1
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:10,367
Hey.
2
00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,707
You're a big girl. You can watch
The Walking Dead alone.
3
00:00:12,738 --> 00:00:13,957
Sam booty-called me.
4
00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,441
Ooh, Sam, he's so hot.
5
00:00:15,459 --> 00:00:16,991
- I don't care. Good night.
- Don't!
6
00:00:17,039 --> 00:00:19,003
- What?
- I need your help.
7
00:00:19,017 --> 00:00:21,020
I don't know what to do.
I'm terrible at casual sex.
8
00:00:21,071 --> 00:00:23,069
I left him in there
with crayons
9
00:00:23,070 --> 00:00:24,607
and paper, like he's a kid
10
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,108
in a restaurant,
and I told him I had to check
11
00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:28,015
- my fantasy football.
- You don't even know what that is.
12
00:00:28,036 --> 00:00:30,082
No, sir, I do not know
what that is.
13
00:00:30,482 --> 00:00:31,783
I panicked. Help me.
14
00:00:31,818 --> 00:00:33,847
Look, you can't separate
your feelings from sex?
15
00:00:34,079 --> 00:00:35,973
So what? You're a girl.
16
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:37,817
I deserve to have a shorty
on the side.
17
00:00:37,841 --> 00:00:39,820
Okay, a shorty is not... that's
the wrong use of "shorty."
18
00:00:40,535 --> 00:00:43,048
- Hey, I drew a cat.
- Uh, sorry, man.
19
00:00:43,075 --> 00:00:45,030
She's, uh, checking her
fantasy football 'cause she...
20
00:00:45,065 --> 00:00:47,087
Yeah, I'm not gonna do this,
so I-I don't even...
21
00:00:47,819 --> 00:00:50,182
- ♪ Who's that girl? ♪
- ♪Who's that girl? ♪
22
00:00:50,232 --> 00:00:51,811
♪ It's Jess. ♪
23
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:55,955
Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
24
00:00:57,262 --> 00:00:58,556
Are we gonna
talk about it?
25
00:00:58,588 --> 00:01:00,207
Talk about what, Winston?
26
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:02,710
The belt, Schmidt.
Please explain the belt.
27
00:01:02,741 --> 00:01:05,407
It's after Labor Day.
I'm wearing whales.
28
00:01:05,453 --> 00:01:07,356
- The dumbest thing ever.
- You look like the bad guy
29
00:01:07,372 --> 00:01:08,619
in an '80s high school movie.
30
00:01:08,661 --> 00:01:11,696
I'll have you guys know
that Kanye wore this belt, okay?
31
00:01:11,715 --> 00:01:13,671
- Kanye.
- Kanye?
32
00:01:13,709 --> 00:01:15,316
Yeah, and he looked
beautiful in it.
33
00:01:15,335 --> 00:01:16,554
His whole midsection lit up.
34
00:01:16,583 --> 00:01:17,802
What is your obsession
with Kanye?
35
00:01:17,826 --> 00:01:19,947
Befriending Kanye
is the most efficient way
36
00:01:19,972 --> 00:01:21,260
for me to jump social strata.
37
00:01:21,292 --> 00:01:22,622
Now all I have to
do is meet him,
38
00:01:22,654 --> 00:01:24,219
and then dazzle him
to the point that we're
39
00:01:24,249 --> 00:01:25,783
each other's last call
before bed.
40
00:01:25,925 --> 00:01:26,945
"Yo, what up, K?
41
00:01:27,290 --> 00:01:28,341
"Yeah, I'm just going to sleep.
42
00:01:32,488 --> 00:01:33,927
You know if your dad's
gonna win the election?
43
00:01:33,952 --> 00:01:35,248
He does look like a Romney.
44
00:01:35,273 --> 00:01:36,448
Telling me that I look like one
45
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:38,433
of the most handsome
men in politics
46
00:01:38,484 --> 00:01:39,733
does not hurt my feelings,
Winston.
47
00:01:39,907 --> 00:01:41,616
Last night was horrible.
48
00:01:41,674 --> 00:01:42,698
Sam came over,
49
00:01:42,737 --> 00:01:45,006
we tried to make out,
I stopped it,
50
00:01:45,018 --> 00:01:46,826
and then we just laid there
51
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:50,357
like two old couple
in The Notebook waiting to die.
52
00:01:50,389 --> 00:01:52,514
Jess, I get it-- you're
the type of person that...
53
00:01:52,893 --> 00:01:54,912
you need to ease
into these kind of things.
54
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,928
- Let us take you out tonight, okay?
- Uh-uh.
55
00:01:56,978 --> 00:01:58,397
And that way, you...
you can feel like,
56
00:01:58,459 --> 00:01:59,941
you know, you're going
on a date first.
57
00:01:59,997 --> 00:02:01,862
Yes! Like we're all dating
58
00:02:01,900 --> 00:02:03,618
in a large, nonsexual
friend group.
59
00:02:03,649 --> 00:02:05,274
My nightmare.
Have fun. I'm out.
60
00:02:05,290 --> 00:02:06,950
Come on, Nick. Please?
61
00:02:06,962 --> 00:02:08,527
Why are you doing this, Jess?
62
00:02:08,675 --> 00:02:10,144
Why don't you just
date a guy that--
63
00:02:10,184 --> 00:02:11,603
I don't know--
you like?
64
00:02:11,634 --> 00:02:12,540
This is good for me.
65
00:02:12,570 --> 00:02:14,339
I always jump
into relationships.
66
00:02:14,377 --> 00:02:15,659
Plus, Sam's not the kind of guy
67
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,730
you spend Saturdays
in your sweatpants with.
68
00:02:18,431 --> 00:02:19,926
He's the kind of guy...
69
00:02:20,025 --> 00:02:21,077
You bone.
70
00:02:21,190 --> 00:02:23,484
I can't help. I'm at a crucial
point in my zombie novel.
71
00:02:23,513 --> 00:02:25,150
- You selfish bastard.
- I'm not a selfish bastard.
72
00:02:25,169 --> 00:02:27,019
- I just have to... I have to get through...
- You're a selfish bastard.
73
00:02:27,034 --> 00:02:29,581
- I'm so sick of this zombie novel nonsense.
- Not nonsense.
74
00:02:29,620 --> 00:02:32,248
Friends help friends
have meaningless sex, okay?
75
00:02:32,372 --> 00:02:33,187
Now, you're going.
76
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:34,789
- End of story.
- You got it.
77
00:02:35,045 --> 00:02:37,480
Where are you, Schmidt?
This place is fancy,
78
00:02:37,504 --> 00:02:39,356
and I don't know which fork
to kill myself with.
79
00:02:39,387 --> 00:02:41,968
I got to bail!
Kanye's at this club tonight.
80
00:02:41,985 --> 00:02:43,942
What are you talking about?
This was your idea.
81
00:02:43,961 --> 00:02:45,626
Can't miss this, Nick.
I got the belt on.
82
00:02:45,652 --> 00:02:47,435
I took Winston with me
to prove that I can be friends
83
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:49,430
with black people,
even oddly shaped ones.
84
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:50,475
Just shut up, Schmidt!
85
00:02:50,495 --> 00:02:51,825
Shut up! This is ridiculous.
86
00:02:51,850 --> 00:02:53,693
I'm leaving right now.
Good-bye.
87
00:02:55,502 --> 00:02:57,109
Whoa.
88
00:02:57,179 --> 00:02:59,579
Wow. I forgot what you look like
89
00:02:59,629 --> 00:03:01,498
when you're not dressed
like the Loft Troll.
90
00:03:01,621 --> 00:03:03,809
- Pardon?
- Sorry, I didn't...
91
00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:07,990
What I mean to say is
you look va-va-va-vavooms!
92
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,230
Hello, nurse!
93
00:03:10,438 --> 00:03:13,570
Hubba-bubba! Meow! Zing!
You can stop me at any time.
94
00:03:13,596 --> 00:03:15,065
- Are the guys coming, or...?
- No.
95
00:03:15,090 --> 00:03:17,084
It's just us-- they bailed--
so if you want to go
96
00:03:17,108 --> 00:03:18,909
back to the loft, or we can both
go back to the loft.
97
00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,992
- We're already here.
- But we're already here, so...
98
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:24,631
Can I get you a chair, milady?
99
00:03:24,657 --> 00:03:26,057
- So weird.
- Yeah.
100
00:03:26,087 --> 00:03:27,508
Loft Troll
101
00:03:27,527 --> 00:03:29,483
not used to fancy gentleman!
102
00:03:29,653 --> 00:03:31,508
- Shut up.
- That was so loud.
103
00:03:31,523 --> 00:03:32,548
Why are you yelling?
104
00:03:34,499 --> 00:03:35,798
On the list.
105
00:03:37,677 --> 00:03:40,684
Winston! You've been staring at
this girl for five minutes.
106
00:03:40,713 --> 00:03:41,666
I hope you're checking her out.
107
00:03:41,684 --> 00:03:42,922
Otherwise, you're
a serial killer,
108
00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:44,431
which would explain a lot.
109
00:03:44,467 --> 00:03:45,375
No. Checking her out?
110
00:03:45,401 --> 00:03:47,131
- No, dude, I'm in a relationship.
- I know.
111
00:03:47,168 --> 00:03:49,193
Like, happily.
Shelby, we're...
112
00:03:49,978 --> 00:03:51,640
Shelby and I haven't
had sex in three weeks.
113
00:03:51,678 --> 00:03:53,661
- For real?
- We're in a bit of a rut.
114
00:03:55,226 --> 00:03:58,238
Not now. I have to
go to the bathroom.
115
00:04:03,030 --> 00:04:04,893
- I'm cheating on Shelby.
- What?
116
00:04:04,929 --> 00:04:06,992
- No, no, in my mind.
- In your mind...?
117
00:04:07,018 --> 00:04:09,260
- I'm cheating on Shelby in my mind, man.
- So what? So what?
118
00:04:09,302 --> 00:04:11,090
What do you mean, "So what?"
I'm doing it all the time.
119
00:04:11,133 --> 00:04:12,802
Like, I'm doing it a lot.
I can't control myself, man.
120
00:04:12,842 --> 00:04:15,228
Listen, everybody does it
every minute all the time.
121
00:04:15,259 --> 00:04:17,072
How do you think I get
through the day, man?
122
00:04:17,125 --> 00:04:19,120
Okay. Wow.
123
00:04:19,165 --> 00:04:21,770
Um, in that case...
124
00:04:21,842 --> 00:04:25,603
Hey, lady, can I
introduce you to...
125
00:04:26,030 --> 00:04:27,780
this lady?
126
00:04:27,803 --> 00:04:30,539
- This place is crazy expensive.
- Schmidt picked it.
127
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,068
I can afford the valet
charge and the "Add onions."
128
00:04:33,612 --> 00:04:37,581
Then you'll be happy to meet
my little Scottish friend.
129
00:04:37,674 --> 00:04:40,635
You unexpected genius.
130
00:04:40,741 --> 00:04:42,304
- Is that whiskey?
- White wine.
131
00:04:42,341 --> 00:04:44,333
White wine?!
132
00:04:44,915 --> 00:04:46,949
Why would you do wine?
133
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:50,689
- Nope.
- All right, my man.
134
00:04:50,735 --> 00:04:52,805
- Not gonna happen.
- Schmidt?
135
00:04:53,295 --> 00:04:54,478
It's the belt, man.
136
00:04:54,509 --> 00:04:55,847
- Take off the belt.
- Okay, the only thing
137
00:04:55,881 --> 00:04:57,881
I know in this world
is this belt is amazing.
138
00:04:58,170 --> 00:04:59,964
Look, if you're gonna
wear that thing, just...
139
00:04:59,982 --> 00:05:01,757
- just make it work for us, okay?
- You got a plan?
140
00:05:01,799 --> 00:05:03,579
Yeah, I got a plan, of course.
141
00:05:03,610 --> 00:05:04,860
All right, go talk
to your peeps.
142
00:05:04,903 --> 00:05:06,735
- It's not my peeps.
- It's your peeps, man. Go talk to them.
143
00:05:06,766 --> 00:05:08,517
- Don't say... don't do this.
- Yeah, man, come on.
144
00:05:08,548 --> 00:05:10,308
- I mean, come on. Really?
- Yeah, word.
145
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,801
We got Tagg Romney out here.
146
00:05:12,826 --> 00:05:14,586
We're gonna need you
to sweep the the perimeter.
147
00:05:14,627 --> 00:05:16,618
What the hell
you talking about?
148
00:05:16,876 --> 00:05:19,236
Tagg Romney.
Pleasure to meet you, sir.
149
00:05:19,273 --> 00:05:21,411
Romney. Like,
Mitt Romney's your dad?
150
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:23,296
Let's get America back to work.
151
00:05:24,562 --> 00:05:27,444
- Here's the thermos.
- Thanks.
152
00:05:27,481 --> 00:05:29,739
You know, the drunker you get,
153
00:05:29,764 --> 00:05:31,761
the more obvious you're being
with the thermos.
154
00:05:31,793 --> 00:05:33,707
"Thermose?" "Thermas?"
155
00:05:33,727 --> 00:05:35,017
I'm sorry.
I don't understand.
156
00:05:35,042 --> 00:05:35,886
What's a "thermoos?"
157
00:05:35,911 --> 00:05:37,583
That one right there
in your hand.
158
00:05:37,606 --> 00:05:40,432
Oh, the "thermase?"
159
00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:42,548
- This is fun.
- This is really fun.
160
00:05:44,575 --> 00:05:45,608
It's Sam.
161
00:05:45,771 --> 00:05:48,253
He's done with work,
and he wants to "hang out."
162
00:05:48,297 --> 00:05:51,021
He's got a job, too?
Poke a hole in that condom.
163
00:05:51,329 --> 00:05:52,808
Thank you, Nick.
164
00:05:52,846 --> 00:05:54,739
I now feel ready
to have meaningless sex.
165
00:05:54,757 --> 00:05:56,976
- I do what I can, so...
- Hey, do you need money for the...?
166
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,591
Half the soup? No,
I think I got it.
167
00:05:58,622 --> 00:06:00,744
Loft Troll eats fancy soup.
168
00:06:00,775 --> 00:06:02,725
Get out of here, would you?
169
00:06:03,581 --> 00:06:05,075
Go have fun.
170
00:06:08,553 --> 00:06:09,853
Excuse me.
171
00:06:09,966 --> 00:06:11,890
Can I get an ice bucket
for this bad boy?
172
00:06:11,949 --> 00:06:15,487
And more than your normal amount
'cause this is a thermos, so...
173
00:06:25,838 --> 00:06:28,420
Ah...
174
00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:29,718
I see what we're doing here.
175
00:06:29,749 --> 00:06:31,716
We're stalking your
ex-girlfriend.
176
00:06:32,101 --> 00:06:33,757
Oh, is Cece here?
177
00:06:34,072 --> 00:06:35,098
Schmidt.
178
00:06:35,154 --> 00:06:37,454
Cece, what up?
179
00:06:37,621 --> 00:06:38,964
So, where's, uh, Blobby?
180
00:06:38,983 --> 00:06:40,527
Where's... where's Blobby?
Where's that dude?
181
00:06:40,558 --> 00:06:43,547
Oh, you mean my boyfriend?
His name's Robby.
182
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:46,783
Excuse me. My friend is too
embarrassed to come over here,
183
00:06:46,803 --> 00:06:49,186
but she said she heard
from someone in line
184
00:06:49,210 --> 00:06:51,576
that you're a Romney.
185
00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,591
- I am...
- She's right over there.
186
00:06:54,838 --> 00:06:55,863
Oh, yeah, I'm a Romney.
187
00:06:55,864 --> 00:06:58,416
- Hell, yeah, I'm a Romney.
- Oh, come on!
188
00:06:58,472 --> 00:07:01,149
- Security, remove the threat. Remove the threat. Code red.
- Is that how bad it is?
189
00:07:01,174 --> 00:07:03,722
- Right this way, ma'am. Come on!
- Hey, that woman is stupid enough to believe...
190
00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:04,645
Code red. Code red.
191
00:07:04,676 --> 00:07:06,294
Winston, I thought
you were better than this.
192
00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:07,190
I'm so sorry.
193
00:07:07,233 --> 00:07:08,862
I am a huge supporter.
194
00:07:08,886 --> 00:07:11,225
In '08, I was the national
cochair of Kappas for Romney.
195
00:07:11,357 --> 00:07:13,099
You caught me. I'm a Romney.
196
00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:15,836
I'm trying to be
incognito, so just...
197
00:07:15,988 --> 00:07:17,065
You're... Tagg?
198
00:07:17,096 --> 00:07:18,613
- Tugg.
- Tugg?
199
00:07:18,648 --> 00:07:20,240
Tugg Romney, yeah.
200
00:07:20,271 --> 00:07:21,553
I'm Tugg Romney.
201
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,597
Tagg's everywhere.
Too much Tagg for me.
202
00:07:23,780 --> 00:07:24,812
Tugg.
203
00:07:27,050 --> 00:07:29,216
Whoo! What a night.
204
00:07:29,581 --> 00:07:30,978
What a crazy night.
205
00:07:31,003 --> 00:07:33,419
Yeah, me, too.
I found a dollar on my way out
206
00:07:33,437 --> 00:07:36,129
of the restaurant. I used it
to buy a slice of pizza.
207
00:07:36,154 --> 00:07:37,448
One day closer to death!
208
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:39,195
Winston, what is
wrong with you?
209
00:07:39,220 --> 00:07:41,912
No. Nothing wrong with me, girl.
I'm just brushing my hair.
210
00:07:41,930 --> 00:07:44,831
I just want to say
that I had meaningless,
211
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:47,089
wonderful sex
last night with Sam.
212
00:07:47,201 --> 00:07:49,164
And that sex would
not have been possible
213
00:07:49,198 --> 00:07:51,670
without the efforts
of a one Nick Miller.
214
00:07:51,707 --> 00:07:53,035
Ugh! But okay.
215
00:07:53,054 --> 00:07:54,233
I don't want to kiss and tell,
216
00:07:54,258 --> 00:07:56,705
but he did ruin my dresser
during intercourse.
217
00:07:56,749 --> 00:07:58,493
Come on!
Why are you saying that?
218
00:07:58,518 --> 00:08:01,265
- Will you go to Ikea with me?
- Sure, I'm not doing anything.
219
00:08:01,346 --> 00:08:03,368
But don't let me lay my eyes
on the Malm collection.
220
00:08:03,557 --> 00:08:05,861
I can't afford it, and I'm
a sucker for it every time.
221
00:08:05,892 --> 00:08:07,840
I'll go get my golf pencils.
222
00:08:08,147 --> 00:08:09,145
Mm-hmm.
223
00:08:09,235 --> 00:08:10,842
If you got something to say,
my man, just say it.
224
00:08:10,894 --> 00:08:13,256
Hey, look, a man can only
sit back and observe
225
00:08:13,287 --> 00:08:16,041
but for so long
before he has to speak his mind.
226
00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:16,970
Then speak your mind.
227
00:08:16,994 --> 00:08:18,864
A line has been crossed,
all right?
228
00:08:18,887 --> 00:08:21,382
You, my friend,
have become her fluffer.
229
00:08:21,748 --> 00:08:22,598
Like in porn?
230
00:08:22,624 --> 00:08:24,216
An emotional fluffer.
231
00:08:24,228 --> 00:08:25,243
I'm an emotional fluffer?
232
00:08:25,345 --> 00:08:27,036
You got to set
some boundaries, all right?
233
00:08:27,073 --> 00:08:28,069
You're gonna start fulfilling
234
00:08:28,099 --> 00:08:30,449
every single need of hers,
all right?
235
00:08:30,473 --> 00:08:32,469
Doing all the things
that a boyfriend would do...
236
00:08:32,561 --> 00:08:35,329
- Winston...
- ...for some other dude who ain't doing nothing.
237
00:08:35,353 --> 00:08:36,816
- And I'm her friend.
- You're her boyfriend.
238
00:08:36,834 --> 00:08:39,053
- No, I'm not her boyfriend.
- You're a boyfriend without the rewards.
239
00:08:39,071 --> 00:08:40,521
How about this?
Why don't you just shut up?
240
00:08:40,575 --> 00:08:41,853
- Hey, Nick, you ready?
- Yeah.
241
00:08:41,910 --> 00:08:44,337
So it's not available
at the closest Ikea,
242
00:08:44,356 --> 00:08:46,385
but it is available at
the second-closest Ikea,
243
00:08:46,418 --> 00:08:48,388
which is about 45 minutes...
244
00:08:48,527 --> 00:08:50,852
if we could drive
over the reservoir.
245
00:08:51,013 --> 00:08:53,040
But we can't, so...
246
00:08:53,060 --> 00:08:55,077
- it's about an hour and a half.
- Cool.
247
00:08:55,373 --> 00:08:58,854
I had so much sex last night.
248
00:08:59,718 --> 00:09:01,630
Fluffer.
249
00:09:02,477 --> 00:09:04,165
- You're gonna get caught.
- Impossible.
250
00:09:04,215 --> 00:09:06,198
I've been studying
Romney trivia all day long.
251
00:09:06,543 --> 00:09:08,992
Memorizing Dad's gestures
so I can mimic him.
252
00:09:09,017 --> 00:09:11,354
You're calling Mitt Romney "Dad"
now? That's where we're at?
253
00:09:11,378 --> 00:09:12,881
- Mm-hmm.
- Schmidt, we get it.
254
00:09:13,377 --> 00:09:14,758
He's the dad you never had.
255
00:09:14,776 --> 00:09:17,476
Okay, all-knowing
Indian god Ganesha,
256
00:09:17,497 --> 00:09:19,193
this is about sex.
257
00:09:19,261 --> 00:09:20,529
You know they have
Romney Olympics
258
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,187
every summer at the lake house?
259
00:09:22,247 --> 00:09:24,016
I bet that's a hoot.
I'm sure it's like
260
00:09:24,046 --> 00:09:26,504
the real Olympics, only the
white people win the sprints.
261
00:09:29,499 --> 00:09:30,887
- Okay, so you good?
- Okay.
262
00:09:30,976 --> 00:09:32,118
Yeah.
263
00:09:33,354 --> 00:09:34,372
Hey, Nick, any chance
264
00:09:34,398 --> 00:09:35,986
you understand
how to put this together?
265
00:09:36,011 --> 00:09:37,661
I think it looks
pretty easy, actually.
266
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,406
No, you know, I'm
actually busy. I'm, uh...
267
00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:41,821
I'm moving money around.
268
00:09:41,822 --> 00:09:43,293
I'm-I'm diversifying.
I've got...
269
00:09:43,337 --> 00:09:45,330
And I'm not your
fluffer, by the way.
270
00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:46,484
What's a fluffer?
271
00:09:46,522 --> 00:09:47,579
In pornography,
272
00:09:47,625 --> 00:09:49,622
it's the person who
keeps the actor...
273
00:09:50,016 --> 00:09:51,758
motivated, aroused, you know?
274
00:09:51,771 --> 00:09:53,360
Ew! That's a job?
275
00:09:53,397 --> 00:09:56,866
And that's what I am.
I'm your emotional fluffer.
276
00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:59,361
I'm there whenever
you need a guy.
277
00:09:59,406 --> 00:10:00,981
You want a cup of tea,
I'll make it.
278
00:10:01,029 --> 00:10:02,352
You lose your phone, I'll call.
279
00:10:02,377 --> 00:10:04,432
You're my friend.
That's what friends do.
280
00:10:04,463 --> 00:10:06,466
I'm you boyfriend
without the rewards.
281
00:10:06,891 --> 00:10:07,823
Oh?
282
00:10:07,881 --> 00:10:09,873
Yeah.
283
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,764
You're saying you want the...?
284
00:10:13,842 --> 00:10:17,799
No! No, no, no, no, no.
Not with you. Blecch!
285
00:10:18,106 --> 00:10:19,813
- Don't say "blecch!"
- I don't want it.
286
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,560
I'm not disgusting.
It's not an unheard of thought.
287
00:10:22,585 --> 00:10:24,525
- Blecch!
- Come on. Admit it, you've thought about it.
288
00:10:24,549 --> 00:10:26,025
You and me, sexually?
Nope.
289
00:10:26,049 --> 00:10:27,343
Blecch!
Never thought about it once.
290
00:10:27,391 --> 00:10:29,402
- Don't lie.
- Not on purpose.
291
00:10:29,611 --> 00:10:32,013
Sleeping Nick is a totally
different guy.
292
00:10:32,038 --> 00:10:34,892
You know you did when you walked
in on me doing deep lunges.
293
00:10:34,917 --> 00:10:36,722
Yeah, check my Google
history, Jess.
294
00:10:36,753 --> 00:10:39,422
It's filled with girls
doing deep lunges.
295
00:10:39,458 --> 00:10:41,372
I mean, I'll admit
I've thought about it.
296
00:10:42,569 --> 00:10:44,738
- Yeah.
- When was this?
297
00:10:44,924 --> 00:10:46,599
Last year. Just once.
298
00:10:46,905 --> 00:10:48,786
Would you like to eat me?
299
00:10:48,842 --> 00:10:51,481
What do you mean?
Aren't you a little small?
300
00:10:51,540 --> 00:10:53,597
What, are you nuts?!
301
00:10:53,810 --> 00:10:55,763
What happened?
302
00:10:55,796 --> 00:10:57,845
Why am I doing this?
303
00:10:58,183 --> 00:10:59,534
That's what does it for you?
304
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:01,455
Yeah, I thought about it
for five minutes,
305
00:11:01,479 --> 00:11:04,268
and then I realized it would
never, ever work between us.
306
00:11:04,325 --> 00:11:06,119
Yeah, I agree.
That's how I see it.
307
00:11:06,150 --> 00:11:07,832
- Great. I'm glad we agree on something.
- Me, too!
308
00:11:07,899 --> 00:11:10,526
- Great.
- Out of curiosity, why do you think that, though?
309
00:11:10,564 --> 00:11:13,222
Because you drive
me nuts, Miller!
310
00:11:13,275 --> 00:11:14,775
Because you're always sighing,
311
00:11:14,846 --> 00:11:16,936
like you're the president
of the United States
312
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:19,457
and you have to decide whether
we're going to war or not.
313
00:11:19,488 --> 00:11:22,138
I sigh because you
sing about everything.
314
00:11:22,169 --> 00:11:22,832
I do not.
315
00:11:22,866 --> 00:11:23,828
♪ And I hate it. ♪
316
00:11:23,862 --> 00:11:25,556
♪ You sing and dance
about nothing. ♪
317
00:11:25,599 --> 00:11:26,904
You're cheap!
318
00:11:27,098 --> 00:11:28,461
- You are so cheap.
- I'm not cheap.
319
00:11:28,484 --> 00:11:31,321
You never, ever put money
in any tip jar, ever.
320
00:11:31,352 --> 00:11:33,422
- What are you talking about?
- I've never seen you ever do that.
321
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:34,785
Last week, when we
went to the coffee shop.
322
00:11:34,847 --> 00:11:36,829
- You put nickels in the tip jar!
- You know what
323
00:11:36,856 --> 00:11:39,004
- a jar is in my business?
- Nickels! Nickels are worse
324
00:11:39,044 --> 00:11:41,400
- than no money; it's an insult.
- It's just a little boy saying, "Love me!"
325
00:11:41,418 --> 00:11:42,999
- "Give me attention!"
- You're a bartender.
326
00:11:43,018 --> 00:11:44,768
- You live on tips. You should know better.
- The nickel?
327
00:11:44,792 --> 00:11:46,979
- The only American currency...
- You can't not give someone a tip
328
00:11:46,991 --> 00:11:48,988
- Because you don't like tip jars!
- ...graced with the face of Thomas Jefferson.
329
00:11:49,020 --> 00:11:51,017
- Well, I think that's rude, Nick!
- I didn't realize you were on the fence
330
00:11:51,026 --> 00:11:52,763
- about the Louisiana Purchase...
- You hate everything!
331
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:54,331
- ...Jessica!
- And I could never live with that.
332
00:11:54,372 --> 00:11:56,312
I barely live with it now!
333
00:11:56,512 --> 00:11:59,502
But you need me to have sex.
334
00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:04,515
Oh, that's what you think?
335
00:12:05,834 --> 00:12:07,092
I'm calling Sam,
336
00:12:07,191 --> 00:12:08,762
and we're gonna go on a date.
337
00:12:08,784 --> 00:12:10,739
And we're gonna
talk our faces off.
338
00:12:10,801 --> 00:12:12,691
- Okay?
- Good luck. Good luck with that.
339
00:12:12,841 --> 00:12:14,373
- Can't find your phone, Jess?
- No, I'll find it.
340
00:12:14,404 --> 00:12:16,763
- 'Cause I'm not calling you this time.
- Are you happy now?
341
00:12:16,810 --> 00:12:19,066
Now I have to get to know
the guy I'm sleeping with.
342
00:12:23,825 --> 00:12:25,244
That was a pocket dial!
343
00:12:25,289 --> 00:12:26,864
That was an ill-timed
pocket dial!
344
00:12:26,902 --> 00:12:28,233
I will not explain myself!
345
00:12:31,092 --> 00:12:34,230
I just wish I had a lot
more solo Tugg time.
346
00:12:34,359 --> 00:12:35,152
You know?
347
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,158
Well, you can be Tugg with me.
348
00:12:37,572 --> 00:12:39,749
Sometimes I think that
I'm just a riddle that,
349
00:12:39,762 --> 00:12:41,762
well, even I can't solve.
350
00:12:44,466 --> 00:12:46,483
Yeah, see? I tried
to solve it again.
351
00:12:50,085 --> 00:12:51,084
- Hi.
- Hi.
352
00:12:51,125 --> 00:12:52,088
I hope it's okay,
353
00:12:52,113 --> 00:12:54,071
I invited over some of
the Kappas For Romney.
354
00:12:54,105 --> 00:12:56,096
- Kappas For Romney!
- Courtney.
355
00:12:56,137 --> 00:12:58,028
- Such a pleasure. - Courtney.
- I'm April.
356
00:12:58,072 --> 00:12:59,546
- April.
- They just got so excited when I said
357
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:00,568
I met one of the Romney boys.
358
00:13:00,593 --> 00:13:02,583
- Oh, no, who wouldn't be?
- Did you ask him?
359
00:13:02,610 --> 00:13:04,167
I think April's in love
with your brothers.
360
00:13:04,198 --> 00:13:05,411
- Who isn't?
- Who's the shy one?
361
00:13:05,438 --> 00:13:07,320
Who's the joker?
Who's tried coffee?
362
00:13:07,345 --> 00:13:08,517
April, you're such a spaz.
363
00:13:08,535 --> 00:13:10,655
Yeah, no, nobody gets rowdy
like us Romney boys.
364
00:13:10,705 --> 00:13:12,324
Just a bunch of alphas,
you know what I mean?
365
00:13:12,355 --> 00:13:13,354
Yeah.
366
00:13:13,568 --> 00:13:14,513
That is, of course,
367
00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:17,223
unless we're fishing
on Lake Winnipesauke.
368
00:13:17,273 --> 00:13:19,004
There's nothing that
I love more than just
369
00:13:19,055 --> 00:13:21,070
getting out on
the water with Dad,
370
00:13:21,122 --> 00:13:22,941
the freezing cold dawn,
371
00:13:22,965 --> 00:13:24,634
a couple of cold beers in hand.
372
00:13:24,756 --> 00:13:25,972
Having that one quick moment...
373
00:13:25,996 --> 00:13:27,620
Your dad doesn't drink.
He's a Mormon.
374
00:13:27,699 --> 00:13:30,710
Well, we don't drink
the beers, Courtney.
375
00:13:30,937 --> 00:13:33,906
You know, we just buy them
to support American breweries.
376
00:13:34,038 --> 00:13:35,088
Then we dump them in the lake.
377
00:13:35,145 --> 00:13:37,144
'Cause we're Americans.
378
00:13:38,748 --> 00:13:42,065
So... um...
379
00:13:42,109 --> 00:13:44,425
I want a casual sex affair,
just like in the movies.
380
00:13:44,456 --> 00:13:46,963
- Nice.
- But it turns out...
381
00:13:47,574 --> 00:13:49,368
I need some conversation first.
382
00:13:49,421 --> 00:13:50,012
So...
383
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,103
- If you want to hang...
- No.
384
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:52,213
- ...Hang out more...
- I don't...
385
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,109
- I don't want to hang out more.
- Okay.
386
00:13:54,127 --> 00:13:56,282
Because, if I hang
out with you,
387
00:13:56,323 --> 00:13:58,461
it's just the truth, I'm
gonna fall in love with you.
388
00:13:58,487 --> 00:14:00,486
It's just how I am.
I can't separate things out.
389
00:14:00,643 --> 00:14:03,156
Under what circumstances
390
00:14:03,438 --> 00:14:05,214
would you build a
dresser for a woman?
391
00:14:05,252 --> 00:14:06,542
And this is, like...
392
00:14:06,567 --> 00:14:08,570
and I'm not interested
in sleeping with her?
393
00:14:09,214 --> 00:14:10,222
Um...
394
00:14:11,063 --> 00:14:12,719
- Am I being blackmailed?
- No.
395
00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:13,526
Oh, is it like a...
396
00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:15,445
it's like a Make-A-Wish
Foundation type thing?
397
00:14:15,482 --> 00:14:18,524
- No.
- I mean... Yeah. Marriage.
398
00:14:18,561 --> 00:14:20,314
You know, anything
besides marriage is a...
399
00:14:20,345 --> 00:14:21,533
you know, an abuse.
400
00:14:21,551 --> 00:14:22,541
An abuse?
401
00:14:22,572 --> 00:14:25,354
Yeah, you can't
do that to a friend.
402
00:14:25,510 --> 00:14:27,501
Unless your friend's a chump.
403
00:14:27,709 --> 00:14:29,954
Or a certified carpenter--
that would work.
404
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:33,016
Wait a minute.
This isn't a sex thing, is it?
405
00:14:33,042 --> 00:14:33,951
Because I... you know,
406
00:14:33,969 --> 00:14:36,008
I can't pleasure a woman
407
00:14:36,052 --> 00:14:38,177
and build a dresser
at the same time, you know?
408
00:14:38,230 --> 00:14:39,238
I'm not God.
409
00:14:46,528 --> 00:14:47,928
Hey.
410
00:14:47,935 --> 00:14:48,968
Hey!
411
00:14:49,113 --> 00:14:50,798
Hey! Hey, hey, hey,
what's going on, man?
412
00:14:50,835 --> 00:14:51,851
Are you going
to the dark place?
413
00:14:51,883 --> 00:14:53,623
I'm not going to
the dark place, okay?
414
00:14:53,648 --> 00:14:55,597
I did what you said,
I told her I didn't want
415
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:56,848
to be her fluffer,
and it went great.
416
00:14:56,866 --> 00:14:58,153
Then what is wrong
with you? Get up, man.
417
00:14:58,184 --> 00:15:00,181
Look, I did what you said,
and I feel terrible.
418
00:15:00,390 --> 00:15:02,066
Because you didn't
set boundaries.
419
00:15:02,105 --> 00:15:03,424
I don't know what
that means, Winston.
420
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:05,643
As a friend, you can
lift a heavy object,
421
00:15:05,955 --> 00:15:07,942
but you can't drive her
to the airport, okay?
422
00:15:08,012 --> 00:15:09,250
You can hold the
elevator, but only
423
00:15:09,293 --> 00:15:10,531
if you see her running
down the hallway
424
00:15:10,575 --> 00:15:12,231
saying, "Hey, man, please
can you hold the elevator?"
425
00:15:12,266 --> 00:15:13,864
No picnics,
no mini-muffins
426
00:15:13,883 --> 00:15:14,900
and never Adele.
427
00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,118
- Adele?
- Never Adele.
428
00:15:16,121 --> 00:15:17,462
- Adele's amazing.
- No Adele.
429
00:15:17,486 --> 00:15:19,852
No concerts, no music,
no T-shirts, no nothing.
430
00:15:19,883 --> 00:15:21,433
- But guys and girls...
- Never Adele!
431
00:15:21,566 --> 00:15:23,796
A little Adele.
432
00:15:23,884 --> 00:15:26,436
Hey. Hey. Hey!
Hey! Hey!
433
00:15:26,473 --> 00:15:28,766
Nick! You're gonna
calm down, okay?
434
00:15:28,851 --> 00:15:30,089
You want my help or what, man?
435
00:15:30,106 --> 00:15:31,266
Yes.
436
00:15:31,292 --> 00:15:32,678
Don't be so intense.
437
00:15:33,330 --> 00:15:34,881
Most importantly...
438
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,100
you will not build
her that dresser.
439
00:15:37,282 --> 00:15:38,276
It's furniture.
440
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:39,853
It implies that one day,
441
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:42,100
you will share it with her.
442
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,095
And that's not gonna happen.
443
00:15:44,365 --> 00:15:47,360
You're right.
You're right.
444
00:15:52,426 --> 00:15:54,417
Are-are you spelling it right?
445
00:15:54,449 --> 00:15:56,456
Two "G"s, silent "B."
446
00:15:56,518 --> 00:15:57,247
Here's a picture
447
00:15:57,276 --> 00:15:58,245
of the whole family.
448
00:15:58,276 --> 00:15:59,850
And you are not in it.
449
00:15:59,874 --> 00:16:01,740
Yeah, well, somebody had
to take the picture, Megan.
450
00:16:01,777 --> 00:16:03,319
Just admit it.
You're not a Romney.
451
00:16:03,356 --> 00:16:05,638
Oh, I'm not a Romney?
Would a non-Romney know this?
452
00:16:05,787 --> 00:16:08,366
That Ma and Pa
never go to bed angry.
453
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,207
That there are 16 grandchildren,
454
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,782
Allie, Joe, Thomas, Gracie,
Wyatt, Parker, Miles, Jonathan,
455
00:16:12,807 --> 00:16:15,438
Sawyer, Nate, Nash, Mia, Owen,
Soleil, Nick and Chloe.
456
00:16:15,463 --> 00:16:16,490
Those are just facts
457
00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:18,343
you got from the Internet.
458
00:16:18,787 --> 00:16:21,269
I'm proud to be a Romney.
459
00:16:21,435 --> 00:16:23,918
Okay? I'm proud to have had
a dad that was around
460
00:16:23,962 --> 00:16:25,256
when I was growing up.
461
00:16:25,501 --> 00:16:27,095
A dad that took me camping,
462
00:16:27,148 --> 00:16:29,023
a dad that spent
Saturdays with me,
463
00:16:29,061 --> 00:16:31,093
throwing...
throwing the football.
464
00:16:31,694 --> 00:16:33,090
A dad that gave me a wink
465
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:34,360
when I left for prom night
466
00:16:34,397 --> 00:16:36,616
and said, "Be safe, son."
467
00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:39,265
When I think of a dad like that,
468
00:16:39,388 --> 00:16:40,411
I'm proud not only
469
00:16:40,437 --> 00:16:42,337
of the Romney name,
but of this country.
470
00:16:42,406 --> 00:16:45,341
God bless Mitt Romney.
471
00:16:45,623 --> 00:16:47,665
God bless America.
472
00:16:48,567 --> 00:16:50,772
It's a candid shot from
the governor's biography.
473
00:16:50,853 --> 00:16:53,384
The caption says,
"The whole family."
474
00:16:55,777 --> 00:16:57,184
Nitpicking turns me off.
475
00:16:57,230 --> 00:16:58,912
You're all horribly
unattractive to me.
476
00:16:58,968 --> 00:17:00,984
Tugg Romney, out.
477
00:17:06,861 --> 00:17:07,797
Hey.
478
00:17:07,842 --> 00:17:08,924
I got your text.
479
00:17:08,962 --> 00:17:11,298
When you're going through
a Taylor Swift-like
480
00:17:11,317 --> 00:17:13,811
range of emotions,
I should come over, right?
481
00:17:13,839 --> 00:17:15,846
You were the only one
that I could talk to.
482
00:17:15,879 --> 00:17:19,186
Being brown, you have
the wisdom of 1,000 white women.
483
00:17:19,348 --> 00:17:20,355
All right.
484
00:17:21,126 --> 00:17:23,126
What happened with that girl?
485
00:17:25,246 --> 00:17:26,378
Winston.
486
00:17:27,661 --> 00:17:28,668
Winston.
487
00:17:28,750 --> 00:17:30,750
- Hey.
- Hmm?
488
00:17:30,779 --> 00:17:32,192
- Are you serious right now?
- Well, I...
489
00:17:32,216 --> 00:17:34,106
- He-he said it was okay.
- She is off limits.
490
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:35,549
Go call your girlfriend.
491
00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:37,793
You obviously have things
you need to work out.
492
00:17:37,852 --> 00:17:39,550
Fine. Fine.
493
00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:42,512
But for the record,
it was loving and tender
494
00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:44,043
and you squeezed
my hand at the end.
495
00:17:44,087 --> 00:17:45,155
Get out of here!
496
00:17:45,779 --> 00:17:46,778
Deviant.
497
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:49,316
Okay, so...
498
00:17:49,466 --> 00:17:50,537
tell me what happened.
499
00:17:50,559 --> 00:17:52,438
Well, I'm back
to being Schmidt.
500
00:17:52,519 --> 00:17:53,947
I'm gonna miss it, though.
501
00:17:53,995 --> 00:17:54,998
Being a Romney.
502
00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:56,763
Schmidt, your life
would not have been better
503
00:17:56,781 --> 00:17:58,779
if you were a Romney.
504
00:17:59,619 --> 00:18:02,049
Cece, look, my dad left
505
00:18:02,079 --> 00:18:03,121
when I was eight.
506
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:04,352
Okay?
507
00:18:04,379 --> 00:18:06,827
And then he went and had
three kids with his new wife,
508
00:18:06,922 --> 00:18:09,152
and me and my mom
were just these two weirdos
509
00:18:09,183 --> 00:18:10,484
who belonged to nobody.
510
00:18:10,780 --> 00:18:12,324
Until she started
spending all this time
511
00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:14,222
with this woman from work who...
512
00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,438
who she still lives with today.
513
00:18:17,030 --> 00:18:18,121
Schmidt.
514
00:18:18,547 --> 00:18:20,203
He's your dad. All right?
515
00:18:20,234 --> 00:18:21,339
Find a way to forgive him
516
00:18:21,362 --> 00:18:24,552
for not being a presidential
candidate with great hair.
517
00:18:24,860 --> 00:18:25,787
Forget it.
518
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:26,896
No one understands.
519
00:18:29,829 --> 00:18:32,116
There, I thought you needed that, okay?
520
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,186
- Just take a breath, and it will...
- Shh.
521
00:18:34,294 --> 00:18:36,618
Shh, shh, shh.
522
00:18:36,729 --> 00:18:38,729
It's like memory foam.
523
00:18:43,361 --> 00:18:45,307
Call your dad.
524
00:18:47,157 --> 00:18:49,559
You've been cheating
on me in your mind?
525
00:18:49,584 --> 00:18:51,604
Yes, but, like, to be
fair, you were there.
526
00:18:51,684 --> 00:18:54,168
A lot of times, you would just
pop up mad, but you were there.
527
00:18:54,193 --> 00:18:56,969
Winston, come on, it's fine.
Look, you can think about
528
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,613
whatever you want
to think about.
529
00:18:58,739 --> 00:19:01,044
I know I'm the one
you want to be with.
530
00:19:01,219 --> 00:19:03,744
Come on, want to come
upstairs and watch some SVU?
531
00:19:03,974 --> 00:19:05,930
You want to watch
SVU right now?
532
00:19:05,949 --> 00:19:07,900
Well, I'm too wound up
to watch Raymond.
533
00:19:08,012 --> 00:19:09,424
Look, sometimes after
a big fight,
534
00:19:09,455 --> 00:19:11,218
I like to cool off
with some TV.
535
00:19:11,303 --> 00:19:12,348
What do you mean, big fight?
536
00:19:12,380 --> 00:19:14,277
- We just had a fight.
- We hardly talked.
537
00:19:14,479 --> 00:19:16,499
Like, I want to talk, I want to
fight, I want to do something!
538
00:19:16,612 --> 00:19:19,615
Well, maybe we can fight
in your mind.
539
00:19:25,561 --> 00:19:26,627
Hey.
540
00:19:26,815 --> 00:19:28,010
Stop.
541
00:19:28,066 --> 00:19:29,983
- Jess...
- Stop. Do not... Come on, Nick.
542
00:19:30,020 --> 00:19:31,277
Don't build
that dresser, please.
543
00:19:31,326 --> 00:19:33,351
Jess, it's fine.
I have another one.
544
00:19:33,388 --> 00:19:34,721
I need, like, three
to build this thing.
545
00:19:34,746 --> 00:19:35,953
I can't let you fluff me.
546
00:19:35,990 --> 00:19:38,153
I can't let you work
in emotional porn.
547
00:19:38,188 --> 00:19:39,450
You have too much to offer.
548
00:19:39,495 --> 00:19:40,363
Forget it, Jess.
549
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:41,830
I'm building you the dresser.
550
00:19:41,855 --> 00:19:42,920
I love this stuff.
551
00:19:43,164 --> 00:19:44,464
It's like high-stakes Legos.
552
00:19:44,648 --> 00:19:46,548
Okay, but...
553
00:19:46,997 --> 00:19:49,042
I didn't know what
I was doing to you.
554
00:19:49,444 --> 00:19:52,213
I've always had relationships
in different boxes.
555
00:19:52,311 --> 00:19:53,661
Friends in one box,
556
00:19:53,850 --> 00:19:55,098
boyfriends in another.
557
00:19:55,123 --> 00:19:57,109
But now...
558
00:19:57,466 --> 00:19:59,949
it's messy, and...
559
00:20:00,092 --> 00:20:02,031
I don't want to screw up
what I have with you.
560
00:20:02,055 --> 00:20:04,332
- You're too important to me.
- It's different with us.
561
00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:07,873
We're just two people
who want to be friends,
562
00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:09,885
but are sometimes
attracted to each other.
563
00:20:09,926 --> 00:20:11,223
- Ha!
- No, no...
564
00:20:11,241 --> 00:20:13,042
You have thought
about the reward.
565
00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:14,617
That's not what I said.
566
00:20:14,654 --> 00:20:16,480
My calculations were correct.
567
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:17,969
I love deep lunges.
568
00:20:18,003 --> 00:20:20,421
Just don't make a big deal of it.
569
00:20:20,566 --> 00:20:21,734
I just don't need
570
00:20:21,772 --> 00:20:23,128
a bunch of people
571
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,709
telling me what we can
and can't do together.
572
00:20:25,837 --> 00:20:27,853
That pisses me off.
573
00:20:28,030 --> 00:20:29,444
If I want to build
you a dresser,
574
00:20:29,475 --> 00:20:31,282
I'm gonna build you
a damn dresser.
575
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,493
But if you want to
have dates before sex,
576
00:20:34,665 --> 00:20:36,446
just do me a favor
577
00:20:36,587 --> 00:20:38,596
and have them with the guy
you're having sex with.
578
00:20:39,260 --> 00:20:41,191
- Agreed.
- Good.
579
00:20:41,376 --> 00:20:43,539
Maybe I should just
stop trying with Sam.
580
00:20:43,603 --> 00:20:45,203
I'm old-fashioned
below the belt.
581
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,243
I've got a Civil War-era
piece of equipment,
582
00:20:47,269 --> 00:20:48,722
and that's all she wrote.
583
00:20:51,088 --> 00:20:52,057
All right.
584
00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:54,150
I got to give you
something now.
585
00:20:55,344 --> 00:20:59,094
Something... really
close to my heart.
586
00:20:59,850 --> 00:21:02,045
That's Nick's Sexy Mix.
587
00:21:02,088 --> 00:21:04,369
AKA the original fluffer.
588
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,664
"The Humpty Dance"
does it for you, Nick?
589
00:21:07,059 --> 00:21:08,587
Do your thing, girl.
590
00:21:09,038 --> 00:21:10,479
Get crazy.
591
00:21:14,624 --> 00:21:16,274
When we're done,
592
00:21:16,301 --> 00:21:18,798
I want you to immediately
turn this off.
593
00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:20,612
Yes.
594
00:21:26,611 --> 00:21:29,611
Ooh...
595
00:21:35,611 --> 00:21:40,611
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