1 00:00:01,248 --> 00:00:02,448 Nick, go out ten yards, cut left. 2 00:00:02,516 --> 00:00:03,850 Winston, go long, post right. 3 00:00:03,918 --> 00:00:06,317 Jess, go down, out towards the parking lot. 4 00:00:06,384 --> 00:00:07,619 Get in the car. We'll meet you back at the loft. 5 00:00:08,187 --> 00:00:10,822 Oh, very funny. You're a comedian, Schmidt. 6 00:00:14,491 --> 00:00:15,492 Hike! 7 00:00:18,097 --> 00:00:20,131 Schmidt! Come on! 8 00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:24,167 - Oh! - Did you see that? 9 00:00:24,235 --> 00:00:26,770 - Are you okay? - Yes, I'm oka-- 10 00:00:26,838 --> 00:00:28,605 What is going on? 11 00:00:28,672 --> 00:00:30,841 - Nick... Nick, I'm so sorry. - Oh, my God! 12 00:00:30,908 --> 00:00:32,209 This is real! 13 00:00:32,276 --> 00:00:34,277 - Probably your lateral sizer. - Shut up! 14 00:00:34,345 --> 00:00:37,180 - Can you just... - Okay, let's go. 15 00:00:37,248 --> 00:00:39,615 - Rotator cuff? - Can I...? 16 00:00:39,682 --> 00:00:40,983 - What do you need? - Nothing from you. 17 00:00:41,051 --> 00:00:42,351 Please go far from me right now. 18 00:00:42,418 --> 00:00:43,986 I can taste my spine. 19 00:00:44,054 --> 00:00:46,188 Three or four down there-- vertebrae. 20 00:00:46,256 --> 00:00:47,757 Why is no one helping me? 21 00:00:47,824 --> 00:00:50,392 Not you! Not you! 22 00:00:50,460 --> 00:00:53,462 ♪ Hey, girl ♪ 23 00:00:53,529 --> 00:00:55,563 ♪ What you doing? ♪ 24 00:00:55,631 --> 00:00:58,599 ♪ Hey, girl ♪ 25 00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:01,636 ♪ Where you going? ♪ 26 00:01:01,703 --> 00:01:03,972 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ 27 00:01:04,039 --> 00:01:05,706 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ 28 00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,076 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ ♪ It's Jess. ♪ 29 00:01:07,077 --> 00:01:12,747 Sync by Alice | www.addic7ed.com 30 00:01:13,983 --> 00:01:15,482 Are you sure you're okay? 31 00:01:16,049 --> 00:01:17,517 You're walking like a Disney witch. 32 00:01:17,585 --> 00:01:18,685 Let me drive you to your doctor. 33 00:01:18,753 --> 00:01:19,920 I don't have a doctor. 34 00:01:19,988 --> 00:01:21,188 I don't have insurance. 35 00:01:21,256 --> 00:01:22,923 Nick, you need to see a doctor, 36 00:01:22,991 --> 00:01:25,159 if only to make sure that your junk is clean. 37 00:01:25,226 --> 00:01:27,459 - I don't go to doctors. - I'll take you to my friend Sadie. 38 00:01:27,527 --> 00:01:29,295 She'll just look at you-- she won't charge you. 39 00:01:29,362 --> 00:01:30,763 Okay, I don't go to doctors! 40 00:01:30,831 --> 00:01:32,398 Are you sure you're okay driving? 41 00:01:32,465 --> 00:01:34,333 Yes, I'm fine. I've never been better. 42 00:01:38,570 --> 00:01:39,705 I feel better already. 43 00:01:40,273 --> 00:01:41,174 See you guys back at the loft. 44 00:01:41,241 --> 00:01:42,674 Oh, my God! 45 00:01:42,741 --> 00:01:44,309 Oh! 46 00:01:44,376 --> 00:01:46,377 - What did you just...?! - I'm okay. 47 00:01:46,445 --> 00:01:48,680 - I'm okay. Don't worry. - Oh! What did you do? 48 00:01:48,747 --> 00:01:50,615 You hit my car! 49 00:01:50,683 --> 00:01:51,983 I'm okay. 50 00:01:52,051 --> 00:01:53,685 Oh, Winston, relax. 51 00:01:53,752 --> 00:01:55,253 Okay? Relax. 52 00:01:55,321 --> 00:01:56,888 That's all I did. I did this. 53 00:01:56,956 --> 00:01:58,588 The rest was already there. 54 00:01:58,656 --> 00:02:00,557 Actually, I think I undid a dent there. 55 00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:02,960 I'm taking you to see my friend. Get in my car. 56 00:02:03,028 --> 00:02:04,328 - No... Jess, no. Oh! - Now! 57 00:02:04,395 --> 00:02:06,430 So she's fitting us in between patients. 58 00:02:18,507 --> 00:02:19,475 Jess? 59 00:02:19,643 --> 00:02:21,211 Is Sadie a gynecologist? 60 00:02:21,278 --> 00:02:23,279 No, she's an OB/GYN. 61 00:02:23,347 --> 00:02:24,981 - I'm going to go. - It's a different thing. 62 00:02:25,049 --> 00:02:26,583 I'm going to get out of here, actually, I think. 63 00:02:26,584 --> 00:02:28,651 Yeah? I don't think you are. 64 00:02:31,254 --> 00:02:34,122 Nick, she's a wizard with a speculum. 65 00:02:34,190 --> 00:02:36,691 - Nick! - I don't have a vagina. 66 00:02:36,759 --> 00:02:37,993 You can take mine. 67 00:02:38,061 --> 00:02:39,661 I heard that, sister. 68 00:02:40,229 --> 00:02:41,696 True dat. 69 00:02:41,764 --> 00:02:43,265 Okay, you know what, Nick? 70 00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:45,133 I'm sorry that my only doctor friend 71 00:02:45,201 --> 00:02:47,101 is a gynecologist, 72 00:02:47,169 --> 00:02:48,535 but you're broke, so you're 73 00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:50,338 going to have to shut your mouth, 74 00:02:50,405 --> 00:02:51,839 and you're going to tag the things 75 00:02:51,907 --> 00:02:53,674 that you want in this Lucky magazine. 76 00:02:53,742 --> 00:02:55,542 We're gonna have to put this baby to bed. - No. 77 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:56,844 No, no, no, Sherman, look, uh, 78 00:02:56,912 --> 00:02:58,379 I don't think you understand, man. 79 00:02:58,446 --> 00:02:59,981 This car's been with me through everything, 80 00:03:00,048 --> 00:03:02,048 so... if you could just fix it. 81 00:03:02,116 --> 00:03:05,051 This is not really officially a car anymore. 82 00:03:05,119 --> 00:03:07,220 You didn't even buy the thing-- it was given to you 83 00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:08,321 as an illegal recruitment gift from 84 00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:09,890 a college you didn't even go to. 85 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:11,424 - Things happened in this car. - Like what? 86 00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,626 - Desert Storm? - Oh, things happened. 87 00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:15,295 Is this your car? 88 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,497 Yeah. 89 00:03:19,198 --> 00:03:20,032 Cool. 90 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,034 Any time. 91 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:23,735 It's time for you to buy a new car, man. 92 00:03:23,803 --> 00:03:25,437 - You buy a new car! - I bought a new car. 93 00:03:25,505 --> 00:03:27,739 It's what you borrow every morning when this one 94 00:03:27,807 --> 00:03:29,375 makes the weird sound. 95 00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:34,545 - That's not a good sound. - Just give me the keys. 96 00:03:34,613 --> 00:03:36,147 You shouldn't call them keys. 97 00:03:36,215 --> 00:03:37,548 It's a paperclip that you start the car with. 98 00:03:41,353 --> 00:03:43,854 See, that was the noise I was talking you about. 99 00:03:43,923 --> 00:03:46,124 Shut up. 100 00:03:46,191 --> 00:03:47,858 You know you don't have to sit like that. 101 00:03:48,427 --> 00:03:50,493 It's the only way that it feels okay, Jess. 102 00:03:51,061 --> 00:03:52,129 - Jess! - Sadie. 103 00:03:52,196 --> 00:03:54,531 Hey. Hey. How are you? 104 00:03:54,598 --> 00:03:56,333 Good. How are you? Hey, good to see you again, Nick. 105 00:03:56,401 --> 00:03:57,968 Hey. Hi. 106 00:03:58,036 --> 00:04:00,137 We were playing football, and I tackled him. 107 00:04:00,204 --> 00:04:02,205 Oh. Well, that's not exactly how I saw it. 108 00:04:02,273 --> 00:04:04,474 Oh, I'm surprised you got hurt. You're such a big boy. 109 00:04:04,542 --> 00:04:05,875 Jess tackled a girl 110 00:04:05,943 --> 00:04:07,443 - I was dating once. - Oh, yeah. 111 00:04:07,510 --> 00:04:08,978 She tried to steal my overalls. 112 00:04:09,046 --> 00:04:10,913 Okay, so... does that hurt? 113 00:04:10,981 --> 00:04:12,281 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yes! - All right. 114 00:04:12,349 --> 00:04:13,582 Does that hurt? 115 00:04:13,650 --> 00:04:14,951 All right. He can flip over. 116 00:04:15,018 --> 00:04:16,752 Okay. 117 00:04:19,288 --> 00:04:20,489 So... listen. 118 00:04:20,557 --> 00:04:23,925 This is not an official examination, 119 00:04:23,993 --> 00:04:25,393 and I am not officially telling you 120 00:04:25,461 --> 00:04:26,962 that you bruised your spine, 121 00:04:27,029 --> 00:04:28,263 and I am not officially 122 00:04:28,331 --> 00:04:29,730 giving you these pills 123 00:04:29,798 --> 00:04:31,766 - to manage the pain. - Okay. 124 00:04:34,069 --> 00:04:35,068 So... 125 00:04:35,569 --> 00:04:36,837 please don't take those pills. 126 00:04:36,904 --> 00:04:38,672 - Take the pills. - Don't take those pills. 127 00:04:38,739 --> 00:04:39,707 Take the pills. 128 00:04:39,739 --> 00:04:40,707 Nobody prescribed them. 129 00:04:40,708 --> 00:04:41,976 - Take them. Take them. - Why would you take them? 130 00:04:42,043 --> 00:04:43,777 - No. That's bad. - That's a code. Take them. 131 00:04:43,778 --> 00:04:44,411 That means do it. 132 00:04:44,479 --> 00:04:46,480 Don't do that. No... 133 00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:48,315 Those are designed for severe menstrual cramps, 134 00:04:48,883 --> 00:04:50,884 so they should cure your baby back ache. 135 00:04:51,952 --> 00:04:53,319 "Baby backache." 136 00:04:53,521 --> 00:04:54,855 Wait. Stop. 137 00:04:56,022 --> 00:04:57,656 Hey, take another sip of water. 138 00:05:03,464 --> 00:05:05,531 - Yeah, um... - What? What's wrong? 139 00:05:05,599 --> 00:05:07,165 No, it's your thyroid. I noticed something 140 00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:08,701 while you were swallowing. Do you mind if I...? 141 00:05:08,768 --> 00:05:10,135 I mean, I don't know what choice I have. 142 00:05:10,203 --> 00:05:12,204 - Do it, Nick! - Okay, Jess. Stop. 143 00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:13,771 Yeah, he has a growth. 144 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,308 Oh, my God. 145 00:05:16,376 --> 00:05:18,110 - A growth. - Oh, no. 146 00:05:18,177 --> 00:05:19,878 - Everything works. I can swallow. - Oh, my God. 147 00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,313 Everything's fine. I know what you're talking about. 148 00:05:21,381 --> 00:05:23,315 - You knew about this? - Yes. 149 00:05:23,383 --> 00:05:25,250 - So you've had it checked out? - No, no, I don't... 150 00:05:25,318 --> 00:05:27,251 I don't have that stuff checked out. I'm fine. 151 00:05:27,319 --> 00:05:28,585 I can set up an ultrasound tomorrow morning, 152 00:05:28,653 --> 00:05:29,953 first thing-- I've got a friend. 153 00:05:30,022 --> 00:05:31,389 I can't really afford an ultrasound, but... 154 00:05:31,936 --> 00:05:33,490 - You're going to have to, so... - Yeah. 155 00:05:33,558 --> 00:05:35,326 All right. So I'll set that up? 156 00:05:35,394 --> 00:05:37,194 - Absolutely. - Right. Right. 157 00:05:37,262 --> 00:05:40,031 Make sure he goes, Jess. 158 00:05:40,098 --> 00:05:42,065 - Don't look at me like that, Jess. - It's probably nothing. 159 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,333 Yeah, it's nothing. 160 00:05:45,535 --> 00:05:46,668 Oh, God. 161 00:05:48,472 --> 00:05:50,206 Put the baby's head at the bottom. 162 00:06:00,123 --> 00:06:01,757 I'm not going to go tomorrow. 163 00:06:01,825 --> 00:06:03,259 I'd rather not, because I don't want 164 00:06:03,327 --> 00:06:04,727 to get an ultrasound. 165 00:06:04,795 --> 00:06:06,262 I just don't have time. 166 00:06:06,330 --> 00:06:08,331 No, I've got some writing I got to do. 167 00:06:08,399 --> 00:06:10,999 The truth is, with working out, I've got some people to see, 168 00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:12,401 so I just can't make it. 169 00:06:12,468 --> 00:06:13,802 I lost a stamp. 170 00:06:14,369 --> 00:06:15,237 It sounds worse than it is, 171 00:06:15,305 --> 00:06:17,172 but it's a somewhat expensive stamp 172 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:18,940 and I had planned on looking for it. 173 00:06:19,508 --> 00:06:21,109 One of the reasons I moved to Los Angeles 174 00:06:21,177 --> 00:06:23,778 was to get closer to whales, so I can record them. 175 00:06:23,846 --> 00:06:25,347 I haven't gotten around to it 176 00:06:25,415 --> 00:06:27,014 because where we live is actually east. 177 00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:28,482 It's way farther from the ocean than I expected. 178 00:06:28,550 --> 00:06:29,850 I appreciate your concern. 179 00:06:29,918 --> 00:06:32,152 It is really sweet. It's nice. 180 00:06:33,221 --> 00:06:34,788 But this machine's still kicking, you know? 181 00:06:34,856 --> 00:06:36,023 You're going. 182 00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:37,491 And I know your scared, 183 00:06:37,559 --> 00:06:38,759 but you know what my mom 184 00:06:38,827 --> 00:06:40,094 used to do when I got scared? 185 00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:41,929 A Daffy Duck impression. 186 00:06:41,996 --> 00:06:43,230 Please don't do what you're about to do. 187 00:06:43,297 --> 00:06:45,732 Hey, Nicholas. 188 00:06:45,799 --> 00:06:47,734 I'm sorry you have a lump in your throat. 189 00:06:47,801 --> 00:06:49,336 That's despicable! 190 00:06:51,705 --> 00:06:52,672 Sorry. Too much? 191 00:06:55,642 --> 00:06:56,175 Okay. 192 00:06:56,244 --> 00:06:58,510 - I got to go to work. - I'll come with you. 193 00:06:58,578 --> 00:06:59,545 Oh, absolutely not. 194 00:06:59,613 --> 00:07:01,547 - I'll just sit by the bar. - No way. 195 00:07:07,153 --> 00:07:09,987 You told them, Jess? Really, it's not a big deal. 196 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,356 - Don't tell them. - We're just hanging out. 197 00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:14,592 With my best friend. 198 00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:16,427 Come on, Schmidt. What are you do...? 199 00:07:18,731 --> 00:07:21,065 You just Fredo-kiss me? What's your problem? 200 00:07:21,133 --> 00:07:22,367 Go sit down. 201 00:07:22,934 --> 00:07:23,734 You're going to beat this, man. 202 00:07:23,801 --> 00:07:25,034 I don't have anything. 203 00:07:25,102 --> 00:07:26,870 What is going on with you guys? 204 00:07:26,937 --> 00:07:27,904 Thanks for telling them. 205 00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,377 I take those, too-- 206 00:07:33,444 --> 00:07:35,211 when I got a heavy flow. 207 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:36,680 Good to know. 208 00:07:36,748 --> 00:07:38,448 - Hey. - Hey. 209 00:07:39,516 --> 00:07:40,149 So I heard. 210 00:07:40,216 --> 00:07:41,850 Of course you did. 211 00:07:41,918 --> 00:07:43,852 Can I get a vodka soda? 212 00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:46,221 Thank you. You being normal... 213 00:07:46,290 --> 00:07:48,056 - Vodka soda. - Okay. 214 00:07:48,124 --> 00:07:50,359 It's because he refuses to wear a Bluetooth. You know that. 215 00:07:50,427 --> 00:07:52,395 I gave him one for his birthday, too, 216 00:07:52,462 --> 00:07:54,163 but he just laughed in my face. 217 00:07:54,230 --> 00:07:55,930 Gave it back to me for Hanukkah. 218 00:07:55,998 --> 00:07:57,632 Well, according to this Web site, 219 00:07:57,700 --> 00:08:00,402 it could be a colloid nodule. 220 00:08:00,469 --> 00:08:03,371 But that's most common in golden retrievers. 221 00:08:03,439 --> 00:08:05,106 I thought my lifestyle choices would rub off on him. 222 00:08:05,174 --> 00:08:06,808 I tried to set a good example. 223 00:08:06,875 --> 00:08:08,410 Treat your body like a temple. 224 00:08:08,477 --> 00:08:10,244 Treat your body like a temple. 225 00:08:10,813 --> 00:08:12,112 But he treats his like a dump. 226 00:08:12,180 --> 00:08:13,314 Like a dump! 227 00:08:13,381 --> 00:08:15,382 Let me see this. 228 00:08:15,450 --> 00:08:16,784 Oh, my God. 229 00:08:16,851 --> 00:08:18,018 Hey, hey. 230 00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:19,353 My friends. 231 00:08:19,421 --> 00:08:20,654 Can I just say 232 00:08:20,722 --> 00:08:22,656 that these pills are amazing? 233 00:08:23,724 --> 00:08:25,459 I feel, like, really warm in my uterus. 234 00:08:25,527 --> 00:08:26,993 Oh! I feel good. 235 00:08:27,061 --> 00:08:29,662 Feel real good. 236 00:08:29,730 --> 00:08:31,130 What's with the long faces? 237 00:08:31,698 --> 00:08:32,665 Schmidt? 238 00:08:32,733 --> 00:08:34,701 Just looking at you and your beautiful soul. 239 00:08:34,768 --> 00:08:36,869 Big, strong Nick. 240 00:08:36,937 --> 00:08:38,471 - He's a champ. - I wish I could trade 241 00:08:38,539 --> 00:08:39,972 places with you, 'cause you know what, Nick? 242 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,708 I would do it in a second. 243 00:08:43,043 --> 00:08:44,576 But I'm also glad that I can't. 244 00:08:44,644 --> 00:08:47,111 Okay, what is going on with you three? 245 00:08:47,179 --> 00:08:48,580 Oh, God. Jess? 246 00:08:49,048 --> 00:08:50,915 - Oh, God. - Hey, are you okay? 247 00:08:50,983 --> 00:08:52,417 You're gonna freak him out. You're gonna freak him out. 248 00:08:52,485 --> 00:08:54,052 - You're freaking everybody out. - Why are you crying? 249 00:08:54,119 --> 00:08:55,987 - Schmidt, are you crying? - 'Cause you're not helping. 250 00:08:56,055 --> 00:08:57,989 'Cause you're making me cry with your emotion. 251 00:08:59,458 --> 00:09:01,425 Really, Winston? You? 252 00:09:01,493 --> 00:09:02,693 It's just that I love you so much, man. 253 00:09:02,761 --> 00:09:04,294 Stop it. Enough. 254 00:09:04,363 --> 00:09:07,130 Hey, I'm fine. Just stop it. 255 00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:08,632 How do you know you're fine, Nick? 256 00:09:13,037 --> 00:09:15,938 Is that... would that be where... in my neck? 257 00:09:20,077 --> 00:09:21,110 Hmm. 258 00:09:23,381 --> 00:09:24,714 - I'm not going to lie. - Mm-hmm. 259 00:09:24,782 --> 00:09:26,850 I think the pills are on top of me a little bit. 260 00:09:27,417 --> 00:09:28,918 I think you're right. 261 00:09:28,986 --> 00:09:30,987 It's so sad. 262 00:09:31,054 --> 00:09:32,421 Yeah, it's really sad your friend's getting 263 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:33,889 an ultrasound tomorrow. 264 00:09:34,956 --> 00:09:36,492 It's just so hard. 265 00:09:39,962 --> 00:09:41,830 Are you using your best friend's medical crisis 266 00:09:41,898 --> 00:09:43,599 to feel my boobs with your face? 267 00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,000 Why isn't the whole world 268 00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:46,802 making love all at the same time? 269 00:09:47,370 --> 00:09:48,903 How many... 270 00:09:48,970 --> 00:09:51,472 ears does Daniel Boone have? 271 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:53,574 He's got a... a right ear, 272 00:09:53,642 --> 00:09:56,277 a left ear and a... front ear. 273 00:09:56,344 --> 00:09:57,478 "Frontier." Get it? 274 00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:02,216 You don't get to speak at my funeral. 275 00:10:03,284 --> 00:10:04,551 - What? - For sure. 276 00:10:04,619 --> 00:10:07,086 - 100%. - What? Why? 277 00:10:07,154 --> 00:10:09,589 - Because of that joke. - Yeah, but... 278 00:10:09,657 --> 00:10:11,391 Jess, you don't want to talk at a funeral. 279 00:10:11,459 --> 00:10:12,659 I've tried that once. 280 00:10:12,727 --> 00:10:14,661 What kind of dummy 281 00:10:14,729 --> 00:10:17,931 fixes a washing machine using a knife? 282 00:10:17,998 --> 00:10:20,466 This kind of dummy! 283 00:10:20,534 --> 00:10:22,000 It did not go well. 284 00:10:22,068 --> 00:10:24,269 I don't want you talking at my funeral! 285 00:10:24,737 --> 00:10:26,371 - Okay. - You can go to my funeral, 286 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:27,673 but you can't talk. 287 00:10:27,741 --> 00:10:29,842 My funeral is my time to shine. 288 00:10:29,910 --> 00:10:31,777 I want the girls to think, 289 00:10:31,845 --> 00:10:33,512 "I wish I brought Nick Miller to orgasm." 290 00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:35,113 And I want the guys to think, 291 00:10:35,181 --> 00:10:36,714 "I wish I bought him more stuff." 292 00:10:36,782 --> 00:10:38,215 And I don't want Daffy Duck voices 293 00:10:38,283 --> 00:10:39,918 and feeling sticks. 294 00:10:39,985 --> 00:10:41,920 You don't... you don't know how to be real. 295 00:10:43,689 --> 00:10:46,925 I can't have you trying to cheer people up. 296 00:10:46,992 --> 00:10:48,827 I know how to be real. 297 00:10:53,497 --> 00:10:55,899 Question: Am I wearing a hat? 298 00:10:55,967 --> 00:10:57,468 Nick Miller. 299 00:10:57,535 --> 00:10:58,769 Almost a lawyer. 300 00:11:02,139 --> 00:11:05,141 ♪ This is a sad song... ♪ 301 00:11:05,709 --> 00:11:06,642 Oh. 302 00:11:06,710 --> 00:11:07,944 Mm. 303 00:11:08,011 --> 00:11:11,447 ♪ This is the saddest song in the world ♪ 304 00:11:11,515 --> 00:11:12,782 Yes, it is. 305 00:11:12,850 --> 00:11:14,083 Mm. 306 00:11:14,650 --> 00:11:15,751 ♪ This is the saddest... ♪ 307 00:11:15,819 --> 00:11:17,186 You just keep singing, man. 308 00:11:17,253 --> 00:11:18,554 Okay. 309 00:11:18,622 --> 00:11:20,623 ♪ This is a sad song ♪ 310 00:11:20,691 --> 00:11:22,291 ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 311 00:11:22,359 --> 00:11:24,659 ♪ Mm-hmm ♪ 312 00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:26,595 ♪ Saddest song in the world ♪ 313 00:11:26,662 --> 00:11:28,229 Got a nice voice, man. 314 00:11:28,297 --> 00:11:30,365 It is so weird being sober right now. 315 00:11:30,432 --> 00:11:31,867 Can I get some weird rapping? 316 00:11:31,934 --> 00:11:33,835 ♪ Nick Miller, Nick Miller ♪ 317 00:11:33,903 --> 00:11:35,837 ♪ From the streets of Chicago ♪ 318 00:11:35,905 --> 00:11:37,706 ♪ 'Cause players play like they do ♪ 319 00:11:37,773 --> 00:11:38,540 ♪ Like they did ♪ 320 00:11:38,608 --> 00:11:40,140 ♪ Mm-hmm ♪ 321 00:11:40,208 --> 00:11:42,209 ♪ Sad song ♪ 322 00:11:42,276 --> 00:11:44,244 ♪ 'Cause the ballers ball and the-- in the hood ♪ 323 00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:45,980 ♪ 'Cause he's Chi-town hustle ♪ 324 00:11:46,047 --> 00:11:47,515 ♪ In the world ♪ That's sounds great. 325 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,016 ♪ 'Cause the people love the-- of Chicago ♪ 326 00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,218 ♪ Represent him, 'cause the players ♪ 327 00:11:51,285 --> 00:11:52,520 ♪ Don't play and the players in the city ♪ 328 00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,287 ♪ Nick Miller, Nick Miller's ♪ 329 00:11:54,355 --> 00:11:55,822 ♪ A stone-cold killer ♪ 330 00:11:55,890 --> 00:11:57,857 ♪ Huh! Sing it, you know, you feel ♪ 331 00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:58,958 ♪ Likes the taste of vanilla ♪ 332 00:11:59,026 --> 00:12:00,192 ♪ Nick Miller, Nick Miller ♪ 333 00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:01,127 ♪ He's the illest of the ill ♪ 334 00:12:01,194 --> 00:12:02,461 Cece's rapping! 335 00:12:02,530 --> 00:12:03,630 ♪ He pours 100 drinks ♪ 336 00:12:03,697 --> 00:12:04,764 ♪ And none have ever spilled ♪ 337 00:12:04,832 --> 00:12:06,032 ♪ Plus he's super-high ♪ 338 00:12:06,099 --> 00:12:07,166 ♪ On a bunch of pain pills ♪ 339 00:12:07,234 --> 00:12:08,401 ♪ His favorite movie is ♪ 340 00:12:08,468 --> 00:12:09,502 ♪ The Big Chill ♪ 341 00:12:09,570 --> 00:12:11,037 ♪ He's got a hairy chest ♪ 342 00:12:11,104 --> 00:12:12,838 ♪ 'Cause he eats a balanced meal ♪ 343 00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:14,272 ♪ Hey, hey ♪ Kickin' mad flavor in his ear. 344 00:12:14,340 --> 00:12:15,774 ♪ Sad song ♪ 345 00:12:15,842 --> 00:12:18,209 ♪ Huh, huh ♪ 346 00:12:18,277 --> 00:12:20,245 ♪ 'Cause the ice in my glass represents ♪ 347 00:12:20,312 --> 00:12:22,614 ♪ The tears from my eyes, I love you, dawg ♪ 348 00:12:22,682 --> 00:12:25,784 ♪ This is a sad song ♪ 349 00:12:25,852 --> 00:12:28,385 ♪ Nick Miller, Nick Miller, yo, streets of Chicago ♪ 350 00:12:28,453 --> 00:12:31,455 ♪ Rough and tumble, one love, you my heart ♪ 351 00:12:31,523 --> 00:12:32,956 ♪ Nick Miller, Nick Miller ♪ 352 00:12:33,024 --> 00:12:34,725 ♪ Never does anything. ♪ 353 00:12:37,029 --> 00:12:38,563 What? 354 00:12:38,630 --> 00:12:40,297 You want me to get real 355 00:12:40,365 --> 00:12:41,933 and stop being all cutesy and whatever, fine. 356 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:43,833 Let's get real. 357 00:12:43,901 --> 00:12:44,734 You don't do anything. 358 00:12:44,802 --> 00:12:45,702 Mm. 359 00:12:45,770 --> 00:12:46,970 What did you want to do? 360 00:12:47,038 --> 00:12:48,237 I mean, isn't there something 361 00:12:48,305 --> 00:12:49,573 you wanted to accomplish? 362 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,441 Hey, I've done things. 363 00:12:51,508 --> 00:12:52,842 I wrote half a book about zombies. 364 00:12:53,710 --> 00:12:54,911 Okay, just tell me. 365 00:12:54,979 --> 00:12:56,880 If you could do anything, 366 00:12:56,948 --> 00:12:58,715 what would you do? 367 00:12:59,283 --> 00:13:02,017 You know, I'm the guy who... I can't just 368 00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:04,152 jump into something if I don't know what's gonna happen. 369 00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:05,554 I never have been that guy. 370 00:13:06,622 --> 00:13:07,322 Like, I'm the, 371 00:13:07,390 --> 00:13:09,558 I'm the guy that, if I don't know 372 00:13:09,626 --> 00:13:11,060 what's gonna happen, I don't do something. 373 00:13:11,127 --> 00:13:13,361 Ever. I don't care how bad I want to do it. 374 00:13:13,429 --> 00:13:14,897 I don't do it. 375 00:13:14,965 --> 00:13:16,831 Like, if everybody would go into the ocean 376 00:13:16,899 --> 00:13:18,200 and jumped in the water, 377 00:13:19,267 --> 00:13:21,168 well, I'm the guy on the beach guarding the wallets. 378 00:13:24,038 --> 00:13:25,640 All right. 379 00:13:29,645 --> 00:13:30,812 - All right, Nick. - All right. 380 00:13:30,879 --> 00:13:32,378 - Get out there. - Yeah. 381 00:13:32,446 --> 00:13:34,047 - I'll hold your wallet. - I don't have a wallet. 382 00:13:34,115 --> 00:13:35,849 All right, well, that's fine. 383 00:13:35,917 --> 00:13:37,985 I have a sandwich bag with my license and money in it. 384 00:13:38,052 --> 00:13:39,419 Okay, I'll hold your sandwich bag. 385 00:13:39,487 --> 00:13:40,787 Get out there, go. 386 00:13:40,855 --> 00:13:43,223 It's a little cold. 387 00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:45,092 Just in terms of running into the water, 388 00:13:45,159 --> 00:13:46,860 it's a tad on the cold side. 389 00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:56,168 Well, you know what, 390 00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:59,304 just... it's just... 391 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:07,946 We all taking our shoes off? 392 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:08,947 What's going on? 393 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,381 I'm a little drunk, 394 00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:12,617 and I can't be too sure, but I think 395 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,686 you're finally about to see your best friend's penis. 396 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,588 Nick-- he's gonna sh-- 397 00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:19,223 he's gonna show his penis to the ocean and not me? 398 00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:20,557 Nick, wait! 399 00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:28,910 I'm alive! 400 00:14:28,978 --> 00:14:30,812 I... am... alive! 401 00:14:36,351 --> 00:14:38,086 I'm alive! 402 00:14:44,492 --> 00:14:47,260 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 403 00:14:47,328 --> 00:14:49,095 This is stupid! 404 00:14:49,663 --> 00:14:51,130 No, it's cold! 405 00:14:51,198 --> 00:14:54,266 My testicles are in my abdomen! 406 00:14:54,334 --> 00:14:55,502 What was I thinking?? 407 00:14:56,870 --> 00:14:58,404 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 408 00:14:58,572 --> 00:15:00,205 Oh, my God! That is so cold! 409 00:15:00,206 --> 00:15:00,947 That is so cold! 410 00:15:00,948 --> 00:15:02,775 Words cannot describe how cold that is! 411 00:15:02,843 --> 00:15:03,843 Nick, are you okay? 412 00:15:03,844 --> 00:15:06,312 No, I'm not okay, Jess! 413 00:15:06,379 --> 00:15:07,979 I'm not okay! 414 00:15:08,047 --> 00:15:09,315 All right, I woke up today 415 00:15:09,382 --> 00:15:11,984 and I wanted to play a friendly game of touch football, 416 00:15:12,052 --> 00:15:14,953 then I hurt my back, and I went to your gynecologist, 417 00:15:15,021 --> 00:15:16,654 and now I might have cancer! 418 00:15:16,723 --> 00:15:18,356 So, no, Jess! 419 00:15:18,424 --> 00:15:20,892 I'm not okay! 420 00:15:28,066 --> 00:15:29,334 I don't think this is the right time 421 00:15:29,401 --> 00:15:32,937 to bring this up, you guys, but... 422 00:15:33,004 --> 00:15:35,139 does anyone else think Nick could stand to lose 423 00:15:35,207 --> 00:15:36,306 five to seven pounds? 424 00:15:52,956 --> 00:15:55,324 You know what I'm thinking about, Ceec? 425 00:15:55,392 --> 00:15:57,194 What, Schmidt? 426 00:15:58,262 --> 00:16:00,930 That when you stand up, 427 00:16:01,998 --> 00:16:04,466 there's gonna be, like, a perfect imprint 428 00:16:04,533 --> 00:16:05,734 of your butt in the sand. 429 00:16:06,302 --> 00:16:07,835 That is what you're thinking about right now 430 00:16:07,903 --> 00:16:09,771 - with your best friend - down the beach 431 00:16:09,838 --> 00:16:11,206 - going through what he's going through? - I know, I know. 432 00:16:11,524 --> 00:16:12,857 Then why would you say that? 433 00:16:12,925 --> 00:16:13,959 I don't know why I would say that. 434 00:16:14,027 --> 00:16:15,693 Why would anyone say that? 435 00:16:15,761 --> 00:16:18,095 I've never gone through anything like this. 436 00:16:18,163 --> 00:16:19,596 Yeah, well, I have. 437 00:16:20,364 --> 00:16:21,965 What happened? 438 00:16:22,034 --> 00:16:24,168 My dad died when I was 12. 439 00:16:25,937 --> 00:16:27,604 That's, um... 440 00:16:27,672 --> 00:16:30,274 The only way to get through it is to get through it. 441 00:16:35,979 --> 00:16:37,547 You know, I had a cat that died... 442 00:16:37,614 --> 00:16:39,082 Don't compare my dad to your cat. 443 00:16:39,150 --> 00:16:40,483 It was a big cat. 444 00:16:40,551 --> 00:16:41,884 I mean, human size. 445 00:16:45,055 --> 00:16:46,923 Hey. 446 00:16:46,990 --> 00:16:48,291 Oh, hey. 447 00:16:48,359 --> 00:16:49,992 Is this seat taken? 448 00:16:50,060 --> 00:16:51,826 Oh, please. 449 00:16:52,394 --> 00:16:54,163 Here, will you help me up? 450 00:16:59,401 --> 00:17:01,002 I know that you're right. 451 00:17:01,071 --> 00:17:03,272 You're right, I have to start doing things. 452 00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:05,207 I can't just... 453 00:17:07,376 --> 00:17:08,443 ...you know. 454 00:17:10,412 --> 00:17:11,848 Jess... 455 00:17:13,212 --> 00:17:14,848 I like you a lot. 456 00:17:15,216 --> 00:17:16,217 I really do. 457 00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:17,618 I'm glad you're around. 458 00:17:23,891 --> 00:17:26,859 I'm not gonna remember any of this in the morning, am I? 459 00:17:26,927 --> 00:17:28,861 Most certainly not. 460 00:17:28,929 --> 00:17:29,896 Oh, no. 461 00:17:30,965 --> 00:17:33,100 Yeah, it's... yeah. 462 00:17:34,902 --> 00:17:36,503 Yeah, we should go home. 463 00:17:36,571 --> 00:17:37,904 Yes. 464 00:17:37,972 --> 00:17:39,838 Let's go home. 465 00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:55,886 Hey. We gotta wake up. 466 00:17:55,954 --> 00:17:57,054 Morning. 467 00:17:57,123 --> 00:17:58,389 What? 468 00:17:59,457 --> 00:18:00,958 Hey, Schmidty! 469 00:18:02,528 --> 00:18:03,828 Wake up, wake up! Everybody, up! 470 00:18:03,895 --> 00:18:05,130 I got that ultrasound thing. 471 00:18:05,197 --> 00:18:07,031 We're late. 472 00:18:12,670 --> 00:18:14,505 What? 473 00:18:21,045 --> 00:18:22,312 Oh... 474 00:18:32,755 --> 00:18:33,789 Hey, Winston. 475 00:18:34,207 --> 00:18:35,191 We're late, man. 476 00:18:37,259 --> 00:18:38,294 Ah, fresh air. 477 00:18:38,295 --> 00:18:39,441 Back to the fume chamber. 478 00:18:39,444 --> 00:18:40,764 Couldn't even sell it for metal. 479 00:18:42,331 --> 00:18:43,798 Hope you didn't get sand in my car. 480 00:18:43,866 --> 00:18:46,735 Yeah, that's this car's problem: too much sand. 481 00:18:47,803 --> 00:18:49,471 Oh, my God, there's soot coming in from the floor. 482 00:18:57,632 --> 00:18:59,733 Hi. Uh, my name is Nick Miller. 483 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,935 I-I have a 9:00 a.m. today. 484 00:19:02,003 --> 00:19:03,970 Fill these out. I'm gonna need a copy 485 00:19:04,039 --> 00:19:05,872 - of your health insurance. - Oh. 486 00:19:05,940 --> 00:19:08,509 I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be paying with cash, actually. 487 00:19:08,576 --> 00:19:11,645 It's a mixture of, uh, paper money and change. 488 00:19:12,212 --> 00:19:13,712 I do have a check that's postdated. 489 00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:16,449 There's a 60/40 shot that's gonna clear. 490 00:19:17,717 --> 00:19:18,884 I hope that's good. 491 00:19:21,922 --> 00:19:23,256 Jess-- oh, yeah. 492 00:19:24,323 --> 00:19:25,391 Do I have to do this now? 493 00:19:33,065 --> 00:19:36,068 How long does it take to tell if someone has cancer? 494 00:19:39,072 --> 00:19:40,805 - Guys. - Hey. 495 00:19:41,373 --> 00:19:42,907 I'm okay. I'm fine. 496 00:19:42,975 --> 00:19:43,808 I'm fine. It's nothing. 497 00:19:43,876 --> 00:19:45,043 Yeah. 498 00:19:45,110 --> 00:19:47,244 What was it? What did they say it was? 499 00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:48,580 I didn't hear anything after they said, 500 00:19:48,647 --> 00:19:50,948 "You don't have cancer." I blanked out. I think it's, 501 00:19:51,015 --> 00:19:53,350 like, a cyst or something. 502 00:19:53,418 --> 00:19:54,885 Ugh. 503 00:19:54,953 --> 00:19:56,187 Stop Fredo-kissing me, Schmidt. 504 00:19:58,873 --> 00:20:00,931 All right, so what do I owe you? 505 00:20:00,932 --> 00:20:01,624 Let's figure this out. 506 00:20:02,192 --> 00:20:02,758 I've got, uh... 507 00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:04,461 It's already taken care of. 508 00:20:04,528 --> 00:20:06,996 What do you mean it's already taken care of? 509 00:20:07,064 --> 00:20:08,565 Oh, we split it. 510 00:20:13,235 --> 00:20:14,170 All right, well, I'll pay you guys back. 511 00:20:14,238 --> 00:20:15,572 I just... 512 00:20:15,639 --> 00:20:17,039 And can you please get a wallet? 513 00:20:17,107 --> 00:20:18,140 I do have a wallet. 514 00:20:19,208 --> 00:20:20,542 A wallet. 515 00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:23,245 I have tons of wallet chains that you can borrow. 516 00:20:30,753 --> 00:20:34,622 ♪ Deep inside the ever-spinning... ♪ 517 00:20:35,439 --> 00:20:36,023 Hey, Jess? 518 00:20:36,091 --> 00:20:37,024 Hmm? 519 00:20:37,092 --> 00:20:38,259 What happened last night? 520 00:20:38,327 --> 00:20:39,860 Nothing. 521 00:20:43,331 --> 00:20:45,898 Come on, come on, come on, come on. 522 00:20:47,701 --> 00:20:49,202 - Let it go, bud. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 523 00:20:49,270 --> 00:20:50,737 - Just got to give it a second. - Bye. 524 00:20:50,804 --> 00:20:51,938 It's cruel at this point. 525 00:20:52,006 --> 00:20:53,373 The car's dead, bud. 526 00:20:58,545 --> 00:21:02,481 ♪ I'll take care of you ♪ 527 00:21:04,717 --> 00:21:09,221 ♪ If you ask me to ♪ 528 00:21:11,625 --> 00:21:19,063 ♪ In a year or two... ♪ 529 00:21:19,131 --> 00:21:21,166 ♪ Oh... ♪ 530 00:21:32,241 --> 00:21:33,376 Don't walk so damn fast. 531 00:21:33,443 --> 00:21:34,344 I'm coming. 532 00:21:34,412 --> 00:21:36,179 Can't a man say good-bye to his car? 533 00:21:36,180 --> 00:21:41,556 Sync by Alice | www.addic7ed.com