1 00:00:09,762 --> 00:00:12,322 Eat faster! - Don't chew it. Just swallow it! 2 00:00:14,802 --> 00:00:15,762 Nothing. 3 00:00:16,322 --> 00:00:17,762 Granted, this isn't scientific 4 00:00:17,842 --> 00:00:19,602 but the fact that Reese can't get brain freeze 5 00:00:19,642 --> 00:00:20,802 has to prove something. 6 00:00:21,482 --> 00:00:22,562 Wait. 7 00:00:23,402 --> 00:00:25,282 I'm feeling something in my toes. 8 00:01:01,442 --> 00:01:04,122 We did it! We finally got back at Tim Schwab and his brother. 9 00:01:04,202 --> 00:01:06,082 What'd you do? - We found a dead octopus 10 00:01:06,162 --> 00:01:07,562 in a dumpster at the seafood store. 11 00:01:07,642 --> 00:01:09,402 We shoved its mouth full of medical waste 12 00:01:09,482 --> 00:01:11,042 and put it in the Schwabs' air conditioner. 13 00:01:11,122 --> 00:01:12,722 That'll teach him to say we're obnoxious. 14 00:01:13,002 --> 00:01:15,082 Why didn't you let me help? - It couldn't wait, Dewey. 15 00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:17,122 With a dead octopus, there's a very small window 16 00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:19,162 before it starts smelling like just another dead fish. 17 00:01:19,242 --> 00:01:21,242 Reese, your hands still stink. 18 00:01:21,562 --> 00:01:25,162 Yeah. Like victory. 19 00:01:26,482 --> 00:01:29,162 Well, we can't take a walk without our jackets anymore, Jamie. 20 00:01:29,242 --> 00:01:31,082 It's the first cool day of fall. 21 00:01:31,362 --> 00:01:33,562 Fall reminds adults about our mortality. 22 00:01:33,642 --> 00:01:36,202 But for you, it's just pretty leaves. 23 00:01:37,202 --> 00:01:38,522 What's this? 24 00:01:41,682 --> 00:01:43,882 You're telling me my family hasn't had health insurance 25 00:01:43,962 --> 00:01:45,202 for the last six months? 26 00:01:45,642 --> 00:01:47,762 Yes, I know you never got the check! 27 00:01:47,842 --> 00:01:49,922 There must be some sort of grace period. 28 00:01:50,962 --> 00:01:52,042 And when those two months are over 29 00:01:52,122 --> 00:01:53,722 what's the grace period on that? 30 00:01:54,762 --> 00:01:57,962 No, no, you can't wait until Monday to reinstate us. 31 00:01:58,042 --> 00:02:00,562 We can't go through the whole weekend without health insurance. 32 00:02:01,362 --> 00:02:03,562 Listen, listen, I am speaking to you from a house 33 00:02:03,602 --> 00:02:05,562 full of walking time bombs. 34 00:02:06,602 --> 00:02:09,522 Well, then you're just a bunch of lousy, heartless bastards! 35 00:02:09,602 --> 00:02:11,562 Who you talking to? - March of Dimes. 36 00:02:11,722 --> 00:02:12,602 I got to go to work early. 37 00:02:12,642 --> 00:02:14,562 Hattie's having another secret meeting about the union. 38 00:02:15,282 --> 00:02:16,402 Goodbye. 39 00:02:17,282 --> 00:02:18,442 Bye, hon. 40 00:02:19,202 --> 00:02:21,482 Listen, Jim. Can I call you Jim? 41 00:02:21,922 --> 00:02:23,322 Oh, okay, Steven. 42 00:02:23,482 --> 00:02:24,562 Let me level with you. 43 00:02:24,642 --> 00:02:27,562 Six months ago my wife asked me to do one thing. One. 44 00:02:27,682 --> 00:02:29,722 I was supposed to mail your check. 45 00:02:29,802 --> 00:02:32,882 The woman relies on the fact that I can be occasionally trusted 46 00:02:32,962 --> 00:02:35,042 to perform very simple menial tasks. 47 00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:37,242 Now, if you don't start my insurance 48 00:02:37,322 --> 00:02:39,162 and if anything happens to anyone in this family 49 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:40,962 I am going to have to explain to her 50 00:02:41,042 --> 00:02:43,922 that her entire life is built on a lie! 51 00:02:45,402 --> 00:02:49,442 Well, I just hope that when your marriage blows up in your face 52 00:02:49,522 --> 00:02:50,962 I'm there to see it! 53 00:02:54,362 --> 00:02:57,202 Okay, Jamie, for the next two days there's no getting sick. 54 00:02:57,282 --> 00:02:58,842 There's no getting owies. 55 00:02:59,042 --> 00:03:01,002 All the safety rules your mother and I told you about 56 00:03:01,042 --> 00:03:03,242 well, starting today, we mean them. 57 00:03:07,642 --> 00:03:09,682 Hi, I'm Connie Guzman, Teddy's mother. 58 00:03:09,762 --> 00:03:11,362 I guess our little guys are gonna have a play date this morning. 59 00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:13,722 Oh, right. I'm-I'm Hal. 60 00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,882 I was so relieved we could schedule something today. 61 00:03:15,922 --> 00:03:17,402 I've got a killer day ahead. 62 00:03:18,762 --> 00:03:21,162 What was that? - Well, it was just his allergies. 63 00:03:22,122 --> 00:03:24,442 Allergies? Or disease? 64 00:03:26,082 --> 00:03:28,282 There are a lot of viruses going around. 65 00:03:28,362 --> 00:03:30,482 Some of these kids are nothing but walking germ bags. 66 00:03:33,442 --> 00:03:35,082 He seems a little unresponsive. 67 00:03:35,162 --> 00:03:36,802 Is Jamie's mother home? 68 00:03:36,882 --> 00:03:39,322 Boy, I do not like the way this gland feels. 69 00:03:39,522 --> 00:03:41,482 What did his poop look like this morning? 70 00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:43,482 Mommy. 71 00:03:43,562 --> 00:03:46,202 You know, I'm not sure Teddy's up for a play date today. 72 00:03:46,282 --> 00:03:47,522 Oh, Jamie will be so disappointed. 73 00:03:47,562 --> 00:03:49,762 Come on, Teddy. We're going to Mommy's job interview. 74 00:03:49,842 --> 00:03:50,762 We'll do it again some other time. 75 00:03:50,842 --> 00:03:52,882 Just make sure you bring a note from his doctor. 76 00:04:00,562 --> 00:04:03,522 What are you doing? This is not a toy! 77 00:04:04,082 --> 00:04:06,162 I didn't think I was cutting my bagel with a toy. 78 00:04:06,242 --> 00:04:07,882 This is plenty sharp. 79 00:04:08,242 --> 00:04:09,562 Wait! 80 00:04:10,242 --> 00:04:11,282 Here. 81 00:04:11,922 --> 00:04:13,362 And use the handle. 82 00:04:23,442 --> 00:04:25,602 We're living in a death house. 83 00:04:26,842 --> 00:04:28,402 And that's why I propose 84 00:04:28,482 --> 00:04:30,602 we affiliate ourselves with the Teamsters. 85 00:04:30,682 --> 00:04:34,362 They can deliver a benefits package that's quite substantial. 86 00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:37,242 It's all spelled out in this literature. 87 00:04:37,322 --> 00:04:40,042 Well, I think this is a bad idea. Bad, bad, bad! 88 00:04:40,122 --> 00:04:41,682 Craig, it can't hurt to just listen. 89 00:04:41,762 --> 00:04:43,762 When Mr. Cochran finds out we're talking union 90 00:04:43,842 --> 00:04:45,802 we'll lose all our perks. - What perks? 91 00:04:45,882 --> 00:04:47,762 We get to wear the smocks on our days off. 92 00:04:47,842 --> 00:04:50,322 And they're talking about fixing the hand dryer in the men's room. 93 00:04:51,802 --> 00:04:54,122 I'd just like to thank Hattie for organizing this meeting. 94 00:04:54,402 --> 00:04:55,642 I think it's about time that the people 95 00:04:55,682 --> 00:04:57,242 who really do the work around here 96 00:04:57,402 --> 00:05:01,322 start standing up for ourselves. I for one, am sick of no overtime 97 00:05:01,402 --> 00:05:03,602 no job security. - Excuse me, Joe 98 00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:05,002 I just want to say that 99 00:05:05,042 --> 00:05:07,082 Mr. Cochran makes a lot more money than us. 100 00:05:07,162 --> 00:05:09,282 And I strongly feel that on that basis alone 101 00:05:09,362 --> 00:05:10,642 he should be trusted. 102 00:05:10,722 --> 00:05:12,442 Oh, for God's sake, Craig. 103 00:05:12,522 --> 00:05:13,842 You know what really bothers me? 104 00:05:14,042 --> 00:05:16,962 When I see Mr. Cochran parking his car out front every morning 105 00:05:17,042 --> 00:05:18,762 and we've got to park nine blocks away. 106 00:05:19,242 --> 00:05:21,162 They let us use the shuttle to get to our cars. 107 00:05:21,242 --> 00:05:22,922 That's the city bus, Craig. 108 00:05:23,202 --> 00:05:25,722 I appreciate all the anger that's in this room 109 00:05:25,802 --> 00:05:28,362 and God knows I'm not one to shy away from a fight 110 00:05:28,922 --> 00:05:31,122 but I suggest that instead of starting a union 111 00:05:31,162 --> 00:05:33,522 we form a special committee to maybe 112 00:05:33,882 --> 00:05:36,482 paint Mr. Cochran's house so, he'll want to be nice to us. 113 00:05:37,242 --> 00:05:39,642 Sit down and shut up, Feldspar. 114 00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:41,082 You know what? 115 00:05:41,322 --> 00:05:42,962 I've worked here for almost ten years. 116 00:05:43,042 --> 00:05:44,762 I have never felt we needed a union 117 00:05:45,402 --> 00:05:48,722 but when I think about what this place has done to some of us 118 00:05:48,922 --> 00:05:51,842 how it's made us so afraid to even voice our opinions 119 00:05:52,042 --> 00:05:54,122 then I think maybe we do. 120 00:05:57,362 --> 00:06:00,842 Okay but let the record show that I advocated a policy 121 00:06:00,922 --> 00:06:02,642 of cowardice and appeasement. 122 00:07:02,962 --> 00:07:05,922 Oh, there you. Come here. 123 00:07:06,082 --> 00:07:07,522 Hi. 124 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,882 Okay. 125 00:07:11,162 --> 00:07:13,162 Hattie's been holding these secret union meetings 126 00:07:13,242 --> 00:07:15,402 during our breaks, it's so complicated. 127 00:07:15,482 --> 00:07:17,762 We'd have to pay dues but we'd save on health insurance. 128 00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:20,642 Oh, really? How fast would we get health insurance? 129 00:07:20,802 --> 00:07:22,362 Hattie thinks we can start serious talks 130 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,162 with the Teamsters next month. - Oh, who cares? 131 00:07:25,602 --> 00:07:27,202 Boys, breakfast. 132 00:07:29,242 --> 00:07:30,842 Hal, where are all the forks? 133 00:07:30,962 --> 00:07:33,282 Oh, they were all bent out of shape 134 00:07:33,362 --> 00:07:35,882 so, I sent them out to that guy who fixes them. 135 00:07:37,002 --> 00:07:38,722 The "Fork Straightener? 136 00:07:38,802 --> 00:07:41,082 It's the man's work, Lois. I don't think we should make fun. 137 00:07:41,162 --> 00:07:43,722 Hal, how are the boys gonna eat scrambled eggs without forks? 138 00:07:49,642 --> 00:07:51,042 I have to go. 139 00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:53,202 Honey, you know what's a great look? 140 00:07:53,282 --> 00:07:55,642 I saw this gal the other day in a bike helmet and I thought 141 00:07:55,682 --> 00:07:58,482 Why the heck can't women look this good all the time? 142 00:07:59,042 --> 00:08:00,602 Oh, baby. 143 00:08:00,682 --> 00:08:02,482 Hal, you're messing up my hair. 144 00:08:02,562 --> 00:08:04,522 Okay, look, just buckle up and drive slowly. 145 00:08:04,762 --> 00:08:06,602 Get there late but get there! 146 00:08:09,842 --> 00:08:13,842 Let this be a lesson to every one of you. 147 00:08:15,922 --> 00:08:18,522 What's going on with Hattie? - Cochran fired her this morning. 148 00:08:18,602 --> 00:08:20,122 He said it was for dressing provocatively 149 00:08:20,202 --> 00:08:21,162 but he obviously found out that 150 00:08:21,242 --> 00:08:22,562 she's been calling the union meetings. 151 00:08:22,642 --> 00:08:23,802 That's horrible. 152 00:08:23,882 --> 00:08:25,922 Somebody around here's been snitching to Cochran. 153 00:08:28,922 --> 00:08:29,882 'Craig.' 154 00:08:34,562 --> 00:08:36,642 Craig, is there something you want to tell me? 155 00:08:36,802 --> 00:08:38,442 No, no, not really. 156 00:08:42,762 --> 00:08:44,402 Why won't you look me in the eye? 157 00:08:44,562 --> 00:08:46,402 Why won't you look me in the eye? 158 00:08:53,602 --> 00:08:55,842 I can play this game as long as you can, Lois. 159 00:08:57,922 --> 00:08:59,482 I'll be watching you, Craig. 160 00:08:59,562 --> 00:09:01,122 Nice cover. 161 00:09:05,362 --> 00:09:06,882 Oh, my God! 162 00:09:07,762 --> 00:09:11,002 What is it? - The Schwabs sent out a mass email to everyone at school. 163 00:09:11,242 --> 00:09:12,962 They Photoshopped our heads onto a dirty movie. 164 00:09:13,042 --> 00:09:14,242 Gross! 165 00:09:14,322 --> 00:09:16,602 That can't be a dirty movie. There aren't any girls in it. 166 00:09:18,242 --> 00:09:20,562 Oh, my God! - I'm not homophobic. 167 00:09:20,642 --> 00:09:22,762 If the three of us were gay lovers, I'd be fine with this. 168 00:09:22,842 --> 00:09:25,122 But it's not true! - This is so humiliating. 169 00:09:25,282 --> 00:09:27,162 My abs are way more ripped than that guy's. 170 00:09:27,242 --> 00:09:29,122 We've got to respond. 171 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:30,722 Well, I was saving this one to see 172 00:09:30,762 --> 00:09:32,362 what grade Mr. Watts was going to give me 173 00:09:32,522 --> 00:09:33,602 but we can climb up on the roof 174 00:09:33,682 --> 00:09:35,242 and drop a wasp nest down their chimney. 175 00:09:35,882 --> 00:09:37,242 I have one ready. I've been teasing them 176 00:09:37,322 --> 00:09:38,522 for months to keep them angry. 177 00:09:38,682 --> 00:09:40,002 Perfect. 178 00:09:40,682 --> 00:09:43,322 What does it take to keep you boys safe? 179 00:09:43,402 --> 00:09:44,802 Dad, you don't know what the Schwabs did. 180 00:09:44,882 --> 00:09:47,482 I don't care what they did! What's the matter with you boys? 181 00:09:47,562 --> 00:09:49,442 Don't you realize you can get killed? 182 00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,402 Dad, I'm not going to die. 183 00:09:51,562 --> 00:09:53,122 What? - I'm 17. 184 00:09:54,082 --> 00:09:55,842 And so you can't die? 185 00:09:56,442 --> 00:09:58,522 I just don't see it happening. - I've got news for you, Reese. 186 00:09:58,602 --> 00:10:00,642 17-year-olds die all the time. 187 00:10:00,722 --> 00:10:03,042 Oh, come on, Dad. That's just something they tell you 188 00:10:03,122 --> 00:10:04,802 so, you'll stay off drugs. - That's it! 189 00:10:04,882 --> 00:10:07,442 You're all grounded in your room for the rest of the weekend! 190 00:10:07,522 --> 00:10:09,842 You can't do that! - I know I'm gonna die, Dad. 191 00:10:09,922 --> 00:10:11,682 Nobody is dying in this family 192 00:10:11,762 --> 00:10:13,802 until the start of business Monday morning! 193 00:10:21,322 --> 00:10:23,762 Okay, should there be an actual fire 194 00:10:23,842 --> 00:10:25,922 I think we'll be in pretty good shape. 195 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,602 Did you hear? We did a little investigating. 196 00:10:31,682 --> 00:10:33,402 We found out who Cochran's snitch is. 197 00:10:33,482 --> 00:10:35,122 Oh, no. - It's Joe. 198 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,642 Joe? What about Craig? 199 00:10:37,722 --> 00:10:38,842 What about Craig? 200 00:10:40,602 --> 00:10:42,322 Does Craig know that it's Joe? 201 00:10:42,402 --> 00:10:43,322 Everybody knows. 202 00:10:43,402 --> 00:10:45,042 Cochran just promoted Joe to manager. 203 00:10:45,402 --> 00:10:46,842 We're going to go congratulate him. 204 00:10:47,162 --> 00:10:48,482 Can you hand me some soap? 205 00:10:48,762 --> 00:10:50,042 Sure. 206 00:10:51,762 --> 00:10:54,242 Wow, I had it completely wrong. 207 00:11:01,402 --> 00:11:04,162 Did you get me the information I asked for, Feldspar? 208 00:11:05,202 --> 00:11:06,922 Yes, sir. Lois almost caught me 209 00:11:07,082 --> 00:11:09,322 but I can assure you our secret's safe. 210 00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:11,602 Good, good. Excellent. 211 00:11:11,682 --> 00:11:13,642 Now, you've got to tell me everything. 212 00:11:14,122 --> 00:11:15,722 Of course, sir. 213 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,002 I'll need a complete list of names this time. 214 00:11:18,602 --> 00:11:22,162 They're all here. Just please, sir, make sure this stays quiet. 215 00:11:22,242 --> 00:11:23,602 Don't worry about it. 216 00:11:24,002 --> 00:11:25,082 Thank you, Mr. Cochran. 217 00:11:25,322 --> 00:11:27,602 Looks and brains, you're the complete package, sir! 218 00:11:31,002 --> 00:11:33,682 What the hell are you doing talking to Mr. Cochran, Craig? 219 00:11:33,922 --> 00:11:36,042 Okay, Lois. If you can tell me what you think you saw 220 00:11:36,122 --> 00:11:38,082 that would really help me focus my answer. 221 00:11:38,402 --> 00:11:40,162 Grabbed hair! You grabbed hair! 222 00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:44,002 Craig, I heard you talking about a list of names. 223 00:11:44,482 --> 00:11:45,602 Oh, that. 224 00:11:45,842 --> 00:11:47,882 We were just rating all the hotties in the store. 225 00:11:47,922 --> 00:11:50,922 Don't worry, you're holding your own in both posture and dimples. 226 00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,522 You expect me to fall for that? - I'd appreciate it. 227 00:11:53,682 --> 00:11:56,042 Craig, how could you? 228 00:11:56,122 --> 00:11:58,082 Get away from me, you animals! 229 00:11:58,162 --> 00:12:00,162 Oh, my God. Joe. 230 00:12:03,762 --> 00:12:04,882 Stop! 231 00:12:04,962 --> 00:12:05,962 Stay out of this, Lois. 232 00:12:06,042 --> 00:12:07,402 This is retail justice. 233 00:12:07,882 --> 00:12:10,842 Pull it off. - But you're making a mistake. 234 00:12:10,922 --> 00:12:12,322 Joe isn't the snitch! 235 00:12:12,562 --> 00:12:13,442 What? 236 00:12:14,362 --> 00:12:16,162 The real snitch just confessed to me. 237 00:12:16,442 --> 00:12:17,722 Who is it? - I'm not going to tell you. 238 00:12:17,802 --> 00:12:18,922 I don't want you hurting him. 239 00:12:19,002 --> 00:12:21,842 He's a misguided, weak, pathetic individual who. - It's Craig! 240 00:12:23,842 --> 00:12:24,922 Wait! 241 00:12:28,082 --> 00:12:30,562 Dad, why are you doing this? 242 00:12:32,082 --> 00:12:34,522 We're gonna call child welfare and this time they'll come. 243 00:12:39,082 --> 00:12:41,282 Please don't do this, Dad! It-It's just not necessary. 244 00:12:42,322 --> 00:12:44,802 There. Now we can finally have a nice 245 00:12:44,842 --> 00:12:46,482 safe weekend around here. 246 00:12:49,282 --> 00:12:50,562 Let's do it. 247 00:12:56,162 --> 00:12:59,162 I told you this was worth spending Christmas vacation at Home Depot. 248 00:12:59,522 --> 00:13:02,082 Wait. Dad's gonna kill us when he realizes we're gone. 249 00:13:02,962 --> 00:13:05,242 Maybe we can just pretend we're too secure to care 250 00:13:05,322 --> 00:13:06,562 what the Schwabs think of us. 251 00:13:06,682 --> 00:13:07,882 Nobody's gonna buy that. 252 00:13:07,962 --> 00:13:09,442 We can't let this stand, Dewey. 253 00:13:09,522 --> 00:13:11,922 Remember the day everybody started calling Booger Boy "Booger Boy 254 00:13:12,002 --> 00:13:13,082 and he didn't do anything about it? 255 00:13:13,162 --> 00:13:14,562 What was his real name anyway? 256 00:13:14,602 --> 00:13:15,722 Nobody remembers. 257 00:13:16,682 --> 00:13:18,002 I'm in. 258 00:13:41,642 --> 00:13:43,842 Dad's under there! - Oh, my God, you're right! 259 00:13:44,042 --> 00:13:45,442 Let's go. - No, no, no. 260 00:13:53,162 --> 00:13:55,602 You boys are in so much trouble. 261 00:13:55,682 --> 00:13:56,922 I'm calling Mom. 262 00:13:57,482 --> 00:13:58,482 Dad, are you okay? 263 00:13:58,562 --> 00:14:01,082 I can't feel anything below my left knee. 264 00:14:01,442 --> 00:14:02,882 Is my foot okay? 265 00:14:03,362 --> 00:14:04,842 Your foot looks fine. 266 00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,802 But I think the rest of you is facing the wrong way. 267 00:14:10,802 --> 00:14:13,402 I can't find him anywhere. Have you seen Craig? 268 00:14:13,482 --> 00:14:15,922 Nope. So long, Lois. I'm off to the head office 269 00:14:16,162 --> 00:14:18,282 a place where washing your hands after using the restroom 270 00:14:18,362 --> 00:14:20,082 is a matter of personal choice. 271 00:14:20,242 --> 00:14:21,602 Goodbye, Joe. - By the way 272 00:14:21,682 --> 00:14:23,322 what did Cochran give you to cover for me? 273 00:14:23,962 --> 00:14:26,202 What? - You know, for throwing Craig under the truck. 274 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:27,842 Taking the heat off me. 275 00:14:28,482 --> 00:14:30,242 You really are Cochran's snitch? 276 00:14:30,322 --> 00:14:32,082 No, I'm getting kicked upstairs 277 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,042 because of my skills and motivation. 278 00:14:34,162 --> 00:14:37,122 But that's impossible. I saw Craig handing Cochran a list of names. 279 00:14:37,202 --> 00:14:38,762 What? Oh, those were probably names 280 00:14:38,842 --> 00:14:41,322 for that stupid surprise party he's throwing for you. 281 00:14:41,522 --> 00:14:42,842 What are you talking about? 282 00:14:42,922 --> 00:14:43,882 Craig wanted to make a big deal 283 00:14:43,922 --> 00:14:45,362 out of your tenth anniversary of working here. 284 00:14:45,442 --> 00:14:47,962 I told him it would just depress you but you know Craig. 285 00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,082 Cleanup in the storeroom. 286 00:14:52,042 --> 00:14:53,682 Oh, my God. 287 00:14:55,482 --> 00:14:56,762 Craig! 288 00:14:58,282 --> 00:15:01,482 Oh, Craig. I'm so sorry. 289 00:15:01,562 --> 00:15:04,202 Why didn't you tell me you were planning a party? 290 00:15:04,282 --> 00:15:07,802 You know? Oh, Lord, this day just keeps getting worse. 291 00:15:07,882 --> 00:15:11,242 Oh, Craig, this is all my fault. I feel just awful about this. 292 00:15:11,322 --> 00:15:14,202 I'll do whatever it takes to make this up to you. I'll even make. 293 00:15:14,282 --> 00:15:15,682 Oh, hold on a second. 294 00:15:16,842 --> 00:15:18,482 Hello. - Mom, it's an emergency. 295 00:15:18,562 --> 00:15:20,882 You've gotta come quick. Something horrible happened. 296 00:15:21,762 --> 00:15:23,802 Hello? Dewey! Dewey! 297 00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:25,722 Lois, if you could just get the ropes. 298 00:15:25,802 --> 00:15:27,922 My hands are wet. I think my wrists are bleeding. 299 00:15:28,002 --> 00:15:29,042 I'll be right back. 300 00:15:30,442 --> 00:15:32,362 Party starts at 5:00. 301 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,682 See? Better than new. 302 00:15:38,082 --> 00:15:39,602 That's not going to work, Dad. 303 00:15:39,802 --> 00:15:41,242 You really have to get to the hospital. 304 00:15:41,322 --> 00:15:43,402 I can't go to the hospital! 305 00:15:43,682 --> 00:15:45,762 Nobody in this family can go to the hospital. 306 00:15:45,842 --> 00:15:47,482 We've got no insurance. 307 00:15:47,682 --> 00:15:50,162 Why do you think I've been so concerned about your safety? 308 00:15:50,242 --> 00:15:53,082 Dad, it's not the end of the world. - Of course it is. 309 00:15:53,162 --> 00:15:55,562 Your mother will never forgive me. 310 00:15:56,762 --> 00:15:59,762 This is worse than the time I left Dewey in Mexico. 311 00:15:59,882 --> 00:16:02,122 This is unforgivable. 312 00:16:03,602 --> 00:16:05,322 I'm unforgivable. 313 00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:10,442 Wow. 314 00:16:10,682 --> 00:16:12,002 I didn't think Dad would get this pathetic 315 00:16:12,082 --> 00:16:13,362 till we lock him in a nursing home. 316 00:16:13,482 --> 00:16:16,122 This family deserves better than me. 317 00:16:19,682 --> 00:16:21,242 Your mother's home, boys. 318 00:16:21,642 --> 00:16:22,922 Help me up. 319 00:16:25,322 --> 00:16:27,442 I raced home! What is it? 320 00:16:27,522 --> 00:16:28,842 Honey, there's something you should know. 321 00:16:28,922 --> 00:16:31,122 Nine minutes and 23 seconds. I win. 322 00:16:33,202 --> 00:16:34,122 What are you talking about? 323 00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:35,722 We made a bet to see how quickly you can get here 324 00:16:35,802 --> 00:16:37,242 if you thought there was an emergency. 325 00:16:37,482 --> 00:16:39,442 You don't win. Reese said ten minutes. 326 00:16:39,522 --> 00:16:40,802 But you're not allowed to go over. 327 00:16:40,882 --> 00:16:42,602 You can't decide that now. That's cheating! 328 00:16:42,682 --> 00:16:45,402 You did what? - I don't blame you for being mad, Mom. 329 00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:47,162 Reese underestimates you all the time. 330 00:16:47,242 --> 00:16:48,722 This is just a game? 331 00:16:49,122 --> 00:16:51,562 You made me race across town thinking one of you was dying 332 00:16:51,642 --> 00:16:53,722 and it's just a game? - We got bored. 333 00:16:53,802 --> 00:16:54,842 There's not much to do around here. 334 00:16:54,922 --> 00:16:57,802 Yeah, maybe if you took us on a trip once in a while. 335 00:16:57,882 --> 00:16:59,362 Hal, do you hear this? 336 00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:02,882 I'm on it, Lois. - I can't believe that. 337 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:05,082 Hal, are you crying? 338 00:17:05,162 --> 00:17:06,682 With rage! 339 00:17:06,762 --> 00:17:09,602 You know how mad I get when these boys pull stunts like this. 340 00:17:10,042 --> 00:17:11,962 There's something fishy about this. 341 00:17:12,042 --> 00:17:14,242 Fishy is a nice way to put it, Lois. 342 00:17:14,322 --> 00:17:16,682 They are gonna get the grounding of their life. 343 00:17:16,762 --> 00:17:19,442 They are gonna feel the full brunt of my wrath. 344 00:17:25,122 --> 00:17:26,682 Oh, I've been wrong about so much lately 345 00:17:26,762 --> 00:17:28,322 I don't even trust my own radar. 346 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,922 I got to get back to work. - You start the punishment, Hal 347 00:17:31,002 --> 00:17:32,522 but leave some for me. 348 00:17:34,442 --> 00:17:35,882 Drive safely. 349 00:17:41,962 --> 00:17:43,322 It's gonna be okay, Dad. 350 00:17:43,402 --> 00:17:46,522 It's a very special moment when a father watches his boys 351 00:17:46,602 --> 00:17:48,402 lie to their mother for him. 352 00:17:48,522 --> 00:17:50,762 There's only one thing that can make me prouder. 353 00:17:51,962 --> 00:17:54,802 If one of you could saw off my leg. 354 00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:57,242 Don't worry, Dad. We'll get your knee taken care of. 355 00:17:57,322 --> 00:17:59,922 I told you, we have no medical insurance. 356 00:18:00,002 --> 00:18:03,202 There's no way. - Dad, this is what we do. 357 00:18:08,082 --> 00:18:09,882 Happy anniversary, Lois. 358 00:18:10,322 --> 00:18:12,322 I chewed through my ropes so I could have this set up for you 359 00:18:12,402 --> 00:18:14,762 before you got back. - Oh, Craig. 360 00:18:14,842 --> 00:18:17,082 I invited the entire staff but I guess they didn't show up 361 00:18:17,162 --> 00:18:19,082 on account of seeing me as human garbage. 362 00:18:19,162 --> 00:18:20,802 I wish you'd be mad at me. 363 00:18:20,922 --> 00:18:23,482 Yell at me, tell me I'm a horrible person. Please. 364 00:18:23,562 --> 00:18:25,482 Don't apologize, Lois. 365 00:18:25,602 --> 00:18:28,002 If you want to make me happy, just sit down 366 00:18:28,082 --> 00:18:29,882 and enjoy your party. 367 00:18:35,962 --> 00:18:37,202 Hello, everybody. 368 00:18:37,442 --> 00:18:39,522 Here's one I'm sure you'll all remember. 369 00:18:40,722 --> 00:18:44,002 Here she comes now, our Lois, Lois 370 00:18:47,282 --> 00:18:50,882 Struttin' down the aisle like she doesn't know us 371 00:18:53,642 --> 00:18:57,242 Hey, she wears a smock and she looks all right, yeah 372 00:18:59,762 --> 00:19:03,442 You gotta scan and stock and mark the cat chow 373 00:19:03,522 --> 00:19:06,362 Meow, meow, meow, meow. Yeah. 374 00:19:06,762 --> 00:19:08,082 Yeah" - Yeah. 375 00:19:08,362 --> 00:19:09,282 Yeah" - Yeah. 376 00:19:09,362 --> 00:19:12,802 Yeah" - Yeah. ''Cause she's been here ten 377 00:19:13,082 --> 00:19:14,242 Years 378 00:19:14,442 --> 00:19:17,402 Through the laughs, through the tears 379 00:19:17,482 --> 00:19:20,402 Punchin' in Punchin' out 380 00:19:20,802 --> 00:19:23,722 'Cept that time she had gout 381 00:19:24,082 --> 00:19:26,002 I say yeah" - Yeah. 382 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,602 Yeah" - Yeah. 383 00:19:27,842 --> 00:19:29,522 Yeah" - Yeah. "Yeah" - Yeah. 384 00:19:29,562 --> 00:19:31,402 Yeah" - Yeah. "Yeah 385 00:19:33,682 --> 00:19:35,362 Yeah, the knee's dislocated. 386 00:19:35,602 --> 00:19:38,362 So, what are you? Some kind of prodigy genius doctor? 387 00:19:38,442 --> 00:19:41,682 No, my dad's a really bad doctor. Let's me use his stuff. 388 00:19:43,122 --> 00:19:44,482 You know, boys, I'm not sure we need Richard. 389 00:19:44,562 --> 00:19:47,522 He does great work, Dad. - He set my nose three times. 390 00:19:47,602 --> 00:19:49,762 He gave me a tracheostomy with a crazy straw. 391 00:19:51,482 --> 00:19:54,082 So, so, what kind of anesthetic do you use? 392 00:19:54,682 --> 00:19:57,802 Well, in a case like this you're gonna need about 393 00:19:57,882 --> 00:19:59,442 eight C.C's of. Grab him! 394 00:19:59,602 --> 00:20:02,802 No. No! No! 395 00:20:03,082 --> 00:20:04,642 Hey, look at that.