1 00:00:00,908 --> 00:00:03,489 A record heat wave is melting Los Angeles, 2 00:00:03,556 --> 00:00:06,642 sparking chaos in stores across the Southland. 3 00:00:06,728 --> 00:00:07,736 Riot police have been summoned to several locations... 4 00:00:07,761 --> 00:00:08,613 Oh, damn. 5 00:00:08,657 --> 00:00:10,012 This heat is untenable. 6 00:00:10,079 --> 00:00:11,698 It's like a Jewfro apocalypse in here. 7 00:00:11,766 --> 00:00:14,034 I look like a '70s divorce attorney. 8 00:00:14,102 --> 00:00:16,303 So we don't have A/C. 9 00:00:18,173 --> 00:00:19,740 You guys are going to love this. 10 00:00:19,808 --> 00:00:22,009 I invented something even better. 11 00:00:22,076 --> 00:00:24,411 It's called the Ranch System. 12 00:00:24,479 --> 00:00:26,079 The Ranch System for Cooling. 13 00:00:26,147 --> 00:00:27,881 This is one of my best inventions. 14 00:00:27,949 --> 00:00:29,516 Reagan's going to freak out when she sees it. 15 00:00:29,584 --> 00:00:32,386 Check it out. We've got a combination of cool winds, 16 00:00:32,453 --> 00:00:34,388 a-a cool, chilly pond, 17 00:00:34,455 --> 00:00:35,756 you wear white jeans 'cause they don't absorb heat... 18 00:00:35,824 --> 00:00:38,058 that's actually science, I did research. 19 00:00:38,126 --> 00:00:39,463 You know, science aside, man, you working 20 00:00:39,488 --> 00:00:40,952 those jeans. Oh, thanks for saying that, man. 21 00:00:40,995 --> 00:00:42,062 I was insecure about the way they looked. 22 00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:43,063 You killing it, man. 23 00:00:43,131 --> 00:00:44,531 Hey, guys. How are you doing? 24 00:00:44,599 --> 00:00:46,533 Well, everything here looks normal. 25 00:00:46,601 --> 00:00:48,035 Welcome to The Ranch. 26 00:00:48,102 --> 00:00:49,036 I don't know what that means. 27 00:00:49,103 --> 00:00:50,270 Have a seat. 28 00:00:50,338 --> 00:00:51,572 Why would I do that? 29 00:00:51,639 --> 00:00:52,739 It'll cool you right off. You'll love it. 30 00:00:52,807 --> 00:00:55,242 Ooh. Is that chair supposed to be wet? 31 00:00:55,310 --> 00:00:56,476 It is. - I... 32 00:00:56,544 --> 00:00:57,778 Okay. 33 00:00:59,180 --> 00:01:02,382 And away we... cool! 34 00:01:02,450 --> 00:01:04,218 Check it out! 35 00:01:04,285 --> 00:01:05,419 Feels like somebody is learning 36 00:01:05,486 --> 00:01:06,854 to whistle very close to my face. 37 00:01:06,921 --> 00:01:07,855 That's right, it does. 38 00:01:07,922 --> 00:01:09,089 She said it feels like 39 00:01:09,157 --> 00:01:10,424 someone's whistling close to her face! 40 00:01:10,491 --> 00:01:11,725 I never thought of that. 41 00:01:11,793 --> 00:01:12,893 It's another plus. 42 00:01:12,961 --> 00:01:14,027 No. 43 00:01:14,095 --> 00:01:15,262 No, it's not. 44 00:01:15,330 --> 00:01:16,530 But I have a better idea. 45 00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:19,433 Why don't we all cool off... 46 00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:21,068 with the brand-new air conditioner that I bought? 47 00:01:21,135 --> 00:01:22,024 - Son of a... - Yes! 48 00:01:22,049 --> 00:01:23,282 - What? - What? 49 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,927 - A/C! - Oh... 50 00:01:24,995 --> 00:01:27,463 - Damn. - Oh, it was so hot. 51 00:01:27,531 --> 00:01:29,698 - Oh, yeah, this is wet. - Having A/C. 52 00:01:29,766 --> 00:01:31,534 That's sweat from my bottom. 53 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,005 This is amazing. 54 00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,888 Thank you, Reagan. Finally, we can stop living 55 00:01:38,913 --> 00:01:40,272 like people in a beer commercial 56 00:01:40,321 --> 00:01:42,755 - before the beer shows up. - How did you pull this off? 57 00:01:42,823 --> 00:01:44,924 It's not a big deal. That whole riot thing's really overblown. 58 00:01:44,992 --> 00:01:47,593 Get the hell back! 59 00:01:47,661 --> 00:01:50,063 I will be putting the A/C in my room and everyone is welcome. 60 00:01:50,130 --> 00:01:51,264 No, thank you. We're good. 61 00:01:51,332 --> 00:01:52,532 I speak for all of us. 62 00:01:52,599 --> 00:01:53,591 Okay. 63 00:01:53,616 --> 00:01:55,101 Well, we are observing gym rules, 64 00:01:55,169 --> 00:01:56,202 so make sure you wipe down 65 00:01:56,270 --> 00:01:57,236 anything you plan to sit on. 66 00:01:59,139 --> 00:02:00,907 Whatever. 67 00:02:00,974 --> 00:02:02,342 More breeze for us. 68 00:02:02,409 --> 00:02:03,543 I'm gonna grab some old underpants 69 00:02:03,610 --> 00:02:05,078 and I'll put a pair 70 00:02:05,145 --> 00:02:06,579 in the freezer for each of you. 71 00:02:06,647 --> 00:02:08,014 Trust me, I'm wearing 72 00:02:08,082 --> 00:02:09,248 frozen underwear right now, 73 00:02:09,316 --> 00:02:11,084 and I feel amazing. 74 00:02:11,151 --> 00:02:13,720 So, I'm in good shape. 75 00:02:13,787 --> 00:02:14,522 - Cece? - Mmm. 76 00:02:14,590 --> 00:02:17,256 I think maybe you should go... go hang out by the A/C. 77 00:02:17,324 --> 00:02:19,692 Cece's got a big audition today to be a reporter. 78 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:21,761 She's been taking broadcasting classes. 79 00:02:21,829 --> 00:02:23,429 Any way you slice it, 80 00:02:23,497 --> 00:02:26,366 that cafeteria pizza is a great deal. 81 00:02:26,433 --> 00:02:27,600 You know, in fact, 82 00:02:27,668 --> 00:02:28,868 I'm getting a little hungry myself. 83 00:02:28,936 --> 00:02:30,103 How about you, Carl? 84 00:02:31,638 --> 00:02:33,139 I thought the next thing 85 00:02:33,207 --> 00:02:34,407 I was supposed to talk about 86 00:02:34,475 --> 00:02:36,242 was the rain. 87 00:02:36,310 --> 00:02:37,477 It is, Carl. 88 00:02:37,544 --> 00:02:39,381 I was just having a little banter. 89 00:02:39,449 --> 00:02:40,865 Oh. 90 00:02:40,933 --> 00:02:42,949 Um... 91 00:02:43,016 --> 00:02:45,318 I... uh, I had a sandwich 92 00:02:45,386 --> 00:02:47,253 so... I'm full. 93 00:02:47,321 --> 00:02:48,755 The audition's just for 94 00:02:48,822 --> 00:02:50,123 gas station TV, okay? 95 00:02:50,190 --> 00:02:51,491 Nobody watches it. 96 00:02:51,558 --> 00:02:52,792 Don't you dare downplay it. 97 00:02:52,860 --> 00:02:54,494 I adore gas station television, 98 00:02:54,561 --> 00:02:56,129 I mean, myself, personally. 99 00:02:56,196 --> 00:02:58,264 It is the intersection between information 100 00:02:58,332 --> 00:02:59,832 and also gas. 101 00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:01,401 That's right. Cece, today it's gas, 102 00:03:01,468 --> 00:03:02,735 tomorrow, it's local news... 103 00:03:02,803 --> 00:03:04,604 the next thing you know, you're reporting 104 00:03:04,671 --> 00:03:05,972 diabetes statistics 105 00:03:06,039 --> 00:03:07,407 as we all watch B-roll 106 00:03:07,474 --> 00:03:08,808 of fat people walking across the street. 107 00:03:08,876 --> 00:03:10,443 I just, I don't... 108 00:03:10,511 --> 00:03:11,978 I-I don't think I'm gonna go to the audition. 109 00:03:12,045 --> 00:03:13,146 'Cause it's... 110 00:03:13,213 --> 00:03:14,447 it's just so hot. 111 00:03:14,515 --> 00:03:16,649 You know? 112 00:03:17,718 --> 00:03:18,985 Okay. 113 00:03:19,052 --> 00:03:20,653 Um... 114 00:03:20,721 --> 00:03:22,121 Yeah, I mean, that's-that's cool. 115 00:03:22,189 --> 00:03:24,323 Just... Look, I love you no matter what. 116 00:03:24,391 --> 00:03:25,825 Go cool off. 117 00:03:25,893 --> 00:03:27,760 - All right. - All right. 118 00:03:27,828 --> 00:03:29,647 Can I talk to you for a second? 119 00:03:29,714 --> 00:03:31,964 What the hell was all that coddling? 120 00:03:32,032 --> 00:03:33,766 - Whoa. - What are you, a big-bosomed grandma? 121 00:03:33,834 --> 00:03:35,134 Tough love! Make her go! 122 00:03:35,202 --> 00:03:36,169 Don't tell me what to do! 123 00:03:36,236 --> 00:03:37,303 I'm her fiancé, 124 00:03:37,371 --> 00:03:38,504 not some schnook off the street 125 00:03:38,572 --> 00:03:39,972 eating a peanut butter cookie. 126 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,208 It's my job to give her love and support. 127 00:03:42,276 --> 00:03:44,377 That's how I get her to go to the audition. 128 00:03:44,445 --> 00:03:47,380 As a cop, do you think I would get anyone to do anything 129 00:03:47,448 --> 00:03:48,848 if I were being kind and supportive? 130 00:03:48,916 --> 00:03:49,728 Hell no! 131 00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:52,385 Look, I have recently found my cop voice 132 00:03:52,453 --> 00:03:54,720 it is very effective. 133 00:03:54,788 --> 00:03:56,556 Is that what you've been practicing in the bathroom? 134 00:03:56,623 --> 00:03:57,657 Everybody stop! 135 00:03:57,724 --> 00:03:59,559 Make a left turn! 136 00:03:59,626 --> 00:04:02,495 : You have the right to remain silent! You... 137 00:04:02,563 --> 00:04:03,996 Freeze! Nah. 138 00:04:04,064 --> 00:04:05,498 Three hundred 139 00:04:05,566 --> 00:04:08,334 and three thousand thelonious thistles... 140 00:04:11,405 --> 00:04:13,539 Freeze! Ooh, ooh. 141 00:04:13,607 --> 00:04:15,475 Down on the ground, 142 00:04:15,542 --> 00:04:17,677 fugitive of the law. 143 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:20,880 Those were just my warmups. 144 00:04:20,948 --> 00:04:22,038 My point is this, man. 145 00:04:22,140 --> 00:04:24,375 You can't hug and kiss Cece into doing anything. 146 00:04:24,443 --> 00:04:26,177 Your mind would melt if you knew 147 00:04:26,244 --> 00:04:27,745 what I've hugged and kissed Cece into doing. 148 00:04:27,813 --> 00:04:29,080 Stay out of it, Winston. 149 00:04:32,284 --> 00:04:34,552 My guys. 150 00:04:34,619 --> 00:04:36,087 Hey, who needs Reagan's A/C, right? 151 00:04:36,154 --> 00:04:37,922 Here. 152 00:04:37,989 --> 00:04:40,391 Put some of my old underwear on your face. It feels great. 153 00:04:40,459 --> 00:04:41,692 Oh, Nick... 154 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,094 you're gonna make a great dad. 155 00:04:43,161 --> 00:04:44,762 I'll see you later. 156 00:04:44,830 --> 00:04:45,758 Okay. 157 00:04:45,825 --> 00:04:47,465 Hey! Who needs him, huh? 158 00:04:47,532 --> 00:04:49,066 Yeah. We got each other. 159 00:04:49,134 --> 00:04:50,134 - Yeah. - We've been through worse. 160 00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:51,135 - Chicago! - Chicago! 161 00:04:51,864 --> 00:04:53,319 City of soup, you know? 162 00:04:53,387 --> 00:04:54,530 Yes, sir. 163 00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:56,107 So I'm gonna go take a shower. 164 00:04:56,174 --> 00:04:57,408 I'll be back in a hot minute. 165 00:04:57,476 --> 00:05:00,144 Or, as we say on a day like today... 166 00:05:02,147 --> 00:05:04,582 - ...a minute. - That's great, man. 167 00:05:04,649 --> 00:05:05,478 That's chill, that's chill. 168 00:05:05,503 --> 00:05:06,741 That's great. Thanks for taking my back today. 169 00:05:06,785 --> 00:05:08,185 - I'll see you in a sec. - All right, all right. 170 00:05:08,253 --> 00:05:10,054 - You and me, all day. You and me. - Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. 171 00:05:11,823 --> 00:05:14,091 Look who it is! What happened? 172 00:05:14,159 --> 00:05:16,927 The A/C fall over and squish Winston's cat? 173 00:05:16,995 --> 00:05:19,063 Oh, my God, please don't tell me that happened. I would die. 174 00:05:19,131 --> 00:05:20,564 I just came out here to tell you 175 00:05:20,632 --> 00:05:21,799 that it's actually really nice in there. 176 00:05:21,867 --> 00:05:22,967 It's really nice right here, 177 00:05:23,034 --> 00:05:24,301 with my underpants on my face. 178 00:05:24,369 --> 00:05:25,970 I think maybe you should stop pouting 179 00:05:26,037 --> 00:05:28,606 because I didn't like whatever this is. 180 00:05:28,673 --> 00:05:31,142 Wait, what? 181 00:05:31,209 --> 00:05:33,811 Why would I care if you, specifically, didn't like it? 182 00:05:33,879 --> 00:05:36,480 Nick. 183 00:05:36,548 --> 00:05:38,249 Reagan. 184 00:05:38,316 --> 00:05:39,950 Nick, come on. 185 00:05:40,018 --> 00:05:41,318 You want to go there? 186 00:05:41,386 --> 00:05:42,987 I want to go where? 187 00:05:45,056 --> 00:05:47,591 What are you talking about? 188 00:05:47,659 --> 00:05:49,160 You wanted to impress me 189 00:05:49,227 --> 00:05:50,995 because you have a crush on me. 190 00:05:54,366 --> 00:05:56,367 It's nice to get a good laugh in this heat. 191 00:05:58,103 --> 00:05:59,503 I need a laugh. 192 00:05:59,571 --> 00:06:01,138 It's too hot not to laugh. 193 00:06:01,206 --> 00:06:02,406 Lord knows it! 194 00:06:02,474 --> 00:06:04,308 You do. 195 00:06:04,376 --> 00:06:06,644 I don't have a crush on you. 196 00:06:06,711 --> 00:06:08,145 You're very conceited. 197 00:06:08,213 --> 00:06:10,080 And I don't mean to burst your bubble here, missy, 198 00:06:10,148 --> 00:06:13,083 but I am not out here 199 00:06:13,151 --> 00:06:16,320 because of my "so-called crush on you, 200 00:06:16,388 --> 00:06:17,755 "based on my actions 201 00:06:17,823 --> 00:06:19,657 that led you to believe I have a crush on you." 202 00:06:19,724 --> 00:06:20,825 I am out here 203 00:06:20,892 --> 00:06:22,493 because I have never been 204 00:06:22,561 --> 00:06:25,196 more comfortable in my entire life. 205 00:06:25,263 --> 00:06:27,164 Okay, you know what? Just go get! 206 00:06:27,232 --> 00:06:29,166 Winston and I don't need you, sister. 207 00:06:29,234 --> 00:06:30,634 Oh, you mean Winston, like, this Winston? 208 00:06:30,702 --> 00:06:33,204 What do you mean, like this... 209 00:06:35,373 --> 00:06:36,373 Oh, Winston. 210 00:06:36,441 --> 00:06:38,542 I'm really sorry. 211 00:06:38,610 --> 00:06:40,478 It's fine, it's fine. Who needs you? 212 00:06:40,545 --> 00:06:42,146 'Cause the hottest part of the day is already over. 213 00:06:42,214 --> 00:06:43,214 It's 9:30 in the morning. 214 00:06:43,281 --> 00:06:44,348 Then tell me this: 215 00:06:44,416 --> 00:06:45,716 why did I just eat lunch? 216 00:06:47,085 --> 00:06:49,266 Why did I just eat lunch? 217 00:06:51,263 --> 00:06:53,927 Another guy just collapsed out there. 218 00:06:54,466 --> 00:06:58,271 Oh, but a good Samaritan to the rescue. 219 00:06:58,638 --> 00:07:01,607 Oh, damn. Good Samaritan just collapsed. 220 00:07:01,674 --> 00:07:03,375 Oh! 221 00:07:03,443 --> 00:07:06,845 And UPS guy to the rescue! 222 00:07:06,913 --> 00:07:09,615 And the UPS guy just collapsed. 223 00:07:09,682 --> 00:07:13,685 Ah, lady stealing packages... 224 00:07:13,753 --> 00:07:15,787 Ah... 225 00:07:15,855 --> 00:07:18,290 Oh! And the lady just collapsed. 226 00:07:18,358 --> 00:07:20,959 Whoo. You know, I'm actually kind of getting chilly in here. 227 00:07:21,027 --> 00:07:22,461 Look, guys. 228 00:07:22,528 --> 00:07:24,196 I got this box of Jess's weird old ski clothes. 229 00:07:24,263 --> 00:07:25,797 - Oh! - Ooh... 230 00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:28,300 Hello, 1989. 231 00:07:28,368 --> 00:07:29,368 Check me out, 232 00:07:29,435 --> 00:07:30,435 I'm Picabo Street. 233 00:07:30,503 --> 00:07:31,770 You know who that is, right? 234 00:07:31,838 --> 00:07:32,720 I don't know who that is. 235 00:07:32,787 --> 00:07:34,325 Real après-ski vibe. 236 00:07:34,350 --> 00:07:35,672 I feel like I'm in Gstaad. 237 00:07:35,740 --> 00:07:37,063 Gstaad's all about après-ski. 238 00:07:37,131 --> 00:07:38,381 Well, it's nice in the summer, too. 239 00:07:38,506 --> 00:07:39,272 Oh, have you been? 240 00:07:39,340 --> 00:07:40,273 Have you? 241 00:07:40,341 --> 00:07:41,563 Have you? 242 00:07:41,631 --> 00:07:43,243 Have you been, is the real question. 243 00:07:43,311 --> 00:07:45,645 Have-have you been to Gstaad? 244 00:07:45,713 --> 00:07:46,913 Wh... I... - What does it matter? Just tell the truth. 245 00:07:46,981 --> 00:07:48,020 Have you been there? Have you been there? 246 00:07:48,045 --> 00:07:49,849 - I'm sorry, have you? - No, I haven't been there. 247 00:07:49,917 --> 00:07:51,584 - Well... - Should I be ashamed of that, 248 00:07:51,652 --> 00:07:53,019 or can we all just tell the truth 249 00:07:53,087 --> 00:07:54,854 about whether we've been to... "Shtaad." 250 00:07:54,922 --> 00:07:56,790 Please. It's "Gstaad." 251 00:07:56,857 --> 00:07:58,091 - Shaad. - Shtaad. 252 00:07:58,159 --> 00:07:59,659 No one in this room has been to Gstaad. 253 00:07:59,727 --> 00:08:01,428 Yeah, one more fan. 254 00:08:01,495 --> 00:08:02,862 Just a little closer. 255 00:08:02,930 --> 00:08:04,664 Okay, that'll do it. 256 00:08:04,732 --> 00:08:06,499 You guys are suckers in there! This is great! 257 00:08:06,567 --> 00:08:08,268 Should we be worried about him? 258 00:08:08,336 --> 00:08:10,270 Worried about Nick? Oh, no, this is just what he does. 259 00:08:10,338 --> 00:08:12,105 Okay, but being exposed to the heat for that long 260 00:08:12,173 --> 00:08:13,506 is actually super-dangerous, 261 00:08:13,574 --> 00:08:16,343 so... maybe I should go reason with him. 262 00:08:17,545 --> 00:08:19,446 "Reason." 263 00:08:19,513 --> 00:08:22,515 Please excuse our immediate but correct response. 264 00:08:25,486 --> 00:08:26,953 Oh, hey, hey. 265 00:08:27,021 --> 00:08:28,955 Please just come into my room? It's right there. 266 00:08:29,023 --> 00:08:30,590 It's not even hot in reality. 267 00:08:30,658 --> 00:08:32,459 You're obviously suffering from heat exhaustion. 268 00:08:32,526 --> 00:08:34,694 It's like a crisp Vermont November. 269 00:08:34,762 --> 00:08:36,930 Apple cider, football weather. 270 00:08:36,997 --> 00:08:38,565 Don't jump in a pile of leaves. 271 00:08:38,632 --> 00:08:40,500 There might be a dead dog in there. 272 00:08:40,568 --> 00:08:41,706 You're slurring your speech. 273 00:08:41,774 --> 00:08:43,803 Soon you're gonna get dizzy, you're gonna get cramps. 274 00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:45,542 Why do you care so much, Reagan? 275 00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:48,007 Because you look like a dying man on a hospital show. 276 00:08:48,075 --> 00:08:50,744 Oh, I know why. 277 00:08:51,912 --> 00:08:53,747 Because you have a crush on me. 278 00:08:53,814 --> 00:08:56,182 - No. - Yeah. 279 00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:57,584 That's... that... 280 00:08:57,651 --> 00:08:59,319 I... You're... you're a human being 281 00:08:59,387 --> 00:09:01,921 and I'm worried about... You have a crush on me. 282 00:09:01,989 --> 00:09:04,357 No. That's why you're always thinking about me... 283 00:09:04,425 --> 00:09:05,692 That has nothing to do with that. 284 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,093 ...giving me my medicals, 285 00:09:07,161 --> 00:09:09,262 checking on me, giving me my medicals... 286 00:09:09,330 --> 00:09:11,164 You said that twice. You are hallucinating. 287 00:09:11,232 --> 00:09:14,134 No, Reagan, I'm "ha-truth-inating." 288 00:09:14,201 --> 00:09:15,735 Okay, you know what, I'm gonna have to smoke you out. 289 00:09:15,803 --> 00:09:17,303 Ooh-hoo! Smoke me out? 290 00:09:23,811 --> 00:09:25,645 Turn 'em all on, great. 291 00:09:25,713 --> 00:09:27,914 I love it hot. 292 00:09:30,818 --> 00:09:32,018 Great, turn 'em up. 293 00:09:32,086 --> 00:09:34,020 I got the sticks if you got the melons. 294 00:09:34,088 --> 00:09:35,321 Marsh-melons. 295 00:09:35,389 --> 00:09:36,823 Marshmallows. 296 00:09:36,891 --> 00:09:38,024 Sorry. 297 00:09:42,263 --> 00:09:43,930 Hey, Deborah. 298 00:09:43,998 --> 00:09:46,566 - Hey, Cece, now that... now that we're... - What? 299 00:09:46,634 --> 00:09:48,568 Now that we're in the cool, have you rethought the audition? 300 00:09:48,636 --> 00:09:49,969 Maybe you'll go now? 301 00:09:50,037 --> 00:09:51,704 I mean, either way I love you, I just... 302 00:09:51,772 --> 00:09:53,540 - Um, no. - No, okay. 303 00:09:53,607 --> 00:09:54,974 - Mm-mm. - Okay, I still love you though. 304 00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:58,478 You leave me with no choice. 305 00:09:58,546 --> 00:09:59,546 What are you doing? 306 00:09:59,613 --> 00:10:01,147 Ma'am! I'm gonna ask that you please 307 00:10:01,215 --> 00:10:04,150 - remove your headphones now! - What? 308 00:10:04,218 --> 00:10:06,052 Do you know why I asked you to remove your headphones? 309 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:07,253 Why are you talking so loud? 310 00:10:07,321 --> 00:10:08,888 Do you have a cranberry stuck in your ear again? 311 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:10,757 - Winston found his cop voice. - Oh... 312 00:10:10,825 --> 00:10:13,426 Ma'am! Why are you avoiding an audition 313 00:10:13,494 --> 00:10:15,328 when you know damn well it's important to you? 314 00:10:15,396 --> 00:10:17,864 Don't do this. Get back in your vehicle, immediately! 315 00:10:17,932 --> 00:10:19,799 Ma'am, please answer the question. 316 00:10:19,867 --> 00:10:21,534 Why are you avoiding an audition? 317 00:10:21,602 --> 00:10:24,537 And do not say that you are not, because I know that you are, 318 00:10:24,605 --> 00:10:25,939 so tell me why! 319 00:10:27,399 --> 00:10:29,333 Why?! Why?! 320 00:10:30,235 --> 00:10:31,936 Why?! 321 00:10:32,005 --> 00:10:33,338 Now, damn it, speak! 322 00:10:33,406 --> 00:10:34,339 What if I'm not good enough? 323 00:10:34,407 --> 00:10:35,340 It's my dream job, 324 00:10:35,408 --> 00:10:36,441 and what if I can't do it, okay? 325 00:10:36,509 --> 00:10:38,343 What? 326 00:10:38,411 --> 00:10:39,945 Cece, you're the most talented... 327 00:10:40,013 --> 00:10:41,280 Sir, stand down! 328 00:10:41,347 --> 00:10:43,181 Winston, you stand down. 329 00:10:43,249 --> 00:10:45,017 Go play softball against the fire department 330 00:10:45,084 --> 00:10:47,619 - or whatever it is you do. - That's not till Wednesday. 331 00:10:47,687 --> 00:10:48,854 - Honey, I was terrified. - Don't worry... don't... 332 00:10:48,921 --> 00:10:50,188 My hands are shaking. Block that out. 333 00:10:50,256 --> 00:10:51,857 - I'm freaking out. Yeah. - Block that out. 334 00:10:51,924 --> 00:10:52,991 Okay, let's plan a trip. 335 00:10:53,059 --> 00:10:54,026 Something to look forward to. 336 00:10:54,093 --> 00:10:55,027 Yeah, that'd be great. 337 00:10:55,094 --> 00:10:56,028 Mother freckles. 338 00:10:56,095 --> 00:10:59,064 Winston's wild. 339 00:10:59,132 --> 00:11:00,299 God, that was so scary. 340 00:11:00,366 --> 00:11:02,968 It was so terrible. 341 00:11:03,036 --> 00:11:03,969 It's okay. 342 00:11:09,208 --> 00:11:10,942 Can you just admit that it's hot in here? 343 00:11:11,010 --> 00:11:13,645 There's no way that you are not hot. I'm hot. 344 00:11:13,713 --> 00:11:15,614 Why are you so worried about old Nicky pots and pans? 345 00:11:15,682 --> 00:11:17,115 I don't have a crush on you. 346 00:11:17,183 --> 00:11:18,483 You have a crush on me, it's obvious. 347 00:11:18,551 --> 00:11:20,319 Why would I have a crush on you? 348 00:11:20,386 --> 00:11:22,788 You are the most stubborn, annoying, frustrating person 349 00:11:22,855 --> 00:11:24,489 I have ever met in my entire life. 350 00:11:24,557 --> 00:11:26,491 Why don't you tell that to the judge in your pants? 351 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:28,060 Verdict's in. You're guilty. 352 00:11:29,395 --> 00:11:30,996 Where are you going?! 353 00:11:31,064 --> 00:11:32,397 I'm shutting down your ranch. 354 00:11:32,465 --> 00:11:35,667 Leave my ranch out of it! 355 00:11:35,735 --> 00:11:38,403 Well, then I'm gonna do this, you idiot. 356 00:11:38,471 --> 00:11:39,705 Whoa. 357 00:11:39,772 --> 00:11:40,839 No, don't. 358 00:11:40,907 --> 00:11:42,341 - Leave it alone. - Stop. 359 00:11:43,276 --> 00:11:45,544 No, you don't... 360 00:11:47,914 --> 00:11:49,181 - What is going on?! - Damn! Damn! 361 00:11:49,248 --> 00:11:50,549 Reagan, please, let... 362 00:12:01,694 --> 00:12:04,129 - Look, she's the one... - Wh... No, you're the one. 363 00:12:04,197 --> 00:12:06,031 Now, get down to the basement and fix our power. 364 00:12:06,099 --> 00:12:07,833 But the basement? There are so many rats. 365 00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:09,501 She'll probably try to make out with me. 366 00:12:09,569 --> 00:12:10,836 Please, I would rather make out with a rat. 367 00:12:10,903 --> 00:12:12,003 Gross. Did you hear what she just said? 368 00:12:12,071 --> 00:12:13,705 Stop! Go to the basement 369 00:12:13,773 --> 00:12:16,475 - and stay there until the power is fixed! - Yes, sir. 370 00:12:20,146 --> 00:12:22,080 Now, I have accidentally pressed all of the buttons, 371 00:12:22,148 --> 00:12:23,915 but you will stay on the elevator 372 00:12:23,983 --> 00:12:25,884 until you get to the basement! 373 00:12:25,952 --> 00:12:29,600 And when you get to that basement... Aw, damn... 374 00:12:31,481 --> 00:12:33,937 How is it even hotter down here 375 00:12:34,124 --> 00:12:36,093 Because the heat stays low, you dummy. 376 00:12:36,178 --> 00:12:37,512 It's bad enough that we're down here, 377 00:12:37,580 --> 00:12:38,847 I can't explain science to you. 378 00:12:38,915 --> 00:12:40,315 I hope that the Chicago Cubs 379 00:12:40,383 --> 00:12:42,317 win the World Series while you're in a coma. 380 00:12:42,385 --> 00:12:45,687 That's one of the meanest things anybody has ever said to me. 381 00:12:45,755 --> 00:12:47,923 We are visitors, let's act like it. 382 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,328 Hello, rats? 383 00:12:53,396 --> 00:12:55,497 Hello?! 384 00:12:55,564 --> 00:12:57,499 I come to hurt ya. 385 00:12:59,568 --> 00:13:02,804 Okay, for those who have not been scared off, 386 00:13:02,872 --> 00:13:04,806 I actually come in peace. 387 00:13:04,874 --> 00:13:06,335 My name is Nick. 388 00:13:06,403 --> 00:13:08,977 - I've been down here a lot. - Hello, Nicholas. 389 00:13:09,045 --> 00:13:10,345 I'm Jeremiah. 390 00:13:10,413 --> 00:13:11,813 - Sorry. - Why would you...? 391 00:13:11,881 --> 00:13:14,516 - It's funny. - Very clever. 392 00:13:14,583 --> 00:13:15,517 You got really scared. 393 00:13:15,584 --> 00:13:16,985 I'm not so scared, 394 00:13:17,053 --> 00:13:18,486 but don't ever do that again. 395 00:13:18,554 --> 00:13:20,655 It's also a very good rat voice. 396 00:13:20,723 --> 00:13:22,557 Thank you But it is a terrible rat name. 397 00:13:22,625 --> 00:13:25,360 Jeremiah? That would never be the name of a rat. 398 00:13:25,428 --> 00:13:27,362 It's name is, like, Sushi. 399 00:13:27,430 --> 00:13:28,663 Or "Ma-cushi." 400 00:13:29,598 --> 00:13:30,999 Now, follow me. 401 00:13:31,067 --> 00:13:33,835 I want to leave one set of footprints. 402 00:13:33,903 --> 00:13:36,171 That is a perfect plan, but I'm not going to do that. 403 00:13:41,477 --> 00:13:43,411 Oh, hello, old friend. 404 00:13:43,479 --> 00:13:45,547 Funny seeing you here. 405 00:13:46,615 --> 00:13:47,949 Tick-tock. 406 00:13:48,017 --> 00:13:49,451 Almost audition time. 407 00:13:50,619 --> 00:13:51,953 - Hey, Cece. - Huh? 408 00:13:52,021 --> 00:13:53,788 You know that thing you said before 409 00:13:53,856 --> 00:13:55,790 about you not being talented enough? 410 00:13:55,858 --> 00:13:57,225 You didn't mean that, right? 411 00:13:57,293 --> 00:13:58,626 Yeah, I did. 412 00:13:58,694 --> 00:14:00,228 Newscasters are amazing. 413 00:14:00,296 --> 00:14:01,162 But so are you. 414 00:14:01,230 --> 00:14:03,164 Come on, Schmidt, okay? 415 00:14:03,232 --> 00:14:05,000 I'm a bartender and a model. 416 00:14:10,973 --> 00:14:12,874 Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to step out of the vehicle. 417 00:14:12,942 --> 00:14:15,377 - Yes, do it, baby. - "Vehicle"? What vehicle? 418 00:14:15,444 --> 00:14:17,245 The metaphorical vehicle that is holding you back. 419 00:14:17,313 --> 00:14:19,280 - Oh. - Don't explain yourself. Just go with it. 420 00:14:19,348 --> 00:14:21,783 You are a brilliant, amazing woman, 421 00:14:21,851 --> 00:14:24,552 - who is capable of anything. - Okay, maybe drop the Southern accent. 422 00:14:24,620 --> 00:14:26,588 What, you got mozzarell in your ears? 423 00:14:26,655 --> 00:14:28,790 You're, uh, get out of your own way, lady, huh? 424 00:14:28,858 --> 00:14:30,892 Uh, tr-try, Law & Order... uh, Hargitay. 425 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,261 I've got a past and it affects my job. 426 00:14:33,329 --> 00:14:35,365 And my relationships... I can't really do a Mariska. 427 00:14:35,433 --> 00:14:36,518 What is happening here? 428 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,590 Cece, I know the audition is scary for you. 429 00:14:38,634 --> 00:14:42,103 I would not be doing my job as the man who loves you 430 00:14:42,171 --> 00:14:43,838 if I let you walk away from this. 431 00:14:43,906 --> 00:14:46,174 Don't blow it, Cece! 432 00:14:46,242 --> 00:14:49,010 You are not walking away from this opportunity! 433 00:14:50,913 --> 00:14:52,847 - Okay... - I'm gonna need less talking out of you 434 00:14:52,915 --> 00:14:54,482 and more action, damn it! 435 00:14:56,852 --> 00:14:58,787 Wow. 436 00:15:01,157 --> 00:15:02,924 Wait, no, Cece, I'm sorry. 437 00:15:02,992 --> 00:15:04,392 Did I take it too far? 438 00:15:04,460 --> 00:15:06,761 I took it too far, didn't I? Oh, God. 439 00:15:06,829 --> 00:15:07,962 It's fine. 440 00:15:08,030 --> 00:15:10,432 I have been down this road many a-times. 441 00:15:10,499 --> 00:15:13,068 She's gonna come walking back through that door 442 00:15:13,135 --> 00:15:15,103 in three, two... 443 00:15:21,844 --> 00:15:24,679 Look, Schmidt, not for nothing, 444 00:15:24,747 --> 00:15:28,316 man, you got so many good characters inside of you. 445 00:15:28,376 --> 00:15:31,200 Oh, my gosh. 446 00:15:31,276 --> 00:15:33,955 - Did you already bind the 120s? - Yeah, this should do it. 447 00:15:34,023 --> 00:15:36,791 Do what? Cook you like barbecue chicken? 448 00:15:36,859 --> 00:15:39,127 - I traced it back. It's fine. - I wouldn't do that if I were you. 449 00:15:39,195 --> 00:15:41,129 - It's not safe. - Can you admit that I might actually 450 00:15:41,197 --> 00:15:42,363 be right about something for once? 451 00:15:42,431 --> 00:15:43,664 - It's your own funeral; you win. - Great. 452 00:15:43,732 --> 00:15:44,801 - Don't do it! - Nick! 453 00:15:44,826 --> 00:15:46,139 Fine, let's just say you are right. 454 00:15:46,194 --> 00:15:48,248 Then at least let me do it, okay? 455 00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:50,680 You don't have to do that. 456 00:15:50,748 --> 00:15:52,076 I want to do it. 457 00:15:53,178 --> 00:15:56,336 I mean, I don't, like, want to do it, obviously, but... 458 00:15:56,404 --> 00:15:58,346 What if I'm wrong? 459 00:15:58,413 --> 00:16:01,244 If you think this is right, it's probably right. 460 00:16:01,312 --> 00:16:03,423 You've been, you've been right about a lot of stuff today. 461 00:16:03,491 --> 00:16:05,708 Like what? What else was I right about? 462 00:16:05,775 --> 00:16:06,613 Just a lot of stuff. I don't want to talk about what 463 00:16:06,681 --> 00:16:09,150 you were actually right about at this moment. Okay, ready? 464 00:16:09,321 --> 00:16:11,570 - Uh... - If I get burned up 465 00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:12,632 and die this way, it would be 466 00:16:12,657 --> 00:16:13,962 such an embarrassing way to go. 467 00:16:14,251 --> 00:16:15,887 But what would be nice about it is 468 00:16:15,954 --> 00:16:17,186 that I would technically have been right. 469 00:16:17,254 --> 00:16:18,854 Here we go. 470 00:16:18,922 --> 00:16:20,489 Heroes don't wear capes. 471 00:16:20,557 --> 00:16:22,324 No, no, no... 472 00:16:25,929 --> 00:16:27,930 Those sons of bitches did it. 473 00:16:30,433 --> 00:16:32,034 Hey, great! 474 00:16:32,102 --> 00:16:34,770 Really good. 475 00:16:34,838 --> 00:16:36,772 That was really great. 476 00:16:43,947 --> 00:16:45,748 What are you looking at? 477 00:16:45,815 --> 00:16:47,550 Huge... rat. 478 00:16:57,827 --> 00:16:59,628 No! No! No! 479 00:16:59,696 --> 00:17:01,530 This is my nightmare! 480 00:17:08,605 --> 00:17:11,373 It's time. 481 00:17:19,722 --> 00:17:21,289 How did I...? 482 00:17:21,357 --> 00:17:23,458 Did you carry me out like a firefighter? 483 00:17:23,525 --> 00:17:25,326 No, you woke up right away. 484 00:17:25,394 --> 00:17:26,794 And then you were like, "Ooh, I need some fresh air." 485 00:17:26,862 --> 00:17:28,429 So we came outside, I bought you a muffin 486 00:17:28,497 --> 00:17:29,664 and then you passed out again. 487 00:17:29,732 --> 00:17:31,666 Oh, yeah, I remember that muffin. 488 00:17:31,734 --> 00:17:33,134 I feel like you had a pretty bad shock, 489 00:17:33,202 --> 00:17:35,436 so let's ask a few questions. 490 00:17:35,504 --> 00:17:37,372 What day of the week is it? 491 00:17:37,439 --> 00:17:39,540 That's not something I typically know. 492 00:17:39,608 --> 00:17:41,676 I would guess Monday. 493 00:17:41,744 --> 00:17:42,844 Okay. 494 00:17:42,912 --> 00:17:44,212 Blackout. 495 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,847 ATM's are down. 496 00:17:45,915 --> 00:17:47,715 Cash is king 497 00:17:47,783 --> 00:17:49,784 and batteries is queen. 498 00:17:49,852 --> 00:17:52,387 What? Stop being so whimsical, Winston. 499 00:17:53,956 --> 00:17:55,890 Cece still hasn't called me back. 500 00:17:57,426 --> 00:17:58,893 I think I pushed her too far. 501 00:17:58,961 --> 00:18:01,396 No, Schmidt, you did the right thing, man. 502 00:18:01,463 --> 00:18:02,964 Look, people get mad at police officers 503 00:18:03,032 --> 00:18:05,366 because we tell them what they don't want to hear. 504 00:18:05,434 --> 00:18:07,168 Yet, everyone loves 505 00:18:07,236 --> 00:18:09,003 police officer... 506 00:18:09,071 --> 00:18:10,705 Hey, it's a blackout, 507 00:18:10,773 --> 00:18:11,806 not the Rapture! 508 00:18:11,874 --> 00:18:12,807 You yield! 509 00:18:12,875 --> 00:18:14,042 All right! 510 00:18:14,109 --> 00:18:15,643 Hey, hey, hey, sir, sir! 511 00:18:15,711 --> 00:18:17,913 Keep it moving! Keep it moving! Keep it moving! 512 00:18:17,981 --> 00:18:18,980 Come on, right this way, ma'am. 513 00:18:19,048 --> 00:18:20,949 Right this way, ma'am. Right this way, ma'am. 514 00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:23,117 Right that way, ma'am. Sir, go, go, go! 515 00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,152 We ain't got all day! 516 00:18:24,219 --> 00:18:25,520 Sir! 517 00:18:25,587 --> 00:18:26,318 Cece. 518 00:18:26,343 --> 00:18:27,892 Right this way, ma'am. Right that way, ma'am. 519 00:18:27,935 --> 00:18:29,023 Thank God you're here. 520 00:18:29,091 --> 00:18:31,159 Look... I'm-I'm sorry. 521 00:18:31,226 --> 00:18:32,727 Yeah, well, you should be. You really pissed me off. 522 00:18:32,795 --> 00:18:35,229 I wrote something rude on your car. 523 00:18:35,297 --> 00:18:36,664 It was that stupid cop voice. 524 00:18:36,732 --> 00:18:37,865 I shouldn't have pushed you that hard. 525 00:18:37,933 --> 00:18:39,167 No, you should've. 526 00:18:39,234 --> 00:18:40,768 'Cause you were right. 527 00:18:40,836 --> 00:18:43,504 I was chickening out. 528 00:18:43,572 --> 00:18:45,840 - So I went. - You did? 529 00:18:45,908 --> 00:18:47,542 - Mm-hmm. - Well, that's amazing. How did it go? 530 00:18:47,609 --> 00:18:49,277 - Real bad. Yeah. - It went real bad? 531 00:18:49,345 --> 00:18:50,945 Okay, well, you know what? Don't worry about it, baby, I'm sure... 532 00:18:51,013 --> 00:18:52,947 No, no, no, no. They just didn't... 533 00:18:53,015 --> 00:18:54,582 It was, it was legitimately terrible 534 00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:58,386 but not because I'm not talented. 535 00:18:58,454 --> 00:19:00,221 I went to the bar first 536 00:19:00,289 --> 00:19:02,952 so I was wasted and wearing shorts, 537 00:19:03,020 --> 00:19:04,826 which I won't do next time. 538 00:19:06,261 --> 00:19:07,795 Thank you for pushing me. 539 00:19:07,863 --> 00:19:09,163 We need to do that kind of thing for each other. 540 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,832 Yes, please. 541 00:19:10,899 --> 00:19:12,834 I agree, unless, 542 00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:15,036 of course, it's about me using face wash all over my body. 543 00:19:15,104 --> 00:19:17,905 - Ah, this again, really? - I don't care that it's expensive. 544 00:19:17,973 --> 00:19:20,608 - I know that you don't care. - I'm just gonna keep on doing it. 545 00:19:20,676 --> 00:19:22,577 Oh, ice cream truck! Oh! 546 00:19:22,644 --> 00:19:23,845 Right this way! 547 00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:25,213 Here we go, sir. Here we go, sir. 548 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:26,881 Here we go, sir. All right, stop! 549 00:19:29,785 --> 00:19:31,619 Ice cream, man, open up. 550 00:19:31,687 --> 00:19:33,388 Where the ice cream at? 551 00:19:33,455 --> 00:19:35,423 Can I buy you some ice cream? 552 00:19:35,491 --> 00:19:37,859 First, uh, I just want to revisit that little moment 553 00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:39,260 in the basement where you were like, 554 00:19:39,328 --> 00:19:41,562 "Hey, Reagan, you've been right about a lot of stuff today." 555 00:19:41,630 --> 00:19:42,678 Really? 556 00:19:42,703 --> 00:19:44,089 I just want you to specifically tell me what 557 00:19:44,133 --> 00:19:45,666 You are out of control. I've been right about. 558 00:19:45,734 --> 00:19:47,502 You're a grown man. I just think you should be 559 00:19:47,569 --> 00:19:48,936 - able to say it. - You dick. 560 00:19:52,241 --> 00:19:54,008 I have a crush on you. 561 00:19:54,076 --> 00:19:55,410 Hmm. 562 00:19:55,477 --> 00:19:56,744 There it is. 563 00:19:56,812 --> 00:19:57,812 I have a crush on you. 564 00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,013 Isn't that better? 565 00:19:59,081 --> 00:20:00,581 Now we can just put it behind us, 566 00:20:00,649 --> 00:20:03,351 move on, don't have to be weird. 567 00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:06,020 No, I, obviously, I-I know it's not gonna be a problem, Reagan. 568 00:20:06,088 --> 00:20:07,622 I don't have any illusion 569 00:20:07,689 --> 00:20:09,323 that you're gonna go for a guy like me. 570 00:20:09,391 --> 00:20:11,025 I am a total mess. I understand that. 571 00:20:11,093 --> 00:20:13,461 I mean, you're-you're beautiful, 572 00:20:13,529 --> 00:20:14,862 and-and you're smart, 573 00:20:14,930 --> 00:20:17,198 and you're-you're mean, 574 00:20:17,266 --> 00:20:18,733 but in a hot way. 575 00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:21,469 And-and you have the-the mind of a electrician, 576 00:20:21,537 --> 00:20:24,672 which is so confusingly hot, because that is not, like, 577 00:20:24,740 --> 00:20:25,873 a sexy... 578 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,928 Excuse me, is your name Stephanie? 579 00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:49,397 I'm supposed to be meeting somebody here. 580 00:20:51,266 --> 00:20:53,468 It's Nick. 581 00:20:53,535 --> 00:20:56,637 So, no Stephanie. 582 00:20:56,705 --> 00:20:59,207 Hey, yo, Nick, you coming, man? 583 00:21:01,610 --> 00:21:02,877 Great. 584 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,380 What is this, a frozen banana, Winston? 585 00:21:06,448 --> 00:21:08,249 Okay. 586 00:21:08,317 --> 00:21:09,717 While you're gassing up, 587 00:21:09,785 --> 00:21:12,687 let's look at the stock merkins. 588 00:21:12,754 --> 00:21:14,589 Marts... Nope! 589 00:21:14,656 --> 00:21:16,524 Is this... is this here? 590 00:21:16,592 --> 00:21:18,826 Or is it more here? Your frame? 591 00:21:18,894 --> 00:21:20,695 Because I don't want to just be like, 592 00:21:20,762 --> 00:21:22,930 you know, a head that's like... 593 00:21:22,998 --> 00:21:24,932 Scientists have discovered 594 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,768 a new kind of butter. 595 00:21:27,836 --> 00:21:30,404 Fly in the Amazon. 596 00:21:30,472 --> 00:21:32,240 What the crap does that mean? 597 00:21:32,307 --> 00:21:34,242 I'm so sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. 598 00:21:34,309 --> 00:21:35,810 You don't... 599 00:21:35,878 --> 00:21:38,813 Is this...? I don't know who I borrowed this from.