1 00:00:05,307 --> 00:00:06,975 Cece! 2 00:00:08,978 --> 00:00:10,979 Beep-beep. 3 00:00:13,516 --> 00:00:15,116 Beep-beep. 4 00:00:15,184 --> 00:00:16,818 I'm sorry. Excuse me. 5 00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:19,487 These traffic patterns are really... 6 00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:22,256 counterintuitive! 7 00:00:22,624 --> 00:00:24,192 Really... 8 00:00:24,259 --> 00:00:27,995 Catch-as-catch-can as far as footpaths go over here! 9 00:00:30,832 --> 00:00:31,865 Cece! 10 00:00:32,801 --> 00:00:33,767 I got your text. 11 00:00:33,835 --> 00:00:34,868 Are you ready to go home? 12 00:00:34,936 --> 00:00:36,503 Argh! Thank you for coming. 13 00:00:36,571 --> 00:00:38,871 Jess, he was making out with another girl. 14 00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:42,008 You... get away from here. 15 00:00:42,076 --> 00:00:43,610 Okay, who are you, Miss Pajama, okay? 16 00:00:43,678 --> 00:00:45,212 You're blocking my booth. Get out of here! 17 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,313 Don't talk to her like that, okay? 18 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,247 That is my best friend! 19 00:00:49,584 --> 00:00:50,383 Oh, Cece... 20 00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,718 You ripped my deep V! 21 00:00:52,785 --> 00:00:54,587 This is my favorite deep V! 22 00:00:54,654 --> 00:00:57,656 It's just a deeper V. 23 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,325 Thanks for picking me up, Jess. 24 00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,694 I really felt that Gavin was different. 25 00:01:01,761 --> 00:01:04,096 Didn't you feel like he was different? 26 00:01:04,163 --> 00:01:05,098 Yeah. 27 00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:07,799 I mean, he seemed like a really nice... 28 00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:10,067 European DJ with a face tattoo. 29 00:01:10,068 --> 00:01:11,302 Whoo! 30 00:01:11,370 --> 00:01:12,303 Hey, guys. 31 00:01:12,371 --> 00:01:14,472 I think... Jess, I think these guys are into you. 32 00:01:14,540 --> 00:01:16,407 We should, we should just go back, right? 33 00:01:16,475 --> 00:01:17,709 We should totally head back. 34 00:01:17,777 --> 00:01:19,811 Where am I taking you? 35 00:01:19,879 --> 00:01:21,913 Well, can't go home 36 00:01:21,981 --> 00:01:23,781 because Gavin's, like, staying at my place. 37 00:01:23,849 --> 00:01:24,950 You've known him for three weeks. 38 00:01:25,017 --> 00:01:28,119 Can I just crash with you for a couple days? Please? 39 00:01:28,186 --> 00:01:30,087 I don't know. It's Friday night. 40 00:01:30,155 --> 00:01:32,857 The guys probably have big plans. 41 00:01:41,766 --> 00:01:43,299 Friday night, gentlemen. 42 00:01:47,538 --> 00:01:48,805 - What happened to you? - What? 43 00:01:48,873 --> 00:01:50,440 You didn't used to be like this, Schmidt. 44 00:01:50,508 --> 00:01:51,307 What are you talking about? 45 00:01:51,375 --> 00:01:52,342 You've gotten so much worse. 46 00:01:52,409 --> 00:01:53,643 It's on and poppin'! 47 00:01:53,711 --> 00:01:54,945 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ Sync by Alice | Corrections by gloriabg 48 00:01:54,946 --> 00:01:56,244 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ Sync by Alice | Corrections by gloriabg 49 00:01:56,245 --> 00:01:58,713 ♪ Who's that girl? Who's that girl? ♪ www.addic7ed.com 50 00:01:58,714 --> 00:01:59,547 ♪ It's Jess. ♪ www.addic7ed.com 51 00:02:00,684 --> 00:02:02,217 Yes. I told you I'd come through. 52 00:02:02,285 --> 00:02:04,119 Okay, Benjamin just invited us to a very cool party. 53 00:02:04,187 --> 00:02:06,154 I just got off three back-to-back shifts at the bar. 54 00:02:06,222 --> 00:02:07,422 I just want to sit here 55 00:02:07,491 --> 00:02:09,257 all weekend in silence playing this game, 56 00:02:09,325 --> 00:02:11,860 then I want to go in my room and do weird stuff on my computer. 57 00:02:11,927 --> 00:02:13,160 Are you even wearing underwear? 58 00:02:13,228 --> 00:02:14,529 What is between you and that chair? 59 00:02:15,097 --> 00:02:16,297 Just a little bit of sunshine. 60 00:02:16,365 --> 00:02:18,265 All right, take off that kimono, please. 61 00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:20,101 It's my leisure wear, Winston. 62 00:02:20,168 --> 00:02:22,136 Look, I worked 80 hours this week. 63 00:02:22,204 --> 00:02:24,105 I just want to come home, put on my 'mono 64 00:02:24,172 --> 00:02:25,773 and just hang loose, man. 65 00:02:25,841 --> 00:02:27,375 Okay? If you had a job, you'd understand. 66 00:02:29,511 --> 00:02:30,410 R-Really? 67 00:02:30,478 --> 00:02:32,379 Wow! It just got real in here. 68 00:02:32,446 --> 00:02:34,080 Okay, you're not gonna take the kimono off? 69 00:02:34,148 --> 00:02:35,949 Fine. Then I'm not wearing any pants. 70 00:02:36,017 --> 00:02:37,985 Boom! Bam! 71 00:02:38,052 --> 00:02:39,520 Mm-hmm. Everybody want to just walk around 72 00:02:39,587 --> 00:02:41,121 this house wearing all kinds of stupid stuff, 73 00:02:41,688 --> 00:02:43,390 then guess what I'm gonna do, Schmidt. 74 00:02:43,457 --> 00:02:46,291 I'm wearing a napkin on my face. 75 00:02:46,359 --> 00:02:48,360 Bam! How you like that? 76 00:02:48,428 --> 00:02:49,562 That doesn't even make any sense, Winston. 77 00:02:49,630 --> 00:02:51,363 It makes perfect sense. 78 00:02:51,431 --> 00:02:52,965 Totally different than me wearing my kimono. 79 00:02:53,033 --> 00:02:54,534 You are laughing in the face of 80 00:02:54,601 --> 00:02:56,135 thousands of years of samurai culture, 81 00:02:56,202 --> 00:02:57,703 and it's an affront, Winston, it's an affront. 82 00:02:57,771 --> 00:02:59,204 Look at me now, huh? This is the vibe 83 00:02:59,272 --> 00:03:01,139 we have in the house now because of you. 84 00:03:01,206 --> 00:03:02,241 You want to walk around here looking silly. 85 00:03:02,242 --> 00:03:04,509 This is handcrafted! In China. 86 00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:10,381 Schmidt, I think you should take the kimono off. 87 00:03:13,618 --> 00:03:17,120 Um, Cece, can you not do your usual thing? 88 00:03:17,188 --> 00:03:18,221 These are really good guys. 89 00:03:18,289 --> 00:03:19,489 Best behavior. 90 00:03:20,058 --> 00:03:20,791 Sure. 91 00:03:20,859 --> 00:03:22,626 Hey, guys, I brought... 92 00:03:22,694 --> 00:03:24,061 You brought this on yourself! 93 00:03:25,229 --> 00:03:28,165 What you doing? 94 00:03:28,232 --> 00:03:29,667 Oh, you know, we're just chillin'. 95 00:03:29,734 --> 00:03:31,068 Just chillin'. 96 00:03:31,135 --> 00:03:32,068 Just doing this. 97 00:03:32,135 --> 00:03:33,436 You know, Friday night. 98 00:03:33,503 --> 00:03:35,104 I'm gonna use the ladies'. 99 00:03:35,172 --> 00:03:36,105 What's up, Cecelia? 100 00:03:36,673 --> 00:03:37,574 Where's the tequila? 101 00:03:39,743 --> 00:03:42,679 Guys. 102 00:03:42,746 --> 00:03:44,380 Okay. 103 00:03:44,448 --> 00:03:46,382 I would normally never bring her here, 104 00:03:46,450 --> 00:03:48,283 but Cece's really vulnerable right now, 105 00:03:48,350 --> 00:03:50,953 and when she's drunk, she has no boundaries. 106 00:03:51,020 --> 00:03:53,288 So she's really grabby, really physical, 107 00:03:53,355 --> 00:03:54,990 she's really loose with her body. 108 00:03:55,058 --> 00:03:58,560 So I just want to apologize in advance for anything 109 00:03:58,628 --> 00:04:00,228 that she might do. 110 00:04:00,296 --> 00:04:02,030 - That's good to know. - Yeah, thanks for telling us. 111 00:04:02,098 --> 00:04:03,164 Thank you, guys. 112 00:04:03,732 --> 00:04:04,865 You're the best. 113 00:04:13,175 --> 00:04:15,110 This is the opposite of being alone! 114 00:04:16,479 --> 00:04:18,980 This is the opposite of what I wanted this weekend. 115 00:04:19,547 --> 00:04:22,116 Wow, how'd this happen? 116 00:04:22,183 --> 00:04:23,818 Okay, I'm not a part of this, Schmidt. 117 00:04:23,885 --> 00:04:25,352 I'm not a part of this. 118 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:26,988 Hi, Cece. 119 00:04:27,055 --> 00:04:29,356 I'm gonna make you a bed on the couch, okay? 120 00:04:29,424 --> 00:04:32,059 You have to stop dancing, okay, so you can go to sleep. 121 00:04:32,127 --> 00:04:34,829 You know, Cece, I think you should dance if you want to. 122 00:04:34,896 --> 00:04:36,196 Why are you talking like that? 123 00:04:36,264 --> 00:04:37,964 Like what? I'm just hanging out. 124 00:04:38,032 --> 00:04:39,699 - You get up. - Really? Him? 125 00:04:39,767 --> 00:04:41,267 But I'm doing this. 126 00:04:43,504 --> 00:04:44,838 - Come on, get up! - No, I don't dance. 127 00:04:44,905 --> 00:04:46,039 I'm from the town in Footloose. 128 00:04:46,107 --> 00:04:47,507 He doesn't want to dance, Cece. 129 00:04:47,574 --> 00:04:48,808 I don't wanna dance. I'm really good. 130 00:04:48,876 --> 00:04:50,810 Schmidt dances... Whoa! What the... 131 00:04:50,878 --> 00:04:54,113 All right, you know what, I'm gonna go to bed. Good night. 132 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,148 That's really not great under here. 133 00:04:56,215 --> 00:04:57,016 You have to love hair. 134 00:04:58,583 --> 00:04:59,918 I think it's time for bed. 135 00:04:59,986 --> 00:05:01,053 You can use my bed; I'll sleep on the couch. 136 00:05:01,121 --> 00:05:02,587 Over here. Over here, Cece. 137 00:05:02,656 --> 00:05:03,689 Oh. 138 00:05:03,757 --> 00:05:05,490 Over here. Over here. 139 00:05:05,558 --> 00:05:07,259 Are you sheepdogging her? 140 00:05:07,326 --> 00:05:08,293 Over here, over here. 141 00:05:08,361 --> 00:05:09,226 Over here, over here. 142 00:05:09,294 --> 00:05:10,128 Not here. Here we go. 143 00:05:12,665 --> 00:05:15,033 Good night, Cece. 144 00:05:16,735 --> 00:05:18,069 Yes! Yes. 145 00:05:18,137 --> 00:05:19,971 She is sleeping on my sheets right now. 146 00:05:20,039 --> 00:05:21,773 Not yours, bro. Mine. 147 00:05:23,441 --> 00:05:24,441 Parkour! 148 00:05:28,379 --> 00:05:29,445 You know what? I think I might 149 00:05:29,513 --> 00:05:30,380 actually have a chance with her. 150 00:05:31,647 --> 00:05:32,382 I just have to be 151 00:05:32,449 --> 00:05:33,583 cooler than that guy. 152 00:05:33,651 --> 00:05:35,052 Parkour! 153 00:05:35,119 --> 00:05:37,087 A wise man once foretold of a magical night 154 00:05:37,155 --> 00:05:38,121 where I would engage in nonsexual foreplay 155 00:05:38,189 --> 00:05:39,756 with a model, my friends. 156 00:05:39,824 --> 00:05:41,256 And tonight... 157 00:05:41,324 --> 00:05:42,825 - Don't say... - ...is that night. 158 00:05:42,893 --> 00:05:44,293 No, not a chance. Never gonna happen. 159 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:45,661 You're not a closer. 160 00:05:45,729 --> 00:05:46,996 Oh, I'm a closer. I'm gonna close 161 00:05:47,064 --> 00:05:48,698 this conversation right now, my brother. 162 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,632 Watch this. Boom, bam, closed. 163 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:52,401 Parkour! 164 00:05:52,468 --> 00:05:54,103 Short track speed skating. 165 00:05:54,671 --> 00:05:56,038 Apolo Ohno. 166 00:06:00,409 --> 00:06:01,943 Well, at least this tires him out, right? 167 00:06:02,011 --> 00:06:02,877 Yeah. 168 00:06:06,555 --> 00:06:08,121 Look, she's great. You're gonna love her. 169 00:06:08,489 --> 00:06:09,289 Do you want some eggs? 170 00:06:09,357 --> 00:06:10,557 No, I've got my own breakfast. 171 00:06:10,624 --> 00:06:11,892 I don't need you to... 172 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:12,826 - What? - I don't know. 173 00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:13,793 Take care of me. 174 00:06:14,862 --> 00:06:16,296 Just stop being so nice. 175 00:06:16,364 --> 00:06:18,097 Your mother's being so nice. 176 00:06:19,665 --> 00:06:20,900 Slam on my mother. 177 00:06:20,968 --> 00:06:21,934 Your mother's gonna 178 00:06:22,002 --> 00:06:22,902 slam on your mother. 179 00:06:29,843 --> 00:06:31,610 And 4,000. 180 00:06:31,678 --> 00:06:33,011 Yeah. 181 00:06:33,579 --> 00:06:35,013 Oh, my God. 182 00:06:35,081 --> 00:06:36,581 Wilkommen. 183 00:06:37,148 --> 00:06:38,250 You're covered in oil? 184 00:06:38,317 --> 00:06:39,484 What, oil? No. 185 00:06:39,551 --> 00:06:42,354 This is just, uh... 186 00:06:43,921 --> 00:06:45,190 You okay? 187 00:06:45,658 --> 00:06:46,657 Schmidt. 188 00:06:47,025 --> 00:06:48,793 Hey, are you okay? 189 00:06:48,861 --> 00:06:50,661 Whoa. Whoa. 190 00:06:50,729 --> 00:06:52,162 I just blacked out for a second. 191 00:06:52,230 --> 00:06:53,731 Anything weird happen? 192 00:06:53,799 --> 00:06:56,300 Okay, I need some water, so can you move? 193 00:06:56,368 --> 00:06:57,769 Yeah, that's not gonna happen, honey. 194 00:06:57,836 --> 00:06:59,670 Just, you know, slide me like a curtain, okay? 195 00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:04,174 There you go. I'm good. I'm good. 196 00:07:04,242 --> 00:07:05,376 Sweet. 197 00:07:05,443 --> 00:07:07,778 Hey, can you get me a coff... 198 00:07:20,024 --> 00:07:21,057 What's going on, guys? I-- 199 00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:24,159 Hey. Oh, you're all here. 200 00:07:24,227 --> 00:07:25,561 Um, does the water gets any hotter than this? 201 00:07:25,629 --> 00:07:27,996 Uh, do you want me... 202 00:07:28,064 --> 00:07:30,966 Uh I mean, I could give you, if... 203 00:07:31,067 --> 00:07:32,100 I could... I'm good at fixing 204 00:07:32,168 --> 00:07:33,869 I can fix it, also. 205 00:07:33,937 --> 00:07:35,071 Actually, you know what, 206 00:07:35,139 --> 00:07:36,205 I'll just figure it out myself. 207 00:07:36,273 --> 00:07:37,640 But do you guys have any actual soap? 208 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,075 Because all I can find in here is body gelato. 209 00:07:40,076 --> 00:07:41,375 - That would be Schmidt's-- - Schmidt's gelato. 210 00:07:41,376 --> 00:07:42,310 That gelato is mine. 211 00:07:42,311 --> 00:07:43,945 If you could just... Don't use it all. 212 00:07:43,979 --> 00:07:45,246 - I'll just not touch it. - Okay. 213 00:07:45,314 --> 00:07:47,582 Hey. Why are you guys all in here? 214 00:07:47,683 --> 00:07:48,616 I'm brushing my teeth. 215 00:07:48,717 --> 00:07:50,151 D-Doing my thing. 216 00:07:50,218 --> 00:07:51,853 She hogging the shower? Cece come on. Hurry up. 217 00:07:51,921 --> 00:07:52,821 Sorry, j just... I can't find 218 00:07:52,888 --> 00:07:54,688 any bigger towels for some reason. 219 00:07:59,427 --> 00:08:00,928 You have a really beautiful body, Cece. 220 00:08:00,962 --> 00:08:02,329 I really appreciate that about you. 221 00:08:02,396 --> 00:08:03,630 Okay, come on. 222 00:08:03,698 --> 00:08:05,298 - I did you breakfast. - You did? 223 00:08:05,366 --> 00:08:06,333 Yeah. 224 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,668 Sorry. I just... 225 00:08:12,372 --> 00:08:13,673 Disappointed with all of you. 226 00:08:13,740 --> 00:08:15,274 - Especially you. - It was a bad moment. 227 00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:16,909 I thought you were better than that. 228 00:08:16,977 --> 00:08:19,244 I know. I am sometimes. 229 00:08:19,312 --> 00:08:20,713 Did you see that cleavage? 230 00:08:20,781 --> 00:08:22,648 I just want to get my arm stuck down there. 231 00:08:22,716 --> 00:08:24,316 127 Hours style. 232 00:08:24,384 --> 00:08:26,651 And then, and then... 233 00:08:26,719 --> 00:08:28,252 Just cut it for days. I don't care. 234 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,788 I'll cut through the bone, the nerve. 235 00:08:30,890 --> 00:08:32,090 Schmidt! 236 00:08:32,157 --> 00:08:33,391 You weren't upset 'cause 237 00:08:33,459 --> 00:08:34,392 I was dancing with Nick, right? 238 00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:35,927 No, of course not. 239 00:08:35,995 --> 00:08:37,762 'Cause I think he's really into you. 240 00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:39,230 Nick?! No. 241 00:08:39,798 --> 00:08:40,866 - No! - Come on, Jess. 242 00:08:40,933 --> 00:08:42,366 This is classic Eduardo. 243 00:08:44,836 --> 00:08:46,637 You want this to go to Cece, right? 244 00:08:46,671 --> 00:08:47,771 "Jess." 245 00:08:47,839 --> 00:08:49,607 Okay, I'll give it to Cece. 246 00:08:49,674 --> 00:08:52,042 No. Jess! 247 00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:53,410 You don't want me to give it to Cece? 248 00:08:53,478 --> 00:08:55,846 Sí, sí... uh, for you. 249 00:08:55,914 --> 00:08:57,047 For me? 250 00:08:57,315 --> 00:08:59,348 To give to Cece. 251 00:09:00,885 --> 00:09:01,784 We're just friends. 252 00:09:01,852 --> 00:09:03,987 You can't be friends with these guys. 253 00:09:04,054 --> 00:09:05,455 You don't think that every single one of them 254 00:09:05,523 --> 00:09:06,689 has thought about sleeping with you? 255 00:09:06,757 --> 00:09:08,025 No, you just think everyone wants 256 00:09:08,092 --> 00:09:09,559 to sleep with everyone all the time. 257 00:09:09,627 --> 00:09:11,261 They do. That's why I think that. 258 00:09:11,329 --> 00:09:12,996 Don't you hear how he says your name? 259 00:09:13,463 --> 00:09:14,296 "Jess." 260 00:09:14,364 --> 00:09:15,697 He's from Chicago. 261 00:09:15,765 --> 00:09:17,766 That's how people from Chicago say "Jess." 262 00:09:17,834 --> 00:09:19,735 Like "Bears" and "milk" 263 00:09:19,802 --> 00:09:21,403 and "Let's go visit the Sears Tower." 264 00:09:23,471 --> 00:09:24,305 Hey, Jess. 265 00:09:24,373 --> 00:09:25,206 I'm going to the drugstore. 266 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:26,307 - Need anything? - Yes. 267 00:09:26,375 --> 00:09:27,643 Jess, you should go with him, 268 00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:30,477 'cause then you can get that thing that you really need. 269 00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:32,514 Oh, I wonder what that is. 270 00:09:32,581 --> 00:09:34,715 She'll be right out. 271 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,851 Yeah, just... 272 00:09:36,919 --> 00:09:39,086 No. No! 273 00:09:39,154 --> 00:09:41,321 No, you are not coming in here and ruining all this. 274 00:09:41,389 --> 00:09:42,356 I'm happy, 275 00:09:42,424 --> 00:09:43,491 I like these guys, and I think 276 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:45,492 they're actually starting to like me, too. 277 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,126 Who did you tell me was your perfect man? 278 00:09:47,194 --> 00:09:48,895 Walter Matthau in Grumpy Old Men. 279 00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,764 And I could be girl Jack Lemmon. 280 00:09:50,831 --> 00:09:51,665 He's a total Matthau! 281 00:09:51,732 --> 00:09:53,633 I'm telling you, he gets you. 282 00:09:53,701 --> 00:09:54,535 And did you see his feet? 283 00:09:54,602 --> 00:09:56,369 A guy's feet point at what they want. 284 00:09:56,437 --> 00:09:57,304 His feet were pointing right at you. 285 00:09:57,372 --> 00:09:58,638 Why wouldn't his feet point at me? 286 00:09:58,706 --> 00:10:00,040 Otherwise, he's standing like a duck. 287 00:10:00,108 --> 00:10:01,607 Just come on. Go. Get out there. 288 00:10:01,675 --> 00:10:02,708 Hey, you ready? 289 00:10:02,776 --> 00:10:03,676 Come on! 290 00:10:03,743 --> 00:10:05,044 Be there in a sec, bro! 291 00:10:05,312 --> 00:10:06,612 You just call me "bro"? 292 00:10:08,514 --> 00:10:09,615 Yeah. 293 00:10:09,683 --> 00:10:12,250 Well, how long is she staying? 294 00:10:12,318 --> 00:10:14,119 Oh, not long. 295 00:10:14,187 --> 00:10:16,154 I know she can be tough to deal with. 296 00:10:16,222 --> 00:10:17,489 Sometimes she just calls me up 297 00:10:17,557 --> 00:10:19,190 and she's like, "Bitch, I love you." 298 00:10:19,257 --> 00:10:20,558 And then she just hangs up. 299 00:10:20,626 --> 00:10:21,693 No other information. 300 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:22,860 Weird. 301 00:10:25,530 --> 00:10:27,699 But I don't know, I kind of like it when she calls me "bitch." 302 00:10:27,766 --> 00:10:29,867 It makes me feel like Janis Joplin. 303 00:10:29,935 --> 00:10:32,369 Fine, but does she have to stay with us? 304 00:10:34,138 --> 00:10:35,271 What? I'm sorry. 305 00:10:35,339 --> 00:10:36,840 What-What did you say? 306 00:10:36,908 --> 00:10:38,675 I'm saying stop trying to take care of everyone. 307 00:10:39,611 --> 00:10:40,978 - Oh, my God. - What? 308 00:10:41,045 --> 00:10:42,746 What? - What! Nothing. What? 309 00:10:42,814 --> 00:10:45,082 What? 310 00:10:45,149 --> 00:10:46,349 What are you doing? 311 00:10:49,587 --> 00:10:50,353 I know she's your best friend, 312 00:10:50,421 --> 00:10:51,988 but I-I didn't mean to insult you. 313 00:10:52,055 --> 00:10:53,956 Just, you don't have to take care of her... 314 00:10:54,024 --> 00:10:55,625 Okay. 315 00:10:56,492 --> 00:10:57,360 Yes. 316 00:10:57,428 --> 00:10:58,894 - What are you doing? - What are you doing? 317 00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:00,062 I'm sorry, I'm just checking... 318 00:11:00,131 --> 00:11:01,097 I just want to make sure... 319 00:11:01,165 --> 00:11:02,265 If I insulted you, I'm sorry. 320 00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:03,500 But what are you doing right now? 321 00:11:03,567 --> 00:11:04,567 Everything's in its place. 322 00:11:04,635 --> 00:11:06,067 - What does that mean? - Okay. 323 00:11:06,136 --> 00:11:07,836 I'm just walking like a friend. 324 00:11:07,903 --> 00:11:09,704 Okay, you know what, forget this. 325 00:11:09,772 --> 00:11:11,473 Let's get out of here. Last on the list... 326 00:11:11,541 --> 00:11:12,474 toilet paper. 327 00:11:12,542 --> 00:11:14,809 Um, I don't use it. 328 00:11:15,877 --> 00:11:17,045 You don't use toilet paper? 329 00:11:19,449 --> 00:11:22,182 I mean... That's not what I meant. 330 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:24,117 That's what your mother meant. 331 00:11:24,185 --> 00:11:25,586 What, did my mother call? What did she say? 332 00:11:25,654 --> 00:11:27,688 No, Jess, I was... Jess, 333 00:11:28,256 --> 00:11:29,657 I was joking. 334 00:11:34,663 --> 00:11:36,130 Look at her. 335 00:11:37,198 --> 00:11:38,865 Go for it, man. You know, go do your thing. 336 00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:41,434 I don't like the roof, man. There's a cat up here. 337 00:11:41,502 --> 00:11:43,436 It's crazy. It was raised by birds. 338 00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,205 You mean to tell me you're going to let a cat 339 00:11:45,273 --> 00:11:47,641 - stop you from all that? - It's a bird-cat, man. 340 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,008 It's very dangerous. Look it up. Double rabies. 341 00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:51,110 Right. You can't close. 342 00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:57,449 You just said the magic words, son. 343 00:11:58,017 --> 00:11:59,384 Baby, baby, don't cry. 344 00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:00,886 Look, I get it. 345 00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:03,189 I was the best lover you ever had. 346 00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:07,325 Yeah. A 90-minute session's pretty standard for me. 347 00:12:10,295 --> 00:12:11,529 It was god what? 348 00:12:12,097 --> 00:12:13,464 Oh, it was godlike. 349 00:12:14,532 --> 00:12:15,765 That's very sweet of you to say. 350 00:12:18,803 --> 00:12:20,103 My bad. 351 00:12:20,438 --> 00:12:21,771 Pocket dialed you. 352 00:12:21,839 --> 00:12:24,642 I got dropped calls, then Winston calls. It's crazy. 353 00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:27,777 Uh, the roof, you know what I mean? 354 00:12:30,247 --> 00:12:31,614 Hey, look, if he's ever bothering you... 355 00:12:31,682 --> 00:12:33,550 - You both are. - Cool, that's cool. 356 00:12:40,156 --> 00:12:41,290 Okay, what's going on with you, Jess? 357 00:12:41,358 --> 00:12:43,058 - Why do you have to do that? - Do what? 358 00:12:43,126 --> 00:12:45,060 Why do you have to say my name like that? "Jess." 359 00:12:45,128 --> 00:12:47,930 And why do you have to wear old man clothes all the time? 360 00:12:47,997 --> 00:12:50,799 I don't wear old man clothes. You don't like the way I dress? 361 00:12:50,867 --> 00:12:51,567 No, I just... 362 00:12:51,635 --> 00:12:53,035 Did I do something to you? 363 00:12:53,103 --> 00:12:55,338 No, I just need air. 364 00:12:56,205 --> 00:12:57,039 - Rose for the lady? - No. 365 00:12:57,107 --> 00:12:59,507 Okay, I'll buy you one. Or two... they come as two? - No, no. 366 00:12:59,508 --> 00:13:01,409 I'll buy two. - No, no. Great. Thank you. 367 00:13:01,477 --> 00:13:02,744 Wait, what do you mean no? Here, take some roses. 368 00:13:02,811 --> 00:13:04,646 Want 'em? It's two dollars, it's not a big deal. 369 00:13:04,714 --> 00:13:06,014 - I want them to go, no. - They're nice roses... 370 00:13:06,015 --> 00:13:08,216 Hey, what are you doing?! Where are you going? 371 00:13:08,784 --> 00:13:09,817 Jess, it was a joke. 372 00:13:09,885 --> 00:13:13,187 What are you doing? Get back in the car. 373 00:13:13,255 --> 00:13:15,088 Where are you going? 374 00:13:20,093 --> 00:13:21,494 That's not the way home. 375 00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:27,989 Just working on Saturday. 376 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,257 Pulling in them ducats. It's crazy. 377 00:13:30,325 --> 00:13:32,060 It's like golden handcuffs, you know what I mean? 378 00:13:32,127 --> 00:13:33,494 It's like, on one hand 379 00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,329 I'm killing myself, and on the other hand, 380 00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:36,964 I'm making all this baller dough. 381 00:13:37,032 --> 00:13:38,399 Ow! 382 00:13:39,266 --> 00:13:40,301 Sunburn. 383 00:13:41,268 --> 00:13:42,869 I told you to take that oil off. 384 00:13:42,937 --> 00:13:44,370 It's cool, man. It's just a little color. 385 00:13:44,438 --> 00:13:47,841 In a couple days I'll be brown just like you, Cece. 386 00:13:48,409 --> 00:13:49,910 Because... because your culture is... 387 00:13:49,977 --> 00:13:50,911 What is my culture? 388 00:13:50,978 --> 00:13:54,581 It's, um... you're... Fff... 389 00:13:54,648 --> 00:13:57,417 Um... Jjj... Jaflan... 390 00:13:57,984 --> 00:13:59,284 Jafanese? 391 00:13:59,352 --> 00:14:01,253 Uh, Sa-Saudi... 392 00:14:01,321 --> 00:14:02,121 Saudiboo... 393 00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:03,655 Um... 394 00:14:05,124 --> 00:14:06,025 Monga... 395 00:14:06,093 --> 00:14:07,793 My parents were born in India. 396 00:14:07,861 --> 00:14:09,294 India... totally. Love India. 397 00:14:09,362 --> 00:14:10,830 He really does. 398 00:14:10,897 --> 00:14:12,765 Hey, Schmidt, why don't you tell her about 399 00:14:12,833 --> 00:14:14,599 all the things you love about India. 400 00:14:17,036 --> 00:14:20,138 Uh, sure. I love, you know, uh, I love Slumdog. 401 00:14:20,206 --> 00:14:22,207 I love naan, 402 00:14:22,274 --> 00:14:24,075 uh, pepper, Ben Kingsley, 403 00:14:24,143 --> 00:14:25,810 the stories of Rudyard Kipling. 404 00:14:25,878 --> 00:14:28,113 I have respect for cows, of course. 405 00:14:28,180 --> 00:14:32,049 I love, uh, the Taj Mahal, Deepak Chopra, 406 00:14:32,117 --> 00:14:34,118 anyone named Patel. 407 00:14:34,185 --> 00:14:36,086 I love monsoons. 408 00:14:36,154 --> 00:14:38,021 I love... I love cobras and baskets, 409 00:14:38,089 --> 00:14:40,124 Naveen Andrews. 410 00:14:40,191 --> 00:14:43,627 I love mango chutney, uh, really, any type of chutney. 411 00:14:43,694 --> 00:14:45,129 - Teepees... - Hey, Schmidt, take a lap. Refresh. 412 00:14:45,196 --> 00:14:46,796 Yep. 413 00:14:50,165 --> 00:14:51,099 - That was pretty good. - I know. 414 00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:52,201 You're working a little too hard, though. 415 00:14:52,269 --> 00:14:53,836 Watch this. Schmidt! 416 00:14:53,903 --> 00:14:55,938 - Yo. - Go up to the roof. 417 00:14:56,506 --> 00:14:58,040 Yeah, I'm going to go up to the roof. 418 00:14:58,108 --> 00:15:01,110 - I'll be there in ten minutes. - Cool. See you in, like, ten. 419 00:15:01,678 --> 00:15:03,278 - That was absolutely... - Make me a sandwich. 420 00:15:03,345 --> 00:15:04,412 Sandwich. 421 00:15:06,715 --> 00:15:09,150 I walked home. 422 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,153 I got out of the car and I walked home. 423 00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:12,620 Why, what happened? 424 00:15:12,688 --> 00:15:15,590 His feet were pointed directly at me the whole time. 425 00:15:15,658 --> 00:15:17,392 Did I do this? Am I dressing 426 00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:20,127 too provocatively? Do I need to get thicker pajamas? 427 00:15:20,195 --> 00:15:22,196 Maybe it's my posture. I have really sexy posture. 428 00:15:22,264 --> 00:15:23,730 Don't worry about it. 429 00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:25,432 I will talk to him for you. 430 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,401 No, you won't. That would be the worst, 431 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:28,402 most life-ruining thing you could possibly... 432 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,304 - Hi, Nick. - Seriously, Jess, 433 00:15:30,371 --> 00:15:32,472 what the hell happened? I've been driving around 434 00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:34,107 for the last hour looking for you. 435 00:15:34,175 --> 00:15:36,375 Everything is okay, and we were hoping to get 436 00:15:36,443 --> 00:15:38,144 - everything out... - on the table. 437 00:15:38,212 --> 00:15:40,246 The table which is not a table, it doesn't exist. 438 00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:41,547 Don't worry about the table. 439 00:15:41,615 --> 00:15:43,116 We were in the middle of traffic 440 00:15:43,184 --> 00:15:44,684 and you just got out and ran away. 441 00:15:44,751 --> 00:15:46,052 I was hot. 442 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,787 You were so hot that you 443 00:15:47,855 --> 00:15:50,522 had to jump out of my car and run? 444 00:15:50,589 --> 00:15:51,690 Why are you standing like that? 445 00:15:51,757 --> 00:15:53,158 This is how I stand. 446 00:15:53,226 --> 00:15:54,259 I've never seen you stand like that. 447 00:15:54,327 --> 00:15:56,061 I was really worried 448 00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:57,562 something had happened to you, okay? 449 00:15:57,630 --> 00:15:59,564 And you can't just walk around this neighborhood 450 00:15:59,632 --> 00:16:03,368 with bags full of toilet paper, that you don't even use. 451 00:16:03,436 --> 00:16:04,503 What? 452 00:16:04,536 --> 00:16:06,503 I told him I don't use toilet paper. 453 00:16:07,671 --> 00:16:09,606 Okay, do you hear what he is saying to you? 454 00:16:09,674 --> 00:16:10,773 Yes, I hear what he's saying-- 455 00:16:10,774 --> 00:16:12,776 He's trying to tell you he cares about you. 456 00:16:12,845 --> 00:16:13,845 No, he doesn't care about me. 457 00:16:13,846 --> 00:16:15,045 So I'm going to make this happen for you. 458 00:16:15,046 --> 00:16:16,814 - He cares about me as a friend. - This is so on, Jess. 459 00:16:16,882 --> 00:16:18,850 - No, it is not. - No, on it is not. 460 00:16:18,917 --> 00:16:20,751 - I'm trying to help you... - No. 461 00:16:20,819 --> 00:16:22,552 - No. - Okay, my face is my job. 462 00:16:22,619 --> 00:16:24,287 My face is my job. 463 00:16:24,355 --> 00:16:25,388 Okay... 464 00:16:27,191 --> 00:16:29,592 No! No! 465 00:16:29,660 --> 00:16:31,461 - My earring. - Okay. 466 00:16:31,528 --> 00:16:32,695 It is stuck in your hair. 467 00:16:32,763 --> 00:16:35,232 - Can you get it out? - No. 468 00:16:35,799 --> 00:16:37,300 Okay, we'll do it on the floor. We can do it on the floor. - Ow... 469 00:16:37,368 --> 00:16:38,901 We're going to get it on the floor, don't worry. Okay. 470 00:16:39,002 --> 00:16:40,970 - Ow. - It'll be okay. All right, here we go. 471 00:16:41,037 --> 00:16:42,605 - What is wrong with you? - I'm trying to help you. 472 00:16:42,606 --> 00:16:43,605 No, what is wrong with you? 473 00:16:43,673 --> 00:16:44,806 No. I don't need your help. 474 00:16:44,875 --> 00:16:46,342 You don't know... Nick and I are friends. 475 00:16:46,409 --> 00:16:48,944 You don't know, 'cause you don't have guy friends at all. 476 00:16:49,012 --> 00:16:50,712 You just hang out with jerks like Gavin. 477 00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:53,082 Oh, I'm sorry... DJ Diabeat It. 478 00:16:53,149 --> 00:16:56,117 - He has diabetes. - Oh, he does? Boo-hoo. 479 00:16:56,685 --> 00:16:59,320 I'm sorry. Is it really bad? I feel really bad. 480 00:16:59,388 --> 00:17:01,155 He's fine. He takes medication. 481 00:17:01,223 --> 00:17:03,391 Why do you just come in and you take over? 482 00:17:04,158 --> 00:17:06,094 It's like you're playing mind games with people. 483 00:17:06,161 --> 00:17:09,430 Don't put this on me, Jess. Ok, I'm trying to help you. You never make a move... 484 00:17:09,498 --> 00:17:10,865 Well, I don't need your help. 485 00:17:10,932 --> 00:17:13,500 I like moving slow. I like being weird and taking my time. 486 00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:14,902 I'm not like you. 487 00:17:14,969 --> 00:17:16,569 I don't just jump in the potato sack 488 00:17:16,637 --> 00:17:19,873 with the first potato that I meet with diabetes. 489 00:17:19,941 --> 00:17:22,910 - Okay, what did you just say? - You heard me, bitch. 490 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:29,115 Oh... 491 00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:30,749 - What is that? - Oh, no. 492 00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:32,085 - What, what did you do? - Oh, no, no, no, no. 493 00:17:32,086 --> 00:17:33,385 What did you do? 494 00:17:46,801 --> 00:17:49,703 Hey, Schmidt. How you doing? 495 00:17:49,771 --> 00:17:52,806 Can I sit with you on your cooler here? 496 00:17:52,874 --> 00:17:54,808 Yeah. Just chillin', hanging with the cat. 497 00:17:54,876 --> 00:17:56,377 Hola. 498 00:17:57,445 --> 00:17:59,279 I'm sorry that Cece did this to you. 499 00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:02,449 That's okay. I'm used to it. 500 00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:05,051 I guess I'll just always be the fat kid with the big dreams. 501 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:06,252 It's not you. 502 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,721 I love Cece, but she's not ready for you. 503 00:18:08,789 --> 00:18:11,023 You're a good guy, 504 00:18:11,092 --> 00:18:14,093 You know, if you ignore everything that you do on purpose, 505 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:16,995 and concentrate on all of the things that you do by accident. 506 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,131 Thank you. 507 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,134 She'd eat you up. 508 00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:25,571 You really think she'd eat me up? 509 00:18:25,639 --> 00:18:27,073 Yeah. 510 00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,007 Like buffet style? 511 00:18:29,075 --> 00:18:30,208 You know, all you can eat? 512 00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:32,710 'cause I got that prime rib, yo. 513 00:18:33,277 --> 00:18:34,613 Carving station, 514 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,681 plates are warm, sneeze guard, 515 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:39,417 kids eat for free. I mean, except for the... 516 00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:41,452 Except for the last... 517 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,055 All right, let's go. Let's go, Schmidt, okay? 518 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,122 Okay. 519 00:18:49,961 --> 00:18:52,429 Hey, Cece. Um... 520 00:18:52,997 --> 00:18:57,334 Look, I get it. This isn't going to happen. 521 00:18:57,901 --> 00:18:59,770 But the couch is super uncomfortable, 522 00:19:00,538 --> 00:19:02,438 my sunburn's starting to blister, and 523 00:19:03,006 --> 00:19:04,974 I just want to sleep in my own bed. 524 00:19:05,742 --> 00:19:06,808 Okay. 525 00:19:24,659 --> 00:19:26,660 I'm sorry for everything. 526 00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:30,565 I can be a jerk sometimes. 527 00:19:38,541 --> 00:19:40,474 I hate sleeping alone. 528 00:19:42,509 --> 00:19:43,877 Me too. 529 00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:45,512 Sweet. 530 00:19:49,416 --> 00:19:51,351 Sch-weet... 531 00:19:51,419 --> 00:19:52,419 Better when you don't talk. 532 00:19:52,487 --> 00:19:54,354 Yeah. 533 00:20:02,996 --> 00:20:04,530 If you tell anyone we held hands, 534 00:20:04,598 --> 00:20:06,765 I have two people in my phone that will kill you. 535 00:20:07,533 --> 00:20:08,834 Literally. 536 00:20:24,217 --> 00:20:26,218 - Hmm... - Oh. 537 00:20:42,733 --> 00:20:45,935 Hey. 538 00:20:46,502 --> 00:20:50,473 I'm sorry I acted so weird today. Weird! 539 00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:52,474 It's okay. 540 00:21:08,089 --> 00:21:09,258 - Yo. - I did it, man. 541 00:21:09,325 --> 00:21:10,992 I'm holding her hand right now. She's in my bed 542 00:21:11,060 --> 00:21:12,594 and she's asleep. 543 00:21:12,662 --> 00:21:15,230 Wait, so you're in... you're in the room right now? 544 00:21:15,298 --> 00:21:18,432 What is wrong with you? Hang up the phone. 545 00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,067 I did it. I closed. 546 00:21:20,135 --> 00:21:22,303 We could have this conversation at any time. 547 00:21:22,371 --> 00:21:25,406 Shh. Please, shh. 548 00:21:26,174 --> 00:21:27,207 Okay, we're good. 549 00:21:27,276 --> 00:21:28,743 And just so we're clear, when I say "closing," 550 00:21:28,810 --> 00:21:30,244 this is not what I'm talking about. 551 00:21:30,312 --> 00:21:31,879 You need to define your terms. 552 00:21:31,946 --> 00:21:36,249 Because what I'm doing right now feels an awful lot like closing. 553 00:21:36,317 --> 00:21:41,152 Sync by Alice | Corrections by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com