1
00:00:04,077 --> 00:00:05,444
Damn, man.
2
00:00:05,568 --> 00:00:07,211
You look tired. Your
eyes are puffy as hell.
3
00:00:07,230 --> 00:00:09,191
I'm unwell, Winston.
4
00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:12,565
I'm just torn up about this
whole Cece and Elizabeth thing.
5
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,904
I feel so guilty, I can't even
look at myself in the mirror.
6
00:00:14,933 --> 00:00:16,653
Do you think that I'm good person?
7
00:00:16,679 --> 00:00:19,483
- I'm gonna... - Hey, guys, do you
guys think that I'm a good person?
8
00:00:19,505 --> 00:00:21,105
You're a terrible person.
It's hilarious.
9
00:00:21,124 --> 00:00:23,268
You cheated on my
best friend, Schmidt.
10
00:00:23,281 --> 00:00:25,894
F-Fair enough. Okay. Well,
I'm better than Winston.
11
00:00:25,922 --> 00:00:28,367
You're better at things than Winston,
but he's a better person.
12
00:00:28,386 --> 00:00:30,711
- Winston freakin' stinks!
- Okay, why am I being dragged into this?
13
00:00:30,742 --> 00:00:32,648
Because I'm mad, Winston.
14
00:00:33,596 --> 00:00:35,841
And I'm tired. And...
15
00:00:36,010 --> 00:00:37,514
I'm a good...
16
00:00:37,761 --> 00:00:40,863
- I'm a good man.
- Are you crying?
17
00:00:46,878 --> 00:00:50,744
- I got a package for Nick Miller.
- There's nobody here by that name.
18
00:00:51,395 --> 00:00:53,126
I got this.
19
00:00:53,934 --> 00:00:55,332
I saw that.
20
00:00:55,468 --> 00:00:57,360
- Run, Nick! Run!
- Aah!
21
00:00:57,383 --> 00:01:00,762
- What? - Relax, I'm with
your late father's estate.
22
00:01:00,796 --> 00:01:02,682
- Pop-pop?
- This is for him.
23
00:01:06,028 --> 00:01:07,599
What's in there?
24
00:01:07,745 --> 00:01:09,445
It's a hand, isn't it? Just
tell me if it's a hand.
25
00:01:09,465 --> 00:01:10,999
Oh, my God!
26
00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:13,599
- It is a hand.
- It's a... I knew it.
27
00:01:13,613 --> 00:01:15,614
It's a hand. What does
that mean, though?
28
00:01:15,723 --> 00:01:18,156
Full of dollar bills, y'all!
29
00:01:18,186 --> 00:01:19,805
You are rich, man!
30
00:01:20,140 --> 00:01:22,902
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
31
00:01:22,933 --> 00:01:24,303
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
32
00:01:24,328 --> 00:01:26,228
♪ Who's that girl? ♪
♪ It's Jess ♪
33
00:01:26,298 --> 00:01:29,223
I can't believe Nick's
dad left him $8,000.
34
00:01:29,260 --> 00:01:31,728
I've never seen someone
burn through money so fast.
35
00:01:32,529 --> 00:01:35,167
I should say something. Some of
these shoes aren't even his size.
36
00:01:35,181 --> 00:01:37,967
Look, Jess, you don't want to
talk to Nick about money, okay?
37
00:01:37,987 --> 00:01:40,432
It is a very touchy subject.
38
00:01:40,498 --> 00:01:42,460
I'm gonna check out this
fancy picture place.
39
00:01:42,479 --> 00:01:44,947
Seems like rich guys always
have pictures of themselves.
40
00:01:44,994 --> 00:01:47,618
My man. Do you, baby.
41
00:01:48,485 --> 00:01:49,829
I'm gonna be honest with you.
42
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:53,595
Nick owes me 1,900 bucks, so this here
is my opportunity to get it back.
43
00:01:53,633 --> 00:01:55,506
How are you expecting
to get your money back
44
00:01:55,536 --> 00:01:57,300
if he blows it all
on stupid stuff?
45
00:01:57,362 --> 00:01:59,211
Oh, don't worry, Jess.
I have a plan.
46
00:01:59,238 --> 00:02:02,973
Hey, listen, you know you don't have to
con him if he actually owes you money.
47
00:02:02,999 --> 00:02:04,206
You can just ask him.
48
00:02:08,322 --> 00:02:11,263
I just told you to ask
him for the money.
49
00:02:12,489 --> 00:02:13,455
Smile...
50
00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:16,902
Do the crystals make
it look too glamorous?
51
00:02:16,922 --> 00:02:18,260
It's really glamorous.
52
00:02:18,279 --> 00:02:20,068
I don't even know. I don't
know what's cool anymore.
53
00:02:20,091 --> 00:02:21,871
It could be a good time
to start a bank account.
54
00:02:21,897 --> 00:02:23,885
Yeah, or I could just
flush it down the toilet.
55
00:02:23,904 --> 00:02:25,143
It's not really the same thing, but...
56
00:02:25,162 --> 00:02:28,542
A bank is just a paper bag
but with fancier walls.
57
00:02:28,568 --> 00:02:31,649
That's all it is. I'm gonna keep
my money where my mouth is.
58
00:02:32,063 --> 00:02:34,194
Um, under my nose.
59
00:02:34,474 --> 00:02:36,771
That saying actually does work.
60
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,198
- What is that?
- This is my box.
61
00:02:44,346 --> 00:02:47,227
It's where I keep all my junk that
I don't feel like dealing with.
62
00:02:47,273 --> 00:02:50,165
That looks like a lot of bills.
It's... mostly bills.
63
00:02:50,189 --> 00:02:51,534
Yeah, like I said, it's junk.
64
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,171
You know,
I'm just brainstorming here,
65
00:02:53,189 --> 00:02:55,849
but what if you paid some of those
bills with the money you just got?
66
00:02:55,863 --> 00:02:58,731
Yeah. I'm gonna "pay my bill."
67
00:02:59,166 --> 00:03:01,805
And what's next? I'm gonna go
to the doctor and get a checkup.
68
00:03:01,831 --> 00:03:04,187
Give them $500 to check my bones.
69
00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:06,251
You're being funny.
70
00:03:12,963 --> 00:03:15,571
So, yeah, I was dating both
of them at the same time.
71
00:03:15,658 --> 00:03:19,071
I'm a mess. I can't sleep.
I urinate constantly.
72
00:03:19,287 --> 00:03:21,979
I cried the other day
listening to a techno song.
73
00:03:22,014 --> 00:03:24,045
My tweets have been
extremely literal.
74
00:03:24,097 --> 00:03:25,570
Were the girls Jewish?
75
00:03:25,592 --> 00:03:27,405
One Indian, one regular. Do
you want to see a picture?
76
00:03:27,425 --> 00:03:29,663
I-I don't even know
why you're here.
77
00:03:29,913 --> 00:03:31,657
You come in and say, "Do
you have a minute?"
78
00:03:31,671 --> 00:03:34,041
Okay, I'm-I'm sorry, Rabbi.
It's just that...
79
00:03:34,221 --> 00:03:36,010
Okay, it's much more simple.
80
00:03:37,261 --> 00:03:40,249
- How can I be a better person?
- Oh.
81
00:03:40,946 --> 00:03:43,402
Well, you seem awfully
concerned with yourself.
82
00:03:43,466 --> 00:03:45,891
You might want to start thinking
about the needs of others.
83
00:03:45,910 --> 00:03:47,536
I think about others all the time.
84
00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:49,993
What-what I can get from them,
how they can give me pleasure,
85
00:03:50,006 --> 00:03:52,975
- do they have a silly little walk that
I can make fun of? - No, th-that's...
86
00:03:52,995 --> 00:03:57,101
It's where you actually
care about somebody else.
87
00:03:57,226 --> 00:03:59,608
You put their needs
ahead of your own.
88
00:03:59,624 --> 00:04:01,643
This is one of the few times
that I wish I was Catholic.
89
00:04:01,665 --> 00:04:04,321
Couple Hail Marys and
I'd be off the hook.
90
00:04:04,695 --> 00:04:05,684
Huh?
91
00:04:13,733 --> 00:04:15,288
Oh, God. Whoa.
92
00:04:15,313 --> 00:04:17,719
Are you choking?
You're choking. Okay.
93
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:20,701
Uh... What, are you
biking and eating?
94
00:04:20,808 --> 00:04:22,414
All right, I got you, I got you.
95
00:04:22,435 --> 00:04:24,548
Come on! Live! Live!
96
00:04:24,566 --> 00:04:25,749
Live, biker!
97
00:04:25,773 --> 00:04:27,574
- Ew. Yeah!
- Thank you.
98
00:04:27,602 --> 00:04:29,271
You saved my life.
99
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,184
- What?
- You saved my life.
100
00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:34,834
You saved my life.
101
00:04:36,596 --> 00:04:40,170
- I did. Yes. Yes.
- Thank you... Thank you...
102
00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:43,160
Yes! Dude!
103
00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:46,082
This is exactly what I needed.
Oh, my God.
104
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:48,053
Let us rejoice in song.
105
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:50,748
♪ Sh'ma Yis'ra'eil ♪
106
00:04:50,816 --> 00:04:52,480
♪ Adonai Eloheinu ♪
107
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:55,564
- Please call 911. I'm hurt.
- Oh, yeah, no, that's a great idea.
108
00:04:55,602 --> 00:04:57,196
I'm gonna call 911.
109
00:04:57,303 --> 00:04:59,072
I hope you don't have a
dance recital later.
110
00:04:59,106 --> 00:05:00,812
I'm just kidding. Don't
look at your legs.
111
00:05:02,247 --> 00:05:05,449
That's, uh, $900 to the
Parking Authority of Los Angeles.
112
00:05:05,871 --> 00:05:08,350
Oh, is it okay to mail cash?
113
00:05:09,507 --> 00:05:12,442
I'm gonna do it anyway.
All right, it's on its way.
114
00:05:18,698 --> 00:05:20,499
- Sliders are beautiful.
- I know, man.
115
00:05:20,664 --> 00:05:22,861
- I knew you would think that.
- I love 'em, dude.
116
00:05:22,888 --> 00:05:24,501
That's why I made 'em.
117
00:05:26,524 --> 00:05:27,724
What is that?
118
00:05:27,771 --> 00:05:29,002
Brotherhood.
119
00:05:29,109 --> 00:05:30,333
Brotherhood, man.
120
00:05:30,350 --> 00:05:32,305
All right, man. I respect
you, man, no matter what.
121
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,582
That's what it's about, man.
Yeah, and, um...
122
00:05:35,643 --> 00:05:37,544
in the spirit of brotherhood...
123
00:05:37,563 --> 00:05:38,869
just 'cause we on that
level right now...
124
00:05:38,890 --> 00:05:42,484
- I was just thinking maybe, I don't
know, um... - Anything, man. Shoot.
125
00:05:42,646 --> 00:05:43,784
Oh, man.
126
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,560
Maybe you can just pay me back
that money that you owe me.
127
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:48,735
Remember? 'Cause you
owe me that money...?
128
00:05:50,033 --> 00:05:52,227
- Uh, Nick? Nick?
- Oh...
129
00:05:52,247 --> 00:05:56,385
- Nick? Nick? Hey, Nick.
- Oh, you stink!
130
00:05:56,980 --> 00:05:59,382
- Um, can we...?
- You son of...
131
00:05:59,416 --> 00:06:01,954
- You son of a bitch, Winston!
- Can we... can we...
132
00:06:02,074 --> 00:06:03,187
That's what this is about?!
133
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:06,138
Nick, it's my money, okay?!
Give it back to me!
134
00:06:06,149 --> 00:06:10,099
I make a little bit of money and you
come slipping out of the "woodword"!
135
00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:12,593
- You mean "woodwork"?
- What is "woodwork"?!
136
00:06:12,629 --> 00:06:15,160
- What's "woodword"?!
- Wood! Word! Wood! Word!
137
00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:17,545
That's where people like
you come crawling out of
138
00:06:17,568 --> 00:06:19,868
- when people like me have money!
- But you owe me that money!
139
00:06:19,887 --> 00:06:23,571
- Stay out of my damn box is the
point, man! - I'm not in your box!
140
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:25,979
- Jess gets it, right?
- Yeah, what's...
141
00:06:26,223 --> 00:06:28,679
- What the hell, dude? - I'm gonna go
to the bar to blow off some steam.
142
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:32,127
That's a great idea. Go get loaded.
You deserve it. Black out.
143
00:06:32,150 --> 00:06:34,609
You are the only one
that I trust around here.
144
00:06:53,027 --> 00:06:55,044
Oh...
145
00:06:57,427 --> 00:06:59,291
You went through Nick's box.
146
00:07:02,587 --> 00:07:04,896
Look, it was so much
worse than I thought.
147
00:07:05,946 --> 00:07:08,309
Why does he have the deed to an
old Mercury Cougar in there?
148
00:07:08,334 --> 00:07:09,397
Oh, yeah, he lost that.
149
00:07:09,465 --> 00:07:11,666
For crying out loud, where is it?
We've been looking for hours.
150
00:07:11,683 --> 00:07:14,048
- It's done.
- What about your car, Nick?
151
00:07:14,153 --> 00:07:16,461
I said it's done.
152
00:07:16,768 --> 00:07:18,412
I'll just get the money back.
153
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,163
Bill collectors are
reasonable people, right?
154
00:07:20,191 --> 00:07:22,822
- That makes sense.
- You better keep your mouth shut, Winston!
155
00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,504
I'll make you a deal.
I'll keep my mouth shut
156
00:07:25,524 --> 00:07:27,537
if you pay me the
money Nick owes me.
157
00:07:27,638 --> 00:07:31,176
Are you trying to blackmail me?
158
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:36,274
You don't scare me, Jess.
159
00:07:41,951 --> 00:07:43,791
How much does Nick owe you?
160
00:07:44,065 --> 00:07:45,904
$1,900.
161
00:07:46,735 --> 00:07:49,203
But what is money anyway?
162
00:07:49,628 --> 00:07:54,859
You know, it's just paper that some king
on the mountains said was worth something.
163
00:07:55,066 --> 00:07:57,396
You know? Gold, I understand.
164
00:07:57,408 --> 00:08:01,145
It's shiny and you can
make jewelry out of it.
165
00:08:01,479 --> 00:08:03,022
Silver?
166
00:08:03,070 --> 00:08:06,239
Put a werewolf in front
of me, he's dead.
167
00:08:06,908 --> 00:08:12,355
Brass creates the bells that
make sound throughout the land.
168
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,718
But we kill each other for paper.
169
00:08:16,100 --> 00:08:18,233
I gotta tell you,
man, that's sad.
170
00:08:18,284 --> 00:08:22,024
You give me $50, I'll show
you my private parts.
171
00:08:26,745 --> 00:08:28,395
Nicholas, good yontef.
172
00:08:28,416 --> 00:08:30,916
- Are you well?
- No, but good yontef.
173
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:32,357
You know, I'm all steamed up.
174
00:08:32,385 --> 00:08:34,377
This money thing is tearing
me apart, Schmidt.
175
00:08:34,394 --> 00:08:36,597
All right, if it's bothering you that
much, why don't you just give it away?
176
00:08:36,621 --> 00:08:40,209
- Son of a bitch!
- Not, not to me, Nick, to charity,
177
00:08:40,237 --> 00:08:41,827
or tzedakah as my people call it.
178
00:08:41,848 --> 00:08:43,224
- That's what your people do?
- Yeah.
179
00:08:43,258 --> 00:08:46,031
You beautiful genius.
180
00:08:46,107 --> 00:08:48,221
I like that. That frees
me of my worries.
181
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:51,195
- Oh, look at that! Another mitzvah!
I'm two for two today. - Yeah! Mitzvah!
182
00:08:51,359 --> 00:08:53,027
- I saved a man.
- Oh my God.
183
00:08:53,052 --> 00:08:56,325
You know, there was a lowly bike messenger.
Was just riding along, choking on his gum.
184
00:08:56,350 --> 00:08:58,774
And I performed Heimlich's
maneuver on him, rescued him.
185
00:08:58,801 --> 00:09:00,651
- Great.
- Yeah, who's the good man now?
186
00:09:00,678 --> 00:09:02,516
You're almost
forced to admit it.
187
00:09:04,263 --> 00:09:06,585
Almost... You're almost
forced to admit it.
188
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,589
- Yeah, I know.
- I'm a hero, Nick, now...
189
00:09:08,613 --> 00:09:11,094
Just tell me that I'm a good man.
I really need to hear it.
190
00:09:11,141 --> 00:09:13,827
I don't even know if I'm a good person.
I'm not the guy to ask.
191
00:09:13,860 --> 00:09:15,719
- I have my moods.
- But we're not talking about you.
192
00:09:15,739 --> 00:09:17,589
We're talking about me right
now and how I'm a good person,
193
00:09:17,602 --> 00:09:18,998
so it'd be really nice
if you could say that.
194
00:09:19,011 --> 00:09:20,649
- I'm ready to do a tzatziki.
- Tzedakah.
195
00:09:20,673 --> 00:09:22,019
This is not about
tzedakah right now.
196
00:09:22,045 --> 00:09:23,851
This is about me being a good
man and you telling me that.
197
00:09:23,865 --> 00:09:25,618
- Absolutely.
- So, well, say it.
198
00:09:25,650 --> 00:09:27,812
- You got it.
- S-Say that I'm a good man.
199
00:09:27,832 --> 00:09:29,713
I'm giving away my money.
I've been trying to listen
200
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:33,031
- to you this whole time!
- Damn it, Nick, you are so drunk right now
201
00:09:33,063 --> 00:09:34,877
- and at the bar you work at, no less.
- Yeah.
202
00:09:34,892 --> 00:09:37,036
What happens with the rest of your day?
Do you even think about that?
203
00:09:37,049 --> 00:09:39,577
You don't understand
drinking at all.
204
00:09:41,992 --> 00:09:43,426
Don't go.
205
00:09:44,768 --> 00:09:46,204
Heathcliff.
206
00:09:46,223 --> 00:09:49,678
Hi, I'd like to unpay
some parking tickets.
207
00:09:49,696 --> 00:09:53,348
- Excuse me? - Well, I sent in a
payment earlier for some tickets
208
00:09:53,363 --> 00:09:55,588
and I decided I don't
want to pay them.
209
00:09:55,619 --> 00:09:56,713
Well, just cancel the checks.
210
00:09:56,731 --> 00:10:00,976
Can't do that 'cause I paid cash 'cause
my boyfriend doesn't believe in banks.
211
00:10:00,999 --> 00:10:02,387
It's early in the relationship.
212
00:10:02,407 --> 00:10:05,108
Still shaving above the knee
if you know what I mean.
213
00:10:05,133 --> 00:10:06,052
Mm-hmm.
214
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:08,708
Let me get this straight...
You want me to watch the mail
215
00:10:08,730 --> 00:10:11,038
and let you know if I see
anything from your boyfriend.
216
00:10:11,055 --> 00:10:13,755
- Exactly.
- Fantastic. Should I call you or...?
217
00:10:13,783 --> 00:10:15,428
- Text, text would be great.
- Perfect.
218
00:10:15,445 --> 00:10:18,073
Let me put your
number into my phone.
219
00:10:18,938 --> 00:10:22,019
- I didn't give you my number yet.
- Oh, I think you did.
220
00:10:23,336 --> 00:10:26,097
It's your lucky day, old friend. I had
an interesting talk with Schmidt,
221
00:10:26,113 --> 00:10:29,222
and I've decided to give away my
fortune. So, what do I owe you?
222
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:31,989
- How much money d...? Uh...
- Hey, guys, what's going on?
223
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:34,755
- Hey, Jess, um...
- It's tzatziki is what it's called.
224
00:10:34,779 --> 00:10:36,942
It's a Jewish charity.
225
00:10:39,321 --> 00:10:42,754
Nick was just about to pay me
the money that he owes me.
226
00:10:43,882 --> 00:10:45,483
Wait!
227
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:56,312
- Come on, what are you doing?
- I'm, uh, I'm lubing up, Sally...
228
00:10:56,445 --> 00:10:57,612
From ankles to ears?
229
00:10:57,652 --> 00:10:59,752
The door's locked... You
want me to bust in?
230
00:11:00,343 --> 00:11:01,949
Son of a...
231
00:11:03,206 --> 00:11:05,705
It opened! Where are you?
232
00:11:06,343 --> 00:11:10,112
Um, I just was hot,
I wanted some shade.
233
00:11:10,277 --> 00:11:12,001
Oh, done that.
234
00:11:14,611 --> 00:11:15,709
He take my money?
235
00:11:15,730 --> 00:11:18,245
- Winston!
- It was me, it was me, it was me.
236
00:11:18,268 --> 00:11:20,504
I'm so sorry, I went
through your box...
237
00:11:20,521 --> 00:11:24,639
I just couldn't help it... and I paid
some of your bills, and I'm so sorry I...
238
00:11:26,126 --> 00:11:27,862
Hey, Nick...
239
00:11:28,137 --> 00:11:32,324
You gonna leave me here?
Nick... That's fair.
240
00:11:36,525 --> 00:11:38,616
There he is, alive and well.
241
00:11:38,633 --> 00:11:40,088
- Yeah.
- Mazel.
242
00:11:40,220 --> 00:11:41,720
I br-brought you these.
243
00:11:42,812 --> 00:11:45,776
- How's my brave little soldier doing, huh?
- Not great.
244
00:11:46,220 --> 00:11:49,365
They said that I'm never gonna
be able to ride a bike again,
245
00:11:49,385 --> 00:11:51,729
- so there goes my job.
- Sure, sure.
246
00:11:51,748 --> 00:11:53,579
Do you think that I'm a good person?
247
00:11:54,173 --> 00:11:56,504
I... I don't really know you.
248
00:11:56,544 --> 00:11:58,044
Well, what more do
you need to know?
249
00:11:58,075 --> 00:12:00,220
If not for me, you probably
would have died today.
250
00:12:00,244 --> 00:12:01,926
Well, somebody probably
would have come along.
251
00:12:01,953 --> 00:12:03,758
Just say that I'm a good person.
252
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,667
- Well, I mean...
- Why is that so hard for you to say?
253
00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:07,045
- Ow!
- I'm sorry. I am so sorry.
254
00:12:07,068 --> 00:12:10,356
- You're, you're a good person.
- I am? You really think so?
255
00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:12,434
- Very good.
- Thank you for saying that.
256
00:12:12,459 --> 00:12:13,566
- Yeah.
- That really means...
257
00:12:13,592 --> 00:12:15,394
It means a lot.
258
00:12:15,499 --> 00:12:17,374
I finally feel like I
can breathe again.
259
00:12:17,411 --> 00:12:19,078
Good.
260
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:20,843
What happ...
What happened to him?
261
00:12:20,875 --> 00:12:25,157
Well, he got smoked by a bus while he
was having a bake sale for cancer kids.
262
00:12:25,191 --> 00:12:27,092
For, for canc... for cancer kids?
263
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,277
- Yeah.
- But he-he's, he's a great person.
264
00:12:29,305 --> 00:12:32,249
Bad things happen to good
people all the time.
265
00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:35,028
Of course they do.
266
00:12:35,311 --> 00:12:37,474
What am I even chasing here?
267
00:12:37,516 --> 00:12:39,297
What is the point of
being a good person?
268
00:12:39,313 --> 00:12:42,654
Some say moral integrity is
the cornerstone to humanity.
269
00:12:42,672 --> 00:12:45,435
What do you know, you idiot? You
choked on a piece of gum today.
270
00:12:45,443 --> 00:12:49,255
- Hey, man, don't shoot the bike messenger.
- That is a terrible joke!
271
00:12:50,254 --> 00:12:52,417
And none of this
makes any sense!
272
00:13:04,766 --> 00:13:06,173
Hey, Nick.
273
00:13:07,441 --> 00:13:10,163
Look, I know you're really angry
and you have a right to be.
274
00:13:10,193 --> 00:13:12,073
I have the right to be?
275
00:13:12,138 --> 00:13:14,550
I mean, why do you feel
like you need to fix me?
276
00:13:14,591 --> 00:13:16,147
It's like you think
you know better.
277
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:19,066
Well, I m... I might
know better than you.
278
00:13:19,455 --> 00:13:21,650
Did you start a corporation?
279
00:13:23,455 --> 00:13:25,823
- Was it Fat Face?
- I think so.
280
00:13:26,103 --> 00:13:28,148
- Yeah.
- Well, you're getting taxed like crazy.
281
00:13:28,161 --> 00:13:29,893
Well, that's because I thought
I was filing a patent.
282
00:13:29,918 --> 00:13:31,443
Fat Face is an invention?
283
00:13:31,456 --> 00:13:33,837
Kind of... in its intention
It was suppo... it...
284
00:13:34,816 --> 00:13:38,182
- Are you a lifeguard?
- No, that is a false certificate.
285
00:13:38,204 --> 00:13:40,603
- Just a classic beach prank.
- That seems dangerous.
286
00:13:40,615 --> 00:13:43,261
It's funny, 'cause I...
I can't swim.
287
00:13:43,361 --> 00:13:45,661
Everyone was watching me, and
I'm like, "I don't know..."
288
00:13:45,844 --> 00:13:47,457
I was 13!
289
00:13:47,826 --> 00:13:48,900
I was 26.
290
00:13:48,943 --> 00:13:50,957
This is the problem with the box.
It's my private stuff.
291
00:13:50,975 --> 00:13:53,880
You've never once done
jury duty or paid your taxes.
292
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,582
Not until gay marriage
is legal everywhere.
293
00:13:57,366 --> 00:13:59,099
I stand by that.
294
00:13:59,359 --> 00:14:01,564
And I don't want to do
jury duty or pay taxes.
295
00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:04,461
Nick, you're in so
much debt, it's crazy.
296
00:14:04,482 --> 00:14:08,177
- You have to deal with this stuff.
- No, I don't, Jess, it's in my box.
297
00:14:08,196 --> 00:14:12,248
- That's not true, though.
- It's not a perfect system, Jess,
298
00:14:12,359 --> 00:14:14,559
but it's mine, okay?
And it's private.
299
00:14:14,582 --> 00:14:16,493
Well, I'm sorry I went
through your damn box,
300
00:14:16,515 --> 00:14:19,151
- but I was just trying to help you, Nick.
- So maybe I'll try to help you.
301
00:14:19,185 --> 00:14:21,262
What if I went into your box?
302
00:14:21,701 --> 00:14:22,920
- Not that.
- Stop it!
303
00:14:22,938 --> 00:14:25,351
I like that box, but
I'm mad at you...!
304
00:14:26,577 --> 00:14:28,598
I'm back to "You
disrespected me."
305
00:14:28,613 --> 00:14:30,557
- I was just trying to help.
- Well, then, how about this...
306
00:14:30,584 --> 00:14:32,517
Two can help. Okay?
307
00:14:32,696 --> 00:14:35,030
And if two are going to help,
then I'll be one of them
308
00:14:35,063 --> 00:14:37,744
'cause two can tango
on this dance, okay?
309
00:14:37,769 --> 00:14:40,607
So, you want to waltz? Well, you
picked the wrong dance partner.
310
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,239
- Two can play.
- What? It's not a...
311
00:14:43,265 --> 00:14:46,221
Who needs changing,
huh, who needs fixing?
312
00:14:46,589 --> 00:14:51,704
I'm gonna go through your personal
drawers and see what needs changing.
313
00:14:54,082 --> 00:14:56,570
- What are you, a zoo elephant?
- Those are my night peanuts.
314
00:14:56,592 --> 00:14:58,948
There shouldn't be day
peanuts and night peanuts!
315
00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:01,482
- They're just peanuts!
- I'm sorry, why is that weird?
316
00:15:01,503 --> 00:15:04,425
You just have a bunch of boxes?
I would change that.
317
00:15:04,452 --> 00:15:07,608
- Oh, you have a bunch of metal toothpicks.
- They're bobby pins.
318
00:15:07,639 --> 00:15:09,655
- What's a bobby pin?
- It keeps your hair back.
319
00:15:09,678 --> 00:15:11,521
You need Bobby's pins
to put your hair up?
320
00:15:11,538 --> 00:15:14,365
It's bobby pins,
not Bobby's pins.
321
00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:16,130
- What is this?!
- Yarn.
322
00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:18,051
What are you knitting,
a mansion?!
323
00:15:18,099 --> 00:15:20,324
Oh, look at this.
What do we have here?
324
00:15:20,466 --> 00:15:22,147
A bunch of beat-up old sacks.
325
00:15:22,161 --> 00:15:24,194
- My vintage purses.
- Well, you know what?
326
00:15:24,218 --> 00:15:27,471
- They could be sexier.
- You want my purses to be sexier?
327
00:15:27,495 --> 00:15:31,002
Would it kill you to get something
sleek, covered in gems for once?
328
00:15:31,032 --> 00:15:34,062
You want my purses to be
covered in gemstones?
329
00:15:34,086 --> 00:15:36,287
All guys do! That's
what we think is sexy!
330
00:15:36,299 --> 00:15:38,457
We want to be playing a
saxophone in an alley
331
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:41,998
and have you walk by in a
miniskirt with a purse with gems.
332
00:15:42,098 --> 00:15:44,292
- But you girls don't listen!
- What?!
333
00:15:44,523 --> 00:15:46,615
- Changing!
- No! Nick, no!
334
00:15:46,630 --> 00:15:48,956
- This all is changing.
- No, no, stop! That's disrespectful!
335
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,495
- Gone!
- Nick, stop it!
336
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,115
No! This is the grossest thing
I've ever seen in my life!
337
00:15:53,146 --> 00:15:55,203
- I got that for a nickel.
- It's disgusting.
338
00:15:55,217 --> 00:15:56,861
You're just trying to
get a rise out of me.
339
00:15:56,894 --> 00:15:58,589
Oh, my God!
340
00:15:58,614 --> 00:16:00,488
I've gotten a lot of
compliments on that one.
341
00:16:00,515 --> 00:16:01,609
- Gone!
- Nick!
342
00:16:01,634 --> 00:16:02,597
What?
343
00:16:02,621 --> 00:16:05,655
Stop it! Look, I like you
the way you are.
344
00:16:05,688 --> 00:16:07,413
I'm just asking you to grow a little.
345
00:16:07,445 --> 00:16:11,047
Are we ever gonna get to a point
where you stop working on me?
346
00:16:11,963 --> 00:16:14,858
Instead of changing me,
347
00:16:14,923 --> 00:16:18,076
maybe once, Jess, see it my way.
348
00:16:18,105 --> 00:16:21,021
Well, your way's
crazy and illegal.
349
00:16:21,028 --> 00:16:23,550
This is me, take it or leave it.
350
00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:26,035
I'm not changing for anyone.
351
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,294
Hey, where are you going?
352
00:16:31,685 --> 00:16:34,875
If you have something to say, just say it.
Don't write me a note or...
353
00:16:38,272 --> 00:16:40,282
That's the money I spent.
354
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:42,747
Do what you want with it.
355
00:16:42,819 --> 00:16:44,494
Thank you.
356
00:16:47,676 --> 00:16:50,135
Couple of best friend horses.
That's neat.
357
00:16:50,554 --> 00:16:52,555
What else can you get on...?
358
00:17:01,398 --> 00:17:02,611
It doesn't make any sense.
359
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:05,349
Can you not see I'm in the middle
of a bar mitzvah class here?
360
00:17:05,373 --> 00:17:07,023
Yeah, well, they
should hear this.
361
00:17:07,042 --> 00:17:09,914
A man helping cancer kids
got creamed by a bus today.
362
00:17:09,930 --> 00:17:11,795
Everything happens for a reason.
363
00:17:11,820 --> 00:17:14,001
But what if it doesn't
happen for a reason?
364
00:17:14,285 --> 00:17:16,425
Maybe... Maybe there aren't
any good guys and bad guys.
365
00:17:16,455 --> 00:17:18,580
Maybe there are just
winners and losers.
366
00:17:18,606 --> 00:17:21,269
I was beating myself up, but
maybe I should...
367
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,113
Maybe I should have been celebrating.
368
00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:25,902
- Have you ever dated two women at once?
- What are you talking about?
369
00:17:25,907 --> 00:17:27,913
I went to camp... They used
to call me the Octopus.
370
00:17:27,934 --> 00:17:29,878
- Clearly, you have not, sir.
- That's enough.
371
00:17:29,898 --> 00:17:31,673
You get out of here right now!
372
00:17:31,751 --> 00:17:33,578
- Out.
- Don't you "out" me.
373
00:17:33,611 --> 00:17:35,131
- Get out, get...
- Getting a little handsy there, Rabbi.
374
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,356
- Get out!
- You know what I realize?
375
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,198
Nothing matters, and that's great.
You know why?
376
00:17:38,228 --> 00:17:40,917
Because if nothing matters, we
can do whatever we want, Rabbi.
377
00:17:41,367 --> 00:17:43,255
Avram! Julio!
378
00:17:43,550 --> 00:17:44,888
Get away from me, man.
379
00:17:44,905 --> 00:17:46,424
Kick his ass!
380
00:17:47,344 --> 00:17:50,439
All right, okay. YOLO! YOLO!
381
00:17:50,487 --> 00:17:52,018
Nick's right.
382
00:17:52,131 --> 00:17:55,558
- I have too many purses.
- You're addicted to purses.
383
00:17:55,801 --> 00:17:58,564
I'm addicted to development fluid.
I get it.
384
00:17:58,842 --> 00:18:01,899
This one's for meat, and
this one's for shells.
385
00:18:01,964 --> 00:18:03,064
You know what?
386
00:18:03,090 --> 00:18:06,266
- Keep them. They're yours.
- Okay, thanks.
387
00:18:06,291 --> 00:18:08,591
Also, heads up... The ass
of your pants is missing.
388
00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:10,127
It's for the kitty cats.
389
00:18:12,285 --> 00:18:13,991
- My phone's ringing.
- Sure.
390
00:18:14,381 --> 00:18:15,256
Hello?
391
00:18:15,292 --> 00:18:17,793
I'm like a pretty lady.
392
00:18:18,190 --> 00:18:19,827
What's happening?
393
00:18:20,492 --> 00:18:21,863
I'm sorry to bother
you, Miss Day,
394
00:18:21,885 --> 00:18:23,820
but this man was trying
to open an account
395
00:18:23,835 --> 00:18:26,453
with a check in your name
and a paper bag full of money.
396
00:18:26,467 --> 00:18:29,094
Would you please stop hovering?
I'm being cooperative.
397
00:18:29,121 --> 00:18:30,445
It's fine. He's okay.
398
00:18:30,483 --> 00:18:32,138
Thank you, though.
399
00:18:35,472 --> 00:18:37,093
Opening a bank account, huh?
400
00:18:37,141 --> 00:18:38,650
Yeah, I, uh...
401
00:18:38,682 --> 00:18:41,290
- I realized something.
- What?
402
00:18:42,369 --> 00:18:44,481
I'd do anything for you, Jess.
403
00:18:45,326 --> 00:18:46,995
Hey.
404
00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:51,403
Thank you.
405
00:18:51,954 --> 00:18:55,690
All right, Mr. Miller, your
checking account is good to go.
406
00:18:56,174 --> 00:18:58,124
Oh, there's just an eight
dollar processing fee.
407
00:18:58,149 --> 00:19:01,887
Eight dollars? That's a
very specific amount.
408
00:19:06,355 --> 00:19:08,601
That's fine... It's your
world, your rules, so...
409
00:19:08,664 --> 00:19:09,420
Excellent.
410
00:19:09,445 --> 00:19:11,779
You go to the castle,
you got to pay the king.
411
00:19:15,482 --> 00:19:17,665
What is processing?
What does that mean?
412
00:19:17,682 --> 00:19:21,415
It's just a word you use to
make more money off of us.
413
00:19:21,510 --> 00:19:23,477
- That makes me mad!
- Me, too, yeah.
414
00:19:23,502 --> 00:19:25,533
Hey, how about this?
What's a bank?
415
00:19:25,577 --> 00:19:27,132
- Yeah.
- It's just a paper bag...
416
00:19:27,138 --> 00:19:28,332
- That's right. Yes!
- ...with walls.
417
00:19:28,358 --> 00:19:31,102
You're making some really, really,
really good points, ma'am.
418
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:34,137
You are the puppeteers
that puppet the world.
419
00:19:34,158 --> 00:19:35,325
No more banks!
420
00:19:35,460 --> 00:19:38,079
Or some banks... I don't care!
But I want my money on a boat!
421
00:19:38,111 --> 00:19:42,565
I understood at least 30% of the financial
crisis, and guess what I got from that?
422
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,595
- You... suck!
- Yeah.
423
00:19:44,623 --> 00:19:47,545
You suck so hard.
424
00:19:47,730 --> 00:19:51,980
And now, I'm gonna process this man's
face, 'cause I think he's great.
425
00:19:52,173 --> 00:19:54,586
And I'm crazy about him.
426
00:19:56,339 --> 00:19:58,116
Fine, I'll waive the fee.
427
00:19:58,146 --> 00:19:59,780
Yeah!
428
00:19:59,846 --> 00:20:01,656
We won eight dollars!
429
00:20:01,682 --> 00:20:03,398
Just wait till you
have children.
430
00:20:04,013 --> 00:20:06,332
You'll never touch
each other again.
431
00:20:06,638 --> 00:20:09,001
Banks suck! Banks suck!
432
00:20:12,688 --> 00:20:14,144
What the hell happened to you?
433
00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:16,482
Got beat up by some rabbis.
434
00:20:16,554 --> 00:20:19,085
Well, Winston, we're all alone.
435
00:20:19,505 --> 00:20:20,397
Nothing matters.
436
00:20:20,429 --> 00:20:22,772
But you know what? Look
Schmidt, stop, all right?
437
00:20:23,068 --> 00:20:24,437
You're a good man.
438
00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:26,810
You did a bad thing...
doesn't make you bad.
439
00:20:26,832 --> 00:20:30,645
We just have to try to
be better, you know?
440
00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:34,645
Been waiting all day for
somebody to tell me that. I...
441
00:20:35,113 --> 00:20:37,832
- I really appreciate it. Thank you.
- I want you to have something.
442
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:40,726
Winston, literally, a gift
is the last thing I des...
443
00:20:43,202 --> 00:20:45,270
- This is...
- There you go.
444
00:20:45,730 --> 00:20:47,324
This is a candelabra.
445
00:20:47,396 --> 00:20:48,566
Yeah.
446
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:50,321
I bought it with the
money that Nick owed me.
447
00:20:50,353 --> 00:20:52,422
- This is what you spent it on?
- And now it's yours.
448
00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:57,101
- Uh-huh. - May it illuminate
your path and lead you...
449
00:20:57,376 --> 00:20:58,964
out of the darkness.
450
00:20:59,277 --> 00:21:01,117
That's what it says
on the bottom.
451
00:21:01,414 --> 00:21:03,503
May it illuminate your path,
lead you out of darkness.
452
00:21:03,533 --> 00:21:06,075
Uh, uh, thank you for this...
really.
453
00:21:06,102 --> 00:21:09,246
Look at it every single
day and tell yourself...
454
00:21:09,578 --> 00:21:11,811
"I'm a good person,"
'cause you are.
455
00:21:11,835 --> 00:21:13,102
You know what I might do, though?
456
00:21:13,129 --> 00:21:15,067
And it might seem like
the opposite, but...
457
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,778
what I'm actually thinking is, maybe I'll
just put it away somewhere, like in...
458
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,750
I don't know... in the back of my closet...
so to keep it away from thieves.
459
00:21:20,771 --> 00:21:22,215
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
460
00:21:22,246 --> 00:21:23,810
- Can you be honest with me real quick?
- Mm-hmm.
461
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:26,562
How many times did you rub this thing
and think a genie was gonna come out?
462
00:21:26,708 --> 00:21:29,389
I ain't gonna lie to you man.
I rubbed it, like, three times. - Yeah.
463
00:21:29,618 --> 00:21:31,369
- I thought so.
- You know, I'm not...
464
00:21:31,387 --> 00:21:33,907
If a genie did come out,
what would you wish for?
465
00:21:34,541 --> 00:21:37,093
- More candelabras.
- Yeah, I bet.
466
00:21:37,245 --> 00:21:44,245
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther