1
00:00:01,410 --> 00:00:03,752
So I've been thinking
a lot about it, and...
2
00:00:04,034 --> 00:00:07,097
I'd really like to start calling
you "Shorty" in public.
3
00:00:07,478 --> 00:00:09,937
By the way, my office is throwing
a party tomorrow, and I would...
4
00:00:09,963 --> 00:00:11,993
- I'd really like for you to be there.
- Well, I have a photo shoot,
5
00:00:11,999 --> 00:00:14,187
- but I think I could come after that.
- Oh, yeah, well,
6
00:00:14,355 --> 00:00:15,618
that sounds good.
7
00:00:15,704 --> 00:00:17,524
- Who's that?
- Hmm?
8
00:00:18,426 --> 00:00:20,989
It's my doctor. Uh, D-Dr. Cover.
9
00:00:21,019 --> 00:00:24,611
Doc-Doctor Wyland Cover.
He's my oncologist.
10
00:00:25,064 --> 00:00:26,920
- He's an oncologist.
- Hey,
11
00:00:26,945 --> 00:00:28,583
you guys know
anything about cats?
12
00:00:28,602 --> 00:00:30,126
Yeah, I'm trying to score
some points with Daisy,
13
00:00:30,145 --> 00:00:31,458
so I promised to watch
her cat tonight.
14
00:00:31,471 --> 00:00:33,406
They carry disease, they're
obsessed with my nipples,
15
00:00:33,421 --> 00:00:35,365
and they are unwelcome
in this loft.
16
00:00:35,385 --> 00:00:38,054
Did you just say that cats are
obsessed with your nipples?
17
00:00:38,077 --> 00:00:39,877
I've told you this story before.
18
00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:48,453
I think I would have remembered
that story.
19
00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:49,635
No cats.
20
00:00:50,478 --> 00:00:52,528
Come on, bangs, you
sons of bitches.
21
00:00:52,547 --> 00:00:54,335
- Here, let me do 'em, Jess.
- What?
22
00:00:55,005 --> 00:00:56,557
- Nick, Nick, stop.
- What?
23
00:00:56,576 --> 00:00:58,251
- Stop, you're gonna ruin it.
- I'm not gonna ruin...
24
00:00:58,274 --> 00:01:00,762
- I was... I was making 'em look prettier.
- - No, you weren't.
25
00:01:00,859 --> 00:01:02,983
- Then they look perfect as is.
- Can I ask you a question?
26
00:01:02,990 --> 00:01:04,608
Absolutely... we having
this thing right now?
27
00:01:04,639 --> 00:01:06,833
- Do I look okay?
- Do you look okay?
28
00:01:06,902 --> 00:01:08,515
- Yeah.
- Hell yeah!
29
00:01:08,533 --> 00:01:11,108
- I want to put it on you.
- On? Put it on me?
30
00:01:11,118 --> 00:01:13,258
Yeah, on... I stand by that.
31
00:01:13,565 --> 00:01:15,399
I'd like to put it on you.
32
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,331
What is wrong, Jess?
33
00:01:17,348 --> 00:01:19,895
I've been at this new
school for a week now
34
00:01:19,957 --> 00:01:21,907
and I still haven't made
any friends.
35
00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:25,818
There's, like, a clique of
teachers, and they run the school.
36
00:01:25,987 --> 00:01:28,625
♪ You keep bumpin' me
against the wall ♪
37
00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,534
♪ Yeah, I know I let
you slide before ♪
38
00:01:30,572 --> 00:01:34,035
♪ Hey, but until you
seen me, trust me ♪
39
00:01:34,057 --> 00:01:36,032
♪ You ain't seen bouncin' back ♪
40
00:01:36,188 --> 00:01:38,313
♪ You keep bumpin' me
against the wall ♪
41
00:01:38,646 --> 00:01:40,314
I just want them to like me.
42
00:01:40,342 --> 00:01:41,810
I know it sounds dumb, but...
43
00:01:41,833 --> 00:01:43,196
Leave it to me. I'll fix it.
44
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:45,591
You're Nick Miller's girl now.
You're my old lady.
45
00:01:45,610 --> 00:01:47,376
- What?
- Whatever you need, you got it.
46
00:01:47,394 --> 00:01:49,118
Why are you talking like
a James Taylor song?
47
00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:49,993
I don't know.
48
00:01:50,017 --> 00:01:52,401
Hey, either of you guys
know anything about cats?
49
00:01:52,411 --> 00:01:55,334
Oh, my God, Schmidt has
the greatest cat story!
50
00:01:55,779 --> 00:01:58,092
- Ugh, I was there... it's disgusting.
- You shut your damn mouth, Jess.
51
00:01:58,104 --> 00:02:00,529
- Thought it was cute...
- Oh, grow up!
52
00:02:00,708 --> 00:02:02,461
Nothing came out.
53
00:02:03,759 --> 00:02:05,229
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
54
00:02:05,261 --> 00:02:07,264
♪ Who's that girl ♪
♪ It's Jess ♪
55
00:02:07,277 --> 00:02:09,777
3.02 - Nerd
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
56
00:02:09,802 --> 00:02:12,302
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
57
00:02:13,113 --> 00:02:15,479
You know what? I've never
actually seen you this happy.
58
00:02:16,176 --> 00:02:17,988
- Who are you?
- I don't know, it's weird.
59
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:20,031
I've never seen you smile. Ever.
60
00:02:20,070 --> 00:02:21,895
This is the first time.
It's not bad.
61
00:02:21,908 --> 00:02:23,945
- I mean, it's not great.
- Yeah, I agree.
62
00:02:23,976 --> 00:02:25,000
Somewhere right in the middle.
63
00:02:25,027 --> 00:02:26,832
- Hey, can I ask you something?
- Of course.
64
00:02:26,856 --> 00:02:28,450
Hypothetically speaking,
65
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:31,759
what if you met somebody that
you... that you liked, uh,
66
00:02:31,863 --> 00:02:34,016
- just as much as Jess?
- Schmidt, stop.
67
00:02:34,083 --> 00:02:36,122
Okay, you picked Cece,
so let Elizabeth go.
68
00:02:36,146 --> 00:02:37,586
Initially I said
"hypothetically," so just...
69
00:02:37,607 --> 00:02:39,695
Do you know a place I can
get cheap school supplies?
70
00:02:39,705 --> 00:02:42,891
I only have $15 and a halfie...
$15 and a halfie.
71
00:02:42,926 --> 00:02:44,846
- A halfie?
- Yeah, it's a half.
72
00:02:44,872 --> 00:02:47,610
- It got ripped, so it's a half.
- No one's gonna accept that as currency.
73
00:02:47,874 --> 00:02:48,940
Hey, what's up, guys?
74
00:02:48,963 --> 00:02:50,912
- Did you press the button?
- I thought you pressed the button!
75
00:02:50,923 --> 00:02:52,592
What is wrong with you?!
76
00:02:53,246 --> 00:02:55,609
- What did you do when you walked in?
- Talked to you.
77
00:02:55,641 --> 00:02:57,402
Guys, I'm gonna go
pick up Daisy's cat.
78
00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,344
You know, you don't just ask anybody
to take care of your cat.
79
00:02:59,363 --> 00:03:02,268
That's a very serious thing, so I
decided I'm gonna go over there
80
00:03:02,287 --> 00:03:05,518
and I'm gonna ask Daisy
to be my girlfriend.
81
00:03:05,716 --> 00:03:07,087
- You are?
- Whoa!
82
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,600
- Yeah.
- Major move!
83
00:03:08,619 --> 00:03:10,678
- Good stuff.
- Look at you, man.
84
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,097
So I'm just gonna go over there
and I'm gonna tell Daisy,
85
00:03:13,129 --> 00:03:17,982
"Listen, my heart is a two-man bike,
and I want you in the rear."
86
00:03:19,177 --> 00:03:21,290
- What do you think?
- Winston, don't say that.
87
00:03:21,340 --> 00:03:23,242
You want her in your...?
You can say "the rear."
88
00:03:23,267 --> 00:03:25,567
- You don't want her in your rear.
- No, don't say "the rear" at any time.
89
00:03:25,594 --> 00:03:26,706
- You guys are just jealous.
- What?
90
00:03:26,727 --> 00:03:28,075
You guys are gonna
steal my swag.
91
00:03:28,098 --> 00:03:30,705
I wouldn't even know how
to begin to steal a swag.
92
00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:34,140
- I thought you pressed the button.
- I've been way over here.
93
00:03:34,819 --> 00:03:36,632
- I-I haven't pressed...
- I'll press the button.
94
00:03:36,699 --> 00:03:38,212
Last night,
95
00:03:38,281 --> 00:03:40,534
I rectified our budget
96
00:03:40,567 --> 00:03:45,520
while taking a long
soak in my new Jacooz.
97
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,496
My elbows are as soft as babies.
98
00:03:48,523 --> 00:03:50,767
I love a soft elbow.
99
00:03:50,790 --> 00:03:52,435
How about you bring
that noise over here.
100
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,430
Good meeting.
101
00:03:54,691 --> 00:03:56,325
Great, well...
102
00:03:56,466 --> 00:03:57,922
Uh...
103
00:03:59,913 --> 00:04:01,993
- Foster's such a dork.
- He needs to get laid.
104
00:04:02,051 --> 00:04:03,904
I got laid.
105
00:04:04,977 --> 00:04:06,465
This morning.
106
00:04:06,523 --> 00:04:08,124
From my boyfriend.
107
00:04:08,170 --> 00:04:09,149
So...
108
00:04:09,174 --> 00:04:12,063
coitus no-one-interruptus.
109
00:04:12,515 --> 00:04:13,574
That...
110
00:04:13,599 --> 00:04:15,599
because we finished, so...
111
00:04:16,413 --> 00:04:19,002
- Why are you talking to us?
- You have owl eyes.
112
00:04:19,039 --> 00:04:20,536
Yeah.
113
00:04:22,868 --> 00:04:23,964
Hey!
114
00:04:24,319 --> 00:04:26,252
Trust me. What's up, teachers?
115
00:04:26,301 --> 00:04:28,861
Who wants free school supplies?
116
00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:31,379
- What are you doing here?
- Point to the ones who don't like you...
117
00:04:31,406 --> 00:04:33,465
- I can handle this myself.
- I'm fixing it for you.
118
00:04:34,092 --> 00:04:35,405
And then she... Yeah.
119
00:04:35,423 --> 00:04:38,461
Say, listen, why don't you guys come
to my bar later for free drinks.
120
00:04:38,532 --> 00:04:39,766
Teachers don't pay.
121
00:04:40,784 --> 00:04:43,328
- We'll think about it.
- Okay, they'll think about it.
122
00:04:44,402 --> 00:04:45,521
Bye.
123
00:04:46,184 --> 00:04:47,138
Oh, my God.
124
00:04:47,159 --> 00:04:48,693
- That was genius.
- It's a no-brainer.
125
00:04:48,718 --> 00:04:50,977
Whoa, that's an amazing
move, sex partner.
126
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,132
Sex part...
127
00:04:52,177 --> 00:04:54,908
With the promotion, uh,
I got a new office,
128
00:04:54,935 --> 00:04:58,148
so I don't have to look at Bethany's
mismanaged eyebrows all day.
129
00:04:58,314 --> 00:05:00,375
Do you like it? It's a
perfect two-thirds replica
130
00:05:00,399 --> 00:05:03,635
of Don Draper's office from Mad
Men, and you're my sexy Peggy.
131
00:05:03,668 --> 00:05:05,430
Good God, at least
shut the door.
132
00:05:05,454 --> 00:05:07,864
- My tiny credenza is in the way.
- Hey, Elizabeth,
133
00:05:07,899 --> 00:05:09,855
are you gonna be coming to
the party tomorrow night?
134
00:05:09,883 --> 00:05:12,371
- Party? What party?
- The big office party.
135
00:05:12,393 --> 00:05:14,795
Schmidt,
did you not invite her?
136
00:05:15,653 --> 00:05:18,370
I was just about to
invite you to go.
137
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,285
Cool, it's a date.
138
00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:23,385
- Bye, baby.
- Bye. Mwah, mwah.
139
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:27,996
How... how dare you interfere
with my personal life, you crone.
140
00:05:28,079 --> 00:05:31,886
I don't... I don't kick up a fuss when you
massage yourself with your yoga ball.
141
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:34,031
Oh, I'm sorry, were you
gonna invite Cece?
142
00:05:34,049 --> 00:05:37,518
Beth, please. I am in love
with both of these women.
143
00:05:37,913 --> 00:05:40,101
Do I feel bad about
lying to them?
144
00:05:40,105 --> 00:05:42,035
Yes. I'm a Sagittarius.
145
00:05:42,054 --> 00:05:43,829
Congrats on your new office.
146
00:05:43,965 --> 00:05:46,171
Gina gave birth on that carpet.
147
00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:54,200
Consider this closed.
148
00:05:55,138 --> 00:05:57,060
Right, so, yeah, um...
149
00:05:57,220 --> 00:06:00,692
Um, so, Daisy, what I was
really trying to say...
150
00:06:01,430 --> 00:06:03,030
is, uh...
151
00:06:03,506 --> 00:06:05,956
- Is your shower running? - Yeah, I
was just about to take a shower.
152
00:06:05,993 --> 00:06:07,266
- What's going on?
- Okay.
153
00:06:07,292 --> 00:06:10,865
Um, Daisy, I think
what we have is real,
154
00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:13,307
and, uh, I want us
to be exclusive...
155
00:06:13,458 --> 00:06:17,314
just you and me in the rear.
156
00:06:19,051 --> 00:06:20,500
Yeah, that sounds great.
157
00:06:20,525 --> 00:06:22,281
Awesome, um...
158
00:06:25,835 --> 00:06:27,379
Sorry, that's mine.
159
00:06:27,548 --> 00:06:30,819
So, Furguson gets his wet food in
the morning, dry food at night.
160
00:06:35,958 --> 00:06:37,708
- Somebody in there?
- No.
161
00:06:39,692 --> 00:06:41,376
No treats after midnight.
162
00:06:42,505 --> 00:06:47,839
"Oh, my name is Principal Foster,
and this is the Jacooz."
163
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:49,436
"The Jacooz."
164
00:06:49,590 --> 00:06:51,649
He's so nice, don't you think?
165
00:06:52,018 --> 00:06:53,762
He's such a nice boss.
166
00:06:56,008 --> 00:06:58,031
Y'all want some drinks?
167
00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,120
- Yeah, okay.
- Yep.
168
00:06:59,143 --> 00:07:01,406
- Yeah. Thank, thank you.
- Thank you.
169
00:07:01,632 --> 00:07:03,529
What do you think?
I think it's going really well.
170
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:05,322
Okay, I just realized
what's happening.
171
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:09,055
It's high school over there, and they're
the cool kids, and you're the nerd.
172
00:07:09,086 --> 00:07:10,249
I was never a nerd.
173
00:07:10,279 --> 00:07:12,914
♪ On western wings
the fowls doth fly ♪
174
00:07:12,926 --> 00:07:15,306
♪ On briny swells the
fishes doth swim ♪
175
00:07:15,534 --> 00:07:17,248
Oh, like you were so cool.
176
00:07:18,332 --> 00:07:19,310
Stall!
177
00:07:19,555 --> 00:07:21,919
Nick! Nick! Nick!
178
00:07:25,060 --> 00:07:27,248
- The Miller Sack Pack.
- Miller Sack Pack?
179
00:07:27,279 --> 00:07:29,001
They made shirts.
180
00:07:29,278 --> 00:07:30,983
You know what? I'm not
explaining my coolness to you.
181
00:07:30,995 --> 00:07:33,831
I was cool. Listen to me. You
want to be in with them?
182
00:07:33,955 --> 00:07:36,150
Roll with the punches,
go with the flow.
183
00:07:36,171 --> 00:07:38,046
Make fun of your
boss a little bit.
184
00:07:38,114 --> 00:07:39,858
Don't follow your instincts.
185
00:07:40,145 --> 00:07:41,220
I wouldn't sing.
186
00:07:41,254 --> 00:07:44,246
But most importantly,
follow my lead.
187
00:07:44,361 --> 00:07:47,297
And by "follow my
lead," I mean drink.
188
00:07:47,450 --> 00:07:48,984
And I mean drink...
189
00:07:49,681 --> 00:07:50,606
a lot.
190
00:07:50,635 --> 00:07:53,575
Drinking to be cool, Nick?
That's not a real thing.
191
00:07:53,594 --> 00:07:56,258
That's the only thing in the
world I know to be true.
192
00:07:57,729 --> 00:07:59,396
Schools are for fools!
193
00:07:59,421 --> 00:08:00,757
They are.
194
00:08:00,768 --> 00:08:02,861
Sometimes firemen are women!
195
00:08:02,911 --> 00:08:05,189
Sometimes! Sometimes!
196
00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:12,242
Hey, there she is.
Ol' Toilet Pants,
197
00:08:12,278 --> 00:08:15,617
the girl who bet herself six dollars
she could dance in a toilet bowl.
198
00:08:16,152 --> 00:08:19,418
♪ Oh, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
199
00:08:19,531 --> 00:08:21,555
♪ What's going on? ♪
200
00:08:21,971 --> 00:08:23,108
I'm cool.
201
00:08:23,122 --> 00:08:24,993
You are cool, but you
still got to go to work,
202
00:08:25,013 --> 00:08:27,111
'cause you're running
late, so up and at 'em.
203
00:08:27,136 --> 00:08:28,993
Hey, Nick, I got to talk to you.
I have a real problem.
204
00:08:29,023 --> 00:08:31,468
- Oh, my God. Did you kill Jess?
- No, no, no, no.
205
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,505
She just got really drunk last
night, and she passed out.
206
00:08:33,515 --> 00:08:34,807
Hey, guys.
207
00:08:35,141 --> 00:08:37,535
- Are you crying, buddy?
- No.
208
00:08:37,709 --> 00:08:40,966
- Hey, did he kill Jess?
- No, I didn't kill Je...
209
00:08:41,047 --> 00:08:42,785
Okay, remember when
I was so hungover,
210
00:08:42,797 --> 00:08:45,618
- I almost missed my flight for Christmas?
- Ah, count it down.
211
00:08:45,741 --> 00:08:47,675
- Three, two, one.
- Two, one.
212
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:51,062
♪ I believe I can fly ♪
213
00:08:51,089 --> 00:08:54,132
♪ I believe I can
touch the sky ♪
214
00:08:54,163 --> 00:08:57,398
♪ I think about it
every night and day ♪
215
00:08:57,431 --> 00:09:00,625
♪ Spread my wings
and fly away ♪
216
00:09:00,650 --> 00:09:02,487
♪ I believe I can soar ♪
217
00:09:02,517 --> 00:09:03,673
♪ Soar... ♪
218
00:09:03,746 --> 00:09:05,425
- I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.
- Oh, she's awake.
219
00:09:05,456 --> 00:09:07,156
That was beautiful.
Where are my tights?
220
00:09:07,175 --> 00:09:09,063
Uh, in the bathroom
where you barfed.
221
00:09:09,858 --> 00:09:11,597
- You sounded really good there, man.
- Start the band.
222
00:09:11,623 --> 00:09:12,471
What did you do to her?
223
00:09:12,502 --> 00:09:14,458
I just told her that I thought
drinking would make her cool.
224
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,500
What are you, a 14-year-old
hockey player?
225
00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,175
You're supposed to protect
her, not encourage her.
226
00:09:18,184 --> 00:09:20,578
Okay, I am protecting her.
She's my old lady now.
227
00:09:20,607 --> 00:09:22,701
- By turning her into you?
- I'm not...
228
00:09:22,811 --> 00:09:24,936
Yeah, Daisy cheating on me.
229
00:09:28,195 --> 00:09:30,614
Wait, we're using real honey?
So sticky.
230
00:09:30,757 --> 00:09:33,478
Hey, babe!
What a nice surprise!
231
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,945
I came to tell you that you can't
come with me to the party tonight.
232
00:09:37,139 --> 00:09:40,058
They just told me that
it's employees only.
233
00:09:40,381 --> 00:09:42,327
- No sig oths.
- Just say "significant others."
234
00:09:42,336 --> 00:09:44,487
Maybe you have that kind of
time, but I'm on a tight sched.
235
00:09:44,507 --> 00:09:47,008
Looks like we're gonna go late
here anyway, so no worries.
236
00:09:47,198 --> 00:09:48,905
All right... Shorty.
237
00:09:49,873 --> 00:09:52,160
All right, bring in the bees!
238
00:09:52,237 --> 00:09:54,787
Oh, wait. The bees are real, too?
Oh, hell no!
239
00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:56,846
Nick, I need your help, okay?
240
00:09:56,884 --> 00:09:58,201
Now, I am no plumber,
241
00:09:58,213 --> 00:10:01,373
but I'm 99% sure that there
was a guy in her bathroom.
242
00:10:01,438 --> 00:10:03,555
So, she agreed
to be exclusive with you...
243
00:10:03,588 --> 00:10:06,552
while the guy she is
obviously sleeping with
244
00:10:06,583 --> 00:10:10,444
was washing his size 15
ding-dong in the shower.
245
00:10:10,876 --> 00:10:12,339
And now you're taking care
of her cat.
246
00:10:12,371 --> 00:10:13,612
Those are the
bullet points, yes.
247
00:10:13,631 --> 00:10:16,524
You know what you got to do to get
yourself out of this situation.
248
00:10:17,347 --> 00:10:19,722
Break up with Daisy!
249
00:10:19,950 --> 00:10:22,053
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you're
making some very good points.
250
00:10:22,078 --> 00:10:24,050
You know, break up with Daisy.
That's an option.
251
00:10:24,074 --> 00:10:26,617
I was thinking, like,
I'll kill her cat.
252
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,053
Winston.
253
00:10:29,268 --> 00:10:30,931
Yeah, I'm-I'm gonna
kill her cat first.
254
00:10:30,947 --> 00:10:32,563
- Hey.
- I'm gonna kill you.
255
00:10:36,367 --> 00:10:39,219
- Hey, it's little Toilet Pants.
- Hey, Toilet Pants!
256
00:10:39,233 --> 00:10:41,777
♪ Toilet Pants! ♪
257
00:10:41,955 --> 00:10:44,803
- Please stop shouting.
- You are so awesome.
258
00:10:44,946 --> 00:10:46,801
I want to show you something.
259
00:10:46,906 --> 00:10:48,423
Oh!
260
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,364
Oh. Oh. Oh.
261
00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:53,443
You're one of us now.
262
00:10:53,460 --> 00:10:56,086
You never have to drink
out of a paper cup again.
263
00:10:56,228 --> 00:10:58,014
Fun mugs.
264
00:10:59,628 --> 00:11:02,481
This one makes me
look like I have a...
265
00:11:02,624 --> 00:11:03,618
- mustache.
- Mustache.
266
00:11:03,642 --> 00:11:05,101
Mustache.
267
00:11:09,175 --> 00:11:11,368
- What's up, Winston?
- Oh, hey, Nick.
268
00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:14,083
You know, I couldn't figure out
the best way to kill Furguson,
269
00:11:14,092 --> 00:11:17,762
so I decided to just let him
choose how he wants to die.
270
00:11:17,896 --> 00:11:20,909
If only I could get him to
leave that damn sunbeam.
271
00:11:21,730 --> 00:11:24,125
- You're gonna murder a cat?
- Yeah.
272
00:11:24,143 --> 00:11:25,807
- This is a joke, right?
- No.
273
00:11:25,835 --> 00:11:28,896
- This is one of your pranks?
- An eye for an eye, Nick.
274
00:11:28,921 --> 00:11:32,215
- A cat for a cat.
- But what's the other cat?
275
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:33,904
My heart.
276
00:11:33,937 --> 00:11:36,448
Where's that big flashlight
you can hit people with?
277
00:11:36,471 --> 00:11:39,214
Also, do we have any meat pieces
that might distract a dog?
278
00:11:39,248 --> 00:11:40,936
Winston, don't do
anything stupid.
279
00:11:40,973 --> 00:11:43,686
- Jess, what are you doing?
- Oh, yeah, yeah. Cool, cool. It's nothing.
280
00:11:43,723 --> 00:11:45,613
We're just breaking
into Foster's backyard,
281
00:11:45,631 --> 00:11:47,704
and we are gonna put
our butts in his Jacuzzi.
282
00:11:47,722 --> 00:11:49,803
- You're gonna put your butts in
his Jacuzzi? - Isn't it awesome?
283
00:11:49,821 --> 00:11:51,415
Uh, no, it's not awesome. It's a crime.
284
00:11:51,443 --> 00:11:53,459
- It's a very stupid crime,
but it's a crime. - Hey,
285
00:11:53,471 --> 00:11:56,464
do you have any makeup or costumes that
might make someone look like a bush?
286
00:11:56,486 --> 00:11:58,224
You are about to commit a felony.
287
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:01,291
Oh, my God, Nick!
You said roll with it!
288
00:12:01,316 --> 00:12:02,773
You're not the kind of person
who could break
289
00:12:02,785 --> 00:12:04,851
into the principal's house
and get away with it.
290
00:12:04,865 --> 00:12:06,437
You're the kind of person
who gets caught,
291
00:12:06,462 --> 00:12:08,459
and it ends up on the
Internet in a funny way.
292
00:12:09,389 --> 00:12:11,844
My God! That is the cutest cat!
293
00:12:11,875 --> 00:12:15,158
- Uh, don't get attached.
- Okay, both of you, knock it off!
294
00:12:15,426 --> 00:12:17,925
- Winston!
- Look, Nick, you're right.
295
00:12:17,943 --> 00:12:20,162
I'm a nerd. I've never fit in.
296
00:12:20,523 --> 00:12:23,696
If I met you in high school, you
never would have even noticed me.
297
00:12:23,725 --> 00:12:25,719
That's just because I
didn't go to class.
298
00:12:25,882 --> 00:12:28,307
- I wouldn't have seen you.
- I know it's stupid, but I'm doing it.
299
00:12:28,327 --> 00:12:30,591
- I'm not letting you go.
- Oh, you're not letting me?
300
00:12:30,661 --> 00:12:31,529
No.
301
00:12:31,544 --> 00:12:33,901
If for some reason
I don't come back tonight,
302
00:12:33,930 --> 00:12:37,459
I'll be at the Appleton Suites
under the name Suzuki Sinclair.
303
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,549
- Ask for Charles.
- Don't... Hey, hey.
304
00:12:39,567 --> 00:12:42,173
- We're not done with this conversation,
young lady! - Well, we are done!
305
00:12:42,191 --> 00:12:43,429
Oh, yeah, then where are you going?!
306
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:44,935
- I'm getting a flashlight!
- Oh, a hammer, huh?
307
00:12:44,961 --> 00:12:46,499
- Hey, Winston, Winston.
- Good way to go. Thr...
308
00:12:46,521 --> 00:12:48,422
- Don't hurt that cat.
- Uh-huh.
309
00:12:48,531 --> 00:12:51,144
- Hey, Furguson? Furguson?
- You scared him. Don't do this.
310
00:12:51,169 --> 00:12:52,419
- Furguson?
- Winston!
311
00:12:52,817 --> 00:12:55,206
Winston, Winston,
stop what you... Stop!
312
00:12:55,218 --> 00:12:56,800
Don't do that scary walk!
313
00:12:56,833 --> 00:12:59,584
Do not do that scary walk
that you do that scares me!
314
00:12:59,602 --> 00:13:01,025
Hey, Jess? Jess?
315
00:13:01,095 --> 00:13:03,368
Je...? Winston,
don't kill that...!
316
00:13:03,396 --> 00:13:05,685
Jess! I don't know what to do!
317
00:13:10,954 --> 00:13:12,504
- Oh, good Lord.
- What's wrong?
318
00:13:12,529 --> 00:13:14,468
Nothing. You know what?
Let me show you the stairwell
319
00:13:14,481 --> 00:13:16,833
where they got the idea
for the escalator.
320
00:13:19,062 --> 00:13:21,139
Shorty! My love.
My only love.
321
00:13:21,157 --> 00:13:23,809
I'm sorry. I just... I quit
that job, and I had to see you.
322
00:13:23,855 --> 00:13:25,586
How emotional. Let's go
talk about it in private
323
00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:28,313
in a perfect two-thirds replica
of Don Draper's office.
324
00:13:28,510 --> 00:13:30,560
You stay here.
I'm gonna get you a drink.
325
00:13:30,588 --> 00:13:33,028
No, no, no, please, you-you...
you stay here.
326
00:13:34,472 --> 00:13:36,597
- So... They're both here.
- Oh, God, what?
327
00:13:36,615 --> 00:13:38,284
The gas has been spilled.
328
00:13:38,552 --> 00:13:39,541
All we need is a match.
329
00:13:39,553 --> 00:13:41,827
What, are you narrating a book?
330
00:13:49,139 --> 00:13:50,786
Here it comes.
331
00:13:51,353 --> 00:13:53,641
The long nap.
332
00:13:57,729 --> 00:14:01,308
Oh, wow. Tell you what, man, we both
need to just cool off and have a drink.
333
00:14:01,430 --> 00:14:03,433
You smoke?
I'm just kidding.
334
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,290
But, man, that'd be
cute if you did.
335
00:14:06,818 --> 00:14:08,652
What is wrong with me?
336
00:14:08,887 --> 00:14:10,387
It...
337
00:14:11,049 --> 00:14:12,978
Oh, Furguson.
338
00:14:14,652 --> 00:14:17,221
So, listen, I've been
dreaming about this fantasy,
339
00:14:17,239 --> 00:14:19,627
and I think this party might be
the perfect place to try it out.
340
00:14:19,645 --> 00:14:21,508
Okay, but I can't get wet.
341
00:14:21,532 --> 00:14:25,293
No water. So, listen, you and I
are gonna be sexy strangers.
342
00:14:25,309 --> 00:14:28,471
Yeah? Now, your stranger is
the early-to-bed type,
343
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,598
and your job has you
on Hong Kong time.
344
00:14:30,625 --> 00:14:32,531
But the most important thing is,
345
00:14:32,791 --> 00:14:34,810
you're the first person
to leave the party.
346
00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:36,610
Whew. I like.
347
00:14:38,301 --> 00:14:40,119
- Wait, is that Cece?
- Is that who?
348
00:14:40,457 --> 00:14:41,688
Huh? No.
349
00:14:41,712 --> 00:14:44,629
- Cece. No.
- No, Schmidt, that's definitely Cece.
350
00:14:48,715 --> 00:14:51,543
Sorry, in between modeling
jobs, she does catering.
351
00:14:52,014 --> 00:14:54,539
You mind if I go over there and
say hello? I think it's only right.
352
00:14:54,566 --> 00:14:55,902
Eh.
353
00:14:58,693 --> 00:15:01,712
- Hey. - Hey, I know you told me to stay
in the office, but Beth insisted that I...
354
00:15:01,730 --> 00:15:05,167
Stay away from that woman. She is patient
zero in this office for spreading HPV.
355
00:15:05,231 --> 00:15:06,287
Here. Put on this apron.
356
00:15:06,310 --> 00:15:08,597
No, why-why would I do that?
That's crazy.
357
00:15:08,610 --> 00:15:10,802
My boss was asking, so I
told her you were a caterer.
358
00:15:10,830 --> 00:15:13,037
So... just... It's a good idea.
359
00:15:13,070 --> 00:15:15,083
- Okay.
- Just... Yes.
360
00:15:15,298 --> 00:15:17,254
You really want me
here, don't you?
361
00:15:17,413 --> 00:15:18,940
So badly.
362
00:15:20,839 --> 00:15:22,874
Can we just come back
when we have a plan?
363
00:15:22,893 --> 00:15:25,440
- Are you afraid?
- No, I'm not afraid.
364
00:15:25,904 --> 00:15:28,181
- Rose, give me a boost.
- Here's Rose. I got you.
365
00:15:28,205 --> 00:15:30,237
Oh, my... Oh, my God.
366
00:15:30,267 --> 00:15:33,434
- You got to help me a little.
- That's a hell of a grip, Rose.
367
00:15:33,553 --> 00:15:35,407
I see the Jacuzzi!
368
00:15:35,881 --> 00:15:37,173
Didn't stick the landing!
369
00:15:37,244 --> 00:15:38,752
You're doing great.
370
00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:41,316
I'm gonna do a loop
to not attract suspicion.
371
00:15:41,376 --> 00:15:43,132
- All right.
- All right.
372
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:46,644
Schmidt. I'm right here.
373
00:15:46,818 --> 00:15:47,974
Oh.
374
00:15:48,129 --> 00:15:50,130
- Do I know you?
- Right.
375
00:15:50,307 --> 00:15:51,860
The fantasy.
376
00:15:52,664 --> 00:15:54,070
Boy, I got to go.
377
00:15:54,957 --> 00:15:57,419
I have a 5:00 a.m.
conference call with...
378
00:15:58,215 --> 00:15:59,758
the Asians.
379
00:15:59,999 --> 00:16:02,412
Are you leaving soon, stranger?
380
00:16:02,424 --> 00:16:03,790
You mean "Corporal"?
381
00:16:04,103 --> 00:16:06,054
And, no, I'm gonna stick around
and throw down one more beer.
382
00:16:06,079 --> 00:16:07,418
Sweet.
383
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,850
Oh, hey. Don't tell
me you're leaving.
384
00:16:11,867 --> 00:16:13,313
Whew, great news.
385
00:16:13,332 --> 00:16:15,638
My boss is in her office
completely passed out.
386
00:16:15,948 --> 00:16:18,147
- We finally have the night to ourselves.
- Thank God.
387
00:16:18,165 --> 00:16:20,150
It's getting a little weird here,
right?
388
00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:21,755
Dressed up like this.
389
00:16:24,467 --> 00:16:26,305
That Elizabeth?
390
00:16:33,554 --> 00:16:37,000
Okay, look, Cece, I-I got
to tell you something.
391
00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:39,677
Does Elizabeth... work here?
392
00:16:40,422 --> 00:16:41,647
Yes.
393
00:16:42,547 --> 00:16:44,702
- Hey.
- We were just talking about you.
394
00:16:44,732 --> 00:16:46,685
The food was good.
395
00:16:46,702 --> 00:16:47,893
Yeah.
396
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:51,198
- I was thinking of taking some home.
- You deserve it.
397
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,153
Okay, well, I'm heading off.
398
00:16:53,208 --> 00:16:56,035
The Asian markets
wait for no one.
399
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,474
Wow.
400
00:17:00,632 --> 00:17:03,267
She was ice cold to you.
401
00:17:04,145 --> 00:17:06,130
I'm gonna go get a drink.
402
00:17:06,323 --> 00:17:07,933
What a night.
403
00:17:16,117 --> 00:17:17,831
- I got this!
- Open the damn gate!
404
00:17:17,869 --> 00:17:20,744
- Jess, hey! Don't move! I'm coming over!
Rose, move! - Everything's under control!
405
00:17:20,771 --> 00:17:22,409
Jess, hey. I'm coming.
406
00:17:22,472 --> 00:17:24,328
- I got you.
- Whoa, hey, Rose!
407
00:17:24,353 --> 00:17:26,833
Ease up on the throttle.
Those are my precious goods.
408
00:17:26,898 --> 00:17:29,248
- Did you follow me here?
- Here I come!
409
00:17:30,321 --> 00:17:31,838
- Nick.
- Hey.
410
00:17:31,904 --> 00:17:34,936
Hey, Jess. Jess, hey.
You okay?
411
00:17:35,011 --> 00:17:38,500
- Yeah. - I'm sorry I tried to
stick my nose in this. I just...
412
00:17:38,663 --> 00:17:42,051
I just... I came here because
I'm your old man now.
413
00:17:42,275 --> 00:17:45,813
And if you're gonna do something
that's obviously very stupid...
414
00:17:46,714 --> 00:17:49,024
then I'm gonna do it with you.
415
00:17:53,885 --> 00:17:56,278
- Oh. Ow.
- Oh, my God. You go there.
416
00:17:57,145 --> 00:17:58,483
- What's going on out here?
- Hey.
417
00:17:58,508 --> 00:18:00,872
- Who are you?
- No, I-I used to live here.
418
00:18:01,001 --> 00:18:02,618
I was just doing a visit
around the neighborhood.
419
00:18:02,630 --> 00:18:04,599
That's my old bedroom
right there.
420
00:18:04,771 --> 00:18:07,315
- That's a bathroom.
- To you maybe it is.
421
00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:09,561
But to me and my four brothers,
422
00:18:09,594 --> 00:18:11,174
- that's a home.
- Nick.
423
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:12,854
Nick, I can't let you do this.
424
00:18:12,889 --> 00:18:14,590
Mostly 'cause you're so bad at it.
425
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,284
- Is that you, Ms. Day?
- Yes.
426
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:20,170
It is. I'm so sorry. I
trespassed on your property.
427
00:18:20,279 --> 00:18:23,235
And I would not be surprised
428
00:18:23,285 --> 00:18:25,285
if you fired me.
429
00:18:25,514 --> 00:18:28,916
I think I know what's
really going on here.
430
00:18:29,474 --> 00:18:33,869
You heard about
my new... Jacooz.
431
00:18:35,222 --> 00:18:36,880
And you wanted a taste.
432
00:18:36,902 --> 00:18:38,890
♪ And say a little
prayer for right ♪
433
00:18:38,915 --> 00:18:41,503
♪ You know that if we
are to stay alive ♪
434
00:18:41,528 --> 00:18:44,522
Come on in, kids.
The water's hot!
435
00:18:45,603 --> 00:18:47,177
♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
436
00:18:48,202 --> 00:18:49,291
♪ Doo-doo-doo... ♪
437
00:18:49,793 --> 00:18:51,330
Hey, babe.
Thanks for watching him.
438
00:18:51,361 --> 00:18:53,362
He can be a real pain
in the ass, huh?
439
00:18:53,496 --> 00:18:54,402
Yeah...
440
00:18:54,421 --> 00:18:56,633
Was there a dude in
your shower yesterday?
441
00:18:57,833 --> 00:18:58,671
Yes.
442
00:18:58,707 --> 00:19:00,696
Hmm.
How do you know him?
443
00:19:00,795 --> 00:19:04,120
From sex. But it was from sex
before you and I were exclusive.
444
00:19:05,309 --> 00:19:06,953
Have you had sex with him since?
445
00:19:06,965 --> 00:19:07,959
No.
446
00:19:08,012 --> 00:19:09,501
Oh, wait. Yes.
447
00:19:09,526 --> 00:19:10,901
Last night.
448
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,746
Look, um...
449
00:19:12,859 --> 00:19:14,434
I really liked you, Daisy.
450
00:19:14,581 --> 00:19:17,250
You know, I wanted this
to be a thing, but, uh...
451
00:19:17,753 --> 00:19:19,360
I deserve better.
452
00:19:21,468 --> 00:19:22,955
And so does Furguson.
453
00:19:22,976 --> 00:19:24,232
Hmm?
454
00:19:24,270 --> 00:19:26,169
I'm keeping the cat.
455
00:19:27,602 --> 00:19:29,451
I got your cat!
456
00:19:35,416 --> 00:19:37,864
Well, Schmidt, you win.
457
00:19:37,888 --> 00:19:40,280
They both really love you.
458
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:42,084
So...
459
00:19:42,122 --> 00:19:44,122
enjoy your office.
460
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:49,026
- Hey! Toilet Pants!
- Oh!
461
00:19:50,102 --> 00:19:50,996
Toilet Pants!
462
00:19:51,021 --> 00:19:53,255
Thanks for taking the bullet
for us the other night.
463
00:19:53,285 --> 00:19:55,941
How long were you stuck
in that Jacuzzi for?
464
00:19:55,953 --> 00:19:58,710
I don't really want to
talk about it, but, um,
465
00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:03,909
at one point, he did grab my foot
with his toes like it was a hand.
466
00:20:03,934 --> 00:20:05,153
What are you doing tonight?
467
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:07,720
'Cause we got a liquid
form of Ecstasy,
468
00:20:07,745 --> 00:20:10,054
and we're gonna grade
papers together. What?
469
00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:13,933
I would love to, but I actually
think I'm gonna hang out...
470
00:20:14,136 --> 00:20:15,891
with my old man.
471
00:20:15,973 --> 00:20:17,807
That's... weird.
472
00:20:18,452 --> 00:20:19,308
Cool.
473
00:20:19,321 --> 00:20:21,194
- See you.
- Weirdo.
474
00:20:31,417 --> 00:20:32,336
Hi.
475
00:20:32,354 --> 00:20:34,640
So I hear you're interested
in joining the Sack Pack.
476
00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:35,955
I might be.
477
00:20:36,045 --> 00:20:40,684
Then perhaps this will wet your whistle
of what's fun about being a member.
478
00:20:42,420 --> 00:20:44,045
- Just leave it.
- Yeah.
479
00:20:44,092 --> 00:20:46,401
You are terrible at Hacky Sack.
480
00:20:46,426 --> 00:20:47,778
I think I'm retiring.
481
00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:55,434
Yeah, I just want to say...
482
00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:57,572
I would've noticed you.
483
00:21:08,615 --> 00:21:10,016
Want to go do it in
the teachers' lounge?
484
00:21:10,050 --> 00:21:11,019
- Yes.
- You do?
485
00:21:11,031 --> 00:21:13,399
Oh, I'm gonna do it
with a teacher!
486
00:21:15,238 --> 00:21:17,182
Shh.
487
00:21:21,574 --> 00:21:24,713
Okay, something is
definitely coming out.
488
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:29,544
I think we should go.
489
00:21:34,434 --> 00:21:40,434
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther