1
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:11,070
You finished up
choring the other day.

2
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:12,470
Fucking...

3
00:00:13,740 --> 00:00:15,540
Great day for hay.

4
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,310
Wanna know
the worst part
about doing hay,

5
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:20,250
is all the dust and debris
what gets up your beak.

6
00:00:21,050 --> 00:00:22,450
(BLOWING)

7
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:25,150
Well, that's definitely
the top three worst
parts to doing hay, yeah.

8
00:00:25,190 --> 00:00:27,060
Fuck sakes, Dan,
clean it up.

9
00:00:27,090 --> 00:00:27,960
That's what I was
doing, Ms. Katys.

10
00:00:27,990 --> 00:00:29,490
Don't blow your nose
on your sleeve.

11
00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:32,830
Well, how hard actually
works if you never
blown your nose on your shirt.

12
00:00:32,860 --> 00:00:34,400
KATY: Why are you
taking your boots off, Dary?

13
00:00:34,430 --> 00:00:36,500
Is this the degen convention,
or what's the scoop?

14
00:00:36,530 --> 00:00:37,800
Well how hard've you
actually worked

15
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:40,200
if you don't kick
your boots off
the second you're through?

16
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,040
Keep those flippers
away from me.

17
00:00:42,070 --> 00:00:44,510
What? Don't wanna
my feet marinate
in my sweaty boots.

18
00:00:44,540 --> 00:00:46,410
I suggest you don't let
that one marinate.

19
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:48,210
So you might get
toe-nail fungus.

20
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,610
on account of it's
so moist in there.

21
00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,210
That'll be the last time
I hear that word
coming out of your mouth.

22
00:00:52,250 --> 00:00:53,050
What, fungus?

23
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:54,520
No.
Marinate?

24
00:00:54,550 --> 00:00:56,050
No.
Oh.

25
00:00:56,750 --> 00:00:58,020
MEN: Moist.

26
00:00:58,050 --> 00:00:59,450
Don't tell that
to the good folks
of Moist Jaw, Saskatchewan.

27
00:00:59,490 --> 00:01:03,530
Or the good folks
at Mira-moisti where
they love shucking moysters.

28
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:05,230
Don't forget about
Moistness Tennessees.

29
00:01:05,260 --> 00:01:06,390
The Moist-issippi's
a great river.

30
00:01:06,430 --> 00:01:07,430
You've ever been to Moisti-Gras?

31
00:01:07,460 --> 00:01:09,400
No, but I've been to
the rocky Moisten-range

32
00:01:09,430 --> 00:01:11,070
in the United States
of Amoistica.

33
00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:12,000
I will fight you.

34
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,940
What have got against
the Moistro Fresh Wes?

35
00:01:13,970 --> 00:01:15,200
Moist Def.

36
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:16,870
Modest Moist.
The Moisty Moisty Bosstones.

37
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:17,770
Paul Moist-cartney.

38
00:01:17,810 --> 00:01:19,370
That fucker wrote
Yesterday , Katy.

39
00:01:19,410 --> 00:01:21,780
Gucci-Moist, Meek Moist,
Moisty Cyrus.

40
00:01:21,810 --> 00:01:23,410
The Moist-Fits, Dead-Moist.

41
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:25,350
Moist-tallica's,
Moisters of Puppets.

42
00:01:25,380 --> 00:01:26,920
I'll fucking fight you.

43
00:01:26,950 --> 00:01:28,720
Get 'er a shot of
fuckin' Jagger-moister.

44
00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:30,350
Or a Captain Moist-gan's
and Coke.

45
00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:32,090
We should get her
a Moister Energy Drink ,

46
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:33,560
and then we should
all go race Moisto-cross.

47
00:01:33,590 --> 00:01:35,320
Race some moister trucks.
What's the problem?

48
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,530
(GAGGING)

49
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:42,560
Oh, Jesus.

50
00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,670
Watch the smokes.

51
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,700
There you go.
Now you're moist.

52
00:01:51,670 --> 00:01:54,310
This display courtesy,
of the Three Moist- kateers.

53
00:01:54,340 --> 00:01:57,610
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

54
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:05,074
Watch Movies, TV Series and Live Sports
Signup Here -> WWW.ADMITME.APP

55
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,630
What are yous doing?

56
00:02:10,660 --> 00:02:11,830
What are yous doing?

57
00:02:11,860 --> 00:02:12,930
I asked you first.

58
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,300
Not drinking at 11:00 a.m.

59
00:02:14,330 --> 00:02:16,930
How is that for an answer,
you fucking degen?

60
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,000
Bitch.

61
00:02:18,030 --> 00:02:19,330
That's Queen Bitch, Ugly.

62
00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:22,440
Who comes to the bar
in their barn clothes,
you fucking Ogre?

63
00:02:22,470 --> 00:02:24,440
Yeah, tell Shrek we said hello.

64
00:02:24,470 --> 00:02:26,170
And try not to
fuck his donkey.

65
00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:27,610
Cannibal's a compliment
for you.

66
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:29,840
Keep walking, Critter.
Tough talk.

67
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:31,150
She can back it up too.

68
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:32,950
Try it.

69
00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:36,250
KATY: You selling
cigarettes to kids?

70
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:37,590
Can I help you?

71
00:02:37,620 --> 00:02:39,190
I have a feeling
you're the ones
that are gonna need help.

72
00:02:39,220 --> 00:02:40,120
Move along, Skank.

73
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,290
You're not from
around here, are you?

74
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:43,490
You're deaf?

75
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,660
Take. A. Walk.

76
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:50,630
You's are in deep shit.

77
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,100
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

78
00:02:57,340 --> 00:02:59,140
DAX: I'll give you
a different kind of
clap bomb, boys.

79
00:02:59,170 --> 00:03:01,340
Four pink pills
and she's gone though,
I promise.

80
00:03:01,380 --> 00:03:02,680
Let's set up
in Gretz's office, boys.

81
00:03:02,710 --> 00:03:04,450
Work my quiet zone.
You know what I'm saying?

82
00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:06,150
Remember the Louisville
rubber shaft?

83
00:03:06,180 --> 00:03:07,520
Have a Daxiville
rubber shaft.

84
00:03:07,550 --> 00:03:08,780
Let's have
a Ronnybrooke.

85
00:03:08,820 --> 00:03:11,550
Short side, far side,
blind side, gimme
your best shot.

86
00:03:11,590 --> 00:03:14,220
Five holes are wide open,
boys, take it. Take it!

87
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:16,460
I can stick handle
inside a phone booth, boys.

88
00:03:16,490 --> 00:03:18,130
Let's see your handles.
Show me.

89
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:19,660
I'm a late round
performer, boys.

90
00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:20,700
Let's go seven.

91
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:24,630
I have to say, boys,

92
00:03:24,670 --> 00:03:27,200
that is some of
the finest chirping
that I've ever received.

93
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,200
Ever?
And you're shrines too.

94
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:31,310
your temples, my God.
First team all-stars.

95
00:03:31,340 --> 00:03:34,340
Take that to the temples,
boys, two days written
all over you.

96
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,710
But people aren't
supposed to
enjoy being catcalled.

97
00:03:36,740 --> 00:03:38,180
Yeah, supposed to...

98
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:40,380
not enjoy being catcalled.

99
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:41,820
Yeah, hey, fuck buddy,
if anybody knows

100
00:03:41,850 --> 00:03:43,120
how hot we are,
you're looking at 'em.

101
00:03:43,150 --> 00:03:45,520
There's a line-up
around the block
for this bop-bop shop.

102
00:03:45,550 --> 00:03:47,390
Yeah, and nobody's
kicking this kid out of bed

103
00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:48,820
for eating crackers
that's for sure.

104
00:03:48,860 --> 00:03:52,190
I've yet to see one customer
not come back for seconds
at that buffet.

105
00:03:52,230 --> 00:03:55,260
Yeah, I bet you thought
everybody skips
a continental breakfast.

106
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:56,600
Guess what, they don't.

107
00:03:56,630 --> 00:03:59,370
Take this ride
and you're getting
right back in line, boys.

108
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,400
Truth is, you're
not really
our type, boys.

109
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,070
Bull-fucking-shit.
Think we don't see you
rocking semis?

110
00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:06,440
We're gay guys at the gym,
we're always rocking semis.

111
00:04:06,470 --> 00:04:07,740
It's true though.
You're not our type.

112
00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:09,240
What is your type then,
you fucking liar?

113
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,410
BOTH: Otters.

114
00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:11,850
Like the Eerie Otters?

115
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:14,420
Like the Cal State
Monterey Bay Otters?

116
00:04:14,450 --> 00:04:16,280
No, otters are what
we call skinny hairy dudes.

117
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:17,520
Points for creativity, boys.

118
00:04:17,550 --> 00:04:18,420
Love the hustle, boys.

119
00:04:18,450 --> 00:04:20,690
so, what are we
supposed to call you then?

120
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,190
Our gay buddies
from the gym, or...

121
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,860
We took gay in the expansion
draft from you about
a hundred years back.

122
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,100
Butch?
Shout out to our sisters
in the women's league.

123
00:04:27,130 --> 00:04:28,500
Fruit?
Fruit had a cup of coffee
in the show

124
00:04:28,530 --> 00:04:31,470
a few decades back,
but never really produced
for either of us.

125
00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:33,200
Bear?
You guys released
bear a while back

126
00:04:33,230 --> 00:04:35,370
for under performing
and we got her
at a friendly price.

127
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,210
Been a real stud
for us ever since.

128
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,710
Cub?
Cub's been consistent since
he put her on line with Bear.

129
00:04:39,740 --> 00:04:41,410
Poofter?
Still playing overseas.

130
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:42,510
Likely gonna retire there.

131
00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:44,780
Nellie?
Only your grandpa
remembers that alumni.

132
00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:46,710
Homo?
Homo maybe
in your ring of honor,

133
00:04:46,750 --> 00:04:48,380
but never forget
the body checks

134
00:04:48,420 --> 00:04:50,050
our goons threw down
to end that career.

135
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,790
Creed?
Creed is the best Arena
music of all time.

136
00:04:52,820 --> 00:04:55,120
But still,
it's only for some.

137
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,590
I'm not fucking
saying it.

138
00:04:56,620 --> 00:04:58,160
BOTH: Fag.

139
00:04:58,190 --> 00:05:00,160
Not sure that's PC,
but you said it.

140
00:05:00,190 --> 00:05:01,400
Fag got cut in the '80s,

141
00:05:01,430 --> 00:05:02,560
and may have
cleared waivers,

142
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,400
but we all made
a gentlemen's agreement
not to sign it

143
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,640
because of behavior
detrimental to the league.

144
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,070
Call me Dax.
Call me Ron.

145
00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:11,470
Fuck, let's be buddies,
Daxi.

146
00:05:11,510 --> 00:05:13,440
Let's be buds, Ronzy.
Really?

147
00:05:13,470 --> 00:05:15,010
Yeah. Fuck, you guys
slam crush butts.

148
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:18,010
We slam crush box
and the world keeps on
turning, boys.

149
00:05:18,050 --> 00:05:20,180
JONESY: Well, fuck. Come over
here and lay some skin on me,
Daxi.

150
00:05:20,210 --> 00:05:21,820
REILLY: Lay some skin
on me, Ronzy.

151
00:05:21,850 --> 00:05:22,880
REILLY: Fist time.

152
00:05:25,550 --> 00:05:27,360
(CHUCKLES)
Look.

153
00:05:27,390 --> 00:05:29,360
Jonesy and I, usually just
fist each other like...

154
00:05:29,390 --> 00:05:31,260
Just like that.

155
00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:33,160
Yeah, I know it's that.
No, it's different,
it's supposed to...

156
00:05:33,190 --> 00:05:34,430
It's like this.

157
00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:35,700
Oh, okay.

158
00:05:35,730 --> 00:05:37,370
I guess we better
go talk to Katy-Kat, buddy.

159
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,170
Time to break it
to Kitty-Kat, buddy,

160
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,400
but wait...

161
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,340
You seriously don't
wanna bang us,
you fucking liars?

162
00:05:43,370 --> 00:05:44,540
Come crash my crease,
show stopper.

163
00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:46,870
Two minutes for rough
and give me ten.
I'll get rougher.

164
00:05:46,910 --> 00:05:49,310
Fuck the blue line.
Nothin's offside
over here. Try it.

165
00:05:49,340 --> 00:05:51,880
I'll bulge your twine.
Just try and stop me.
You're gonna love it.

166
00:05:51,910 --> 00:05:54,520
Sauce me a stretch pass,
I'll sauce you a stretch ass.

167
00:05:54,550 --> 00:05:55,820
Let's bury
a howitzer, boys.

168
00:05:55,850 --> 00:05:57,550
Send a howi, I'll get
a stick on it.

169
00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:58,690
Let's go hip to hip.

170
00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:04,660
Their names are
Shyla and Shania.

171
00:06:04,690 --> 00:06:06,630
The two newest strays
on the Rez.

172
00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:08,160
They stole Axe
and Slash from me.

173
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,330
And I'm pretty sure
they're banging them,

174
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,470
'cause they're fucking
banging everyone. Skanks!

175
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:12,600
They're selling
cigarettes to kids.

176
00:06:12,630 --> 00:06:14,970
Yeah, well, kids are shit heads,
like the resilient ones.

177
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,370
They'd have found the darts
one way or another, fuck.

178
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,470
Excuse me, but I earned
the right to sell smokes
in Letterkenny,

179
00:06:19,510 --> 00:06:22,140
and I never sold to anyone
under high school age.

180
00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:23,210
I fucking checked IDs.

181
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,180
They called me a skank.
Game on!

182
00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,420
I really miss
Axe and Slash.

183
00:06:27,450 --> 00:06:28,850
I'm disappointed in them.

184
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:29,920
They're like
my buddies, you know.

185
00:06:29,950 --> 00:06:31,920
So I find them
and beat the shit
out of them?

186
00:06:31,950 --> 00:06:34,060
Well, I was starting to wonder
when the next scrap was coming.

187
00:06:34,090 --> 00:06:35,520
Was starting to think
it was never gonna come.

188
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,060
And I'm not so sures
it's beating the shits
out of Axe and Slash

189
00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:39,890
is gonna makes them
come backs to you, Tanis.

190
00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:41,900
No, no, they need
their asses kicked.

191
00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:43,870
Fucking done.
Every woman knows

192
00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:46,030
the way to a man's heart
ain't through his zipper.

193
00:06:46,070 --> 00:06:47,100
Can confirm.

194
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,200
It's through his stomach.

195
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,270
MEN: Can confirm.

196
00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:52,370
And there is
a big cookout
on the Rez today,

197
00:06:52,410 --> 00:06:54,510
and I am the cookout Queen.

198
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:55,810
Everyone comes my way.

199
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:58,580
So if Axe and Slash
don't come running,
I'm a fucking chimp.

200
00:06:58,610 --> 00:07:00,080
What are you cooking?
What are you cooking?

201
00:07:00,110 --> 00:07:01,150
Everything.

202
00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:04,550
Bison burgers,
Walleye nuggets,
trout fillets,

203
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:07,090
Venison steaks, bannock,
fried bread...

204
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,090
and my famous Indian taco.

205
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,730
You'll have to roll me
out of there, Tanis.

206
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,530
Yeah, they got forklifts
on the Rez there Tanis?

207
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,360
Then she's bought
and paid for.

208
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,560
We cruise on in there,
eat like kings,

209
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:17,870
beat the shit out
of those dudes,

210
00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:20,600
snatch up Axe and Slash,
and away we go.

211
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,240
Don't say that word.
What?

212
00:07:22,270 --> 00:07:24,140
Oh.
MEN: Snatch.

213
00:07:24,170 --> 00:07:25,270
You're gonna bring up
all those rich meats,

214
00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:27,580
and now you don't wanna
talk about snatch-erated fats?

215
00:07:27,610 --> 00:07:29,080
What you never had
a Cabbage Snatch Kid growing up?

216
00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:30,980
What'd you never had
a snatch-and-sniff sticker
when you were a kid?

217
00:07:31,010 --> 00:07:32,610
Everyone loves
snatch-and-win bingo.

218
00:07:32,650 --> 00:07:33,780
Fuck off.

219
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:36,420
How about that Robin Williams
movie, Snatch Adams?

220
00:07:36,450 --> 00:07:37,990
That tugged at a few
heart-strings.

221
00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:39,790
My favorite part
of the Simpsons was
the Itchy and Snatchy Show.

222
00:07:39,820 --> 00:07:41,460
What, you never see
Snathural Born Killers?

223
00:07:41,490 --> 00:07:43,620
Margaret Snatcher was
the Prime Minister
of Great Britain.

224
00:07:43,660 --> 00:07:45,590
Wonder if she ever met
Benedict Cumbersnatch.

225
00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:46,590
He's from over there too, right?

226
00:07:46,630 --> 00:07:48,400
Who wrote that song
 Snatch My Bitch Up?

227
00:07:48,430 --> 00:07:49,400
Definitely not Snatchbox 20.

228
00:07:49,430 --> 00:07:51,100
Or Snatching Pumpkins.
What's the problem?

229
00:07:51,130 --> 00:07:55,570
Shyla and Shania have a bunch
of guys with them so you
might wanna call in a favor.

230
00:07:57,140 --> 00:07:59,910
(MUSIC ON STEREO)

231
00:08:00,810 --> 00:08:03,210
I'll holler one instead. Hey!

232
00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:06,580
Remember when we backed
yous up on the Rez?

233
00:08:06,610 --> 00:08:08,650
Yeah, that time
we didn't have
the Native Flu?

234
00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:09,920
Payback time.

235
00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:11,920
Good. Because we
definitely didn't have
the Native Flu.

236
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:14,420
DARYL: Snatchurally.
Scooby snatch.
What's the problem?

237
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:16,090
To the Rez, pink dicks.

238
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,660
(FINGERS SNAPPING)

239
00:08:21,530 --> 00:08:23,700
The hour is upon us,
Bible thumper.

240
00:08:23,730 --> 00:08:24,930
How'd you know, heathen?

241
00:08:24,970 --> 00:08:26,700
You don't even
wear a watch.

242
00:08:26,730 --> 00:08:28,700
What happened to
he who cast
the first stone?

243
00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:30,510
A broken window likely.

244
00:08:30,540 --> 00:08:32,710
And hopefully no one
seriously injured.

245
00:08:32,740 --> 00:08:35,310
Tell me, preacher,

246
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:39,510
if your God found himself
in a comparable
turf war contingency,

247
00:08:39,550 --> 00:08:41,150
what would
Jesus do?

248
00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:45,850
Jesus would advocate
for empathy,
acceptance and grace.

249
00:08:45,890 --> 00:08:49,660
Jesus might advise you
to take a whack
at his way of life.

250
00:08:49,690 --> 00:08:51,330
Very well.
What?

251
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:52,560
Fuck it.

252
00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:55,530
We will sample his style,
for the day.

253
00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,270
Oh.
Under the condition

254
00:08:58,100 --> 00:08:59,800
that you sample ours.

255
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:02,340
I don't know, Stewart,
I'm hesitant.

256
00:09:02,370 --> 00:09:05,570
What happened to,
"For the Spirit God gave us
does not make us timid"?

257
00:09:05,610 --> 00:09:07,740
Second Timothy 1:7.

258
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:12,150
Oh, you are
proving yourself
exalted, Roald.

259
00:09:12,180 --> 00:09:12,950
 Alors?

260
00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:17,550
 D'accord.
 Allons-y.

261
00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:18,850
But first,

262
00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:22,460
our wardrobes
crave alteration.

263
00:09:30,630 --> 00:09:33,370
You're just gonna let
this chicken
sit uncovered, or...

264
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,840
Put the grill up to 500.
You wanna turn that down
a bit, or...

265
00:09:35,870 --> 00:09:37,910
DAN: Montreal steak spice
would help that Bison meat.

266
00:09:37,940 --> 00:09:39,710
So you gonna sprinkle
some on there or...

267
00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:43,680
Sure you wanna put those
fish and veggies on
at the same time, or...

268
00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:45,950
Yous wanna stop questioning
Auntie Tanis' cooking?

269
00:09:45,980 --> 00:09:48,580
Still you're gonna squirt
a little marinate on there,
or...

270
00:09:48,620 --> 00:09:50,050
Don't say that word.
What, marinate?

271
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,020
No.
Oh.

272
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:53,520
MEN: Squirt.

273
00:09:53,550 --> 00:09:55,760
What the fuck, Tanis,
you love Wu-Tang Clan.
No love for Old Squirty Bastard.

274
00:09:55,790 --> 00:09:57,290
BOTH: Squirt McGirt.

275
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,590
Katy, you love
Odd Future.

276
00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:00,030
You got no love
for Earl Sweatsquirt?

277
00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:01,700
What about Rush drummer
Neil Squirt?

278
00:10:01,730 --> 00:10:03,530
Or Squirton Cummings
of The Guess Whos?

279
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:04,900
Squirtis Mayfield.
Squirt Cobain.

280
00:10:04,930 --> 00:10:07,770
BOTH: Too far.
Rosie loves reading
Squirt Vonnegut literature.

281
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:09,970
Didn't you ever watch
that show when you were
a kid, Squirt and Ernie?

282
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,570
Katy was watching
 Squirty Dancing
just yesterday.

283
00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:15,110
Okay, that's a lie. I was
watching Squirty Dancing.
It's a great movie.

284
00:10:15,140 --> 00:10:17,780
I think it's about time
we revisit the Squirty Harry
film series.

285
00:10:17,810 --> 00:10:19,950
Didn't Kathryn Bigelow
direct that movie,
 The Squirt Locker?

286
00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:22,950
We squirtnear forgot about
Jamie Lee Squrtis.
Fuck!

287
00:10:22,980 --> 00:10:23,920
Squirtnear.

288
00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:24,850
I don't want the squirt
the issue here boys,

289
00:10:24,890 --> 00:10:27,560
but I'm a real sucker
for pencil squirts.

290
00:10:27,590 --> 00:10:28,560
Mini-squirts, boys.

291
00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:30,760
Fuck, Tanis, you got
a half a dozen squirt steaks

292
00:10:30,790 --> 00:10:32,060
on the grill right now.
What's the problem?

293
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:39,330
Really though, are you
gonna squirt a little
marinade on there, or...

294
00:10:39,370 --> 00:10:40,500
Fuck sake.

295
00:10:40,530 --> 00:10:43,840
Allow me to begin
my three step tutorial
on preachin'.

296
00:10:43,870 --> 00:10:45,240
So here's how you start.

297
00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:47,980
Step one, guilt blasting'.

298
00:10:48,710 --> 00:10:50,280
Take to the pulpit,

299
00:10:50,310 --> 00:10:52,010
present yourself
to the congregation

300
00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:53,810
and you really
just let 'em have it.

301
00:10:53,850 --> 00:10:55,820
Goes something like this.

302
00:10:55,850 --> 00:10:57,450
You're all guilty.
You're all sinners.

303
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:01,360
You're all guilty of sin.
You're all guilty
of not asking for forgiveness.

304
00:11:01,390 --> 00:11:03,760
Oh, I know, I know,
I know. Here we go.

305
00:11:03,790 --> 00:11:05,360
We skip into doopa-doopa-doo,

306
00:11:05,390 --> 00:11:07,800
acting like he isn't even there,
he doesn't even matter.

307
00:11:07,830 --> 00:11:09,160
Who cares about Jesus.

308
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,000
'Till somethin' goes wrong.
Till you're served the lemons.

309
00:11:12,030 --> 00:11:14,270
And then suddenly it's,
"Oh, Jesus, help me.
I need you now.

310
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:16,470
"I can't remember
how to make lemonade.

311
00:11:16,500 --> 00:11:19,010
I need your help, Jesus.
I've been bad and I'm scared
and I'm afraid.

312
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:20,710
"Where's my Jesus?
Help me Jesus."

313
00:11:20,740 --> 00:11:23,210
Kind of mean.
Enticing. Step two?

314
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,310
Step two. Guilt blastin'
through prayer.

315
00:11:26,350 --> 00:11:28,150
Five star.

316
00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:31,220
So, this one, you wanna dig
a little bit deeper,

317
00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:33,020
maybe crank everything up
to a eleven. Something...

318
00:11:33,050 --> 00:11:35,060
Something a little like this.
See if you can follow.

319
00:11:35,090 --> 00:11:36,290
Oh, Lord,

320
00:11:36,890 --> 00:11:38,330
it's us again.

321
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,500
Stinky little sinners.
Human sacks of garbage!

322
00:11:41,530 --> 00:11:43,330
Probably already
half way to hell.

323
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,000
You know the drill, Lord.

324
00:11:45,030 --> 00:11:49,400
When everything's going bad,
we come running. When
everything's good, poof!

325
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,410
We act like your grace
is our birthright.

326
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,180
Which it is not!

327
00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:57,140
Oh, I'm sure you're tired.
Lord, you must be exhausted!

328
00:11:57,180 --> 00:11:59,980
You already went ahead
and died for our sins.

329
00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:02,720
Then you went and brought
yourself back from the dead.

330
00:12:02,750 --> 00:12:04,990
I'm tired
just thinking about it.

331
00:12:05,020 --> 00:12:07,350
So you rest for a bit, Lord.
You rest.

332
00:12:07,390 --> 00:12:09,860
And we, we'll just
keep doing
what we do best.

333
00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:12,660
Paving our
own roads to hell.

334
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:14,730
You know the drill. Amen!

335
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:15,760
Bewitching.

336
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:16,930
Oh, what's step three?

337
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,570
Step three,
is the collection plate.

338
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:20,770
Wondrous.

339
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:24,040
Well, that's uh, pretty much
all sure about preachin'.

340
00:12:24,070 --> 00:12:26,510
So, uh, what are
your three steps?

341
00:12:28,810 --> 00:12:30,580
STEWART: Take this.
ROALD: Press play.

342
00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:33,550
BOTH: And dance.

343
00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:36,050
Are you meaning to do
the Bison medium well, or...

344
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,290
Sure you want that raw chicken
so close to the veggies, or...

345
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:40,250
BOTH GIRLS: Shut up!

346
00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:42,190
TANIS: hey! Don't talk
to them like that.

347
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,930
Or what?
Or whatever the fuck
I want!

348
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,760
We hear you like
to bark.

349
00:12:46,790 --> 00:12:48,000
But do you even bite?

350
00:12:48,030 --> 00:12:51,930
Maybe if you spent less
time on your backs,
yous would know.

351
00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:53,770
Or maybe if you
spent less time

352
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,970
selling cigarettes
to kids, you'd know.

353
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,140
TANIS: Uh hmm.

354
00:12:58,170 --> 00:13:00,370
This ain't gonna last.
Yous ain't foolin' anyone.

355
00:13:00,410 --> 00:13:02,780
Yes, it will.
(STAMMERS) Yeah, it will.

356
00:13:02,810 --> 00:13:05,110
Start thinking
with your big brain
not your little brain.

357
00:13:05,150 --> 00:13:06,950
They don't need you, Tanis.

358
00:13:06,980 --> 00:13:09,280
Nobody does.
We've got them now.

359
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,090
There's a bit of char
on your grill, you gonna
scrape that off, or...

360
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:13,190
You gonna bump
that heat down or...

361
00:13:13,220 --> 00:13:16,920
What's that?
Is that a little
trouble in paradise?

362
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,890
You never complained about
Auntie Tanis's cooking.
Just sayin'.

363
00:13:19,930 --> 00:13:21,960
BOTH: Enough!
You tarts can't handle

364
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,770
a barbeque, let alone
handle your scandal.

365
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,600
I can see your
clammy hands
from here.

366
00:13:26,630 --> 00:13:27,940
Do not say that word.

367
00:13:27,970 --> 00:13:29,500
I hate that word.

368
00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:30,810
Which one?
DAN: Oh...

369
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:32,440
ALL: Clammy!

370
00:13:32,470 --> 00:13:35,140
Let's just pump the brakes
and quick fuckin' sec here
your friends in clamellia.

371
00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:36,980
Let's get to
the clam-meat
and potatoes of it.

372
00:13:37,010 --> 00:13:38,680
What'd, you never listen
to Clammy Davis Junior?
What's up?

373
00:13:38,710 --> 00:13:42,420
Clammy Hagar's the superior
Val Halen vocalist. I don't
care what anyone else says.

374
00:13:42,450 --> 00:13:44,650
Clammy Sosa use to hit
them big dingers.

375
00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:46,920
What, you never listen
to Clammy Wynette?
What's the problem?

376
00:13:46,950 --> 00:13:48,420
Shut up!
Nuff talkin'.

377
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:49,660
Nuff chin waggin'.

378
00:13:50,890 --> 00:13:53,090
Which one of yous
called my sister
a skank?

379
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:58,830
Oh, there's not much
I can do about
this one, kiddo.

380
00:13:58,870 --> 00:14:01,270
It's all right, boo.
I got her.

381
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:02,600
Fuck sake.
When's the next
scrap comin'?

382
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,040
Starting to think
it's never gonna
fuckin' come, fuck.

383
00:14:05,070 --> 00:14:07,010
AXE: You gonna give
those nuggets
a flip soon, or...

384
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,540
Want me to do it, or...

385
00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:10,480
BOTH: For fuck sakes.

386
00:14:10,510 --> 00:14:12,750
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

387
00:15:11,910 --> 00:15:13,910
Hi, Katy.
Hi, Katy-Kat.

388
00:15:13,940 --> 00:15:15,780
Pete and repeat. Ola.

389
00:15:15,810 --> 00:15:18,910
So, uh, we were just,
we were just wondering...

390
00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:20,920
Like we're partners.
Kind of.

391
00:15:20,950 --> 00:15:23,950
Um, and we work
well really together

392
00:15:23,980 --> 00:15:25,190
So like, we were
wondering if...

393
00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:27,220
If I would date both
of you again.

394
00:15:27,250 --> 00:15:28,620
REILLY: Actually, yes.
Yeah.

395
00:15:28,660 --> 00:15:33,190
The truth is, guys,
I don't really want
to date either of you.

396
00:15:33,230 --> 00:15:35,760
It's just not really
the right time.

397
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:36,960
BOTH BOYS: Oh.

398
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,700
And now it's just
you guys, so,

399
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,070
think of all the snipes.

400
00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:43,440
BOTH BOYS: Hmm.
Big city slams.

401
00:15:43,470 --> 00:15:45,110
BOTH: Oooh.

402
00:15:45,140 --> 00:15:46,970
Wheel, snipe, celly boys.

403
00:15:47,010 --> 00:15:49,210
BOTH: Dirty fuckin' dangles,
boys!

404
00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:52,780
So...

405
00:15:52,810 --> 00:15:55,950
you still prefer pussy
over a meal made
by Auntie Tanis?

406
00:15:55,980 --> 00:15:57,990
BOTH: They don't
need you, anymore.

407
00:15:58,020 --> 00:15:59,550
You know what I heard.

408
00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:02,990
You guys aren't the only ones
in there. Better watch out
for that yeast.

409
00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:04,930
Do not say that word.

410
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:06,060
Which one, pussy?
No.

411
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,930
Oh...

412
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:09,930
ALL: Yeast!

413
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,300
What'd you never watch
 Beauty and the Yeast
growing up?

414
00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:13,770
You outta your fuckin mind.

415
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,670
What, you never stayed up
for the Yeaster Bunny?

416
00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:17,970
 Yeastern Promises,
it's a great movie.

417
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,810
Yeastbound and Down
is a great shows.

418
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,180
You look more suited
to the Witches of Yeastwick.

419
00:16:22,210 --> 00:16:24,910
Or the Yeast Enders.
Done it.

420
00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:26,980
Look, all we are saying

421
00:16:27,010 --> 00:16:29,520
is Give Yeast a Chance.

422
00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:32,190
Have you ever listened to
the Yeasty Boys?

423
00:16:32,220 --> 00:16:34,660
Ain't you ever been
to Yeast Side Marios?

424
00:16:34,690 --> 00:16:37,020
This isn't Yeast or Famine.

425
00:16:37,060 --> 00:16:38,960
And last but not yeast...

426
00:16:38,990 --> 00:16:40,030
Fuck off.

427
00:16:40,060 --> 00:16:41,400
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

428
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:51,040
I'm fatigued. Feeble.
Flimsy.

429
00:16:51,070 --> 00:16:53,610
Same. Drained.
Dilapidated. Doddering.

430
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,180
I feel strangely fine.

431
00:16:55,210 --> 00:16:57,280
Bombers?
Out of bombers.

432
00:16:58,210 --> 00:16:58,910
Rips?

433
00:16:58,950 --> 00:17:00,650
Oh, I think, Glen
has the rips.

434
00:17:03,180 --> 00:17:04,950
Glen.
Yes?

435
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:05,950
Did any of those rips
survive?

436
00:17:05,990 --> 00:17:08,560
Oh, sure. All of them.
I didn't touch it.

437
00:17:08,590 --> 00:17:10,190
What?

438
00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:14,030
But how did you...
The power of Christ
compels me, Stewart.

439
00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:16,030
You're foolin' us.
No.

440
00:17:16,060 --> 00:17:17,200
I tricked you.

441
00:17:17,230 --> 00:17:19,170
And trickery's
not a sin.

442
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,570
Also, I got you to give
God a try for a day.

443
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,170
Didn't kill you, did it?
No.

444
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,510
As it turns out,
God is actually

445
00:17:27,610 --> 00:17:29,340
pretty metal.
Well, of course he's metal.

446
00:17:29,380 --> 00:17:31,250
Ain't you never heard
of P.O.D.?

447
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,080
We concede, Glen.
Oh.

448
00:17:33,110 --> 00:17:35,320
You have
electrified us
here today.

449
00:17:35,350 --> 00:17:37,720
Oh.
We agree to cut
the pie.

450
00:17:38,690 --> 00:17:40,550
Divvy it up?
Yes.

451
00:17:40,590 --> 00:17:42,760
We can share
the Dollar Store
parking lot.

452
00:17:42,790 --> 00:17:44,160
Hurray!

453
00:17:44,190 --> 00:17:46,260
But you're gonna be
on your way now.

454
00:17:46,290 --> 00:17:48,230
GLEN: Woo!

455
00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:50,400
I'm... I'm done
with this Indian Taco.

456
00:17:50,430 --> 00:17:54,030
I'd invite yous over
but you're too busy
fuckin' up, so...

457
00:17:54,070 --> 00:17:55,870
BOTH: They don't need
you anymore.

458
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:56,900
Chicken's dry.

459
00:17:57,870 --> 00:17:59,110
What?
Nothing.

460
00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:01,180
No. What did you say?

461
00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:03,380
Chicken's dry.
I can hardly
swallow it.

462
00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:05,080
You want it
to be a bit moist.

463
00:18:05,110 --> 00:18:07,280
Argh. Don't say that word.

464
00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:09,080
What word?
Oh.

465
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,120
ALL: Moist.

466
00:18:11,150 --> 00:18:13,120
What? You've never watched
 Mickey and Minnie Moist

467
00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:14,960
growing up? You outta
your fuckin' mind?

468
00:18:14,990 --> 00:18:16,060
Ronald Moist Donald.

469
00:18:16,090 --> 00:18:18,390
Seein' my buddy Ben
on Moisture Chefs Canadas?

470
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:20,690
No. But I'm all caught up
on How to Moist a Murder.

471
00:18:20,730 --> 00:18:22,800
Fuck those Avery's really
put their foots in it now, eh?

472
00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:24,870
My favorite show
is America's Moist Wanted.

473
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:27,730
You gotta respect
athleticisms,
Connor Moist-Gregor,

474
00:18:27,770 --> 00:18:29,740
Conner Moist-David,
Floyd Moist-Weather.

475
00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:31,440
Boy, they're all
at the top of their classes.

476
00:18:31,470 --> 00:18:33,770
They're all driving
Moist-eradis, that's
all I know.

477
00:18:33,810 --> 00:18:37,280
May even a Rolls Moist.
Or maybe a Moist-cedes Benz.

478
00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:39,750
No Moist-subishis
eclipses in this bunch.

479
00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:42,080
They're not using
Capital One Moister-Cards.

480
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:43,280
Nope. They got
Amex Black likely.

481
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:46,790
Moist money,
moist problems.
You're bum scum, bud.

482
00:18:55,330 --> 00:18:56,560
Sled Ted?

483
00:18:58,530 --> 00:18:59,570
Rat Ass?

484
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,870
Jivin' fuckin' Pete.

485
00:19:04,170 --> 00:19:07,070
They've assembled
the Degen All-Stars.

486
00:19:07,110 --> 00:19:09,340
Their organization
is baffling.

487
00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:10,280
The fuck's your name
anyway, bud?

488
00:19:10,310 --> 00:19:14,620
Alistair Orson Westwood Yates.
Baffling.

489
00:19:14,650 --> 00:19:16,780
My name is...
Shut the fuck up.

490
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,990
Let's see you back
it up now, bitch.

491
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,290
Tanis!

492
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,690
We're gonna get
our asses kicked.

493
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:27,260
KATY: Not our pig,
not our farm, boys.

494
00:19:27,290 --> 00:19:29,300
Yous don't need me
anymore, remember?

495
00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:32,830
I, uh, have kind of been
wondering when the next
scrap is coming. Oh, fuck.

496
00:19:33,830 --> 00:19:34,840
Wait for it.

497
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:44,310
We're so sorry, Auntie.
We wanna come back.

498
00:19:44,340 --> 00:19:46,650
We miss you, Tanis.
You took care of us.

499
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,320
We promise, we'll never get
blinded by the pussy again.

500
00:19:49,350 --> 00:19:52,050
We'll swear off
the pussy
for two weeks.

501
00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:53,790
See what happened here
today, ladies.

502
00:19:53,820 --> 00:19:56,090
The way to a man's heart
ain' through his zipper.

503
00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:00,430
Tanis.
Hmm?

504
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:03,360
Let's have a scrap.

505
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,370
About fuckin' time.
I started to think
it was never gonna come.

506
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,640
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

507
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,100
Hmm, this is ever good
there, Auntie.

508
00:21:51,140 --> 00:21:52,270
I know.

509
00:21:52,310 --> 00:21:53,370
Thanks, Tanis.

510
00:21:53,410 --> 00:21:57,180
Auntie Tanis
always takes care
of her cubs, way-hey!

511
00:21:57,210 --> 00:21:59,450
I was a bit worried
when we were cooking
the raw chicken

512
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,780
so close to the veg, but...
WAYNE: Axe!

513
00:22:03,450 --> 00:22:05,450
I fuckin' hate that word.

514
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:06,690
DARYL: What word?
Oh.

515
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,290
BOTH GIRLS: Veg.
Let me talk you of
the vedge, big brother.

516
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,530
I guess we're not gonna
vedge allegiance to
the flag then, eh?

517
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,330
Have a dart?
Have a Benson and Vedges.

518
00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:16,300
Oh, you don't like
Peter Gabriel? That
fucker wrote Vedge-Hammer.

519
00:22:16,330 --> 00:22:18,200
Stevie Nicks.
Vedge of Seventeen.

520
00:22:18,230 --> 00:22:19,430
Stevie Nicks
is a fuckin' vegendary.

521
00:22:19,470 --> 00:22:20,800
Aerosmith,
Living on the Vedge.

522
00:22:20,830 --> 00:22:22,840
Heath Vedger.
JONESY: Vegendary.

523
00:22:22,870 --> 00:22:26,010
You didn't like Edie Vedge-Wick?
That fucker married Kevin Bacon.

524
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:27,540
No, no, no, no, no.
That was Keira Vedgewick.

525
00:22:27,570 --> 00:22:29,440
Edie Vedge-Wick
was Warhol's girl.

526
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,610
Well, I happen to know
for a fact that Dan has

527
00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:34,510
a full vedge boner
for any Vedge-wick.

528
00:22:34,550 --> 00:22:35,780
Avegedly.
Vegitimately.

529
00:22:35,820 --> 00:22:39,550
 Vedge of Tomorrow
starring Tom Cruise
and Emily Blunt.

530
00:22:39,590 --> 00:22:41,150
Amazing movie.
TANIS: Uh-huh.

531
00:22:41,190 --> 00:22:43,320
Well, I don't think you're
going to get a word
in here, vegde-wish good buddy.

532
00:22:45,490 --> 00:22:46,990
Prepare the Vegiment.

533
00:22:47,030 --> 00:22:49,100
Take them veg or alive.

534
00:22:50,430 --> 00:22:51,600
Vegiment!

535
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,130
Fire!

536
00:22:54,170 --> 00:22:56,170
(ALL SCREAMING)

537
00:22:57,540 --> 00:22:59,440
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

537
00:23:00,305 --> 00:24:00,544
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