1
00:00:02,447 --> 00:00:06,303
_
2
00:00:17,869 --> 00:00:19,884
Fantastico.
3
00:00:26,775 --> 00:00:29,294
- Are you checking my pulse?
- You were very still.
4
00:00:32,419 --> 00:00:34,728
Well, that was really fun.
5
00:00:37,392 --> 00:00:40,467
I don't know what to
say here. Um...
6
00:00:40,895 --> 00:00:43,132
- I got an idea. Stay right here, okay?
- Okay.
7
00:00:43,151 --> 00:00:45,826
- Let me do something. Stay right here.
- Okay.
8
00:01:07,251 --> 00:01:09,274
We need some dessert.
9
00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:14,898
That's too much.
10
00:01:15,999 --> 00:01:18,117
Nah, definitely not doing that.
11
00:01:22,419 --> 00:01:23,713
Bob!
12
00:01:23,830 --> 00:01:26,302
You. It's... you.
13
00:01:26,321 --> 00:01:28,777
- Nick.
- Right. Nick. How could I forget that?
14
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:32,092
Sorry to interrupt you.
Wilson let me in.
15
00:01:32,752 --> 00:01:34,147
Well, what are you
doing with that?
16
00:01:34,172 --> 00:01:36,553
That, uh, looks like lady food.
17
00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:37,882
This is for Wilson.
18
00:01:37,912 --> 00:01:39,968
Yeah, Wilson,
here's your grapefruit,
19
00:01:39,989 --> 00:01:42,333
pie and eggs,
just like you like.
20
00:01:42,351 --> 00:01:45,076
- Is it because it's my birthday?
- It's your birthday?
21
00:01:45,337 --> 00:01:47,753
That's why I made it,
'cause it's your birthday.
22
00:01:47,779 --> 00:01:50,164
I know you're lying,
and I'm hurt,
23
00:01:50,580 --> 00:01:53,454
- but I'm gonna eat this anyway.
- See you later, Wilson.
24
00:01:53,901 --> 00:01:55,989
- What are you doing here, Bob?
- The wedding!
25
00:01:56,008 --> 00:01:58,751
I wouldn't miss Cece's
wedding. Where's Jess?
26
00:01:58,795 --> 00:02:01,431
Hey, Nick, what's our la...?
27
00:02:01,444 --> 00:02:02,800
Look who I bumped into--
your dad!
28
00:02:02,814 --> 00:02:04,739
- Dad!
- Your dad is here today, Jess!
29
00:02:05,172 --> 00:02:07,528
♪ Who's that girl?
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
30
00:02:07,540 --> 00:02:09,158
♪ It's Jess.
31
00:02:09,176 --> 00:02:13,176
Sync and corrections by Norther
www.addic7ed.com
32
00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:19,023
Well?
33
00:02:19,355 --> 00:02:20,930
Are the reviews in?
34
00:02:20,942 --> 00:02:23,273
- The reviews for what?
- My new body.
35
00:02:23,306 --> 00:02:24,794
How it moves.
36
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,263
Its pitch, its yaw.
37
00:02:26,275 --> 00:02:28,396
My perfectly sculpted
pubic topiary.
38
00:02:28,414 --> 00:02:30,832
I liked how your body moved
39
00:02:30,898 --> 00:02:32,766
before you knew
what to do with it.
40
00:02:37,931 --> 00:02:39,984
- Want to dance?
- Yeah, right.
41
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:42,590
Fat kid wants to dance
at the cool college party.
42
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:44,340
- Nice joke, stranger.
- Come on.
43
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:47,487
If they make fun of you,
I'll punch them in the penis.
44
00:03:00,801 --> 00:03:03,239
You never cared about
what people thought.
45
00:03:03,263 --> 00:03:06,682
I mean, even last night, with the
window open and the woof howls.
46
00:03:06,703 --> 00:03:08,422
It was very uncomfortable.
47
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:12,143
Stop threatening to move,
Bernie, and just move!
48
00:03:12,161 --> 00:03:14,191
I love that about you.
49
00:03:14,330 --> 00:03:17,082
I'm gonna go to work. Do you
want to have lunch later?
50
00:03:21,386 --> 00:03:23,229
It's still impressive,
51
00:03:23,285 --> 00:03:24,941
but did you
lose weight down...?
52
00:03:24,972 --> 00:03:26,145
It's slightly smaller.
53
00:03:26,181 --> 00:03:27,869
Doctors--
no explanation.
54
00:03:27,882 --> 00:03:29,050
That's not normal.
55
00:03:29,068 --> 00:03:32,043
- Shut up, Bernie!
- Shut up, Bernie!
56
00:03:32,911 --> 00:03:36,347
He can never find out about
this, because he will kill you.
57
00:03:36,365 --> 00:03:39,024
When I was ten, he caught
me kissing Glenn Ely.
58
00:03:39,123 --> 00:03:41,715
He got some guys from the club
to put the fear of God in him.
59
00:03:47,592 --> 00:03:49,370
Help!
60
00:03:49,406 --> 00:03:52,513
- So, let me deal with him.
- Smile!
61
00:03:53,410 --> 00:03:55,810
- I got to get some new flash cubes.
- Dude,
62
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,930
- keep your mouth shut. Okay?
- Great, fantastic.
63
00:03:57,942 --> 00:03:59,373
- Hey, Dad?
- Yeah?
64
00:03:59,385 --> 00:04:02,391
Why don't we take a walk?
Oh, it's Peg.
65
00:04:03,318 --> 00:04:04,874
- Peg.
- Hi, Jess.
66
00:04:04,904 --> 00:04:07,549
Guess what? I'm at a new school, and
there's an opening for a new teacher,
67
00:04:07,563 --> 00:04:10,157
and you'd be perfect.
Can you come in today?
68
00:04:10,204 --> 00:04:13,616
Yeah, I would love to. I just--
um, my dad's in town, so...
69
00:04:13,641 --> 00:04:16,413
I'm kind of out on a limb here. I
really talked you up to the principal.
70
00:04:16,437 --> 00:04:19,092
Guess what. Spoiler alert.
He's perking me.
71
00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:22,964
- Can you be here in 30 minutes?
- Okay, I'll figure it out.
72
00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:25,820
Amy! Put those back
in your shirt, both of them.
73
00:04:26,406 --> 00:04:28,877
Oh, my God. I have the
chance to teach kids again.
74
00:04:28,889 --> 00:04:30,566
You got to go.
75
00:04:30,917 --> 00:04:32,986
Oh... Dad, you should
come with me.
76
00:04:33,004 --> 00:04:34,392
Yes, you should go
with your daughter!
77
00:04:34,423 --> 00:04:36,773
What am I gonna do, sit in
your car and get mugged?
78
00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:40,460
I mean, I didn't gay my way out of
Vietnam just to be killed by some punk.
79
00:04:40,478 --> 00:04:42,034
No, no. No, I'll stay with him.
80
00:04:42,046 --> 00:04:44,009
- Oh, no, no, that, uh, that doesn't work.
- That's a bad idea.
81
00:04:44,015 --> 00:04:46,213
That's-- I've-I've got stuff
I got to do, so...
82
00:04:46,231 --> 00:04:47,294
- Stuff?
- Yeah.
83
00:04:47,325 --> 00:04:49,960
You don't have any stuff.
Name one stuff.
84
00:04:50,489 --> 00:04:52,034
Documents.
85
00:04:52,076 --> 00:04:54,807
- Documents?
- Yeah, I got documents.
86
00:04:54,835 --> 00:04:56,186
Okay, I get it.
87
00:04:56,207 --> 00:04:58,459
You know, I'm always alone, so,
88
00:04:58,484 --> 00:05:00,100
I'll just, uh... be alone.
89
00:05:00,112 --> 00:05:01,925
- Do not fall for it.
- I am falling for it.
90
00:05:01,942 --> 00:05:04,385
- Do not fall for it. - I am falling for
it right this second. I'm feeling bad.
91
00:05:04,398 --> 00:05:06,154
- I'll stay!
- That's terrific.
92
00:05:07,747 --> 00:05:09,047
Jess... Jess.
93
00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:11,877
Hi! Yay, tomorrow's
your big day! Hooray!
94
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:14,266
Listen, I'm gonna be a little bit
later than I thought I would be,
95
00:05:14,278 --> 00:05:16,419
but it's gonna be worth it,
because last night...
96
00:05:16,432 --> 00:05:18,021
Just hang on. I can't hear you.
I can't hear you.
97
00:05:18,033 --> 00:05:21,007
Guys, it's too loud
in here, okay?!
98
00:05:21,034 --> 00:05:22,259
Uncle Shishir!
99
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:26,238
He had one scene with
Salman Khan in Dabangg 2,
100
00:05:26,262 --> 00:05:28,856
and all of the sudden he thinks he's
Amitabh Bachchan in Jhoom Barabar Jhoom.
101
00:05:28,872 --> 00:05:30,141
I could just tell you later.
102
00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:33,254
I am exhausted, and I still have
to go pick up my wedding sari,
103
00:05:33,281 --> 00:05:34,825
and I still have to
get my hands henna'd.
104
00:05:34,843 --> 00:05:37,205
Okay, look, just send
everybody to their hotels.
105
00:05:37,238 --> 00:05:38,991
I'll have Winston
pick up your sari,
106
00:05:39,009 --> 00:05:42,324
and then after you're done having
your hands tattooed, take a nap.
107
00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,494
Now hand the phone to Shishir.
108
00:05:44,941 --> 00:05:47,069
Uncle. Jess.
109
00:05:47,385 --> 00:05:50,722
Shishir, you son of a bitch.
You little son of a bitch.
110
00:05:50,746 --> 00:05:52,532
It is not your day!
111
00:05:54,867 --> 00:05:56,786
- Hey, Winston.
- What's up?
112
00:05:56,801 --> 00:05:58,886
- Anything you want to wish me?
- Look, Winston,
113
00:05:58,911 --> 00:06:02,365
I need you to pick up Cece's wedding
sari and take it to her house.
114
00:06:02,558 --> 00:06:05,358
- You want me to take it to her house?
- Yeah. Just go pick it up.
115
00:06:05,383 --> 00:06:09,097
Ah, wedding sari, for the
celebration of the wedding.
116
00:06:09,121 --> 00:06:11,390
- Yes, nothing else.
- Yeah, I don't know what you're doing,
117
00:06:11,409 --> 00:06:14,074
but just do it, okay?
Um, I have to go.
118
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:16,181
It's happening!
119
00:06:17,409 --> 00:06:19,568
Peg, hi. Thank you so much
for the interview.
120
00:06:19,593 --> 00:06:21,868
- Sorry I'm late.
- Uh, no interview.
121
00:06:21,886 --> 00:06:23,585
You're getting right in
the soup; you're subbing.
122
00:06:23,597 --> 00:06:25,653
- I need Al to see you in action.
- What? Subbing?
123
00:06:25,671 --> 00:06:28,323
It's a really busy day; I
don't think I could sub...
124
00:06:28,438 --> 00:06:29,727
- Oh, yes you can.
- ...right now.
125
00:06:29,733 --> 00:06:31,364
- What? No.
- This is your chance.
126
00:06:31,412 --> 00:06:32,944
Oh, my...
127
00:06:34,314 --> 00:06:36,893
Ah, stop! You have to stop!
128
00:06:41,543 --> 00:06:43,047
Hey, guys.
129
00:06:43,072 --> 00:06:44,260
All right.
130
00:06:44,291 --> 00:06:45,991
Okay, listen!
131
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:49,552
Or don't!
132
00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:52,192
But the hell if I'm
not gonna teach!
133
00:06:52,274 --> 00:06:55,226
I'm gonna bring the words
of Mark Twain alive
134
00:06:55,251 --> 00:06:59,284
with only the human voice.
135
00:06:59,414 --> 00:07:00,664
What about you?
You got a girl?
136
00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:02,450
- No. No, no, no, no, no.
- No, really?
137
00:07:02,462 --> 00:07:05,090
- No, no, no, no. No girls for me. No.
- Seriously? A good-looking guy like you?
138
00:07:05,096 --> 00:07:07,483
- It'd seem like women would just
flock to you. - No, no, it's not like that.
139
00:07:07,508 --> 00:07:10,270
- Let's talk about you and girls! I don't want
to talk about this. - ...and a young guy.
140
00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:14,765
- This isn't something we should talk about,
Bob, trust me! - Okay, gee whiz, I'm sorry.
141
00:07:15,063 --> 00:07:18,424
- Just freakin' back off.
- I'm sorry I brought it up.
142
00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:24,079
All right.
143
00:07:24,749 --> 00:07:26,216
What?
144
00:07:29,521 --> 00:07:31,039
What?
145
00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:34,842
- There's a girl. Yes.
- There is, see? I told you.
146
00:07:34,861 --> 00:07:36,642
- I knew-- There's always a girl.
- There-- you're right.
147
00:07:36,655 --> 00:07:38,749
- Come on, what's she like?
- She's, uh, not quirky.
148
00:07:38,767 --> 00:07:41,198
- No?
- She's got no bangs.
149
00:07:41,226 --> 00:07:43,191
- No bangs.
- Uh, tall and fat.
150
00:07:43,209 --> 00:07:44,697
- Really?
- Yeah. Really ugly eyes.
151
00:07:44,709 --> 00:07:46,711
- Small, tiny little beady eyes.
- Yeah. Yeah.
152
00:07:46,728 --> 00:07:49,456
Her name is, uh,
Yolanda Winston.
153
00:07:49,586 --> 00:07:51,103
Yolanda Winston.
154
00:07:54,295 --> 00:07:57,491
Just wallpaper! I have fancy
athletic shoe wallpaper.
155
00:07:57,766 --> 00:07:59,489
Elizabeth, what are you
doing here?
156
00:07:59,501 --> 00:08:01,586
I got here early,
so I wanted to come up.
157
00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:03,542
That shirt is, uh...
158
00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:04,917
12 years old.
159
00:08:04,946 --> 00:08:07,694
- It's the shirt I met you in.
- Oh, yeah, I remember that.
160
00:08:07,712 --> 00:08:08,938
Y2 Kitty Kat.
161
00:08:08,963 --> 00:08:10,686
As relevant today
as it was then.
162
00:08:10,692 --> 00:08:12,655
Schmidt, do you have a moment?
163
00:08:12,704 --> 00:08:15,932
- I have unlimited moments.
- I was reviewing the numbers...
164
00:08:16,527 --> 00:08:19,686
Custodial keeps sending us
these spooky Eastern European girls.
165
00:08:19,702 --> 00:08:21,927
You want to see spooky?
Call me spooky again.
166
00:08:21,939 --> 00:08:23,638
I'll spook the ass fat
right out of your lips.
167
00:08:23,664 --> 00:08:24,820
Do you know her?
168
00:08:24,844 --> 00:08:27,188
Mm... no...
169
00:08:27,251 --> 00:08:29,077
- No?
- I...
170
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:32,261
I feel like I'm trap...
I'm being trapped, am I not?
171
00:08:33,102 --> 00:08:35,412
Then I'll do you a favor
and set you free.
172
00:08:35,708 --> 00:08:37,579
Idiot.
173
00:08:38,096 --> 00:08:40,433
Wait, don't leave.
Elizabeth!
174
00:08:40,463 --> 00:08:43,057
- I don't know why I just did that!
- I knew you couldn't change back!
175
00:08:43,076 --> 00:08:45,397
- But why are you wearing that shirt?!
- I'm not gonna let you make me feel
176
00:08:45,417 --> 00:08:47,574
bad about myself!
I love this shirt!
177
00:08:47,598 --> 00:08:49,448
Y2 Kitty Kat?
178
00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:51,223
I don't need this.
179
00:08:51,278 --> 00:08:52,955
I was fine before
you showed up.
180
00:08:52,970 --> 00:08:57,311
In fact, I said no to a date
tonight to be with you!
181
00:08:57,947 --> 00:08:59,784
I'm gonna
text him "Yes."
182
00:08:59,824 --> 00:09:01,346
And guess what.
183
00:09:01,358 --> 00:09:03,077
I don't care what you think.
184
00:09:03,214 --> 00:09:04,991
See ya, Schmidt.
185
00:09:05,206 --> 00:09:08,141
Without validation, the
parking rates are absurd.
186
00:09:13,143 --> 00:09:16,481
Jamie, enough with the globes.
We get it. You're angry.
187
00:09:16,768 --> 00:09:19,953
Okay, that's lunch. Be back in an hour.
188
00:09:20,792 --> 00:09:22,792
_
189
00:09:22,818 --> 00:09:24,050
Jess!
190
00:09:24,087 --> 00:09:25,916
- I'm Dr. Foster.
- Oh.
191
00:09:25,934 --> 00:09:31,958
Peg has gone on and on and
on and on and on about you.
192
00:09:31,976 --> 00:09:34,101
So nice to meet you. I'm just
running out for lunch...
193
00:09:34,119 --> 00:09:36,697
- Uh! No, no, need. No need.
- During the lunch that I...
194
00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:38,685
But you don't need.
195
00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:40,481
We can have lunch here.
196
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:44,069
My secretary is bringing food.
197
00:09:44,312 --> 00:09:46,561
So we'll have a
198
00:09:46,591 --> 00:09:49,427
chitchat, tête-à-tête,
199
00:09:49,470 --> 00:09:52,170
exchange-ideas
200
00:09:52,389 --> 00:09:53,726
kind of lunch.
201
00:09:53,738 --> 00:09:57,112
To see how you'll fit in
to the Coolidge culture.
202
00:09:57,134 --> 00:09:59,878
Um, well, long story short,
I really would love this job,
203
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:01,715
- I love teaching kids...
- Ha!
204
00:10:01,813 --> 00:10:05,607
Now, what if you weren't
referring to children...
205
00:10:06,012 --> 00:10:07,693
Oh. Uh-huh?
206
00:10:08,367 --> 00:10:10,617
- ...but to baby goats?
- Huh.
207
00:10:10,649 --> 00:10:12,658
That's an interesting question.
208
00:10:12,676 --> 00:10:13,722
Well,
209
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:16,376
we used to have a school goat
210
00:10:16,401 --> 00:10:17,899
- named Melvin.
- Uh...
211
00:10:17,911 --> 00:10:19,738
He hanged himself,
212
00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:21,533
tragically, on the swing set.
213
00:10:22,324 --> 00:10:23,780
So...
214
00:10:23,811 --> 00:10:26,239
we bought another goat.
215
00:10:26,351 --> 00:10:29,231
Also named Melvin.
216
00:10:30,762 --> 00:10:32,315
Surprise!
217
00:10:35,070 --> 00:10:37,045
Yeah, you can come out now!
218
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:40,245
I see some-some food over here.
Where my cake at?
219
00:10:40,687 --> 00:10:42,483
Hey, where my cake at?!
220
00:10:42,522 --> 00:10:45,451
I can hear you giggling,
I can see the...
221
00:10:45,535 --> 00:10:47,985
- Where's my sari?
- Something on your face. What's that,
222
00:10:48,010 --> 00:10:51,205
- like, a wedding tattoo? - What do you
mean there's something on my face?
223
00:10:56,302 --> 00:10:58,976
Wait-wait a minute. Hold-hold on,
hold on. What are you doing?
224
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,434
Lettuce, tomato, lettuce,
225
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:03,898
meat-meat-meat-meat-meat-
meat-meat-meat-meat,
226
00:11:04,024 --> 00:11:06,399
- cheese, lettuce.
- You're a sandwich genius.
227
00:11:06,490 --> 00:11:08,971
Is there anything you don't
know everything about?
228
00:11:08,983 --> 00:11:10,090
Try me.
229
00:11:10,115 --> 00:11:13,093
All right, I will try you.
I've got a question about
230
00:11:13,163 --> 00:11:14,494
- Yolanda Winston.
- Sure.
231
00:11:14,506 --> 00:11:16,868
Well, we've only slept
together once, but,
232
00:11:16,889 --> 00:11:18,413
Bob, I don't know
what she wants.
233
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:21,766
Well, the first thing you got to
figure out is what do you want.
234
00:11:22,165 --> 00:11:25,055
Well, I don't know how you get a
podcast, but you should look into it.
235
00:11:26,827 --> 00:11:27,627
Bob here.
236
00:11:27,656 --> 00:11:29,837
Hey, Dad, new plan.
Headed over to Cece's.
237
00:11:29,862 --> 00:11:32,528
- How's it going over there?
- Great. We're making sandwiches,
238
00:11:32,547 --> 00:11:33,953
we're talking about girls.
239
00:11:33,972 --> 00:11:35,929
Interesting. Could you hand
the phone to Nick?
240
00:11:35,948 --> 00:11:38,479
- Jess. Yeah, she wants to talk to you.
- Oh, cool. Jess!
241
00:11:38,497 --> 00:11:41,308
- What is going on over there, Nick?!
- Hanging out with my boy Bobby D.
242
00:11:41,336 --> 00:11:44,018
- Bobby D! I love that!
- Talking about girls?!
243
00:11:44,043 --> 00:11:46,067
That's the one thing you
should not be talking about!
244
00:11:46,077 --> 00:11:48,544
- You are freaking out about noth...
- Hey, you know what?
245
00:11:48,563 --> 00:11:50,976
I don't like what's happening here.
I am coming home.
246
00:11:53,260 --> 00:11:54,717
Just relax.
I think he really likes me.
247
00:11:54,742 --> 00:11:56,897
Oh, it's Cece.
I have to take this.
248
00:11:56,928 --> 00:11:57,987
Cece, hi.
249
00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:02,858
- What's going on?
- I fell asleep on my hand!
250
00:12:06,939 --> 00:12:08,152
Oh!
251
00:12:08,177 --> 00:12:10,571
It's not as bad as I thought.
252
00:12:11,749 --> 00:12:13,800
I'm getting married tomorrow,
and I look like Mike Tyson!
253
00:12:13,819 --> 00:12:16,541
Okay, nothing a little cotton
balls and olive oil can't fix.
254
00:12:16,553 --> 00:12:20,293
In a few minutes, we are gonna
laugh about this. We will laugh.
255
00:12:20,337 --> 00:12:21,536
Okay.
256
00:12:22,729 --> 00:12:25,230
- This is funny later.
- Okay.
257
00:12:25,283 --> 00:12:26,589
- Uh-huh.
- Oh, see?
258
00:12:26,617 --> 00:12:27,834
It's coming right off.
259
00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:35,467
Um...
260
00:12:39,641 --> 00:12:41,636
All gone?
261
00:12:44,289 --> 00:12:46,490
Burkas isn't you guys, is it?
262
00:12:48,255 --> 00:12:51,173
This girl really means
a lot to me, Bob.
263
00:12:51,269 --> 00:12:54,007
- And I just don't want to screw it up.
- Why would you screw it up?
264
00:12:54,026 --> 00:12:55,388
I don't want to make excuses,
265
00:12:55,406 --> 00:12:57,377
but my dad was kind of a...
266
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,402
a piece of...
267
00:13:00,064 --> 00:13:02,739
You know, truth be told, Bob,
I'm afraid I'm a lot like him.
268
00:13:02,758 --> 00:13:05,206
The mere fact that
you just said that
269
00:13:05,232 --> 00:13:07,413
means that you're nothing
like your old man.
270
00:13:07,849 --> 00:13:10,511
Any girl would be lucky
271
00:13:10,534 --> 00:13:12,265
- to have a guy like you.
- You mean that?
272
00:13:12,271 --> 00:13:13,777
Yes, I do.
273
00:13:15,496 --> 00:13:18,660
Think I'm gonna say something
that might make you real happy.
274
00:13:19,352 --> 00:13:21,553
That little girl I was
talking about,
275
00:13:21,578 --> 00:13:23,137
Yolanda?
276
00:13:23,782 --> 00:13:26,073
Her name isn't Yolanda.
277
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,459
It's Jess.
278
00:13:28,589 --> 00:13:30,514
She's your daughter.
279
00:13:31,421 --> 00:13:33,071
I'll kill you!
280
00:13:33,108 --> 00:13:35,201
You're dead! You're dead!
281
00:13:37,446 --> 00:13:40,801
Hi, you-you tattooed my friend
this morning for her wedding.
282
00:13:40,832 --> 00:13:42,939
Is there a quick way
of getting it off?
283
00:13:43,017 --> 00:13:45,098
Uh-huh. Okay!
284
00:13:46,302 --> 00:13:48,220
Um, wonderful. Thank
you so much, Dipti.
285
00:13:48,239 --> 00:13:49,972
That's awesome. Thanks.
286
00:13:50,031 --> 00:13:51,631
- It's not coming off.
- Nope, it's not.
287
00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:53,043
Absolutely not.
288
00:13:53,071 --> 00:13:54,690
Okay, look, um, Cece,
289
00:13:54,714 --> 00:13:56,454
I think maybe you
should call Shivrang.
290
00:13:56,610 --> 00:13:59,020
I don't want him to
see me like this, Jess!
291
00:13:59,032 --> 00:14:00,475
- Like, what have you done?!
- What I've done?
292
00:14:00,495 --> 00:14:02,142
You're the dummy who fell
asleep on your hands!
293
00:14:02,173 --> 00:14:04,664
I'm so sorry. That shouldn't
have come out of my mouth.
294
00:14:04,683 --> 00:14:08,177
That was really uncool. I've just
had a crazy 24 hours, and...
295
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,279
I slept with Nick last night.
296
00:14:10,304 --> 00:14:11,843
- You slept with Nick?
- I don't know.
297
00:14:11,856 --> 00:14:13,887
I think it might be the start of
something, like, really amazing.
298
00:14:13,899 --> 00:14:16,031
- Mm-hmm, sure. - I don't want to get my
hopes up, but it could be something.
299
00:14:16,052 --> 00:14:17,225
- Could not be something.
- Makes sense.
300
00:14:17,244 --> 00:14:19,500
- I don't know.
- I have a full beard!
301
00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:20,907
No.
302
00:14:20,978 --> 00:14:22,912
Oh, no, no.
303
00:14:22,944 --> 00:14:25,289
- I'm not scared of you, dude.
- What are you doing with that?
304
00:14:25,313 --> 00:14:27,877
Put that down;
I'm not gonna hurt you.
305
00:14:37,989 --> 00:14:38,996
Okay.
306
00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:40,504
Okay, conversation's over.
307
00:14:40,523 --> 00:14:42,934
Nick, hands up, back away.
What is this?
308
00:14:42,952 --> 00:14:45,302
- Dad, you're coming with me now.
- You want to get rid of me?
309
00:14:45,321 --> 00:14:47,807
- So you two can do it again?
- What?!
310
00:14:48,136 --> 00:14:51,067
You told him?! God, I knew
you would blurt it out.
311
00:14:51,092 --> 00:14:53,137
Shows how much you know;
I didn't blurt it out.
312
00:14:53,161 --> 00:14:55,560
- I told him on purpose.
- Why would you do that?!
313
00:14:55,566 --> 00:14:57,829
- What is wrong with you?!
- I wanted him to like me--
314
00:14:57,848 --> 00:15:00,272
in fact, I want all
fathers to like me.
315
00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:01,633
I wonder what that's about.
316
00:15:01,658 --> 00:15:03,282
W-What, do you owe
money on the rent?
317
00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:06,131
- I mean, what-what is going on here?
- Dad, I don't know what's going on.
318
00:15:06,137 --> 00:15:08,031
We haven't had a chance
to talk it out yet.
319
00:15:08,049 --> 00:15:09,487
- Well, when did this happen?
- Last night.
320
00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:10,793
- Nick!
- Why am I telling you this?
321
00:15:10,818 --> 00:15:14,540
Jess, why are you picking him?
He's a lazy, drunken cable thief.
322
00:15:14,559 --> 00:15:17,228
- Wh-What's wrong with Wilson?
- Dad, there's nothing wrong with Nick.
323
00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:19,722
- You don't even know him.
- I do know him.
324
00:15:19,778 --> 00:15:21,217
I know him.
325
00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:24,362
When I was young,
I was confused, I was lost,
326
00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:25,537
I had no plan.
327
00:15:25,568 --> 00:15:28,048
But I went ahead
and got married anyway.
328
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,257
And if I had figured things out
before I got married,
329
00:15:30,275 --> 00:15:32,401
I might still be
with your mother.
330
00:15:32,570 --> 00:15:34,338
So I do know you.
331
00:15:34,846 --> 00:15:36,502
You're not your father.
332
00:15:36,588 --> 00:15:38,056
You're me.
333
00:15:39,609 --> 00:15:42,718
And I'm not good enough
for my little girl.
334
00:15:44,565 --> 00:15:46,366
Yeah I got my own damn cake,
335
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,259
and you can't have none!
336
00:15:50,567 --> 00:15:53,539
- I got to... No, I really...
- Nick, wait, Nick...
337
00:15:53,881 --> 00:15:55,319
Damn it, Dad!
338
00:15:55,345 --> 00:15:57,117
You know I'm right.
339
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,192
Oh, I have to go.
340
00:16:02,209 --> 00:16:04,328
I have to go back to school now.
341
00:16:09,752 --> 00:16:13,422
You sure you want to be eating so
much cake with a body like that?
342
00:16:22,676 --> 00:16:24,243
Guys?
343
00:16:24,642 --> 00:16:26,392
Guys?
344
00:16:29,709 --> 00:16:31,340
I've had a bad day!
345
00:16:32,234 --> 00:16:33,672
Sit down!
346
00:16:33,692 --> 00:16:35,623
All of you!
347
00:16:36,503 --> 00:16:38,582
What is with everyone today?
348
00:16:38,602 --> 00:16:41,395
Everything started so good.
349
00:16:42,231 --> 00:16:43,794
Boy.
350
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:45,286
My roommate.
351
00:16:46,415 --> 00:16:48,582
It was good, I'm not gonna lie.
352
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:49,680
It was very good.
353
00:16:49,698 --> 00:16:52,442
But I can't date my dad.
354
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:58,121
Look...
355
00:16:58,952 --> 00:17:00,469
life's messy.
356
00:17:00,492 --> 00:17:01,560
It
357
00:17:01,585 --> 00:17:03,435
kicks you in the ass.
358
00:17:03,461 --> 00:17:06,254
That's right, I said "ass."
359
00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:08,537
But it does,
it kicks you in the ass.
360
00:17:08,568 --> 00:17:10,562
And, um...
361
00:17:11,174 --> 00:17:14,106
the messy parts are the...
362
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,745
best parts.
363
00:17:24,188 --> 00:17:25,813
Thank you, Miguel.
364
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:28,399
The gesture is very sweet.
365
00:17:28,598 --> 00:17:31,192
- These are very bad for you.
- I've got a car.
366
00:17:31,214 --> 00:17:32,934
I could take you to the movies.
367
00:17:33,622 --> 00:17:35,855
No, you don't...
You do?
368
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,691
Jess called you?
369
00:17:41,730 --> 00:17:43,492
Yeah, she said you needed me.
370
00:17:43,676 --> 00:17:47,185
She also told me to watch out for the
girl who looked like Mandy Patinkin
371
00:17:47,217 --> 00:17:49,243
We can't get married like this.
372
00:17:49,255 --> 00:17:51,829
Hey, look, if this is
our biggest problem,
373
00:17:51,994 --> 00:17:53,363
I'll take it.
374
00:17:53,394 --> 00:17:54,988
I'll make a call and fix it.
375
00:18:02,266 --> 00:18:05,341
Now that your mom's dead, do you
do all the landlording yourself?
376
00:18:09,481 --> 00:18:10,898
Uh-huh.
377
00:18:16,124 --> 00:18:17,809
You want to dance?
378
00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:21,616
I'm wearing the shirt
that you got me.
379
00:18:23,493 --> 00:18:25,974
Did you think I threw it away?
380
00:18:28,939 --> 00:18:30,583
Frogetaboutit.
381
00:18:30,759 --> 00:18:33,708
- Go home, Schmidt.
- I don't want to go home, Elizabeth.
382
00:18:34,058 --> 00:18:35,802
Look, I want to be with you.
383
00:18:35,965 --> 00:18:38,424
Anl-I don't care who knows it.
384
00:18:41,123 --> 00:18:42,686
Hey, Geppetto.
385
00:18:42,881 --> 00:18:44,581
Make with the "oom pah pah."
386
00:19:14,690 --> 00:19:17,942
We have a pump that can blow
that thing up in, like,
387
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,161
two seconds.
388
00:19:19,185 --> 00:19:22,461
I prefer to do this
the old-fashioned way.
389
00:19:22,701 --> 00:19:26,222
I know that's not the way things
are done around here.
390
00:19:26,403 --> 00:19:28,329
So long as I'm in town,
391
00:19:28,365 --> 00:19:31,764
I am going to sleep
between you and him.
392
00:19:31,783 --> 00:19:34,268
Dad, you don't have
to worry about me.
393
00:19:34,286 --> 00:19:36,172
I know you think
this is gonna be a mess,
394
00:19:36,190 --> 00:19:38,194
but it's my mess.
395
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:39,948
Jess,
396
00:19:40,091 --> 00:19:41,929
I'm your father
397
00:19:42,108 --> 00:19:44,934
I'll always worry about you.
398
00:19:56,315 --> 00:19:58,603
_
399
00:20:01,817 --> 00:20:05,303
♪ What do you say
400
00:20:05,381 --> 00:20:09,050
♪ Is this the time
401
00:20:09,455 --> 00:20:12,479
♪ For one more try
402
00:20:13,048 --> 00:20:15,883
♪ At a happy life...
403
00:20:17,740 --> 00:20:20,948
This was the breakfast I was
gonna give you this morning.
404
00:20:21,019 --> 00:20:24,374
♪ Is this unwise
405
00:20:24,980 --> 00:20:27,393
♪ To think my fears...
406
00:20:27,465 --> 00:20:29,521
Hey, um...
407
00:20:30,536 --> 00:20:33,174
I hope my dad didn't
get in your head.
408
00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:34,103
No.
409
00:20:34,127 --> 00:20:35,573
Uh, no, uh...
410
00:20:35,592 --> 00:20:38,740
Oh, look who took
the romance spot.
411
00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:42,951
We were just gonna match up constellations
with the mole patterns on my back.
412
00:20:43,164 --> 00:20:45,693
Then we're gonna get drunk and
try to find people doing it.
413
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:47,907
- Yeah.
- First come, first serve. Scram.
414
00:20:47,925 --> 00:20:50,226
Oh, is that how it is now?
415
00:20:50,285 --> 00:20:51,952
You just own the roof?
416
00:20:51,971 --> 00:20:53,914
Hey, what's everybody do...?
417
00:20:55,181 --> 00:20:56,717
You guys remembered?
418
00:20:56,741 --> 00:21:00,111
Oh, my good... This whole
time, I thought you guys forgot.
419
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,199
Is that a golden telescope?
420
00:21:02,544 --> 00:21:06,197
You know how much I love
to explore space and time, man!
421
00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:08,285
- Thank you! - Happy birthday!
- I love you.
422
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:10,935
- Happy birthday.
- Hey, happy birthday!
423
00:21:10,954 --> 00:21:13,170
It's the birthday boy.
424
00:21:13,298 --> 00:21:14,773
Come here, I'm gonna
set it up for you.
425
00:21:14,791 --> 00:21:17,229
- Why can't I have the telescope?
- But it's my telescope.
426
00:21:17,251 --> 00:21:20,169
Thought it was for me.
427
00:21:27,643 --> 00:21:29,431
- Get in, get into it, man.
- Yay, the birthday boy!
428
00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:32,981
- Get into it. - Get in there, birthday boy!
- Happy birthday, Winston.
429
00:21:36,885 --> 00:21:41,885
Sync and corrections by Norther
www.addic7ed.com