1
00:00:17,670 --> 00:00:20,470
- (chuckles)
- How do I look? What do you guys think?
2
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,430
Not bad, Winston. I'll
tell you what, man...
3
00:00:22,470 --> 00:00:23,630
you look like the funny
guy from Police Academy
4
00:00:23,670 --> 00:00:25,240
who does the... the voices,
5
00:00:25,270 --> 00:00:27,140
- and different sounds.
- (Imitates radio beeping and siren wailing)
6
00:00:27,170 --> 00:00:28,940
God, I wish marketers had a uniform.
7
00:00:28,970 --> 00:00:30,070
- (construction clatter begins in distance)
- To Winston Bishop,
8
00:00:30,110 --> 00:00:31,340
owner of cats,
9
00:00:31,380 --> 00:00:34,010
taker of baths, graduate of the LAPD.
10
00:00:34,050 --> 00:00:36,780
- (workman shouts, clatter and banging continue)
- We are so...
11
00:00:36,820 --> 00:00:38,950
I'm so proud of you!
12
00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:40,650
- What?
- I'm so proud of you.
13
00:00:40,690 --> 00:00:41,750
- You're proud of me?
- Oh!
14
00:00:41,790 --> 00:00:44,920
When is this night construction gonna stop?
15
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,000
I actually don't mind it.
16
00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:47,190
Gets me ready for all the loud action
17
00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:48,560
on the job, you know what I mean?
18
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,360
Something has gotta change.
19
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:53,660
(electric engine whirring)
20
00:00:56,130 --> 00:00:57,270
(whirring stops)
21
00:01:00,510 --> 00:01:02,110
(whirring resumes)
22
00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:08,710
Well, don't worry, 'cause
I have called the city's
23
00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:11,120
automated help desk and
I've also sent out an e-mail
24
00:01:11,150 --> 00:01:14,520
to information@losangeles.gov,
so action has been taken.
25
00:01:14,550 --> 00:01:16,220
Jess, don't you know how democracy works?
26
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,590
We need to get out there and
grease palms, blackmail people.
27
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,860
We need to send them an
envelope filled with fake blood
28
00:01:20,890 --> 00:01:23,290
and... and a note that says...
29
00:01:23,330 --> 00:01:24,770
"I know."
30
00:01:24,770 --> 00:01:25,800
- What?
- (Winston clears throat)
31
00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:28,370
- As if... as if... we know what's really going on.
- Schmidt, you do
32
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,400
realize you're saying this
in front of a police officer.
33
00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:31,670
- I'm so sorry.
- A little respect.
34
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:32,900
Can I try on your uniform?
35
00:01:32,940 --> 00:01:34,170
No, this uniform
36
00:01:34,210 --> 00:01:36,610
is for official police business.
37
00:01:39,340 --> 00:01:40,380
(whoops) Yeah.
38
00:01:40,410 --> 00:01:41,710
- Looking good, man.
- Yeah.
39
00:01:41,750 --> 00:01:43,310
We got a code Jewish, code Jewish.
40
00:01:43,350 --> 00:01:44,880
You under "ch'arrest."
41
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,920
I can't believe Winston's gonna be a cop.
42
00:01:46,950 --> 00:01:49,490
I mean, he's the gentlest person I know.
43
00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:50,920
He once broke his arm wrapping presents.
44
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,060
Remember when he made this?
45
00:01:53,090 --> 00:01:54,560
He's the sweetest guy in the world, man.
46
00:01:54,590 --> 00:01:56,730
He's just so nice and...
47
00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:59,200
- vulnerable.
- Yeah.
48
00:01:59,230 --> 00:02:01,200
Although...
49
00:02:01,230 --> 00:02:03,130
Don't know what this is for.
50
00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:04,600
WINSTON: Hey. What're you guys doing?
51
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,900
Uh, n... nothing, man.
52
00:02:06,940 --> 00:02:09,510
Look, I'm a little worried about you, okay?
53
00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:11,040
- And so is Coach.
- (Chuckles)
54
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:12,110
Kind of worried about you, man.
55
00:02:12,140 --> 00:02:14,110
Guys, calm down. I understand,
56
00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:16,150
I get it, and I'm... and
I'm flattered that you're
57
00:02:16,180 --> 00:02:18,250
concerned about me, but I
signed up for this, remember?
58
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:19,950
Also, my training officer
is gonna be with me
59
00:02:19,990 --> 00:02:21,450
the entire time.
60
00:02:21,490 --> 00:02:23,120
He's got a partner.
61
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:24,290
- I forgot about the partner.
- That's huge.
62
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:25,760
- We're silly. Yeah.
- Yeah.
63
00:02:25,790 --> 00:02:27,930
It's supposed to be a real bad-ass, too.
64
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:30,930
Was in a biker gang for
three years, undercover.
65
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,730
Can't go back to Arizona no more.
66
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:35,370
- Is that True Detective?
- Apparently eats bullets as a party trick.
67
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,570
- Great, that's really good.
- That makes sense, what are you, uh...
68
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,870
- Yeah, yeah, definitely.
- What's that?
69
00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,670
- What the... ?
- WINSTON: Uh...
70
00:02:41,710 --> 00:02:43,240
Which... Oh, that?
71
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:44,880
It's a, uh...
72
00:02:44,910 --> 00:02:46,280
it's a project.
73
00:02:47,550 --> 00:02:48,810
I've had a report of people
74
00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:50,310
acting lame back here.
75
00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:51,520
SCHMIDT: Ow, Jess!
76
00:02:51,550 --> 00:02:53,520
Also, I tazed Schmidt.
77
00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:55,150
WINSTON: All right, seriously...
78
00:02:55,190 --> 00:02:57,020
no more playing with the uniform.
79
00:02:57,060 --> 00:03:00,320
Officer Leslie Biggins.
80
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,860
Okay, Biggins, so Bishop's
gonna be next, okay? Come on.
81
00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,160
All right, here we go.
82
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,700
Officer Hank Bishop.
83
00:03:04,730 --> 00:03:06,060
Eh... Oh, that one.
84
00:03:07,870 --> 00:03:09,830
Officer Win...
85
00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:11,640
- ... field Bishop.
- Ooh.
86
00:03:11,670 --> 00:03:14,470
Well that's gonna cause a lot
of mix-ups over at the station.
87
00:03:14,510 --> 00:03:16,310
Officer Winston Bishop.
88
00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:17,880
ALL: Oh! (Whooping)
89
00:03:17,910 --> 00:03:19,740
(cheering, whistling)
90
00:03:21,210 --> 00:03:23,810
- Winston...
- ALL: Winston, Winston,
91
00:03:23,850 --> 00:03:26,120
ALL (chanting): Winston, Winston, Winston,
92
00:03:26,150 --> 00:03:28,020
- Winston, Winston... !
- COACH: Yes.
93
00:03:28,050 --> 00:03:29,550
- Winnie!
- (Horn blares)
94
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:32,690
- Aah!
- Sorry.
95
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,430
Wow, a lot of city officials around here.
96
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,400
Maybe somebody can help
us with our noise problem.
97
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:44,500
Okay, enough of this by-the-book nonsense.
98
00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:45,770
It's time to play hardball.
99
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,710
- Be a shark, Jess. Not a dolphin.
- Right.
100
00:03:47,740 --> 00:03:49,470
So I shouldn't be the
smartest and friendliest
101
00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:52,010
creature in the ocean?
That makes sense, bro.
102
00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:54,010
Sharks eat whatever they
want. Dolphins... they jump
103
00:03:54,050 --> 00:03:55,480
through hoops, so, yeah,
I think it does make sense.
104
00:03:55,510 --> 00:03:56,510
No, it's awesome, bro.
105
00:03:56,550 --> 00:03:58,480
Okay, stop mockingly saying "bro."
106
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,280
My uncle was arrested for
having sex with a dolphin.
107
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,350
- What?
- What?
108
00:04:03,490 --> 00:04:04,820
Carry on.
109
00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:07,090
I'm having a lot of difficulty
nailing you down, Ryan.
110
00:04:07,130 --> 00:04:10,760
Oh, there's councilwoman Fawn Moscato.
111
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,100
She's from our district.
112
00:04:12,130 --> 00:04:14,170
Yummo.
113
00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,170
- Where do I place my ballot?
- She better get ready,
114
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,970
'cause she's about to have
a very friendly conversation
115
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,740
with a concerned citizen... bro.
116
00:04:21,770 --> 00:04:23,980
Okay, Jess, it's not gonna do anything.
117
00:04:24,010 --> 00:04:25,810
Won't make a difference.
Like what I did there
118
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,410
with the ballot thing?
It was a good joke, right?
119
00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:28,980
Didn't get the reaction I thought
120
00:04:29,010 --> 00:04:30,610
- it was gonna get from you guys.
- No, we got it.
121
00:04:30,650 --> 00:04:32,380
- We got it, bro.
- Oh, I get it.
122
00:04:32,420 --> 00:04:34,220
And you know what, I've
seen the Bollywood movies,
123
00:04:34,250 --> 00:04:35,550
I've seen the UK Office.
124
00:04:35,590 --> 00:04:37,560
Not a fan, not a fan.
125
00:04:37,590 --> 00:04:39,120
Congratulations. These are from all of us,
126
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,520
but I'm the one that got 'em for you.
127
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:41,930
- Wow, they're big.
- So, Winnie,
128
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,560
where's your bad-ass training officer?
129
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,900
Oh, guys, I would like
for you to meet the person
130
00:04:45,930 --> 00:04:48,100
who will be training me as I brave the
131
00:04:48,130 --> 00:04:50,500
mean streets of L.A.: Officer Aly Nelson.
132
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:51,870
She's so small.
133
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:53,540
- What... say...
- Excuse me?
134
00:04:53,570 --> 00:04:54,740
You're so small, you're...
135
00:04:54,770 --> 00:04:56,110
- What is happening?
- I think what he was
136
00:04:56,140 --> 00:04:58,040
- trying to say was that, um...
- Yeah?
137
00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,880
we were expecting someone who looks
138
00:04:59,910 --> 00:05:01,950
a little more like a cop
in the traditional sense.
139
00:05:01,980 --> 00:05:03,450
- That's what I meant.
- No, no, no...
140
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:04,880
- Wow. No, no, no.
- I'm not trying to
141
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,850
offend you, we were
just expecting, like, uh,
142
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,520
either a really strong
man or kind of like a guy
143
00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:09,650
with, like, a mustache.
144
00:05:09,690 --> 00:05:11,160
Got it. And flowers are a...
145
00:05:11,190 --> 00:05:13,490
that's a normal thing
to give to a grown man?
146
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,290
Or are they trees?
147
00:05:15,330 --> 00:05:17,500
I can't tell, I'm so small.
148
00:05:17,530 --> 00:05:19,560
- Cool friends, Bishop.
- No, wait,
149
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,000
Officer Nelson, just...
150
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:23,670
Thank you. Thank you very much, you guys.
151
00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:26,240
Oh, also, thank you for the flowers.
152
00:05:26,270 --> 00:05:29,570
And just we're clear... the
first thank you was sarcastic,
153
00:05:29,610 --> 00:05:31,210
because you embarrassed me,
154
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,910
but the second thank you
155
00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:36,080
was sincere as hell, because
these flowers are glorious.
156
00:05:36,110 --> 00:05:38,020
You're welcome.
157
00:05:38,050 --> 00:05:40,380
I'm sorry about the construction
noise... it's an issue close
158
00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:43,050
to my heart... I do charity
work with deaf children.
159
00:05:43,090 --> 00:05:44,890
Of course, they would welcome the noise,
160
00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,090
because it would mean they could hear.
161
00:05:47,130 --> 00:05:48,660
Let me let you in on a little secret.
162
00:05:48,690 --> 00:05:51,360
Just go to the public works web site
163
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:54,100
and download this form.
164
00:05:54,130 --> 00:05:56,570
- You're a dear, Fawn.
- (Laughs)
165
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,900
I made a pun and I didn't know it.
166
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,300
You're too much.
167
00:06:00,340 --> 00:06:01,670
- Oh.
- Hi.
168
00:06:01,710 --> 00:06:04,380
Schmidt, this is Fawn Moscato.
169
00:06:04,410 --> 00:06:06,380
She was just giving me a shortcut to file
170
00:06:06,410 --> 00:06:08,910
some complaints about the noise.
171
00:06:08,950 --> 00:06:10,410
(whispers): Looks like
someone brought a shark
172
00:06:10,450 --> 00:06:12,250
to the dolphin show.
173
00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:14,590
(squeaks)
174
00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:16,250
That's a dolphin noise.
175
00:06:16,290 --> 00:06:17,920
Ah. Very good.
176
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,090
Councilwoman Moscato, excuse my trembling,
177
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,160
but it's an honor.
178
00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:23,590
- Your head is enormous.
- Why, thank you.
179
00:06:23,630 --> 00:06:27,130
JESS: So you're taking her
out to dinner? That's your plan?
180
00:06:27,170 --> 00:06:29,230
I'm intoxicating a single,
overworked public official
181
00:06:29,270 --> 00:06:30,800
with the pleasure of my company.
182
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:32,200
Which I will then parlay
183
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,370
into getting her to fix our problem.
184
00:06:34,410 --> 00:06:36,310
Are my sleeves even? This is ridiculous.
185
00:06:36,340 --> 00:06:38,380
You know, my new tailor
sews like an army medic.
186
00:06:38,410 --> 00:06:40,480
I'm not being overdramatic
when I say that I would rather
187
00:06:40,510 --> 00:06:42,350
sit naked on a hot grill
188
00:06:42,380 --> 00:06:44,320
than wear something off the rack.
189
00:06:44,350 --> 00:06:45,650
Schmidt, just don't screw this up.
190
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,350
She's a decent woman.
191
00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:51,060
Oh, excuse me, at some
point in the evening, can you
192
00:06:51,090 --> 00:06:52,990
let me know that I have a
call from Karl Lagerfeld?
193
00:06:53,030 --> 00:06:54,530
Schmidt.
194
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,090
Bob, how are you?
195
00:06:56,130 --> 00:06:58,000
Tony, love you in a chino.
196
00:06:58,030 --> 00:06:59,900
Guillermo, fire up that
grill, Fawn's hungry.
197
00:06:59,930 --> 00:07:00,970
GUILLERMO: Sí, señora.
198
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:04,000
I'm Fawn Moscato.
199
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,870
And I approve this scotch.
200
00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:08,210
Oh, goodness.
201
00:07:11,810 --> 00:07:14,070
Okay, so I'm almost
finished with form 7D42,
202
00:07:14,110 --> 00:07:18,080
but I'm not sure what to put
down for landlord's birth city.
203
00:07:18,110 --> 00:07:21,010
Hey. Ooh. What you doing, hot shot?
204
00:07:21,050 --> 00:07:24,180
I was feeling saucy. I've
had a glass of red wine.
205
00:07:24,220 --> 00:07:25,890
Red wine makes you bonkers horny.
206
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,090
I'll make you a deal.
207
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,520
When I finish a form,
208
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,020
you can take off an article
of clothing, and that way,
209
00:07:31,060 --> 00:07:33,630
when I'm done, then we can
just go nuts on each other.
210
00:07:33,660 --> 00:07:35,800
- Deal.
- Hey, I'm not finished yet.
211
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:36,730
(sighs)
212
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,430
Oh!
213
00:07:38,470 --> 00:07:40,700
- This is America! Wear pants!
- JESS: Red wine. Sorry!
214
00:07:40,740 --> 00:07:43,440
- Sorry. Sorry. Very sorry.
- Sorry. Sorry. Geez. Yeah.
215
00:07:43,470 --> 00:07:45,110
COACH: So, tomorrow's
your first shift, huh?
216
00:07:45,140 --> 00:07:47,040
You gonna play the name game,
217
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,240
- do something fun and safe like that?
- (Phone chimes)
218
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,710
Dude, I'm gonna be in a
patrol car the entire time.
219
00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:53,110
(laughing)
220
00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:55,550
I just got a text from my buddy Reynolds.
221
00:07:55,580 --> 00:07:56,920
Working his first shift,
222
00:07:56,950 --> 00:07:59,350
he got stabbed in the leg by a little girl.
223
00:07:59,390 --> 00:08:01,660
(laughs)
224
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:02,990
I love Reynolds, man. He makes me laugh.
225
00:08:03,020 --> 00:08:04,620
- That's funny...
- You think that's funny?
226
00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:06,960
- To be stabbed by a little kid, yeah.
- COACH: On the job.
227
00:08:06,990 --> 00:08:09,000
- Right. 'Cause you get paid.
- That you're about to do.
228
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,030
Right, 'cause it's a
child, and it's hilarious.
229
00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:12,570
You don't like getting cut.
230
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,130
You're very physically sensitive.
231
00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:16,470
I am. Paper cuts give me headaches.
232
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:18,000
- I can't wait to meet him.
- Yeah.
233
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,110
- Maybe he'll stab me.
- Guys, chill out, okay?
234
00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:20,840
I told you, I got my partner
235
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,540
- to protect me, remember?
- The little one?
236
00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:24,610
The one would could take
a nap in a match box?
237
00:08:24,650 --> 00:08:27,150
Which reminds me... I'm gonna
make her a sandwich tomorrow.
238
00:08:27,180 --> 00:08:28,820
I might even throw in a crossword puzzle
239
00:08:28,850 --> 00:08:30,580
with Winston-related clues
240
00:08:30,620 --> 00:08:31,950
so she can get to know me better.
241
00:08:31,990 --> 00:08:34,190
"Who likes cats?" Winston, across.
242
00:08:37,260 --> 00:08:39,890
- I don't like this.
- Mm-mm.
243
00:08:39,930 --> 00:08:42,000
- His training officer can't protect him!
- She's too tiny.
244
00:08:42,030 --> 00:08:43,460
She looks like she won the silver medal
245
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:45,000
in Athens for the balance beam.
246
00:08:45,030 --> 00:08:46,430
Girl could drown in a raindrop.
247
00:08:46,470 --> 00:08:47,930
I mean, that's girl's...
248
00:08:47,970 --> 00:08:50,040
I mean, she...
249
00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:52,070
I can't think of one 'cause
I'm so worried about Winston!
250
00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:54,270
I'm worried about him, too,
but I can still think of 'em.
251
00:08:54,310 --> 00:08:57,080
Uh, girl's so, uh... Ugh!
252
00:08:57,110 --> 00:08:58,450
She looks like a Persian Webster.
253
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,080
Ah...
254
00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:03,720
Girl's like a pepperoni.
255
00:09:03,750 --> 00:09:06,320
- Why are you here?
- We brought you a gift.
256
00:09:06,350 --> 00:09:08,520
Assorted candies. Please enjoy.
257
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:10,220
They are delicious.
258
00:09:10,260 --> 00:09:12,230
Now, I'm sure you have
friends and family of officers
259
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,330
coming in here all the
time to check on them.
260
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,160
No. No, this would be a first.
261
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,760
- Really? This is the first?
- What do you guys need?
262
00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:19,200
Well, we are here because, uh,
263
00:09:19,230 --> 00:09:21,700
Winston is our best friend,
as you know, and, um...
264
00:09:21,740 --> 00:09:23,340
- (clears throat) ... we're worried about him.
- Yeah.
265
00:09:23,370 --> 00:09:24,710
And I'm not saying that you're bad
266
00:09:24,740 --> 00:09:26,310
at your job as a training officer.
267
00:09:26,340 --> 00:09:28,440
But I'm not saying you're good at your job.
268
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,450
And that's why we're here...
to kind of see where you're at,
269
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:32,750
to see if you're ready
270
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,620
to protect our asset, our dear friend.
271
00:09:34,650 --> 00:09:36,180
Let's... let's be diplomatic.
272
00:09:36,220 --> 00:09:38,950
Did Bishop put you up to
this? Does he have some sort
273
00:09:38,990 --> 00:09:41,150
- of problem with me being his training officer?
- Not at all. No.
274
00:09:41,190 --> 00:09:42,920
Oh, he is going to pay for
this. He is going to pay.
275
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,160
- He shouldn't pay for this.
- This has nothing to do with it.
276
00:09:44,190 --> 00:09:45,990
- This is about us.
- Okay.
277
00:09:46,030 --> 00:09:47,290
First of all, you shouldn't
get mad at him. Get mad at us.
278
00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:48,860
- Get out!
- It's good to see you.
279
00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:51,770
- Get out.
- Okay.
280
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,170
Yo. Ry-guy. (Laughs)
281
00:09:59,210 --> 00:10:00,370
I finished printing out the forms.
282
00:10:00,410 --> 00:10:02,010
- Let's get goofy.
- Mm.
283
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,240
- Come on!
- Aah. Mm-mm.
284
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:05,550
You got a real Dudley Moore thing
285
00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:08,350
- going on right now, and I like it.
- (Groans)
286
00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:11,080
Jessica Day, I think I'm in love.
287
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:14,290
- Sorry. Did you just say you were in love?
- That woman is a dynamo.
288
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,160
So let's talk about the whole
construction noise thing.
289
00:10:17,190 --> 00:10:21,360
Has anyone ever told you you
look like a Jewish Kennedy?
290
00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,900
I hope not, because
that would be offensive.
291
00:10:24,930 --> 00:10:27,730
(laughs)
292
00:10:27,770 --> 00:10:29,640
What? I thought you were
supposed to be some kind
293
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:31,410
of big shark, and you were playing her.
294
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,340
About the noise.
295
00:10:33,370 --> 00:10:35,180
Given the many considerations...
traffic, budgets...
296
00:10:35,210 --> 00:10:37,080
Okay, what is happening?
297
00:10:37,110 --> 00:10:38,510
What are you doing with your thumb?
298
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:41,380
We feel it best to proceed
with the given strategy.
299
00:10:41,420 --> 00:10:43,180
She played you!
300
00:10:43,220 --> 00:10:44,750
I know, and it was wildly arousing!
301
00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:46,550
But let me tell you something, Jess.
302
00:10:46,590 --> 00:10:47,920
She played you, too.
303
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:49,420
- No, she didn't.
- Mm-hmm.
304
00:10:49,460 --> 00:10:51,290
No, she didn't. I filled
out the form, I submitted it.
305
00:10:51,330 --> 00:10:52,890
Here's the confirmation, right here.
306
00:10:52,930 --> 00:10:54,600
"Thank you for your inquiry.
307
00:10:54,630 --> 00:10:58,270
- We will respond in 360-500
days... !"- Isn't she great?
308
00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:00,300
She can't just walk all
over the people of the city
309
00:11:00,340 --> 00:11:01,640
like the Jolly Green Giant.
310
00:11:01,670 --> 00:11:03,270
Jolly Green Giant...
311
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:04,910
He doesn't stomp on people.
312
00:11:04,940 --> 00:11:06,740
He encourages them to eat their vegetables.
313
00:11:06,770 --> 00:11:09,280
You can't let her do this!
We have to keep fighting!
314
00:11:09,310 --> 00:11:11,250
She's taking me to a
ribbon-cutting ceremony
315
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:12,610
at a carniceria tomorrow.
316
00:11:12,650 --> 00:11:14,280
You know, Jess, I really think
317
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,950
that she may be grooming
me to be her arm candy.
318
00:11:16,990 --> 00:11:18,920
This could be a real Bill
and Hillary situation.
319
00:11:18,950 --> 00:11:21,460
You, sir, are no Bill Clinton.
320
00:11:21,490 --> 00:11:22,720
I know. I'm Hillary.
321
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,390
Well, you're not Hillary, either!
322
00:11:24,430 --> 00:11:25,830
I am, too, Hillary!
323
00:11:25,860 --> 00:11:28,630
Hey, man, can you be the one to walk away?
324
00:11:28,660 --> 00:11:30,300
'Cause I just, like...
325
00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:32,730
My little sleeping British
bulldog here is gonna wake up,
326
00:11:32,770 --> 00:11:34,770
and he's gonna get scared if I'm not there.
327
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,770
- Yeah, I got you.
- Yeah.
328
00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:41,630
JESS: A bunch of neighbors
have joined the fight.
329
00:11:41,670 --> 00:11:43,970
See, if you put out an honest message,
330
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,010
you get good, honest people to help you.
331
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:47,710
Per municipal code 2B,
332
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:49,840
construction is prohibited at night.
333
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,550
However, this project's
been issued a waiver
334
00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:54,310
that we are trying to revoke.
335
00:11:54,350 --> 00:11:56,350
Now, I'm going to mash
a muffin into the phone.
336
00:11:56,380 --> 00:11:58,420
You tell me if it makes its way through.
337
00:11:58,450 --> 00:12:01,520
JESS: You're doing a great job, Dave.
338
00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:03,860
It's important to keep it positive.
339
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:06,630
- So, what happened to Schmidt?
- I don't need him. I got this on lockdown.
340
00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:08,860
Yes, it is banana-walnut.
341
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,660
Now I'm gonna tell you the story
342
00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:12,830
of how my daddy spawned with a pony
343
00:12:12,870 --> 00:12:15,640
and made the mud boy... that's me.
344
00:12:15,670 --> 00:12:18,070
"Chapter One... Mama's House."
345
00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:21,570
Make sure they're sharp.
346
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:24,410
It's political suicide to not
cut the ribbon on the first try.
347
00:12:24,450 --> 00:12:25,580
Of course. Look, if there's anyone
348
00:12:25,610 --> 00:12:27,210
who understand the
importance of a sharp knife,
349
00:12:27,250 --> 00:12:29,380
it's a Jewish man.
350
00:12:29,420 --> 00:12:31,380
- Hey, listen, about the construction issue...
- We've discussed that.
351
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:33,720
Look, changing that schedule's
a logistical nightmare,
352
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,620
not to mention the people it'll piss off.
353
00:12:35,660 --> 00:12:38,220
The sewage lobby's involved
in that project, and trust me,
354
00:12:38,260 --> 00:12:39,690
you don't want to cross them.
355
00:12:39,730 --> 00:12:41,490
Did they shoot poopy everywhere?
356
00:12:41,530 --> 00:12:44,660
How old are you? No. No, they just...
357
00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:46,430
They contribute money to my opponent.
358
00:12:46,470 --> 00:12:48,000
Of course. No, I... I knew that.
359
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,640
They... Why would they
shoot poopy everywhere?
360
00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:50,700
- No.
- Yeah. Got it. Hey,
361
00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:52,440
listen, I wanted to warn you.
362
00:12:52,470 --> 00:12:54,340
My roommates have recruited
a gang of derelicts
363
00:12:54,370 --> 00:12:56,880
to... to protest the council meeting.
364
00:12:56,910 --> 00:13:01,180
If only there was someone
who could oppose them.
365
00:13:01,220 --> 00:13:04,750
Of course, I can't, because it's
technically a citizens' forum.
366
00:13:04,790 --> 00:13:07,850
- Are you saying that I should?
- I'm not saying anything.
367
00:13:07,890 --> 00:13:09,760
Oh. Okay.
368
00:13:09,790 --> 00:13:11,490
You're trying to manipulate me again.
369
00:13:11,530 --> 00:13:13,860
You must think that I'm a real shmendrick.
370
00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:16,360
- Well, hello there.
- When we're in public,
371
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,130
- Yeah.
-... Let's just tone down the Jewish thing, okay?
372
00:13:18,170 --> 00:13:19,800
- Let's tone down the Jewish thing.
- Yeah.
373
00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:21,700
I can do that. 100%. Let's
tone down the Jewish...
374
00:13:21,740 --> 00:13:23,400
Hey, by the way, sir,
375
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,610
thank you so much for
keeping the councilwoman safe.
376
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,770
- MAN: Five stars for Arman!
- He's an Uber driver.
377
00:13:27,810 --> 00:13:30,310
- I'm a councilwoman, not a senator.
- Okay, I felt like that...
378
00:13:31,580 --> 00:13:32,780
(gags, coughs)
379
00:13:32,810 --> 00:13:34,910
(coughing)
380
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:37,720
First day on the job. Is this where
381
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,990
you tell me to forget
everything I learned in training?
382
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,290
N... no!
383
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,190
Remember everything.
384
00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:44,460
Bishop, if you have a problem
385
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,090
with me being your training officer,
386
00:13:46,130 --> 00:13:47,460
put down your ice cream cone,
387
00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:49,060
take your frickin'
thumbs out of your mouth,
388
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,460
and say it to my face!
389
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:51,830
What?! I don't have a problem with you.
390
00:13:51,870 --> 00:13:53,330
Did you or did you not
391
00:13:53,370 --> 00:13:54,800
tell your roommates to come check up on me?
392
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,170
- What?! They did that?
- Yeah.
393
00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:00,370
Oh, my goodness, I am
so "furiated" right now.
394
00:14:00,410 --> 00:14:03,410
I am very lucky to have
you as my training officer.
395
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:04,840
My roommates don't speak for me.
396
00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:08,080
I promise you will never
have to see them again.
397
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:09,920
They're right there. They're
literally right there.
398
00:14:12,450 --> 00:14:13,950
Oh...
399
00:14:13,990 --> 00:14:15,520
- Oh, yeah, yeah, they see...
- They got us. Yeah.
400
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,090
- Hey!
- Hey!
401
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,090
(sighs)
402
00:14:19,130 --> 00:14:20,690
When you step to the badge,
403
00:14:20,730 --> 00:14:22,260
the badge step back.
404
00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:26,370
Don't ever say that in my car again.
405
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,070
What the hell are you two doing here? And
why are you talking to Aly behind my back?
406
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:32,410
She said that you guys gave
her weird unwrapped candy
407
00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:34,870
and then you stole toilet
paper from the station bathroom.
408
00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:36,240
We need that toilet paper.
409
00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,410
Because we're worried about you!
410
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,250
We're trying to protect you.
411
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,610
- What?
- She's so small, Winston.
412
00:14:41,650 --> 00:14:43,180
You guys should have faith in me.
413
00:14:43,220 --> 00:14:45,520
I got a badge, I got a
diploma, and I got a special
414
00:14:45,550 --> 00:14:47,150
plastic thing that goes over
my hat for when it rains.
415
00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:48,990
(over radio): We got a 339
in progress at 62 Sage Brush.
416
00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:51,160
- That sounds dangerous. Stop him!
- Hey, what are you doing? What are you doing?
417
00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:53,030
- We can't let you do this!
- We're trying to protect you!
418
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:55,730
- What the hell is your problem?
- This is scary! We're not letting you go on the street!
419
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,730
- This an obstruction of justice. Dude, that is an obstruction...
- You won't die on my watch!
420
00:14:58,770 --> 00:15:02,140
- Hey! Hey, Nick. Nick.
- Oh! I can't give you these 'cause I care about you.
421
00:15:02,170 --> 00:15:03,800
- Nick, give me the keys.
- Don't give 'em back!
422
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:05,340
We love you, man! We love you!
423
00:15:05,370 --> 00:15:06,570
WINSTON: Coach, you know
I can't jump that high!
424
00:15:06,610 --> 00:15:07,970
- Don't test me.
- COACH: We're protecting you.
425
00:15:08,010 --> 00:15:09,880
Give me those damn keys right...
426
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:13,410
Ooh, no, no, no, no... !
427
00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:15,850
That's what you get! (Chuckles)
428
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:16,850
Ow! Ow!
429
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:17,820
I can't go to jail.
430
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,150
I'm too sarcastic for the white gangs.
431
00:15:19,190 --> 00:15:21,350
Yeah, man, I'll get passed
around in there like a bong.
432
00:15:21,390 --> 00:15:22,390
- Shut up.
- Ow!
433
00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:24,860
You're not going to prison.
434
00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:27,630
The dangers of noise pollution are real.
435
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,500
According to the World Wide Web,
436
00:15:29,530 --> 00:15:33,030
it can cause lack of
concentration, nervousness,
437
00:15:33,070 --> 00:15:34,470
and misunderstandings.
438
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,240
(banging)
439
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:37,640
Sir!
440
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,240
Sir...
441
00:15:39,270 --> 00:15:41,140
clearly, manual labor has sculpted
442
00:15:41,180 --> 00:15:44,380
your body perfectly, but
could you please be quiet?
443
00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:46,380
(New York accent): Sorry,
lady, I gotta work all night.
444
00:15:46,410 --> 00:15:49,120
But, sir, people live and work here.
445
00:15:49,150 --> 00:15:52,390
Babies sleep, dogs nap by the window.
446
00:15:52,420 --> 00:15:53,520
Immigrants share noodles
447
00:15:53,550 --> 00:15:56,160
and dance to records, with abandon.
448
00:15:56,190 --> 00:15:58,860
You're right! We should be
looking out for each other.
449
00:15:58,890 --> 00:16:00,530
You said it, handsome guy.
450
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,930
But you know who else
should be looking out for us?
451
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,960
The city.
452
00:16:05,970 --> 00:16:09,100
(cheering and applause)
453
00:16:11,410 --> 00:16:14,610
Would you stop clapping?
This is an abomination.
454
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,440
By the way, he... the only
reason he got that role
455
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,010
is because he's sleeping with her.
456
00:16:18,050 --> 00:16:19,580
You want to get a cheeseburger sandwich?
457
00:16:19,610 --> 00:16:22,380
- My nights just freed up.
- Of course.
458
00:16:22,420 --> 00:16:25,620
That sounds great now that I can hear you.
459
00:16:25,650 --> 00:16:27,690
- Mm. Nothing.
- What? What are you doing?
460
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,120
The cuffs on your jacket
just look a little short.
461
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,130
- What?
- They just look a little short.
462
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,660
Why are you telling me this
now? I got a new tailor.
463
00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:36,100
I'm really insecure about it.
464
00:16:36,130 --> 00:16:37,860
- My God.
- I'm Jessica Day.
465
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:39,870
Thank you for listening.
466
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:42,640
(cheering and applause)
467
00:16:42,670 --> 00:16:44,970
MAN: Tone it down! Stop the noise!
468
00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:49,110
(clearing throat loudly)
469
00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:51,710
Ah. N... noise.
470
00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:52,980
N... noise.
471
00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:55,050
Where would... where
would we be without you?
472
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,880
- I don't know.
- A tree falls,
473
00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:00,550
a cabin is made, uh...
474
00:17:02,990 --> 00:17:05,160
(Schmidt muttering)
475
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:08,130
It just... this doesn't...
doesn't look right.
476
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,630
A woman screams,
477
00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:13,370
a b... a baby is b... a baby is born.
478
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,800
- Maybe if the speaker would stop fiddling with his jacket...
- I just... It...
479
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:17,640
It just doesn't feel like these are...
480
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:19,710
- He's saying all the right things.
- That son-of-a-bitch tailor
481
00:17:19,740 --> 00:17:21,140
ruined my jacket.
482
00:17:21,180 --> 00:17:22,510
(sighs) That... that baby
483
00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:24,640
that screamed becomes a man
484
00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,480
and that... that was the story
of Abra... Abraham Lincoln.
485
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,080
How dare you evoke Lincoln!
486
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:30,850
He was our quietest president!
487
00:17:32,950 --> 00:17:34,920
I feel... I'm just so...
488
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,020
I'm so uncomfortable right
now, because of my sleeves.
489
00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:38,560
I feel like an idiot up here,
490
00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:39,830
in this jacket! Nobody's
telling me my... my...
491
00:17:39,860 --> 00:17:41,160
The tailoring is off! I'm going...
492
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,630
I'm seeing... I'm seeing
a new tailor, everyone.
493
00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:44,030
Sir... ?
494
00:17:44,060 --> 00:17:45,000
My tailor's great.
495
00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:46,670
I'll give you his number: Eight.
496
00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:48,670
I look like a freaking
matador in this thing!
497
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,740
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
498
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,110
Sir, we've heard enough.
499
00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:53,870
- (Schmidt jabbering angrily)
- Stand down! You look weak!
500
00:17:53,910 --> 00:17:56,140
Considering the incoherent
501
00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:58,910
and, frankly, disturbing argument
502
00:17:58,950 --> 00:18:01,880
from the pro-noise lobby, I have no choice
503
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,050
but to recommend a switch
to the day schedule,
504
00:18:04,090 --> 00:18:05,350
effective immediately.
505
00:18:05,390 --> 00:18:06,690
(cheering and applause)
506
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:07,750
New York!
507
00:18:07,790 --> 00:18:09,120
What?
508
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:10,660
I'm Fawn Moscato,
509
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,490
the people's warrior.
510
00:18:12,530 --> 00:18:14,030
You're welcome, Los Angeles!
511
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:16,700
Tomorrow is a new America! Good night!
512
00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:19,130
(cheering and applause)
513
00:18:19,170 --> 00:18:20,800
Hello again.
514
00:18:22,300 --> 00:18:24,500
I would like to once more revisit
515
00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:28,040
the bottomless clause of
the public nudity ordinance.
516
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,040
Oh, my God, I almost
hired that guy as a sub.
517
00:18:34,940 --> 00:18:37,440
So, that was a huge failure.
I feel like a Democrat.
518
00:18:37,470 --> 00:18:39,410
Why'd you have to say that about my jacket?
519
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,440
All right. Okay, look, Jess told me to.
520
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,640
I mean, I thought your sleeves
were fine. And by "fine,"
521
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,980
I mean I could not care less.
522
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,320
Oh, hello, shark.
523
00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:51,320
I am woman,
524
00:18:51,350 --> 00:18:54,450
the smartest species of them all.
525
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:59,330
I didn't realize I'd finished that.
526
00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:01,330
I've been waiting here a while.
527
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:03,400
You underhanded pig woman.
528
00:19:03,430 --> 00:19:06,300
You know, there are certain
things that you don't do,
529
00:19:06,330 --> 00:19:08,670
and exploiting a man's love
of tailoring is one of them.
530
00:19:08,700 --> 00:19:13,140
Which makes what you did
all the more impressive.
531
00:19:13,170 --> 00:19:14,540
Well, I felt dirty.
532
00:19:14,580 --> 00:19:16,280
I felt like Evil Winston.
533
00:19:16,310 --> 00:19:18,410
Remember when Winston
was evil for that week?
534
00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:19,550
I can't believe I blew it with Fawn.
535
00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:20,910
You know, she said that we could have sex
536
00:19:20,950 --> 00:19:22,450
in the room where O.J. tried on the glove.
537
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,950
Schmidt, it doesn't matter
what happened at the meeting.
538
00:19:24,990 --> 00:19:27,950
She doesn't care about
you. She's a power-hungry,
539
00:19:27,990 --> 00:19:31,190
self-obsessed woman who
just wants a man to shut up
540
00:19:31,230 --> 00:19:35,530
and look pretty. That's
not what you want, is it?
541
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:36,960
Please take me back.
542
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,870
Look, I was duped by a doe-eyed pixie
543
00:19:38,900 --> 00:19:41,670
and her Indian henchwoman. Forgive me.
544
00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:42,800
It's fine. It actually worked out.
545
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:44,100
You were such a jackass
546
00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:46,410
up there that no one who
supported the construction
547
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,040
will be able to hold it against me.
548
00:19:48,150 --> 00:19:49,850
Plus, I picked up a ton of votes.
549
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,380
Or as I like to call them...
550
00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:54,550
tiny orgasms.
551
00:19:54,590 --> 00:19:55,690
So let me get this straight:
552
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,550
You let me humiliate myself,
553
00:19:57,590 --> 00:20:00,190
in public, for your own political gain?
554
00:20:00,220 --> 00:20:03,190
Hmm.
555
00:20:03,230 --> 00:20:05,700
Yes.
556
00:20:05,730 --> 00:20:07,160
You're the sexiest
woman that I've ever met.
557
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,500
- Ah...
- Ms. Moscato, wherever you're going,
558
00:20:08,530 --> 00:20:09,500
take me with you.
559
00:20:09,530 --> 00:20:10,970
Please...
560
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,770
it's "Councilwoman."
561
00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:20,810
And I'll call you when I need you.
562
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,780
That is gonna be...
563
00:20:22,810 --> 00:20:24,780
so frustrating.
564
00:20:24,820 --> 00:20:26,380
But I love it.
565
00:20:26,420 --> 00:20:28,180
- Why are we in a church?
- I once saw a priest
566
00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:30,620
drop his keys and bend over and pick it up,
567
00:20:30,650 --> 00:20:33,390
and it was just so human that
it ruined religion for me.
568
00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:35,990
It's a support group for families.
569
00:20:36,030 --> 00:20:37,990
- Pack it down. And you pack it down.
- And now...
570
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:38,960
weird friends.
571
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,560
... until one day, what happens?
572
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:45,570
And I know that his training
officer is scary strong.
573
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:49,070
But, um, he's still my friend
574
00:20:49,110 --> 00:20:50,870
and the bad guys are still bad
575
00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:54,280
and I just wish I could put him
in a giant envelope and just...
576
00:20:54,310 --> 00:20:57,610
just mail him away from
all the bad guys... (crying)
577
00:20:57,650 --> 00:20:59,020
There's no shame in this.
578
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:00,320
Do not judge this man.
579
00:21:00,350 --> 00:21:01,320
We won't.
580
00:21:01,350 --> 00:21:02,620
This is a support group.
581
00:21:02,650 --> 00:21:04,490
I know what you're thinking:
he looks like a little punk.
582
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,420
He looks like a little boy.
583
00:21:06,460 --> 00:21:08,930
We... we try not to call names here.
584
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,760
- NICK: Everybody look down. Don't look at him!
- Good first day, Bishop.
585
00:21:10,790 --> 00:21:13,600
- NICK: You never look at a man when he cries.
- Thanks.
586
00:21:13,630 --> 00:21:16,600
- NICK: Back me up, man.
- You ever let your friends try on your uniform?
587
00:21:16,630 --> 00:21:18,870
- What? No.
- Oh, yeah. Me either.
588
00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:20,440
Don't do it. I'm serious.
589
00:21:20,470 --> 00:21:22,470
- Don't do that.
- I won't. I won't.
590
00:21:22,510 --> 00:21:23,870
MAN: I'm telling you,
591
00:21:23,910 --> 00:21:25,910
- you gotta keep clear!
- What?
592
00:21:25,940 --> 00:21:28,780
I'm... I'm not driving
you to the ER this time!
593
00:21:28,810 --> 00:21:30,280
- It's your problem!
- Get out of the way!
594
00:21:30,310 --> 00:21:31,710
Don't look at me like that!
595
00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:33,080
MAN 2: All right, all right!
596
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:33,830
Morning, Jerry.
597
00:21:33,830 --> 00:21:35,830
- Hey, how are you doing?
- How are you doing?
598
00:21:35,830 --> 00:21:38,490
Eh. Different day, same bucket, right?
599
00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:40,510
Is that today's Times?
600
00:21:41,220 --> 00:21:43,740
Kristof's got a piece on net neutrality.
601
00:21:43,740 --> 00:21:46,090
It's very complex, I
don't know where I stand.
602
00:21:46,090 --> 00:21:47,310
What kind of bagel do
you want this morning?
603
00:21:47,310 --> 00:21:49,210
Uh, poppy seed or sesame?
604
00:21:49,210 --> 00:21:50,430
I'm going sesame today.
605
00:21:50,430 --> 00:21:52,600
- All right.
- Get me a little schmear, would you?