1 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:05,094 I can't believe Jess got me roller skates for Christmas. 2 00:00:05,219 --> 00:00:07,063 I feel so free. 3 00:00:07,304 --> 00:00:08,981 - Don't. - See this. 4 00:00:09,106 --> 00:00:10,483 "Merry Christmas, Brendan. 5 00:00:10,649 --> 00:00:12,235 Don't swallow these. Love, Uncle Nick." 6 00:00:12,401 --> 00:00:13,969 It's a great gift. He's a 12-year-old kid, 7 00:00:14,094 --> 00:00:15,521 it's a bunch of tacks. He's going to love 'em. 8 00:00:15,646 --> 00:00:17,282 - Give it to me. - I hate Christmas. 9 00:00:17,448 --> 00:00:19,191 First of all, it means that Hanukkah is over. 10 00:00:19,316 --> 00:00:21,243 Second of all, I hate it when you guys leave and go home. 11 00:00:21,368 --> 00:00:22,578 When are you leaving? 12 00:00:22,744 --> 00:00:23,663 - I think 4:00 a.m. - Tomorrow at 3:00 p.m. 13 00:00:23,829 --> 00:00:25,081 Is that it? Schmidt, 14 00:00:25,247 --> 00:00:26,499 don't worry about it, man, we're all gonna 15 00:00:26,624 --> 00:00:27,709 hang out tonight at your office party. 16 00:00:27,875 --> 00:00:29,210 Please tell me you're not dressing up 17 00:00:29,376 --> 00:00:30,295 like Santa this year, are you? 18 00:00:30,461 --> 00:00:31,837 I'm the only man in the office. 19 00:00:31,962 --> 00:00:32,955 Of course I'm gonna dress up like Santa. 20 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,290 Look, I like it. 21 00:00:34,415 --> 00:00:35,842 I get all this dirt on my coworkers. 22 00:00:36,083 --> 00:00:37,427 They get drunk and they whisper what they want 23 00:00:37,593 --> 00:00:39,595 for Christmas in my ear, and then I use that information 24 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,663 to subtly undermine them and control them 25 00:00:41,788 --> 00:00:43,048 for the rest of the year. 26 00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:44,934 Ah, the true spirit of Christmas. 27 00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:46,852 Winston, you'd better watch it, man, 28 00:00:46,977 --> 00:00:48,021 because I will take you down. 29 00:00:48,187 --> 00:00:49,772 You want to go? You want to go? 30 00:00:49,897 --> 00:00:51,190 You're gonna take me down? I had figure skating lessons 31 00:00:51,356 --> 00:00:53,442 until I was 13, and then my mom sobered up 32 00:00:53,567 --> 00:00:55,677 and realized I was a boy. Let's do this. 33 00:00:55,802 --> 00:00:57,280 - You should not have said that. - Hey, guys, guys, don't fight. 34 00:00:57,446 --> 00:00:59,824 - Let's go. - You're wearing roller skates. 35 00:00:59,990 --> 00:01:02,285 - I'm telling you, man. - Both of you, enough, hey, hey. 36 00:01:02,451 --> 00:01:03,870 Nothing's smart about what you guys are doing. 37 00:01:04,036 --> 00:01:05,871 Why don't you both act like grown-ups? 38 00:01:05,996 --> 00:01:07,957 - No, no. - I need your help right now. 39 00:01:08,123 --> 00:01:09,708 I need you guys to get in my car 40 00:01:09,833 --> 00:01:11,410 and come with me to the mall 'cause I really need 41 00:01:11,535 --> 00:01:14,047 to figure out what to buy Paul for... 42 00:01:16,965 --> 00:01:18,551 - No, I... - That is so sweet. 43 00:01:18,717 --> 00:01:19,719 I need to take a picture. 44 00:01:19,885 --> 00:01:21,012 Jess, don't take a photo right now. 45 00:01:21,178 --> 00:01:22,972 - So cute. - Don't do the photo. 46 00:01:23,138 --> 00:01:24,432 - Please, no pictures. - So cute, so cute. 47 00:01:24,598 --> 00:01:28,519 Sync by Mlmlte, Corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com WEB-DL by <3 AWiNTER <3 48 00:01:28,735 --> 00:01:30,772 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ ♪ It's Jess. ♪ 49 00:01:30,988 --> 00:01:33,649 So why can't you figure out what to get your boyfriend Paul? 50 00:01:33,774 --> 00:01:35,651 I don't know. 51 00:01:35,776 --> 00:01:37,945 Maybe 'cause we've only been going out for, like, a month, 52 00:01:38,112 --> 00:01:39,071 so I know it's not something fancy. 53 00:01:39,196 --> 00:01:41,865 But do I get him a gag gift or do I get him something sweet? 54 00:01:41,865 --> 00:01:42,764 I don't know. 55 00:01:42,766 --> 00:01:45,018 Well, I think you got to figure out what you feel about him 56 00:01:45,018 --> 00:01:46,078 and then get a gift that reflects it. 57 00:01:46,203 --> 00:01:47,830 I think that's kind of the move. 58 00:01:47,955 --> 00:01:51,018 My initial thought was to get him a gift certificate 59 00:01:51,024 --> 00:01:52,234 for piping hot sex. 60 00:01:52,359 --> 00:01:53,469 Really... oh, you're being serious? 61 00:01:53,494 --> 00:01:54,753 But I don't want him to think 62 00:01:54,878 --> 00:01:56,255 that I'm using him for his body. 63 00:01:56,380 --> 00:01:58,424 I'm sure he'd be okay with that. 64 00:01:58,590 --> 00:02:01,928 "Nerdy weird sex that works for both of us." 65 00:02:02,094 --> 00:02:03,095 - Give it back. - This is amazing. 66 00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:04,430 - No, come on. - I'm gonna keep this. 67 00:02:04,555 --> 00:02:06,181 I'm gonna cash this in one night and get 68 00:02:06,306 --> 00:02:07,550 - some weird nerd sex with it. - No, but it's not for you. 69 00:02:07,675 --> 00:02:08,884 Oh, my God, thank you. 70 00:02:09,009 --> 00:02:10,719 Now I know what I'm getting my mom. 71 00:02:10,844 --> 00:02:12,230 - Oh, my God, Nick. - It's going right to my mom. 72 00:02:12,396 --> 00:02:14,356 Why do we have to go to this office party tonight? 73 00:02:14,481 --> 00:02:15,808 Because it's the last night 74 00:02:15,933 --> 00:02:17,476 before you guys go home to your families, 75 00:02:17,601 --> 00:02:19,361 and we got to blow this thing out, man. 76 00:02:19,486 --> 00:02:20,529 Plus, it'll be a good opportunity 77 00:02:20,654 --> 00:02:22,114 for you to do some networking. 78 00:02:22,239 --> 00:02:23,699 Help with the job search. 79 00:02:23,824 --> 00:02:25,267 I'm telling you, everybody's hitting the nog, 80 00:02:25,392 --> 00:02:26,869 having a good time, letting loose. 81 00:02:26,994 --> 00:02:30,239 You swoop in there, and then boom... new job, man. 82 00:02:30,364 --> 00:02:31,991 That's how things work. 83 00:02:32,116 --> 00:02:33,662 You know, Benjamins in your pocket, La Pen-si-own, 84 00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:37,069 little four-to-the-oh- to-the-one-to-the-kay. 85 00:02:37,421 --> 00:02:39,215 You're making me want to stay broke. 86 00:02:39,381 --> 00:02:40,925 So what'd you get Paul? 87 00:02:41,091 --> 00:02:43,385 I'm not telling you, but, um, I'll give you a hint. 88 00:02:43,510 --> 00:02:44,929 It's fuzzy. 89 00:02:45,095 --> 00:02:46,555 Well, I hope you didn't listen to Nick. 90 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,247 He's the worst gift giver ever. 91 00:02:53,721 --> 00:02:56,357 You're welcome. 92 00:02:56,773 --> 00:02:57,775 Where are we, Jess? 93 00:02:57,941 --> 00:02:59,902 We are on Candy Cane Lane. 94 00:03:00,027 --> 00:03:01,320 At night, the whole block lights up 95 00:03:01,445 --> 00:03:02,655 with Christmas decorations. 96 00:03:02,821 --> 00:03:04,031 It's so beautiful. 97 00:03:04,197 --> 00:03:06,075 Oh, my God, it's so beautiful. 98 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,120 What fun, what wonderful fun. 99 00:03:09,286 --> 00:03:10,646 Okay, whatever. 100 00:03:10,771 --> 00:03:12,290 We have to come back later 101 00:03:12,456 --> 00:03:13,916 'cause you'll see what I'm talking about. 102 00:03:14,082 --> 00:03:15,451 Oh, no, we're not gonna have time. 103 00:03:15,576 --> 00:03:16,836 We have to go straight from the party to the airport. 104 00:03:17,077 --> 00:03:17,836 - No. - Yes, I've missed my flight 105 00:03:17,961 --> 00:03:19,622 four years in a row. 106 00:03:19,747 --> 00:03:21,716 If I miss it this year, my mom's gonna kill me. 107 00:03:21,882 --> 00:03:23,800 Schmidt, it's a menorah for you. 108 00:03:23,967 --> 00:03:26,011 Oh, a menorah. 109 00:03:26,136 --> 00:03:28,287 Judaism, son. 110 00:03:33,018 --> 00:03:35,730 Hey, hi. 111 00:03:35,896 --> 00:03:36,981 You look awesome. 112 00:03:37,147 --> 00:03:38,190 It's a before and after 113 00:03:38,315 --> 00:03:39,484 for a Bolivian diet pill. 114 00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:41,234 El Glatrax? Yeah, I've taken that. 115 00:03:41,401 --> 00:03:42,361 I'm "before." 116 00:03:42,486 --> 00:03:44,279 Su-sure, you are, look at that. 117 00:03:44,404 --> 00:03:46,231 So you said you wanted to see me for something? 118 00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:49,068 Yes, I brought you a gift. 119 00:03:49,193 --> 00:03:50,745 I hope you appreciate that I have kept 120 00:03:50,911 --> 00:03:52,204 eye contact with you this whole time 121 00:03:52,329 --> 00:03:53,355 and made no reference to the fact 122 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:54,624 that you are basically naked. 123 00:03:54,790 --> 00:03:55,875 Very proud of you, Schmidt. 124 00:03:56,041 --> 00:03:57,710 Hey, hey. 125 00:03:59,620 --> 00:04:02,006 Oh, lot of tongue. 126 00:04:02,172 --> 00:04:03,633 - Done with her hair? - With her...? 127 00:04:03,799 --> 00:04:04,883 No, I'm not the hair guy, man. 128 00:04:05,008 --> 00:04:05,968 Oh, no, no, no, this is 129 00:04:06,134 --> 00:04:07,503 my very good friend Schmidt, 130 00:04:07,628 --> 00:04:09,764 and he just came by to bring me a gift, so... 131 00:04:09,930 --> 00:04:12,266 It's perfume. 132 00:04:12,432 --> 00:04:15,043 Why does it say "Cecilia Number 5"? 133 00:04:15,168 --> 00:04:17,262 Actually, it says that because... you know, 134 00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:19,440 I ma... I made it specifically for you. 135 00:04:19,606 --> 00:04:20,599 Yeah, I found this place on Third Street 136 00:04:20,724 --> 00:04:22,401 where you can design your own perfume. 137 00:04:22,526 --> 00:04:25,613 Base notes of cocoa because of your brown, uh... 138 00:04:25,779 --> 00:04:27,073 ness. 139 00:04:27,239 --> 00:04:29,491 Sea salt, because it kind of sounds like Cece. 140 00:04:29,616 --> 00:04:31,661 Uh, and sandalwood... 141 00:04:31,827 --> 00:04:35,831 Sandalwood... always up to no good. 142 00:04:35,956 --> 00:04:36,832 That's, um... 143 00:04:36,957 --> 00:04:39,084 Ha. 144 00:04:39,209 --> 00:04:40,502 - Thank you. - Yeah. 145 00:04:40,627 --> 00:04:42,204 - Thanks. - Neat. 146 00:04:42,329 --> 00:04:44,173 Let's get back to work. 147 00:04:44,339 --> 00:04:46,208 Yeah, okay, um... 148 00:04:46,333 --> 00:04:48,010 I'll see you tonight. 149 00:04:48,176 --> 00:04:49,578 - Yeah. - Yeah, I'll just... I'll see you there. 150 00:04:49,703 --> 00:04:51,554 We'll do that. 151 00:04:52,848 --> 00:04:54,416 Three, two, one. 152 00:04:54,541 --> 00:04:55,685 Go. 153 00:04:55,851 --> 00:04:56,727 Envelope. 154 00:04:56,893 --> 00:04:57,853 Festive bag. I was afraid 155 00:04:58,019 --> 00:05:00,064 you were going to get me jewelry, so... 156 00:05:00,230 --> 00:05:01,356 Oh, no. 157 00:05:01,481 --> 00:05:02,591 What is it? 158 00:05:02,716 --> 00:05:03,985 Oh, my God. 159 00:05:04,151 --> 00:05:06,928 Oh, my God, two tickets to Vienna 160 00:05:07,053 --> 00:05:10,575 and passes to the Salzburg Music Festival? 161 00:05:10,741 --> 00:05:12,410 That's, like, incredible. 162 00:05:12,576 --> 00:05:13,952 - You're gonna love it. - I'm speechless. 163 00:05:14,077 --> 00:05:17,415 And, um, all I got you was... 164 00:05:17,581 --> 00:05:21,919 "Anatomically correct heart of a 50-year-old nonsmoker." 165 00:05:26,465 --> 00:05:27,783 You know what? 166 00:05:27,908 --> 00:05:30,094 Normally I'm, like, really good at giving gifts, 167 00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:31,303 and I thought that was romantic, 168 00:05:31,428 --> 00:05:33,672 but it's just... so creepy. 169 00:05:33,797 --> 00:05:35,891 I, I'm sorry, I have to get you something better. 170 00:05:36,057 --> 00:05:37,810 No, it's great, I love it. 171 00:05:37,976 --> 00:05:42,731 It's funny an-and quirky and, and so sweet. 172 00:05:42,856 --> 00:05:44,817 It's like you. 173 00:05:44,983 --> 00:05:46,235 That's why I love it. 174 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:47,653 I love it. 175 00:05:47,819 --> 00:05:49,196 Thank you, I love it. 176 00:05:49,362 --> 00:05:52,732 I... I love you. 177 00:06:00,257 --> 00:06:02,808 Thank you. 178 00:06:04,085 --> 00:06:06,455 You're very welcome. 179 00:06:06,580 --> 00:06:08,423 You're welcome. 180 00:06:17,053 --> 00:06:18,643 Look at you, all dressed up. 181 00:06:18,809 --> 00:06:20,381 What, are you in The Temptations tonight? 182 00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:22,067 That's so cute, Nick, you're intimidated by my style. 183 00:06:22,192 --> 00:06:23,551 But I'll tell you what... 184 00:06:23,676 --> 00:06:25,608 one of us is walking out of here with a job. 185 00:06:25,774 --> 00:06:26,571 Where you going? 186 00:06:26,696 --> 00:06:27,822 You wore my present. 187 00:06:27,947 --> 00:06:28,986 I did. 188 00:06:29,152 --> 00:06:30,825 - Thank you, I love it. - Yay. 189 00:06:30,950 --> 00:06:32,994 She's seen it now, so maybe you can take it off. 190 00:06:33,119 --> 00:06:34,829 You look like a man. 191 00:06:34,954 --> 00:06:36,081 - I know, right? - That's what's freaking me out. 192 00:06:36,206 --> 00:06:38,037 Good humor and fun... God forbid. 193 00:06:39,963 --> 00:06:41,499 - Is that Schmidt? - Oh. 194 00:06:41,665 --> 00:06:43,167 What the...? 195 00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:44,539 Hey, guys. 196 00:06:44,664 --> 00:06:45,711 Whoa, whoa, 197 00:06:45,877 --> 00:06:47,042 Schmidt, Santa voice. 198 00:06:47,167 --> 00:06:48,255 This isn't temple. 199 00:06:48,421 --> 00:06:50,633 Ho, ho, ho. 200 00:06:51,754 --> 00:06:54,095 Are those my shorts? 201 00:06:59,095 --> 00:07:00,939 Hey, what's wrong, Jess? 202 00:07:01,064 --> 00:07:01,977 Hey, Nick. 203 00:07:03,937 --> 00:07:05,231 Paul told me he loved me. 204 00:07:05,518 --> 00:07:07,525 - Hmm. - And I couldn't say it back, 205 00:07:07,691 --> 00:07:10,569 so I, um, said "Thank you," 206 00:07:10,735 --> 00:07:12,863 which was horrible. 207 00:07:13,029 --> 00:07:15,070 I don't know what to do because I am always 208 00:07:15,195 --> 00:07:17,271 the one who loves more. 209 00:07:17,396 --> 00:07:18,907 That's my thing. 210 00:07:19,032 --> 00:07:20,542 One time I went on a date 211 00:07:20,667 --> 00:07:23,791 and by 11:00 p.m., I gave the guy my ATM code. 212 00:07:23,957 --> 00:07:24,834 What is your ATM code? 213 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,043 42... 214 00:07:26,209 --> 00:07:27,461 Very funny. 215 00:07:27,627 --> 00:07:28,833 Very good try, but no. 216 00:07:28,958 --> 00:07:30,548 Not a try... I got it. 217 00:07:30,714 --> 00:07:33,300 If you don't have feelings for Paul, you got to tell him. 218 00:07:33,466 --> 00:07:35,090 I can't do that to someone on Christmas. 219 00:07:35,215 --> 00:07:36,846 And then it's New Year's. 220 00:07:37,012 --> 00:07:39,390 Then it's going to be Valentine's Day and then, 221 00:07:39,556 --> 00:07:40,891 whoa, it's Presidents' Day. 222 00:07:41,057 --> 00:07:43,686 Hard to argue with that logic, but just tell him. 223 00:07:43,852 --> 00:07:46,935 Don't lead him on... you'll just hurt him more. 224 00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:48,319 Okay. 225 00:07:48,444 --> 00:07:49,571 I'm gonna do it. 226 00:07:49,696 --> 00:07:50,638 I'm gonna tell him. 227 00:07:50,763 --> 00:07:53,198 - You are? - Yeah. 228 00:07:55,434 --> 00:07:57,569 Hey, what are you doing in here? 229 00:07:58,988 --> 00:08:00,865 Kyle's being a jerk. 230 00:08:00,990 --> 00:08:02,117 What are you doing in here? 231 00:08:02,242 --> 00:08:04,202 Eating cookies and avoiding confrontation. 232 00:08:04,327 --> 00:08:06,921 Remember when Christmas used to be fun and all I had to do 233 00:08:07,046 --> 00:08:08,590 was worry about my drunk uncle asking me out? 234 00:08:08,715 --> 00:08:10,341 Yes, Uncle Pardeep. 235 00:08:10,466 --> 00:08:11,593 He thought I was a boy. 236 00:08:11,718 --> 00:08:13,591 Such a weirdo. 237 00:08:19,292 --> 00:08:21,126 Okay. 238 00:08:24,797 --> 00:08:26,687 Hey, man. 239 00:08:26,853 --> 00:08:27,859 Hey. 240 00:08:27,984 --> 00:08:28,860 How you doing, Paul? 241 00:08:28,985 --> 00:08:29,899 Good. 242 00:08:30,065 --> 00:08:31,776 Has Jess not talked to you? 243 00:08:31,942 --> 00:08:33,014 Oh, yeah, no, we talked. 244 00:08:33,139 --> 00:08:34,570 - Yeah, yeah, no, I... - She did, okay. 245 00:08:34,736 --> 00:08:36,238 Yeah, it's hard, you know, 246 00:08:36,404 --> 00:08:37,823 it's really tricky. It's like she doesn't 247 00:08:37,989 --> 00:08:40,872 love you right now, Paul, but that's not to say 248 00:08:40,997 --> 00:08:42,661 she might not fall in love with you later. 249 00:08:42,827 --> 00:08:44,705 I think that's the positive way of looking at it, 250 00:08:44,951 --> 00:08:47,166 but it's hard, man, believe me. 251 00:08:47,332 --> 00:08:51,432 We talked about how we might have to drive you 252 00:08:51,557 --> 00:08:54,006 to the airport 'cause you're gonna miss your flight. 253 00:08:54,172 --> 00:08:57,138 Yeah, that was probably all you guys talked about, 254 00:08:57,263 --> 00:08:58,594 so I'm joking. 255 00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:00,763 - W-wait a minute. - Because she hasn't... 256 00:09:00,929 --> 00:09:02,560 Yeah, I know... guess what, Paul. 257 00:09:02,685 --> 00:09:03,711 Don't even think right now. 258 00:09:03,836 --> 00:09:05,142 I'm drunk. 259 00:09:05,308 --> 00:09:06,936 - Did... Jess tell you... - I'm so drunk. 260 00:09:07,102 --> 00:09:08,066 - ... that she doesn't love me? - What's happ...? No, 261 00:09:08,191 --> 00:09:09,980 shut up, you goofball. 262 00:09:10,146 --> 00:09:12,358 I'm... this conversation didn't happen. 263 00:09:12,524 --> 00:09:14,974 Did Jess tell you she doesn't love me? 264 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,618 Joke. 265 00:09:20,907 --> 00:09:23,198 But he's the best guy, Cece. 266 00:09:23,323 --> 00:09:24,949 Maybe I should just make it work. 267 00:09:25,074 --> 00:09:26,205 Yeah, no, Jess, you can't 268 00:09:26,371 --> 00:09:29,370 just dive into something like this right now. 269 00:09:29,495 --> 00:09:32,406 Yeah, I just wish I could stay in this bathroom all night. 270 00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:34,075 Me, too. 271 00:09:36,586 --> 00:09:39,848 Whoo, that eggnog is deadly. 272 00:09:42,971 --> 00:09:44,302 We got to get out of here. 273 00:09:44,427 --> 00:09:45,954 Yeah, we do. 274 00:09:46,079 --> 00:09:48,723 I should just put it off till later, after the holidays. 275 00:09:48,848 --> 00:09:50,108 You coming? 276 00:09:50,233 --> 00:09:52,393 Yeah, I'll be out in a sec. 277 00:09:52,518 --> 00:09:53,895 Kyle wants to go to this party. 278 00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:56,397 Ugh, Kyle is the living worst. 279 00:09:56,522 --> 00:09:57,649 Yeah, I know. 280 00:09:57,774 --> 00:09:59,858 Did he even get you a gift? 281 00:10:01,361 --> 00:10:03,195 No. 282 00:10:15,124 --> 00:10:16,551 Who wants to sit at a desk all day? 283 00:10:16,676 --> 00:10:18,570 Not me... I don't want to have to do that. 284 00:10:18,695 --> 00:10:20,759 I don't want to call Wednesday "hump day." 285 00:10:21,004 --> 00:10:23,875 I don't even know how to network. 286 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,610 So what's your deal, man? 287 00:10:25,735 --> 00:10:26,978 Why are you sitting here by yourself? 288 00:10:27,103 --> 00:10:29,047 Mommy won't let me sit in Santa's lap. 289 00:10:29,172 --> 00:10:30,281 You have a smart mommy. 290 00:10:30,406 --> 00:10:32,146 Yeah. 291 00:10:32,312 --> 00:10:34,899 Hi, I'm the genius who brought my kid to this Christmas party. 292 00:10:35,065 --> 00:10:37,943 Looking forward to years of therapy over Dirty Santa. 293 00:10:38,109 --> 00:10:39,857 I can't believe that he's even talking to you. 294 00:10:39,982 --> 00:10:41,113 He doesn't like anyone. 295 00:10:41,279 --> 00:10:42,781 Yeah, I don't like anyone. 296 00:10:42,947 --> 00:10:44,074 Yeah, but we're really working on that. 297 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:45,451 No, she's working on that. 298 00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:48,913 My man. 299 00:10:49,275 --> 00:10:50,034 - Okay? - You think it's fun? 300 00:10:50,159 --> 00:10:50,985 - Do it. - I do think it's fun. 301 00:10:51,110 --> 00:10:52,458 Do it then. 302 00:10:52,624 --> 00:10:54,956 Do it. 303 00:10:55,081 --> 00:10:56,629 Okay. 304 00:10:56,795 --> 00:10:58,797 What are you doing, Santa? 305 00:10:59,052 --> 00:11:00,878 - I have a really bad case of Santa lap. - Hmm. 306 00:11:01,003 --> 00:11:03,097 The entire marketing department is wearing wool. 307 00:11:03,222 --> 00:11:04,549 It's not good down there. 308 00:11:04,674 --> 00:11:06,722 Well, get back to work soon. 309 00:11:06,976 --> 00:11:08,886 - Boom! - Ow! Why would you...? 310 00:11:09,011 --> 00:11:11,101 There are so many bobby pins up there. 311 00:11:11,347 --> 00:11:13,687 - Everything's attached... - Does she always talk to you like that? 312 00:11:13,853 --> 00:11:15,064 Yeah, kind of. 313 00:11:15,230 --> 00:11:17,149 You like dressing up like Santa? 314 00:11:17,315 --> 00:11:18,646 Sexy Santa. 315 00:11:18,771 --> 00:11:20,736 No. The truth is, no, I don't. 316 00:11:20,990 --> 00:11:22,700 You know, you don't deserve to be treated like that. 317 00:11:22,825 --> 00:11:24,073 You just got to tell her no. 318 00:11:24,239 --> 00:11:25,686 Otherwise, all she'll do is see you 319 00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:27,326 as a pretty face and a hot body. 320 00:11:27,492 --> 00:11:29,036 I'm sorry, what was that? 321 00:11:29,202 --> 00:11:30,996 - You have a pretty face. - No, no, no, 322 00:11:31,162 --> 00:11:32,206 'cause the second part. 323 00:11:32,372 --> 00:11:33,958 And I'd like you to say it, like, in an accent, 324 00:11:34,124 --> 00:11:35,709 - but make direct eye contact. - Yes, Schmidt, 325 00:11:35,875 --> 00:11:37,882 do not push your luck with me. 326 00:11:38,007 --> 00:11:39,838 What's that smell? 327 00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:41,502 That's your perfume. 328 00:11:41,627 --> 00:11:42,920 You wore it? 329 00:11:43,045 --> 00:11:44,589 Yeah, and it smells terrible. 330 00:11:44,714 --> 00:11:45,803 Ha! 331 00:11:45,969 --> 00:11:47,058 It does smell terrible. 332 00:11:47,183 --> 00:11:48,876 It's like a dirty dish towel. 333 00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:51,183 Santa voice! 334 00:11:51,349 --> 00:11:52,851 Please just tell me what she said. 335 00:11:53,017 --> 00:11:54,766 She said the sex is really great, 336 00:11:54,891 --> 00:11:57,101 but she just doesn't want to jump into anything. 337 00:11:57,226 --> 00:11:59,274 - Why am I talking about this? - Oh, my God, 338 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,318 the sex is great, it's amazing. 339 00:12:01,484 --> 00:12:02,695 - Great. - We had amazing sex 340 00:12:02,861 --> 00:12:05,447 this morning, and then we ate Taro chips. 341 00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:08,229 - Oh, my God. Oh, oh. - Oh, God. I... 342 00:12:08,354 --> 00:12:11,704 I feel like such a terrible guy for saying that to you, man. 343 00:12:12,024 --> 00:12:13,701 - Oh, my God. - You're a good guy, Genzlinger. 344 00:12:13,826 --> 00:12:15,457 Hey, man, just let it go. 345 00:12:15,623 --> 00:12:17,334 You know what I mean? Just let it 346 00:12:17,663 --> 00:12:18,752 - brush off your shoulders, dude. - Oh, man. 347 00:12:18,918 --> 00:12:20,546 - What has happened to my life? - Hey. 348 00:12:21,796 --> 00:12:23,590 Why are you guys hugging? 349 00:12:23,756 --> 00:12:25,413 - Just guy-talkin'. - Yeah. 350 00:12:25,538 --> 00:12:26,931 - Yeah? - Everything's fine. 351 00:12:27,056 --> 00:12:28,916 - We're just talking. - Just talking. 352 00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:30,222 About, uh... 353 00:12:30,388 --> 00:12:34,727 how moved we are... by jazz music. 354 00:12:34,893 --> 00:12:36,774 That's a lie. 355 00:12:36,899 --> 00:12:38,860 I told him you didn't love him, Jess. 356 00:12:38,985 --> 00:12:39,773 - What?! - Because I... 357 00:12:39,939 --> 00:12:40,816 But he said it nicely. 358 00:12:40,982 --> 00:12:42,735 Are you kidding me?! 359 00:12:43,072 --> 00:12:44,432 - It's not your information to share. - I totally agree, 360 00:12:44,557 --> 00:12:45,766 - and I regret it. - It is not your information... 361 00:12:45,891 --> 00:12:46,989 - Why would you do that? - I apologize. 362 00:12:47,155 --> 00:12:49,867 - You guys have a lot to do. I'm sorry. - Nick. Nick. 363 00:12:50,033 --> 00:12:51,076 Oh, my God. 364 00:12:51,242 --> 00:12:53,291 Please! This is my nightmare! 365 00:12:53,416 --> 00:12:55,076 Winston! 366 00:12:55,201 --> 00:12:56,244 Schmidt! 367 00:12:56,369 --> 00:12:58,417 Help me...! 368 00:13:01,860 --> 00:13:03,834 Paul, I really care about you. 369 00:13:03,959 --> 00:13:05,052 I think I just... 370 00:13:05,177 --> 00:13:07,509 I think I just feel really overwhelmed. 371 00:13:07,675 --> 00:13:09,974 Yeah. Yeah, I know, Nicholas told m... 372 00:13:10,099 --> 00:13:11,680 Damn it. 373 00:13:11,846 --> 00:13:13,344 Hey, guys, just pretend I'm not here, 374 00:13:13,469 --> 00:13:15,529 and just do whatever you two guys are doing. 375 00:13:15,654 --> 00:13:17,311 I'm not here. I'm not even listening. 376 00:13:17,477 --> 00:13:19,104 This is my nightmare. 377 00:13:19,270 --> 00:13:21,690 I-I knew you were getting out of a long relationship. 378 00:13:21,911 --> 00:13:23,537 You told me all about Spencer. I just thought... 379 00:13:23,662 --> 00:13:26,190 I thought we were feeling the same things for each other. 380 00:13:26,315 --> 00:13:27,446 You seemed like you were. 381 00:13:27,612 --> 00:13:29,560 I was. I just... 382 00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:31,929 I feel like maybe you were feeling them 383 00:13:32,054 --> 00:13:33,764 a little bit more than me. 384 00:13:33,889 --> 00:13:34,953 Nick! 385 00:13:35,119 --> 00:13:36,163 You started this. 386 00:13:36,329 --> 00:13:37,498 Sit down and be quiet! 387 00:13:40,212 --> 00:13:42,539 I just... I got really hurt, 388 00:13:42,664 --> 00:13:46,840 and I... I'm trying really hard not to get hurt again. 389 00:13:47,006 --> 00:13:49,259 I'm not gonna hurt you. 390 00:13:49,425 --> 00:13:51,565 Oh. 391 00:13:51,690 --> 00:13:52,817 Oh... 392 00:13:52,942 --> 00:13:54,973 I am so sorry. 393 00:13:55,139 --> 00:13:57,601 This is as rude as it gets. 394 00:13:57,767 --> 00:14:00,207 It is my mom, though. 395 00:14:00,332 --> 00:14:02,356 I... Hey, Ma. How you doing? 396 00:14:02,522 --> 00:14:04,066 I can't talk right now. 397 00:14:04,232 --> 00:14:05,913 I'm in a real weird situation. 398 00:14:06,038 --> 00:14:09,404 No, Ma, I'm not high... I'm done with that phase. 399 00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:11,657 I promise you I won't miss my flight. 400 00:14:11,823 --> 00:14:13,951 Okay. I love you, Mama. Bye. 401 00:14:14,117 --> 00:14:15,647 - You done? - Mm-hmm. 402 00:14:17,049 --> 00:14:19,026 Can we just... 403 00:14:19,151 --> 00:14:22,709 can we just keep going but take it a little bit slow? 404 00:14:22,875 --> 00:14:24,586 I-I don't know if I can do that. 405 00:14:24,752 --> 00:14:27,631 I don't know how with you. 406 00:14:27,797 --> 00:14:29,007 - It's just not how I feel. - Well, all 407 00:14:29,173 --> 00:14:30,968 she's asking you to do is slow it down a little bit. 408 00:14:31,134 --> 00:14:31,844 - How's that hard? - Nick. 409 00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:33,137 Yeah. 410 00:14:34,503 --> 00:14:36,240 All right, everybody leave the room. 411 00:14:36,306 --> 00:14:37,578 I need to talk to Kim. 412 00:14:37,703 --> 00:14:38,892 Okay, you know what? Actually, 413 00:14:39,058 --> 00:14:40,602 stay... this'll be good for you guys 414 00:14:40,768 --> 00:14:41,728 to hear this, too. 415 00:14:41,894 --> 00:14:43,417 Why d... Don't... Come on. 416 00:14:43,542 --> 00:14:44,982 - I just told... - There are two hours left 417 00:14:45,148 --> 00:14:46,053 in this party. 418 00:14:46,178 --> 00:14:47,568 What are you doing, Santa? 419 00:14:47,734 --> 00:14:49,695 Kim, I'm not gonna be Sexy Santa anymore. 420 00:14:49,861 --> 00:14:51,572 It's over. Santa's dead. 421 00:14:51,738 --> 00:14:52,893 I killed him. 422 00:14:54,803 --> 00:14:56,785 Oh, my God. No, no, no, don't worry, that's just 423 00:14:56,951 --> 00:14:57,932 Gina's cowardly son. 424 00:14:58,057 --> 00:14:59,663 He is a scream machine. 425 00:14:59,629 --> 00:15:01,423 Kim, I'm not a sex object, all right? 426 00:15:01,589 --> 00:15:03,050 I'm your employee. 427 00:15:03,216 --> 00:15:04,455 And I work harder than anyone. 428 00:15:04,580 --> 00:15:06,553 I'm the first one to show up every morning. 429 00:15:06,719 --> 00:15:07,554 No, you're not. 430 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:08,806 There's never a parking space. 431 00:15:08,972 --> 00:15:10,224 That's because everyone's already here, Schmidt. 432 00:15:10,390 --> 00:15:11,629 Okay, you're so off topic right now. 433 00:15:11,754 --> 00:15:12,747 - You're missing the point. - What? 434 00:15:12,872 --> 00:15:14,687 You need to take me seriously, Kim. 435 00:15:14,853 --> 00:15:16,384 Does that mean no more... 436 00:15:16,509 --> 00:15:18,065 Sexy Easter Bunny? 437 00:15:18,231 --> 00:15:19,191 No Sexy Easter Bunny. 438 00:15:19,357 --> 00:15:21,610 What about, uh, Cinco de Sexy? 439 00:15:21,776 --> 00:15:22,820 No Cinco de Sexy. 440 00:15:22,986 --> 00:15:24,363 And no Sexy Martin Luther King? 441 00:15:24,529 --> 00:15:25,709 I could never get the voice, 442 00:15:25,834 --> 00:15:27,491 I never really felt like I had the authority... 443 00:15:27,657 --> 00:15:29,702 I can't believe it took you five years to say that. 444 00:15:29,868 --> 00:15:30,995 Well, I guess I'm gonna 445 00:15:31,161 --> 00:15:33,401 have to be Sexy Santa next year. 446 00:15:33,526 --> 00:15:35,457 Yeah, just got to jingle bell rock. 447 00:15:35,623 --> 00:15:37,104 You know what I mean? 448 00:15:37,229 --> 00:15:38,919 That is so inappropriate. 449 00:15:39,085 --> 00:15:41,839 I get it... so you can dish it out but you can't take it. 450 00:15:42,005 --> 00:15:43,995 Yeah, how's that feel, Kim? 451 00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:45,653 I like it. 452 00:15:46,926 --> 00:15:49,096 Both these machines need toner. 453 00:15:49,262 --> 00:15:52,182 They need... I'm gonna put the toner in the... 454 00:15:52,348 --> 00:15:53,600 in the machine. 455 00:15:53,766 --> 00:15:54,905 Mrs. Miller, I told you, 456 00:15:55,030 --> 00:15:56,874 I will get Nick to his flight on time. 457 00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:58,188 No worries. 458 00:15:58,354 --> 00:15:59,960 I can't find Elvin. I've looked everywhere. 459 00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:01,796 - I-I have no idea. - Uh, you know what? 460 00:16:01,921 --> 00:16:04,098 I got to go. Um, I'm sure he's around here somewhere. 461 00:16:04,223 --> 00:16:05,599 - We'll find him. - Elvin! 462 00:16:05,724 --> 00:16:07,968 I'll tell you what, you go that way, I'll go that way. 463 00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:11,305 - This is Schmidt's fault. I don't know how, but it is. - Elvin? 464 00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:13,037 I'm sorry, Jess, I just... 465 00:16:13,203 --> 00:16:15,142 I don't want to slow down... with you. 466 00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:17,561 It's just not natural. So if you need to, 467 00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:20,419 then... I don't think I can do this anymore. 468 00:16:23,576 --> 00:16:26,091 Okay. 469 00:16:26,257 --> 00:16:27,571 Come on, Paul! 470 00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:28,939 It's Christmas! 471 00:16:29,064 --> 00:16:30,908 - Don't break up with her... - Hey, Nick... 472 00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,460 It's okay. 473 00:16:34,432 --> 00:16:36,894 Hey, have you guys seen a little kid running around here? 474 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,243 Thank you. 475 00:16:51,266 --> 00:16:54,036 Ah. I see you found Santa's house. 476 00:16:54,202 --> 00:16:55,662 I was looking for it. 477 00:16:55,828 --> 00:16:57,915 The man with no shirt killed Santa. 478 00:16:58,081 --> 00:16:59,875 Oh, you mean Schmidt. 479 00:17:00,041 --> 00:17:01,651 Well, he was just dressing up like Santa. 480 00:17:01,776 --> 00:17:03,462 Then why didn't he have a shirt? 481 00:17:03,628 --> 00:17:06,131 You know, we ask ourselves that question every single day. 482 00:17:06,297 --> 00:17:09,009 Is it because he's a D-bag? Mommy says he's a D-bag. 483 00:17:09,175 --> 00:17:10,911 You know something? 484 00:17:11,036 --> 00:17:13,055 You're a really smart kid. 485 00:17:13,221 --> 00:17:15,057 And for that, Santa's gonna bring you 486 00:17:15,223 --> 00:17:16,350 extra presents this year. 487 00:17:16,516 --> 00:17:17,667 - Really? - Yeah. 488 00:17:17,792 --> 00:17:19,436 Thank you, LeBron. 489 00:17:20,679 --> 00:17:22,606 Okay, cool, I'll be him. 490 00:17:22,772 --> 00:17:23,649 You found him! 491 00:17:23,815 --> 00:17:24,999 - Yeah. - Hi! 492 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:27,778 Extra gifts this year. 493 00:17:27,944 --> 00:17:30,364 You're really good at this. Seriously. 494 00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:32,991 If you ever want to hang out with Elvin again... 495 00:17:33,157 --> 00:17:35,244 I will pay you a lot of money. 496 00:17:35,410 --> 00:17:36,937 Let's go. 497 00:17:37,062 --> 00:17:38,388 A lot. 498 00:17:38,513 --> 00:17:39,606 Thank you. 499 00:17:39,731 --> 00:17:41,542 Like, whatever you're thinking, 500 00:17:41,708 --> 00:17:43,560 add money to that... 'cause that's what I... 501 00:17:43,685 --> 00:17:45,170 Like, a lot. 502 00:17:45,336 --> 00:17:46,171 Bye, Elvin. 503 00:17:46,337 --> 00:17:47,981 Bye, LeBron. 504 00:17:48,106 --> 00:17:49,341 Yep. 505 00:17:53,445 --> 00:17:55,430 What up, Mrs. Miller? 506 00:17:55,596 --> 00:17:57,457 Yes, yes. Actually, we're on our way right now, 507 00:17:57,582 --> 00:17:59,017 so just go back to sleep. 508 00:17:59,183 --> 00:18:00,769 We're getting Nick to the airport, okay? 509 00:18:00,935 --> 00:18:03,453 What kind of airline has flights that leave at 4 a.m.? 510 00:18:03,653 --> 00:18:04,853 Probably the kind that I can afford. 511 00:18:05,457 --> 00:18:06,833 Actually, what's that smell? 512 00:18:06,958 --> 00:18:08,835 - It's nothing. Oh. - That's my perfume. 513 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,670 Oh, God, that is bad. 514 00:18:10,795 --> 00:18:12,556 But the weird kind of bad 515 00:18:12,681 --> 00:18:14,882 that makes you want to smell it again. 516 00:18:19,604 --> 00:18:22,791 Okay, there's something that we got to do. Sorry. 517 00:18:23,024 --> 00:18:25,402 What are you doing, man! 518 00:18:25,527 --> 00:18:28,755 Hold on, you're going in the wrong direction! 519 00:18:30,865 --> 00:18:32,909 I think we're too late, Nick. 520 00:18:33,034 --> 00:18:35,362 Yeah, this was supposed to be your gift, Jess. 521 00:18:35,487 --> 00:18:36,947 I screwed it up. 522 00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:38,348 I'm sorry. 523 00:18:42,193 --> 00:18:44,871 Candy Cane Lane is shut down! 524 00:18:44,996 --> 00:18:47,007 Should've got her perfume, man. 525 00:18:47,132 --> 00:18:48,382 Nice, man. 526 00:18:53,254 --> 00:18:54,381 Man. 527 00:18:54,506 --> 00:18:55,657 Yeah. 528 00:18:55,823 --> 00:18:58,926 I have the worst timing. 529 00:19:00,678 --> 00:19:03,180 I'm always in the wrong place at the wrong time. 530 00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:06,893 Let's go. 531 00:19:07,018 --> 00:19:09,153 - We should go. - No, we don't... 532 00:19:10,355 --> 00:19:11,673 Jess, no. 533 00:19:11,839 --> 00:19:12,949 It's Christmas. It's our Christmas. 534 00:19:13,074 --> 00:19:15,068 We came here to see the lights. 535 00:19:15,193 --> 00:19:17,988 Well, what are we gonna do? 536 00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:20,766 - Yeah, what are you doing? - What are you doing? 537 00:19:20,932 --> 00:19:22,959 - Nick, man it's 2:00 a.m. - Why would they turn them off? 538 00:19:23,084 --> 00:19:24,436 - It doesn't make sense to me. - Nick! 539 00:19:24,602 --> 00:19:26,112 We don't got time for this. 540 00:19:26,237 --> 00:19:27,439 Excuse me, guys? 541 00:19:27,605 --> 00:19:28,523 Oh, hell, no! 542 00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:29,799 Excuse me, we got a girl out here 543 00:19:29,924 --> 00:19:30,859 who'd really like to see the lights! 544 00:19:31,075 --> 00:19:33,278 Sorry to wake you! This is rude! 545 00:19:33,444 --> 00:19:35,864 Make it the Candy Cane Lane or whatever! 546 00:19:36,030 --> 00:19:38,458 You spend all this time to show off and do it, 547 00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:40,202 so show off... you got an audience! 548 00:19:40,368 --> 00:19:42,037 This whole neighborhood is ridiculous! 549 00:19:42,203 --> 00:19:44,623 You all show off, so turn on the lights! 550 00:19:44,789 --> 00:19:48,669 Just go in the shed or whatever and turn your damn lights on, you show-offs! 551 00:19:48,835 --> 00:19:49,686 - Turn on your lights! - Turn on the lights! 552 00:19:49,811 --> 00:19:51,922 Turn on your lights! 553 00:19:53,423 --> 00:19:55,717 - Lights! - Turn on your lights! 554 00:19:55,883 --> 00:19:57,959 - Turn on your lights! - Turn on your lights! 555 00:19:58,084 --> 00:20:00,829 Turn on your lights! 556 00:20:00,954 --> 00:20:03,600 ♪ I'll be home ♪ Turn on the lights, everybody! 557 00:20:03,766 --> 00:20:07,938 ♪ For Christmas ♪ 558 00:20:08,161 --> 00:20:10,138 ♪ You ♪ 559 00:20:10,263 --> 00:20:12,859 ♪ Can count ♪ 560 00:20:13,232 --> 00:20:14,194 ♪ On me ♪ - Oh! - Oh! 561 00:20:16,602 --> 00:20:18,407 ♪ Please ♪ 562 00:20:18,573 --> 00:20:20,492 ♪ Have snow ♪ 563 00:20:20,658 --> 00:20:24,017 ♪ And mistletoe ♪ 564 00:20:24,142 --> 00:20:26,707 ♪ And presents ♪ 565 00:20:26,979 --> 00:20:30,002 ♪ On the tree ♪ Oh, my God! 566 00:20:30,248 --> 00:20:32,792 Yes! Yes! 567 00:20:32,917 --> 00:20:36,008 ♪ Christmas Eve ♪ 568 00:20:36,174 --> 00:20:38,865 ♪ Will find ♪ 569 00:20:38,990 --> 00:20:41,000 ♪ Me ♪ 570 00:20:41,125 --> 00:20:43,136 ♪ Where ♪ 571 00:20:43,261 --> 00:20:44,871 ♪ The love light ♪ Merry Christmas! 572 00:20:44,996 --> 00:20:46,705 ♪ Gleams ♪ Merry Christmas, boys! 573 00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:48,007 Merry Christmas, everyone! 574 00:20:48,132 --> 00:20:49,308 Merry Hanukkah! 575 00:20:49,433 --> 00:20:51,176 ♪ I'll ♪ 576 00:20:51,301 --> 00:20:52,399 - ♪ Be home ♪ - Merry Christmas. 577 00:20:52,565 --> 00:20:55,947 - ♪ For Christmas ♪ - Merry Christmas! 578 00:20:56,072 --> 00:20:58,549 Now, stop yelling before I call the cops! 579 00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,085 Oh, my God. 580 00:21:00,210 --> 00:21:03,178 ♪ My dreams... ♪ 581 00:21:06,283 --> 00:21:08,826 Candy Cane Lane is the crème de la crème 582 00:21:08,951 --> 00:21:11,228 - of decorated streets. - It is... amazing. 583 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,798 Hey, Ma! How are you? 584 00:21:13,923 --> 00:21:16,901 Yeah. No, I'm gonna miss my flight. 585 00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:18,335 Yeah, I'm sorry. No. 586 00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:21,038 Ma, stop yelling at me, please stop yelling. 587 00:21:21,163 --> 00:21:22,739 Ma, I'm not high! Stop yelling! 588 00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:24,540 I'm driving a car. I can't talk. 589 00:21:24,665 --> 00:21:26,308 Hey, remember Winston? 590 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:27,877 Winston, it's my ma. Talk to her. 591 00:21:28,002 --> 00:21:29,412 Hey, what up, Mrs. Miller? 592 00:21:29,537 --> 00:21:30,746 You know, I wrote a poem about you. 593 00:21:30,871 --> 00:21:32,806 You want to hear it? 594 00:21:32,931 --> 00:21:39,526 Sync by Mlmlte, Corrected by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com WEB-DL by <3 AWiNTER <3