1
00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:12,273
Give me the candy bar.

2
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:13,622
You heard me, Jamie.

3
00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:15,102
Give it.

4
00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:22,152
Where is it?

5
00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:23,762
Where'd it go?

6
00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:32,467
Wow! I was five before
I got Reese to fall for that.

7
00:00:32,554 --> 00:00:36,601
♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪

8
00:00:36,688 --> 00:00:38,516
♪ I don't know ♪

9
00:00:38,603 --> 00:00:41,780
♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪

10
00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:44,348
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪

11
00:00:44,435 --> 00:00:46,481
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪

12
00:00:46,568 --> 00:00:47,960
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪

13
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,051
♪ And you're not so big ♪

14
00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:53,444
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪

15
00:00:53,531 --> 00:00:55,446
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪

16
00:00:55,533 --> 00:00:58,145
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪

17
00:00:58,232 --> 00:01:00,843
♪ And you're not so big ♪

18
00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:04,890
♪ Life is unfair ♪

19
00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:10,244
Oh!
Sorry.

20
00:01:10,331 --> 00:01:12,333
I didn't... Sorry.

21
00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,812
It's no big deal, Malcolm.

22
00:01:13,899 --> 00:01:16,076
You know, one day
you will be old enough to shave.

23
00:01:17,599 --> 00:01:20,341
-Go.
-Oh... yeah, okay.

24
00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:23,518
That's Jessica, our neighbor.

25
00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:25,476
Mom and Dad are letting her
sleep on our couch

26
00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:27,043
for a week until
her father's arraigned.

27
00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,523
Seems he got drunk
Friday night,

28
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,090
decided to track down
her mom,

29
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:32,788
and tried to drive
a street-sweeper to Mexico.

30
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,964
She has some family issues.

31
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:37,575
LOIS:
Malcolm, Reese,
Jessica, let's go.

32
00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,275
What are you doing?

33
00:01:41,362 --> 00:01:42,928
Are you kidding?

34
00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:44,843
No way I'm letting Jessica
get a look at the goods.

35
00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:46,671
What is taking
you boys so long?

36
00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:48,978
Tell Sasquatch in there to give
us a shot at the bathroom.

37
00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:50,588
Hey, Mom, can I borrow
your car tonight?

38
00:01:50,675 --> 00:01:52,155
Frank Miller's signing
his new graphic novel...

39
00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:54,114
You're going to drive it the way
you threw your pants

40
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:55,419
in a wad behind the hamper
yesterday?

41
00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:57,508
I don't think so.

42
00:01:57,595 --> 00:01:59,031
What?

43
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,599
How does her mind even
form thoughts like that?

44
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:06,561
Is that a bee?

45
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,606
That is how you know
it's fresh.

46
00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:10,869
You won't find any bees
in your store-bought honey,

47
00:02:10,955 --> 00:02:12,175
I'll tell you that much.

48
00:02:12,262 --> 00:02:13,263
Where did this come from?

49
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,047
Spoils of war, Dewey.

50
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,614
You know that beehive in
the toolshed

51
00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:18,268
I've been
battling for months?

52
00:02:18,355 --> 00:02:20,488
Victory is mine.

53
00:02:20,575 --> 00:02:21,619
You did it yourself?

54
00:02:21,706 --> 00:02:23,360
How'd you know how to do that?

55
00:02:23,447 --> 00:02:24,492
It's instinctual.

56
00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:26,015
See, human beings were born

57
00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:29,061
with everything they need
to destroy bees.

58
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,977
Except the poison.
You have to buy that.

59
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:33,936
I feel kind of sorry
for the bees, though.

60
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:35,938
It's survival
of the fittest, Dewey.

61
00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:40,377
If they had won, they'd be
spreading us on toast right now.

62
00:02:40,464 --> 00:02:41,987
Big deal.

63
00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:44,903
So I don't get the car
to go to the book signing.

64
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:47,558
Meeting your heroes is always
such a disappointment anyway.

65
00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,740
Hi, Malcolm.

66
00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:57,351
You got the car?

67
00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:59,266
How'd you get the car?

68
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:00,832
I just had a little
shopping to do,

69
00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,443
and your mom insisted
I take the car.

70
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:03,966
What do you mean,
she insisted?

71
00:03:04,053 --> 00:03:05,141
I've been begging
her for weeks.

72
00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,447
Every time I ask,
she says no.

73
00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:08,100
That's where you
made your mistake.

74
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,711
I just got all vulnerable

75
00:03:09,798 --> 00:03:10,886
and poured on stuff
about my dad.

76
00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:11,974
It was easy.

77
00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:13,062
No way.

78
00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:16,108
Look, Malcolm,
it's not something

79
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,806
I'm proud of, believe me.

80
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:20,852
It's how I've learned to survive
in my twisted family.

81
00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:22,811
They're like a total cesspool
of manipulation

82
00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:24,769
and emotional blackmail.

83
00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:26,728
Everyone screwing
everyone over.

84
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,818
I don't even know a true,
honest way

85
00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:31,559
to connect with people anymore.

86
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:32,777
It's sick.

87
00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:35,389
:
I'm sick!

88
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,173
Jessica, wait.

89
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:39,349
I'm sorry.

90
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:42,570
Aw! Thanks for carrying
my bags for me, Malcolm.

91
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:44,920
Told you it was easy.

92
00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:51,100
You can bite my American ass,
Zhao Lee.

93
00:03:51,187 --> 00:03:52,493
What's that?

94
00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:54,364
The school made us adopt
pen pals

95
00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:55,757
from different countries.

96
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,280
I got stuck with
this loser from China.

97
00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:58,586
What's wrong
with China?

98
00:03:58,673 --> 00:03:59,804
It's not what
you think, Dewey.

99
00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:01,545
He won't send you
illegal fireworks

100
00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:03,634
or get your nunchakus
autographed by the emperor.

101
00:04:03,721 --> 00:04:04,896
The guy's a total jerk.

102
00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:06,942
It started off
with a simple request to

103
00:04:07,029 --> 00:04:09,379
apologize for Pearl Harbor.
The guy wouldn't do it.

104
00:04:09,466 --> 00:04:12,208
He's so arrogant! When I
draw squiggles, it's nonsense.

105
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:13,992
When he does it,
it's a language.

106
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:15,342
I was so pissed.

107
00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:17,474
Then I thought,
be the better man,

108
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:18,779
and reason with the guy.

109
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:20,476
"Do you want me
to kick your butt?

110
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:23,175
Check yes or no."

111
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,699
And there's his response.

112
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:26,527
He couldn't even follow
simple instructions.

113
00:04:26,614 --> 00:04:28,093
"You need help, Reese."

114
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,530
He thinks a whole planet
between us

115
00:04:29,617 --> 00:04:30,661
is going to protect him.

116
00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:31,706
He thinks he's so smart.

117
00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:32,837
We'll see who's smart

118
00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:34,056
when I mail myself
to China

119
00:04:34,143 --> 00:04:35,579
and kick his upside-down ass.

120
00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:37,625
What?
Reese, that's crazy.

121
00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,496
Name one thing that's crazy
about it.

122
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:42,804
You're right.
I take it back.

123
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:44,196
I can't wait
to see his face

124
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,894
when he opens up his mail
and I pop out.

125
00:04:45,981 --> 00:04:47,374
Uh-huh.

126
00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:48,984
And how are you
supposed to get back

127
00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:50,507
after you beat him up?

128
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:52,988
Dewey, you know nothing
about Asian culture.

129
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:55,251
After I humiliate him,
I earn his respect,

130
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,340
plus half his land
and his sister,

131
00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:58,820
if she's hot.

132
00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:01,257
All I got to do is stay off
of Mom's radar

133
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:02,389
for the next three days.

134
00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:05,348
You call this clean?

135
00:05:05,435 --> 00:05:06,958
I have to say, Mom,
if you're just going

136
00:05:07,045 --> 00:05:08,743
to phone it in,
why even bother?

137
00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:11,180
You just bought yourself
two days grounded in your room.

138
00:05:11,267 --> 00:05:12,964
Fine.

139
00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:14,749
Maybe you can use that time
to learn how to roll socks.

140
00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:17,317
Make it three days.
You want to try for more?

141
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,535
Nope. Three's perfect.

142
00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:29,851
Hey. Survivor, huh?

143
00:05:29,938 --> 00:05:33,289
I guess you weren't around
when Uncle Hal came a-knockin'.

144
00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:35,030
Oh, all right, all right.

145
00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:36,423
Let it go.

146
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:37,989
War's over.

147
00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:43,865
All right, knock it off!

148
00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:46,389
I mean it!

149
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:49,218
Back off!

150
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:52,003
I'm warning you!

151
00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:59,315
Your friends died like cowards!

152
00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:03,667
What's wrong with you?

153
00:06:03,754 --> 00:06:05,277
Nothing. I'm fine.

154
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,888
Aw, this crisper is disgusting.

155
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:08,455
It's like vegetable soup
in there.

156
00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:10,282
Malcolm, get a sponge
and clean it out.

157
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,284
Okay.

158
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,549
You're not going to fight me
or try to weasel out of it?

159
00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:17,768
All right, what's wrong?

160
00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:19,335
Nothing. It's just...

161
00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,119
There's this math
test coming up,

162
00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:22,991
and... I don't know...

163
00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:25,167
Malcolm, stop. You're going
to ace it like you always do.

164
00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:26,211
That's just the point.

165
00:06:26,298 --> 00:06:27,256
You totally expect

166
00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:28,562
me to get 100.

167
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,172
My teacher expects me
to get 100.

168
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:32,000
Everyone expects me
to get 100.

169
00:06:32,087 --> 00:06:33,393
Do you know what it's like,

170
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:34,829
every time you do
anything in school,

171
00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:37,484
to have everyone expect
you to be perfect?

172
00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:40,617
Do you have any idea what kind
of pressure that puts on you?

173
00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:44,708
It was so easy.

174
00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:46,884
I started with this load of crap
about my math test,

175
00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:49,234
and then the rest just came
pouring out of me so naturally.

176
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:50,584
Before I knew it,

177
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:51,889
she was telling me
to take the car

178
00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:53,674
and go and have fun
with my friends.

179
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:55,197
She even gave me
money for gas.

180
00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:56,764
Nice.

181
00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:58,113
Is that a tear?

182
00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,593
No.

183
00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:07,209
Six boxes of cereal,

184
00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:08,732
two gallons of milk,

185
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:10,255
eight peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches,

186
00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:12,040
adult diapers
and Mad Libs.

187
00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:13,128
You thought of everything.

188
00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:14,564
And I also packed
some barbells

189
00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,479
so I can get there
in fighting shape.

190
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:18,394
They look like
soup cans.

191
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:20,091
You noticed.

192
00:07:20,178 --> 00:07:21,484
See, there's a lot of things
that serve two purposes.

193
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:22,790
Like my pillow.

194
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:24,879
It's stuffed with M&M's

195
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:27,098
so I can sleep
and snack from the same source.

196
00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:29,579
It's the same way NASA designed
the old space capsules.

197
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,451
The very same.

198
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,191
And you'll be ready with the
tapes to cover with Mom, right?

199
00:07:33,278 --> 00:07:35,455
-Yeah.
-All right, let's get moving.

200
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,979
I want to be at the post office
for the 4:00 pick-up.

201
00:07:38,066 --> 00:07:39,763
Should I get you stamped
"fragile"?

202
00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:41,156
What's that supposed
to mean?

203
00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,526
And the journey begins.

204
00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:11,621
Malcolm, you wouldn't happen
to know the life expectancy

205
00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:12,883
of a bee, would you?

206
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:14,363
I don't know.

207
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:15,886
Great. What's the point
of hauling around

208
00:08:15,973 --> 00:08:17,453
that giant head of yours

209
00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:19,368
if you can't retain
a few simple facts?

210
00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:21,849
Hal, he gets enough
pressure from school

211
00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:23,198
without his family
piling on.

212
00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:25,592
Did Mom just defend me?

213
00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:27,332
Wow, this vulnerability crap

214
00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:29,291
is more effective
than I thought.

215
00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:30,727
Reese's eggs
are stone cold.

216
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,467
Dewey, you can bring
them to him now.

217
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,514
Okay.

218
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,089
REESE:
It's about time, butt-munch.

219
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:46,613
She actually expects me

220
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:47,962
to eat this slop?

221
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,443
Hal... what are you
doing home?

222
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,488
It's 10:15.

223
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:54,446
It's that bee, Lois.

224
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,971
He attacked me again
on my way to the car.

225
00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:58,450
I barely made it
back in here.

226
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,974
The damn thing won't
leave me alone.

227
00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:01,845
He's on some crazy vendetta.

228
00:09:01,932 --> 00:09:03,630
Hal!

229
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:05,457
Okay, maybe it's not that crazy
when you think about it.

230
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,634
I mean, I did kill all
his family and friends

231
00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:08,591
and basically
destroyed

232
00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:10,637
his whole world.

233
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,726
That's got to come
as a blow.

234
00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:14,554
Hal, you have got
to go to work.

235
00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:15,598
I know.
You're right.

236
00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:17,600
This is absurd.

237
00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:19,384
Okay.

238
00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:20,908
Here's the plan, Lois.

239
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:22,213
I am going to move

240
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,519
very casually toward
the back door

241
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:25,521
and draw his attention
over there.

242
00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:28,089
Once he's diverted,
you run lickety-split to my car

243
00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:29,873
and drive it right up here
to the side doors.

244
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:30,961
Honk the horn.

245
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:32,441
Two short beeps, then one long.

246
00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:33,834
I'll count to three--

247
00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:35,009
then we open the doors
simultaneously.

248
00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:36,619
You've got to be kidding me.

249
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:39,579
Hey, I am not going to let
some bee run my life!

250
00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:45,541
Where are you going?

251
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:46,890
Rick Kessler's party.

252
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:47,935
How you getting there?

253
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:49,414
I'm going to tell my mom

254
00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:51,286
how I can't beat people's
expectations

255
00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:52,853
on my science test.

256
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,550
Are you a complete moron?

257
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:57,292
-What?
-Amateurs.

258
00:09:57,379 --> 00:10:00,687
You are not trying to manipulate
a guy here, Malcolm.

259
00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:02,123
You have to use your brain.

260
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,559
But it worked great last time.

261
00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:05,343
Which is why you can
never use it again.

262
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:07,824
Especially with
your mom's radar.

263
00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:10,348
Come on, sit down,
listen to me.

264
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:12,829
You got lucky the first time.

265
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:14,526
But if you want
to pull this off

266
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,180
getting the car two nights
in a row,

267
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:17,921
you have to be
very, very good.

268
00:10:18,008 --> 00:10:19,706
Why can't I just...?

269
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:21,621
Hey, do you want to ride
Jamie's Big Wheel to the party?

270
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,187
I am telling you,

271
00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:25,581
you have to share
some real fear

272
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:27,322
or feeling of inadequacy.

273
00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:28,976
If you are not
totally honest,

274
00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:30,499
she will see right through
your scam.

275
00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:32,370
Okay.

276
00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:34,546
So, like what?

277
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,939
Well, I don't know.
What do you got?

278
00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:39,290
Well, I, uh...

279
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:42,032
Come on, Malcolm,
your biggest problem
is choosing one.

280
00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:44,861
Okay, well, I'm not that tall.

281
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:46,036
That's what you're
going with?

282
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:47,690
I don't know. This is hard.

283
00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:49,910
We'll go down the list
and see which one

284
00:10:49,997 --> 00:10:51,868
makes you feel the most
uncomfortable.

285
00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:54,523
-We've established that
you're short.
-Yeah.

286
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,481
-And pretty scrawny.
-Yeah.

287
00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:58,309
-And completely self-absorbed.
-Yeah.

288
00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:00,529
-Huge mother issues.
-Yeah.

289
00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:02,009
You don't really put out
a sexual vibe.

290
00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:03,358
-Hey!
-Bingo.

291
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:14,412
It was amazing.

292
00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:16,371
We've never really
talked like that.

293
00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:19,679
She said she felt like
a total outcast in high school.

294
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:21,506
She told me all this stuff.

295
00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:22,899
Like really personal stuff,

296
00:11:22,986 --> 00:11:24,509
but it didn't feel creepy

297
00:11:24,596 --> 00:11:25,772
like your mom's
telling you stuff.

298
00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:26,990
It was more like

299
00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:28,122
we were equals.

300
00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:29,950
It was great.

301
00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:30,951
Good work.

302
00:11:31,038 --> 00:11:32,300
Did you get the car?

303
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:33,518
What?

304
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:35,085
Oh, yeah.

305
00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:36,478
You know,

306
00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:38,306
I think I'm going
to skip the party.

307
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:39,394
You're kidding.

308
00:11:39,481 --> 00:11:41,004
Yeah, I don't know, I just...

309
00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:43,441
I don't really feel like
going out.

310
00:11:43,528 --> 00:11:45,530
You know what?

311
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:49,099
I think I'm going to stay home
and start a journal.

312
00:11:52,886 --> 00:11:54,888
Stupid jet engine.

313
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,243
Hey!

314
00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:04,854
Why don't you learn
how to fly this stupid thing?!

315
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,824
Oh, sure, I feel lonely.

316
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:19,782
Sometimes even with my
family all around me,

317
00:12:19,869 --> 00:12:21,828
I feel like
there's this...

318
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:24,004
I don't know,
this gulf between us

319
00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:26,658
that I can't get across,
and maybe don't even want to.

320
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,269
Does that sound awful?

321
00:12:28,356 --> 00:12:30,053
No, no. I know exactly
what you're talking about.

322
00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,795
There's this deep chasm
of loneliness,

323
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:35,493
but the weird thing is, it's...
it's not all that horrible.

324
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:38,453
It's almost like this... this...

325
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:39,671
Sweet pain?

326
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,456
Oh, my God.

327
00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:43,675
I thought I was the only one
who felt that way.

328
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,677
Well, it's not something
I really talk about.

329
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,549
I can't believe
I'm even telling you.

330
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:49,290
Don't worry, Mom.
I... I understand.

331
00:12:49,377 --> 00:12:50,465
I really do.

332
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:52,032
Oh, look at the time.

333
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:53,163
Malcolm, we've gabbed
the whole morning away.

334
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:54,556
I got to get
dressed for work.

335
00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:56,253
Go ahead.
I'll finish the dishes.

336
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:58,516
I'm gonna take
you up on that.

337
00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:03,043
JESSICA:
That was genius.

338
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:05,567
Jessica?

339
00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:07,047
You were there the whole time?

340
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:09,571
Seriously, that was awesome.

341
00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:10,790
What are you going for?

342
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,182
What? Nothing.

343
00:13:12,269 --> 00:13:14,881
Malcolm, it's me.
What are you after?

344
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:16,578
I mean, you've got her
opening up to you.

345
00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:18,101
Forget about the car.

346
00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:19,233
With that level
of intimacy,

347
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,104
I'd shoot for a laptop.

348
00:13:21,191 --> 00:13:22,714
We were just talking
about things we felt.

349
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:26,109
Wow, Malcolm,
that's really...

350
00:13:26,196 --> 00:13:27,807
pathetic.

351
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:28,677
Shut up.

352
00:13:28,764 --> 00:13:30,200
Listen, Monday I need you

353
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:31,549
to get your mom
out of the house

354
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,203
for a couple of
hours after school.

355
00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:34,552
Take her to a chick
flick or something.

356
00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:36,685
-You should enjoy that.
-What for?

357
00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,034
My boyfriend's coming
over, and I'd like

358
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:39,209
to have the house
to ourselves,

359
00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:40,428
if you know what I mean.

360
00:13:40,515 --> 00:13:41,777
What?!

361
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,648
Oh, good, you do know
what I mean.

362
00:13:43,735 --> 00:13:45,825
I wasn't sure with
that whole chasm of
loneliness crap.

363
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,304
You can't hook up in my house.

364
00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:48,610
I've never hooked up
in my house.

365
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:51,221
Okay, Malcolm,
it's your decision.

366
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,310
Just a little worried
how your mom might react

367
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:54,746
when she finds out
that the only reason

368
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,053
you've been opening up
to her is to get her car.

369
00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:59,012
That's not even true anymore.

370
00:13:59,099 --> 00:14:01,014
Anyway, you'd look just as bad.

371
00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:03,320
Malcolm, my dad's in jail,
and I live on a couch.

372
00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,888
Looking bad isn't really
a big motivator for me.

373
00:14:06,976 --> 00:14:08,499
Now, you owe me.

374
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:09,805
You'd really do it,
wouldn't you?

375
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:13,200
Knowing me... yeah.

376
00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:16,029
Fine. But I can't believe
you're being like this.

377
00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:18,074
I thought you were helping me
because you were my friend.

378
00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:19,336
Yeah, Malcolm?

379
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:22,078
Save the girl talk
for your mom.

380
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:30,391
REESE:
"Day 23.

381
00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:32,001
"I'm out of food,

382
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:34,699
"but I've never felt so focused and alive.

383
00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:37,833
I see everything now
with crystal clarity that..."

384
00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:49,801
"Day 24.

385
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,499
"I must be getting close.

386
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:53,762
I can smell the docks."

387
00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:10,344
I know Mommy wanted
us to go to the park,

388
00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:11,867
but why go outside

389
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:13,477
where bad things
want to hurt Daddy

390
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:15,610
when we can have just as
much fun inside the house,

391
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:16,959
right, Jamie?

392
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:20,354
How about a nice
shaving cream beard, huh?

393
00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:23,096
I did one last week at
work, and everyone loved it.

394
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:30,973
No!

395
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:32,453
No! No! Get away!

396
00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:33,758
Get away!

397
00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:39,155
Don't worry, Jamie,
it's me he's after, not you.

398
00:15:39,242 --> 00:15:40,765
REESE :
Stop looking at me, Dewey.

399
00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:41,941
DEWEY:
I'm not looking at you.

400
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,116
REESE:
Don't touch me.

401
00:15:43,203 --> 00:15:44,508
DEWEY:
I'm not touching you.

402
00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:45,553
REESE:
You're practically touching me.

403
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:46,597
DEWEY:
Shut up.

404
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:48,295
REESE:
You shut up.

405
00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:49,905
DEWEY: Why don't you?
REESE: Why don't you make me?

406
00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:51,515
DEWEY: Why don't you make me?
REESE: Maybe I will.

407
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:54,301
He thinks he's on
his way to China,
and you've just

408
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,216
been torturing
him in that box?!

409
00:15:56,303 --> 00:15:57,565
Yeah.

410
00:15:57,652 --> 00:15:58,914
Can he breathe
in there?

411
00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:00,568
He's still making noises.

412
00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:02,526
And he's got food and water?

413
00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:03,527
Yeah.

414
00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:09,359
All right.

415
00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:15,975
Honestly, Hal, I haven't felt
this close to Malcolm

416
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:18,325
since he was four years old.

417
00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:22,807
Did I tell you he's taking me
to a movie tomorrow?

418
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:24,984
I can't believe it.

419
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:27,421
I mean, you put it out there,
but you don't know

420
00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:29,640
whether it'll ever come back
to you.

421
00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:31,816
And then, when it does,

422
00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:35,603
it's wonderful.

423
00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:38,867
It's worth all the crap
you have to put up with.

424
00:16:38,954 --> 00:16:43,132
Our boy is
growing up, Lois.

425
00:16:43,219 --> 00:16:45,656
Hmm. I'm very proud
of both of you.

426
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:48,007
Thanks, honey.

427
00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:51,445
Can you turn off
the smoke now?

428
00:16:51,532 --> 00:16:53,664
In a minute.

429
00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:55,492
How long do we
have the place?

430
00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:56,885
At least two hours.

431
00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,626
So, what do you
want to do?

432
00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:03,239
Jessica, I have
to talk to you.

433
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:04,501
Malcolm, what are you doing
here?

434
00:17:04,588 --> 00:17:06,025
Where's Lois?

435
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,461
Still at the movies.

436
00:17:07,548 --> 00:17:09,202
:
I told her everything.

437
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:10,420
I couldn't hold it back
from her.

438
00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:11,769
We were in the lobby,

439
00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:12,770
and I saw something
that reminded me

440
00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:13,989
of how much she really loves me.

441
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:15,382
This mom was
holding up her son

442
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:16,905
so he could get a drink
of water, and I thought,

443
00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:18,950
"What kind of Mom lets their kid
drink from a public

444
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,560
drinking fountain?"

445
00:17:20,647 --> 00:17:22,301
She would have yelled at me
about all the germs,

446
00:17:22,388 --> 00:17:23,651
and I thought about how much
she really cares about me,

447
00:17:23,738 --> 00:17:25,044
and I couldn't
hold it back.

448
00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:26,132
Malcolm, we'll talk
about this later.

449
00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:28,308
It was horrible.

450
00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:30,484
I tried to explain
that getting close to her

451
00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:32,747
started off
as a way to use her, but...

452
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:35,271
it turned into something real.

453
00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:37,621
But she didn't care.

454
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:39,058
She was just too hurt.

455
00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:41,277
She said she didn't want
to look at me anymore.

456
00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:43,236
And then she walked right out
of Autumn Encounter

457
00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:45,412
and straight
into Body Count III.

458
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:48,850
It's too bad, because Autumn
Encounterlooked really good.

459
00:17:50,025 --> 00:17:51,244
Can I make myself
a sandwich?

460
00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:53,072
Wait. Mike,
this won't take long.

461
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:55,117
:
My mom used to
make me sandwiches.

462
00:17:55,204 --> 00:17:57,206
Now she'll never make
me sandwiches again.

463
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:01,080
Malcolm, pull
yourself together!

464
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:02,385
This is kind of weird.

465
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:04,822
Wait. Wait, Mike. Mike?

466
00:18:12,308 --> 00:18:13,179
Hi.

467
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:14,528
Hi.

468
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,356
-I'm Mike, Jessica's friend.
-Dewey.

469
00:18:16,443 --> 00:18:17,748
Mind if I make myself
a sandwich?

470
00:18:17,835 --> 00:18:19,663
I don't care.

471
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,539
Wait, can you do me
a favor first?

472
00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:28,019
There's this crate in the garage
I can't get open.

473
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,325
You look really strong.

474
00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:30,935
Sure.

475
00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:41,990
Aha!
I bet you weren't
expecting this,Zhao!

476
00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:44,297
Now you're gonna experience a
good old American ass-whuppin'.

477
00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:46,516
Hey, quit it!

478
00:18:46,603 --> 00:18:48,562
I don't speak
Chinese, jackass.

479
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:52,566
All right.

480
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:10,714
You!

481
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:13,326
Okay, let's...

482
00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:15,284
stay calm.

483
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:18,157
Let's not do anything stupid.

484
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:22,596
Eat wind, honey sucker!

485
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,901
This... ends... now.

486
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:07,222
Is everything okay?

487
00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:11,531
Everything is just fine.

488
00:21:14,447 --> 00:21:18,146
Who's the idiot now?

489
00:21:55,401 --> 00:21:57,838
Captioned by Post Haste Digital