1 00:00:01,515 --> 00:00:03,040 Hey, guys! Hurry up! 2 00:00:03,059 --> 00:00:04,755 I'm the maid of honor and I have to be there early 3 00:00:04,774 --> 00:00:06,551 and I wanna get a picture in before we go. 4 00:00:06,568 --> 00:00:10,112 Miami Vice called and on the show... I don't know how to finish that joke. 5 00:00:10,130 --> 00:00:12,043 - What? - Ah, scratch it, scratch it. 6 00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:14,285 Winston, please. Your belly is on my hip. 7 00:00:14,304 --> 00:00:16,654 - Dad, can you come and take our picture? - All right. 8 00:00:16,671 --> 00:00:20,332 Having a little trouble getting off this air mattress. 9 00:00:20,367 --> 00:00:22,223 Oh, here we go. 10 00:00:22,276 --> 00:00:24,282 And we... okay. I'm off, I'm off. 11 00:00:24,302 --> 00:00:26,296 Here... where is it? All right, give me this. 12 00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:27,566 Let's do this. 13 00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:29,133 Okay, you ready? 14 00:00:29,139 --> 00:00:31,308 Scrunch together. There we go. 15 00:00:31,327 --> 00:00:32,902 No... 16 00:00:32,976 --> 00:00:35,495 - uh, Rick, move one step to your right. - Me? 17 00:00:35,501 --> 00:00:37,633 Yes, one step to your right. 18 00:00:37,802 --> 00:00:39,302 One more step to your right. 19 00:00:39,314 --> 00:00:41,790 - I can't go much further. - One more step to your right. 20 00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:43,807 Until you get into the hallway, 21 00:00:43,819 --> 00:00:46,740 - and then, once you get in the hallway... - No, I see what you're doing, dude. - Dad, 22 00:00:46,753 --> 00:00:49,766 - Very funny, buddy. - dad, we have to go... - ...go directly to the Chinatown trash can 23 00:00:49,784 --> 00:00:52,324 - where you got that suit. - There's nothing wrong with this suit. - Dad, we need to take the picture. 24 00:00:52,343 --> 00:00:53,782 I wore this at my high school graduation. 25 00:00:53,801 --> 00:00:57,144 - Nick, you're not doing yourself any favors. - I look very handsome. I look like I'm on Miami Vice. 26 00:00:57,162 --> 00:00:58,775 - Should I take the picture? - No, I'm not doing this. 27 00:00:58,793 --> 00:01:01,439 - He's getting on me about the suit. - You're ruining the picture. - Okay. 28 00:01:01,464 --> 00:01:02,864 I'm not doing it. I'm out of here. 29 00:01:02,876 --> 00:01:05,689 - Stop. Where are you going? - Was gonna do my cool poses. 30 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:08,226 You ready? One, two... 31 00:01:08,662 --> 00:01:11,382 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ 32 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,768 ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ Who's that girl? ♪ 33 00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,006 ♪ It's Jess. 34 00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:18,531 Sync and corrections by Norther www.addic7ed.com 35 00:01:19,325 --> 00:01:21,050 - You changed. - Check it out. 36 00:01:21,068 --> 00:01:22,524 Schmidt gave me his worst suit. 37 00:01:22,530 --> 00:01:25,458 He said, if I could get it over my thighs, he didn't want it. 38 00:01:25,464 --> 00:01:28,464 Miami Vice called, and this time, I answered. 39 00:01:28,482 --> 00:01:30,637 - Yeah? - Yeah! 40 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:33,864 I hope you're not doing all this 'cause of what my dad said. 41 00:01:33,882 --> 00:01:36,684 I don't think you're an unemployable alcoholic bummer. 42 00:01:36,703 --> 00:01:38,532 - What? - No, I don't think you're a child. 43 00:01:38,550 --> 00:01:41,577 - Whoa, when did he say that? - Hmm? 44 00:01:41,984 --> 00:01:43,291 - What? - Bob said that about me? 45 00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:44,703 Anyway, the point is... 46 00:01:44,722 --> 00:01:46,840 I don't think you're any of those things. 47 00:01:46,964 --> 00:01:49,146 We're at a wedding together. 48 00:01:49,194 --> 00:01:50,838 It's nice, right? You look great. 49 00:01:50,868 --> 00:01:52,633 Thanks. So do you. 50 00:01:52,682 --> 00:01:54,988 - I'm gonna go find Cece. - Yeah. 51 00:01:55,595 --> 00:01:58,508 All right, I guess we're doing that. 52 00:02:00,639 --> 00:02:03,970 There are so many fun, cool traditions at this thing. 53 00:02:03,988 --> 00:02:05,979 The groom comes in on a white horse. 54 00:02:05,992 --> 00:02:09,341 So, basically, they're just copying my Bar Mitzvah. 55 00:02:10,041 --> 00:02:11,435 Oh, my goodness. 56 00:02:11,697 --> 00:02:14,447 That is Bucky the Badger, Wisconsin's mascot. 57 00:02:14,484 --> 00:02:16,317 Yeah, I got a sweatshirt with his face on it, 58 00:02:16,352 --> 00:02:18,470 and he's wearing a sweatshirt with his face on it. 59 00:02:18,627 --> 00:02:21,082 Bucky cool. Bucky! 60 00:02:21,146 --> 00:02:22,840 He's got a super weird thing with badgers. 61 00:02:22,865 --> 00:02:24,527 Is that a real badger? 62 00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:27,488 Hey, the ceremony lasts for three hours, 63 00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:30,565 so you better go pee now. You know, your weak bladder. 64 00:02:30,578 --> 00:02:32,334 - You remembered. - Of course I did. 65 00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:35,159 Now I have to pee. Every time you say "pee," I have to pee. 66 00:02:36,205 --> 00:02:38,157 Thank you for coming. 67 00:02:40,651 --> 00:02:43,181 - Go pee. Okay. - I'm gonna. 68 00:02:43,303 --> 00:02:45,180 It's okay to be nervous. 69 00:02:45,226 --> 00:02:46,788 But nothing can go wrong. 70 00:02:46,807 --> 00:02:49,974 All you have to do is go out there, 71 00:02:50,277 --> 00:02:54,182 get married, and I will do the rest, okay? 72 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,758 Schmidt! 73 00:03:01,856 --> 00:03:03,371 Get out. 74 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:05,143 Well, this certainly isn't the bathroom. 75 00:03:05,171 --> 00:03:07,356 Get out. Get out. 76 00:03:11,777 --> 00:03:14,495 Guys, guys, shut up and listen to me-- it's Cece. 77 00:03:14,540 --> 00:03:16,528 - She doesn't want to get married. - Damn. - What happened? 78 00:03:16,553 --> 00:03:18,458 Well, her exact words were: "I don't want to marry Shivrang, 79 00:03:18,470 --> 00:03:21,670 "but my whole family has flown out here from all the way across the world. 80 00:03:21,688 --> 00:03:25,685 I can't back out now. Please, Schmidt, as my closest friend, help me." 81 00:03:25,710 --> 00:03:27,461 - What did Jess say? - Well, Jess didn't hear it-- 82 00:03:27,467 --> 00:03:28,691 Cece told me with her eyes. 83 00:03:28,704 --> 00:03:31,373 - Oh, so nothing happened. - Cool, so she's marrying Shivrang. - No, guys, I know Cece-- 84 00:03:31,391 --> 00:03:33,591 - I know her looks. - Schmidt, what were you doing back there? 85 00:03:33,609 --> 00:03:34,878 Cece's backing out of the wedding. 86 00:03:34,896 --> 00:03:36,334 - What? - It's true. She told me. 87 00:03:36,359 --> 00:03:38,203 - With her eyes. - Oh, my God. 88 00:03:38,209 --> 00:03:40,400 I thought you were talking about something real. Schmidt. 89 00:03:40,417 --> 00:03:42,063 The wedding's happening-- let her go. 90 00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:45,135 I have let her go. I'm with Elizabeth now and she's amazing. 91 00:03:45,147 --> 00:03:48,316 Look, Jess, I'm telling you this as Cece's friend and nothing more. 92 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:50,060 Cece loves Shivrang-- I know that 93 00:03:50,085 --> 00:03:51,690 'cause I know her better than you do. 94 00:03:51,708 --> 00:03:54,166 False. When you've had sexual congress with someone 95 00:03:54,171 --> 00:03:57,116 and you've peered into their soul at the exact moment of fulfillment... 96 00:03:57,129 --> 00:03:58,660 - Ew. - No, no, hear him out. 97 00:03:58,690 --> 00:04:00,810 Schmidt, listen up and listen good. 98 00:04:00,847 --> 00:04:03,466 You are not to talk to Cece, you are not to look at Cece, 99 00:04:03,490 --> 00:04:06,619 and you are not to have eye conversations with her. 100 00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:08,660 Or I will bust you. 101 00:04:08,737 --> 00:04:10,404 Hard. 102 00:04:10,434 --> 00:04:12,650 - And later, I'm gonna bust you hard. - Yeah, you are. 103 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:15,981 Good night, nurse. I've been naughty. 104 00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,659 Sorry, I didn't know-- you guys were supposed... 105 00:04:17,677 --> 00:04:18,971 not supposed to hear that, so... 106 00:04:18,996 --> 00:04:21,371 Bros ever before the ho. 107 00:04:21,396 --> 00:04:23,165 - Anybody have a jar? - I'm sorry, okay? 108 00:04:23,190 --> 00:04:25,642 But we have to sabotage this wedding. 109 00:04:25,659 --> 00:04:27,278 - Winston? - No, guys, look, 110 00:04:27,290 --> 00:04:29,921 you always bring me into these situations, and 111 00:04:29,953 --> 00:04:33,860 I get in over my head because I love pranks. 112 00:04:34,055 --> 00:04:35,674 I really do. I mean, you know that. 113 00:04:35,686 --> 00:04:39,174 - Yeah. - But look, it's time for me to just face the facts 114 00:04:39,203 --> 00:04:41,378 that I'm no good at them. 115 00:04:41,451 --> 00:04:45,043 You know, I'm 31 now, and it's time for me to cut the nonsense. 116 00:04:45,093 --> 00:04:47,570 You're 100% right, man, but just, I don't know... 117 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,996 what about today, just today... 118 00:04:50,212 --> 00:04:52,432 you give me full-on crazy? 119 00:04:53,014 --> 00:04:54,458 - Yeah! - You listen here! 120 00:04:54,496 --> 00:04:57,027 - Hey, hey, hey. Nobody's doing anything! - Yeah! - What? 121 00:04:57,058 --> 00:04:59,389 - What? - Jess asked us not to, 122 00:04:59,409 --> 00:05:03,220 so we are going to enjoy Cece's wedding like adults. 123 00:05:03,257 --> 00:05:05,736 So good night, nurse. 124 00:05:05,848 --> 00:05:07,749 Sorry for saying that. 125 00:05:07,865 --> 00:05:08,953 I am all... 126 00:05:08,984 --> 00:05:11,092 I'm all turned around. 127 00:05:11,291 --> 00:05:13,929 - We sabotaging this thing or what? - Absolutely. 128 00:05:19,244 --> 00:05:21,245 Hello, Auntie. 129 00:05:21,580 --> 00:05:23,886 This is embarrassing. 130 00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,936 I'll be right back. 131 00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:33,095 Excuse me, Elizabeth. Can I talk business? 132 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,679 - Yeah. - Thank you. 133 00:05:34,698 --> 00:05:36,714 - I want you to call it off. - What? 134 00:05:36,738 --> 00:05:39,781 Whatever you're planning on doing, don't do it. 135 00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:42,719 - This wedding means a lot to Jess. - What are you doing? 136 00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:44,492 What has happened to you? 137 00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,634 - You changed your suit, you're carrying her purse. - Yeah, I am. 138 00:05:46,658 --> 00:05:48,125 You're wearing deodorant 139 00:05:48,157 --> 00:05:49,687 - under both arms... - Both arms, yeah. 140 00:05:49,702 --> 00:05:53,765 Why are you trying so hard, man? Either Jess wants the real you or... 141 00:05:53,889 --> 00:05:55,715 or she don't. 142 00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:57,856 The real Nick would help me sabo this wedding. 143 00:05:57,909 --> 00:06:00,497 Is "sabo" short for sabotage, Schmidt? 144 00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:01,784 Why would you...? 145 00:06:01,809 --> 00:06:03,923 - I mean, why would you even say that? - I knew it was. I was being mean. 146 00:06:03,940 --> 00:06:06,783 - I was bullying you to get dominance in this moment. - You know it... of course you know... you know it is. 147 00:06:06,813 --> 00:06:08,081 - I want you to call it off. - You know it's... 148 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:12,421 - You know "sabo" is short for sabot... sabotage. - I know... I know... Hey, skin it and call it off. 149 00:06:12,444 --> 00:06:14,597 - You got it, man. - Thanks, man. 150 00:06:14,634 --> 00:06:17,107 - I'll call it off. No problem, Nicholas. - Thank you, buddy. I appreciate that. 151 00:06:17,138 --> 00:06:18,313 - Thank you. - Now. 152 00:06:18,351 --> 00:06:19,968 Now? 153 00:06:24,789 --> 00:06:26,237 Shivrang, hold on! 154 00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:27,940 Ow, my testicles! 155 00:06:27,961 --> 00:06:29,780 Don't get on the highway! 156 00:06:29,811 --> 00:06:32,949 Just reared up and just took off... 157 00:06:33,057 --> 00:06:36,367 I'm scared that it might have damaged me. - No, no, no, no damage. 158 00:06:36,398 --> 00:06:39,583 Are you enjoying the wedding festivities, Schmidt? 159 00:06:40,037 --> 00:06:42,890 What a spunky horse. 160 00:06:43,292 --> 00:06:46,505 I know you're responsible for the horse thing. 161 00:06:46,524 --> 00:06:48,211 - Was I? - Yes. 162 00:06:48,273 --> 00:06:49,695 - Was I? - Yes. 163 00:06:49,735 --> 00:06:51,886 - Was...? - Yes. 164 00:06:56,928 --> 00:06:58,912 - Was...? - Yes. 165 00:06:59,037 --> 00:07:01,071 - Was I? - Yes. 166 00:07:02,350 --> 00:07:03,851 Was I? 167 00:07:04,015 --> 00:07:05,337 Schmidt. 168 00:07:16,082 --> 00:07:17,796 ♪ If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe ♪ 169 00:07:17,834 --> 00:07:19,739 ♪ I'd been married a long time ago ♪ 170 00:07:19,758 --> 00:07:21,528 ♪ Where did you come from, where did you go? ♪ 171 00:07:21,546 --> 00:07:23,951 ♪ Where did you come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe? ♪ 172 00:07:25,982 --> 00:07:27,695 ♪ If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe... ♪ 173 00:07:27,727 --> 00:07:29,690 It's okay. Who are you working with? 174 00:07:29,719 --> 00:07:31,435 ♪ Where did you come from? Where did you go? ♪ 175 00:07:31,466 --> 00:07:32,511 ♪ Where did you come from... 176 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,766 Cotton-Eyed... 177 00:07:35,172 --> 00:07:36,679 Joe. 178 00:07:36,985 --> 00:07:39,135 ♪ Where did you come from, where did you go? ♪ 179 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:40,991 Winston, no! Don't do this. 180 00:07:40,997 --> 00:07:42,730 What's done is done, Nicholas. 181 00:07:44,361 --> 00:07:46,423 - Turn it off! - I couldn't stop it even if I wanted to. 182 00:07:46,448 --> 00:07:47,812 Turn it off! 183 00:07:47,974 --> 00:07:49,959 - Nick! - Pranks! 184 00:07:50,082 --> 00:07:51,535 - Wrong way! - What... What did you... 185 00:07:51,559 --> 00:07:52,829 Of course! 186 00:07:52,854 --> 00:07:55,343 Of course you were scheming with Schmidt. 187 00:07:55,355 --> 00:07:56,868 Jess, I didn't do anything. 188 00:07:56,905 --> 00:07:59,230 You think that Schmidt and Winston would be smart enough 189 00:07:59,255 --> 00:08:00,905 to duct-tape the sound board? 190 00:08:00,918 --> 00:08:02,374 That's brilliant! 191 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:05,304 Plus, we both know that this is your CD. 192 00:08:05,526 --> 00:08:07,317 ♪ Where did you come from, where did you go? ♪ 193 00:08:07,355 --> 00:08:08,950 ♪ Where did you come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe? ♪ 194 00:08:08,975 --> 00:08:11,156 Why did you need me for this? 195 00:08:11,435 --> 00:08:13,419 Nick? 196 00:08:14,339 --> 00:08:16,102 Winston must have taken that out of my car. 197 00:08:16,132 --> 00:08:18,472 How gullible do you think I am? You're fist-pumping right now. 198 00:08:18,491 --> 00:08:20,803 - No, I'm not fist-pumping. - Yes, you are. 199 00:08:20,845 --> 00:08:22,417 Aah! 200 00:08:22,651 --> 00:08:25,715 - It's so freaking catchy. - I thought I could count on you. 201 00:08:25,734 --> 00:08:28,803 - I thought things would be different now. - How could you think I would do this 202 00:08:28,827 --> 00:08:31,008 - at your best friend's wedding? - Because it's exactly 203 00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:32,821 the type of thing that you do. 204 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:36,768 - A stupid, childish prank. - Oh, childish? 205 00:08:38,399 --> 00:08:39,869 You're right. 206 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:41,545 I'm a child. 207 00:08:43,674 --> 00:08:45,854 - Great sabo, man! - I'm so good at pranks, man. 208 00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:48,226 - I feel alive. - Really good... 209 00:08:48,802 --> 00:08:49,833 Phase three. 210 00:08:49,845 --> 00:08:52,846 What's phase three? Whatever it is, I'm in. 211 00:08:52,877 --> 00:08:55,750 Let's do this. 212 00:09:10,472 --> 00:09:12,276 - Uh, hey, Jess? - Hmm? 213 00:09:12,326 --> 00:09:14,070 - We went too far. - What? 214 00:09:14,233 --> 00:09:16,102 - It's bad. - How bad? 215 00:09:16,245 --> 00:09:18,209 It's really bad. 216 00:09:22,573 --> 00:09:23,835 Schmidt... 217 00:09:23,882 --> 00:09:25,953 - What did you do? - It was Winston's idea. 218 00:09:25,972 --> 00:09:27,147 Oh, my God. 219 00:09:27,171 --> 00:09:30,382 I'm really sorry, okay? I didn't want anybody to get hurt, but it's too late now. 220 00:09:30,417 --> 00:09:32,717 - It's bigger than all of us. - Tell me everything. 221 00:09:32,736 --> 00:09:35,235 Or, so help me God, I will mess up your hair. 222 00:09:35,254 --> 00:09:37,000 Your precious hair. 223 00:09:37,298 --> 00:09:39,823 - Winston's in the... - What? 224 00:09:39,867 --> 00:09:42,947 - Winston's in... - What? Say it louder. Say it louder. 225 00:09:42,959 --> 00:09:45,986 Winston is in the air ducts with a badger. 226 00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:48,088 - What?! - Nick's there, too. 227 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,527 Ah, Nick. 228 00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:51,774 You've never gone along with one of my pranks before. 229 00:09:51,807 --> 00:09:53,938 This is exciting. 230 00:09:53,963 --> 00:09:57,144 I never noticed, but you kind of have a girl butt. Is that weird to say? 231 00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,999 This priest is never gonna know what hit him. 232 00:09:59,028 --> 00:10:00,786 Wait, that is the plan? 233 00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:03,134 You're gonna drop a badger on a priest? 234 00:10:03,146 --> 00:10:05,336 Oh! He's mad. 235 00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:07,053 That can't be the plan, man! 236 00:10:07,086 --> 00:10:10,574 - What did you do? What did you do? What did you do? - I deserve this. I deserve this. I deserve this, okay? 237 00:10:10,593 --> 00:10:12,949 It's just, when Nick got involved, it became too big. 238 00:10:12,971 --> 00:10:14,960 What? What do you mean, "when Nick got involved"? 239 00:10:14,991 --> 00:10:17,019 - He wasn't always involved? - No. He said no. 240 00:10:17,056 --> 00:10:19,931 He said, "Jess means too much to me," or some crapola like that. 241 00:10:19,956 --> 00:10:21,494 - What are you doing? - Calling Nick. 242 00:10:21,512 --> 00:10:23,290 Jess, he's in the ducts! 243 00:10:23,312 --> 00:10:24,562 The ducts! 244 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:27,035 - Beautiful ceremony. - Happy day. 245 00:10:28,154 --> 00:10:30,348 - The ducts! - I know where he is, Schmidt. 246 00:10:32,626 --> 00:10:34,686 - What? No, no. - That's my phone. 247 00:10:34,712 --> 00:10:36,678 - I said no phones. - I know. I'm gonna get it. 248 00:10:36,696 --> 00:10:38,028 They can track us with phones. 249 00:10:38,046 --> 00:10:40,259 What is going...? Relax. You're so weird with pranks. 250 00:10:40,272 --> 00:10:41,704 - What is going on with you? - Put the phone away! 251 00:10:41,735 --> 00:10:44,430 I'm trying to! I'm trying to turn it off, you idiot! 252 00:10:44,454 --> 00:10:46,805 Oh... no. 253 00:10:46,862 --> 00:10:48,062 - What's going on? - Uh... 254 00:10:48,074 --> 00:10:49,612 Bucky got out of his cage, man. 255 00:10:49,633 --> 00:10:52,304 - No! No! I'm getting out of here! - Let's go get him. No, you're coming with me. 256 00:10:52,329 --> 00:10:54,672 You got to help me find the badger, Nick! 257 00:10:54,701 --> 00:10:57,607 - You don't be no bitch! - I want out of this place! 258 00:10:57,625 --> 00:10:58,631 Bucky! 259 00:10:58,662 --> 00:11:00,173 God bless both of you. 260 00:11:00,196 --> 00:11:02,731 May he shower you with many, many children. 261 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:05,329 Ugh, he's not picking up. 262 00:11:05,353 --> 00:11:07,453 - Of course he's not picking up. He's in the... - Don't say it. 263 00:11:07,476 --> 00:11:09,089 ...ducts. 264 00:11:09,538 --> 00:11:10,742 He's in the ducts. 265 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,954 Nick, stop being a bitch! Don't be no bitch! 266 00:11:13,972 --> 00:11:14,829 Bucky! 267 00:11:14,855 --> 00:11:15,978 - I'm going up there. - Okay, good. 268 00:11:15,998 --> 00:11:17,504 'Cause I really don't want to go up there. Look, 269 00:11:17,524 --> 00:11:20,535 I'm the kind of guy that likes to enjoy the AC, not see how the sausage is made. 270 00:11:20,553 --> 00:11:23,165 Seriously, Schmidt? Shut up and give me a boost. 271 00:11:24,938 --> 00:11:26,141 Bucky... 272 00:11:26,390 --> 00:11:27,880 Aah. 273 00:11:29,508 --> 00:11:31,733 - Winston! - Nick, where are you? 274 00:11:31,751 --> 00:11:33,232 - Marco... - Polo! 275 00:11:33,258 --> 00:11:34,746 I don't want to play that. 276 00:11:35,177 --> 00:11:37,283 - No! - Nick, it's me! 277 00:11:37,339 --> 00:11:38,885 Nick, it's me! 278 00:11:38,910 --> 00:11:40,718 Jess, what are you doing here? 279 00:11:40,749 --> 00:11:43,065 Look, I-I know you didn't plan the sabotage, 280 00:11:43,088 --> 00:11:45,940 and I know you're doing this just to get back at me, but please don't do this. 281 00:11:45,958 --> 00:11:49,042 Jess, it's not about the sabotage, okay? 282 00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:52,241 It's about the fact that you think I'm gonna screw up everything I touch. 283 00:11:52,260 --> 00:11:53,741 - No, Nick, I don't. - You know what, Jess? 284 00:11:53,766 --> 00:11:56,188 This is where I belong. 285 00:11:56,430 --> 00:11:59,355 With Winston and a badger. 286 00:11:59,374 --> 00:12:02,510 All right, Nick, look, let's just go get the badger and get out of here. 287 00:12:02,523 --> 00:12:04,674 Can't get the badger because it's loose. 288 00:12:04,730 --> 00:12:05,599 What?! 289 00:12:05,617 --> 00:12:08,060 Hey, Jess, welcome, welcome. 290 00:12:08,072 --> 00:12:09,285 No! Jess! 291 00:12:09,303 --> 00:12:11,866 You know, I'm just staying positive, but, uh... 292 00:12:11,885 --> 00:12:14,491 - I'm pretty sure this is where we die. - Winston! 293 00:12:14,518 --> 00:12:17,071 When you complete the seven circles, 294 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,270 you will be officially married. 295 00:12:19,304 --> 00:12:21,555 You don't have to walk so fast, you know. 296 00:12:28,575 --> 00:12:30,225 Guys? 297 00:12:30,678 --> 00:12:32,103 Guys, you know... 298 00:12:32,122 --> 00:12:34,708 I've been thinking a lot about the Earth. 299 00:12:34,851 --> 00:12:37,178 We got to leave it better than when we found it. 300 00:12:37,197 --> 00:12:39,627 Is this what you wanted your life to be? 301 00:12:39,645 --> 00:12:42,577 Is this how you wanted to enjoy your best friend's wedding? 302 00:12:42,602 --> 00:12:44,659 Nick, look, no. Stop that. 303 00:12:44,683 --> 00:12:47,833 - I am not a healthy person. - Yeah, I know. I know, Nick. 304 00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,170 Oh, you do? 305 00:12:49,188 --> 00:12:51,741 - So a part of you agrees with your dad. - No. 306 00:12:51,765 --> 00:12:54,078 - Just... oh, my... - Okay. We got to get out of here. 307 00:12:54,091 --> 00:12:57,866 ...lovely ceremony with all your family and friends. 308 00:12:58,116 --> 00:13:00,318 Tell me that there isn't a small part of you 309 00:13:00,337 --> 00:13:01,970 that's scared that I'm too much of a mess. 310 00:13:01,996 --> 00:13:05,065 - We have to go. - That this thing is a mistake. 311 00:13:05,415 --> 00:13:06,999 You and me. 312 00:13:08,929 --> 00:13:11,465 Just admit it, Jess. 313 00:13:12,773 --> 00:13:14,774 Yes, there is a small part. 314 00:13:16,315 --> 00:13:17,533 Yeah. 315 00:13:18,021 --> 00:13:19,590 But... 316 00:13:20,518 --> 00:13:22,239 Run! 317 00:13:27,243 --> 00:13:28,537 Oh, my... 318 00:13:31,291 --> 00:13:33,310 - It's okay. - Jess? 319 00:13:33,344 --> 00:13:35,630 Always a bridesmaid... 320 00:13:41,401 --> 00:13:44,238 Aah! Something touched my leg! 321 00:13:44,405 --> 00:13:49,058 You know, sometimes I feel like I never really felt love, you know? 322 00:13:49,893 --> 00:13:51,760 Do you know? 323 00:13:54,435 --> 00:13:56,189 Hey! Hey, hey, everybody. 324 00:13:56,222 --> 00:13:59,657 Hi. Hi. I'm Jessica Day. I'm the, uh, maid of honor. 325 00:13:59,675 --> 00:14:02,681 I'm also the person who fell through the roof with my friend Nick Miller here. 326 00:14:02,699 --> 00:14:04,820 Um, I have a few things to say. 327 00:14:04,926 --> 00:14:08,402 Um, there might be a badger on the loose, but I have my best people on it. 328 00:14:08,427 --> 00:14:10,146 I'm on it. Don't scare the badger! 329 00:14:10,165 --> 00:14:11,755 - Schmidty, help me! - Okay! 330 00:14:13,115 --> 00:14:14,871 - Funnel it into the mandap! - Okay. 331 00:14:14,902 --> 00:14:16,768 Hey, guys. He's in the ninth row. 332 00:14:16,780 --> 00:14:18,343 He is headed north. 333 00:14:19,079 --> 00:14:21,725 Where were we? Um, Your Honor, please tell us where we were. 334 00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:23,888 We were on the seventh circle. 335 00:14:23,995 --> 00:14:25,055 So close. 336 00:14:25,067 --> 00:14:26,361 Great. Cece, go. 337 00:14:26,386 --> 00:14:28,994 - Jess, you don't have to fix this. - Fix what? 338 00:14:29,094 --> 00:14:32,129 This is a perfect day. 339 00:14:38,808 --> 00:14:42,079 I'm sorry, everyone, but I can't do this. 340 00:14:42,761 --> 00:14:45,698 And it's not because of the horse. 341 00:14:45,966 --> 00:14:48,203 Or the badger. 342 00:14:48,448 --> 00:14:50,649 Or "Cotton-Eyed Joe." 343 00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:54,990 This isn't what I want. 344 00:14:56,691 --> 00:14:59,727 What I want is to be with someone else. 345 00:15:03,583 --> 00:15:05,703 Shivrang, I feel terrible. I'm sorry. 346 00:15:05,722 --> 00:15:07,016 No... 347 00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:09,416 No, Cece, it is okay. 348 00:15:09,830 --> 00:15:12,282 In fact, it's more than okay. 349 00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:15,385 I don't know why I didn't tell you the truth ages ago, but... 350 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,332 but I want to be with someone else, too. 351 00:15:17,349 --> 00:15:19,567 - Really? - Yes. 352 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,223 I have tried to forget you, Elaine-- really, I have-- 353 00:15:23,241 --> 00:15:25,360 - but I just can't. - Who the hell is Elaine? 354 00:15:25,379 --> 00:15:27,393 And I don't care what my family says. 355 00:15:27,412 --> 00:15:30,601 I want to marry you in a Presbyterian church. 356 00:15:32,738 --> 00:15:34,358 Oh, Shivvy. 357 00:15:34,472 --> 00:15:36,712 I've loved you since the first grade. 358 00:15:36,739 --> 00:15:40,156 And I'm so lonely without you. I just lay awake at night, and I just write about you 359 00:15:40,174 --> 00:15:42,900 in my journal, and I paint pictures of you on my easel. 360 00:15:42,918 --> 00:15:45,092 I want our children to be photographers and... 361 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,001 and backpack across Europe. 362 00:15:47,296 --> 00:15:49,314 Will you take me away from this madness? 363 00:15:49,332 --> 00:15:52,422 And you are not too short for me. I don't care what your mother says. 364 00:15:52,467 --> 00:15:54,261 Oh, Elaine! 365 00:15:54,589 --> 00:15:55,618 Come! 366 00:15:55,630 --> 00:15:57,571 Let's go to Vegas and elope! 367 00:16:01,603 --> 00:16:03,747 I feel slightly rejected. 368 00:16:04,166 --> 00:16:05,491 Well... 369 00:16:05,516 --> 00:16:08,779 - you were slightly rejected. - Yeah. 370 00:16:09,047 --> 00:16:10,998 You okay? 371 00:16:11,374 --> 00:16:13,723 Well, I'm not as good as Elaine. 372 00:16:13,879 --> 00:16:15,400 Who could be? 373 00:16:16,232 --> 00:16:18,308 I feel better than I've felt in a long time. 374 00:16:18,332 --> 00:16:20,577 Good. I'm glad. 375 00:16:22,044 --> 00:16:23,853 Boobies. 376 00:16:25,441 --> 00:16:28,041 I don't think the badger's actually rabid. I think, um... 377 00:16:28,060 --> 00:16:30,310 he's just kind of a dick. So... 378 00:16:32,140 --> 00:16:33,891 Hey, Nick. 379 00:16:34,599 --> 00:16:36,518 - You okay? - Me? Yeah. 380 00:16:36,549 --> 00:16:38,009 You mean from the fall? 381 00:16:38,037 --> 00:16:40,268 Yeah. And... 382 00:16:40,768 --> 00:16:43,987 - what we talked about. - Yeah. Look, Jess, it's not... 383 00:16:44,032 --> 00:16:45,819 you know, that big of a deal. 384 00:16:45,848 --> 00:16:47,982 And we tried. It's just... 385 00:16:50,775 --> 00:16:53,401 You might be right about your fears, you know, it's... 386 00:16:53,419 --> 00:16:54,594 Just... 387 00:16:54,619 --> 00:16:56,387 just say it. 388 00:16:56,569 --> 00:16:59,559 I-I think we should call it, you know? 389 00:17:00,023 --> 00:17:02,340 It's not like we're in love or anything. 390 00:17:03,519 --> 00:17:05,687 We had one night. 391 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,975 Okay, let's call it. 392 00:17:13,021 --> 00:17:15,721 I think that feels good to me. 393 00:17:15,763 --> 00:17:17,633 Does that feel good to you? 394 00:17:26,724 --> 00:17:28,426 But you must have feelings for her. 395 00:17:28,439 --> 00:17:30,661 You tried to sabotage her wedding. 396 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:33,274 I sabotaged her wedding as a friend. 397 00:17:33,464 --> 00:17:36,222 I didn't want her to marry someone else 398 00:17:36,247 --> 00:17:37,737 as a friend. 399 00:17:37,828 --> 00:17:39,503 It's only mantic because it's a wedding. 400 00:17:39,509 --> 00:17:41,839 I would be just as happy to sabotage, I don't know... 401 00:17:41,892 --> 00:17:44,242 - let's say, her tax audit. - Schmidt. 402 00:17:44,774 --> 00:17:46,743 Weird day, huh? 403 00:17:47,018 --> 00:17:48,476 It's a beautiful wedding, Cece. 404 00:17:48,547 --> 00:17:50,181 - Thank you. - It was Schmidt 405 00:17:50,209 --> 00:17:52,838 that you were talking about, right? 406 00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:58,024 It was. 407 00:17:59,738 --> 00:18:01,438 I'm-I'm sorry, Elizabeth. 408 00:18:01,457 --> 00:18:04,345 Don't be sorry. It's not your problem. It's Schmidt's. 409 00:18:04,398 --> 00:18:06,704 - Why is it... Why is it my problem? - Who's it gonna be? 410 00:18:06,722 --> 00:18:08,794 Me or her? 411 00:18:09,128 --> 00:18:10,853 No, she's right. 412 00:18:11,019 --> 00:18:14,075 - You have to choose. - We're gonna do this now? 413 00:18:14,724 --> 00:18:17,964 But can... can we sleep on it, maybe? Maybe take the night? 414 00:18:18,178 --> 00:18:19,191 I've got... 415 00:18:19,216 --> 00:18:22,383 I just got this brand-new Coldplay bootleg. Live from Rotterdam. 416 00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:24,563 What if we just make some pasta and really listen to it? 417 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,524 Are you in love with her or are you in love with me? 418 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:31,089 You have to decide. 419 00:18:39,312 --> 00:18:40,630 Can I get a beer? 420 00:18:40,649 --> 00:18:42,436 - Heisler? - Perfect. 421 00:19:00,162 --> 00:19:02,080 - Hey, man. - Hey. 422 00:19:03,068 --> 00:19:04,935 Bucky bit me. 423 00:19:05,055 --> 00:19:06,711 - Bit me bad. - Hmm. 424 00:19:06,735 --> 00:19:08,782 Yeah. So, um... 425 00:19:09,183 --> 00:19:11,017 so I'm pretty dizzy. 426 00:19:11,890 --> 00:19:13,759 Okay. 427 00:19:14,107 --> 00:19:16,695 Okay, what happened with Jess? 428 00:19:17,237 --> 00:19:18,750 We called it. 429 00:19:18,774 --> 00:19:20,575 And she left. 430 00:19:21,449 --> 00:19:24,060 Yeah, we-we called it off. 431 00:19:24,377 --> 00:19:28,683 So, now I'm gonna drink, because that's my move. 432 00:19:29,453 --> 00:19:32,360 Yeah. That was also your dad's move. 433 00:19:34,793 --> 00:19:38,509 Yeah, when things get messy, you just run away. 434 00:19:40,344 --> 00:19:42,979 But, you know, there are other moves. 435 00:19:48,575 --> 00:19:49,858 Go. 436 00:19:51,548 --> 00:19:53,181 Thanks, man. 437 00:19:56,138 --> 00:19:58,703 Hey, bartender, can you call an ambulance? 438 00:19:58,794 --> 00:20:00,466 I'm about to bleed out. 439 00:20:00,485 --> 00:20:02,247 Thanks, man. 440 00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:11,454 Look, I know you think we should call it, 441 00:20:11,472 --> 00:20:13,626 but I don't want to give up on this, 442 00:20:13,644 --> 00:20:16,158 even if we don't know what this is. 443 00:20:17,665 --> 00:20:19,874 I want to un-call it. 444 00:20:20,417 --> 00:20:23,342 Please, can we un-call it? 445 00:20:24,702 --> 00:20:26,926 Before you say no... 446 00:20:29,237 --> 00:20:31,288 Don't say no. 447 00:20:48,006 --> 00:20:51,006 ♪ Down, down in my bones... 448 00:20:51,037 --> 00:20:52,276 Hey, give me the keys. 449 00:20:52,304 --> 00:20:54,869 - Where are we going? - I don't know. 450 00:20:55,451 --> 00:20:57,351 Where did we come from? 451 00:20:57,731 --> 00:20:59,048 Where do we go? 452 00:20:59,067 --> 00:21:02,240 - Where did we come from? - Shut up. 453 00:21:02,937 --> 00:21:05,238 Yeah, that was "Cotton-Eyed Joe," wasn't it? 454 00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:08,820 ♪ You talk to me... 455 00:21:09,544 --> 00:21:11,232 I felt like something was gonna happen. 456 00:21:11,409 --> 00:21:13,038 - Let's go! - Let's go! 457 00:21:13,106 --> 00:21:15,669 ♪ So let's go to bed 458 00:21:15,688 --> 00:21:18,013 ♪ Before you say something real... ♪ 459 00:21:18,056 --> 00:21:19,419 Turn left. 460 00:21:19,450 --> 00:21:22,450 - No, I'm going to make three rights. - No, Nick, just turn left! 461 00:21:22,469 --> 00:21:24,212 No, it's slower my way. 462 00:21:24,291 --> 00:21:26,085 Why would you want to go slower? 463 00:21:26,109 --> 00:21:28,588 ♪ 'Cause it's you 464 00:21:28,702 --> 00:21:32,386 ♪ Oh, it's always you 465 00:21:35,654 --> 00:21:40,654 Sync and corrections by Norther www.addic7ed.com