1 00:00:03,166 --> 00:00:04,060 You taking up tennis? 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:05,416 No, it's *** fly swatter. 3 00:00:05,628 --> 00:00:07,066 - I want to see it work. - Well, we need a fly. 4 00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:08,933 I've been waiting whole morning. 5 00:00:09,673 --> 00:00:10,978 Did you honestly just kill one? 6 00:00:11,015 --> 00:00:13,250 Hey, what's going on, guys? Ooh! Ah! 7 00:00:13,284 --> 00:00:14,834 Walk with dignity, you giant toddler. 8 00:00:14,969 --> 00:00:17,654 Come on, Schmidt, you got to get this stuff out of here, man. 9 00:00:17,688 --> 00:00:19,489 Yeah, well, I can't afford storage. All my money's tied up 10 00:00:19,523 --> 00:00:21,691 in the storefront I leased for Jess' sister. 11 00:00:21,726 --> 00:00:24,661 So why don't you put your junk in the storefront, Schmidt? 12 00:00:24,695 --> 00:00:26,162 You really want me to put an Ian Schrager rug 13 00:00:26,197 --> 00:00:27,931 in a room without climate control? 14 00:00:27,965 --> 00:00:28,880 What? 15 00:00:29,039 --> 00:00:30,667 Oh, he was the guy in Star Wars. 16 00:00:30,701 --> 00:00:32,602 Medium talent. 17 00:00:32,637 --> 00:00:33,966 - Hey, guys. Morning. - Hey, Jess. 18 00:00:34,125 --> 00:00:35,020 Hey. 19 00:00:35,055 --> 00:00:37,340 Come on, Coach! Let's hustle! 20 00:00:37,375 --> 00:00:39,976 I got Coach a job at the school, and it's his first day. 21 00:00:41,112 --> 00:00:42,212 I don't like kids, 22 00:00:42,246 --> 00:00:43,580 I don't like teaching, 23 00:00:43,614 --> 00:00:45,282 I just like paychecks. 24 00:00:45,316 --> 00:00:46,783 Well, I think you're gonna love it. 25 00:00:46,817 --> 00:00:48,418 I don't think I'm gonna love it. 26 00:00:50,021 --> 00:00:54,691 Run! Do not stop running or I will eat your faces and bodies! 27 00:00:54,725 --> 00:00:57,727 Keep running or I will murder your family! 28 00:00:58,763 --> 00:01:01,131 I love this job. 29 00:01:01,165 --> 00:01:02,732 You're pissing me off! This one. 30 00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:04,634 This one. I got my eye on you. 31 00:01:08,566 --> 00:01:12,083 Synced and corrected by backinblack www.addic7ed.com 32 00:01:13,678 --> 00:01:15,809 Thanks for helping me move my stuff, you guys. 33 00:01:15,986 --> 00:01:18,882 ♪ Lots of hairy boxes God, I've fallen. ♪ 34 00:01:18,916 --> 00:01:21,251 Almost below you now, Nick. 35 00:01:21,285 --> 00:01:24,154 Fellow passengers, stuck in the caboose of life. 36 00:01:24,188 --> 00:01:26,289 You think I'm in the caboose of life? 37 00:01:26,324 --> 00:01:27,891 You love it in the caboose, not me. 38 00:01:27,925 --> 00:01:30,126 It hurts. It's actually quite jarring. 39 00:01:30,161 --> 00:01:32,162 ♪ Loves it in the caboose 40 00:01:32,196 --> 00:01:34,064 - I don't love it in the caboose. - ♪ Yes, he does. 41 00:01:34,098 --> 00:01:35,899 Uh, hi. Are you guys open? 42 00:01:35,933 --> 00:01:37,300 Oh, this actually... It's not a store. 43 00:01:37,335 --> 00:01:38,601 Oh. That's too bad. 44 00:01:38,636 --> 00:01:40,470 - I really like that lamp. - You like... 45 00:01:40,504 --> 00:01:42,505 You like the lamp? I'm sorry. You know what, it just... 46 00:01:42,540 --> 00:01:44,774 It's just that... It doesn't... It doesn't feel like a store yet 47 00:01:44,809 --> 00:01:46,943 - is what I meant to say. - Piano player is a nice touch. 48 00:01:46,978 --> 00:01:49,312 Aw, thank you very much. He's lovely, isn't he? 49 00:01:49,347 --> 00:01:50,914 Pl-please look around. Feel free. 50 00:01:50,948 --> 00:01:53,416 The lamp is 100% full price. 51 00:01:53,451 --> 00:01:55,436 Uh, pretty much everything's 100% full price. 52 00:01:55,601 --> 00:01:58,621 What you're doing is illegal. You can't say this is a store. 53 00:01:58,656 --> 00:02:00,256 I'm not taking advice from you. You pronounce 54 00:02:00,291 --> 00:02:01,358 the "G" in "lasagna." 55 00:02:01,392 --> 00:02:03,326 Lasag-na. 56 00:02:05,463 --> 00:02:08,465 Oh, my God. I think my arm's broken. 57 00:02:08,499 --> 00:02:11,601 I'm gonna sue the crap out of you. 58 00:02:12,837 --> 00:02:15,105 Winston! Quiet. 59 00:02:15,139 --> 00:02:17,273 So, I have Jamal Chambers in my fourth period, 60 00:02:17,308 --> 00:02:19,342 and he cannot stop talking about how fun 61 00:02:19,377 --> 00:02:22,345 and enthusiastic his new volleyball coach was. 62 00:02:22,380 --> 00:02:24,114 You were right. I love this job. 63 00:02:24,148 --> 00:02:25,949 I knew it. I knew you'd love it. 64 00:02:25,983 --> 00:02:27,851 - Hey. - I was looking for you. 65 00:02:27,885 --> 00:02:30,520 You weren't in my car. Internet's down. 66 00:02:30,554 --> 00:02:32,355 Okay, um, well, I rebooted the router. 67 00:02:32,390 --> 00:02:34,691 You're actually on the wrong IP address, so... 68 00:02:34,725 --> 00:02:35,725 There you go. 69 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:36,754 Ooh. 70 00:02:36,926 --> 00:02:39,996 You know I can see everything that you search for, right? 71 00:02:40,031 --> 00:02:43,133 I'm a biology teacher. It's all research. 72 00:02:43,167 --> 00:02:44,460 Fixing computers and stuff now? 73 00:02:44,641 --> 00:02:46,695 I'm just taking on a little extra responsibility 74 00:02:46,730 --> 00:02:48,705 around here, just getting stuff done that needs doing. 75 00:02:50,574 --> 00:02:53,143 Graffiti's wrong, kids. Don't do it. 76 00:02:53,177 --> 00:02:54,744 I love corn on the cob, too, 77 00:02:54,779 --> 00:02:56,846 but I'm not gonna paint it all over the walls. 78 00:02:56,881 --> 00:02:59,249 I'm just hoping, you know, in a few years 79 00:02:59,283 --> 00:03:00,884 I'll have enough experience that Dr. Foster 80 00:03:00,918 --> 00:03:03,753 will consider me for vice principal. 81 00:03:03,788 --> 00:03:05,314 Why don't you just ask him for it? 82 00:03:05,428 --> 00:03:07,557 You can't just ask for a promotion. You know. 83 00:03:07,591 --> 00:03:11,494 You have to earn the promotion with years of good work. 84 00:03:12,863 --> 00:03:15,198 What's funny? 85 00:03:15,232 --> 00:03:18,234 Uh, how's that working out for you, Jess? 86 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:23,673 Do you see this volleyball? 87 00:03:23,707 --> 00:03:26,276 It won't get over the net just because you want it to 88 00:03:26,310 --> 00:03:28,411 and you hope someone will notice that you want it to. 89 00:03:28,446 --> 00:03:30,847 - Okay. - I'm gonna ask you one more time: 90 00:03:30,881 --> 00:03:35,351 What... do you... want? 91 00:03:35,386 --> 00:03:37,287 Um, I want to be vice principal. 92 00:03:37,321 --> 00:03:38,721 All right. Then spike that ball, Jess. 93 00:03:38,756 --> 00:03:41,624 Oh, that's not... Okay, um... 94 00:03:41,659 --> 00:03:43,626 - You got to spike! You got to spike! - Is that really... Yeah. Okay. 95 00:03:43,661 --> 00:03:45,469 - No, wait. I'm not very good... - Spike it! 96 00:03:45,509 --> 00:03:47,390 I've just never really been good with athlete balls. 97 00:03:47,430 --> 00:03:50,070 - Spike it! What do you want?! - I want to be vice principal. 98 00:03:50,110 --> 00:03:51,547 Spike the ball and tell me what you want! 99 00:03:51,587 --> 00:03:54,028 I want to be the vice principal! 100 00:03:54,063 --> 00:03:56,106 - Yeah! - Yeah! 101 00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:57,740 Oh! Oh... Oh! 102 00:03:57,775 --> 00:03:59,609 Oh... 103 00:03:59,643 --> 00:04:01,111 I will not laugh. 104 00:04:01,145 --> 00:04:03,113 An outrage! Been all over 105 00:04:03,147 --> 00:04:04,948 and I can't afford anybody. Unbelievable. 106 00:04:04,982 --> 00:04:06,649 Access to premium legal counsel should be 107 00:04:06,684 --> 00:04:09,419 every Jew's birthright. And the jury will see 108 00:04:09,453 --> 00:04:11,454 that there is no justice for the Hebrew man. 109 00:04:11,489 --> 00:04:14,090 Not in these so-called United States. 110 00:04:14,125 --> 00:04:15,022 What is that that you're doing? 111 00:04:15,212 --> 00:04:17,302 I can't get enough of this legal drama. 112 00:04:17,337 --> 00:04:19,329 Check this out. Favorite author, Grisham. 113 00:04:19,363 --> 00:04:20,763 Favorite TV show, Judging Amy. 114 00:04:20,798 --> 00:04:23,733 Favorite color, courtroom brown. 115 00:04:23,767 --> 00:04:26,503 Courtroom Brown. Damn, I wish that was my nickname. 116 00:04:26,537 --> 00:04:27,942 Did you just think of that? 'Cause it was perfect, man. 117 00:04:28,106 --> 00:04:30,607 - Courtroom Brown. - Dude, you're a born Courtroom Brown. 118 00:04:30,641 --> 00:04:32,742 That's me. When you say "Courtroom Brown," I respond. 119 00:04:32,776 --> 00:04:34,377 Hey, Winston. 120 00:04:34,411 --> 00:04:35,612 - Hey, Courtroom Brown. - Yes? 121 00:04:37,181 --> 00:04:39,516 Kill 'em, Courtroom! That's awesome! 122 00:04:39,550 --> 00:04:40,950 What am I supposed to do in this situation, 123 00:04:40,985 --> 00:04:42,785 represent myself like some nut job? 124 00:04:42,820 --> 00:04:44,254 Nick could be your lawyer. 125 00:04:44,288 --> 00:04:46,422 This Nick? Vivica A. Dropout? 126 00:04:46,457 --> 00:04:47,824 First of all, I don't want to be involved, 127 00:04:47,858 --> 00:04:49,993 but thank you, Courtroom Brown. 128 00:04:50,027 --> 00:04:51,761 And second of all, I passed the bar, which means 129 00:04:51,795 --> 00:04:53,929 I can practice in the state of California. 130 00:04:53,969 --> 00:04:56,366 Oh, Nick, you would be the worst in the whole entire world. 131 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:57,634 No offense. I love you, dawg. 132 00:04:57,668 --> 00:04:59,602 I could be your lawyer easy. 133 00:04:59,637 --> 00:05:02,338 You don't forget how to be a lawyer. It's like riding a bike. 134 00:05:03,574 --> 00:05:06,709 They've changed these! 135 00:05:06,744 --> 00:05:08,211 Fine. I forgot how to ride a bike. 136 00:05:08,245 --> 00:05:10,380 But I'm not gonna forget how to be a lawyer. 137 00:05:10,414 --> 00:05:13,349 I guess I have no choice. You can be my lawyer, Nick. 138 00:05:13,384 --> 00:05:14,579 - I won't do it. - What? 139 00:05:14,693 --> 00:05:16,319 I value myself too great for that. 140 00:05:16,353 --> 00:05:17,620 If you want me to be your lawyer, 141 00:05:17,655 --> 00:05:20,023 if you want to win this case, you must start 142 00:05:20,057 --> 00:05:21,658 with the word "please." 143 00:05:21,692 --> 00:05:24,027 And I'll need a symbolic five-dollar retainer. 144 00:05:24,061 --> 00:05:25,295 Four dollars. 145 00:05:25,329 --> 00:05:27,463 Skin it. Let's do it. Hooah. 146 00:05:27,498 --> 00:05:30,533 Dr. Foster, I am young, I'm energetic 147 00:05:30,568 --> 00:05:33,970 and I think it's about time you take advantage of me! 148 00:05:34,004 --> 00:05:37,207 Well, this is... a little awkward. 149 00:05:37,241 --> 00:05:40,410 I'm, uh... I'm exclusively into Asian women. 150 00:05:40,444 --> 00:05:42,478 It's really a Kristi Yamaguchi thing. 151 00:05:42,513 --> 00:05:44,981 - After Lillehammer... - I really meant professionally. 152 00:05:45,015 --> 00:05:46,687 I want you to take advantage of me like that. 153 00:05:46,842 --> 00:05:48,375 - Sorry. - It's a professional thing. 154 00:05:48,537 --> 00:05:50,720 - Okay. Sorry. - I want to be vice principal. 155 00:05:50,754 --> 00:05:53,590 Frank retired, you need someone. I deserve it. 156 00:05:53,624 --> 00:05:55,725 I bust my ass for this school. 157 00:05:55,759 --> 00:05:58,027 You've got it. The job is yours. 158 00:05:58,062 --> 00:05:59,829 - It is? - Oh, my God, are you kidding? 159 00:05:59,863 --> 00:06:02,165 I thought I was gonna have to force somebody into it. 160 00:06:02,199 --> 00:06:04,033 This is so much easier. 161 00:06:04,068 --> 00:06:05,235 - Really? - Go ahead. 162 00:06:05,269 --> 00:06:09,072 Be vice principal. 163 00:06:09,106 --> 00:06:10,940 - I can't believe this. - In fact, I think 164 00:06:10,975 --> 00:06:12,242 you should start right now. 165 00:06:12,276 --> 00:06:14,644 You will not be sorry, sir. 166 00:06:15,980 --> 00:06:17,213 Did you? 167 00:06:17,248 --> 00:06:19,282 - I got the job! Yeah! - Oh! 168 00:06:19,316 --> 00:06:20,917 - I spiked the ball. - Time to celebrate. 169 00:06:20,951 --> 00:06:22,252 No! No! I'm not doing that! 170 00:06:22,286 --> 00:06:24,020 - No! - We got to celebrate! Celebrate! 171 00:06:24,054 --> 00:06:26,289 Let me pour it on your face and your clothes and your hair! 172 00:06:30,260 --> 00:06:32,128 Yeah. Uh... looks standard. 173 00:06:32,162 --> 00:06:33,929 Yeah. 174 00:06:33,964 --> 00:06:36,332 You're definitely being sued. 175 00:06:36,366 --> 00:06:38,601 Uh, your deposition is tomorrow. 176 00:06:38,635 --> 00:06:40,269 What-what do we do now? Do we prep for the plaintiff? 177 00:06:40,304 --> 00:06:41,604 I don't like prepping. It makes me feel nervous. 178 00:06:41,638 --> 00:06:43,406 I feel boxed in. And I'm very quick 179 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:46,475 - on my, uh... - Sure. 180 00:06:46,510 --> 00:06:48,678 Did you just forget the word "feet"? 181 00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:50,846 Feet. Yeah. Nick, you should really prep. 182 00:06:50,881 --> 00:06:53,182 Fair enough. Winston, you're my plaintiff. 183 00:06:53,216 --> 00:06:55,117 Done deal. Okay. 184 00:06:55,152 --> 00:06:58,120 Hi, my name is Tim Baker. 185 00:06:58,155 --> 00:07:01,791 I live at 522 Dugan Court Terrace. 186 00:07:01,825 --> 00:07:04,460 Okay, Mr. Baker, how long have you been a chef? 187 00:07:04,494 --> 00:07:05,828 I don't have to answer that. 188 00:07:05,862 --> 00:07:07,330 You actually do though, Winston. 189 00:07:08,131 --> 00:07:09,465 Doesn't he? 190 00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:12,802 You ask... Why you asking me, man? 191 00:07:12,836 --> 00:07:14,040 - No, I'm not. I'm... Yeah. - You're the lawyer. 192 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,605 No, I know. You have to answer. How long you been a chef? 193 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:18,341 I already answered that during background. 194 00:07:18,375 --> 00:07:20,609 What in the hell? You did background without me? 195 00:07:20,644 --> 00:07:22,645 Why wasn't I invited for background? 196 00:07:22,679 --> 00:07:24,480 You have to answer it! How long you been a chef?! 197 00:07:24,514 --> 00:07:25,548 You're fired! 198 00:07:27,417 --> 00:07:31,087 Give me another chance. 199 00:07:31,121 --> 00:07:33,856 No! 200 00:07:33,890 --> 00:07:36,726 Okay, here's something. Get on a plane with me. 201 00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:39,228 While you think about it, put this on my card. 202 00:07:39,262 --> 00:07:41,697 It's the black one. 203 00:07:45,469 --> 00:07:47,136 Wow. That just happened. 204 00:07:47,170 --> 00:07:49,405 You think maybe we should take his card 205 00:07:49,439 --> 00:07:50,906 and buy him a new shirt? 206 00:07:50,941 --> 00:07:52,541 I'm scared he'd want 207 00:07:52,576 --> 00:07:54,176 to change it in front of us. 208 00:07:55,212 --> 00:07:56,078 I'm Cece. 209 00:07:56,113 --> 00:07:57,646 Hi, Cece. I'm Buster. 210 00:07:57,681 --> 00:07:59,215 I really hope that's a nickname. 211 00:07:59,249 --> 00:08:00,383 No, it's not a nickname. 212 00:08:00,417 --> 00:08:01,484 It's your real name? 213 00:08:01,518 --> 00:08:02,852 I was bullied pretty bad. 214 00:08:02,886 --> 00:08:04,019 Hi, Buster. 215 00:08:04,054 --> 00:08:04,966 All right, hold on. 216 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,690 - I've got quite an eye for young boys. - Oh, God. 217 00:08:07,724 --> 00:08:09,692 That's right, I said it. It's not a typo. 218 00:08:09,726 --> 00:08:10,860 Let's see some I.D. 219 00:08:12,195 --> 00:08:13,162 God, you're handsome. 220 00:08:13,196 --> 00:08:14,697 I'm sorry. 221 00:08:14,731 --> 00:08:16,031 Wyoming! 222 00:08:16,066 --> 00:08:16,932 - Look at that. - Mm-hmm. 223 00:08:16,967 --> 00:08:18,367 Wyoming. So you're one 224 00:08:18,402 --> 00:08:21,003 - of the three people from Wyoming. - Yeah. 225 00:08:21,037 --> 00:08:24,840 Cowboy state, big sky country, home of the Liberty Bell. 226 00:08:24,875 --> 00:08:27,209 Bull... snatch. 227 00:08:27,244 --> 00:08:28,744 That's an awful accent. 228 00:08:28,779 --> 00:08:29,945 What is your real accent? 229 00:08:29,980 --> 00:08:31,514 Are you Australian or from Heaven? 230 00:08:31,548 --> 00:08:32,982 How old are you, for real? 231 00:08:33,016 --> 00:08:35,017 - Leave him alone. - Don't bull-snatch a bull-snatcher. 232 00:08:35,051 --> 00:08:37,286 Leave him alone. You're over 21, right? 233 00:08:38,488 --> 00:08:39,522 I'm not. 234 00:08:39,556 --> 00:08:41,724 Um... I'm 20. 235 00:08:41,758 --> 00:08:44,226 Get out of here, you delicious bastard. 236 00:08:44,261 --> 00:08:46,529 - Can I get my I.D. back? - No, of course not, you can't. 237 00:08:46,563 --> 00:08:48,798 It'd be against the law, you... wonderful creature. 238 00:08:48,832 --> 00:08:50,199 Nice to meet you, Cece. 239 00:08:50,233 --> 00:08:52,301 Good God, you look nice. 240 00:08:52,335 --> 00:08:54,537 Nothing irks me like underage drinking. 241 00:08:54,571 --> 00:08:56,906 It's stupid, it's dangerous, it's irresponsible. 242 00:08:56,940 --> 00:09:00,576 God, I want to have sex with that kid so bad, it's freaking me out! 243 00:09:00,610 --> 00:09:02,178 Oh. I'm real tingly. 244 00:09:03,713 --> 00:09:05,981 We have talk about the budget. 245 00:09:06,016 --> 00:09:08,284 There's a problem with the budget? But it's due Monday. 246 00:09:08,318 --> 00:09:10,286 - Yeah. - Do we have too much money? 247 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,321 - No. - We need to fire people. 248 00:09:12,355 --> 00:09:15,591 - What? - And when I say "we," I mean you. 249 00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:17,593 Start with the most recent hires. 250 00:09:17,627 --> 00:09:20,463 Well, we have, um... Janet from the history department. 251 00:09:20,497 --> 00:09:22,498 Human garbage. 252 00:09:22,532 --> 00:09:23,833 Okay. 253 00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:25,067 Ernie, uh... 254 00:09:25,101 --> 00:09:26,068 Ah, yeah. 255 00:09:26,102 --> 00:09:27,169 No. That's Coach. 256 00:09:27,204 --> 00:09:28,804 No. No. No. 257 00:09:28,839 --> 00:09:30,528 No, he's very good at his job. 258 00:09:30,686 --> 00:09:33,509 Last one in, first one out. You know how this works. 259 00:09:33,543 --> 00:09:35,744 - That's just wrong. - This is the job, Ms. Day. 260 00:09:35,779 --> 00:09:38,447 He's my friend. I can't. No. I'm not doing it. I'm not firing Coach. 261 00:09:38,482 --> 00:09:40,249 This is the job, Ms. Day. 262 00:09:40,283 --> 00:09:42,451 Do you want it or not? 263 00:09:46,456 --> 00:09:47,456 I'm what? 264 00:09:47,491 --> 00:09:48,924 We had to do budget cuts, 265 00:09:48,959 --> 00:09:50,593 and we have to let two people go, 266 00:09:50,627 --> 00:09:53,095 and you're my friend, and I couldn't stop it. 267 00:09:53,129 --> 00:09:54,196 I'm so sorry. 268 00:09:59,369 --> 00:10:01,003 We all pitched in. 269 00:10:01,037 --> 00:10:02,738 Thanks, guys, 270 00:10:02,772 --> 00:10:06,275 I'm not coach anymore. I'm just Coach. 271 00:10:06,309 --> 00:10:08,911 - What? - What? 272 00:10:25,445 --> 00:10:26,687 Morning, Winston. 273 00:10:31,059 --> 00:10:32,860 Are you not talking to me? 274 00:10:32,894 --> 00:10:37,198 Look, I had to fire Coach for my job. 275 00:10:37,232 --> 00:10:38,899 I didn't want to. 276 00:10:38,934 --> 00:10:41,369 Don't squint at me. 277 00:10:41,403 --> 00:10:43,304 Don't do that. 278 00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:46,073 I did it for my job. It wasn't my choice. 279 00:10:46,108 --> 00:10:48,476 - Hey, Nick, what's up, man? - What's up, Winnie? 280 00:10:48,510 --> 00:10:50,945 - Hey, Nick. - Hey. 281 00:10:50,979 --> 00:10:52,980 - Can we talk for a second? - Can I talk to you? 282 00:10:53,015 --> 00:10:55,416 Schmidt fired me, and now I'll never get to use 283 00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:57,785 this briefcase I just bought, and it was $19! 284 00:10:57,819 --> 00:10:59,553 - I think my thing is a little bit more... - Do you think 285 00:10:59,588 --> 00:11:01,555 I'm sexier when I hold it or when it's down? 286 00:11:01,590 --> 00:11:03,824 'Cause I think it's kind of sexier when I hold it, like this. 287 00:11:03,859 --> 00:11:06,761 - Not really. - Do I look like a man of power? 288 00:11:06,795 --> 00:11:08,462 Imagine this: It's, like, a rainy day, 289 00:11:08,497 --> 00:11:10,231 I'm on the streets of New York, 290 00:11:10,265 --> 00:11:13,734 Hey! Stop that cab! 291 00:11:13,769 --> 00:11:16,637 I'm a businessman. I'm late to an important meeting. 292 00:11:16,672 --> 00:11:18,929 I honestly feel like I would've been so good at this. 293 00:11:19,115 --> 00:11:21,442 You don't want to be a lawyer. Why do you care whether 294 00:11:21,476 --> 00:11:22,576 - Schmidt fired you or not? - I spent 295 00:11:22,611 --> 00:11:24,445 all those years at law school 296 00:11:24,479 --> 00:11:26,047 with those preppy dicks... 297 00:11:26,081 --> 00:11:28,226 and I never got to prove them wrong, Jess. 298 00:11:28,276 --> 00:11:30,151 Okay, go after what you want. 299 00:11:30,185 --> 00:11:31,819 Just make sure that 300 00:11:31,853 --> 00:11:33,454 what you want... 301 00:11:33,488 --> 00:11:36,691 doesn't make you a cog on the wheel 302 00:11:36,725 --> 00:11:39,593 - of a larger, flawed system. - Stop it. 303 00:11:39,628 --> 00:11:41,128 Shut your mouth. 304 00:11:41,163 --> 00:11:42,730 'Cause what you're saying is beautiful. 305 00:11:42,764 --> 00:11:45,366 I'm gonna go put on my power suit. 306 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,034 High and loud, girl. Whoo! 307 00:11:47,069 --> 00:11:48,169 Um... 308 00:11:48,203 --> 00:11:49,170 Good talk, Nick. 309 00:11:49,204 --> 00:11:50,604 With this thing, I feel so sexy, 310 00:11:50,639 --> 00:11:52,373 It's disgusting. 311 00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:53,874 - I think you misunderstood... - Whoo! 312 00:11:57,045 --> 00:11:59,380 - Your representation running late? - Uh, no. 313 00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:00,965 Actually, I'll be representing myself today. 314 00:12:01,148 --> 00:12:01,959 Sorry we're late. 315 00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:04,385 - What? - This building is a total mess. 316 00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,620 Nick Miller of, uh, Cooper, Bishop and Furguson. 317 00:12:06,655 --> 00:12:10,057 As you know, my boss and senior partner, Mr. Winston Furguson. 318 00:12:10,092 --> 00:12:11,225 Gentlemen, pleased to be with you. Please, please 319 00:12:11,259 --> 00:12:13,194 don't get up, don't get up. 320 00:12:13,228 --> 00:12:14,328 I-I insist. 321 00:12:14,363 --> 00:12:17,231 Madam Secretary. 322 00:12:17,265 --> 00:12:19,033 - What are you doing here? - I'm representing you. 323 00:12:19,067 --> 00:12:20,668 - Everything all right? - I'm a bit caught off guard. 324 00:12:20,702 --> 00:12:22,203 I wasn't expecting these two 325 00:12:22,237 --> 00:12:23,804 very real lawyers to show up today. 326 00:12:23,839 --> 00:12:25,539 Well, we wanted to let you know that 327 00:12:25,574 --> 00:12:27,875 the entire firm is standing behind you. Besides, 328 00:12:27,909 --> 00:12:30,044 whether I sit in my office or in here... 329 00:12:30,078 --> 00:12:32,680 it's all billable. Am I right, gentlemen? 330 00:12:34,049 --> 00:12:37,251 Shall we get into this, or just take our pants off? 331 00:12:39,855 --> 00:12:41,722 Ask him a question. 332 00:12:41,757 --> 00:12:43,624 - Let me... Let me do my thing. - Do your thing. 333 00:12:43,658 --> 00:12:45,092 Mr. Baker. 334 00:12:45,127 --> 00:12:46,360 Yes? 335 00:12:49,398 --> 00:12:51,532 What's your home address? 336 00:12:51,566 --> 00:12:53,534 522 Dugan Court Terrace. 337 00:12:53,568 --> 00:12:54,769 Okay. 338 00:12:56,705 --> 00:12:59,173 Uh, no... no further questions. 339 00:12:59,207 --> 00:13:00,908 What? 340 00:13:02,711 --> 00:13:04,078 - Keep going. - Ow! 341 00:13:04,112 --> 00:13:05,846 Just keep going. What are you... 342 00:13:05,881 --> 00:13:07,615 Don't hit me. What are you hitting me for? 343 00:13:07,649 --> 00:13:09,950 - Is everything all right? - Sure it is. The meter's running. 344 00:13:13,588 --> 00:13:15,956 Even though you don't work at Coolidge anymore, 345 00:13:15,991 --> 00:13:18,359 you'll still be Coach Coach to those kids. 346 00:13:18,393 --> 00:13:19,894 It's Coach Coach. 347 00:13:19,928 --> 00:13:21,395 Yeah, Coach Coach. 348 00:13:21,430 --> 00:13:23,197 - Coach Coach. - Coach Coa... 349 00:13:23,231 --> 00:13:24,598 - Coach Coach. - I'm sorry. 350 00:13:24,633 --> 00:13:26,200 It's all good, Jess. 351 00:13:26,234 --> 00:13:28,536 You did what you had to do. 352 00:13:28,570 --> 00:13:30,638 I'm proud of you for that, okay? 353 00:13:30,672 --> 00:13:33,641 - Yeah. - I hope I'm the first of many you fire. 354 00:13:33,675 --> 00:13:34,975 That really means a lot to me. 355 00:13:36,242 --> 00:13:37,378 I am gonna miss those kids, though. 356 00:13:37,412 --> 00:13:39,213 - Yeah. - That's what I'm gonna miss. 357 00:13:39,247 --> 00:13:40,881 Those little... those little bastards. 358 00:13:40,916 --> 00:13:42,416 Little Ronnie. 359 00:13:42,451 --> 00:13:44,718 Ronnie's so clumsy and slow. 360 00:13:44,753 --> 00:13:46,787 - Yeah. - Thomas. 361 00:13:46,822 --> 00:13:50,024 I mean, he's strong, but that boy is a classic middle child. 362 00:13:50,058 --> 00:13:53,294 He's just looking for love, up, back and sideways. 363 00:13:54,629 --> 00:13:57,431 And Maurice. 364 00:13:59,020 --> 00:14:01,268 He always makes a mess whenever he eats a Popsicle. 365 00:14:01,303 --> 00:14:02,636 It's, like, dude, 366 00:14:02,671 --> 00:14:04,338 stop sucking your Popsicle like that, man. 367 00:14:04,372 --> 00:14:06,240 You're never gonna get a girlfriend like that. 368 00:14:07,776 --> 00:14:09,076 And then there's Hunter. 369 00:14:09,110 --> 00:14:10,344 God... 370 00:14:10,378 --> 00:14:13,414 Fat... cross-eyed... 371 00:14:13,448 --> 00:14:15,149 clod-hopping Hunter. 372 00:14:15,183 --> 00:14:17,485 Hunter is the sweetest little idiot 373 00:14:17,519 --> 00:14:19,086 there ever was. 374 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,322 He's so sweet! 375 00:14:21,356 --> 00:14:23,157 He's so sweet! 376 00:14:23,191 --> 00:14:25,493 Ahh... 377 00:14:26,628 --> 00:14:28,162 Screw this! 378 00:14:28,196 --> 00:14:31,098 Because... you told me... 379 00:14:31,132 --> 00:14:34,668 to go after what I wanted, and this is not what I wanted. 380 00:14:34,703 --> 00:14:37,037 Let's go! We're gonna get you to that game! 381 00:14:37,072 --> 00:14:38,305 It's okay. They're playing Pasadena. 382 00:14:38,340 --> 00:14:40,708 They don't stand a chance. 383 00:14:40,742 --> 00:14:42,142 Pasadena has a bunch of bitch-ass tricks. 384 00:14:42,177 --> 00:14:43,511 Weren't raised right. 385 00:14:43,545 --> 00:14:46,680 Hey, what do you want? 386 00:14:46,715 --> 00:14:48,983 I don't know. I want to be there. 387 00:14:49,017 --> 00:14:52,520 So, spike that ball! 388 00:14:52,554 --> 00:14:56,123 That was not a ball. That was beer. 389 00:14:56,157 --> 00:14:57,925 I know. I feel really bad about it. 390 00:14:57,959 --> 00:14:59,727 - You know what? Don't feel bad! - Let's go! 391 00:14:59,761 --> 00:15:01,795 - Let's go! - You got me all fired up! 392 00:15:01,830 --> 00:15:03,430 I think you're gonna have to drive. 393 00:15:06,131 --> 00:15:07,697 Mr. Miller: "Were you or were you not 394 00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:09,099 wearing oversized shoes in the store?" 395 00:15:09,133 --> 00:15:12,002 Mr. Baker: "I was not. I told you that." 396 00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,638 Mr Miller: "But are you sure?" Mr. Schmidt: "Shut up, Nick." 397 00:15:14,672 --> 00:15:16,640 Mr. Miller: "Let me do this. Ow. Stop it." 398 00:15:16,674 --> 00:15:18,975 Mr. Schmidt: "Stop what? You're hitting yourself." 399 00:15:19,010 --> 00:15:21,177 Mr. Miller: "You're a child." 400 00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,680 Mr. Schmidt: "A child would be a better lawyer." 401 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:26,149 Mr. Furguson: "Children are our future." 402 00:15:26,183 --> 00:15:27,984 Mr. Berklan: "So true." 403 00:15:28,019 --> 00:15:29,586 Mr. Miller: "I need to regroup. 404 00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:31,087 I'm gonna stall a little bit. Watch this. 405 00:15:31,122 --> 00:15:33,490 Could the lady typer read that back?" 406 00:15:33,524 --> 00:15:34,891 All right, all right, we've had enough. 407 00:15:34,925 --> 00:15:36,760 My client is graciously willing 408 00:15:36,794 --> 00:15:38,862 to settle for $20,000. 409 00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:41,264 As an actual real attorney, 410 00:15:41,298 --> 00:15:42,699 I highly suggest you take the deal. 411 00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:45,435 - Great. We'll do... - Not a chance. 412 00:15:45,469 --> 00:15:46,436 There's not a chance. 413 00:15:46,470 --> 00:15:47,537 Sidebar. Come on, Schmidt. 414 00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:48,772 - Hurry up. - Just... 415 00:15:49,974 --> 00:15:52,142 You are not taking that settlement. 416 00:15:52,176 --> 00:15:53,677 Well, Nick, at least if it's $20,000, 417 00:15:53,711 --> 00:15:55,578 I can get out of that hole some day. 418 00:15:55,613 --> 00:15:58,048 I've got a plan. You just have to give me a chance. 419 00:15:59,617 --> 00:16:01,051 Can you believe in me? 420 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,286 All right, I believe in you. Deal. 421 00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:05,355 - Deal. - What's the plan? 422 00:16:05,389 --> 00:16:07,290 Oh, I'm not telling you. You're gonna get too mad. Let's go. 423 00:16:07,324 --> 00:16:09,592 Nick, I take it back! I don't... I don't believe in you! 424 00:16:11,462 --> 00:16:12,962 Here. 425 00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:17,233 How long is this game? 426 00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,502 Go get 'em, Coach. 427 00:16:19,537 --> 00:16:22,639 All right, listen up, you no-talent, 428 00:16:22,673 --> 00:16:24,441 idiot babies! 429 00:16:24,475 --> 00:16:27,043 Give me that. Give me that. Give me that. Give me that. 430 00:16:27,078 --> 00:16:28,378 Oh, thank God. 431 00:16:28,412 --> 00:16:29,946 Bring it in. 432 00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:31,281 Come on. 433 00:16:31,315 --> 00:16:33,550 All right, now, 434 00:16:33,584 --> 00:16:35,652 who is gonna win this match?! 435 00:16:35,686 --> 00:16:36,986 Coolidge! 436 00:16:37,021 --> 00:16:38,054 Who's number one? 437 00:16:38,089 --> 00:16:39,656 Coolidge! 438 00:16:39,690 --> 00:16:40,790 Let me hear it! Who are we? 439 00:16:40,825 --> 00:16:42,392 - Coolidge! - Rakim! 440 00:16:42,426 --> 00:16:44,260 Really, Rakim? Like I just walked you 441 00:16:44,295 --> 00:16:46,629 right up to it, and you're gonna... We're gonna talk. 442 00:16:46,664 --> 00:16:48,898 - Coolidge! - Too late, man. It's too late. 443 00:16:48,933 --> 00:16:51,067 All right, guys, get out there and make me proud! 444 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:54,771 - Ms. Day? - What? 445 00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:57,574 What is going on? I thought you fired Coach. 446 00:16:57,608 --> 00:17:00,143 Look, Coach loves the kids, and the kids love him. 447 00:17:00,177 --> 00:17:02,479 I want this job, but I'm not going to do it your way. 448 00:17:02,513 --> 00:17:04,848 I'm not going to let our best people go. 449 00:17:04,882 --> 00:17:08,451 You were the one who told me, we have no money. 450 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,820 Yeah, but we can make it up in other ways, we can be creative. 451 00:17:10,855 --> 00:17:12,756 We can rent out the multipurpose room 452 00:17:12,790 --> 00:17:14,691 after school to local clubs. 453 00:17:14,725 --> 00:17:16,493 And where will the orchestra practice? 454 00:17:16,527 --> 00:17:18,695 Did you ever consider that, Ms. Day? 455 00:17:18,729 --> 00:17:21,513 Or were you too busy buying a ladies bike? 456 00:17:22,067 --> 00:17:23,633 - What? - They can use the library. 457 00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,368 No one goes in there anyway. 458 00:17:25,402 --> 00:17:26,803 Yeah, let's burn the books! 459 00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:29,639 Except for The Da Vinci Code. 460 00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:32,542 Well, that took a weird turn, but... 461 00:17:32,576 --> 00:17:34,778 Thank you, Susan. That-that's so nice. 462 00:17:34,812 --> 00:17:36,813 What a great solution. 463 00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:38,782 Come on! Let's do it! 464 00:17:38,816 --> 00:17:41,718 Oh! Hunter, you animal! 465 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,689 Yeah! Hit the robot. 466 00:17:46,724 --> 00:17:48,324 Uh, uh, yeah, hit it. 467 00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:52,829 I guess we can figure out some way to keep him here. 468 00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:55,165 God, you frost my cookies. 469 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,833 Thank you. 470 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,268 Way! Uh! 471 00:17:58,302 --> 00:17:59,702 Wait, what am I... Get... get back out there. 472 00:17:59,737 --> 00:18:01,671 We got... We still have a game to play. 473 00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:02,505 Hey, Coach, guess what? 474 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:04,073 - Ball! Oh. - Oh. 475 00:18:04,108 --> 00:18:05,475 It's okay. 476 00:18:05,509 --> 00:18:07,677 Don't laugh, guys. 477 00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:10,980 - Did you see that hit her face? - I'm okay. I'm gonna sit down. 478 00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:14,717 So, are you gonna sit, or...? 479 00:18:14,752 --> 00:18:16,319 No, I'm gonna stand. 480 00:18:16,353 --> 00:18:17,754 'Cause isn't that what we are doing? 481 00:18:17,788 --> 00:18:19,389 Standing... for the little guy? 482 00:18:19,423 --> 00:18:20,390 What is the plan? 483 00:18:20,424 --> 00:18:22,392 Injustice! 484 00:18:22,426 --> 00:18:23,760 I will not stand for it. 485 00:18:23,794 --> 00:18:25,428 That is why I will sit right now. 486 00:18:25,462 --> 00:18:27,430 I will sit down 487 00:18:27,464 --> 00:18:29,599 in this chair... 488 00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:34,404 You're negligent! Aah! 489 00:18:34,438 --> 00:18:38,942 Get off me! My neck! My neck! 490 00:18:38,976 --> 00:18:41,511 Seriously? The fall-down on the chair bit? 491 00:18:41,545 --> 00:18:43,179 - Is this your first case? - Yes, it is. 492 00:18:43,214 --> 00:18:46,282 And that is why I'll file petition on petition. 493 00:18:46,317 --> 00:18:47,917 You're gonna wake up in the morning to paperwork. 494 00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:51,087 You're gonna go to bed at night to paperwork. 495 00:18:52,022 --> 00:18:53,590 So how about this, gentlemen? 496 00:18:53,624 --> 00:18:57,594 You pay the $20,000 settlement to your client yourself, 497 00:18:57,628 --> 00:19:00,296 and you'll never see our faces again. 498 00:19:00,331 --> 00:19:01,764 What do you call a lunatic 499 00:19:01,799 --> 00:19:05,268 who's only got one case and no hobbies? 500 00:19:05,302 --> 00:19:07,303 Your worst nightmare. 501 00:19:07,338 --> 00:19:09,973 Let's go, guys. 502 00:19:11,242 --> 00:19:13,877 Listen, Bill, 503 00:19:13,911 --> 00:19:15,645 if you ever want to play with the big boys, 504 00:19:15,679 --> 00:19:18,948 you'll give me a ring, won't you? 505 00:19:21,418 --> 00:19:23,753 This is a baseball card. 506 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:26,256 Yeah. 507 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,290 All right! 508 00:19:27,324 --> 00:19:29,158 - All right. You did it. - I did it. 509 00:19:29,193 --> 00:19:30,260 - Salud. - Cheers! 510 00:19:31,973 --> 00:19:33,057 - Oh! - Oh! 511 00:19:33,097 --> 00:19:33,842 Another round of shots. 512 00:19:34,024 --> 00:19:35,832 - On the house! - You don't get to say that, Winnie. 513 00:19:35,866 --> 00:19:37,066 You know that, right? Okay. 514 00:19:37,101 --> 00:19:39,068 Oh, I knew you'd come back for me. 515 00:19:39,103 --> 00:19:42,138 So what do you want to do now? You want to just drive? 516 00:19:42,172 --> 00:19:43,840 Oh, no. Mike! 517 00:19:43,874 --> 00:19:45,341 - What? - Ple... I got it. 518 00:19:45,376 --> 00:19:46,676 Thank you. 519 00:19:46,710 --> 00:19:48,645 Hey, what you doing here? 520 00:19:48,679 --> 00:19:50,179 - I just wanted to come and say... - Mm-hmm. 521 00:19:50,214 --> 00:19:51,514 First things first. 522 00:19:51,548 --> 00:19:53,349 The legal drinking age in Australia is 18. 523 00:19:53,384 --> 00:19:55,485 Second, you're really beautiful. 524 00:19:55,519 --> 00:19:56,986 Like, you're really beautiful. 525 00:19:57,021 --> 00:19:59,088 Like, I want to take you out some time. 526 00:19:59,123 --> 00:20:01,824 But because I'm 20 and already at a bit of a disadvantage, 527 00:20:01,859 --> 00:20:03,860 I thought I'd come and do some uncharacteristic 528 00:20:03,894 --> 00:20:05,662 self-promotion to help the cause? 529 00:20:05,696 --> 00:20:07,130 - Okay. - And let you know that 530 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,865 well, I just opened my own business. 531 00:20:08,899 --> 00:20:11,000 I build boats. 532 00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:13,036 Uh, wooden boats with my hands. 533 00:20:13,070 --> 00:20:15,805 - Mm-hmm. - Um, old ladies love me. 534 00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:17,307 They call me sensitive. 535 00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,641 And I'm a really good cook. 536 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,710 But I know three dishes, 537 00:20:20,744 --> 00:20:22,406 and two of those dishes are the same thing. 538 00:20:24,214 --> 00:20:26,316 Yeah, that's about it, so, what do you think? 539 00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:27,784 Do you want to get a drink? 540 00:20:27,818 --> 00:20:29,519 Like a soft drink with you? 541 00:20:29,553 --> 00:20:31,354 - Soft drink, a walk. - Can you have a coffee? 542 00:20:31,388 --> 00:20:32,989 - Yeah, I love coffee. - Mm-hmm. 543 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:36,626 It's one of the three meals that I know how I make. 544 00:20:36,660 --> 00:20:39,228 All right. 545 00:20:39,263 --> 00:20:40,997 - Oh, do it! - Well, done, sir! 546 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:42,532 - Oh! - Oh, yeah. 547 00:20:42,566 --> 00:20:43,733 Or you know what? We could 548 00:20:43,767 --> 00:20:45,702 actually... we could probably just go now. 549 00:20:45,736 --> 00:20:47,837 I'd like to comb your hair, you hunk. 550 00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,172 I don't know who they are. They just come in here, 551 00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:50,873 and they drink, and make a lot of noise 552 00:20:50,908 --> 00:20:52,175 and talk about things they don't know about! 553 00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,576 Hey, Mike, I'm gonna take a break. Um... 554 00:20:53,610 --> 00:20:55,345 I don't know when I'll be back. I'll just meet you out front. 555 00:20:56,747 --> 00:20:57,880 Stop what you're doing. 556 00:20:57,915 --> 00:21:00,416 There's a lawyer here to make... 557 00:21:00,451 --> 00:21:01,818 Jessica? 558 00:21:01,852 --> 00:21:03,853 Jessica, I won the case. 559 00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:09,759 If you woke up right now, we could be making love. 560 00:21:09,793 --> 00:21:11,561 Jessica? 561 00:21:11,595 --> 00:21:14,197 Power couple. 562 00:21:30,391 --> 00:21:33,614 Synced and corrected by backinblack www.addic7ed.com