1 00:00:02,283 --> 00:00:04,510 And, uh, one last signature here. 2 00:00:07,267 --> 00:00:08,721 Congratulations. 3 00:00:08,746 --> 00:00:10,501 We are official part owners of the bar! 4 00:00:10,537 --> 00:00:12,370 - Ah! - Yes! 5 00:00:12,405 --> 00:00:14,227 Sir, we won't let you down. 6 00:00:14,252 --> 00:00:15,273 I'm just a notary. 7 00:00:15,308 --> 00:00:17,651 Hey, the note... arize. 8 00:00:17,838 --> 00:00:19,596 All right, we're not gonna let you down. 9 00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:23,615 It's gonna be a little weird, you know, me working for you. 10 00:00:23,650 --> 00:00:25,774 No, no, babe. We're gonna keep it separate. 11 00:00:25,978 --> 00:00:27,220 Ass-Strat's my day job. 12 00:00:27,245 --> 00:00:28,086 I'm more of a show-up-late-night 13 00:00:28,121 --> 00:00:30,220 with-my-Argentinian-friends type of owner. 14 00:00:30,245 --> 00:00:32,541 - Nick's in charge. He's got it. - Okay. 15 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:33,846 Look, it's all about finesse. 16 00:00:33,871 --> 00:00:36,220 Watch. The trick is, is you get super close, 17 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:37,262 but then you pull back. 18 00:00:37,297 --> 00:00:39,130 Watch how Daddy does it. 19 00:00:40,291 --> 00:00:41,141 Oh, no! 20 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,500 Thank you for the back pat... I needed that. 21 00:00:42,535 --> 00:00:43,635 What? 22 00:00:44,004 --> 00:00:45,447 - Well, you have to have beer on the bar... - Uh-huh. 23 00:00:45,472 --> 00:00:47,260 ...because that's what makes it stick. 24 00:00:47,291 --> 00:00:49,204 So now I can do it a billion times on it. 25 00:00:49,229 --> 00:00:49,907 Don't count that first one. 26 00:00:49,943 --> 00:00:51,309 - Don't count that first one. - Okay. Hey. 27 00:00:51,344 --> 00:00:52,744 Look at that. What a game, right? 28 00:00:52,779 --> 00:00:55,413 Screw the boss? Oh, wait. That's you. 29 00:00:55,448 --> 00:00:58,916 - It's up to you to take charge now. - Yeah, yeah, 'cause I'm the manager. 30 00:00:58,952 --> 00:01:00,952 What you need to do is set a meeting. 31 00:01:00,987 --> 00:01:03,655 Establish yourself as a leader. 32 00:01:04,228 --> 00:01:07,078 Within every man there is a man... ager. 33 00:01:07,511 --> 00:01:08,782 What's-what's going on there? 34 00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:09,548 What do you mean? 35 00:01:09,573 --> 00:01:11,296 Your ribcage has give. 36 00:01:11,331 --> 00:01:12,930 You know, KC still hasn't texted me back. 37 00:01:12,966 --> 00:01:14,999 I've been on five dates with her... five dates, 38 00:01:15,035 --> 00:01:16,167 and I still don't know where I stand. 39 00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:19,056 New relationships are so hard! 40 00:01:19,081 --> 00:01:20,271 They take so much work. 41 00:01:20,307 --> 00:01:22,006 So much work. It's like... 42 00:01:22,042 --> 00:01:25,243 it's like making a risotto; a risotto in your heart. 43 00:01:25,278 --> 00:01:27,145 - Mm. - Oh. 44 00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:29,688 Aw. What's that for? 45 00:01:30,143 --> 00:01:31,432 Just 'cause. 46 00:01:31,565 --> 00:01:34,786 - Aw. - Mmm. How great is that? 47 00:01:34,821 --> 00:01:37,681 - So great. - So comfy, so warm. 48 00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:39,149 Like a port in the storm. 49 00:01:39,174 --> 00:01:41,009 I just want to skip all the first dates, 50 00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:41,926 and just get to this. 51 00:01:41,961 --> 00:01:43,485 - Mm-hmm. - You're gonna get there, okay? 52 00:01:43,510 --> 00:01:46,081 You just got to... got to keep yourself open. 53 00:01:46,385 --> 00:01:48,245 Wasn't Sadie gonna hook you up with, uh, that guy? 54 00:01:48,270 --> 00:01:52,003 Oh, yeah, Fred. He invited me to watch a movie... at his house. 55 00:01:52,038 --> 00:01:53,338 During the day. 56 00:01:53,373 --> 00:01:54,643 Doesn't that make it sound like 57 00:01:54,668 --> 00:01:56,441 he's a boy who's allergic to everything? 58 00:01:56,476 --> 00:01:57,842 You're looking for something wrong. 59 00:01:57,877 --> 00:01:59,644 - I got to say, she's right. - Mm-hmm. 60 00:01:59,679 --> 00:02:02,513 And besides, what if he's got a dope-ass home theatre? 61 00:02:03,940 --> 00:02:05,616 Damn! 62 00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:08,252 This is a dope-ass home theatre. 63 00:02:09,489 --> 00:02:11,651 I'm gonna hit the bathroom real quick. 64 00:02:11,676 --> 00:02:14,125 Okay. Well, hurry back before previews begin. 65 00:02:14,846 --> 00:02:17,299 That was a joke, 'cause I feel like I'm in a real theatre here. 66 00:02:17,324 --> 00:02:20,792 I mean, this is amazing. Thank you. Thank you for inviting me. 67 00:02:23,784 --> 00:02:26,112 - Oh, that was fast. - Hi. Didn't mean to startle. 68 00:02:26,137 --> 00:02:28,704 Just wanted to know if you wanted some snacks during the movie. 69 00:02:28,729 --> 00:02:30,698 I've just made a fresh pot of coffee. 70 00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:33,284 We're Flip and Nancy. 71 00:02:33,573 --> 00:02:35,012 - Fred's parents. - Mm. 72 00:02:35,048 --> 00:02:37,682 Oh. 73 00:02:37,717 --> 00:02:39,817 Fred lives with his parents. 74 00:02:40,581 --> 00:02:42,510 Now I see where he gets his looks. 75 00:02:42,690 --> 00:02:44,555 And his house. 76 00:02:48,361 --> 00:02:49,694 Guys, seriously. 77 00:02:49,729 --> 00:02:51,362 I'm not... I'm not hungry. 78 00:02:51,398 --> 00:02:53,416 You can't watch the movie on an empty stomach. 79 00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:56,290 Hey, cool your jets until you have some of our coffee. 80 00:02:56,315 --> 00:02:57,626 Beans are from Portland. 81 00:02:57,651 --> 00:02:59,670 Oh, that's funny. I'm from Portland. 82 00:02:59,706 --> 00:03:01,906 Do you know my last book signing was at Powell's Books? 83 00:03:01,941 --> 00:03:03,541 - Oh, no way. - You're-you're a writer? 84 00:03:03,576 --> 00:03:05,923 Well, I'm just a fool with a few stories. 85 00:03:05,948 --> 00:03:07,512 Oh, you're just being modest. 86 00:03:07,547 --> 00:03:09,814 - And you are being lovely. - Oh! 87 00:03:13,418 --> 00:03:15,602 You guys are so sweet together. 88 00:03:15,627 --> 00:03:17,622 That's because we're still on our honeymoon. 89 00:03:17,657 --> 00:03:19,587 35 wonderful years of marriage. 90 00:03:19,612 --> 00:03:20,792 - Feels like two to me. - Oh. 91 00:03:20,827 --> 00:03:22,960 - Feels like one. - Like we just met. 92 00:03:22,996 --> 00:03:24,629 Nick, what are we doing here? 93 00:03:24,664 --> 00:03:26,464 Yeah. 94 00:03:28,168 --> 00:03:29,634 Each-each of you know me. 95 00:03:29,669 --> 00:03:30,902 Yeah. 96 00:03:30,937 --> 00:03:32,026 If you don't, 97 00:03:32,051 --> 00:03:33,581 my name is Nicholas Miller. 98 00:03:33,773 --> 00:03:35,534 I'm an American from Chicago. 99 00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:36,808 I'm your new boss, 100 00:03:36,843 --> 00:03:38,213 so, you'll do what I say. 101 00:03:40,065 --> 00:03:41,782 When the cave people went to the cave bar, 102 00:03:41,807 --> 00:03:43,414 and they asked for a drink on the rocks, 103 00:03:43,450 --> 00:03:45,743 they actually meant it. 104 00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,985 Now that we're all laughing... 105 00:03:51,877 --> 00:03:53,546 It says, "Wait for laughs." 106 00:03:56,112 --> 00:03:57,228 I... 107 00:03:58,432 --> 00:03:59,620 Anybody have any questions? 108 00:03:59,791 --> 00:04:00,649 I have a question. 109 00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:01,845 Please. Anything. 110 00:04:01,870 --> 00:04:02,985 Your mother. 111 00:04:05,505 --> 00:04:07,338 Your mother. I love it. 112 00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:08,706 Thank you for breaking the ice. 113 00:04:08,741 --> 00:04:10,074 I know! 114 00:04:10,109 --> 00:04:12,454 I must look so stupid. 115 00:04:12,479 --> 00:04:14,923 "Hey, get over here. I got a meeting." 116 00:04:14,948 --> 00:04:17,034 What an idiot, huh? 117 00:04:18,065 --> 00:04:19,116 It was that bad, huh? 118 00:04:19,152 --> 00:04:20,518 No, Birdman was bad. 119 00:04:20,553 --> 00:04:22,620 This... this was a disaster. 120 00:04:22,655 --> 00:04:25,256 I'm here to help you, okay? Look, I have over nearly 121 00:04:25,291 --> 00:04:26,987 ten years of experience in the corporate world. 122 00:04:27,011 --> 00:04:28,160 What's "over nearly ten"? 123 00:04:28,161 --> 00:04:29,794 "Nearly ten" would be eight or nine years. 124 00:04:29,829 --> 00:04:32,112 I have... I have over nine years. 125 00:04:32,252 --> 00:04:33,431 That's different, yeah. 126 00:04:33,814 --> 00:04:35,681 Got you a tie. Corporate 101. 127 00:04:35,706 --> 00:04:37,535 Dress better than your employees. 128 00:04:37,570 --> 00:04:39,136 Reminds them that they're inferior. 129 00:04:39,172 --> 00:04:41,596 I'd wear a tie, but only on my butt, 130 00:04:41,634 --> 00:04:43,000 like it were a tail. 131 00:04:43,088 --> 00:04:45,009 A tail tie. 132 00:04:45,044 --> 00:04:47,311 Furguson, you have a knot! 133 00:04:47,815 --> 00:04:48,880 Is that salt water in here? 134 00:04:48,915 --> 00:04:50,815 You been hanging down at the wharf again? 135 00:04:51,268 --> 00:04:55,626 Guess what? I took a chance with that guy Fred, and I'm in love. 136 00:04:55,651 --> 00:04:58,634 - That's incredible. - With his parents, but I'm in love! 137 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:02,126 Furguson, clear my schedule. 138 00:05:02,161 --> 00:05:04,268 I need a word with your sister. 139 00:05:08,593 --> 00:05:11,223 When Nancy was in Zimbabwe building clean water systems, 140 00:05:11,248 --> 00:05:13,223 Flip dropped everything to go over there and be with her, 141 00:05:13,248 --> 00:05:15,825 - and they put Fred in Tribal School. - You seem like you're on cocaine. 142 00:05:15,850 --> 00:05:17,973 Yeah, right. Flip and Nancy and I hate drugs. 143 00:05:17,998 --> 00:05:20,568 Okay, yeah, great. What do you like about Fred? 144 00:05:20,593 --> 00:05:22,326 Well, I didn't really get any time with him, 145 00:05:22,361 --> 00:05:24,255 'cause Flip and Nancy wanted to watch the sunset. 146 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,080 Hey, do not talk to me like I'm some bastard 147 00:05:26,115 --> 00:05:27,880 who doesn't enjoy a good sunset. 148 00:05:27,905 --> 00:05:30,284 But if you really want to be in a relationship... 149 00:05:31,045 --> 00:05:33,919 Then I have to get to know Fred. Ha! You know what? 150 00:05:33,944 --> 00:05:36,423 Tomorrow, I'm gonna just crack him open like a cold beer. 151 00:05:36,459 --> 00:05:37,891 - You know what's a good date? - Hmm? 152 00:05:37,927 --> 00:05:39,673 Errands and a smoothie. 153 00:05:41,097 --> 00:05:42,997 Okay, everyone, listen up. 154 00:05:45,042 --> 00:05:46,433 Here are your new uniforms. 155 00:05:46,469 --> 00:05:48,235 Oh, you got to be kidding. 156 00:05:48,271 --> 00:05:50,608 - Aah. - Save your groans for Birdman! 157 00:05:51,062 --> 00:05:53,107 From now on, we will measure drinks. 158 00:05:53,142 --> 00:05:56,076 - Oh, man. - And we have a new one-napkin policy. 159 00:05:56,112 --> 00:05:58,764 - Just one napkin? - Questions at the end, please. 160 00:05:59,477 --> 00:06:02,676 Should somebody ask you for a second napkin, 161 00:06:02,701 --> 00:06:04,118 you just say, "Are you sure?" 162 00:06:04,153 --> 00:06:06,987 Nine times out of ten, they'll just back off and say "Thanks." 163 00:06:07,023 --> 00:06:08,956 Now please go try on your new polos. 164 00:06:11,858 --> 00:06:12,926 Can I have a word with you? 165 00:06:12,962 --> 00:06:14,361 Hey, Schmidt, everything you just said 166 00:06:14,397 --> 00:06:16,463 makes me want to give you a wedgie in front of the others. 167 00:06:16,499 --> 00:06:20,301 You need to rule with an iron fist. No mercy. 168 00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:23,186 You're not suggesting Cobra Kai rules? 169 00:06:23,741 --> 00:06:25,839 I'm not doing it! They're my friends! 170 00:06:25,875 --> 00:06:28,275 Your friends are gonna lose their jobs 171 00:06:28,311 --> 00:06:30,077 if this bar goes under. 172 00:06:33,420 --> 00:06:37,518 Ooh! I never thought I would say this, but, give me the tie. 173 00:06:39,030 --> 00:06:40,054 Now we're talking. 174 00:06:40,678 --> 00:06:43,524 - No mercy. - A corporate leader is born. 175 00:06:45,027 --> 00:06:47,027 Don't-don't put it around your head. 176 00:06:47,842 --> 00:06:50,164 - Well, hello to you. - Hi. - Hi! 177 00:06:50,199 --> 00:06:52,155 Fred'll be right down. You know, Nan and I are just 178 00:06:52,180 --> 00:06:54,535 packing up some books and paints for a park day! 179 00:06:54,570 --> 00:06:58,497 - A park day?! - Yes, it's from when we used to live in Paris. 180 00:06:58,522 --> 00:07:00,025 You should come! 181 00:07:00,050 --> 00:07:02,309 Well, look, um, I would love to, uh, 182 00:07:02,345 --> 00:07:04,578 but, um, I have to, uh, 183 00:07:04,613 --> 00:07:07,081 spend a little one-on-one time with, uh, this one. 184 00:07:07,116 --> 00:07:09,216 - When can chill with my parents. - Okay. 185 00:07:09,251 --> 00:07:10,584 - Yes! - Great! 186 00:07:10,619 --> 00:07:12,428 - Here's some paint. - Coffee? 187 00:07:13,189 --> 00:07:15,222 I feel like I'm a car rental agent. 188 00:07:15,257 --> 00:07:17,524 Yeah, well, you look like a prince. 189 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:20,287 Now, go. Go be a boss. 190 00:07:20,364 --> 00:07:21,396 Hey, Cece. 191 00:07:22,014 --> 00:07:24,598 Um, we measure our drinks now. 192 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:25,989 Am I right? 193 00:07:26,014 --> 00:07:28,369 So, uh, do as I say. 194 00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:31,004 Of course. Use the thing. 195 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:32,706 Sorry, but, just, you know, it's important. 196 00:07:32,742 --> 00:07:35,975 You know, with the... consist... 197 00:07:36,584 --> 00:07:38,712 Is this the exact thing that you wanted to have happen? 198 00:07:38,748 --> 00:07:41,582 I wouldn't want to get anything on my new uniform. 199 00:07:43,552 --> 00:07:45,052 That's, like, six shots. 200 00:07:45,087 --> 00:07:46,920 So you have to charge... 201 00:07:46,956 --> 00:07:50,583 That was some sass. You're at a real crossroads, 202 00:07:50,608 --> 00:07:52,341 so, you know, this is a big moment for you. 203 00:07:52,366 --> 00:07:54,962 There is no fear in this dojo! 204 00:07:55,956 --> 00:07:57,231 Hey, Javier? 205 00:07:57,608 --> 00:07:58,565 Where's-where's your shirt? 206 00:07:58,601 --> 00:08:00,450 Oh, it's so crazy, Nick. 207 00:08:00,475 --> 00:08:02,202 Someone broke into my house last night 208 00:08:02,238 --> 00:08:04,037 and stole that ugly shirt. 209 00:08:04,073 --> 00:08:05,339 Yeah... 210 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:09,309 I don't believe that. 211 00:08:09,345 --> 00:08:10,811 Oh, it's boxy on me, dude. 212 00:08:10,846 --> 00:08:12,856 As your boss... Javier, 213 00:08:12,881 --> 00:08:14,448 I need you to put your shirt on. 214 00:08:14,483 --> 00:08:17,419 I need you to put it on... your mother. 215 00:08:18,287 --> 00:08:19,553 Hey, no mother jokes. 216 00:08:19,588 --> 00:08:21,655 Javier, do not slide that right now, okay? 217 00:08:21,690 --> 00:08:23,257 I mean it. Do not... 218 00:08:25,035 --> 00:08:26,293 You're fired. 219 00:08:27,129 --> 00:08:29,129 - What? - Wha-What? 220 00:08:32,142 --> 00:08:33,575 You changed, man. 221 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:37,255 That is some Jeffrey Tambor stuff, dude. 222 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,272 Javier, wait. 223 00:08:38,307 --> 00:08:39,840 I-It's... Look, I wouldn't get... 224 00:08:39,875 --> 00:08:41,175 Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. 225 00:08:41,865 --> 00:08:44,178 You just fired Javier? 226 00:08:44,213 --> 00:08:45,679 You are out of control, Miller. 227 00:08:45,714 --> 00:08:46,914 I'm not gonna take it anymore, 228 00:08:46,949 --> 00:08:47,915 and you guys shouldn't, either. 229 00:08:47,950 --> 00:08:49,416 So let's show management 230 00:08:49,452 --> 00:08:52,880 exactly what we think of their policies. Let's walk! 231 00:08:52,905 --> 00:08:54,621 I'm sorry, bae, you're gonna have to keep it separate. 232 00:08:54,657 --> 00:08:55,849 Totally get it. Love you, bae. 233 00:08:55,874 --> 00:08:57,458 All right. Let's go. 234 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:02,155 That was bad. 235 00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:06,183 But can we just take a moment to appreciate Cece? 236 00:09:06,208 --> 00:09:08,335 I mean, the effect that she has on people... it's really incredible. 237 00:09:08,370 --> 00:09:10,604 I can't believe... she's marrying me. 238 00:09:10,639 --> 00:09:13,974 I mean... like, what? 239 00:09:14,009 --> 00:09:16,176 Oh, boy, Furguson, this knot is getting worse. 240 00:09:17,346 --> 00:09:18,879 We are in a hairy situation, my friend. 241 00:09:21,884 --> 00:09:23,383 I know! Really! 242 00:09:23,419 --> 00:09:24,618 Oh, it's just, it's just you! 243 00:09:26,221 --> 00:09:27,488 Hey, Winston. 244 00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:28,989 - This is Nancy and Flip and, um... - Hi! 245 00:09:29,016 --> 00:09:31,704 ...and, uh, we just went to the park, and we had 246 00:09:31,729 --> 00:09:33,460 - a great park day, and we're gonna have... - Nice to see you. 247 00:09:33,496 --> 00:09:34,962 ...some, uh, wine before dinner. 248 00:09:34,997 --> 00:09:36,840 - Oh. - And it's gonna be awesome. 249 00:09:36,865 --> 00:09:38,499 - Oh, you should join us. - Yeah, come on! 250 00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:39,967 - You should join us. - A little sip. 251 00:09:40,002 --> 00:09:41,335 - You should. - Oh, yeah, for sure. 252 00:09:41,370 --> 00:09:42,402 - Definitely join us. - Join us. 253 00:09:42,438 --> 00:09:44,404 Jess, a moment? 254 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:45,706 Jess, what the hell are you doing? 255 00:09:45,741 --> 00:09:47,541 They're just the most amazing people I've ever met. 256 00:09:47,576 --> 00:09:49,661 What happened to the one-on-one with Fred? 257 00:09:49,686 --> 00:09:51,645 He's just so quiet... I can't get a read on him. 258 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:54,286 Jess... if you want a comfy, old relationship, 259 00:09:54,311 --> 00:09:55,833 you got to start somewhere. 260 00:09:55,858 --> 00:09:57,598 All right? Go spend five minutes alone 261 00:09:57,623 --> 00:09:59,233 with him, now. 262 00:09:59,608 --> 00:10:01,208 Go get some cheese for the wine. 263 00:10:01,233 --> 00:10:02,222 Chevre is always nice. 264 00:10:02,258 --> 00:10:05,028 But I wouldn't dare tell you how to buy cheese. 265 00:10:05,053 --> 00:10:07,160 You're being so assertive right now... it's almost attractive. 266 00:10:07,196 --> 00:10:09,863 Hey, not now. Not the time. 267 00:10:15,272 --> 00:10:16,503 You know... 268 00:10:16,539 --> 00:10:19,386 I can be shy sometimes, too. 269 00:10:20,376 --> 00:10:22,209 You don't have to be shy. 270 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,851 Seriously, I-I-I'd really like to get to know you. 271 00:10:28,551 --> 00:10:29,940 Really? 272 00:10:31,053 --> 00:10:33,287 Here's something that I learned from our relationship. 273 00:10:33,526 --> 00:10:35,055 When you feel 274 00:10:35,090 --> 00:10:36,423 a knot... 275 00:10:37,347 --> 00:10:38,627 you take a deep breath 276 00:10:38,652 --> 00:10:41,356 and you stare at it and face it 277 00:10:41,381 --> 00:10:44,143 without fear or judgment. 278 00:10:44,168 --> 00:10:48,098 I don't think that it's Furgy's knot that's bothering you. 279 00:10:48,123 --> 00:10:50,291 - Ooh. - I think that the knot that's bothering you 280 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,405 is right there. 281 00:10:53,630 --> 00:10:55,409 Uh, wow, I, um... 282 00:10:56,210 --> 00:10:57,811 I don't know where I stand with my girl, 283 00:10:57,846 --> 00:11:00,581 and I can't talk to her, because I am ashamed. 284 00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:01,815 - Aw... - Did he just say "ashamed"? 285 00:11:01,850 --> 00:11:03,821 - Yeah, that's what I said. - Ashamed... 286 00:11:03,846 --> 00:11:06,036 of being beautiful? Of being a man? 287 00:11:06,061 --> 00:11:07,536 Of being passionate? 288 00:11:07,561 --> 00:11:09,957 Hah! Then I'm ashamed, too. 289 00:11:10,343 --> 00:11:11,742 I say to you... 290 00:11:12,030 --> 00:11:12,903 let her in. 291 00:11:12,928 --> 00:11:13,627 Yes. 292 00:11:13,662 --> 00:11:15,062 All together now. 293 00:11:15,097 --> 00:11:17,898 - On the count of three? Oh. - Let her in. 294 00:11:17,933 --> 00:11:19,067 - No counting. - Let her in. 295 00:11:19,092 --> 00:11:19,997 Okay, just go. 296 00:11:20,022 --> 00:11:21,168 What a wonderful cheese store. 297 00:11:21,203 --> 00:11:22,669 They had so many options. 298 00:11:22,705 --> 00:11:24,338 That's good, 'cause I love cheese. 299 00:11:24,373 --> 00:11:26,974 All kinds of cheese. Orange cheese, 300 00:11:27,009 --> 00:11:31,058 pizza cheese... I love all parts of pizzas, especially the dough. 301 00:11:31,083 --> 00:11:33,646 Once I asked for a ball of dough, and they gave it to me 302 00:11:33,671 --> 00:11:35,515 and I took it to a park and ate it. 303 00:11:35,551 --> 00:11:36,984 I'm so glad you opened up. 304 00:11:37,019 --> 00:11:39,286 But then I realized I needed some sauce... 305 00:11:42,186 --> 00:11:43,323 People always make fun of my eyes, 306 00:11:43,359 --> 00:11:45,325 - but I guess they're... - Oh-ho! Good! 307 00:11:45,361 --> 00:11:47,178 Winston, can I have a moment? 308 00:11:47,514 --> 00:11:48,495 Uh, yeah. 309 00:11:50,545 --> 00:11:52,752 - I love Flip and Nan. - I hate Fred. 310 00:11:52,777 --> 00:11:54,813 - No! - I know! 311 00:11:56,373 --> 00:11:59,043 So Fred's not shy, he just sucks. 312 00:11:59,068 --> 00:12:01,152 When I asked him what his favorite hobby was, 313 00:12:01,177 --> 00:12:02,803 he said, "Towels." 314 00:12:03,076 --> 00:12:05,795 I've got to break up with that human pile of saltine dust. 315 00:12:05,820 --> 00:12:07,542 I love Flip! I mean, Flip taught me 316 00:12:07,578 --> 00:12:09,580 how to be vulnerable with KC, you know? 317 00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:10,840 - Yeah. - Nancy ear-candled me. 318 00:12:10,865 --> 00:12:12,138 I can hear for miles. 319 00:12:12,163 --> 00:12:14,049 Their relationship's just such an inspiration, 320 00:12:14,084 --> 00:12:16,318 and I want to be around it, but what can we do? 321 00:12:16,353 --> 00:12:17,953 We ditch Fred. Forget about that dude. 322 00:12:17,988 --> 00:12:19,454 We establish our own relationships 323 00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:20,922 with Flip and Nancy. 324 00:12:20,958 --> 00:12:23,458 Boom! Make future plans with just them. 325 00:12:23,927 --> 00:12:24,926 "Future plans" is redundant, 326 00:12:24,962 --> 00:12:27,062 - but other than that, I am on board! - Okay. 327 00:12:27,097 --> 00:12:29,431 Now, I'm gonna need some alone time with Flip and Nancy. 328 00:12:29,466 --> 00:12:30,632 Can you stall Fred? 329 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:31,767 Can I stall Fred? 330 00:12:31,802 --> 00:12:33,602 Of course I can stall Fred. 331 00:12:33,637 --> 00:12:36,038 I would do anything. I love Flip and Nancy. 332 00:12:36,073 --> 00:12:38,040 Me, too! Are we totally crazy? 333 00:12:38,075 --> 00:12:39,232 Maybe! I don't even care! 334 00:12:39,257 --> 00:12:40,699 - I don't even care, either. - Hm! 335 00:12:41,588 --> 00:12:44,589 That's a vodka soda, I think. Uh, it's close enough. 336 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,900 I hear you! I'm getting to you! Stop yelling at me! 337 00:12:46,935 --> 00:12:48,869 - Shut up! - I don't understand what Cece's doing here. 338 00:12:48,903 --> 00:12:50,636 She led the walk-out. If she's gonna be here, 339 00:12:50,671 --> 00:12:51,837 can she at least help us? 340 00:12:51,873 --> 00:12:53,372 I am not gonna scab. 341 00:12:53,407 --> 00:12:54,707 Sorry, bae, I cannot scab, 342 00:12:54,742 --> 00:12:56,709 but I'm here for you as your fiancé. 343 00:12:56,744 --> 00:12:58,911 You are my rock right now. Do you need anything? 344 00:12:58,946 --> 00:13:00,412 No, I'm good, babe. Okay, just let me know 345 00:13:00,448 --> 00:13:02,047 if you do. We are screwed! 346 00:13:02,083 --> 00:13:04,516 Hey! Shut up! I'm trying my hardest! 347 00:13:04,552 --> 00:13:05,985 I shouldn't have fired Javier. 348 00:13:06,020 --> 00:13:07,686 I got to apologize. This is all my fault. 349 00:13:07,722 --> 00:13:09,722 Obviously, this is your fault... everybody knows that... 350 00:13:09,757 --> 00:13:12,191 but a boss never apologizes; it shows weakness. 351 00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:13,726 I feel like if Javier came back, 352 00:13:13,761 --> 00:13:15,494 the rest of the staff would come back. 353 00:13:15,529 --> 00:13:17,396 - That's a great idea. - I just said that. 354 00:13:17,431 --> 00:13:18,898 Such a great idea. 355 00:13:19,735 --> 00:13:21,800 Well, then give me one, because I said it first. 356 00:13:21,836 --> 00:13:23,769 If you're giving it for that idea, 357 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:26,105 if it's about that idea, then I deserve one. 358 00:13:26,140 --> 00:13:27,806 But I don't want one. 359 00:13:27,842 --> 00:13:28,874 And I felt left out. 360 00:13:29,911 --> 00:13:31,644 Shut up! 361 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:33,712 Well, I wonder what's taking them. 362 00:13:33,748 --> 00:13:36,348 Probably just the traff. You know, the old 'ic. 363 00:13:37,718 --> 00:13:39,418 "The old 'ic." 364 00:13:39,453 --> 00:13:40,953 Anyway, I was thinking, um, is there 365 00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,922 anything you guys like to do that Fred doesn't like to do? 366 00:13:42,957 --> 00:13:46,358 'Cause, like, I kind of just want to hang out with you guys and not Fred. 367 00:13:49,210 --> 00:13:50,062 Hm. 368 00:13:50,097 --> 00:13:52,498 Thank you for doing this, by the way. This is great. 369 00:13:52,533 --> 00:13:55,100 Slow night. Just been... driving around, 370 00:13:55,136 --> 00:13:56,969 mouthing along to hip-hop songs. 371 00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:59,918 Miss Officer, can we go? I'm very hungry, 372 00:13:59,943 --> 00:14:01,301 and my possible girlfriend and parents 373 00:14:01,326 --> 00:14:03,008 are waiting for us to order, and it feels like 374 00:14:03,044 --> 00:14:04,343 you've done over a million tests. 375 00:14:04,378 --> 00:14:06,145 That's what I been saying! 376 00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:07,579 Where is the justice? 377 00:14:07,615 --> 00:14:09,515 You can go when I tell you to go. 378 00:14:09,550 --> 00:14:11,650 Now, for your next test... 379 00:14:11,686 --> 00:14:14,086 I want you to pretend you're about to break-dance, 380 00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:16,355 but do not actually break-dance. 381 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:19,525 I didn't mean... 382 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,126 Buddy, I'm talk... 383 00:14:21,162 --> 00:14:23,629 - Why would he take that upon him... - Don't ask. 384 00:14:23,664 --> 00:14:25,164 I mean, whatever. 385 00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,436 Man, he's dumb! 386 00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,705 Give us more hands. 387 00:14:34,342 --> 00:14:35,774 Do it more animated. 388 00:14:36,747 --> 00:14:38,177 But less alive. 389 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,279 That's pretty good. 390 00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:41,680 Keep all of that but pretend 391 00:14:41,716 --> 00:14:43,270 you're underwater. 392 00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:47,644 Deeper. Deeper. 393 00:14:49,023 --> 00:14:52,066 - Okay, Jess, uh, what's going on here? - Spill it. 394 00:14:52,810 --> 00:14:54,543 Well... 395 00:14:54,568 --> 00:14:56,562 it's just you guys are so amazing. 396 00:14:56,597 --> 00:14:58,197 And it's really rough out there, 397 00:14:58,232 --> 00:14:59,965 and it's nice to be around something so great. 398 00:15:00,001 --> 00:15:03,473 And I-I'm not really a love match with your son, 399 00:15:03,498 --> 00:15:08,707 but I think I might be in love with you guys. 400 00:15:08,743 --> 00:15:12,578 Jess, we-we are glad that you think that 401 00:15:12,613 --> 00:15:14,713 - we're amazing. And we think - Yes, we are. 402 00:15:14,749 --> 00:15:17,716 - That you're amazing. - Yes, we do. 403 00:15:18,607 --> 00:15:23,193 And, um... we know that Fred isn't the best. 404 00:15:24,222 --> 00:15:25,699 We live with him. 405 00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:28,084 You know, he can be so boring. 406 00:15:28,269 --> 00:15:30,729 I-It's like the apple fell so far from the tree 407 00:15:30,765 --> 00:15:34,099 - Oh, God... - it fell in a truck and then disappeared across state lines. 408 00:15:34,135 --> 00:15:36,502 You guys are very honest. 409 00:15:36,537 --> 00:15:40,129 Did Fred ever tell you that he loves model trains? 410 00:15:40,154 --> 00:15:42,775 Oh, those model trains. 411 00:15:42,810 --> 00:15:44,043 But he's your son. 412 00:15:44,078 --> 00:15:45,944 - And we love him. - Deeply. 413 00:15:46,295 --> 00:15:50,783 And that's why we want to make a deal with you. 414 00:15:50,818 --> 00:15:54,386 You and Fred equals you and us. 415 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:02,304 Wow. Lo-Lovely home. 416 00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:03,446 Look, Javier, 417 00:16:03,641 --> 00:16:06,007 we've-we've come to give you an incredible opportunity: 418 00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:08,761 for you to apologize and get your job back. 419 00:16:08,786 --> 00:16:10,905 So, what do you say? 420 00:16:11,915 --> 00:16:13,508 Okay, uh, well, Javier, 421 00:16:13,533 --> 00:16:15,499 let me tell you something. Uh, I've been 422 00:16:15,535 --> 00:16:17,321 in the business world for just shy of half of two decades, 423 00:16:17,346 --> 00:16:19,016 and I can tell you that an opportunity like this 424 00:16:19,041 --> 00:16:21,250 does not come along often. So... 425 00:16:22,595 --> 00:16:23,795 Your boss is extending his hand. 426 00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:25,730 Schmidt, stop. Look, Javier, 427 00:16:25,765 --> 00:16:27,298 I'm sorry. I messed up. 428 00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:28,299 - Nick, don't apologize. - I've never been 429 00:16:28,334 --> 00:16:29,634 a boss before, 430 00:16:29,669 --> 00:16:31,298 and it's weird, man. 431 00:16:31,595 --> 00:16:33,404 You're my friend, Javier. 432 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,273 Remember when your cousin was in town 433 00:16:35,308 --> 00:16:37,275 and-and my cousin was in town and we kissed 434 00:16:37,310 --> 00:16:39,257 each other's cousins and... 435 00:16:39,282 --> 00:16:41,045 then we peed on the ice maker? 436 00:16:41,081 --> 00:16:42,747 Yes. I remember that fondly. 437 00:16:42,782 --> 00:16:44,082 So rough. 438 00:16:44,117 --> 00:16:46,718 Look, we both chose the bar over other stuff. 439 00:16:46,753 --> 00:16:50,154 I-I could've been a lawyer, and-and you were a dentist. 440 00:16:50,190 --> 00:16:51,422 Were you, really? You were gonna be a dentist? 441 00:16:51,458 --> 00:16:52,890 - Endodontist. - Look, 442 00:16:52,926 --> 00:16:54,492 it's my job to keep the bar open, 443 00:16:54,527 --> 00:16:57,495 but I still want it to be a great place to work. 444 00:16:57,923 --> 00:17:00,921 If you come back, that'll be my top priority. 445 00:17:00,946 --> 00:17:01,666 That and getting 446 00:17:01,701 --> 00:17:03,167 your old skanky cousin back in town, 447 00:17:03,203 --> 00:17:05,169 so I could make out with her. 448 00:17:05,517 --> 00:17:08,084 And my skanky cousin back in town 449 00:17:08,181 --> 00:17:10,108 so you could make out with her. 450 00:17:10,143 --> 00:17:11,342 So what do you say? 451 00:17:12,433 --> 00:17:13,529 I say... 452 00:17:16,016 --> 00:17:17,415 your mother. 453 00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:19,450 - Your mother. - Your mother. 454 00:17:19,486 --> 00:17:20,618 - Your mother! - Your mother! 455 00:17:20,653 --> 00:17:22,453 No, your mother! 456 00:17:22,489 --> 00:17:24,155 - Ah, you son of a bitch. - I love you, man. Oh. 457 00:17:24,190 --> 00:17:25,623 You're the best. Yeah, 458 00:17:25,658 --> 00:17:27,258 you guys! Let's do it! My h... 459 00:17:27,293 --> 00:17:30,128 Next hand in, right? N... 460 00:17:30,163 --> 00:17:32,163 Okay, so you're saying that if I date Fred 461 00:17:32,188 --> 00:17:34,198 that we can all keep hanging out together. 462 00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:39,203 Yes. We don't want you to lose us or for us to lose you. 463 00:17:39,239 --> 00:17:43,140 You're the child that we always wanted to have. 464 00:17:43,165 --> 00:17:45,676 Imagine us as grandparents. 465 00:17:45,712 --> 00:17:47,044 You think I haven't already? 466 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,984 You'll learn to love Fred. 467 00:17:49,009 --> 00:17:50,114 And even better, 468 00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:52,718 you'll never have to go on a first date again. 469 00:17:52,743 --> 00:17:54,515 Yeah. That sounds really good. 470 00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:56,220 There's no rush. I mean, why don't 471 00:17:56,256 --> 00:17:59,281 we go up to the Vermont house in the next few weeks 472 00:17:59,306 --> 00:18:01,359 and all be together? 473 00:18:01,384 --> 00:18:02,695 - Vermont house? - Oh, yeah. 474 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:03,728 It's an 18th century farmhouse 475 00:18:03,763 --> 00:18:05,196 that we kind of refurbished. 476 00:18:05,231 --> 00:18:06,731 - Gah. Oh. - We send 477 00:18:06,766 --> 00:18:09,867 romantic notes on the clothesline. 478 00:18:09,903 --> 00:18:10,837 Oh, my geez. 479 00:18:10,862 --> 00:18:14,030 And a loom in the barn. 480 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:15,673 Poof. 481 00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:17,708 - Hey, there! - Hi! 482 00:18:17,744 --> 00:18:20,812 Right over here, buddy. 483 00:18:20,847 --> 00:18:22,680 I am terribly sorry, you guys. 484 00:18:22,715 --> 00:18:24,682 - We got held up by an overzealous cop. - You know, 485 00:18:24,717 --> 00:18:26,684 Fred, uh, Jess was just saying 486 00:18:26,719 --> 00:18:29,687 how much she likes model trains, right, Jess? 487 00:18:29,712 --> 00:18:30,988 I didn't know you were 488 00:18:31,024 --> 00:18:33,758 a railie. That's so great. 489 00:18:33,793 --> 00:18:36,027 What's your gauge? Are you a G gauge? Uh, 490 00:18:36,062 --> 00:18:39,363 G scale, Gauge one? HO scale? TT scale? 491 00:18:39,399 --> 00:18:41,499 Probably not a tabletop girl, right? 492 00:18:41,534 --> 00:18:44,402 Do you do it costumed? Or do you just do it leisurely? 493 00:18:44,437 --> 00:18:46,170 I deal mostly with the, uh, 494 00:18:46,206 --> 00:18:48,606 transitional era, post-Industrial Revolution. 495 00:18:48,641 --> 00:18:50,741 I collect a lot of open-air 496 00:18:50,777 --> 00:18:52,624 coal engines. I'm the president 497 00:18:52,649 --> 00:18:54,846 of my module group, actually. 498 00:18:54,881 --> 00:18:56,948 We use horn hook couplers, so I'm kind of one 499 00:18:56,983 --> 00:18:59,350 of the best at scenery building. Uh, 500 00:18:59,385 --> 00:19:02,720 just finished this beautiful sanitation depot, 501 00:19:02,755 --> 00:19:04,288 made completely out of balsa. 502 00:19:04,324 --> 00:19:06,891 I also was the first to implement 503 00:19:06,926 --> 00:19:10,632 wire-framed humans so that the people are poseable. 504 00:19:10,657 --> 00:19:11,863 Station agent 505 00:19:11,898 --> 00:19:13,865 is now... Now he can bend his arm 506 00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:16,634 to say hello as the train passes. 507 00:19:16,669 --> 00:19:19,237 There's one little girl I use... I call her Sally. 508 00:19:19,272 --> 00:19:22,234 I'm also quite good at flocking snow, 509 00:19:22,259 --> 00:19:24,542 so I'm very popular around the holidays. 510 00:19:24,577 --> 00:19:27,812 Aah! Stop! Please stop. I just, uh... I ca... I can't do this. 511 00:19:27,847 --> 00:19:29,814 I can't believe I was even considering doing this. 512 00:19:29,849 --> 00:19:31,582 I can't just settle down to settle down. 513 00:19:31,618 --> 00:19:34,710 I really, really want you to consider what you're giving up. 514 00:19:34,735 --> 00:19:38,055 Yeah, Terry Gross owns the house next to us in Vermont. 515 00:19:38,091 --> 00:19:40,258 Oh, my God. Do you run into her at syrup festivals? 516 00:19:40,293 --> 00:19:41,792 We had a horse. 517 00:19:41,828 --> 00:19:43,327 Until it ran away. 518 00:19:43,712 --> 00:19:44,906 Its name was Daniel. 519 00:19:44,931 --> 00:19:46,397 Daniel Boulevard. 520 00:19:46,432 --> 00:19:48,132 I got to pick the last name, 521 00:19:48,167 --> 00:19:49,967 and I named him while we were in the car. 522 00:19:50,003 --> 00:19:50,968 I have to go! 523 00:19:51,004 --> 00:19:52,270 - Let's go. - Hey, listen, 524 00:19:52,305 --> 00:19:53,671 Jess and I really aren't that close. 525 00:19:53,706 --> 00:19:55,500 - I'm all about horses. - We're going! 526 00:19:56,915 --> 00:19:58,476 You know what, Nick, you were right. 527 00:19:58,501 --> 00:19:59,944 A bar isn't just a place of business. 528 00:19:59,979 --> 00:20:02,079 - It's a place for people. - Mm. 529 00:20:02,115 --> 00:20:03,648 Which is something I truly hate about it. 530 00:20:04,407 --> 00:20:05,650 A bunch of bottom-feeders here. 531 00:20:05,685 --> 00:20:08,252 Chum at the bottom of the ocean. Yuck. 532 00:20:08,845 --> 00:20:10,796 I know. And that's why, as a manager, 533 00:20:10,821 --> 00:20:12,189 I'm thinking I have to fire you. 534 00:20:12,225 --> 00:20:15,320 Maybe you should fire me. What do you think? 535 00:20:15,345 --> 00:20:17,593 You save enough money, buy me out one day, 536 00:20:17,618 --> 00:20:19,528 you run this place on your own. 537 00:20:19,866 --> 00:20:22,700 - You really think I could? - Yeah, definitely. 538 00:20:22,735 --> 00:20:25,136 - I mean, your dumb bitch of a mother sure could. - What? 539 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,359 Your-your mother, who, uh, 540 00:20:28,384 --> 00:20:31,195 we're referring to in this circumstance as a dumb bitch. 541 00:20:31,220 --> 00:20:32,643 - I think she could probably... - Wait, what? 542 00:20:32,679 --> 00:20:34,111 Come on. That's what you and Javier do, right? 543 00:20:34,147 --> 00:20:36,015 C... Your... Uh, your mother, 544 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:37,448 who, uh, you know, is a dumb... is a dumb... 545 00:20:37,483 --> 00:20:39,283 Is that not... is that not how the joke goes? 546 00:20:39,319 --> 00:20:40,117 I know. 547 00:20:40,153 --> 00:20:41,452 - Thanks, man. - Thank you. 548 00:20:41,487 --> 00:20:42,787 Um, can I have another napkin? 549 00:20:42,822 --> 00:20:45,289 - Are you sure? - Uh, yeah, I don't need one. 550 00:20:46,423 --> 00:20:47,210 You know what, 551 00:20:47,235 --> 00:20:49,460 I know they turned out super weird and kind of like 552 00:20:49,495 --> 00:20:52,363 rich pimps, but... I just kind of miss 'em, you know? 553 00:20:52,398 --> 00:20:55,166 I'm glad they were weird. Kind of snapped me out of it. 554 00:20:55,201 --> 00:20:56,467 I was about one park day away 555 00:20:56,502 --> 00:20:59,470 from a Vermont model train-themed wedding. 556 00:20:59,505 --> 00:21:01,472 Yo, Nick, you like my shirt? 557 00:21:01,507 --> 00:21:02,907 It look like I'm naked. 558 00:21:02,942 --> 00:21:04,041 Very cool, man. 559 00:21:04,077 --> 00:21:05,579 - Right. - Come here, man. 560 00:21:05,604 --> 00:21:08,046 Hey! Get out of here. I'll catch up later. Boss man's got 561 00:21:08,071 --> 00:21:09,673 - to go over the books. - Okay. 562 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,102 Good to have you back, man. 563 00:21:14,887 --> 00:21:16,156 Oh, this is very terrible. 564 00:21:19,092 --> 00:21:20,458 I don't believe you. 565 00:21:23,977 --> 00:21:25,663 Can you put, like, a jazz spin on that? 566 00:21:29,391 --> 00:21:31,095 Look like an acorn. 567 00:21:31,297 --> 00:21:32,391 Start spinning. 568 00:21:33,688 --> 00:21:34,899 That's actually pretty good. 569 00:21:34,924 --> 00:21:36,924 I just feel really bad for Flip and Nancy. 570 00:21:36,948 --> 00:21:39,102 Shut up about Flip and Nancy.