:00:44,170 Ants can't ride no sea-doos. 15 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,070 Of course ants can't ride no sea-doos! 16 00:00:46,110 --> 00:00:47,910 Just don't let the dog lick your boots. 17 00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:52,080 I mean not to be an expert on the subject, 'cause of course, everybody's a fuckin' expert. 18 00:00:52,110 --> 00:00:54,220 Everybody's a fuckin' expert. Must be nice. 19 00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:56,480 You know, when I was coming up we'd be lucky to even have a dog. 20 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,220 Now everyone's a fuckin' expert. Must be nice. 21 00:00:58,250 --> 00:01:02,320 You guys notice that whenever there's a problem everybody turns into a dog expert? 22 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,130 We oughtta leave this world behind. 23 00:01:08,130 --> 00:01:09,200 Maybe they could. 24 00:01:11,270 --> 00:01:13,000 -Maybe who could? -Ants. 25 00:01:13,030 --> 00:01:14,900 -Could what? -Ride sea-doos. 26 00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:18,840 Good buddy? 27 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:21,280 See, there's a lot of variables at play here, obviously. 28 00:01:21,310 --> 00:01:24,580 But if you ask me if I've heard crazier things than ants riding sea-doos... 29 00:01:25,550 --> 00:01:26,150 I'd say sure. 30 00:01:26,180 --> 00:01:27,080 You'd need a scientist. 31 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,580 You'd need a team of scientists, I think. 32 00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:32,290 Well, ants are smart enough to walk single file and protect their queen. 33 00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:34,860 So, you know, they're just a stone's throw away from humans intelligence-wise. 34 00:01:34,890 --> 00:01:36,960 They're a hop, skip and a jump, if you really think about it. 35 00:01:36,990 --> 00:01:38,790 You get a scientist to make a sea-doo for an ant? 36 00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:42,300 Well, I think a team of scientists, a good one, for sure could. 37 00:01:42,330 --> 00:01:45,100 A scientist making sea-doos for ants would be a tireless job. 38 00:01:45,130 --> 00:01:46,330 Thankless, likely, too. 39 00:01:46,370 --> 00:01:49,040 Well, you operates the gas with your thumb on the sea-doo so, 40 00:01:49,070 --> 00:01:51,810 ants don't got thumbs. That right there is your first obstacles. 41 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:55,280 No, you'd have to get scientists to make the gas a push button 42 00:01:55,310 --> 00:01:56,710 so the ant could just put his foot on it. 43 00:01:56,740 --> 00:01:59,250 It's like if a team of scientists was building a sea-doo for an ant, 44 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:03,150 they could likely just as easily build the ant a bionic thumb to operate the gas with. 45 00:02:03,180 --> 00:02:04,450 So, there's options there. 46 00:02:04,490 --> 00:02:08,090 Yeah. Ant would need a license to operate a personal watercraft. 47 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,260 That's not a big deal. You can get that over the weekend. 48 00:02:11,290 --> 00:02:12,460 But the scientists would have to build them a PFD 49 00:02:12,490 --> 00:02:13,900 because they wouldn't let them take the course without it. 50 00:02:13,930 --> 00:02:17,100 Ants would have no problem stabilizing themselves out on the sea-doo 51 00:02:17,130 --> 00:02:19,230 on accounts that they got more arms and legs than we do. 52 00:02:19,270 --> 00:02:21,670 They've got a leg up on us there, if you wants to be clever about it. 53 00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:24,240 If I'm an ant I'm operating the sea-doo with my antennas. 54 00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:27,610 That way I've got all those arms and legs to stabilize myself on the machine, 55 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:30,450 which you'd need like, if it's a wavy day on the water. 56 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:32,650 It'd still take a lot of concentration from an ant. 57 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,620 Like Dan's gonna fall off two or three times when he gets going. 58 00:02:35,650 --> 00:02:37,050 So it's just trial and error. 59 00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,620 I don't know. 60 00:02:39,820 --> 00:02:40,720 You don't know what? 61 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:43,360 Well, think about Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. 62 00:02:43,390 --> 00:02:47,330 Think about how helpful and resilient the ant was the entire journey. 63 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,330 Well, know what, I'm just gonna come right out and say it, 64 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,130 the kids might never have got un-shrunk if it weren't for the ant. 65 00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:54,370 That's all well and good, but I'm actually quite surprised you guys would suggest that the 66 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:58,640 ants would just up and abandon his post protecting the queen to go ride on sea-doos. 67 00:02:58,670 --> 00:03:00,310 Well, you don't know that ant, Dan. 68 00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:01,240 You know nothing about the ant, Dan. 69 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,440 That's rather presumptuous of youse. 70 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,480 You're an ant comin' up in a tough neighbourhood. 71 00:03:05,510 --> 00:03:07,050 Never caught a break in your life. 72 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:11,020 All of a sudden there's a team of scientists outside your door with a sea-doo. 73 00:03:11,050 --> 00:03:13,350 Dan, look me in the eye right now and tell me you don't ride it. 74 00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:15,020 The ant's buddies would be thrilled to help him out. 75 00:03:15,060 --> 00:03:17,030 They'd happily cover his shift protecting the queen. 76 00:03:17,060 --> 00:03:19,630 An opportunity like that? They'd be linin' up around the anthill. 77 00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:22,160 How many more opportunities like that you think the ant's going to get? 78 00:03:22,830 --> 00:03:24,430 Not many. 79 00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:25,500 That's the first ant in the colony to ride a sea-doo. That's his legacy. 80 00:03:25,530 --> 00:03:28,400 They'd be talking about that ant inter-colonial. 81 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,040 Fire ants wouldn't fuck with him. 82 00:03:30,070 --> 00:03:31,210 He rides sea-doos. 83 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,310 -What's the alternative? -Yeah, what's the alternative? 84 00:03:33,340 --> 00:03:34,780 Work on an ant farm? 85 00:03:34,810 --> 00:03:37,350 That ant's got a life on the outside, he's got to live it God dammit. 86 00:03:37,380 --> 00:03:38,350 His hours might have got cut. 87 00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:40,480 He might have mouths to feed. You don't know. 88 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,750 His wife's thinking about leaving, taking the kids too. 89 00:03:42,780 --> 00:03:44,390 I was out of line. 90 00:03:44,420 --> 00:03:46,390 Well, good people make mistakes, Dan. 91 00:03:46,420 --> 00:03:48,120 Yeah, it's all right. Just... just like, 92 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,560 I don't know, like, down the road, I think, if you hear somebody talkin' about somebody 93 00:03:51,590 --> 00:03:53,830 that they don't really know, you'll swiftly correct them. 94 00:03:53,860 --> 00:03:57,000 I think it's important that they just learn something here. 95 00:03:57,030 --> 00:03:59,470 Not to be an expert, 'cause everybody's a fuckin' expert. 96 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:01,570 Must be nice. 97 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:09,074 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP 98 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,590 Can you get me some sour candies? 99 00:04:24,490 --> 00:04:25,830 Sure, Katy-Kat. 100 00:04:30,970 --> 00:04:32,900 You got him well trained, don't ya? 101 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:42,740 Wayne, how'r ya now. Not s'bad. Good 'n you? Now... now hold on, Wayne, Wayne. 102 00:04:42,780 --> 00:04:44,780 Wayne, we aint' got time for the pleasantries, all right? 103 00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:47,880 Youse guys heard what the hockey coach is up to at the golf course? 104 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,180 Fuck golf. 105 00:04:49,220 --> 00:04:50,990 Fuckin' ankle sock wearin' sallies, that's all I know. 106 00:04:51,020 --> 00:04:52,350 That fuckin' twat 107 00:04:52,390 --> 00:04:55,260 says there's too much shits from Canada Gooses on the golf course. 108 00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:57,390 There's too much shit from Canada Gooses everywhere. 109 00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:59,260 Just keep your dog out of it and keep walkin'. 110 00:04:59,290 --> 00:05:00,800 Exactly. But get this. 111 00:05:00,830 --> 00:05:03,630 To curb the amount of shits from Canada Gooses, 112 00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:06,570 that degenerate son-of-a-bitch has put the wheels in motion 113 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:08,940 to oil and grease up the eggs! Hot Jimmy! 114 00:05:08,970 --> 00:05:11,440 What the fuck ya talkin' about oil and grease up the eggs? 115 00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:12,970 They track down the Canada Gooses nests, 116 00:05:13,010 --> 00:05:15,410 put oil on Canada Gooses eggs so they won't hatch. 117 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,980 -Oh! -(ALL) What?! 118 00:05:17,010 --> 00:05:22,080 So mother Canada Gooses sit on their eggs and wait diligently for them to-- 119 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,690 Hatch, but they never hatch. 120 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:25,990 Canada Gooseslings die inside the egg. 121 00:05:26,020 --> 00:05:27,160 What?! 122 00:05:27,190 --> 00:05:28,520 What?! 123 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:29,620 What?! 124 00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:30,730 What?! 125 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,160 I've never been so irate in my whole fuckin' life! 126 00:05:32,190 --> 00:05:35,330 You fuck with mother nature! You don't fuck with it, cocksucker. 127 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:36,830 You don't fuck with motherhood! 128 00:05:36,860 --> 00:05:39,530 There's a special place in heaven for animal lovers, that's all I know. 129 00:05:39,570 --> 00:05:41,140 Those are fuckin' Canada Gooses. 130 00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:44,340 Those are Canada's fuckin' gooses. 131 00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:46,440 Canada Gooses are majestics. 132 00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:49,480 Barrel-chested. The envys of all ornithologys. 133 00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:52,010 They are leaders. Born and bred leaders. 134 00:05:52,050 --> 00:05:54,120 Canada Gooses are van-fuckin'-garde. 135 00:05:54,150 --> 00:05:55,180 Avant-fuckin'-garde. 136 00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:56,350 Guardians of the fuckin' galaxy! 137 00:05:56,380 --> 00:05:58,550 You wanna know what? You got a problem with Canada Gooses, 138 00:05:58,590 --> 00:06:01,190 you got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate. 139 00:06:01,220 --> 00:06:04,230 Now coach is an expert on Canada Gooses. Must be fuckin' nice! 140 00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:06,390 When I was comings up you'd be lucky to even have Canada Gooses. 141 00:06:06,430 --> 00:06:11,000 Now we got so manys you want to start killin' their babies. Must be fuckin' nice. 142 00:06:11,030 --> 00:06:12,730 You guys ever notice 143 00:06:12,770 --> 00:06:16,200 that as soon as there's a problem around here everybody starts killin' Canada Gooses? 144 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,410 We oughtta leave this world behind. 145 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:20,640 Canada Gooses mate for life. They're just like you and me. 146 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,340 Those cocksuckers help each other fly when they're in the air. 147 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:24,580 They look out for each other. 148 00:06:24,610 --> 00:06:26,080 Now you wanna kill them for takin' shits. 149 00:06:26,110 --> 00:06:29,020 You know, I saw two Canada Gooses mount a swan one time 150 00:06:29,050 --> 00:06:31,520 and you gotta think that swan told her friends about it. 151 00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:32,950 You're goddamn right she did. 152 00:06:32,990 --> 00:06:36,320 I think we all need to take a good look in the mirror and ask ourselves, 153 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:39,330 where we would be without Canada Gooses. 154 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,330 We cannot allows this to happen. 155 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,530 We will not allow this to happen. 156 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,500 I'm about ready to put some anthrax in the fuckin' mail here, that's all I know. 157 00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:48,600 ooh! Settle down, baby. Settle down. 158 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,510 Hey! Let's hit the golf course! 159 00:06:54,710 --> 00:06:56,440 -Hey. Hey, buddy. -Oh, hey, buddy. 160 00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:58,950 You, uh, throwin' some weights around, eh? 161 00:06:58,980 --> 00:07:00,520 Beastin' it up. 162 00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,250 Nice. Muscle confusing. 163 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:03,620 Progressive overloading. 164 00:07:03,650 --> 00:07:04,920 Gettin' yolked. 165 00:07:04,950 --> 00:07:06,120 Gettin' yolked. 166 00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:11,290 Nice. Could use a spot every now and then, though, you know. 167 00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,190 Could use a spot sometimes too. 168 00:07:15,130 --> 00:07:16,330 But I'm... I'm fine, though, man. Like, I'm good. 169 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:20,230 Oh, yeah. No, I'm good, dude. Super good, man. Thanks for... 170 00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:26,110 Sweet... 171 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,610 Who brought the rockets, boys? 172 00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,910 Whose billet brothers are fuckin' rockets, boys? 173 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,610 I'll celebrate your biscuit all night, bud. 174 00:07:32,650 --> 00:07:34,050 Ever gone bar upski? 175 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,380 Fag. 176 00:07:35,420 --> 00:07:37,550 How'd you know your dad's safe word when I fist his ass, bud? 177 00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:39,450 We got real dirty with his dangle, bud. 178 00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:41,590 I fucked your dad with chapped lips and a runny nose. 179 00:07:41,620 --> 00:07:43,860 Fucked your dad with bad bread and B.O. 180 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:46,960 Olympic rules in this shoot-out boys. 181 00:07:46,990 --> 00:07:50,670 Order of shooters is me, me, me and then me, again. 182 00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:52,000 I'm fuckin' T.J Oshie. 183 00:07:52,030 --> 00:07:55,270 You've never seen a two-way centre-man with jam like this, boys. 184 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:58,670 Let's see some jam, boys. Let's see you jam it right up there. 185 00:07:58,710 --> 00:08:00,340 You need a pest on your roster? 186 00:08:00,370 --> 00:08:01,580 I'm a shit disturber. 187 00:08:01,610 --> 00:08:03,440 I'll disturb your shit all night. 188 00:08:08,020 --> 00:08:09,050 Wanna play some Chel? 189 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,720 I should... I should really get back to Katy, buddy. 190 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:13,350 Good call. 191 00:08:13,390 --> 00:08:16,320 Man, she makes me do stuff for her like all the time. 192 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:21,700 I'll play Chel with you, buddy. Let's hit that A button. Ay, ay, ay, ay... 193 00:08:21,730 --> 00:08:26,830 If he gets tired I'll be right there to hit ay, ay, ay, ay, for him. 194 00:08:27,870 --> 00:08:30,400 I'll cover his point... any day. 195 00:08:31,910 --> 00:08:33,270 Must be nice. 196 00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,710 Thank you. I am very good. 197 00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:41,720 So, ladies and gentlemen of the 198 00:08:41,750 --> 00:08:46,650 Letterkenny Grey Granite Copper Crick Whistle Ridge Golf & Country Club, 199 00:08:46,690 --> 00:08:50,160 goose droppings will no longer be impeding our play on this lovely course. 200 00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:52,360 Thank you. Thank you. 201 00:08:52,390 --> 00:08:54,730 Now let's hit the links! 202 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:58,670 Has someone around here got a problem with Canada Gooses takin' Canada deuces? 203 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,070 Must be nice! 204 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,740 When I was comings up we'd be luck to even have oils for our tractors. 205 00:09:04,770 --> 00:09:08,580 Now you got so much of it you want to pour it on eggs. Must be fuckin' nice! 206 00:09:08,610 --> 00:09:11,650 Whenever anybody's got a problem these days it's straight to dumpin' oil on it. 207 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:12,750 We oughtta leave this world behind. 208 00:09:12,780 --> 00:09:14,180 Wanna know what? You got a problem with Canada Gooses, 209 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:18,090 you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate. 210 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:21,990 Leave the egg painting to the Easter Bunny, you pile of shit! 211 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,630 Your wardrobe colour scheme looks like a bi-polar spell! 212 00:09:27,730 --> 00:09:29,360 Get those cocksuckers off your feet! 213 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,370 -Pardon? -The ankle socks, you fuckin' sally. 214 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,670 How does your wife let you leave the house lookin' like that, huh? 215 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:36,570 My wife died three years ago. 216 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,240 Yeah, well, one look at you and it's clear she's in a better place now, you fuckin' asshole! 217 00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:43,740 Look! The oiling of goose eggs was approved by the board, all right? 218 00:09:43,780 --> 00:09:45,510 And a fine board it is. 219 00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:49,620 So your little breaking-glass display is not going to work. 220 00:09:49,650 --> 00:09:52,690 That's why we have a new by-law that prohibits glass bottles. 221 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,520 So all of you are going to get fined. 222 00:09:55,560 --> 00:10:00,800 Fine my balls, you fuckin' dandy. Fine 'em and suck 'em while you're at it, you chooch! 223 00:10:00,830 --> 00:10:02,500 I will do neither of those things, good sir. 224 00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:05,630 There's a special place in heaven for animal lovers, that's what I always say. 225 00:10:05,670 --> 00:10:08,970 Yes. And those animals will now have a special place in heaven, as well. 226 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,870 Along with my wife, Barbara. So, let's hit the links! 227 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:14,910 Fuckin' embarrassing. 228 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,810 I'm ready to drive my car into a crowd. 229 00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:20,620 Just calm down, baby. 230 00:10:20,650 --> 00:10:23,920 Let's get to work on getting the Canada Gooses off the golf course. 231 00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:25,820 We have some coyote decoys in the shed. 232 00:10:25,850 --> 00:10:27,890 Worked for that golf course off the Maitlands River. 233 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:29,460 Uh-hm, it'll work here too. 234 00:10:29,490 --> 00:10:32,660 -Pitter-patter. -We'll get to work on getting ankle socks off the golf course. 235 00:10:32,690 --> 00:10:34,560 -Ain't that right, baby. -Uh-hm. 236 00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:36,560 Let's do this! 237 00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:08,530 -'Sup boys? -Nothing. 238 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,000 You? 239 00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:11,030 Nothin' 240 00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:14,700 I'm not doing a whole lot of anything these days. 241 00:11:14,740 --> 00:11:18,810 Oh. Oh. Be my altar boy, man. Be my altar man. 242 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:23,710 The Lord worketh dayeth and nighteth in his battle to castaway heathenethses. 243 00:11:23,740 --> 00:11:27,210 That's a lot of work for the Lordeth alone. The Lord could useth some helpeth 244 00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:29,780 in his fight against the heathensetheseses... 245 00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:32,390 No! The Lordeth have all the help in the world. 246 00:11:32,420 --> 00:11:36,760 And all they want is your money anyway. Join us. 247 00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:39,830 Connect. Conjugate. 248 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:41,830 Coalesce. 249 00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:44,500 -I'm not really religious, boys. -That'll do. 250 00:11:44,530 --> 00:11:47,070 -Have nothing really against it, though. -That'll do. 251 00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:48,870 Can't we all just hang out? 252 00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:50,100 (ALL) No! 253 00:11:54,710 --> 00:11:58,350 Coyotes. The most obnoxious predators of rural Canadas. 254 00:11:58,380 --> 00:12:01,250 The town'll still give you sixty-five bucks a tail for pickin' 'em off. 255 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,820 To kill coyotes is okay. Coyotes'll raid your hen house. 256 00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:08,220 Coyotes attack your livestock, too. You don't see no Canada Gooses steal with nobody, 257 00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:09,660 good or bad. 258 00:12:09,690 --> 00:12:11,360 No. You know what Canada Gooses do? 259 00:12:11,390 --> 00:12:14,600 Canada Gooses help the people who what's stolen from. That's what Canada Gooses do. 260 00:12:14,630 --> 00:12:16,700 Tell you what, if you're accusing Canada Gooses of stealing, 261 00:12:16,730 --> 00:12:19,400 you're accusing me of stealing and I suggest you let that one marinate. 262 00:12:19,430 --> 00:12:22,100 Let's get real here. Coyote decoys work on Canada Gooses, 263 00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:25,770 but there's not a coyote on planet Earth who wants nothin' to do with no Canada Gooses. 264 00:12:25,810 --> 00:12:30,010 Lions is lucky Canada Gooses don't migrate to Africa. Then they'd be's extinct. 265 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:33,850 The only animal in the animal kingdom what wants anything to do with Canada Gooses 266 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:34,880 is Canada Mooses. 267 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,880 Well, Mike Tyson had a pretty good run of things. 268 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:37,690 Do you wanna know why? 269 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,220 No Canada Gooses in his weight class. 270 00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:41,890 Don't you remember when that plane had to land on the river in New York 271 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:43,490 'cause Canada Gooses flew into the engine? 272 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,460 It's 'cause Canada Gooses likely had intel there was a pedophile or two 273 00:12:46,490 --> 00:12:48,730 on board and took matters into their own hands. 274 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:49,860 As they should! 275 00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:51,100 No innocent people hurt either. 276 00:12:51,130 --> 00:12:52,930 You think that's a fluke? You tell me that's a fluke. 277 00:12:52,970 --> 00:12:53,970 Go ahead and try and tell me that's a fluke. 278 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,070 You try to tell me that's a fluke right now. 279 00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:58,310 Okay, look! No Canada Gooses on the golf course 280 00:12:58,340 --> 00:13:01,240 means no eggs to be oiled. Animal cruelty avoided. 281 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,740 Fuckin' eh. 282 00:13:02,780 --> 00:13:04,610 You know, when I was comin' up you'd be lucky to even have any animals. 283 00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:06,710 Now you got so many animals you wants to be cruel to them? 284 00:13:06,750 --> 00:13:07,750 Must be fuckin' nice! 285 00:13:07,780 --> 00:13:08,750 Any time anybody's got a problem these days 286 00:13:08,780 --> 00:13:11,150 it's straight to being cruel to animals. 287 00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:12,750 We gotta leave this world behind. 288 00:13:12,790 --> 00:13:15,890 Keep it movin'. I wanna get some sun today and there's still lots to do. 289 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,420 For Canada Gooses? 290 00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:18,690 ALL: Anything! 291 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,360 MAN: Quack! Who's that? 292 00:13:24,030 --> 00:13:25,000 Fuckin' embarrassing. 293 00:13:25,030 --> 00:13:27,500 You gonna replace that divot there, asshole? 294 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:31,240 (GLASS SMASHING) That cocksucker went farther than your ball did, you sally. 295 00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:33,170 -Whoa! -You got your pitchin' wedge in there? 296 00:13:33,210 --> 00:13:35,680 I got a pitch for you. Go fuck yourself. 297 00:13:35,710 --> 00:13:36,840 That's impressive. 298 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,250 Heard you were sexually harassing all the beer-kart girls. 299 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,680 Well, we have a beer-kart boy in this club so... 300 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:42,850 -Bingo! -(LAUGHING) 301 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,990 WOMAN: Have some self-respect you fuckin' sally. 302 00:13:46,020 --> 00:13:47,520 You're on Canada Gooses land. 303 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:51,290 You better fix that divot 'cause Canada Gooses would fix it for you. 304 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,790 There's a special place in heaven for friggin' animal lovers, 305 00:13:53,830 --> 00:13:55,930 -that's what I always say. -Um-hmm. 306 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,870 -Watch yourself, baby. -(GLASS SMASHING) 307 00:13:57,900 --> 00:13:59,100 You suck! 308 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,470 Go fuck yourself, ya sally! 309 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:04,610 Dookus... 310 00:14:06,340 --> 00:14:08,010 All right, Jonesy. 311 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:10,980 Despite catastrophic contrariness in character 312 00:14:11,010 --> 00:14:12,980 and concerning contrast in conduct. 313 00:14:13,010 --> 00:14:14,620 Disturbing disparity in demeanour. 314 00:14:14,650 --> 00:14:15,850 Don't be redundant, Roald. 315 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,850 (SNORING) Oh my God, I just woke up. 316 00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,420 Remind me. 317 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:21,660 Do you enjoy gaming? 318 00:14:21,690 --> 00:14:22,720 -Yeah. -Dancing. 319 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:23,820 Dancing. 320 00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:24,960 -No. -Hard drugs? 321 00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:28,800 -That's a fight on sight, buddy. -Qui! C'est parfait! 322 00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:33,900 -Pardon? -I think you mean pardone. Donc ... Faque allons-y! 323 00:14:33,930 --> 00:14:36,400 Jonesy. Do you like bread? 324 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,640 -Yeah. -Uh-hmm. 325 00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:38,910 That's the body of Christ, buddy. Do you like wine? 326 00:14:38,940 --> 00:14:42,980 -Sure. -That's the blood of Christ. Do you like singing? 327 00:14:43,010 --> 00:14:44,910 -Um... -Doot do do do do... 328 00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:47,380 -Do do. -Oh, Lord, did you hear it? 329 00:14:47,410 --> 00:14:51,190 It's the voice of an angel. I think the choice is clear. Just do it! 330 00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:53,890 -But... gaming! -Gaming. 331 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,560 -I love Chel, boys. -Chel it is. 332 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:56,490 Chel it is. 333 00:14:56,520 --> 00:15:01,360 Chel? Uh, no! No! What about... cheese. 334 00:15:02,230 --> 00:15:03,330 Cheese? 335 00:15:04,060 --> 00:15:06,330 Yes. Cheese. 336 00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:10,910 Everyone knows cheese is the milk of Christ. 337 00:15:10,940 --> 00:15:14,940 You've hit the motherlode of cheesie yumminess when you pick Christ. 338 00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:16,540 It's a classic. Bread, wine, cheese. 339 00:15:16,580 --> 00:15:19,910 And also cured in salted dried meats. 340 00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:22,720 That's the flesh of Christ. 341 00:15:22,750 --> 00:15:24,220 -Huh? -See Corinthians! 342 00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:27,020 Bread, wine, cheese, meat! 343 00:15:27,050 --> 00:15:29,090 Christianity is a charcuterie board. 344 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,390 Come have some charcuterie with Christ, Jonesy. 345 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:32,760 You'll like it. It's yummy. 346 00:15:32,790 --> 00:15:34,090 -Blasphemy! -Sacrilege! 347 00:15:34,130 --> 00:15:34,960 What would you know? 348 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,330 (CAR DOOR CLOSES) 349 00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:38,970 Hey, buddy. 350 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,530 Hey, buddy. 351 00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:43,100 Katy send you for some sour candies again? 352 00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:44,410 Yeah, buddy. 353 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,910 Buddy, you should just buy a bunch of packs of sour candies. 354 00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:50,640 You put all the packs of sour candies in a jar at Katy's, 355 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,950 then you won't have to keep coming into town to get sour candies. 356 00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:57,050 She'll have all the sour candies she wants right there. 357 00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,620 Did you know that you're the smartest person that I've ever met? 358 00:16:00,650 --> 00:16:03,160 Back off, Reilly. Jonesy's coming with me. 359 00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:06,960 No he is not! He's coming with us. 360 00:16:06,990 --> 00:16:09,100 I need a crew, buddy. 361 00:16:09,130 --> 00:16:11,100 Jonesy want some charcuterie of Christ? 362 00:16:11,130 --> 00:16:12,300 You must be hungry. You want a snacky? 363 00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:14,440 -Christ gives you snackies. -Jones... come here Jonesy. 364 00:16:14,470 --> 00:16:15,570 You want a little snackie, just... shhh-- 365 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,440 -Jonesy. Come here, Jonesy. -(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 366 00:16:17,470 --> 00:16:18,570 Yummy, yummy. Come here, Jonesy. 367 00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:20,670 Yummy, yummy, snack down. Yummy, yummy, snack down. 368 00:16:20,710 --> 00:16:22,510 -(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) -Who's the good Jonesy? 369 00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:23,640 Come here... come here Jonesy. Come. Come-- 370 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:27,950 Yummy, yummy ... Yummy yummy- Oh who's the good Jonesy? 371 00:16:27,980 --> 00:16:29,080 Jonesy, chel, chel, chel... chel Jonesy, come here buddy. Come on. 372 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,850 Chel, chel, chel, chel, chel, chel, chel, chel, chel... 373 00:16:31,890 --> 00:16:36,260 Bujie, bujie, bujie, bujie... 374 00:16:36,290 --> 00:16:40,930 Chel... chel... Come here, Jonesy. 375 00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,660 (GEESE HONKING) 376 00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:45,470 -MAN: Fuck golf... -Fuckin' embarrassing. 377 00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:48,770 Would you stop talkin' so I can enjoy this peaceful game? 378 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,140 How fuckin' peaceful can it be hackin' it up all day, bud. 379 00:16:52,170 --> 00:16:53,970 -You fuckin' suck. -You're terrible. 380 00:16:54,010 --> 00:16:55,840 I'm not sure time heals that wound. 381 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,810 Must be nice to have time to hack it up all day. Must be nice. 382 00:16:58,850 --> 00:17:01,280 When I was comin' up we'd be lucky to have any times to relax. 383 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:04,050 Now you got enough time to relax and hacks it up. 384 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:05,620 Must be fuckin' nice! 385 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,820 Whenever anybody has a problem these days it's straight to hacking it up 386 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:10,360 and make yourself look like a fuckin' fool on the links. 387 00:17:10,390 --> 00:17:12,030 Gotta leave this world behind. 388 00:17:12,060 --> 00:17:14,460 -Look, the geese-- -Gooses! 389 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,000 ...they're just pheasants with better marketing. 390 00:17:17,030 --> 00:17:19,500 -(GLASS SHATTERS) -You got a problem with Canada Gooses, 391 00:17:19,530 --> 00:17:22,340 you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate. 392 00:17:22,370 --> 00:17:24,840 -(GLASS SHATTERS) -You play the Beatles White Album backwards, 393 00:17:24,870 --> 00:17:25,910 you know what you hear? 394 00:17:25,940 --> 00:17:27,040 Canada Gooses. 395 00:17:27,070 --> 00:17:28,480 Same thing for Michael Jackson's Thriller. 396 00:17:28,510 --> 00:17:31,810 -(GLASS SHATTERS) -And everything Shania Twain's ever recorded! 397 00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:33,910 -(GLASS SHATTERS) -They buried a Canada Gooses feather 398 00:17:33,950 --> 00:17:36,180 at centre ice for Crosby's golden goal in 2010! 399 00:17:36,220 --> 00:17:39,150 When Columbus found North America and the Native Americans were in it, 400 00:17:39,190 --> 00:17:41,490 you know what helped them find the way? Canada Gooses. 401 00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:44,090 And what did you hear right before JFK's got assassinated there, 402 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,390 Fuzzy Zellers? 403 00:17:45,430 --> 00:17:47,360 A Canada Goose trying to warns him. 404 00:17:47,390 --> 00:17:49,200 Did you ever notice how there's always Canada Gooses 405 00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:50,930 flying overhead when there's a fire? 406 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:54,000 They're flapping water on it, but no one calls them heroes. 407 00:17:54,030 --> 00:17:56,770 They're not in it for the glory; they're in it for the people. 408 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:57,770 For the relationships. 409 00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,770 I've noticed walking down the path of my life 410 00:17:59,810 --> 00:18:02,240 usually in the deepest and darkest and saddest times, 411 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,210 there was always one set of footprints in the sand. 412 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:05,680 And they're webbed. 413 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,920 And if my wife were here instead of getting us a cocksucking gin and tonic 414 00:18:07,950 --> 00:18:11,090 she'd say there's a special place in heaven for animal lovers. 415 00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:12,520 Fuckin' embarrassing. 416 00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,120 Bring it. Bring it. Bring it. 417 00:18:14,150 --> 00:18:15,690 Come on. Come on! 418 00:18:30,170 --> 00:18:31,910 See anyone up town? 419 00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:35,810 Yeah, uh, Roald, Stewart, 420 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:40,750 Glen, you know. Jonesy. 421 00:18:40,780 --> 00:18:43,780 I got a whole bag of sour candies for you so you can put 'em in a big jar 422 00:18:43,820 --> 00:18:47,250 and put 'em on the counter it's just... just for you, Katy-Kat. 423 00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:50,620 Oh, no I wanted the sour jellybeans. 424 00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:54,460 Okay, but I just drove all the way to town and... and back. So, uh-- 425 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:58,170 Well, maybe Jonesy can pick them up. Or is Jonesy gone? 426 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:02,340 (ECHOING) Jonesy gone... Jonesy gone... 427 00:19:02,370 --> 00:19:06,270 Jonesy gone... Jonesy gone... Jonesy gone... 428 00:19:06,310 --> 00:19:09,340 -No! -No? 429 00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:13,110 No. No. I'll... I'll... I'll go get... I'll go get them. 430 00:19:13,150 --> 00:19:15,780 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 431 00:20:02,260 --> 00:20:04,630 (INAUDIABLE) 432 00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:07,230 -(GLASS SHATTERS) -So, if I start taking shits on your golf course 433 00:20:07,270 --> 00:20:10,870 you can start killing my babies 'cause it's exact same thing with Canada Gooses. 434 00:20:10,900 --> 00:20:14,370 -It's exact same thing. -Aw, it's fuckin' embarrassing! 435 00:20:14,410 --> 00:20:16,810 -(GLASS SHATTERS) -And how do you thinks Evil Knievel's made all them 436 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,910 dare devil jumps there, shitty John Daleys, Canada Gooses. 437 00:20:19,950 --> 00:20:22,180 Letting them into their jet streams, that's how. 438 00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:23,580 That... that is not true. 439 00:20:23,620 --> 00:20:25,720 The same thing goes for Evil Knievel Junior and Travis Pastrana. 440 00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:27,750 They owe everything they have to Canada Gooses. 441 00:20:27,790 --> 00:20:29,360 -It's not true! -(GLASS SHATTERS) 442 00:20:29,390 --> 00:20:30,790 And most people don't know this 443 00:20:30,820 --> 00:20:35,160 but Canada Gooses were the deciding factor in the 1995 Quebec referendum. 444 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,430 They kept this country together. 445 00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:39,000 -(GLASS SHATTERS) -You got a problem with animal lovers, 446 00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:42,170 you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate. 447 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:46,210 Fine! Fine! The Geese-- 448 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:47,410 -Gooses! -(GRUNTS) 449 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,410 I will call off the oiling of the Goose eggs, all right, 450 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,380 if you will leave this golf course, all right, 451 00:20:52,410 --> 00:20:54,880 and let the members of the Letterkenny 452 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,380 Grey Granite Copper Creek 453 00:20:57,420 --> 00:21:01,460 Whistle Ridge Golf and goddam Country Club, 454 00:21:01,490 --> 00:21:04,220 play this game in peace! 455 00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:10,130 -Do we have your word? -You have my word! 456 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,730 Then come look me in the eye and shake my fuckin' hand. 457 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,270 Hop to it! 458 00:21:16,300 --> 00:21:17,800 Get movin', Tiger stripes Woods. 459 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,840 Horizontal stripes are never flattering. 460 00:21:23,310 --> 00:21:26,950 Thank fuckin' Christ, am I happy to leave this fuckin' Goose factory. 461 00:21:26,980 --> 00:21:29,480 -Holy shit do you hack it up... -Unreal. 462 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,490 Get some ankle socks, you dick head. 463 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,550 Come on, come on, come on, replace those divots. 464 00:21:33,590 --> 00:21:35,490 Those Canada Gooses will do it for you... 465 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:37,960 The fuckin' grass grows ... 466 00:21:39,530 --> 00:21:42,760 Go for an Arnold Palmer... 467 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:48,440 You know, it's hard not to have Canada Gooses backs when they're so close to us as humans. 468 00:21:48,470 --> 00:21:52,410 Male Canada Gooses help female Canada Gooses. 469 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:53,410 They're fuckin' hammered, eh? 470 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,140 It's pretty hard to believe that Canada Gooses 471 00:21:57,180 --> 00:22:00,150 are still labelled a pest species in most rural areas. 472 00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:04,250 Well, if the shoe fits, wear it. If the truth hurts, bare it, bud. 473 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:07,020 I'll always root for the underdog. 474 00:22:07,050 --> 00:22:10,460 The Canada Gooselings are pretty cute when they hatch though, right? 475 00:22:10,490 --> 00:22:12,090 Well, no arguments there, good buddy. 476 00:22:12,130 --> 00:22:13,530 Fuckin' eh. 477 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,100 Have you ever seen how Canada Gooses stray feathers floatin' on water? 478 00:22:16,130 --> 00:22:20,000 They're not even like other bird feathers that get all waterlogged and shit. 479 00:22:20,030 --> 00:22:24,200 No. They're aerodynamic. Aqua-dynamic. 480 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:28,810 It's almost like ants could use their feathers as racing as kayaks or some shit... 481 00:22:30,410 --> 00:22:32,380 Ants racing on kayaks, baby. 482 00:22:32,410 --> 00:22:36,250 Of course they can't, ants can't race no kayaks, honey. 483 00:22:37,550 --> 00:22:39,120 But maybe they coulds. 483 00:22:40,305 --> 00:23:40,354 Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP